Courtney Ustrzycki (00:00):
When you go into the gym, the goal should be to seek failure. That is the place where failure is the goal. We don't want to step on stage and fail, or we don't want to go somewhere else and fail. But in the gym, that's how we grow. So if you go into the gym and you're not seeking failure, like actively seeking to fail and not achieve what you need to do, I don't think you're growing.
Michelle MacDonald (00:32):
Welcome to Stronger ByDesign. I'm your host Michelle MacDonald. And today's guest is Courtney Ustrzycki, who I've known for years long before she stepped on stage. She's not only a friend and a colleague, but someone I've watched evolve into a top IF BBB athlete and a respected posting coach in the bodybuilding space. In this episode, we talk about what that evolution really looked like behind the scenes. Courtney shares how stepping away from powerlifting and into bodybuilding challenged her identity, pushed her through patterns of self-sabotage, forced her to grow in ways she didn't expect. This conversation is for any woman navigating growth doubt or high level goals. You'll walk away with a clear understanding of what it takes to stay committed through change. Insight into how mindset, not motivation drives progress, and a reminder that vulnerability and discipline can coexist if you're serious about your goals, but feel stuck in your own way. This one's for you. All right, everybody, welcome to the show. Wait a minute, Courtney, you got to help me with your last name.
Courtney Ustrzycki (01:40):
Always. This is why I was like Courtney for life. Courtney Ustrzycki.
Michelle MacDonald (01:44):
Courtney Ustrzycki.
Courtney Ustrzycki (01:45):
Exactly. It's so easy.
Michelle MacDonald (01:47):
Oh my God. Alright, that's going to go in the show. Courtney Ustrzycki,
(01:55):
Okay. Welcome to the show. I'm so glad to have you here. We met, when did we meet? What year?
Courtney Ustrzycki (02:00):
It was either the end of 2017 or the beginning of 2018
Michelle MacDonald (02:05):
And we met in Mexico. And why did we meet? Why did we meet?
Courtney Ustrzycki (02:08):
So I reached out to you when I was coming to Mexico because I saw you as you and JJ as Canadians, and you were into the power lifting thing and I'm like, oh my God, it's white people. I need to connect with you. And I don't know what actually, if it was like that Instagram message or something that got us connected, but here we are.
Michelle MacDonald (02:31):
Must have been. And we probably ate tacos together.
Courtney Ustrzycki (02:33):
Yes, many tacos
Michelle MacDonald (02:35):
Together. We all love tacos. And you're the taco Queen. Well, that's so much. That's eight years. We've known each other for eight years and I'm really excited to have you here. You've just been through such massive evolution, which you should be, which women should be going through massive evolution as you've grown into your passions. So when we first met, you were completely into powerlifting. Did you have your app, your lifestyle app?
Courtney Ustrzycki (03:06):
No, that wasn't even a thought,
Michelle MacDonald (03:09):
So that wasn't even a thought. So you were escaping the cold, you landed, you were into powerlifting, you were already doing macros, correct?
Courtney Ustrzycki (03:17):
Yeah, I've been doing macros for 15 years, probably a little bit more than that. Same, I've been doing it definitely for a long time. Same with So yeah, the whole power lifting and eating well and nourishing your body and not being as focused on what it looks like, but how it performs.
Michelle MacDonald (03:36):
And this is going to be interesting because I know that you love meal plans when people are in contests prep, so we're going to talk about that a little bit. So I mean, you've just been through so much change and I know we were talking kind of offline about switching from what if to why not? We were always into bodybuilding contest prep coaching. That was our bread and butter. That's what we do. We coach athletes to the stage and we love competing ourselves. But when I met you, you were like, Nope, that's not for me. I'm not interested in that.
Courtney Ustrzycki (04:08):
I was
Michelle MacDonald (04:09):
So against it.
Courtney Ustrzycki (04:09):
Tell me about that. I was so against the whole bodybuilding thing.
Michelle MacDonald (04:12):
Why? Can you remember?
Courtney Ustrzycki (04:14):
I obviously didn't understand it and bodybuilding even 15 years ago when I first started going to the gym, I saw girls competing and I vividly remember this one girl at the gym and she was like, I needed to get fake boobs in order to compete. And she was just dieting and skinny and she was like, there was all these stories about just inappropriate things that were happening and that it was like, oh, it wasn't nice. There was nothing appealing about it. And it wasn't even about the muscle or the shape, it was just this, not even a sex pageant, but it wasn't what I thought it was a sex pageant. I'm sure there are some either federations or certain parts in the world where it is kind of just not right. And that just did not appeal to me. I'm like, I don't want to be put on stage and stick my butt out to these guys who don't know me and just be completely judged and have my body torn apart. I'm like, I don't need that. And that's why I got into power lifting. I wanted to focus on what my body could do, not just what it looked like. So I wanted to kind of go around the route of body, just morphine as much as possible.
Michelle MacDonald (05:27):
And plus you're in a singlet, so you're pretty covered up versus a little bikini,
Courtney Ustrzycki (05:32):
Just a little bit more.
Michelle MacDonald (05:35):
So what changed your mind?
Courtney Ustrzycki (05:39):
I was very vain and I thought competing was That's
Michelle MacDonald (05:44):
In the past you were very vain. You're not vain anymore.
Courtney Ustrzycki (05:47):
I have been humbled. I thought doing a bodybuilding competition was going to be easy. And the reason why I ended up doing the first competition. So obviously living in Mexico, there's not that many bodybuilding or there's not that many power lifting competitions. And really the only bodybuilding competitions were in the federation. So in the Mexican or the European version. And even though there's only one power lifting competition a year, I'm like, well, what else can I do? And I don't know if you remember, but I'd reached out to JJ at one point and I was like, I want to learn how to do the bodybuilding posing. And I was doing the LAD spread and stuff like that because there's a competition that was supposed to happen. It never happened in the states. And it was one day power lifting and one day bodybuilding, and it was this perfect hybrid.
(06:36):
And still to this day I'm like, this is amazing. Where it's like you show off what your body looks like, but then also how it performs. And I'm like, this is the best of both worlds. And I thought it was amazing. So I was prepping for that. That ended up following through, which I was so upset about, and I'm like, well, I kind of like this whole posing body strong physique thing. Maybe I can do it. So I didn't want to commit to anything too big. I thought it was going to be easy. I'm like, oh, I'm strong. I can go on there. I already look good. I'm eating a lot of food. I'm eating 500 grams of carbs every day. I'm really strong. I can just walk out in a bikini and win.
Michelle MacDonald (07:12):
Oh, and what happened?
Courtney Ustrzycki (07:14):
I won. I won my class, which was great.
Michelle MacDonald (07:17):
Oh, you did win. That's great.
Courtney Ustrzycki (07:19):
But when I did that, it was so much more than just like, oh my God, I won. I knew I could do it. I was like, this was hard. It was very different and it was challenging, but it also encouraged me to be like, well, if I can do that, what else can I do? And there was a couple of years. So it started to evolve. It started to create these little thoughts in my head, well, what else can I do? And just kind of push almost my limiting beliefs. I never thought I could do it. And I stepped on stage and I did it, but I was still dancing back and forth between the power lifting and the body buildings. I'm like, oh, I can do both. I started thinking, oh, I can do all of this, which I was humbled and I realized I can't do both if I wanted to get really good at it. Right?
Michelle MacDonald (08:03):
Yeah,
Courtney Ustrzycki (08:03):
Exactly. Yeah. So from there, it all evolved into what it is
Michelle MacDonald (08:09):
Now. You were still coaching lifestyle clients at this time, correct?
Courtney Ustrzycki (08:12):
Yeah. Up until even less than a year ago, I was doing lifestyle. I was almost discouraging my clients from competing because I worked on the mindset. I was working on the mindset and the personal stuff so much where I'm like, bodybuilding looks really cool on social media, but it's hard. And a lot of the people and this a lot of lifestyle clients, they want balance. They want to be able to go out and track their macros and have flexibility in this food freedom and stuff and not be so strict and rigid in routine. But unfortunately, if you want to be really good at bodybuilding, there's a lot of sacrifices or not even, I don't like calling them sacrifices. I like calling them investments because there is a return and there is a reward and a payoff. And a lot of people who are seeking balance, you're not going to get that in bodybuilding, especially if you want to get really good at it.
Michelle MacDonald (09:09):
So for you then, because I remember you really one of your big messages from the powerlifting world and Courtney for life, that phase in your life was about balance. So what happened there?
Courtney Ustrzycki (09:25):
Now I'm like, there is no balance. So I realized that I wanted to pretend that I was the kind of person that could do both, that could be a really strong powerlifter and a really good bodybuilder competitor as well, because I saw other people doing it and I was like, well, if they can do it, then I can do it too. And the more that I started competing and prepping, and then, so I did my first show in 2019 in the federation. I transitioned into NPC and I was going to do my first competition in 2020. But of course that didn't happen. And I realized the more that I started getting into it, and I'm like, I can't have this balance. There's little ways that I can do better and be better. And unfortunately that means something's got to go, which means I couldn't maybe go out as many times as I wanted to with my friends, and I couldn't go out dancing and tacos unfortunately had to take a little bit of a backseat.
(10:17):
And there were other things that had to have priorities. But I realized that as I started doing more competitions and started doing those things more, the payoff was happening. So I was seeing that I have balance in my life right now, but that's not balance for other people because I'm in a bubble. I'm in my competing world and nothing else comes outside of that. So this is my own balance. But for lifestyle, if I want to have a big social life and go out with friends all the time, I can't personally do that because I just don't have that ability. And some people have that ability to be able to go out and be super flexible, but even there's a time where things do need to get dialed in. And for me, I just need to dial in a lot more.
Michelle MacDonald (11:03):
So for you now, because now you're coaching people for you, is it in your perspective, is it your personal choice that you see yourself being more successful and the bar's super high for you? You're very competitive athlete, it completely transformed your physique. It's incredible. Just I'm so happy for you. But is it your perspective that for you you need to be a lot stricter or that you need to really double down on your non-negotiables, but maybe you coach people that you see are able to have a bit more flexibility? Can you unpack that a little bit?
Courtney Ustrzycki (11:43):
I find it would be the whole people have good genetics where some people can just have that little bit of freedom or looseness or whatever. For me, I like to think what happens if I go all in? And yes, I do have to be extreme and dial that up a little bit, but I would absolutely hate to step on stage and I say this all the time to my clients and it really resonates with them that I would hate to step on stage and being like, man, maybe if I didn't go out as many times or maybe if I just prioritized my cardio, I could have won. So for me, I like to find out basically what the end of the spectrum is in terms of going extreme and dialing things up. And every single time I do that, I see a payoff from it. I have never been like, you know what? I probably don't need to be that intense with my diet, or I don't need to be that intense with my cardio because I never want to step on stage thinking, yeah, I probably could have done better.
Michelle MacDonald (12:45):
Yeah, I love that. Do you find on social media, of course there's very conflicting messages. I don't know if you've had this, but I'm dealing with this right now where my clients are saying, gosh, I see this girl, she's eating more, but she's losing weight. And I thought, wow, I wish I had a coach that kid give me in a caloric surplus and I could go win a show. So do you have to deal with that with clients where they're very confused about what hard looks like getting ready for a
Courtney Ustrzycki (13:18):
Show? Of course, we only see the highlights on social media. For me, that's for you. Even if we post vulnerable things, it's choosing to show that, right? We're still in control when we share those things. And whenever a client comes to me and maybe they'll share a video and be like, well, they can do this. Or even, well, what about their posing? I want to do that too and be like, let's explore that, but let's unpack it a little bit more. So I like to have, instead of being the coach who's just like, no, follow your program. I want to talk with my clients about it and being like, these are the options and this is why I think this is the best approach. I don't know everything. I'm still very new at this whole coaching thing when it comes to competition prep and knowing what options we have to dial things in and different, there's 1,001 different protocol that we can implement.
(14:08):
So what I know is only based on what I know, whether it's my own experience or my own learning, but there's still 900 other ways to do things. So I don't like to be the coach that just says, just follow your program. But whenever a client brings something to me, I'm like, let's have a conversation about it. Let's see. And then let's kind of look at the pros and cons. And maybe there is a time where we can do a little bit of trial and error. And I'm always open with my clients and I'm like, I don't know all the answers, but this is what I know. What do you think about that? So I really like calling it collaboration with my clients. So yes, I am the coach. Yes, I am guiding
Michelle MacDonald (14:46):
Them. I use that same word.
Courtney Ustrzycki (14:48):
I like to talk back and forth, and I like to have, we're both here. I never think that I'm here. I think that we're both here. And that's also that I'm not lowering myself, but I'm raising the bar for them. So their goals are just as important as my goals. So when they step on stage, I envision myself stepping on stage and I'm sure it's the same thing for you.
Michelle MacDonald (15:06):
Beautiful. I freaking love that. Keep that bar high and encourage them and show them how they can raise the bar as well. I think collaboration is so important. Education is just so key to me. I think I probably spent a half an hour educating one gal about there's no secret, there's no magic to weight loss. It's calorie deficit and just, yeah. So I think that's all great coaching is making sure that your clients hopefully are getting an education, why they're doing something. And absolutely, if there's a time and a place to trial things out, then go for it. But there is also an issue with a lot of misinformation being circulated. And Jay and I shake our heads continuously. We think, gosh, it would be so easy for me to cherry pick a client that gets ready for a show on 350 grams of carbs. I can think of one of my gals just, she has a metabolism like a hummingbird. She's in her sixties and literally on stage eating 350 grams of carbs. But then I have other gals, especially my gals, that can really put on muscle easily. They respond so well to low carbs and in fact, they wouldn't be able to dial in on a higher carb approach. So we really see that spectrum
(16:23):
And we just roll our eyes.
Courtney Ustrzycki (16:25):
Same thing. I'm sure you've been through, and I've been through that too in my shows last year. I was eating, going into my shows, 500 grams of carbs. I'm like, I'm going to explode on stage. I can't. But the body changes every single time. And I think there's also, and I know that there's also a time where a time and a place where it's like, okay, well let's talk about this. But then other times, if clients close to a competition and all these sods where it's like decision fatigue and the prep goggles come on where it's just like, do you trust me? Yes. Follow the program. Don't ask questions. Just turn your brain off and execute. Get off social media.
Michelle MacDonald (17:03):
Yeah, get off social media.
Courtney Ustrzycki (17:04):
It's so distracting.
Michelle MacDonald (17:06):
Yeah. So I'd love to talk about the reality of growth. I mean always say choose your heart. I always say change happens outside of the comfort zone, and that makes a great slogan on a t-shirt. But the reality of it is so uncomfortable and people often quit when it starts to get hard. So I'd love to pick your brain on that. I'd love to hear your perspective.
Courtney Ustrzycki (17:35):
Growth is messy and yeah, it's so uncomfortable. I know that before when we were talking about this, we were talking about vulnerability. I want to mention that vulnerable, the secret to good growth is, or true growth, I really think it's being vulnerable and it's not just about showing up, but showing what's beneath the surface, which is what we talked about. And it's so hard. Brene Brown, I'm going to kind of tie, of course, I feel like everybody knows her. If you don't know her, you're living under a rock. But in one of her books, she was talking about we can't be courageous without being vulnerable because we need to, we get outside of our comfort zone. And when we're outside of our comfort zone, it's like standing outside and you're naked and you're like, oh my gosh. And growth and vulnerability. It's messy and it's icky, and we don't like that feeling. And oftentimes we're like, yeah, I'll be vulnerable, but only a little bit. I'll stand outside naked, but only if it's pitch black at midnight and nobody can see me. And that's not where the true growth happens. We have to be okay at failing multiple times. And I think there's so much strength in that as well.
Michelle MacDonald (19:01):
When did you ever feel, and this journey of bodybuilding, when did you ever feel like quitting? When was it too hard? When did you think, this is too hard? I can't do it?
Courtney Ustrzycki (19:11):
So many. During my first prep, I remember I was doing cardio. I had to go to the gym every morning. And I remember I have done preps where I've recorded everything and you can go on my YouTube and you see me. I've recorded everything. And then there's some where I did not, no way. I love that because I'm like, I just need to buckle in. But I remember doing the first prep and it was fun because I was recording it and making an event for it or making a show for it. But then there were times where I'm like, what am I doing? This is insane. Why am this is hard and this is uncomfortable, and I feel disgusting and sweating and I'm going on stage and I don't feel good. And I remember going into my first show the night before, I was by myself and my coach is have a cheat meal.
(19:55):
I'm like, what even is a cheat meal? I have so many food allergies, I can't have cheat meals. And I was just like, this is too much. And I think the fact when I'm still not fluent in Spanish and me competing in a foreign country, I felt more alone than I probably could have ever felt. And I had friends and I had my coaches and I had my boyfriend at the time that was helping me and supporting me and stuff. But my friends that were here, they didn't really get it. So I really felt alone, and that continued in preps. But then I just learned, in my opinion, I think it's almost better to do it alone because you don't have so many distractions. But obviously that comes with experience. But there are so many times that I wanted to quit. Like this is hard. It would be so much easier. I don't have to prove anything. I'm not doing competing for my business. Even up until last year, I was trying to keep them so separate, and I had so much unintentional resistance between these two where I'm like,
Michelle MacDonald (20:59):
How did you talk yourself through it?
Courtney Ustrzycki (21:01):
With the resistance of coaching,
Michelle MacDonald (21:04):
With the doubt, with wanting to quit or wanting
Courtney Ustrzycki (21:08):
To get up. I have used my coach, he's been my coach, Humberto, he's been my coach for the whole prep. Him and I have become really, really good friends as well. And obviously there's a time and a place, we have our different hats to know when we're friends and when we're coaches and clients and stuff. And there have been many times that I've talked to him and I'm like, dude, I don't know. And there's never been a time where I've said, I want to quit and I'm done. Because he would show me the door. He'd be like, okay. But there's a lot of times of self-doubt. And that self-doubt is basically self-sabotage. I'm not good enough. I don't want to step on stage and lose, but if we don't step on stage and lose, we don't deserve to step on stage and win. That's not how we grow.
(21:54):
And he is like, you don't have to compete. And I remember there were times where he is, if you don't want to do this, we don't have to compete. You didn't sign your contract to do the show, you don't have to do it. And I'm like, well, wait a minute. I want to do it, but I want you to hold my hand and tell me it's going to be okay. And yes, we can have people holding our hands when we're being vulnerable and when we're growing and stuff, but ultimately there comes a point where it's just you just got to push yourself off the ledge and figure it out along the way. And I feel like my whole competing experience has been breaking through little levels of self-sabotage and limiting beliefs, which I never thought I had because I'm like, I've never been a person to sabotage.
(22:39):
I don't think I've, I've never been a person to binge, or I don't even want to call them cheat meals because I developed a really good relationship with food before I started competing, and I made sure I had that locked in. So food is food for me, and I'm just like, whatever. I don't even care. And I'm very grateful for that. But there would be little things where, and I really tapped into these, it was in 2023, so right after I got my pro card in 2022 and then 2023, I'm going into my pro debut and all the self-sabotage. I'm like, I'm not good enough. Am I a pro? Do I deserve to be there now I'm going to start competing internationally. This was big for me. And there was, I vividly remember, I could close my eyes and imagine myself. I was in the gym, I was doing hip thrusts and I was like, and it was all of a sudden just this universal download that came into my head and all these little things where I'm like, I have three sets of 15. If I stop at 15 or tell myself I'm done at 15, because that's hard. I'm like, I'm limiting myself. What if I do one more? What if I do one more? What if I did that one better? What if instead of just going over my macros by one gram, what if I dial that in a little bit more? And it was all these little things. And from an outside perspective, it's obsessive. And it's obsessive because I'm so passionate about it.
Michelle MacDonald (24:03):
Greatness is always going to seem obsessive to other people
Courtney Ustrzycki (24:05):
And I love it. So there's all these moments of vulnerability and self-sabotage and breaking barriers and breakdowns and being like, oh my God, this is crazy. And I always like to think that right when I'm having a breakdown or a burnout or something, the breakthrough is coming right afterwards. So I'm like, it's okay. It's okay if you're feeling that resistance, it's okay because you're pushing against that door and that door's going to open in a minute, but you just can't let up on it.
Michelle MacDonald (24:33):
Yeah, that's probably the hardest part of being in that messy middle is having those doubts of, is this really for me? Why am I choosing this? Right? An actual is this external, this desire to do this thing? Is it something that I've accepted from an external source versus my deeper intuition that this is for me? And that's where it gets kind of crazy because you see people giving up and this is not for me. And then you'll often hear things like, oh, fitness ruined my life, or It was just too extreme. Can you talk a little bit about that? Sure. You've seen it around you,
Courtney Ustrzycki (25:11):
And this is where social media I think impacts all of this so much because just as you've said, we see people giving up, where do we see them giving up? We see them giving up on Instagram and they're posting about it, and they're talking about it. And it's great that people like you and I are always so honest and real when we talk about stuff on social media. But if we're competing for ourselves, I think there's an element of privacy that I think is so important. And that's why I kind of went through my own little test to see if I competed and didn't show anything on social media. Is this a sign that I'm doing this for me? And would I still do this? Yes. Because even up until last year, I was competing, but it didn't value my business. Whereas a lot of coaches, they'll compete and then use that as business promotions and advertising, and there's nothing wrong with that.
(26:06):
I do that now, and you do that, and it is amazing. And I really think that in order to be a really good leader, especially as a competition coach is you have to be in those trenches with the competitors. You have to know what's going on. You have to be in the same playing field. You can't just sit out and being like, yeah, well, I saw them doing this, so we're going to do that too. You got to be in there and you got to be involved because that's what a leader is. Like I said, we're all in that level playing field, and I think that's so important, but being able to step back and not show anything on social media and really know that I would do this for me, and I've had those thoughts where you've maybe seen a post where it's like if you didn't post a single thing on social media or you didn't tell a single soul, would you still do it? And for me, the answer is yes, I will do things and not talk about it. I will do my own prep and do my cardio and do my posing and be like, the world doesn't need to know. I don't need validation. And good job, Courtney, you did the things that you're supposed to do. And that for me is enough to know that I don't do that for that external validation.
Michelle MacDonald (27:09):
How do you coach that for clients that are just getting started maybe, and I don't know if you coach a lot of beginners, do you?
Courtney Ustrzycki (27:15):
Yeah, I'd say most of them are beginners because they see it and they're like, Ooh, this is fun. I want to do this. So I do have some experienced competitors. I do have some beginner competitors. Do you
Michelle MacDonald (27:27):
Leverage social media then? I know we do. We're like, get on social media, get accountable, have fun with this. Get some other gals that can support you, you can support them. Do you not do that at all?
Courtney Ustrzycki (27:36):
I almost do the opposite where I had one client and she was posting everything on social media and she's like, I want to document everything. And I'm like, that's great. But if you're going into the gym and you're micd up and you're like, Hey, now I'm going to do this side, it's like, what is the intensity that you're bringing? Are you bringing this performance to the gym where you're like, Ooh, I'm going to show everyone how hard it is and I'm going to grunt and groan and stuff, or are you so dialed in, you're drooling and you don't even know what's happening and you're so focused on that set and you're grunting and everything. That's what I want. So for me, that's what's more important.
Michelle MacDonald (28:13):
I like that perspective.
Courtney Ustrzycki (28:15):
And I think there is a balance because you and I do the same thing. We go into the gym and yes, we use this as our business, but then there's also a time where maybe we go into the gym probably more days than not where there's no video camera and there's no tripod where it's like you just go in and you do the work. And I think that is so important. I said that to many clients where I'm like, what happens if you weren't distracted by that? Because that's when I feel like it's that external validation, right?
Michelle MacDonald (28:42):
Yeah. I feel like sometimes with fitness and socials and all the filters and body tuning and things that are out there these days, I was talking to JJ about this morning heading to the gym, and I feel like it's people trying to, they want to be part of the NHL, but they only end up buying the shirt and buying the shirt is not the same as doing the things that need to be done to be on an NHL team. It's work.
Courtney Ustrzycki (29:11):
I find there's a lot of great energy on social media. It's what you attract, but then you can't control who's going to say garbage. But one of the things that I really don't like, and I always approach these conversations in a very respectful way, but when people are like, you look great, you're going to win. That for me is such an, that's the kiss of death flag. I have lost flag more shows and it's so appreciated. But you're not the judge. And even my coaches could be, my coaches wouldn't do that. They're not going to be like, you're going to win. You don't know who's going to show up. You don't know. Yes, we know what the judges are looking for, but every judge is going to have a little bit of an opinion. Everything's going to be a little bit different. So that's usually why I almost don't showing stuff on social media. If somebody is like, oh, you're going to win, you look amazing. It's like, thank you, but no, you don't understand. So I feel like I need to shut things down.
Michelle MacDonald (30:08):
Just really staying in your lane, head down, be a soldier, get the work done. So let's talk a little bit about the pushing yourself and being self-aware about self-imposed limitations and really allowing yourself to go for it. I'd like to talk a little bit about that as a coach, how do you coach that with your clients? And this is going to be great take home from the people that are listening to this because we see people limiting themselves all the time. And I think gals in particular, when I go to a gym personally, it doesn't matter what gym I am in the world, it's rare sadly, that I see the woman working as hard as the men. And I know people are going to get their backs up on this, but I was just the gym this morning and I see there's three guys surrounded, this other guy, he's on the hack squat and he's just letting, he's dying. And he was doing a strip set. It was nuts. And I don't see anything comparable like that from the gals, and it's just as hard for a woman to put on muscle as it is for guys. I tend to see guys with their training logs, they're all in, they're just going for it, sweaty, gross, making the faces. But I rarely see that with the gals. So I'd love to hear how you coach that digging deeper, really making sure you're milking everything you can out of a session. Truly being all in
Courtney Ustrzycki (31:30):
There is, I learned this in two levels from my own experience. I learned this with power lifting because you're pushing yourself to a true one rep max. And you learn, I have goosebumps just thinking about this. You learn what failure feels like when you feel the bar being crushed from a bench press, even though it's probably not too much weight, it's still defeating. Or if you fail a squad, you learn what true failure feels like. And so I know that extreme, but well, one rep max in power lifting does not apply to bodybuilding. So there's an element of put your ego aside, but you still need to push. I know that many women get nervous like, oh, I don't want to get injured or I don't want to get hurt. And in all of the times, all of the years, over 10 years I've been coaching, I have pushed clients and not a single person has gotten injured.
(32:27):
Now, I'm not saying it's foolproof. At some point, maybe form isn't going to be good or something's going to happen. I may be push them too hard, but I always tell my clients, try a little bit more. And let's say it's like a dumbbell lateral raise. What's the worst that's going to happen? You're not going to get it. But what happens if you do get it? You just tap into that awareness and learning a little bit more. And when you go into the gym, the goal should be to seek failure. That is the place where failure is the goal. We don't want to step on stage and fail or we don't want to go somewhere else and fail. But in the gym, that's how we grow and that's where we make changes. So if you go into the gym and you're not seeking failure, actively seeking to fail and not achieve what you need to do, I don't think you're growing.
(33:20):
And so many women, yeah, they're afraid to do it. So whenever I always watch my client's programming, so there's a lot of coaches that will just give, and I'm not saying that this is wrong, this is just my approach. They'll give their client, yes, a custom program, but it's like, okay, do your work and go, I want to see videos. I want to see what you're end. I don't want just three or four reps. I want to see your whole set because I want to see what you perceive as your best effort. And then I'm like, yeah, you could have done 10 more. And they're like, yeah, but it was hard. I'm like, you could have done more. I'm like, show me next time that you can do more. And I feel like when we're able to be at a level head or level even level with our clients, it's not that we're talking down to them, but we're there and we're supporting them and we're like, I bet you can do five more reps. Show me that you can do it. And they're not doing it as an ego thing, but they're like, yo, but Coach Courtney believes in me, so I'm going to try and do it.
Michelle MacDonald (34:18):
Yeah, it's about the belief.
Courtney Ustrzycki (34:19):
And then they do it, and then it's like, imagine what else you can do.
Michelle MacDonald (34:24):
And
Courtney Ustrzycki (34:24):
It's just a little bit more and a little bit more and a little bit more. We're not going from zero to 100, we're going from zero to one, then we're going from one to two. And it's just those little literal reps that add up that over time compound. And I've done that with myself and I've done that with clients competing and lifestyle clients, and it's so empowering to watch them do things in and out of the gym that they've never done before. And they're like, guess what? I did those messages. They're like, oh my God, I did this for the first time and it's so rewarding.
Michelle MacDonald (34:57):
Yeah, I think I was listening to, I was at a clinic with Brad Schoenfeld and he was talking about, he was recommending that beginners and a beginner doesn't mean your first year, it's really in terms of your lifting journey, are you able to truly train to failure or truly within one to two reps of failure? Until you get to that space, you're kind of a beginner. And so he was recommending just taking people to literal failure so that they understand what that feels like and what it looks like. If
Courtney Ustrzycki (35:29):
You don't know that end of that spectrum, how can you measure what 80% intensity is or 90% intensity, but based on what you have zero. And you don't know where that end of that spectrum is. Yeah, I, and I know that you love this too, but whenever I have a client that comes here on vacation, I'm like, let's train. And my job isn't to destroy them and being like, I told you you couldn't do it. That's not it. I want to see what else we can do. Then you just give them those little golden nuggets and those little nudges and those little pushes and they come
Michelle MacDonald (36:02):
Out and your energy, your energy, a great coach will help people accelerate in the gym and also even a great training buddy, get together with, I remember you and I doing, I think it was you, myself, maybe Brittany or Marcella, we were doing Smith machine hip thrust,
Courtney Ustrzycki (36:20):
And
Michelle MacDonald (36:20):
I was like, I'm just going to do, I dunno, I think I was doing two plates, two 40 fives, and you were like, this isn't heavy enough. And you went up, you went up. And I'm like, damn, this little whipper snapper. I got a grandma. Michelle's got to go heavier now and that's how it should be though. I love training with Brittany. I mean she always, because she's fun and she pushes, she knows how to push and it really levels up to
Courtney Ustrzycki (36:46):
You're boosting each other up and it just, it fuels each other. It's not that you need to compete with the other person, but it's fuel and being like, okay, well maybe you can't do that, but let's find out. Up until probably about six months ago I was against training with people. I'm like, I don't want to. And I'm still very, very particular on you got
Michelle MacDonald (37:04):
To be selective who you trained with. Yeah,
Courtney Ustrzycki (37:06):
I don't want to go in and train with someone, but then be the coach. I don't have the energy for that. Not right now. If I want to train someone, I'll train someone, but if someone's going to train with me, I want to be challenged by them. So I love now training with guys. I'm like, I want to be the shrimp in the group. I want to go train with the men's competitors, the wellness girlies, the big physique is I want to be the one that has to keep up. I never want to be, and that Hattie says this all the time to be the hardest worker in the room. I never want to be the hardest worker in the room. I want to be striving for that, but I never want to be there. I want, yeah, that's
Michelle MacDonald (37:45):
Such a huge mindset shift for people to make,
Courtney Ustrzycki (37:49):
Right? I want to be the one who's forced to level up and I level.
Michelle MacDonald (37:54):
Yeah, if you're smart, you always want to be the dumbest person in the room, otherwise you're in the wrong room.
Courtney Ustrzycki (37:59):
That's very common thing. That's where vulnerability is. And nobody wants to be there. Nobody wants to walk into a room and being like, oh shit, I don't belong here. Because there's that gut reaction or that initial reaction where you're like, this is too much for me. But then leaning into that and being like, I need to be here right now and just sit in that icky puddle until you start to grow.
Michelle MacDonald (38:27):
There's one last thing I want to tease out here, and it's because listening to you, I mean, it's so refreshing. How old are you?
Courtney Ustrzycki (38:32):
I'm 37.
Michelle MacDonald (38:34):
You're just So, I hadn't even started this until I was 40. Well, 39 and a half. And you've been at this for such a long time and it's so refreshing to hear all of these things that you're saying because it's true wisdom and you said something so you don't have to compete with them. But I am going to kind of play devil's advocate and say, I feel court that you actually demonstrate healthy competitiveness. And I think for a lot of gals, we're not conditioned, we're not socialized how to have healthy competition. I think in the female side of things, we still see a lot of backstabbing and people climbing over each other to try to using each other and get to the top. And when I see guys, maybe it's a little bit forced, I don't know. But when I see guys on the Olympia stage where it's hundreds of thousands of dollars at stake, you see them like
Courtney Ustrzycki (39:26):
Fist bumping,
Michelle MacDonald (39:28):
Fist pumping and getting photos with each other and shaking each other's hand. And they know that, okay, this guy won. They know what that means to win that, and they're hugging each other and really with tears in their eyes, congratulations, you got the show. And I think it's great that there are more women you like myself, that really love Hattie, love healthy competition and are inspired by each other, and that inspiration helps us to push and to be excited to be the weakest person or whatever I want to learn. I want to get up to speed. So I'd love you to touch base on how you, have you always been that way? Did you have to talk yourself through that? And how do you coach that in your clients to embrace failing and to want to be on a tough stage, not to want to do a tiny show because they're going to be guaranteed to win, et cetera.
Courtney Ustrzycki (40:21):
And I'm going to share something and I don't know if I've ever told anybody about this publicly so that we're going to go on for it. So I got my pro card the end of 2022. I did my pro debut in Toronto, basically my hometown, and I was so excited for it. That was my thing, and I felt so good going into it. And my posing coach Kat, the day before my pro debut, she got her pro card. So that day that I was doing my pro debut, she was doing her pro debut too, and I felt in a way that she was stealing my fender and I had to sit with myself in that and figure out why does it, I have goosebumps just saying it because I am almost embarrassed talking,
Michelle MacDonald (41:08):
This is great. I love this, thank you. But
Courtney Ustrzycki (41:10):
It's so important because this is so many things or there's so many relatable situations like this, and I'm sure a lot of people have things where it's like you feel like somebody's stealing your thunder, but there's nothing that she can do that can steal my thunderer because my thunderer is from within me where it's like someone can't take your happiness that's from within you. I am doing the best that I possibly can do, and nobody can take that away from me. The only things that we can control are our effort and our attitude. If I give my best effort and I keep a good attitude, nobody can take anything away from me.
Michelle MacDonald (41:44):
How long did you sit with that messy feeling and then get out of it?
Courtney Ustrzycki (41:50):
At least six months. Oh, wow. It was a while because it wasn't even that competition. There was that one. And I was also so excited because I'm like, I get to share the stage with one of my best friends, which is really, but then at the same point I'm like, damn, what if she plays us higher than me and I could have been there? All of these things, and I'm sure a lot of people can relate to that or have a similar kind of experience. So she was doing a lot of competitions that year, and then I was going to do another show in Mexico, and I'm like, damn, I hope she doesn't go because I don't want her to steal my thunder again. I'm like, why is this bothering me so much? What is it that's in here that I'm not getting out? And for me, I had to really sit and think, this is self-sabotage.
(42:38):
I don't want to compete because of somebody else, because of an external factor that I cannot control. There is nothing that anybody can do that can take away my power, and I really needed to sit with that. And every time a little thought similar to that comes in, I'm like, let's dig a little bit deeper. Let's find the answer within ourself and anytime a client has this or I know a client that didn't want to, she just recently did a competition or not a client, sorry, girl. I know she didn't want to do a competition because she knew who she was competing against, and it's like if you go on stage and expose that vulnerability and expose that lack of confidence, the judges see that and you're not going to lose because of her, but you're going to lose because your energy sucked and that energy carries on with you everywhere, and if you can always have your best energy and just be focused on you and what's in your control, so much stuff doesn't matter.
Michelle MacDonald (43:37):
Yeah, that's the pull, right? You got to learn to recognize that and again, in that messy middle, when things are actually hard and your emotions are, you're really jacked, you're really in, as Michelle Beatty says, your protective nervous system, it's really hard to just back away from the bonfire, get yourself regulated, and then do the work. It's so hard to not get pulled. That's where getting off social media can be helpful because if you're opening up your phone and you're getting like, oh my God, you're continually getting triggered and it's making it even harder to do the growth work that needs to get done.
Courtney Ustrzycki (44:17):
Yeah. Anytime I start to feel like resistance on anything, if I go into the gym when I'm close to prep and I start feeling stressed, I'm like, that's it. Get off social media. What things on my calendar on my mind that just need to get dropped smart and I will block out weeks ahead and I'm like, sorry, clients. We can't book calls because I need to put myself first, and that's not me being selfish. That's not being like, oh my God, my prep is more important than you. That's my own wellbeing, and I'm sure that you can understand and relate to that too.
Michelle MacDonald (44:50):
You're maybe ahead of the game. I have a lot of calls on my calendar. I know, but that's smart because you're really self-aware and you're putting that self-awareness along with that for you to be healthy and for you to feel balanced and locked in, it's going to be a very different set of non-negotiables than if you weren't competing, and then that might not be what you would give to a client, whether it's for genetic reasons or their ability to handle a higher allostatic load or whatever. They might have more flexibility, but that takes so much and really knowing yourself, not projecting and being ready for the lessons that come up and knowing that when things are messy and hard, there's probably some pretty important lesson that if you can get through it on the other side, you are a new person, you have
Courtney Ustrzycki (45:40):
Evolved. Yeah. I almost try to trick myself that whenever I am starting to feel anxious or stressed about something, or maybe I'm posing and I'm getting frustrated, I'm like, something good is coming. Just got to keep at it, keep at it, keep at it, keep at it. Because if I give up, that magic isn't going to happen. I'm not going to tap into that new level, that new layer, that new growth,
Michelle MacDonald (46:00):
Right? Yeah. Yeah. Gay Hendrix talks about that a lot In the big leap when you're feeling that worry thought or that anger thought or whatever is your tendency, when you're going to really hit the limit of your happiness, just flip it and go, huh, that's only coming up because I'm now here with my growth and my ego wants me to pull me back down here where it's like, I know this space. Let's go back down here. Don't go back. There's something, I'm sitting on a pot of gold. Where's the pot of gold?
Courtney Ustrzycki (46:27):
Yeah, there. I just got to keep going.
Michelle MacDonald (46:30):
Keep going and look at you, man. Jay and I are just, not that we had anything to do with it, but we're like, oh my God, we remember when she was just a little tiny of thing and look at her now and your physique is insane much, and we know how hard it is. You're at the stage now where it's like maybe a pound
Courtney Ustrzycki (46:50):
You got to do all a million pound is like a proud pound
Michelle MacDonald (46:54):
On a pound, and you got to do all those things, all the things all year to get that one pound,
Courtney Ustrzycki (47:02):
Always
Michelle MacDonald (47:02):
Pound.
Courtney Ustrzycki (47:03):
Congratulations. For me, I'm always in prep. I'm always focused, always off. Season is like growth,
Michelle MacDonald (47:11):
And that's where a lot of people get beat and whether it's competition or it's in life, find ways to falling in love with the process. Find ways to keep refreshing your why.
Courtney Ustrzycki (47:23):
Yes, reviewing it
Michelle MacDonald (47:25):
Because yeah, and
Courtney Ustrzycki (47:27):
It can change.
Michelle MacDonald (47:28):
Yep, it change. It can evolve, but you can't fake consistency at the end of the day, especially with the body. I mean there's genetics involved, but when you get to that higher level, you can't. And running a business, same thing. You can't fake it at the end of the day. Got to put the time in and you got to have the growth. Yeah, I could go on forever and I can't you in real life. I hope I get to see you in real life soon. When are you competing again? Next
Courtney Ustrzycki (47:50):
September, I think. But I'm really liking this off season, so I might push it a little bit longer. We'll see.
Michelle MacDonald (47:56):
I can't wait to see the package
Courtney Ustrzycki (47:59):
You
Michelle MacDonald (47:59):
Bring to this stage. I'm competing in September.
Courtney Ustrzycki (48:02):
Oh my gosh. I've never been this weight before and I still want to put on probably five, 10 pounds. What you weigh? I'm just about one 30. 1 32.
Michelle MacDonald (48:11):
Wow. I've been following you and I know that for you.
Courtney Ustrzycki (48:16):
Even low one 10.
Michelle MacDonald (48:18):
I know.
Courtney Ustrzycki (48:18):
And I'm like, I still need to grow. So you know what good growth is and
Michelle MacDonald (48:22):
Oh yeah.
Courtney Ustrzycki (48:23):
I love it. I love
Michelle MacDonald (48:24):
It. And I know that you ought to eat a lot of food and it's not comfortable.
Courtney Ustrzycki (48:26):
It's a lot of tacos.
Michelle MacDonald (48:27):
It's a lot of tacos, and I have to do a lot of shakes. Okay, Courtney, let's wrap up here. Thank you so much. Good luck at the show. Hopefully this will get dropped before that date and I'll definitely have to have you back on. And we definitely have to go for
Courtney Ustrzycki (48:42):
Tacos. Please. Thank you so much for your time and your energy. I love our collaborations as well. Thank you, Michelle. Thanks, Courtney.
Michelle MacDonald (48:58):
If today's conversation resonated with you, please take a second, leave us a review, share it with a friend or share it on your socials. We are currently in the top 1% of podcasts globally, and it is my mission to get evidence-based expert led conversations to as many women as possible. Here are three things we can take away from today's conversation with Courtney. One, growth requires discomfort. Courtney emphasizes real progress physically and mentally comes from pushing through discomfort, both in and out of the gym. Embracing vulnerability and failure is key to evolving two, training to true failure. Courtney discussed how many women underestimate their strength and stop short of true failure. She encourages training intensity and self-awareness, especially around perceived limits. Three, balance isn't always the goal. While Courtney once valued balance, she's learned reaching elite goals like bodybuilding, competition require structure, discipline, and sometimes imbalance, but that trade-off is a conscious investment. It's not a sacrifice. Thanks for listening to Stronger By Design. If you're interested in coaching, go ahead and check out my coaching brand, the Wonder Woman, and if you'd like to be more self-led, you can go ahead and download my book on Training for Women Empowered Strength, and that's available on my website. Have a wonderful day, everybody, and we'll see you on the next episode.