Have you ever wondered what Picard would be like if someone pulled that Klingon pain stik out of his ass? Picard is chilling in his cabin when he is mysteriously beamed away to a room with four new friends, a seemingly random mix of aliens including a Starfleet cadet. While Picard attempts to get the quartet to work together and solve their escape room, his doppleganger commands the Enterprise! Riker and the crew become suspicious when the faux Picard starts giving dangerous orders, flirting wit...
Dec 02, 2022•54 min•Season 3Ep. 18
The officer exchange program is back, and this time, it’s the Enterprise playing host to a Klingon first officer, Commander Kurn, a hardass who tries to whip the crew into shape with some old fashion discipline. He leans hard on everyone except Worf, provoking a confrontation between them. When Worf lashes out, Kurn celebrates by announcing that he is Worf’s long-lost brother come to give him the news. It seems their father has been branded a traitor on the Klingon homeworld for betraying his ra...
Nov 18, 2022•1 hr 4 min•Season 3Ep. 17
Data turns “Take your Daughter to Work Day” into “Make Your Daughter at Work Day”! Data’s always trying to be a better android who wants to be a person. He’s tried his hand at comedy, whistling, detectiv-ing, and making love to women-ing. Now, this crazy robot wants to understand what it’s like to be a dad! Data returns from a cybernetics conference with a positronic brain full of new ideas! Our favorite android tells his pals that he can transfer his neural network into another being! An offspr...
Nov 04, 2022•57 min•Season 3Ep. 16
While the Enterprise D is chilling in space, a temporal rift opens before them and out pops the Enterprise C, heavily damaged from a losing battle with the Romulans! In an instant, everything changes as the older ship’s appearance creates a whole new timeline where the Federation is at war with the Klingon Empire. Only Guinan notices the changes, and she tries to convince Picard that things just ain’t right. For one, remember Tasha Yar? Well, she’s back, baby, alive and well and wearing a belt –...
Oct 20, 2022•1 hr 3 min•Season 3Ep. 15
Riker is accused of murdering a great scientist, and Picard demands trial by Holodeck! After an orbiting science lab explodes over Tanuga IV, the Tanugan investigator Krag demands Riker be extradited to the planet for interrogation. Not keen on the idea, Picard demands Riker be interrogated aboard the Enterprise to save the production a great deal of money by keeping everything on board. While the testimony of different witnesses plays out on the holodeck, the Enterprise finds itself the victim ...
Oct 06, 2022•43 min•Season 3Ep. 14
When the moon hits your eye, then you all gonna die! That’s a red alert for the Enterprise! Bre’el IV’s moon is crashing into the planet, and while the Enterprise struggles to prevent this, Q pops in naked as an Aldeberran Jay bird! It seems that the Q continuum has stripped our Q of his powers, rendering him mortal. Jean-Luc palms Q off to Data to deal with while he drinks tea in his quarters and tells Geordi to accomplish a miracle with that pesky moon. With Q’s help, the crew is able to make ...
Sep 21, 2022•1 hr 4 min•Season 3Ep. 13
Today’s lesson: killing is bad. In case that’s not clear to you, Dr. Beverly Crusher and her best friend Captain Johnny will explain it to you in painful, painful detail when they get embroiled in yet another society divided by bloodshed. After all the fun we had with the Acamarians and the Gatherers, with the Angosians and their exiled veterans, we get the Rutians and the Ansata. It seems the Ansata want their independence, and the Rutians are like all, not happening, brochacho. This leads to t...
Sep 09, 2022•1 hr 1 min•Season 3Ep. 12
Cue “All Around the Watchtower '' as TNG goes all “Apocalypse Now” on us. The Enterprise is evaluating Angosia III for membership in the federation when their own version of Martin Sheen, Roga Danar, decides to go AWOL and steals a ship only to end up facing off with the flagship of the Federation. After a merry chase, they manage to beam him aboard and wrestle him into submission. While Danar languishes in detention, Troi gets a whiff of his pain, and seeing that he’s a fine specimen of man mea...
Aug 25, 2022•1 hr 8 min•Season 3Ep. 11
So the Enterprise is just tooling along when a sudden visitor from the Romulan Neutral Zone arrives. It’s a Romulan scout ship with a Warbird in hot pursuit! The scout’s passenger seeks asylum aboard the Enterprise. As Picard orders the scout ship enclosed in the Enterprise’s shields, the Warbird shrugs and heads back into Romulan space. The passenger ends up being something as rare as a Ferengi with straight teeth: a Romulan defector! He claims to have vital information about a secret Romulan b...
Aug 09, 2022•52 min•Season 3Ep. 10
The Enterprise discovers a Federation outpost has been all torn up, and the lovely Beverly Crusher uses a blood sample left behind to track down the attackers. It’s those pesky Gatherers, a rebellious offshoot of the Acamarians. Picard gets it into his bald little head that he can solve this whole problem by dragging Marouk, Sovereign of Acamar, into peace talks with the Gatherers. Sounds reasonable enough except the Gatherers are rowdy, mullet-sporting goofballs who enjoy Mad Max cosplay, and M...
Jul 29, 2022•52 min•Season 3Ep. 9
Ready for excitement? Adventure? Going boldly and all that? Well, too bad because the Enterprise D is busy hosting negotiations over access to a supposedly stable wormhole. Little do they know, one of the negotiators is ¼ Betazoid, the smarmy Devononi Ral, a professional player who has his eyes set on another prize as well, our beloved Counselor Troi. Ral and Troi engage in a tepid affair while Paramount dives into its archive of cloying background music. Hijinks ensue as the Ferengi crash the n...
Jul 15, 2022•53 min•Season 3Ep. 8
Another flipping distress call brings the Enterprise D to the charming and scenic Galorndon Core. While electromagnetic storms rage, Riker, Worf, and Geordi beam down to the site of the call and discover the wreckage of a Romulan ship. Worf then stumbles across an injured Romulan survivor while Geordi stumbles down a whacking huge hole! Riker and Worf are forced to beam back up with the Romulan leaving Geordi to fend for himself on the hostile planet. Then guess what happens! The Enterprise inte...
Jun 30, 2022•53 min•Season 3Ep. 7
So the Enterprise stumbles on to what remains of an ancient battle in space, and Picard gets all giddy when they find an old starship from the battle still intact. He beams over with Worf and Data, and they find out the ship was incapacitated by a booby trap that drained its energy and killed all the crew. Good thing that can’t happen to the Enterprise, right? RIGHT?! Of course it does, and before you know it, the Enterprise crew is in grave danger. Geordi is tasked with escaping the snare, and ...
Jun 03, 2022•1 hr•Season 3Ep. 6
The Enterprise crew is exploring an uninhabited planet when ship archeologist Marla Aster is killed by an explosive device, leaving behind her son, Jeremy. As head of the away team, Worf feels responsible for the boy and wishes to bond with him (hence the title of the episode) while the rest of the crew is in their feelings over the whole thing. The emotional stew bubbles over when Marla suddenly appears alive and well and wanting to take Jeremy down to the planet to live. It’s a galaxy class cu...
Jun 03, 2022•56 min•Season 3Ep. 5
The Enterprise is headed to Mintaka III to deliver supplies and repair a failing, faulty reactor belonging to a bunch of Federation scientists who have been studying the natives. Seems harmless enough until the reactor starts going cattywampus just before it goes kablooey, blowing up their hidden observation post. Wouldn’t ya know it? A couple of Mintakians just happen to be passing by and see the newly visible “duck blind” just as the Away Team is fixing stuff and people. One of the Mintakians,...
May 19, 2022•1 hr•Season 3Ep. 4
Our Enterprise D gets a distress call from Delta Rana IV and when they get there, they find the planet wiped clean of its inhabitants save one small swatch of land and house where the last two inhabitants of the planet have survived. Before Picard and crew can say “what the fuck is going on?” Counselor Troi is stricken with a musical melody that she just can’t get out of her head. An away team goes planet-side to assess the last patch of Delta Rana and find Kevin and Rishon Uxbridge just trying ...
May 05, 2022•58 min•Season 3Ep. 3
Somebody is always commanding when it comes to Starfleet, despite what the Great Bird thought, and of course it’s Picard, no, wait – it’s Number One! No, no, actually, it’s Data! There’s so much God-damned commanding! The Enterprise rolls up on a planet colonized by Earthies but wrongly so and their task is to remove these colonizers before the rightful heir of the planet (the Sheliak) show up to put down roots. For some reason Data alone is sent down to tell the inhabitants of Tao Signa Five th...
Apr 22, 2022•44 min•Season 3Ep. 2
It’s season three of a show where a bunch of people are flying around the galaxy doing shit, like watching a dying star collapse! That’s right, another dying star! Season three starts as everyone’s favorite, a Wesley episode. A Wesley episode? At least the season doesn’t start with someone getting impregnated by a wayward entity! Dr. Paul Stubbs is onboard to witness the stellar explosion when the Enterprise begins to go wickity wack for an unknown reason. Just as the head-scratching begins, a y...
Apr 06, 2022•51 min•Season 3Ep. 1
The Borg are invading the Federation, and when their initial assault fails, they travel back to the past to sabotage Earth’s first warp drive flight in hopes of preventing . . . First Contact! Yes, First Contact, when humanity came face to face with beings from another world. The Enterprise crew pursues the Borg to thwart their thwarting, and end up with a ship full of pesky cyborgs! While Riker, Geordi, and Troi work feverishly to make sure Zefram Cochrane makes his historic warp flight, Picard...
Mar 24, 2022•1 hr 9 min•Season 2Ep. 24
The Enterprise D and crew are back for all of season two, starting with entity impregnation and ending with brain infestation. Picard, Riker, Troi, Data, Geordi, Worf, Guinan, Wesley Crusher and new Doctor, Kate Pulaski are boldly exploring strange new worlds, which mostly exist on the Holodeck, they’re meeting new life, like the shape shifting Salia in the Dauphine , or Mick Fleetwood as a giant fish in Manhunt . They’re encountering new civilizations alright — have you seen where the Borg keep...
Mar 11, 2022•52 min•Season 2Ep. 23
We’ve seen the second in command of the U.S.S. Enterprise get zapped for the last two seasons, and in this episode Riker gets zapped into unconsciousness by a plant. Talk about Zap ass! Believe it or not, the season ender of the second season of a fairly successful show decides to end the season with a god damn clip show! A clip show like on the Brady Bunch, or Three’s Company, or MASH, or name your 1970’s show that didn’t do this. Riker is asleep and fighting against a poison that threatens his...
Feb 25, 2022•50 min•Season 2Ep. 22
“Shall we play a game?” (Said in computer voice, please). Concerned about crew readiness since their run in with the Borg, as he should be, Picard arranges for a training exercise that pits him and the Enterprise against Riker at the helm of a rickety old starship, The Hathaway. Riker and a crew of 40 including Geordi, Worf, and Crusher, are overmatched, but are determined to give the Enterprise a run for its quatloos . Sounds like fun, except the whole thing is overseen by a Starfleet observer,...
Feb 10, 2022•1 hr 4 min•Season 2Ep. 21
Starfleet orders the Enterprise to meet up with an emissary who will give them a vital mission, and before you know it, they have a class-8 probe aboard filled with a half-human, half-Klingon named K’Ehleyr. She informs the crew that they need to intercept a ship full of sleeping Klingons from Star Trek the Motion Picture era, who think they’re still at war with the Federation and stop them from blowing up a starbase or two. That seems simple enough except K’Ehleyr has history with Worf! Never o...
Jan 27, 2022•1 hr•Season 2Ep. 20
Special visitors arrive on the Enterprise! We get two hibernating fish delegates, Mr. Homm, and his boss, a very sexed-up Betazoidian ambassador — Dame Majel Barrett. That’s right, Diana Troi’s mom: Lwaxana Troi is back, and boy is she horny! Lwaxana sets her eyes on Picard as a mate forcing Jean Luc to space-skedaddle into the Holodeck. On Holodeck, Picard gets to play Dixon Hill again as Lwaxana hunts for her next man: Number One! All this and fish assassins played by a member of Fleetwood Mac...
Jan 14, 2022•1 hr 1 min•Season 2Ep. 19
Starfleet tasks the Enterprise to respond to a distress signal from a forgotten Earth colony endangered by those darn solar flares. Picard and company have no choice but to beam the colony aboard to relocate them, and lo and behold, the colony is filled to the barrelhead with Irish stereotypes and farm animals. When the leader of the Bringlodi, Daniel Odell, asks about their fellow colony, the Enterprise discovers Mariposa, a colony populated with clones! Mariposa teeters on the brink of extinct...
Dec 30, 2021•57 min•Season 2Ep. 18
Picard and Wes are both due at Starbase 515; Wes for more Starfleet exams, and the captain for a medical procedure he’s too proud to have done on the Enterprise D, a replacement of his artificial heart. Wait, Picard has an artificial heart? While he and Wes shuttle across the galaxy to their various appointments, Riker and company answer a mayday from a disabled ship crewed by a race who appear to be offensive stereotypes of people with intellectual disabilities. After a brief exchange with the ...
Dec 16, 2021•48 min•Season 2Ep. 17
The Enterprise is tooling along when new ensign Sonya Gomez spills cocoa on Jean-Luc, and to add insult to second degree injury, Q kidnaps Jean-Luc in an attempt to get the captain to let Q join the Enterprise crew because, according to Q, they need him. Q returns Jean-Luc to the Enterprise and is surprised to discover Guinan Goldberg aboard. It appears these two have history, but we’ll have to save that for another time because to prove his point, Q snaps the Enterprise 7,000 light years deeper...
Dec 02, 2021•1 hr 4 min•Season 2Ep. 16
So the Enterprise is checking out some volatile planets, and Riker thinks it would be a good opportunity for Wesley to learn how to run a team, so they put him in charge of rock surveys. Wes gets all sweaty overthinking the job and how to deal with commanding people older than he. As all this is going on, Data single-handedly decides the Prime Directive is for suckers, and answers a call from a little girl on Drema 4, a planet on the verge of exploding. Picard pops a vein as Data’s actions creat...
Nov 19, 2021•52 min•Season 2Ep. 15
Will Riker is leaving the Enterprise? He’s going to be captain of his own ship and go on a dangerous mission far, far away? Dang, didn’t see that coming. Wait, the father he hasn’t seen for 15 years is coming aboard to brief him on the mission? And Riker’s dad and Pulaski were lovers? No way! Did you hear Worf is acting cranky and anti-social? Well he is. All this and a maintenance crew from Starbase Montgomery is pouring over engineering in search of a possible flaw! What a mess! I sure hope Pi...
Nov 05, 2021•1 hr 4 min•Season 2Ep. 14
While on their merry way to some place called Endicor , the Enterprise encounters a Starfleet shuttlecraft floating dead in space. They tractor beam it onboard only to discover it’s one of their own shuttles, the El Baz ! But wait, the El Baz never left! There’s two of them! How weird can this get? Well, strap in because inside the second shuttle is a whole other Jean-Luc Picard! How is that possible? The second JLP isn’t talking because he’s comatose and unresponsive to treatment. After some in...
Oct 20, 2021•53 min•Season 2Ep. 13
