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Match with a licensed therapist today at Talkspace.com. Save $80 with code SPACE80 at Talkspace.com. Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast.
¶ Podcast Welcome and Show Mechanics
Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. Craigslist is definitely the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it. The temptation is just too much. Real problems. Does your friend know that you're banging her? No, he has no idea. Anything goes. Motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to re-hide your whips and chain. Here is your host, Kathy.
Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you haven't followed the Strictly Anonymous podcast yet on Instagram or Twitter, follow me at Strict Anonymous if you want to be on the show.
It's called Strictly Anonymous because I change everyone's voices and names. You can call me from a phony number. You can make up a phony email. I don't give a shit who you really are. I just want to hear your true naughty life story. And so if you want to be on the show while remaining anonymous or not anonymous, if you're out in practice.
that's cool too you could be on the show just send me an email strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com or just go to my website strictly anonymous podcast.com and click on be on the show my book is finally out it's called strictly anonymous confession secret sex lives of total
strangers I pick 17 stories one of each kind of category that I talk about on my show wrote them in third person it's kind of like erotica but not like cheesy erotica I don't like cheesy erotica it's more like pet house forum style meets my show you could get the ebook version or the
paperback version on Amazon the link is in the description now if you have a naughty confession that you want to leave on my confessions hotline you could do that anytime the number is 347-420-3579 that's 347-420-3579 you could Leave a message there, like I said, 24-7. Make sure you're in a quiet place. Don't leave a confession while you're driving. I'm not going to post that one. Some of those confessions make it onto a confessions episode. The rest go up on my Patreon.
Now, my Patreon is a super fun place to join. It's only $7 a month. I think that's really cheap considering you get every single episode, and I do six episodes a week, so that's 36 episodes a month early as... free and intro free. I don't put any of this intro shit in my episodes on Patreon.
You also get to see anonymous, sexy hot pics of all the women that call into my show. They're all there. You could look up any past guests. You want to put a body to the episode. They're all there. Plus, you also get complimentary access to my private Discord. Nowhere private discord is super fun. It's super X rated. It's naughty. It's a not safe for work site. It's a place where everybody could post their own stuff and everybody.
does I don't really get involved in my discord but my discord is a community of all my listeners and my listeners are fucking cool and they're hot okay I'm currently running a boob contest your best boob contest I like in the first two days that I posted it there's probably 200 pictures submissions of women with their boobs. And they're all like the best. I did a dick pic contest and I'm like, oh my God, my listeners.
have the biggest dicks I've ever seen. And now with the boobs, I'm like, all of my listeners have the best boobs I've ever seen. So if you want to get into my discord, you could only do that through me. Okay, you can Google and find my discord. I don't charge for it is complimentary.
access you get that if you join my patreon you get that and if you buy my book and send me a screenshot i will throw that in as well just email it to me strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com now the last thing i want to tell you about is stc i have a free code they have really great deals in december
So now is the time to sign up to SCC.com. They're the world's largest online hookup site. You don't just hook up with people in SCC. There is so much information over there on everything having to do with the lifestyle. If you use my code 370.
37712. You're going to get a free trial to check it out. That's sdc.com. Use my code 37712 or just go to the description and click on the link. Now today I have on Mike. Mike's story is so crazy in the beginning. I mean, it has a sad ending, but this is real.
¶ Mike's Accidental Cuckold Journey
life okay i like to show real life this is a real life story of a guy who became a cock and he had a lot of cuck experiences and he was down for it and his girl was so horny for other guys she loved dick she fucked a lot of guys oh my god the stories you're not going to believe them. He was definitely a cuck in that. He was like...
pushed around. He was definitely the sub. She was definitely the dumb. He talked about how that all came to be, all the things that happened, a lot of crazy stories. Like I said, the way that his wife used to roll was out of control. way it was all set up he was definitely a cock and you'll see what I mean when you listen to this the details I'm not going to give them away and then things ended
He talks about how they ended and why. And there's not been much good stuff since. And we talk about all that. And he's not really in a good place now. unfortunately. And we talk about that. So that's the story. You're going to have to listen for all the details. It's super interesting. So I'm going to get right to it and be right back on with Mike. Hey Mike, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast. How are you today? Not too bad. And yourself?
I'm good. Well, listen, Mike, what I know about you is you're an accidental cook. So I don't know if that's, is that a good thing or a bad thing? Well, good and bad, unfortunately. So when you say accidental, I don't know what that means. What is the negative about it? What it entails or that it stopped? Is that what happened? What is the negative about... Pretty much it stopped and...
¶ Early Obsession and Meeting Wife
I wish I could have it back. Okay, so how far back do we have to go? Maybe we have to go a little bit backwards and talk about like what was going on when you were a teenager? Yeah, a little bit. I'll just give a little bit of a foundation for how things started. As far back as I can remember, I've been obsessed with sex and porn, and I originally found one of my babysitters.
husband's collection of magazines down in the basement one time and i was just fascinated and i grew up in the time you didn't have the the covers on the magazine so if you could sneak a peek at this at the store that they had them at cool and as i got older i apologized to all the convenience stores i stole magazines from when i was a young teenager but it was just like always
sex, boobs, women, whatever. Yeah, people don't understand that didn't grow up at that time because nowadays it's so readily available, whatever you want online, right? But back in our day... around my days. If you found a stash like that, you remember. I had a guy on it the other day. He remembered page numbers of specific things because you hit gold. That stuff you couldn't find. You couldn't walk in and get it. You couldn't Google it in your room.
them alone exactly eventually I was removed from the house and I was put in a group home after a couple years I got released from a group home and I was a foster care I finished high school I went on to college i was in my college and during this time i also met the woman who is now my wife we met we met on a telnet back then like very ancient messenger system
and we were in schools about an hour and a half apart, and we chatted on that for a while. Eventually, we started calling each other, and then we eventually decided to meet.
i didn't have a license yet because i had been recently out of the group home and i hadn't gotten it yet so she came down to see me and i still remember going down there to open the door for her and meeting her and how she looked and how scared nervous she was and i think i knew then i was like i love this woman it's we spent the night together although we i wasn't supposed to have her in my room overnight
And eventually I left school and I had to move back home. And she came transferred and came to a school closer to where I lived. And. one of the during the summer before she transferred down she came down and we spent the weekend together and oops she ended up pregnant so we had our first child and we just kind of started living together and
¶ First Threesome and Openness
taking care of our kids so of course then about that time is the rise of the internet and online porn and i'm like oh my gosh this is awesome and one of the people i was working for is like hey can you give me some of this printed off a bunch of stuff and brought it to him and we're talking and there's a couple threesome pictures in there and all that and he's like would you ever do that i was like i don't really see a problem with that i don't know about
my woman was my wife wouldn't do that ever i was like i'm sorry because she was hot a few times i had seen her so i was like you know what i wonder what she would do and she said i don't know maybe but
I also got to sidetrack real quick on the fact that at one place I was working, there was a girl that we were pretty much the same shifts that we would eventually end up on breaks together. And people started talking like, something's going on so i tried to tell my woman i was like this is being said nothing's going on i wasn't believed at that point so and nothing was going on right nothing at the time was going on no okay
But I wasn't believed, so I eventually said, fuck it, and I did. Oh, that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard, but I've heard it before. I was a dumbass. I get that, but... So there's actually me talking to her about the threesome stuff was actually occurred after that. And she's like, I don't know. She's, would you want another woman? I was like, not necessarily. If you want another man, that would be fine. And she's, well, I'm like.
kick that around well we'll come up to about my 21st birthday and i'm working at another place and talking with this dude and i was like she said she may like be up for this blah blah blah so my 21st birthday we got together me and him and my woman and had a few drinks and eventually that led to all of us having sex together and next thing you know i i get a call that someone left something in my car so they needed to come by and get it so
I was like, I'm stepping outside, guys. I'll be back. I'm out there for a few minutes waiting, having a cigarette. Eventually, I go back in, and then the two of them are at it again, and he's got her legs up in the air, and he's just going into her like... I'm just standing, wow, you know, I liked it. I was like, I, I was like, that vision is still in my, my memory and I'm 46 now.
So I've never been able to get that out of my head. So as we're going along, there's a couple other guys. And eventually the original guy called us one night and said, hey, you want to get together? So he came over again. Actually, I went and picked him up and we had sex for a while and he's like, hey, can your woman drive me home? And I'm like, I don't care. Well, she was in her lingerie, drives him home. He only lived about six blocks away.
I'm standing outside and an hour later, she finally comes home. I'm like, dang. She said, oh yeah, we finished talking. I'm like, okay, cool. Still nothing really.
¶ Wife's Interracial Desire Emerges
big on that at the moment but you know eventually she tells me i've always been intrigued by a black guy and and got talking i was like you know what i can see a difference between sex and making love so If you want to, go ahead. All I ask is use protection. No kissing. No overnight. Do your thing. Have sex. Don't sleep with them. Have sex. Come home.
And be honest with me. She said, I don't think I can reciprocate that. I was like, I get it. I fucked it up. So I get that. So eventually she been hanging out with this girlfriend of ours. And this guy kept coming around. This black guy kept coming around. He was really attracted to my wife. And he kept kind of hitting on her. And she'd come home and say, hey, he's been hitting on me. And I was like, well, did you do anything? She was like...
i'm not sure i'm not sure i'm not sure so eventually we're at a party me her our girlfriend and this guy and his brother and a couple other people come in and he's sitting on a woman and She says something to me and he's like, oh, is this your man? He's like, yeah. He's like, oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That's when she said, well, if I want to have sex with you, you don't care. And at this point, you didn't care. This is all good for you, right?
I was like, you know, this should be cool. Okay. Were you into the whole interracial thing? Was that good for you? I know it was for her. Was that something that you had fantasized about? I had never really fantasized about it, but it didn't bug me. Okay, cool. So we eventually pile up in our vehicle and go out to this park in our town, and she has sex with him, and we move on. Well, eventually...
It got to a point where he was calling every night, and then we find out he's married and his wife is pissed. That got a little contentious there, but... What went down? I wasn't around, but apparently... She was at the bar with friends, and he was there. She went with him, and when they came back, his wife was at the bar waiting. She never got outright attacked. So the wife had no idea? I don't believe so, no. Eventually, he kind of...
¶ Escalating Solo Encounters
Well, we didn't quite drop off the picture, but other people kind of started finding out. And there's a guy showed up at our door one night. We knew him. We had partied with him a few times. He's like, hey. can your wife take me to get to the liquor store? I'm like, okay, you walked right past her liquor store to get here, but whatever. And eventually a couple hours later, I'm like, where are they at? So I go drive around and go to the park and they're sitting there in the park.
She said at that time that nothing happened, but I was like, something went down. But she was saying nothing went down. But eventually, a while later, this thing, we were at the party, and he was there. Eventually when the party got done, he's like, you know, can we go back to your place? And my wife was like, yeah, sure. So we go back and they're making out as we're driving home and we get home.
they're getting it on and he's on the couch and she's down in front of him sucking his dick and you know of course yeah she she's sucking him off and and i'm like behind her and i start playing with her ass and every once in a while she's like pushing me away like leave me alone and I'm like okay well she's focused I guess I don't know any more than that probably she's just focused on him so
eventually the two of them went into our bed and just watching them get it on and her facials and i'm like oh my god out of this world as i'm just like happy and i'm watching her i'm like This is crazy. Hey everyone. You know what I got to say about New Year's resolutions? Fuck them. Okay. So many people set themselves up with unrealistic goals. I'm going to be skinnier. I'm going to start going to the gym. But those things rarely happen. So why not make 2026 all about
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Eventually the two of them went into her bed and just watching them get it on and her facials. And I'm like, Oh my God, out of this world is I'm just like happy. And I'm watching her. I'm like, This is crazy. Well, what was that first threesome? Didn't you see that one too? It wasn't.
¶ Memorable Threesome and Intense Sex
It was a little quicker, like not long. Okay, so this one was like a really hot one that stands out in your memory. Yes, really hot one. And you didn't even care. Some guys might get a little butthurt that she pushed you away. You're so into this scenario of her being with the other guy that...
You don't even care, right? I think I was kind of mildly annoyed, but not really. I was more fascinated with watching her, and he had a pretty sizable, yeah. So as we move along, eventually the original...
¶ Surprise Three-Guy Encounter
black guy who's like wanting to meet her again and i'm kind of hesitant and she's i want to go see him and so i drive her over to meet him and it's him and then and this guy that we just recently been within a third person i'm like i thought it was just so-and-so she's yeah i'm like it's two guys three three yeah
And she didn't tell you that ahead of time? You think you're just going to see one guy? She told me it was just going to be one guy. I was like, what's going on? It's just going to be him. How old's your wife at this time? She's crazy. I wish your wife was on this call. How old's your wife at this time, at this moment in time that you're talking about?
I think we were like 24. Right, that's what I was thinking. She's like super young, so she's not even thinking. She didn't even tell you, but she knows you're going to be down, right? So anyway, so three guys were there. Oh my God. Yeah, so I drop her off. I go back home and I'm taking care of the kid. And an hour goes by, a couple hours go by. We go drive by and I see them walking out and having cigarettes and whatever. And I just kind of skirt around. I'm not, I'm mildly irritated.
But like, okay, whatever. Well, when she gets done and I go to pick her up, it was always like, Hey, you know, take care of me now. And she's like, no, I don't want to. I'm like, why? Yeah. Is she a little dom, your wife? Like, why does she treat you like such shit? I was like... What the fuck, you know? And it comes out that she did screw all three guys. Of course. Two of them twice. Of course.
without protection oh my god like how did you find this all out she copped to it i was like what happened yeah she's like well i did and then you know she thought she was pregnant and she wanted me to take care of it Oh, my God. She's so bad. Your girl was so bad when she was younger. You're still married to her to this day, right? Yes. I'm sure she's a different woman now. But at that point, she's a girl. You know what I mean? She's still so young.
initially i was mad as hell i was like what the fuck this completely went against all the rules we had and it was about a month where we were just kind of at odds and she wouldn't have sex with me and and Eventually, we worked it out, and as I moved on, I'm like, I actually liked that she just took control of it and did her own thing and said, fuck it, this is how I'm doing it. Oh, yeah. She's definitely, listen, in your relationship, she's definitely the dom and you're definitely the sub.
And there's a part of that you must like because some guys would have kicked her to the curb after one of the things she's done to you so far in this story. And you're kind of like still there. And none of it is turning you off, really. And she's kind of like really treating you like a little cuck, right? You definitely are a cuck. Yeah, but there was no word for it at the time. I didn't know what the hell this was. Yeah, exactly.
¶ Coworker Affair and Emotional Fallout
eventually there comes this other guy that i found a note from her from him asking him asking her to leave me for him oh my god why didn't you tell me about this like i didn't think anything of it i'm like god damn whatever but she's like i want to screw him i'm like i wasn't really up for that one but she's like well i want to anyway and we actually worked at the same place she's so funny yeah one day she's we're working and he's out in the parking lot fucking my wife and you know
he would call her on breaks eventually I got pulled in the office like why do you spend so much time talking to her I was like that's not me talk to so and so he's like well why is he calling your wife I was like because they're friends oh my god if people only knew yeah Eventually we lost kind of touch with him for a little bit. But can I just ask you a quick question?
I remember exactly where you're at. You're doing so good telling the story. I probably shouldn't interrupt you at all. But quick question. That guy kind of had cop feelings and he was like wanting her to leave you. Did that bother you at all? Or were you still like into him being with her even though you knew that? Not initially.
Okay. No, not initially, but I kind of like... Gave it. Gave it. You know, I mean, we were friends too. It was like, I liked the guy. It just bugged me that she didn't tell me about it. It was like, I wouldn't have had a problem if she had just told me.
¶ Online Lifestyle and Various Hookups
As we're moving along, then she's meeting people. Eventually, we actually started a website. Really? Yeah. What was it called? She was part of a group. I don't even think it exists anymore. So we took the pictures, sent them to the guy that ran the site. And she actually had her own offshoot from the main site. So we'd go around and get groomed and take pictures and edit and have fun. And there's just some off and on people here and there.
nothing real serious. But wait a second, during this whole time that all this stuff is going on, is she always playing solo? Are you there? What's going on? Like, how is the setup? There is a mix of both. Okay. There's one guy that she met that was a friend of ours.
Her boyfriend had been murdered, so her brother had set her up with this black guy, and she wasn't really into him, so she took my wife with her on the date. Your wife wound up with him? Yep. She came back, and he picked her up, and they went... back to his hotel room and got it on and there's one night i came home from work and your original white guy was was there and she was sucking him off and i mean other times there was i was there i mean eventually we kind of
get back and run into the one guy that had feelings for her again and we were out to dinner and he happened to run into us and he's like can we like hook up and she looks at me and I was like
Do your thing. So she went with him and went back to the house and I touched around a little bit and You know went back home as they were finishing up and I kind of got the last 10 minutes or so but then there's this neighbor guy of ours that that she that kind of caught wind of what was going on and he's like can i can i fuck your wife i was like you have to talk to her dude well
I'm at work one night and I call home on lunch and I'm talking to her and I was like well I gotta get back to work and I get done and I get home it's nine o'clock and our child was with family at that point so she had been alone and And she made a comment to me that such and such showed up. I'm like, oh, really? I'm like, okay. And she's like, we fucked. And you could just see the joy in her eyes. I'm like, really? You like it? She's like, yeah.
¶ Hotel Hookups and Public Displays
he's awesome there's another black guy and eventually like he was wanting to meet her at hotel rooms that he got and so the first time i dropped her off i went and did some stuff came back and she come down you know like i came so many times you just see how giddy she was with it you know i'm like happy for her i was like good for you goodness i'm not great performance
by any stretch of the imagination and i'm not horrible but not great so eventually eventually one time she's going to meet him and she gives me the room number and so i like give them a little bit of time and i go in and i'm walking down the hall and this this place is like a long narrow hallway so she's about their room is about three-fourths of the way towards the end of the building
And I'm standing by the door and you can just hear him going at it. Like she's hollering and screaming and oh my God, I'm just like fully erect and leaking like a son of a bitch. And eventually I hear a door open at the end of the hall and, you know, a lady comes out and I'm like, okay. So I start walking down the hall, make it obvious I'm not working there.
You can just hear her still going. And the lady just got this look of disgust on her face. And I am not joking. When I got up to the front desk, you could still hear her going. Oh, my. She's like insatiable. You could never have, I mean, like no one could satisfy. She could have never been with one man. Well, eventually we ended up moving closer to her family. So I'm like a city rat. I grew up in the city. She's more rural. And the town we live in is like 1,500 people.
¶ Wife's Hypocrisy: Mike's Attempted Hookup
Wait, real quick, before you get into this next phase, one quick question. During all of this time, did anything ever come up about you hooking up with women considering she could have her cake and eat it too? A lot of people are thinking, a lot of guys don't like that conversation.
unfairness, right? She's getting to bang all these guys. Do you ever have any desire to be with other women? I forgot that one. Thank you for reminding me. Yeah. One of the places I work and a friend of mine, we became friends and his wife, they, we, they knew what was going on and she was like very intrigued and i made the comment to her she wanted to do something and i made the comment to my wife she's like this is your friend's wife
and i'm like i know and she's i don't think this is a good idea i was like okay so we kind of started goofing around and Never really fully got full sex. It dawned on me later on that every time something would start going on, my wife would kind of sabotage it in a way.
Oh, what a bitch. Let me just tell you, remember that guy. Okay. The first thing comes into my head, this is coming into other people said that remember that time she had a guy telling her to literally dump you so he could be with you. And you're like, I don't feel comfortable about you banging her. And she's like, I don't really.
cared she went and fucked him anyway but yeah when you want to do it she's like no she's a total hypocrite Okay, this holiday season, why not treat yourself and your partner to a motor bunny sex machine? I was gifted a motor bunny sex machine. And let me tell you, it is like my favorite toy to play with. Okay, it is so effing powerful. I have not even used the vibration all the way up to 10. But I was told I need to
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oh what a bitch let me just tell you remember that guy okay the first thing comes into my head this is coming into other people said that remember that time she had a guy telling her to literally dump you so he could be with you and you're like i don't feel comfortable about you banging her and she's like i don't really cared she went and fucked him anyway but yeah when you want to do it she's like no she's a total hypocrite no eventually like
The one night we almost went full bore and she was sucking me off. And then she got spooked and kind of called it off. And eventually some reason she told her husband. Why he wasn't in the now. No, he was not in the Nova. My mistake. I fucking betrayed my friend. Terrible. Yes, I know. And he calls me in and he's like, dude, I was like,
I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. And unfortunately, she was fucking around with others too, apparently. So it wasn't just me. She was a cheater, but you never went all the way with her. The furthest we ever went was she was giving me a head when she got spooked and finished it off. Did your wife know she gave you a hat? Was she cool with that? Yes. Okay. So now you guys move. So nothing ever though came up with any other women and you've never been with other women. She just was with a ton of guys.
No, but just real quick on that finish. When I was talking to my friend, my wife was screaming in the background. That bitch knew what was going on. She knew. I told him that wasn't smart. Because that's going to come into play later. Wait, what bitch knew what was going on? The girl I was screwing around with. Knew what was going on. My friend's wife. What did she know? She kind of tried to portray her wife that I kind of pressured her into it.
Oh, and that the wife didn't want to? Oh, and meanwhile she was cheating with a bunch of people. He knew her number. He got her number afterward and he found out. In all honesty, me and him are good. We're still friends. Yeah, that's cool. And your wife, though, is trying to throw her under the bus when she's kind of just like that girl. So eventually we moved to a smaller town and there wasn't a whole lot of opportunity to really do much.
¶ Lifestyle Ends, Moving to Small Town
much of anything we're still running the website kind of and as time went along i wanted everything to be perfect so if it didn't go perfect during the shoot or whatever was going on i'd be kind of bitchy uh-huh and but it pissed her off rightly it was like you know what i i'm not enjoying this and that was my mistake because i wanted it to be perfect but i couldn't keep my motion in check to try and make it perfect so it upset her and then she's like i'm done
i'm finished i don't want to do the site anymore i don't want to around anymore because we had gone back to our hometown my hometown to visit over a holiday weekend and i had gotten word that the guy that Had wanted her to leave me. Had wanted to meet her. Oh, they were still in touch? Yeah, they were still in touch. We were still friends. And I was like, yeah, let's do it. And she's like, I don't really want to. I kind of like, come on, come on. You haven't done anything for a while.
After that, she just got pissed. I'm done. And I don't blame her. I get it.
¶ Blame and Communication Breakdown
I fucked it all up. Why? I don't really get what you did that really fucked it up. She tried to, she could have, in other people's minds, she sounds like she fucked it up a billion times, but you didn't care. You didn't really sort of.
I was always wanting her to talk about her experiences. She wanted the balance. What was the balance? Me be the husband and... take care of her and make love with her and i'm always like how was that black guy tell me a story about such and such or let's visit this again and it just between that and me getting bitchy during the shoots and
all this other stuff it just pissed her off yeah but you know i wish she was on the phone because like somewhere in the middle of what she wanted and what you wanted
was okay. And you weren't really, you didn't really fuck things up. A big part of her going and playing with those people should be about you and her at the end of the day you're her primary partner when it becomes a totally separate thing that's when you have a fucking problem you know what i mean so you you're just trying to connect with her on those experiences and that's what you're getting out of them she's getting
a lot out of those experiences and then you're not supposed to get something out of them I'm sorry not fair I get what you're saying but I was like I realized I pushed too much well that's not cool either but let me just tell you she pushed to to get whatever the fuck she wanted the whole time how many it sounds like she begged a ton of guys and you didn't have one other person in your life and she got to do whatever the fuck she wanted sorry
No, I don't really want another person. I don't. Yeah, most cucks don't. Okay, most cucks don't. But I'm just saying, what did she expect? She should have been like giving you all of that considering the freedom you gave her. She obviously wanted a lot more dick than you and needed it. you gave it to her and allowed her to do all that stuff okay sorry she should have been cool with you asking about it sorry that's what i think i'm into fairness
I hear what you're saying. I do realize my part in it. Yeah, you're taking all the blame. That's the cuck in you, okay? It wasn't totally your fault. just saying yeah so like she shut down the website you know quit meeting people she told the guy is like hey you're fucking married take care of your wife i'm done
Okay, but let me just ask you this, because she just sounds like she was rolling a certain way, had a very high sex drive, needed a lot of dick in her life. Was there something else going on? Because I just don't believe anything you could have done at that point could have shut that down. for her? Was she going through menopause? Was she like, did her hormones tank or something? Like why all of a sudden does she need no one else? Good question. That's a question I've been asking myself.
¶ Wife's Sudden Shift, Therapy Begins
How old was she when this happened? We would have been about 31. Did you just have kids or anything? Maybe she just grew up. Maybe that was like a part of her younger crazy self when she got maybe started to take things more serious or something. I didn't realize we're still like all of that stuff happened just like in your 20s. So yeah.
yeah okay so yeah it was about 31 when she were done and then she was like okay that kind of makes sense maybe she just felt she grew up a little bit and just felt like oh i don't want to do that all that shit anymore so i had sought out a counselor and went started going and and eventually she came with me for a moment we went a little bit i'm like i'm sorry i was like i i went through an eap program from one of my jobs and
So I got some free as like, I don't know how much I can go after these free ones because I just can't afford it. And she's like, I'd rather you guys come talk to me and I'll write you off on a grant. That was so nice. I like therapists like that. I think that's super cool. She really was in it for the right reason. She really wanted to help you. Eventually, we thought we were at a good spot, so we quit going.
It didn't last long. We started arguing and bickering and bitching at each other again. And I was like, I'm going back to the therapist. She's like, you go ahead, figure your shit out. It's your problem.
you forced all this on me excuse me oh my god okay she has her own problems but you know what's everyone's ready to sort of face their shit at different times right you were really ready to deal with your shit she obviously wasn't ready to deal with hers at that point you know and sometimes that's just unfortunately the way that it is because obviously it's not just you okay but you want and you continue to go for therapy
I'm still in it. That's great. How old are you now, by the way? 46. Okay, so we're talking, you've been in therapy a long time. About 10, 11, 12 years maybe. Well, I used to go like once a week and I'm kind of a, every month to six weeks now, except for the bullshit that happened the last two years. But eventually there'll be occasional, you know, she, she won't.
will not talk about any of your stories she'll talk in generalities if we talk about eating black men or anything like that you know i'm getting to the point where my previous job wreaked havoc on my hips so like trying to do normal sex is damn near impossible some days because my hips are just so fucking sore and hurt and we're both getting older and it's just can we find some common ground and
And it's frustrating because I love her to death. I can't see anything different. And when everything like shut down. I had to take certain people off my Facebook and stuff. So one day I get a message from the girl I had messed around with, my friend's wife. I hear your wife's mad at me. I'm like, no, she's not mad at you. She's mad at me. I fucked things up, blah, blah, blah. She's like, well, I wish we could have met before our respective partners.
she's obviously still having issues with her guy she's saying shit like that well they were divorced by this point oh okay i was gonna say yeah they had been divorced a couple years i'm like well i appreciate that but you know what went through my head you wouldn't want to be with me. She's like, well, what do you mean? So I tell her. And her response was, I can't say I don't understand everything, but I'd do anything for you.
so I'm like well fuck I could have everything I want meaning like this is an opportunity that you can maybe cheat on your wife with this girl Or leave your wife for this girl? Yeah. I could have left and then had everything I want, but I'm like, I appreciate that. You would have been a good fuck, but I don't feel anything else for you. I just don't.
¶ Recent Hardships and Sister's Death
And so it's just been like the last 10 years is... Okay, let me ask you some questions because we got 15 minutes, okay? And you're at the end of your story, right? Literally nothing has happened since then. Let me ask you this. So after she shut it all down, right?
everything and doesn't even bring anything up what was and i mean you guys were bickering but you stayed together and everything you went through therapy she thought everything was your fault um like did you guys ever get back on track as far as like your relationship because it was bad at that point. It sounded like she stopped going to therapy, you continued. What has the 10 years been like? What has your relationship been like in the past 10 years?
pretty decent there's been spots fortunately with these last two years with what happened with my old job and the fact that I won't let them get away with what they did and the loss of my sister and Like life stuff, yeah. That I've been just so focused on that. In all honesty, the day... My sister was found. I had written my own note. Your sister killed herself? Yes. And then you wanted to kill yourself after that too? I had a plan.
I didn't know the stress from everything going on because there's days I felt like my heart was just going to explode on my chest from all the stress with my old job. And I had to walk away from that job. I loved it because nobody would address what was going on. How long ago is this? My sister was found in October, and I left in November. This past year? Yes. Oh, God. I would hope you would have started a lot of therapy after that.
I went back pretty regularly after that because I realized my sister is only three years older than my oldest kid. So she was very young and I... I promised to call her because we had first time in 15 years, all five of us kids had been together at a rancid funeral. And we got talking and she had a lot of things going on when she was younger too.
the thing that burped us and her donor and i was like we had kind of grown apart and talked too much and i was like i promised to call you start calling you and in the two months between that and I didn't because I was so damn focused on everything going on here. And I did a call on working that my little sister was dead.
yeah that's awful and so many people could relate to that kind of a thing with somebody in their life too because you're never thinking you know and you learn when stuff like that happens you learn to never take things for granted like that and to really think this kind of shit could happen and but we never think about it before it actually happens. So it's been a rough few months, but I realized all I've ever asked is to back me up, and she keeps telling me I need to give up on all this stuff.
getting apologies from what happened at my old job and you know the guilt I carry for my sister that you know I'm working through but it's just like I who knows if I called her maybe she'd still be here Hey, what's up y'all? Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. My favorite thing about the holidays...
Decking out my whole house. It's not a competition, but if it was, well, I'd win the season with Wayfair. Outdoor inflatable Santa. Got it on Wayfair. Trees, lights, and ornaments. Wayfair. Hosting must-haves like dining sets, beds, sheets, and towels. Wayfair. For everything in your style delivered with fast and free shipping, visit Wayfair.com or the Wayfair app to win the season. But again, it's not a competition. Wayfair, every style, every home.
¶ Wife's Lack of Empathy and Support
yeah no i mean like people that kill themselves it's it's deeper than that and probably wouldn't have changed but i get why you feel that way i mean look at like you were in a place where you were about to write a note it's kind of like delusional thinking when you're at that place like you're just so far gone it's a bad place to be it really is because it's like you you lose all hope and the fact that you were there did you talk that out with your wife
Every time we try and talk about it, it just kind of devolves into an argument. What's the argument? I just need to let it go. And I was like, I'm working on trying. It's not even been a year. And it only gets worse after someone dies, if you ask me. No. I'm trying. I can't just snap my fingers and be over everything. Let me put it this way. If someone said you personally were a piece of shit...
once you would let it roll off your back, but if somebody kept doubling down on that and trying to paint you as a shitty person, would you just let it go? It's... I worked very hard at that old job, and I loved what I did, and I had to walk away from it, and it broke my damn heart walking away from it. And I know I'm better off now because I have three-day off weekends. I have an old job. I work six days a week. It's just I'm trying, but...
It's just, can you be my wife and back me up instead of telling me, let it go, get over it. I was like, finally, just like about a month ago, I was like, I love you.
I don't see anything other than that, but I gave her my ring. I said, when you want to be my wife, you can come talk to me. I was like, I'm trying to not cause a lot of drama now because our one child leaves for college here in about... three weeks and the other one's getting married in a couple months so i don't want to have a ton of chaos right now but
¶ Host's Advice and Mike's Future
I don't know that I can keep going. And in all honesty, I don't want to do it a second time. What? Be married again? Yes. Right. But you don't want to be married because you think that marriage is what you have right now. You would want this again, but you don't know if you did it again. It wouldn't be with someone who's very loving and accepting. I don't know. You know, was the like, is there intimacy with your wife? Is she like.
most of the time kind to you does she nurture you and help you with other things or she just like because the way you're painting the picture just it sounds she sounds a little cold Most of the time we can get along as long as we're not talking about. Leave you alone. I'm not talking about leaving you alone. I'm talking about helping you out, being your partner, being there for you, that kind of thing. That's what I'm trying to figure out.
I don't know that it's going to survive. And that's breaking my heart, too, because we've been together 27 years, almost 28. Been through a lot with her. Yeah. And I was like, I sit here and I still dream about some of the shit that happened with her and other guys. And I have those visions in my head. And if I walked home and walked in the house now and she was riding somebody, I tore her. pour whiskey and sit down and just enjoy it.
Yeah, you had it made. And you had it made for a long time. And now you haven't had it in a long time. It is a slight sad ending to a good story. But listen, to me, even when it was happening... There was like a lot of red flags going on. Yeah, we didn't do it right. We were young. Yeah. Yeah. As I've gone on and I've come across your podcast and others, and I realized that, you know, we did so much wrong. It was ridiculous.
But you were young and dumb, like you said, because like when you told me, oh, she changed at 31, I'm thinking like, oh, yeah, like maybe she just grew up and she just didn't feel like doing all that crazy shit she did in her 20s. You grow and you evolve and you change as a person and she changed. into somebody that didn't want to do that anymore. But was your sex life for the past 10 years good between the two of you?
Mostly, yeah. Okay. Is it still good now or no? Most of the time by the time she comes to bed at night, I'm already dead asleep because I have to be up at 445 and she sits up until 2 o'clock in the morning because she doesn't go to work until 10.
So right now you're going through another rough patch. You don't want to leave her but you're not in a good place. You've had a lot of really bad things happen to you at once. And it would be really nice if she could be there more for you than you want. What you need is not for her.
to be saying to just fucking get over it like you're not over it yet for better or for worse whatever just because she thinks you're supposed to be you're not and instead of like really sort of dealing with the reality of it she's just hoping things will change and they're not and right now you need her to be more than what she's been you need her to be there for you you could use a little help right now thank god you have a therapist i really hope you're going at least once a week now
It's been about every couple weeks right now. Yeah, no, you should go more. You need more. You're going through a bad time in your marriage. You're thinking about like, should this ever last? Yeah, I have her...
work number so if I need her you should text me or call me or whatever so you need to be talking this shit out you went through a massive death in your life it brought up a lot of things for you you were practically suicidal you got this terrible thing go down at work you're missing your old life
in your 20s you're not happy obviously it doesn't sound like it and you're having some issues you're in a rough patch again in your marriage you guys have been through it before you've made it through like you're probably never going to leave her a lot of people never leave their people they stay forever. I don't know or maybe you will but you really should be talking about this stuff more. You need to. There's been a few days I've honestly thought about just grabbing my dog.
Yeah, you should go listen to a guy I had on recently, Evan. He married a woman who was way older than him and he was married to her for a really long time and they were in a sexist marriage and they did wind up ending. It wasn't a good ending, but he's like living his best life.
And I'm like, I'm like, there's a lot of guys that are like stuck in bad marriages. And there's a lot of women too. And nobody ever fucking does anything about it. And they just stay miserable for their whole life because they're afraid of change.
And you don't necessarily know that like most of the time, like you don't know what would happen on the other side of this. I don't know. I don't know what the right thing to do in your relationship is like work on your relationship. And I think right now you just need to work on yourself.
had a lot of things that have nothing to do with her happen to you. And you had a lot of things happen to you when you were younger that you should still be talking about because they probably affect how you feel now, right? It's trauma. So you still should really be up in your therapy game now. And because, listen, it's really hard when you don't feel great about yourself or you're not happy to make big decisions. And you might not be thinking properly when you're in that state.
But when you really get yourself back to feeling good and you start to feel better about yourself, that's when you might feel like you could make some choices. But you're only going to get that way with a get there with some help right now.
Because you don't have any and you need a little bit because you're at a tough time in your life. We've all been there when everything just like fucking piles on. It's not good what just happened to you. But just keep working on yourself and getting to be in a better place. Because then I think you'll see things a little bit more clearly. Like seriously, this is like a deep time in your life. Yeah.
You know, you're going to have to start, I think, and that's why therapy is good for you, because I think you need to really sort of have a voice for yourself more, really speak up for what you want and do what you want to do and be a little bit more selfish.
care of herself it sounds like she takes care of herself fine she does what the fuck she wants when she wants to as you should yourself and that doesn't mean disregarding your partner listen I'm gonna give her a break she was like in her 20s when she did all that shit I was a different person back then I was a lot more
selfish and stuff. But you do have to get your own voice and stand up for what you want and be firm about that. I think she has that down okay with herself, but you don't have that you're a little bit of a pushover. And you need to stick up for yourself more. And that's more about just finding your voice and being besides her being there for you you need to be there for you you need to take better care of yourself I think it's just I'm trying right now trying to get through
the college and the wedding and all that. And then it's like, we're going to have a come to Jesus moment. Yeah. But in the meantime, so you have a good come to Jesus moment and you have the balls to do what it is. And you're really clear headed work on yourself. Keep. Go back to therapy as much as you can. Talk about it.
try to get as clear as you can and try to work on as much stuff as possible and try to help yourself as much through this difficult time to get like a real grip and feel better about yourself so that when that time comes. You will take that window of opportunity to do something and you will talk and you will have a voice.
more of a voice than you've had in the past and you'll be clear about it because that's where you need to be because right now you're a little all over the place and like I said you're a little a little bit of a pushover and you don't want to get pushed around when the time comes for you to stand up with what for what you want
And listen, that might make her horny for you. You don't know. Just take care of yourself and get better, okay? And talk to somebody and keep working on yourself. I love your story. It's super interesting. It does have a depressing end, but this is real life, right? This is real life shit. And I like that. I like real life stuff. I'm never here to paint a picture that everything is great or anything. So thank you so much. What do we call you?
Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, thank you so much for calling in and sharing the story. It was super interesting. Lots of layers here and keep me posted and let me know how everything goes and make sure you get back in therapy. Okay. Gotcha. Thanks, Mike. Thanks for calling in.
¶ Show Conclusion and Book Promotion
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