And welcome to another episode of the stuck my mind podcast. I'm your host, w I z e, And my next guest is a distinguished US army veteran, accomplished life coach, and transformative trainer. Welcome to the show, Derek Johnson. Hey. Hey. How's it going, Will? Pleasure to be here, Wise. Thanks thanks for stopping by, man. How how you doing today? Doing great. Doing great. Been an awesome month. That's good. That's good. Alright. So let's just just jump into this. Okay.
Alright. So like I mentioned, you you in the, in the US army. How did your experience in the US army shape your approach to coaching and mentorship? Great question. So what I took from the US army was the discipline aspect and the camaraderie. And I'll start with the camaraderie. So some people, they didn't play sports as a child or as a teenager, so they never really had that group setting whether it was males and males, females and females, or best of both. But the camaraderie
aspect is definitely something that I brought into it. Because if they didn't play sports or were never part of, like, a group or sales team professionally or personally, then they don't really have that experience of having that camaraderie of people that truly just want them to level up and win together rather than just like a 1 man team or every man for themselves. So definitely the camaraderie bringing that aspect to it. And then number 2 is the discipline.
And more so with the daily routine starting with the morning. As you know, sports, military, we all get up early, so I never force people or tell people what time to wake up, but I do make the suggestion to get up a little bit earlier So they at least have 30 minutes minimum to themselves, whether that's going for a walk, whether that's just meditating, yoga, hitting the gym. If they can get 30 minutes minimum, if they can get more, awesome. But 30 minutes
minimum to themselves. So definitely the discipline aspect of the morning routine and then bringing in the camaraderie. So that way, they they don't feel like they have to hold everything in. They have a good solid team that they can count on and vice versa. Alright. So can can you share, like, a pivotal moment for you in the military in your military career that significantly influenced your your coaching philosophy? Yes. 100%. So dealing with the different personalities and cultures.
So seeing people bumping heads in field training. You're sleep deprived. You're hungry. You're dehydrated. You're in the heat. You you haven't showered in a few days, you've got you've used baby wipes. Like, we can all paint the picture, but you're out there and everybody's just annoyed. No matter what their rank is, at the end of the day, everybody's human in that moment and is annoyed, but we have a mission to do and objective to get completed. So in
those moments, a lot of soldiers would argue. They'd be on edge, and there's a lot of hostile energy and hostility. So as the leader being able to sense, does he or she need to vent? Maybe they're going through something personal. And everything that's happening here right now to all of us is maybe not the icing on the cake. It's something at home or it's, hey. This person took their last pack of macaroni, whatever it was,
and they just, like, flipped out. But being able to identify each individual person, how they react in different situations. So an example could be some people, they love the drill sergeant mentality, and that's what they need. They're very straight straightforward, very direct. Others, they just need to be pulled to the side and just ask him or her, hey. What is the main thing that is bothering
you? I can tell that there's a lot on your mind, but the key moments would be in the heated moments where everybody was annoyed with each other and just wanted to go home, being able to identify how to approach the team as a whole or the platoon and squad, and then how to approach the individuals 1 on 1 and knowing, okay. I
can sense his energy is different today. Let me approach him this way. So having a different level of approach with each each person depending on the scenario played a major factor in how I approach people nowadays where I can better read the individual and better read the energy of a room or of a group as a collective. Okay. So okay. How how did you navigate and transform the hate and adversity into fuel for personal and and professional growth? Great question.
So I'm actually my father's African American, so he's a farm boy from Mississippi, and my mother is German. So as a child, we we lived in Germany. And then in elementary school, we moved to Pensacola, Florida. So it's in the Panhandle. I I like to call it Floribama, so you could tell I got various accents. So living in the south and never actually visiting America until I was in elementary, we were I was in
3rd grade. So I got the culture shock going into middle school of seeing how close minded some parts of the nation are. And, like, I saw it on TV. I knew about it, but I'd never lived in America, so I didn't know what to expect. And I was like, alright. Big school, cheerleaders, big cafeteria, big gym, like, everything big, big meal, big plates. And you watch the movies, and you just think that's what it what's gonna be
expected, and it actually was a 100%. So, like, all my German family when they came to the states, I would take them to my school, and they're like, this is like a movie. It's actually just like it. So I had that experience as a child. And then from there, I quickly learned that close mentalities exist on every side. So being the light skinned one, as you probably relate, people don't don't fully know what you are at first. They're like, is he is he half black, half white? Is he Puerto Rican? Is
he this? Is he Dominican? Maybe he's Mexican. And so with that being said, the preconceived notions that some people would have, and it was mainly from guys that I played ball with. Like, I didn't know them personally back then because I was the new kid. But as a light skinned, pretty boy, soft, whatever they wanna call it, I had to prove myself on the basketball court. So I knew that if I don't stand up to these guys and maybe I'd have to get in a fight, I'm just gonna be the one
that's bullied constantly. So that's eventually what I had to do was just one good fight in front of everyone, and then they were like, hey. This guy's not soft. Internally, I was like, this is stupid. Why do I have to do this? These are my own people. This is a waste of time. But I was like, I have to, or I'm just gonna get bullied this whole year, and I don't wanna deal with that. So one was standing up for myself, and I'm not just condoling violence, but it is what it is back then.
Like, you had to stand up for yourself. Yeah. So being able to utilize that, but not seeing it as I hate anyone. It's more so like, hey. This is their territory. They grew up a certain way. Dad thought a different way. His grandpa thought a certain way, and the same thing with other cultures or other races. So definitely been being in that position to having to prove myself to my own people and as in mainly African American guys. But after that, there
was, like, the mutual respect. We weren't really friends. A lot of the guys I played ball with, but we respected each other. Like, hey. He has my back. I have his. We're not scared of anything. So there was that one main thing as a team. Witnessing it from our side because I thought it was gonna be the opposite. Some other buddies who are also mix or were different cultures from military backgrounds are
like, hey. When you go to that state, you gotta watch out. Because, like, half of my school was country black folk, and the other half was, like, white rednecks. And I was friends with everybody, so I didn't I didn't care what color anybody was. And they're like, yeah. You gotta watch out this and this. And I was like, hey. The people had 0 issues with who are the other side. So it was interesting time, but I definitely learned a lot in
regards to people's upbringing. That's all it is. You don't know what you don't know, so my whole intent was always to face whatever was happening, but then give them an example of a good memory with somebody that was different. Where they're like, wow. I thought he was gonna be angry the rest of the school year. He actually shook my hand afterwards and went from there. So I always try to leave on a positive note.
Cool. Yeah. And on what ways has fitness played a role in your personal healing journey, and how do you incorporate that into your coaching? Great question. So growing up, both of my parents grew up poor, and they became highly successful. So my dad was US army for 25 plus years, and he retired. And my mother was a kindergarten teacher for 40 plus years. And she was a kindergarten teacher at Montessori. I
didn't personally go to Montessori. That's a private school. So, a lot of people knew both of my parents all around the country and in different and in different countries as well. But with that being said, they face a lot of trauma in childhood and teenage years. And I noticed when I turned 12 that there was a shift at home that they would drink a lot more after work. It never affected
professional life, but it affected personal life. So we had the beautiful home in Florida with the pool and all that, nice looking family. Everything looked great from the outside. But as soon as the last guest left the cookout, the birthday dinner, whatever get together there was, closed the door, and then something just erupted. Like, glass is being thrown, yelling, screaming, punching killers, all kind of stuff, and that would
happen 300 plus nights out of the year. And so fitness was my outlet because I didn't wanna repeat the process of, let me grab a bottle and drink my feelings away or find another vice. So what I did, I was that skinny, scared, fearful, timid kid, and I knew that I had to change my body, not to just become mister muscle man, but more so that even my posture was bad and had a very bad stuttering issue. So I I was stuttering. I was skinny. I was bullied at home, bullied at school, and I was
just like, enough is enough. And so I got massively obsessed with learning about the body and the mind. And then within 2 years, I transformed my body into a athletic build, and then that's when my friends, my classmates, teachers, and professors started to ask, like, hey. Are you the same guy? Did you have a twin? Like, what what happened? You were used to be really skinny and timid and all that. And so I use that
pain as fuel opposed to giving people what they expected. So, like, younger version before I did all that, I would go to the room and cry or I would yell back and just give too much emotion. And so when I was 14, that's when I made a promise to myself and I said, I'm no longer allowing people to control my reaction. I'm not gonna give them what they expect, whether that's family,
whether that's bully, whether that's just somebody random in public. So from there, I just stayed much calmer, and most of it came from my workouts, whether that was late night or early morning, but it was more so for my mentality to to be calmer because I never wanted to snap at school or at home. But working on myself with the family, working on myself because of school, I was able to just be that calm and under control teenager who then realized that he had a lot of natural abilities to
help others and lead others. But I do feel that kids and teens that went through trauma, whatever their extent or level was, were all given a gift. And I truly feel that my gift was discernment, so being able to meet people where they're at and then slowly build them up. And the same thing with a group. And I think it's just because when you're that kid thinking something's gonna be thrown at you, you're gonna get hit or thrown against the wall. You're always on edge and always hyper
aware. So I think that was another cheat code for the military. It's like everything at home set me up for it. And I was like, oh, okay. Drill sergeants, y'all saying nothing against my, 54 German mother. So I was used to the yelling and screaming. I'm like, it's a walk in the park. So you you mentioned your father was, Korean military man. What Yes. What what was your inspiration for you to transition from being a a distinguished military career to becoming a life coach?
Great question. So the transition was that I always forecasted that I wanted to utilize the military as a stepping stone. I never truly wanted to go 20 plus years and retire. Everybody else is like, oh, you should because the retirement plan, x x y z, like, all these different things. I was like, hey. That sounds great. I understand what it is, but my heart and my passion was always in helping empower other people and seeing them so prideful, seeing them so happy and excited about
life because they accomplished their goals. So I knew that it would be coaching. It all started as just fitness and performance. And then the more that I dealt with different cultures and people, I started to really pinpoint people's patterns and, like, how they react to things, why she acts this way, why they act that way. Then I got really interested in
learning more about the mind. And a huge shift was after months or years that I would train with someone online or in person as in just fitness, I would see them online or in person months or years later, and I'd say, oh my god. He or she lost their results. And at first, I was like, man, I let them down because I didn't give them the mental tools that they couldn't sustain it. And so that's
truly what inspired me the most. I never wanted somebody to go backwards again. So nowadays, people less likely go backwards physically, emotionally, or mentally, or even professionally because we're able to get rid of those patterns, limiting beliefs, traumas, whatever that thing was that was always weighing on them or on the in their chest. So being able to see, okay, he or she got in great shape, but we never worked on the inner thing, so they started to go backwards again
once we stopped working together or once they finished their programming. So that was a huge factor for that. I just wanted to help people in a deeper way because I saw that there's a lot of broken souls or confused people, and I just have always hated seeing people unknowingly waste their potential. So I wanted to make sure to build them up. Okay. So how do you tailor your coaching modalities to meet the unique needs of individuals versus organizations?
Great question. So what I do on a 1 on 1 level is we first just have a conversation specifically about their goals, and then we start to peel back the layers. So one of the first things that I do with anyone is we create a eliminate sheet. So they grab a notebook and pen, and we ask the question, what are some things that you could eliminate or replace with something better that could help you make more progress. And it usually starts with the basics of what somebody consumes, what they eat and
drink. It doesn't mean that everybody eats or drinks extremely, but it could just be those small thing. It's like, man, he he wants to drink less sodas. She wants to drink less wine. Could be that small thing where it turned from 5 days a week to 7 days a week. For somebody else, it might be something more personal. Maybe it's anger. Maybe that is their advice. So they just really start to go deeper, but we first start with what they consume, what they eat, what they drink, and then
what they do on these devices. What is their advice on here? Because everybody has a pattern. We get bored. We open up the app. We get stressed. We open up the app. Then we do a loop. TikTok, Facebook, email, this, this, this. Oh, shoot. 20 minutes went by. What am I doing? It's hard to get back into the workflow. So we first identify what are some things that we could get rid of or replace with something
better that they can make more progress. And once we learn more about where they're at, then we can start to tailor to see what he or she needs in this moment because it's always different for everyone. Because sometimes somebody might have a fitness goal, but then we realize that the reason they haven't gotten results is because they have a bad relationship with food based off of being bullied when they're a
kid, family making fun of them, past relationships. There's usually something deeper than just wanting that body or performance or just overall health. So having a good quality conversation and being present with them. So that's a huge thing that I try to aim for. Be present with them. They're present in the conversation. Because as you know, nowadays, it's it's like this. Oh, yeah. Yeah. No. No. No. No. Waz, I'm
I'm listening to you, man. You know? You know? So everybody's doing that nowadays. So that's why people don't really like to talk about their goals because most people don't care or they're not even listening. So I try to give the give them that undivided attention. So can can you elaborate on the role of mental fitness in your coaching and why it's a key focus? Yes. Definitely. So I like to see it as, do you have the tools on how you react to stressful situations?
So, like, a person could in the past respond in a negative aggressive way to a stressful situation. Yes. We're we're allowed to be pissed off, sad, whatever the emotion is, but how long do we stay there? So with the emotional fitness and the mental fitness is more so what is the time window that they will allow themselves to stay in that state? So I ask my friends and clients this. They'll say, hey. I can sense that you're going through x
y z, but how long do you wanna feel this way? And it catches people off guard because they're like, I wanna be pissed off for 1 hour. And then they they're like, is it 1 hour or 30 minutes? They're like, I don't know how to answer that. I'm like, alright. So let's just give yourself a 10 minute window. If you have to yell, yell. If you need to meditate, if you need to pray, if you just need to
go outside and go for a 5 minute walk, like, whatever it is. But it's more so seeing that the best leaders, they can control their reactions to things much better. Yes. Life happens. Yes. Stress is there. Anxiety is real. All those things are real, but how quick could they come back to being on a equilibrium and being calm and controlled? Because sometimes that person might get angry. You might catch yourself being angry for 2 hours, 2 days, or 2 weeks where you're like, alright.
I gotta get it out of out of the zone. So that individual being able to catch themselves like, hey. I noticed I'm in the zone. I'm in a really low place because I thought of the past, whatever it is. What do I need to do to reset? Let me just have some me time. Let me call my friend and say, hey. Today, I'm not gonna be at the dinner. Just need a couple hours. I'll see you guys tomorrow. So helping people become that person who can catch it
before they're deep in that emotion, whatever the emotion is. And we're not saying these emotions are not real. It's more so like, hey. Let's give us a time window to release and reset so we can get back to whatever is next. Okay. You you mentioned your mixed background. So how does your mixed race background influence your coaching and connect you with clients on a deeper level? I think a major factor with that is growing up in Germany and traveling a lot, seeing
different cultures really just opened my mind. And also on top of that, being that quiet kid who's always yelled at and saw a lot of wild stuff is that I was just always quiet and reading the room. So being able to, like, watch my parents and their friends and all the different cultures, see how they interact, see what makes them. And I was just always people watching and
just taking a lot of mental notes. Because once you're exposed to different type of cultures, experiences, traumatic situations, you can identify people's patterns really quickly. Now that you can read everyone perfectly, but you can use these sense. You're like, okay. He carries himself this way. I guarantee you he's been through a lot and he did a lot of work, or she did this and this. And you can start to really read the room seeing how people react to things.
But I think one being mixed and just seeing different cultures like Germans, they're very strict and gung ho professional. They're extreme OCD, so there's that side. My dad's side is from Mississippi, from the farmland, so they got the work ethic, the discipline up early and all that. So kinda taking the best of both, but also with our surroundings. Like, some of my friends growing up are Filipino, and I learned so much from them. And the others are Vietnamese. Some are from
Venezuela. So all of us would teach each other things, and it was just amazing to see because nowadays, I feel like that's needed more than ever. Just like a melting pot of people coming together. You teach me about that food. I'll teach you what we ate in our country. And it's like next thing we know, we all know something new, and we have that camaraderie again. Cool. That's dope. What what principles guide your coaching when it comes to helping clients take control of their minds and bodies?
Teaching them how to become that individual that they would be proud of and seeing that how they can give back to others, whether that's personal, whether that's their career, maybe it's charity work or nonprofit, but making that person proud first. So it's always based on them first. And society would say, well, that's selfish. You need to do this. But we see it as selfless because when you take care of you first with your morning
routine, you're in a good headspace. No matter what traffic happens, no matter if Wi Fi goes out, no matter if somebody pisses you off in public, you're gonna be like, hey. I had a good morning workout. I already planned my whole day. I'm in a good zone. Nobody's gonna ruin my
energy. So being that person repetitively by just having control, but what we aim for is to become that person that he or she would be proud of, calm and confident, and see how they can give back to others in whatever way that gives them a passion or gives them a rush. Yeah. No. It's you're absolutely right. You need to it's something that I've been I've learned last few years is that I need my my my time to recharge my battery. I
need my time to Oh, yeah. To really get back in the space, especially when so right now, we're we're going through something with my family because, my mom is soft suffering from Alzheimer's, and it's it's it's it's getting worse. It's progressing. And and I can look at it and and be upset and angry and everything, but I I I I I start looking at it at the times I had with her. And and I I when I think of her, I think of her of how she used to be. I don't I don't look at her as as
she is now. Yes. I look at her at how she used to be the strong, independent woman that I grew up with. So it's like but you have those moments that these these these things, obstacles in your life, they they get in your way, but you gotta some you gotta overcome them. You have to face them and and and and look at look at the the the bright side of of everything in life.
Exactly. 100%. And on a faith level, I truly believe that everything is happening for us, not to us, even the bad, because sometimes those situations can, like, spark a whole new path, career or personal, for someone because of something that happened with families. So it's always interesting, the the big
picture. But I know that deep down that she's gonna be proud and whoever else is in the circle of family or friends, they're gonna be proud of what you're doing and just using all that stuff as fuel when you're like, you know what? I got hundreds of amazing memories. I remember this. Remember that. I don't know if you got wife and kids, but you're cooking a dish that she used to teach you how to make, and you have those good memories and holiday season's coming up. So to taking
all that with you. No. Definitely. Definitely. It's, I I've she's to me, she she's, she's been that person who like, growing up, she she was the the family member that her door was open to everyone. It didn't matter where you came from, who you were. Her house was open to you. If you needed somewhere to stay, her house was the place. She she took care of people. She's her her her thing her thing was always taken. No one went to our house and
ever went hungry. Yeah. Like, what we might not had a pantry full of food, but what we had, she made sure if someone came to our house that they were fed. So being raised by her and looking at how she treated people and and how they treated her back in return, That that's how I live now is I treat people the way I wanna be treated, and I get that from her. I get that. I get the way she she treated it didn't matter who you were.
She treated you with the utmost respect, and that's how I go into life. When I meet someone, I treat them with the utmost respect. And if they can't treat me with the same respect, then I don't associate myself with them. I I make sure that I'm not around that energy. Oh, yeah. The most part, I I've learned from her that if you wanna be treated a certain way, then you need to know how to treat people. Exactly. Is she from the where where is she from originally? My mom's Puerto Rican.
Okay. Makes sense. That that was my guess right when we popped on. Also, with the Yankee set, I was like, alright. I could tell. Yeah. She feels Puerto I was born in Brooklyn, raised in Brooklyn, but she she was born in Puerto Rico, raised. My my mom is my mom is 84 years old. She had me when she was 37, 38 years old. So she had me later on. So my siblings
are older than me. And so, she she's she's old school, but she's always been that person where, like I said, no one if you needed some place to stay, if you didn't have food, she was that person that she would give it to you. Oh, yeah. That's amazing. So can you can you share an empowers your sex story from your coaching career that
stands out in your memory? Like, is there one specific coaching coaching job you had where you're like, man, this was a rough one, but we've really, really worked hard and got you to where you're seeing much some great progress. Oh, yeah. A 100%. So this was last year. One of my clients, she broke the world record for running the marathon, pushing her brother who has a disability. So her brother has cerebral palsy, and so she's been a runner. She was a college
athlete and all that, and this was one of her goals for years. The record was broken a few months ago, but she still broke it for women, which is amazing. Just I mean, running a marathon is difficult and then pushing somebody, but not just the accolade, but knowing that she has that bond with her brother, that if anybody else push him, that it wouldn't work. Like, he wouldn't wanna do it or anything, just that bond
that they had. But also the personal trials and tribulations that she went through these past 3 years, it was intense. A lot of things, but just seeing the overall light shining again after going through the darkness. And she works with a lot of students that have disabilities, so has a nonprofit and all that. So just seeing her passion or ultimate passion to help people that are overlooked. And I learned so much from her as well because I have 2 cousins in my family that have mental disability,
but I haven't seen them in years. So it's if it's not within your vicinity, if it's not in your environment, then you're not really gonna think of it much. But I learned I learned so much that I was just unaware of. It was just very interesting because it really made me see things differently. More gratitude, humbled ourselves, but just really seeing that, wow, somebody is always going through something worse. We're not trying to undermine that our stress doesn't exist, but it's always
interesting to see. Like, you would never know because it's the most positive, brightest person. It's like, hey. Do you need anything? Pleasure to meet you. It's like always high energy. And then realizing, like, wow. Behind closed doors, there's a
1,000,000 things going on. So it was just amazing to see, like, how positive somebody could still be even though that they were boiling for months years on end because of some family and personal things, but just that light and seeing as a at a big picture, my favorite thing during the holidays is seeing clients post on social media and seeing their real smiles. Like, I you could always sense it. You see a old picture of yourself a
Facebook memory 4 years ago, you're like, oh, yeah. Me and my group of friends, I'm like, oh, I was in a dark place. I could see it in my eyes. I'm smiling, but that's not real. I know exactly how I felt that night or that day. So I could see that with my clients. And so holiday season, I love it because I can always sense what the real smile is, what the pride is, or if they're, like, crying, like, whatever it is, but I love seeing, like, where they're at because maybe this person
is now married or in their 1st relationship in years. Maybe this one is in a new home. Maybe this one was able to take their family on their 1st vacation just like all these things. And it's just amazing to see because thinking back, I'm like, wow. I remember day 1. He was just like, man, I just wanna do 225 on bench, and that that was the only goal. And then now he's married and has kids and all this stuff. So always seeing the journey and just seeing people happy and excited about life. So
it's it's amazing to see in in hindsight. Just seeing, like, somebody was inhaled, quote, unquote in a dark. We're very really close to giving up to them pushing and driving through, keeping their faith strong. And then now looking at them, it's like, wow, they're crushing it in every area and not taking all not taking everything that came from me, but working together as a team, it just inspires me. And I feel like that's what it's all about. If we can make a good positive impact,
we can create a positive ripple effect. Because if they see you in a in a good head space, they see her in a good head space, like, wow. They carry themselves in a different way, and that makes people wanna wanna join or just vibrate better as well. Because the same thing happens in reverse. We get around somebody in public. We're like, yeah. Let me let me stand in this other line. It they didn't even say anything. You could just feel
and sense their energy. You're like, alright. I'm a use that checkout line. So so you're you're a 3 time winner of, soldier of the year. Right? What what how has that influenced your leadership style and your coaching techniques? So it honestly was me overcoming that scared timid child. That's why I joined a lot of training schools and went to the board. Like, you don't have to compete for that, but I did it more so for myself. So being that scared teen, I had a fear of heights. I had a fear of
public speaking. I had many fears. It was just like crippling. So I knew that sports and fitness would help, but I knew deep down I needed to serve and, like, face a lot of other things, which would make me grow more than ever. So that's a huge factor of what drove it was just making that younger version proud. And so going to the board excuse me. Soldier of
the year, at least in the US Army, consists of 3 things. There's the physical fitness test and a lot of other physical tests outside of just the basic test. 2 is a written test. But keep in mind, you're dehydrated, sleep deprived, you're hungry. So, like, you're already physically, mentally tested. It's not just like, alright. You woke up, go to the cafeteria, eat, then take a test like college. You're you're
tested in many ways. And then the last 1 is you go to the board, which essentially means you pound on a door, the highest ranks tell you to come in, you stand at attention by a chair, and you just see a table of a row of the highest ranks, male, female, just like scolding you. And then they tell you what to do. You sit down, and they're just drilling you with questions. It's like a verbal test, but they try to throw you off because he might ask you something random
like, who won Super Bowl in 1998? And you're just like, what the hell does that have to do with anything? And then this person asked you about, in year 1942, what war or, like, what is this article? And then, like, they try to throw you off, but I love those environments because I would just think back to childhood and teenage years where I was like,
alright. Everything at home was worse than any of this, so bring it on. So I always thrived in the high pressure moments because I was always living in a pressured home. So, like, facing life, I was like, alright. This is can't get worse because I've heard the wildest shit ever and seen a lot of crazy stuff. So I was like, alright. I can take the drilling. So in the moments of feeling the pressure, I would just respect everyone, do the best of my abilities, and then afterward,
just feel pride that I gave my all. Even if 1 of the years I didn't get it, it was more so to make that younger version proud because he he could barely even walk straight or, like, form a sentence without being scared. So In your opinion, what are the key elements that differentiate surviving from thriving, and how do you install this in your clients? Great question. So I see it all as what do we take
away from the experience? Do we just take the pain, stress, anxiety, anger, and vices, and say, why me, god? Why does this happen? I don't know why this is happening. Is that what we're taking from it? Or do we pause and say, you know what? I did, and I still do occasionally feel these emotions from that memory, but I was able to see how strong I am, how good I can work with people, etcetera, etcetera, whatever that list is. So seeing what can we take from
the situation. Is it just a negative? Or we're not gonna pretend there's negative things don't exist, but is there something positive or empowering? Or maybe there's a skill set that we got from this experience. Because sometimes when we zoom out, people that are really good at what they do, they usually just went through a lot of stuff And life punched him in the face, kicked him in the balls, stabbed him in the gut a few times, and the next thing you know, they're like, that's why he's
good. No wonder he he or she does this. They peel back the layers, learn their life journey and story, and they're like, okay. They didn't just learn it from a textbook or they took a certification class or, like, they've been through some shit, and now they make it happen. Yeah. I I'm I'm I'm a prime example of that, man. I I was widowed at 31, and it was just 1 tragedy after another, reconnected my father only to lose him. I lost 2 brothers,
a aunt and uncle that helped raise me. And I was angry for many years. I was angry. I was like, what? I was in that mentality where why me? Why is why am I being punished? And and then when they it hit me like it's not you. Is this is this you're not being punished. This is this is just part of your journey. These these are lessons that you have to learn in life. These are things you have to go through in life. It's
not you're not being punished. You're not being picked, singled out by God. You're not be so it took me it took a few years for me to really get back to because it it's crazy. Because prior to my wife passing away, she had introduced me to to the world of self development. She introduced me to Tony Robbins, Louise Hayes. There's so many different other people, and and and
I it was her way of preparing me for what was to come. And at that at that time, I didn't, when it happened, I didn't look at it that way. But later on, after I went went through all the tragedies and everything, and I was struggling with just just struggling with the fact that it just thinking that why am I such a bad person that all this is happening? Yes. And it it it one day, it it really sort of voice something spoke to me and was like, this isn't your
life. You you're not being punished. It's not your fault. These are things you had no control over. They just happened. And and so when I when I started realizing that and I and I went and sought the help therapy and went to to speak to a professional because, you know, I'm I'm from a generation where we I'm I'm 47 years old. This is not something we would do. We this we didn't Oh, yeah. About our feelings. We didn't go to therapy, especially men. Men weren't allowed to I'm a Brazilian. You
crazy? What are you seeing a therapist for? Something wrong with you? Yeah. So it wouldn't so for me to really do that and go seek the help and speak to a therapist and and get my life back in order and and and and and really get back on that self development and and and really getting back into reading it and wanting to improve. It it's and
it's led me to doing my podcast. It's it's really helped me find my purpose because had I not gotten back to what I was to to the self development and and the coaching and all that, but I've been doing my podcast or or what I've been doing any of the things that I'm
doing now. So finding finding my purpose in in podcasting and and really going back getting really back into the self development and the coaching and and wanting and wanting to create content that because I could have easily went I could have easily done a podcast that focused more on stupid shit, more focused on shit that really people gonna click in because I'm in a niche that it's not easy. 100%. People will not Most people will pick the easy route. Will and Jada, Tom Brady, whoever,
Kobe versus LeBron. Like Yeah. There's good trending topics. That's what they pick, and it's like clickbait and but you definitely pick the right path because that connecting with people, it's it's one of the most amazing things. Yeah. Meeting good people that also have that fire in them, that have been through things, and seeing that people actually can have real conversations because it's so rare, especially as men, like you said. Yeah.
I I grew up the same way. It was like, suck it up. Don't be soft. Don't cry. Blah blah blah. And then the older I got, you start catching patterns, and the men in your family are men that you grew up around, you're like, alright. I think we all should have spoken because there's a lot of wild stuff that happened just by not releasing. We they release in a different way. But Yeah. It's always interesting in hindsight. You're like, that makes
sense. And then just us stepping up as men, speaking about it, opening up. A key thing I just wanna bounce off of this that it made me think of it is my senior year of high school, one of the most pivotal moments of my life. I'm 17 years old. I'm in my English composition class, and I'm writing. And then my teacher, he he could obviously read people. He knows the students. He's seen them for years, and he's like, hey, Derek. Let's go in the hallway. I was like, alright. He just wants to talk to
me. We go out there, and he's like, hey. I'm not gonna ask you a question about what's going on. I could tell there's a lot going on, but I just wanna tell you it's okay to be human. That's all he said. I looked at him. I like my knees buckled, and I cried in his arms for, like, 5 minutes. And that was the 1st time I cried in, like, 7 years at that time. And, like, he he could just see it. Like, I was just writing, doing my assignment, but he could just sense
my energies. Like, something's different with him, pulled me into the hallway and literally just said, it's okay to be human. And to this day, I say that in my head sometimes where I tell my male and female clients, hey. Sometimes you just need to release. Even if you're not even sad, you might be in the car and just be like, just grab the steering wheel and yell or just cry for 2 minutes. Release. Breathe. Gratitude. Thank you, god. Whatever somebody believes in,
reset, and keep going. Sometimes just releasing is one of the most powerful things because most people, they hold it in so long, and that's why the vices come in because they'll try to overshadow whatever that feeling is. But especially as men, if we could just release sometimes, we can reset, and then we start to make better decisions. But that that was a pivotal moment where something so simple, but hit powerful. And thinking back on, I'm like,
wow. If I would've had a video of that, I would've loved to see that just to see because I was I was not a crier at all, but at that time, he could just sense my energy. And nowadays, I feel like I got another skill from him was that you can sense even if it's a stranger in public. When you've been through a lot, you can see it and sense it in somebody else because you know what it feels like or you
know what they're going through. And then just being there for somebody. Let's say you're at a bus stop or at the airport, sitting anywhere in public and somebody comes up to you and just starts pouring out to you. They're just like, I don't know you, but someone's telling me to just and then all you did was listen. You didn't even say a word, and they're just like, thank you. They walk away. They leave, and then hours later, you're like, did that happen?
Was that a dream? Was that an angel? Like, sometimes you don't even know if it even happened, but it's an amazing moment because just giving people 2 things. Every human just wants to be heard and understood. If we can make somebody feel heard and understood, everything can start to come full circle. It's it's an amazing thing. Like, that's what I felt then, and that's what I try to give to other people. Make them feel heard, make them
feel understood, and then go from there. If I don't have the answers, I'm gonna find somebody that does. Yeah. So how do you approach healing as a life coach, and what strategies do you employ to guide the others in the healing journey? So the first thing that we that I like to focus on is, as I mentioned earlier, is first see what you can get rid of or replace with something better. Because if we have 2 individuals, 1 person, they may have been an athlete or
been in bands or anything competitive. Mhmm. And for them, it's a lot easier to add something onto their schedule or routine, but that's not most people. Most people, if you try to add on to their routine or tell them to open their pantry and say, hey. Throw away the first 3 shelves. Hey. I want you to buy this. I want you to wake up at
this time. It's too much. It's not gonna be sustainable. So first, if somebody can get rid of some things, they can open themselves up, and then they can slowly start to build and stack those wins. Hey. Tomorrow, he wants to get up 30 minutes earlier and not hit snooze 5 times. Hey. Tomorrow, she doesn't wanna buy another bottle of wine. Tomorrow, he wants to raise his hand 1st in class. Whatever those things are, but stacking wins and slowly building
a solid routine and that self trust. Because I truly believe self trust and self confidence all comes from stacking wins, which just means showing up for ourselves and no longer letting vices, procrastination, limited thinking, negative thinking, whatever those things are, hold us back or really make us second guess ourselves. So once that person starts to get in a more powerful, empowered state, then we could start the healing process at a deeper way because they're like, hey. I crushed my
morning routine. I haven't missed a workout in 3 weeks I haven't missed a social media post, whatever their thing is. And then once we start doing the inner work, it's way more effective because they've they've already showed themselves proof of how much progress they can make with just themselves rather than like, hey. Today's day 1. Tell me what happened when you were 14. Not everybody can do that where they're like, where the hell do I even start?
But if they already are in an empowered state and they feel some sense of pride and accomplishment, then it's way more effective because then they can look at things in a different perspective than just being a low state. Because when they're confident about, hey. 2 weeks straight, I've been doing x y z. They're excited. So when we talk about deeper topics, they can look at version 10 point o. They can look at present version, and then they can think back
of their past self. And they can stay neutral the whole time rather than catching them on a day where they're feeling really low. That's not the day to dig into the past, but definitely building that daily routine and that foundation is everything. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely right. What what role does resilience play in your coaching philosophy, and how do you help clients cultivate resilience? Great question. So with resilience, I just like to focus on
saying the statement in your head or out loud. People depend on me. People depend on me. Maybe they have kids. Maybe they have pets. Maybe the neighbor down the road always looks at them when they go walk. Maybe somebody online messages them randomly. It's like, hey, man. I see your posts. Thank you for what you do. I don't even know you, but I see your stuff. And they write, but there's always somebody watching.
Even if they don't think somebody is, there's always somebody watching. So if they can have the mentality that people depend on me in the key moments where they don't feel like doing something or with or when they're really stressed and they say, I don't really feel like making this post. I don't I don't feel like showing up to this conversation tomorrow for work. But if they can start to think of who depends on them because somebody does, then they start to get a rush.
And it's not that we're we're just trying to show up and give, give, give to others. We're not trying to people please. It's more so, hey. Let me take a breather. Let me reset. I need to reset real quick, but people depend on me because somebody out there needs to hear your message, needs to see his product, his skill, his
passion, needs to learn her life story, whatever it is. And I do believe that God has us all here for a reason, and that is to face whatever's happening, work through it, and then teach others how to do that thing as well even if it's not career. Because the best advice we ever got was from people that actually lived that thing. They can see it, and they can sense it. So the resilience is more so, can you keep going, and how is your reaction
to things? Yeah. Yeah. It's definitely, it is definitely something that peep you can build up. Like, for me, like I said, it was just 1 tragedy after another after another, and it's, it got to a point where it's like, man, how much more can I take? Like and and then and then I I really sit there and I looked at it, and I reflect on it, and I looked at my well, God couldn't if God wouldn't give me anything I couldn't handle. And so this this was my path. This was the path that I was
supposed to take. These things were supposed to happen and and be a part like, someone asked me, do I regret any of the stuff that happened? And my answer my answer shocked them because it was no. And they were like, why? I said, because I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. I wouldn't wish anyone to lose their wife. I wouldn't wish anyone to lose their father after reconnecting with them. I wouldn't wish them losing 2 brothers, and I I wouldn't wish that upon them, but
it was my path. This was this was the path chosen for me. And so if he didn't feel I could deal with it, he wouldn't have he wouldn't have put it in front of me. He wouldn't he wouldn't have set that obstacle in front of me. So for me, it's been it's been I look at I look at look at life completely different with everything that's happened, and I am grateful. Like, I I everything I've been through is also
prepared me for what I'm going through right now with my mom. Yes. It's helped me build that strength and that toughness within to have to deal with this and and because it's easy to to to see what state she's in and and really give up and really be like, oh, why me? Why is this happening? Why is instead of looking at it as, like, take these these moments that I do have with her and and cherish them and and make the most out of them. Exactly.
100%. And I'm glad that you that you can see those perspectives. A big thing that I work on a lot with my clients is I use the phrase perspective hopping, which is essentially what I mentioned earlier when you can paint a clear vision of who version 10.0 of you is, all of his traits and characteristics inside out relationships, career, podcasts, just everything about him, and then current version and then younger version.
And it's really interesting. People that can perspective hop and just see things from a different angle, they can stay neutral. They can be grateful for things. They can be proud of themselves, and then they can be excited about the future. But it helps those individuals not just be stuck in one zone where they can see just like you mentioned. Now you see the big picture because past you went through those things, and it's always amazing to be able to connect
the dots. And then sometimes even if we don't know what's next, it's just that faith can continuously just keep building. Mhmm. And it's some people speak faith just from church or just from a a biblical standpoint, but when it comes from faith to people that have been through real things, it's a I think that they have the strongest level of faith where it's not just Sunday service or anything else. Just like, hey. That was the only thing that they had at
some point. It was faith. Yeah. And and and I'm not a religious person. I'm not I'm not I'm not someone who goes to church, but I am a spiritual
person. I do look at at life different, and and, I I'm I'm I I I am grateful for everything that's going on in my life and that, like, I I'm blessed to be able to come in and do my podcast and and be able to to to share this message with other people and have you on the show, and you can share your story and share your message and and really make an impact on people's lives. And that's if and to me, it's people look at success as, oh, I I got 5,000,000 downloads.
I look at it as if I have to help 1 person and I've made an impact on their life, I am doing what I'm supposed to do. And I've and I've gotten those messages where I've I've made an impact on people's lives, and that to me is some of the most fulfilling parts of this. This is that's why I do it when I when I do receive those messages from people saying, man, I needed that episode. Thank you. I I needed to hear what that person had to say, or I needed to hear what you had to say. Whatever it was,
that to me is success. That to me is like like I said, if I've impact 1 person's life doing this, then I'm doing something right because now who knows who's who that person is going to impact? How many more people they're gonna how many more people's lives they're gonna change just from the fact that they heard something that on my podcast or heard something I said or whatever or heard something a guest said, and now they're like, yeah. No. That's why I try to help
other people. So it's a it's a ripple effect. Exactly. And that's the best thing about it is, like, that one golden nugget, that one perspective, that one thing that they needed, because we've been on the receiving end of that as well where we're confused, broken, lost, whatever situation we're in, and we just heard that one thing, and it just made something click. The light bulbs went off or the mind shifted, and we're like,
wow. That's that's what I needed to hear. But being able to give that to others, I totally agree that it's so fulfilling where I'll think back to childhood or other crazy nights and stuff I saw in the army, and then I'm like, wow. All of that is for a reason, and now
I'm here. And this person is excited, proud. They're holding their kids and whatever the situation is, and it just all makes sense in the moment where you're like, I don't know if I wanna cry and excitement for them, cry and excitement for myself, or, like, cry because the younger version is proud, but it's, it's it's good tears. So it it gives you chills. Love those moments. Definitely. Definitely. But, Derek, this has been great,
man. I I appreciate you coming on the show, but now is the time of the show where you get this the solo screen. You get to plug away, let people know where they can find you, everything. Alright. I appreciate it. Well, thanks again for having me, Will. But the easiest way to find me guys is on social media that is fit with Derek too. That's d e r I c k. And my coaching website is fit with Derek .com. On
there, I just like to show real people with real results. I have pictures and then also videos, and they just tell about their journey, where they were personally, spiritually, or professionally, and where they are now, and how the journey went for them. So the whole intent is to help people win so they're thriving, not just surviving. So they're thriving, not just surviving. And my whole intent with social
media is just to plant seeds. If you hit snooze 5 times every morning and you watch my videos, I'm gonna plant a seed and be in your head where you stop hitting snooze. It's my whole intent. Plant seeds, make you a little bit uncomfortable sometimes, but make you not waste any potential. I feel like that's what it's all about. Oh, I can't hear you. There we go. I'm going on
with you. There I go. So I will be putting a link to his website in the description, so definitely you can check out his website and check him out, follow him on on all social medias and everything. Thank you, Derek, man. This has been great, man. I appreciate it, Will. Thank you for having me, and thanks also for the transparency. It's rare for men to do this, and so what it's all about, man. Oh, no. Listen, man. This is what I this is what I love doing my podcast. But, we we were live. We
had some comments there. Mickey Delaney, he's from, from Washington state. He goes, hey, Will. Hi, Derek. How are you both? He wants to thank you for your service, Derek. And, I appreciate it, Mickey. Yeah. No. This this is another reason I do go live is because I I love the interaction. I love the fact that, people who leave comments, people who if something I say or my guest say, and they they feel it, they they they can share share their opinions on it. And so I I love that aspect of
it. But, man, thanks, Terry. This has been great. Don't leave just yet. Don't leave just yet. Let me close out the show and me and your child will be off air, but, man, thank you once again. This has been great. No problem. No problem. Alright. So, shout out to everybody who stopped by. Mickie Delaney. I don't know who it is, Facebook user, but thank you. Appreciate you. Shout out to my real wise fan, Papi j, Brandy j. Shout out
to the boss lady. Love you and appreciate you. Shout out to Derek Johnson for coming through and and sharing his story and and having a wonderful conversation with me. And as always, a big, big shout out to all the essential workers out there. God bless y'all. Be safe. You know how your boy, Wise, does it? Peace