Facing War and Loss: An Interview with Adam Macaluso

All right everybody i'm excited today we have an exciting guest who has a vast array of experience in the military federal law enforcement local law enforcement cyber you know has seen combat he is a retired lieutenant colonel from the marine corps he worked for the department of state and he worked for ramsey police department so he has like i said a vast array and working with foreign militaries foreign law enforcement heads of state and now looking

at you know moving into his retirement phase but adam macaluso buddy i appreciate you being on thanks man i appreciate you having me on bro this is like i i look at this as a big honor you let me be on this it's my first podcast so but i'm i'm psyched man this is this is awesome first of many because you You have amazing fucking stories and just getting to know you over the last few weeks.

I'm like, I got to have this guy on and I appreciate you jumping on, man. I'm excited to get into it. We're going to get you on because your stories are cool as shit, too. I'm slowly leaking them out, I guess. You know. You start these things, you always wonder, does anybody give a shit or even want to listen? So I'm excited to see that it's still growing. So I appreciate it. Yeah, that's awesome. Like I was never like a big podcast guy,

but when you said, Hey man, you want to get on? I'm like, yeah, man. And because I was like, before you even asked me to be on, I'm like, I'm going to start listening. Like, because I'm showing support to a buddy. Yeah. And so now, and now it's cool. Now I'm on a podcast. No, dude, I, I appreciate it. And you know, the big thing for me is, you know, capturing people's stories and experiences. Cause again, I, I have experiences, but they're limited.

So I'm always excited to hear, you know, people's lives and learn new shit and hopefully put it out there for people who have no concept but I like to start off with just kind of I'm fascinated with the idea of what upbringing somebody has that leads them into a life of military or law enforcement service and in your case you did both so can you talk a little bit about your upbringing what that looked like yeah so it you know it's weird I guess you know I had a pretty you

know I kind I came from an upper middle class family man my dad was is a retired doctor you know, Grew up in a decent-sized house. My mom didn't work, a brother and sister.

And I'd always been fascinated with the military. I don't know. I always loved it. My dad was not in the military. The only person in my family that was in the military was my grandfather who passed away before I was born. He was a doctor, too, and he was in World War II. But it's weird because my dad never tried to steer me away from it. My mom wasn't crazy about it. But my dad was like, you know, my dad was all about, like, get a good job that that, you know,

that that pays well. He didn't care if you're happy or not. He's like, get a good job that that you that, you know, you can pay the bills with. So he was always supportive of it. My mom wasn't. But, you know, like, yeah. But then, you know, my dad turned on me, too. I'll get more into that. And, you know, my dad, you know, my dad was really smart. My dad and my my sister is really smart.

My dad went to med school in Italy, went over there not speaking the language, did med school, learned another language, and I would have never been able to do that. My brother was an okay student. My sister was a straight-A student, and then there was me. I graduated high school with a 1.9 GPA, and then I bounced around colleges and stuff. I was still immature, and I was into the partying scene in college. I just wanted to party. And that's I didn't care about school.

And, you know, I remember it was like a few years in and I think it got to the point because my dad said with us, he says, hey, I'm paying for four years of school for each of you. And that's it. No more, no less. And it got to the point and I was and I was putzing around and he's like, OK, here's here's the financial aid forms. You're going to start paying next semester, you know, because you're not done yet. And I told you four years, you know, he did that with my sister.

My sister went to law school. She paid she you know, she took that loan. She paid it all off. I mean, I lived in my parents' height, you know, I was still like, you know, they didn't kick us to the curb or anything, but, you know, like I said, I can't say like, oh, my parents are horrible and this is what turned me to go to the military.

But I remember I, yeah, I remember like hanging out and like talking to girls in the bar and stuff like that and like hanging out with my buddies and everybody's like, yeah, like girls would be like, what do you do? I'm like, I didn't want to be like, I'm still in college, man. You know, I'm still, you know, I would be. And then I was just at the point, I'm like, you know what? I'm like, I'm like, screw this, bro. I've always wanted to do it. So I remember I was like, I just went and I talked

to, because I, you know, I went in as an officer. I wasn't enlisted. So I didn't really go to a recruiter. It's an OSO, it's called. It's an officer selection officer for the Marine Corps. So I just, I went to it and, you know, and I think I told you this, man. And I was never like, I didn't play sports in high school. I went to the gym. That's about it. You know, I was never like in big with running or anything like that. So started getting myself in shape.

And I remember when I started telling people, I'm like, yeah, I'm going to the Marine Corps. They're like, what? You're stupid. And stuff like that. So then. Well, what made you choose the Marine Corps over all the other branches? I don't know, man. I just always loved it. I remember the funny story. I don't think I tell many people this. I remember, you know, because we're close in age. Remember home economics, like in school?

Yep. And we had home economics and we had to do like, we had to sew like a little pillow. I sewed this little pillow, olive drab with black letter and saying USMC on it. I was in sixth grade. And I'm just like, you know, I guess I got caught up in the Marine Corps propaganda. Yeah, fair enough. The best service and everything, I guess, you know, and just like, you know, watching like the Sands of Iwo Jima and, and, you know, full metal jacket and seeing movies like that.

Like I always just loved, I mean, I always loved the military. I loved it. I loved camouflage. I worked growing up and everything. And I don't know, I just want to go to the Marine Corps. I always want to, to be a grunt. Actually, I was actually thinking, I'm like, maybe, maybe I'll try and be a pilot and everything. And then I'm like, and then I was like, nah, you know what?

And I, you know, when I, When I started going, because when you go to the Marine Corps, you say you go to, if you get accepted to OCS or ROTC. So there's three ways to be commissioned. It's through the Naval Academy. It's through Naval ROTC. Actually, there's more than three ways. You know, Naval Academy, OCS, Naval ROTC.

And then you can do, you know, you can do ECP, Enlisted Commissioning Program, or MESEP, Marine Corps Enlisted Commissioning Program, where you are an enlisted guy or gal and you get selected to go to college and your full-time job is to finish getting college and then you can get commissioned after that um and one of my buddies is that like usually that's like shit hot marines and my buddy like is shit hot like he was in the below zone for general and i think he pulled himself

out of it he's still and he's a full bird, and you know i learned a lot from him i'll go more into that so then you do that and then you know and i still had a semester of college so i did ocs which was an ass kicker i'd never really done anything like that in my life and it was just like it wasn't as much as the mental mind fuck as boot camp is for the enlisted guys they just it physically they just run your ass to the ground man it's yeah and then they they put you in

a lot of like leadership billets for like a couple days and you know it's it's you know all you're doing is getting yelled at because no matter what you do, you're still going to get yelled at. Even if you do it right, you're still going to get yelled at. Oh, yeah. So then I graduated. I got commissioned. My dad was happy. My mom didn't want. I mean, my parents supported me. They did. And I got commissioned. And at the time when I got commissioned, I got commissioned in early February 2000.

There was no... The Marine Corps, the only way you could be a reserve officer in the Marine Corps is you had to come in and do active duty time and then go to the reserves. You couldn't do that. So... And, but the Marine Corps changed that like in 07, 08. And you talked to a lot of guys that I came in around that time and we're not fans of it. It's just, it's, it's, it's nothing against them.

You learn a lot when you're active duty as an officer, you get a lot of like mentorship from like higher ups and, you know, your platoon sergeants and enlisted guys and stuff. So, you know, it's, it's just, I wasn't offended. So I went in. So then you go to this thing called the basic school.

Okay. And that's six months. That's where all officers in the Marine Corps go, even if you're a pilot, lawyer, anything, no matter what you're going to do, every Marine officer goes to the basic school. And it's six months, and most people hate it, but, like, I had the time of my life there. Because part of the reason I had such a good time is, like, I had a really good staff platoon commander who was a captain at the time. He's actually a one-star general now. I still keep in touch with him.

Just an awesome officer and a naval academy guy just like a stand like an all-around guy what you would think of like an awesome officer is treated everybody fairly wasn't a jerk you know was a was a stud but like just a nice guy and then i had a lot of these like a lot of my buddies were all prior enlisted guys and they were all prior grunts like my one buddy's a colonel in marsoc my other buddy was a colonel a mu commander

you know a couple guys that were grunts that went over to be pilots because they didn't want to be a ground pounder anymore. But so you go in and you don't have an MOS. The only people that have MOSs are lawyers. And then there's air and ground contracts. So if you're an air contract, that means you're going to go to flight school. But if you don't pass it, they send you back to the ground side. And then you may be, oh, I want to be a pilot.

Oh, well, you're going to go be a ground supply officer now or something like that. Like some guys I knew, some guys got lucky. They like, I knew a guy that was an F-18 pilot. I know. And, you know, he, you know, the get jets, you got to be good. He was good, but he just couldn't take the maneuvering his inner inner ear. Like he couldn't do like dog fighting ACM. So he got transitioned over to Intel. So he, he locked out, but other people I know got like supply and logistics.

And those were things nobody, like some people want logistics. And like I, one of the best officer I ever met is a guy I know from, I was in Central America with, he was a logistics officer. Phenomenal, phenomenal guy could supply, like he could have supplied the Eastern front in World War II, they would have had full ammunition and everything. That's how good he was. Yeah, this is important especially when you're moving soldiers around all over the world.

Yeah, yeah, it's huge. So you go there and you do these wish lists when you're there. I don't remember how many when I went. There was like 20-something MOSs you can pick from. And when I went, the TBS company was probably over 250 guys and gals. And there was like 30 infantry spots. And, you know, this is pre 9-11 and stuff like that. And, you know, like a lot of tough guys like I'm going to go infantry and stuff like that.

So I was like, I don't know what I want to do. I really I really didn't know much. I love the military, but I didn't know much. And then at first I had artillery. I wanted to do artillery was my good buddy. Bill was an artillery enlisted guy as an artillery guy. Then he transitioned, became a grunt and reconnaissance guy. And then, you know, he became an officer. And he's like, he's like, I love artillery. If I got if I get artillery leaving TBS, he goes, I'll be happy.

But I was like I really like the grunt stuff I really liked being you know being in the woods moving and and just being miserable and because I was actually pretty decent at it like I was never like you know officers always is like oh you got to be the fastest runner and this I was never the fastest runner dude I was slow as shit but I I but I but I I wasn't I wasn't a bitch man I hate to say it like i put my gear on and i moved you know i i i was in

pain and stuff like just you just suck it up and you just move man you just do it well you let me jump in so you did bring up a point about the pilot stuff and then the marine corps stuff but like you know people have these dreams of doing certain things but some this shit's hard on your body man and sometimes you just don't have the genetic makeup to do it through no fault of your own it's not you know You're not a bitch or anything. It's just, hey, look, genetically, I can't do this.

I always thought I wanted to be a pilot until I was 6'5", and I realized, yeah, they're not going to custom fit a fucking fighter jet for this big ass. Not that I ever joined the military, but you start realizing certain things are just not in the cards for you. And then the one thing I think, and correct me if I'm wrong, both my parents are Marines, so I was indoctrinated in Marine Corps ideology as well. But every Marine is a rifleman. It doesn't matter if you're,

you know, a lawyer or a doctor or whatever. If you're in the Marines, you're a rifleman. And, again, I might be saying things that aren't making sense. I think the doctors are all maybe, but whatever it is. But if you're in the Marine Corps and you wear a Marine uniform, you are a fucking rifleman. Yeah. So we're going to get into that in a little bit. Yeah. You know, so it's funny because I have a good story about that. And, you know, so we'll get to that in a second.

So I'm at TBS, and, you know, it's like they have this thing called O&D Week, Offense Defense Week, and, you know, you're getting hazed by captains, you know, and it was miserable. It was raining and everything, but it was like we're doing war games. But I'm like, dude, I used to play this in my backyard woods. Now I'm like I have blanks, and I'm actually doing stuff, and I have radios. It's like, dude, now I'm getting paid to do this. Yeah, I'm fucking doing it.

Yeah, it was awesome. So I come back after OD week and it's like the middle of about like three, three months in the TBS, maybe four months in, like three months. And so, you know, this is this is dating us, man. So we would put our our we would do our our MOS list, military occupational specialty list on three by five index cards and hand them in. So I'm like, oh, hey, it was Captain Pretty. Now he's pre-order to General Pretty now.

At now i'm like that pretty i'm changing my my mos list he's like oh you didn't like he was joking he's like i go no sir here i changed it so i had artillery first originally so i gave him a card like from 1 to 25 just said infantry the whole thing he goes okay he goes okay i get it so yeah message received yeah so you know and then like i mean it's stressful you're like you're like shit man am i gonna get it because you know there's like certain guys guys in the top 10 are going to get

their MOS, no matter what. And then they do this three-tier system, like it's called a quality spread. And I was in the second tier, like I said, man, I was an average person. But I got good ratings from my fellow Marines in the platoon. And I put my heart and soul into it and day comes down and like, you know, Lieutenant Macaluso, 0302 infantry. I'm like, yes.

So and there was people that were pissed that people that were like by far better pt-ers than me and stuff like that and and you know there's like there's like there's envy and stuff like normal human emotions yeah so i was i was excited you know like my all my buddies bill matt all these guys all got grunts we all like there was like from my platoon at tbs like 10 of us got infantry which was pretty impressive, and then you know and then after that you have to go to infantry officers course

which was I don't remember eight weeks maybe ten weeks and it's a straight up ass kicker so I went we go to that and that was miserable. And they straight up fucking hazed us. They hazed us. And, I mean, you shoot, you shoot, you fight. You're literally ground fighting, boxing, like it seemed every day. You know, they're jackassing us and doing shit. I mean, I learned a lot, bro. You learn. I mean, they teach you.

Well, let me ask you this. I'm sorry to interrupt, but I just want to jump in because I've heard stories, you know, butter bars is what they call them. And they're kind of as soon as I want to say this respectfully, but, you know, not I don't want to say less than, but you're like, oh, this fucking guy. And actually, well, they don't know shit. They got, you know, they only have butter bars because they have a degree or whatever. And now they're trying to lead us.

And and again, I'm not in the military. This is just stories from the inside and things like that. But I want to kind of pose this. You went from like you said, you were, you know, college partying, jumping around. and now you're a lieutenant in the Marine Corps, infantry. Your job is now to lead men potentially into war and you actually ended up doing that. Yeah. There needs to be some sort of respect that, hey, this dude's been through some shit too and a respect level.

Do you feel like maybe that's what that was a part of or what's your view of that? Yeah, yeah. You know, it's funny. So I'm going to jump ahead really quick. Yeah, go ahead. I'm going to jump ahead when I was with the State Department, Diplomatic security. I'm in Iraq in 2008. Second time I'm in Iraq with the State Department. And I was on the day they sent agents. There was like after that Blackwater incident in 2007. So they sent and they put DS agents, one with each Blackwater team.

And now an aside, my experience with Blackwater was all positive, man. And I worked with some absolute professionals, you know, even guys that did a four year hitch or like regular infantrymen in the Army and Marine Corps, absolute professionals. So that's my experience with it. I have to say that there's there's Yahoo's everywhere. So, yeah, I was like, I always like putting that out because a lot of guys I worked with were were shit hot.

But I remember. So I was supervising this TST, the tactical support team. So, you know, Blackwater had the contract for State Department and they would do all the high threat protection, like taking like USA State Department employees, all government employees out in Baghdad helping, you know, work on the government. I did like FAA people, an undersecretary, you know, people through USAID and stuff like that. But the TST teams would like go out and post somewhere in Baghdad in case like

a motorcade got attacked. They would go try and bail it out. You know, we were in Bearcats and we had, you know, two forties and, and I don't know if we had Mark 19s. I think, you know, we had a lot of weaponry, you know, it was like, 12 or 15, 12 or 15 man team. And, you know, and, and, and I remember I go to assist with this other team and there's this guy, he's a retired army sergeant first class, which is equal as an E7, equal to a gunnery sergeant.

And, and the guy had been in, you know, the guy was, was legit, but my God, he constantly is like, Oh, you know, like, you know, you know, I used to have to help butter bars in the army and this and that. He's always bad, like busting balls about lieutenants. And I'm like, yeah, okay, bro. That's the army. I know because the army doesn't have the basic school. They don't do like the Marine Corps does. And there was this guy, he was a former scout sniper in the Marine Corps.

And his nickname was Johnny Ringo. I don't know how he got Johnny Ringo, but he was a nice guy, quiet guy. He was what you would think a sniper is, bro. Just cool, calm collective.

And he's like, and I forgot the guy's name that was busting my balls he's like yeah this and that and he goes right johnny ringo you know you always had to take care of officers and lieutenants and stuff like that and johnny ringo like i had like said hi to him that's it he goes he goes nah i i never had that problem in the marine corps he goes all the officers i ever had were knew what they were doing they were they were good he goes maybe

that's the army but not the marine corps and that shut the dude up i remember that and that made me so happy uh good good so but you're right so you go through infantry officers course and you know, a shit ton of tactically but you know nothing administratively in the marine corps and okay and you know with from your background and stuff paperwork makes the dream work you know it does so you know so like you don't know anything but part of it is like like i also learned how to be.

A Marine from like a lot, a lot of my enlisted buddies, that guys that they were officers, but they were prior enlisted. I learned how to be a Marine. And the one thing I always learned was like, just to treat them like Marines, man. And treat them like nice people, treat them like people, how I want it to be treated. And I think that made me, that made me money.

Like I was, I got along with, when I got to my first battalion, I was like, I like treating guys like, Like, I didn't have anything to prove. Yeah. You know, and like I like to say, like I went through infantry officer's course. I had my rib broken, man. I got it broken boxing and then we went did ground fighting and the guy threw me and I had all my gear on. I landed on my canteen and he's like, oh, because I was like, oh, he hurt a crack. And I sucked it up, you know, it hurt like hell, man.

And I mean, there was times I wanted to just cry, but I'm like, I'm not redoing this course. Yeah. Oh, and I always like to tell this story. So when you get the infantry officer, of course, there's the common endurance test. It's like, is it common? There's an in-doc. You have to take this test the first day. It's a physical test. And when I went, you know, this is pre-9-11, before the height of Iraq. You, they say, if you fail it, you come in every Saturday till you pass it.

And I'm like, I'm not failing this thing. I go and, you know, you, you have the ground flight in it. You have to land nav. You have to like, like run. You're in, you're in your gear the whole time, like double O courses, like more than once. And, you know, they, at the end of the day, you get there and you get to the classroom and they're like, all right, these names. And they, they, they start listing names and they're like, Macaluso.

They're like, all right, everybody that we just listed, you guys passed it. Everybody else, next Saturday, you got to come here. And I was like, yes. And I remember, yeah, and there was dudes there that were PT studs, man, that like 300, and they didn't pass it. I was like, damn. So, you know, that always should prove to me, like, all right, man, just have heart, and you just put into it, and you can do it.

And, you know, I hate to say it, like, I don't act like I'm the toughest dude in the world, but the big, and And Tyler, you know, it's like, don't be a bitch, man. That's really the thing. Just don't be a bitch. Well, I've talked about this on some other episodes. Again, I'm not prior military or anything like that, but law enforcement wise. And I've talked about it. The biggest stress for me was always these like PT, like you have to pass these things.

And it's graded on standards. Somebody else is watching you. And I enjoy working out. and I've had many agencies I worked for where, again, I was never a PT stud as far as testing goes, but then we would do, you know, group fitness, group workouts, whatever. And several instructors are like, Martin, I don't understand. You crush it in the gym. Your energy, you're fucking happy, you're hyped. We love the fucking energy and then we get to test day where you got to do the test and what happened?

I was like, I don't know. I just don't like this part of it. Yeah, dude, you just got to push through and it sucks and I hate it. Yeah. It's a logical thing, man. It's like you're being graded in like you're like, damn.

You're like, damn. Like someone with you like i know i can slug a lot of weight up and and and stuff like that but like like you know how some of these places are like oh you're slow you can't run so that means you're a piece of shit no man i had marines that were slow and and they were some of the best marines i've ever seen just because someone can run doesn't mean it doesn't make them like the be all end all of some dude you're preaching you're preaching my language again i'm

not knocking people who like to run or want to run or are great at running i'm just saying that you need both sides you need someone to be able to go catch the guy and then you need that guy that can rip the dude's fucking arm off you need both exactly so i i remember so when i got out to the fleet i had this company commander man and he was a machine i watched him do 37 dead hang pull-ups perfect 30 and the last two were the only ones he shaped on you know always at 300 300 is a

perfect pft always at 300. And i was his executive officer and and he never gave me shit that i couldn't but he knew i would like i would go at lunch i would go swim i can like when he hiked like like i was there like you know like he he knew i i i i could could could hang yeah but it was always hard to get a read on him but i remember he promoted this kid to corporal that wasn't like the abominent of fitness like which like he didn't even look like like what you would think of a marine,

but he was a good kid yeah and i and i said to him i said hey sir how come you you know you promote like i'm not saying he goes you know i i always thought like you were big with like you know you want guys that are like you know high first class pfts he goes he goes you know why i promoted him because i've come in on a couple saturdays to to to do paperwork and stuff and And, you know, I've seen him running the ridge, knocking pull-ups.

And he goes, that's all I want. I just want someone to put the effort in, you know. That's it, and that's a big thing in the Marine Corps. I mean, there's guys that are like, oh, you suck because you can't run a sub-18, but there's also guys like, you know, okay, all right, man, you didn't quit. You know, you crawled across the finish line, but you did it. Yeah, you puked after you got through it, but you fucking finished it.

Well, I want to be respectful of your time, but I definitely got to get into wartime because, again, once again, here you are, right, college kid or whatever, Floating around, getting in the military, you're now leading men, and then boom, wartime happened. So now shit is real. You're not just a practice hero. Now you're fucking doing it for real. Yeah, I was in Okinawa when 9-11 hit. We were deployed, and we're like, we're going to fucking war.

You know, everybody's like, we're going to Afghanistan. We're going to Afghanistan. You know, we get back, and it's like, you know, it's in the tea leaves, man. You're going to Iraq. We trained like it was going out of style. We blasted through, and that summer we blasted through like two or three years over our battalion's ammo allocation in like a month and a half. And, you know, and we're getting closer, I remember, and it's like, you know, it's December, like we know we're going somewhere.

And, you know, they're like the packing list come out, and they're like, have your stuff packed. And so I remember we're sitting there, and they're like, okay.

They're like, we're leaving. we're we're we're leaving tonight we're going to march air force base and we're going to fly out and i'm like holy shit man this is fucking real yeah and you know and we've been doing all these briefs like the the iraqi army capabilities and you know like all this training to recognize their their stuff and so so we're like you know we get on the plane we fly to kuwait and then we're we get to kuwait at the end of january and like there

there was no ifs hands or buts we knew that like, diplomacy was not going to work we knew that our administration at the time wanted to fucking roll in there and you know so you know we're getting ready and i'm like man i i i had including myself 57 guys when we when we crossed the border and it's it's nerve-wracking man and and to add to it you know we had there was a big chemical threat so we're in mop suits which is like the chemical suits.

So that was like my, my, the biggest thing in the radios. We had these, what is it? 119s, man. Jeez, I'm getting old. The big ones, right? Yeah, the bigger ones. Yeah, the big heavy ones. And with the, and it would beep with the encryption. And I'm, I was always paranoid going beep and going gas, gas, gas. Never. I was nervous. I'm not going to lie. Like if it was like, you know, we're like contact front or something like that. Okay. That's like your training kicks in. Yeah. And.

And, and that was always my paranoid thing, but like getting into combat, I remember like we rolled across the border and, you know, I, I remember, you know, I see the black smoke and I'm like, holy shit, bro. This is like those videos from the first Gulf war. And, and then this is me. And then there's like a bunch of T-55s burning on the side of the road. I remember that there was one, and I wish I took a picture of this, but I guess I didn't, I was, I don't know if I was scared or,

or whatever, but I remember we're going by this. We cross across the border. Well, going across the border, literally, we cross across the border. And then Abrams had hit one of our tanks that hit a tank mine and its track was fucked up. So they were fixing it. But I remember these ladies were carrying this Iraqi kid and they tripped and his insides just spilled out. He was dead. I'm like, oh, I'm like, I'm like, this is real, dude. This is this is real.

And, you know, we we we go and make a right to where we're going and we're in Amtrak's. And I remember we're passing those on the left is this T-55 tank and it's burning and it's this black smoke. Like it was like Soviet tanks and stuff like that. They they burned really. They they were like flame hazards and stuff. And I remember this tanks burning and in the TC, the terror, the, you know, terror commander, his hatch. There's a fucking skeleton sitting there.

He must have been killed instantly because he still looked like you know you see in the movies where like the tank commander is standing out and it's this, maybe it's been diluted in my mind over this but from what I remember man it was the blackest smoke and that skeleton was as white as could be I remember and I'm like holy shit this is real.

We go and we do our first mission and all this stuff, but I remember, I don't think it was until, I don't remember exactly the first time, like, actually pulling the trigger, but I remember I was in the TC, and we're getting engaged by Iraqi Army regulars, not the Republican Guards or something, and I remember I'm, like, fucking my handshake, and I'm like, fuck, I'm scared, man. Rightfully so, I think, yeah. Yeah, in every arena, everybody's scared.

If someone says they're not scared, they're lying. I mean, I talked to Delta guys and they said, yeah, everybody's nervous. You just, you keep it in check, man. That's, that's how, that's how you do it, you know? And I remember, I remember my hands shaking my left hand. I'm right-handed and I'm like, fuck, I can't, I'm trying to engage these guys from the Amtrak. So I have to, I slapped it on the, the, the, the metal.

I'm like, fuck, stop. And I like, okay. And then I went back and like started engaging targets and shit like that. And like, because the training kicks in. like everything kicks in. But yeah, it was like, you know, combat is like, and I'm, I'm the first a minute, man. I mean, I got buddies that saw a shit ton more combat than I ever did. You know, I mean, like, like literally up close and personal, like in, in, in Iraq and in Afghanistan.

And so, I mean, I mean, I saw combat, I was in it, but nothing to like a lot of my buddies like, and, and, you know, it's funny because I still feel guilty to this day that I didn't didn't see like as much as them like you know because when i when i went to when i was out when i went i was like out i was a cop and that's when i volunteered to go to afghanistan and i remember one of my buddies he's like what do you do man you already did your time i'm like i'm like i feel guilty

bro i mean other guys are going like i mean i should go he's like you did your time though i'm like yeah but like i'm i'm still able i'm still a marine i you know i want to do it so it was like Like it was, it was like you, that was like, my thing was like, I remember because, you know, like I make no illusions. I go to the VA, I talk to the psychiatrist and stuff. And I remember one of the things I always talked about was like.

Like, I feel guilty that I, that, like, I always wish engaged more targets and it was in more combat. But then I'm like, well, I never got shot or get killed. And then I didn't lose any guys under my command. And that's a big thing. Like, you know, I know buddies that lost guys. And, you know, it's, I mean, everybody knows you join the Marine Corps. You want to go fight. You want to fucking go kill bad guys.

That's what the officer enlisted. that that's what guys want to do man they want to do that but it's it's still like losing guys it's like you know so i remember so i i got i was cross decked to it like i wasn't like a senior lieutenant in my battalion and then another battalion i got cross decked over there to go with another lieutenant because we had too many lieutenants and i remember i went to the battalion commander i'm like this is bullshit he goes like

mac i tried to fight it like you're not a shit bagged we know that you know so you know my my battalion commander walked me down to that battalion before we you know go in there and then go into iraq yeah and i i still keep in touch with him to this day ship and now i completely forgot what i was just going to say this is this is my old age catching it's all right man well let's go do you got it or no no go it'll it'll come back man that's all right good good

i know because your career it's not it's not convoluted but it's impressive because like you said you had already done your time but you were on reserve status and you were a cop but let's kind of backtrack a little bit so after the marine corps, was it the department of state or u.d like how did that flow so so i was like you know i had always wanted to do i always wanted to be a cop too growing up and i was but i always want to have military and then go be a cop you know so

so i started applying to like all the federal agencies. I was living in Arlington at the time. You know, I was still on active duty and I got sent to the Pentagon. That's part of the reason I left active duty. That place is like soul sucking. Yeah. And so I was and I always wanted to go to DS. I always like DS sounds so freaking cool and this and that. And and I was happy that I and I got it, man. I got it. I got in the first shot because, you know, man, you went through the whole federal

high process. It's a crapshoot. Like some people get it the first shot. Some people have to take like three, four times, but they get it. You know, it's you know, it's whatever the way the freaking wind is blowing that day.

So I was excited. I timed it perfectly. I got to DS, I was coming off active duty, I was on terminal leave, and I started, and you know, I go to Fletzi, and then do the basic special agent training, and I wanted to stay in DC, because I had met my now wife at the time, and she was a teacher down there, but the guy who did assignments was from the town next to me, up in Jersey, he's like, I hooked you up, I'm like, huh, you kind of didn't

hook me up, I wanted to stay here. Yeah, you kind of fucked me.

Yeah, so I got sent to the New York field office, which is in Fort Lee, New Jersey, but and but it was cool it was like it was a lot of protection which i mean you know you you know a lot more about protection than me but with ds what was cool man is that you like you know they're, truly a global law enforcement agency because they're you know there's rso's and the regional security officers in every embassy and and you could do these like tdy's to like iraq and Afghanistan and stuff like that.

So at the time, our sack at the office was only letting guys go to high threat training that were former military or cops, because he was a former Marine in, I think, the early 80s. So, you know, I put in and I got it. So the State Department at the time had this awesome high threat training program. It's like drinking from a fire hose. And like, if you were in the military, you were okay.

But if you never did law enforcement or anything, it's like, holy shit like you're shooting you know they had two former delta guys running the training the they had a former green beret uh an 18 delta who was a medic and it was also a seer instructor i mean these guys were like you think of like professional these guys like wrote the book on it yeah like like the nicest dudes man the one of the delta guys was like he was like like i mean This dude's a stud, and he's like, all right, hey,

I'm going to work on some stuff with you, and you can talk to him about – he just wanted to help you. He just wanted to train you. A lot of the firearms guys are all former Marines, former snipers and stuff, so they train you up really good. Well, that's what you want, especially if you're going into a high threat. Yeah.

Sorry, let me jump in real quick. A lot of people don't know what the Department of State, like what you did, because they only hear about it on the news or, you know, politics or whatever. Like, you know, Rubio's going around, you know, trying to make deals in wartime. They don't understand what the Department of State encompasses. So, like, what all do they do and what did you do?

So diplomatic security, we like the the criminal aspect of the investigation stateside is passport and visa fraud and then protection protection of foreign dignitaries below the head of state. Like, you know, Secret Service gets all like the presidents and heads. We would get like the foreign ministers and stuff like that. Yeah. So we did a lot of that. Well, you know how it is, bro. A lot of it's smoke

and mirrors like some of these. I'm like, why are we guarding this person? The minister of corn. Yeah, exactly. And then I told you about the story about the one lady. She was a prosecutor in Italy, and the mafia had death threats on her, and she did war crimes prosecution in Serbia and stuff like that, and they give her, like, two agents. I'm like, come on, bro. This is, like, legit. But they do all the – they are, like, the chief law enforcement agent officer.

They do the security for the embassies overseas, And they do like liaisons with the host nation police, and they work with the FBI, DEA. They have people in those offices. They do a lot with getting criminals, extradition, and stuff like that. And they do a lot of protection overseas, especially in Iraq, Afghanistan. Remember, this is like the 07, 08 timeframe. Pakistan, stuff like that. So... I'm like, dude, this is, I'm like, I'll go do it. I mean, I was a Marine.

I'll go freaking slug through downtown Baghdad, which is, now I look back at it. Like, I'm like, holy shit, man. I didn't have any flame resistant stuff on. And like, I'm like, you're in armored vehicles, but like the DOD wouldn't even let their people go in state vehicles because it wasn't up to standard. Yeah. Like an IED would have just vaporized anything. But we don't think about that. Yeah. But we did high threat protection over in Baghdad, in country, in Iraq.

So like I remember I had an undersecretary for Near Eastern Affairs. I took him up to like Mosul. You know, we were like in Huey's and like took him to Pasra. Like I guarded him. I was the agent in charge for that. Like in that we had a Blackwater team and that Blackwater team was shit hot. The shift leader, the second in command, was a 22-year veteran of SEALs, and the dude had, like, his clothes were immaculately pressed every day.

Like, he was legit. The other guy was, like, a former Green Beret who was, like, you know, he had the beard, but, like, dude, he was, like, professional. Like, the sniper I had was a former Marine Corps scout sniper, and he was, like, you know, he looked like the typical, like, Marine tatted up and everything. But he was like, he would still like call me, sir. I'm like, dude, what are you doing? He goes, we're equal. I'm Adam. I forgot what his name was, but I'm like, shut the fuck up and call

me. Like, you know, he's like, all right. You know, because he was like, yeah, like still, like still amazingly professional. And so I did a lot. That was fun, man. I love doing high threat protection. You know, you're, you're, you know, I got a SIG, I got an M4. I, people would think we were like Blackwater or, and stuff like that. I'm like, no, I'm a special agent with the United States government, man. Yeah.

And that was awesome. The reason I left DS was so, you know, my, my wife, we came up here, she got a job teaching at the time. It was tough getting a job in Jersey teaching. And I felt guilty. Like, I'm like, like, is this fair that I'm, I'm going to drag my wife all over the world? She, you know, she'd already been teaching like six or seven years at this time. She had a master's degree, has a master's degree. And I'm like, it's kind of unfair. So I started, I'm like, all right,

well, I'll just become a cop. And I always wanted to do that. So...

Oh, no. And I love it. Before we get on the cops tension, you told me a story about, I can't remember if it was Iraq or Iran, but you were in an embassy or something and there was a minister or an official and they were all, the guards were being real squirrely. What was that story? I love that story. So that that was that was the Ministry of Foreign Affairs in Baghdad. So at the time it was I forgot his name, but he was he was a Kurd foreign minister.

And I had guarded him like a bunch in New York City a few times. And he was like a very nice guy. Like he fought Saddam in the 80s, you know, during the Iran-Iraq war. He was up in northern Iraq fighting and against Saddam's army. Big dude. But like he was a warrior back then, you know, I mean, now he looked like just a warrior at the buffet table. But listen, yeah, I'd still I'd give him an AK back in the day. And I think he's since passed, but he was like a nice guy like he.

And so I'm guarding this undersecretary for Near Eastern Affairs who was Lawrence Butler. Amazing guy, man. Amazing. Just like utmost professional. And like I would like you, you know, and you know, like most people, you're like, are you going to take a bullet for them? Yeah, sure. Wink, wink. this guy would like make sure he's getting out of the X and I'll take around for him to get him home safe because that's how good of a guy he was.

So he's going to have a meeting with the foreign minister. So we get there and it's me and Mike, the shift leader. And, you know, I got armor. I got like a shirt on and I got my SIG and some magazines. I don't have my chest rig and my M4 and all that stuff. So we go up there and look. And these Iraqi security guys, they all come out, they're in their European-type suits, and they all got AKs with their airborne folding socks on them. And they're like mean-mugging us. I'm like, okay.

And they're not talking to us and everything like that. And we get up there, and they're like, wait here. So I'm there, and I'm right by the ambassador butler. And all of a sudden, more security guys come, and then the foreign minister comes out. Like I said, these guys are mean-mugging us. They're not talking to us. And they're being respectful to Ambassador Butler, but like me and Mike,

they're like, oh, yeah, whatever. OK. And and and foreign minister comes walking by and he looks at me and his face lights up and he comes over and gives me this big bear hug. And he's and he he said how I asked how I was doing and stuff like that and then went in the room. I look over and all these Iraqis, man, they all these dudes that were like, you know, trying to act all tough.

They all have this like astonished look they're like how do you know him i'm like i i guarded him in in in new york city a number of times and they were like oh after that we we uh we were like we were like the princess there they like oh they're bringing us food and tea and and they're like oh this is great like it was the funniest thing because the and it was just like you know one minute they're like ready to skin like behead us we're going to be on a video on agor.com and

then the next minute like we're hanging out partying they're like here's my daughter marry her and stuff oh geez yeah so it was good and you know because then like some of his other staff came out they're like oh adam what are you doing here they're like last time i saw you it was new york city i'm like well you know i'm in the state department i said i do travel yeah i do travel a little bit. Yeah.

Yeah, let me touch on that too because we glossed over it. But so again, Department of State time, but also military time. Again, we talked about a little bit, but you worked alongside foreign military groups and foreign law enforcement and we kind of touched on it like not... Foreign law enforcement, people have this in the United States, when I say people, It's not like our law enforcement, or at least it's not always like that.

And we kind of, we talked about it at length, you know, over training and stuff. But could you touch on that a little bit and what that was like and what that, you know, what impression you had on that? So, I mean, like law enforcement wise, I worked with like whatever the Iraqi police were at the time after the invasion. And, you know, people bitch and moan in the United States. But like, dude, these other countries, like the Iraqis, like I so that's so perfect story.

So we were doing a payout in on the Jeff in southern Iraq around in May or June. I think it was May. I don't remember exactly. And it was for these Iran, Iraq war veterans. OK, you know, that was a pretty brutal war. So but they had like different banks and they were lined up male, female and stuff like that.

There was like seven or eight lines and and and i i told the the i told gus our translator i said to the the iraqi guy doing i go don't make announcements gus is going to do them so we can keep it everything's going good then he makes an announcement everybody charges and i'm like jesus christ and like it don't it starts the stampede and like you know we had to close it down and stuff and i said to gus i go gus how would this have been taken care of

during saddam's day He goes, oh, there'd be one, maybe two cops down here. I'm like, are you kidding me? He goes, oh, yeah. What they would have done was like the first time somebody got out of line, they would have just shot somebody in the head. And that's it. And then everybody would have gotten went right back into it, back in line. So, like, yeah, people bitch and moan about the police in the United States. But like and they're like, oh, they're out there. They're shooting everybody.

I'm like, I mean, this is Gus. Tell me the story. This is how the Iraqi police, they beat people. I watched them beat people in front of us to get in line. I'm like, oh my God.

And the Afghan police forget about it. I mean, they were just like, complete fucking buffoons yeah come like complete buffoons they were they were high all the time either pot or probably opium or something like that and it's just like you know now foreign militaries like i was in combat with the brits and you know the the brits are shit hot man um you know they they they know how to fight like people badmouth them but like you know like Like,

like our special forces are based off the like Delta is based off the SAS. You know, the Brits are like they can fight, man. And they are they are they are a professional army. And I was in Iraq with a lot of like other I'm sorry, Afghanistan, with a lot of other NATO countries. And, you know, they they're like most of those militaries are a little more laid back than us.

But, you know, they're they're good, man. You know, maybe they don't have like they grow beards, some of them and stuff like that. And the Brits like walk around with towels going, you know, because, you know, for some reason, if people are show skin in the United States, they're like, oh, my God, you know, but the Brits like, but like Western European militaries, man, they were good. I mean, the Brits, the Danish.

I remember I was hanging out with some Australian SAS guys that were like, I'm like, bro, you guys are fucking amazing. He was not, dude. We're just like you. I'm like, yeah, OK. Just like, oh, like, I mean, the Australian military is just like, I mean, it's those are professional militaries. I did stuff with the Koreans, the Rock Marine Corps and hardest people I've ever met, would I want to go into combat with them? I'm not really sure Fair enough.

I mean, I want them on our side. Like, I mean, they beat their people like it's going out of style. I mean, they're very professional, but, like, they're big with their, like, discipline and grooming standards. Like, they're, like, maneuvers. And, like, I wasn't too impressed with it, really, to say. Like, when they, like, definitely, like, you know, I'm biased because I was a Marine. Like our guys were, were better. They were good, man. They were good. Don't get me wrong, man.

They were good. But like they, they, I mean, I mean, they, you hear, read stories. If you ever get a chance about the rock Marine Corps in Vietnam, man, during, during the Vietnam war, like it was well known the NBA and the VC not to met with the rock Marine Corps. But then again, it's like, you know, they, they would, if they, if they took rounds from the village, they would just go in and kill everybody in the village.

Yeah. I think that's kind of what I, you know, When you and I were talking, it brings memories to mind. But with the Secret Service, I would work with foreign militaries, foreign law enforcements for visits overseas or in the United States. And you start to get a feel for the different expectations. And what I mean by that, like Israel and the United Kingdom.

Most of their, not necessarily local law enforcement, but their version of the Secret Service, all of those guys served in the military in one capacity or another. And I believe, and I could be wrong and I could be fact-checked, but in Israel, you have to have actually seen combat, which for them probably is easier than some other countries because they're always fighting, in order to guard whoever the leader is.

In the United Kingdom, it's the same thing. They're usually commander or commandos, and they're in MI5, and they're the ones that are doing protection. Then you go to like Vietnam or Africa or South America and basically their Secret Service and a lot of their police changes with each regime change because the leaders are so concerned that if they get elected and it's the old leaders. Guards or law enforcement, they'll just be overthrown or mutinied.

So they usually fire them all and in some cases execute them and it's amazing to see and also what they deem as a show of force and i'll give two examples then we'll move on but in vietnam we were there i was there with trump during the apex and beautiful i had a great time and it was it was very interesting and i've talked about the experience a few times but basically anywhere you went the streets were lined with it's hard to explain because they

all look like military but this was their law enforcement, but maybe every mile was some 18, 19-year-old kid. I'm just going to say that because I don't want to think that they're 14, but they looked very young to me within AK, and they were just standing every mile for. 30, 40 miles. And then you would see them, their military version. They were usually in some sort of black garb and they were riding around and they would check on them.

And the way that they would do things was very different than, than how you would see in the U S I remember me and some of the guys were, you know, out and we were doing some shopping, whatever, and a black uniform and like a peach uniform. I don't, I can't really know what it was, but they stopped the kid on a scooter.

He had a girl on the back. they said something yelled at him he got off the scooter the cop gets on the scooter and then they all drive away and i'm like did they just jack that guy's scooter like what the fuck is going on the kid just he just kind of throws his hands up and they start walking somewhere else yeah and they yeah it's different and then you fast forward to we did the when harris did her swing through ghana zambia and tanzania and i think we were in ghana and similar

setup we're driving i mean i think we had like a 20 mile motorcade and it's like every mile or so there was somebody in a black shirt black bdu pants that said police on it it just that's all it said and i asked one of the i asked the driver i was like is this all your police me he looked at me like he felt like i felt like he didn't want to tell me i was like no that's okay he's like he goes they put out an advertisement two weeks ago that he goes

they're paid all these people like 20 to stand there with those shirts on and active law to to have like hey look how big our law enforcement is he goes They're not cops. Yeah, that doesn't surprise me one bit, man. It's just, it's funny. And, you know. Well, on the pay disparity too, because I know a lot of, and I'm one of them, I bitched about law enforcement pay for a very long time. But, you know, I was talking to the drivers in Africa.

They were getting two US dollars a day to work 12 hour days. And then I think I was in Honduras. I think I was in Honduras. Spence was down there and their secret service. That's where I learned about, you know, they switched with every regime change and he was trying, we were using a translator app. He was trying to ask me how much money I made. And I was just like, well, how much money do you make? And he was showing me, he was like very proud. He's like, I make $700 a month. This is.

Very good, very high for this country. I said, oh, yeah, it's same, same. And I'm like, 700 a month? Yeah. And, like, those dudes are, like, putting themselves on the line every day. Yeah, you know, so I did six months in Central America. I was an officer in charge of a security training team. So we had, like, teams out there training, like, the military, like Honduras, El Salvador, Guatemala, Belize, and we went to Costa Rica. They don't have a military. They have a national police force.

But I remember I'm in El Salvador and the El Salvadorian Marines. And I mean, these guys, they literally are hooking and jabbing every day. And they're like these really strict laws. They were like asking, can we get bandages or can we get some magazine pouches? Like I felt so bad we couldn't give them anything. And then I remember these two guys and this guy was an older guy.

He'd been in Iraq with El Salvador because I remember I was there when not when he was there, but I remember seeing El Salvadoran military and, you know, he'd been their version of the Marine Corps. I mean, and they have no money, these guys, but these guys, like they're professional. They, they got into the two of them. They got into a gunfight with like a squad size element of like, they call like MS-13 and everything terrorists down there.

But like, it was probably like, like MS-13 or something. And, and it was just two of them and they killed, they killed a bunch of them, then captured the rest of them. And I'm like oh what you do he goes well you know so and so here got down laid down a base of fire then I maneuvered up on the side of them I'm like I'm like where'd you learn that he goes from the Marine Corps you guys and I was like yeah yes but these guys like people don't get it man like.

Like, like, like, yeah, I mean, you, you, you got to write in the States, the bitch about pay, but like, like these guys, when I was down there, like this was 2017, 2018, you know, like El Salvador wasn't as safe as it is now. And these guys were out there fighting. Like they were literally getting into gunfights almost daily. You know, they had fucking M4s, you know, probably from that.

We gave them in the 80s and still using like, you know, like, you know, our weapons, like, especially in the Marine Corps, like, oh, this needs to be LTI and PFI, like change the battle needs. It's gone through a number of rounds. We need to change it out or, you know, de-mail it and stuff because not them. They just keep using everything, man. Yeah, they say. Fuck it. And listen, I'm still going to bitch about law enforcement pay. Right.

Absolutely. But you remind me of something else. So while we were in Honduras, we got there a day early and we had our day of downtime. So usually when you land, this is when I was with the Secret Service, you go out, you explore, you know, whatever it is. A lot of people like to go to the embassy to see stuff or go get food, whatever. You try to experience wherever you're at. And so we all kind of went out and I immediately felt like this isn't safe because you're looking at like Wendy's.

And that was the other thing. There wasn't really any local restaurants or shops or anything like that. It was like Wendy's, Walmart, McDonald's. Like it was very corporate America stuff that was there. in every single place with Chili's. They all had some sort of version of an armed guard with a shotgun or an AK-47 guarding it. And you're like, this doesn't feel good. And we made it to the embassy. And then when we get there, the booth had a couple bullet holes in there.

In the embassy, the Marine stood up and he goes, what are you guys doing here? We're like, hey, we're just going. They're like, bro, you should not be here. Like, did you walk here? Don't do that. And he was like freaking out a little bit. And I was like, dude, we're just, he's like, yeah, get inside. Come on come on come on come on get inside and he's trying to explain to us like this is not safe so fast forward to the next day.

We're doing our briefing in the RSL, the security officer. He basically goes, do not leave the compound. Last night we had a guy, a local citizen. He got shot in the Chili's, which we all, some people had actually gone to just because they were trying to get some food or whatever. He's like, your life is worth 50 bucks. That cell phone that you have in your pocket is worth half a year's salary. They will kill you and rob you just for that cell phone.

No questions asked. We're like, Jesus, you should have told us this one. We got the fucking plane, bro. Like, no, we had no idea. Like, I mean, this thing when I try and tell people like, yeah, there is a wealth gap in the United States. But like, bro, you go to other countries and people like that are like broke here, like they can still go to Starbucks and get a coffee. People that are broke down there, they're like looking for money to get food, you know. Yeah.

And you saw that like. Oh, dude. Yeah.

Yeah they're bitching about money and they're talking on their iphone while they're drinking their cellbox going i don't get to feed enough and i'm like dude you have no fucking clue yeah i mean come on dude you know sorry go ahead i interrupted you no no no i i was gonna say like i know one of the things you wanted to talk about like like one of the weird things is is like that like when i when i left active to me i didn't realize like we were talking before we started Yeah.

Then he went into law enforcement. Yeah. Yeah. And it's just the change. Like, dude, you could be coming out of the military. You know, you could be high speed operator, fucking pilot, you know, flying a forty five million dollar jet. And, you know, you get a job and then, like, in the civilian way, in law enforcement, and you know this, like, no one gives a shit, you know?

Like, you were a cop, and, you know, so I remember when I became a local cop, I was, like, I wasn't expecting, like, different treatment, but I was expecting, like, okay, you know, I've been a federal law enforcement. I know I wasn't a uniformed cop, but I've been, you know, federal agent. You know, I stood next to Bush, Condoleezza Rice, Cheney, all these bigwigs.

With a loaded weapon you know yeah guarded them made sure they their arrivals and you know then i was in the marine corps you know top seeker clearance and you know and yeah led america's youth in combat and was in charge of millions of dollars of equipment and stuff you become a local kind you know this dude like then all of a sudden you're like they you're treated like a fucking a 19-year-old idiot.

Like, you know, you're like, it was just like, I'm like, like, and I, like, listen, man, I, I always admit, like, if I didn't know something, like, oh, I don't know how to do this. I remember, like, being in field training. I'm like, yeah, can we go over this again? Because I'm not sure. I want to make sure I know how to do this. Yeah. And I remember I had this one guy because I, I became a, I went, I got hired as a cop at 34 and, like, got on the road at 35,

like, after the academy and field training. And there was this guy there and, and. I fucking hate to this day. I fucking can't stand him. He's long retired. He's a piece of shit. Like I said, I always wish he got the cancer that my daughter got and he died from it. Oh, geez. Yeah, I just hate the guy. But I remember he was like, he was making a joke. Oh, you're the 35-year-old rookie. Oh, my God. Yeah, and the guy that was training me was like, what are you doing, dude?

Like, I'm trying to field train him. And then, like, it was just, it was that.

Like dude you go to like and it's everywhere but like you go you know how it is with like local cops like some of them are such like they think because they they they went from their parents basement to being a cop because like in jersey bro not as much now but it used to be you had a hat like it was like you had a hook to get hired yeah and like oh because yeah okay like and i'm not taking it away like a lot of these guys did stuff i'm not saying like shootings and stuff like

CPR calls and stuff like that, bad accidents. Like, okay. But like, it's not like I was expecting to be like, Oh, you know, you, you've been like, I'm like, just like, I've been around the block, bro. Like, you know, like I've done stuff and it's like, you don't have to treat me like I'm like a fucking five year old kid. Yeah. And you got that. Like, and like I said, like, I like, like, dude, I'm not sure. Can we go over this domestic violence paperwork again? Because like,

I wasn't sure. And I had no problem. I would be like, hey, can you help me out with this? I got to do this complaint. I only did one of these before. And some guys were like, yeah. And, you know, when I became a detective there, I would like, like some guys would want to try and work their cases, like a fraud case or something. Like, hey, listen, dude, I'll help you out. You're going to Knights in the next week. I'll do the subpoenas for you. But some guys didn't want to help out.

Like local law enforcement's weird where it's like, and I'm not sure if you saw this, We're like, guys want to see, it's almost like they want to see you fail. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's like, dude, we're all on the same team. Like, I mean, I left never getting promoted. I was a detective. It was like a lateral move for me. I like doing that. But like some guys are like, oh, you're trying to get promoted. And I'm like, okay. I'm like, no. I'm like, you know, like I remember I'd be like,

because I was a firearms instructor. And I'm like, oh, I would say to like, I'm like, you should go like, oh, why? So, so, so someone can get promoted. I'm like, no. So we have more firearms instructed train. You guys had a fucking shoot, you know, and you know, some of you scare me that you have a gun in your, in your fucking hip. Yeah, exactly. I told you, I think I told you this. I got in trouble for that one time.

We made a, made a complaint at firearms training. I'm like, I was telling about one of my buddies from Central America was San Jose cop. Great fucking Marine. Great guy. Yeah. And, you know, he, he, they had an active shooter a few years ago and, you know, he was one of the first responding, you know, before SWAT got there.

And I brought that up at training. I'm like, Hey, listen. And, you know, listen, I guess coming from the Marine Corps, I was like, you know, being, and plus you're like guy, like everybody thinks like, oh, you're a Marine, this and that. Like, okay, I can be blunt with you. I'm like, Hey, listen, I've seen some of you shoot and you suck. I literally said that.

And and and the one one of the people made a complaint and my buddy was and was trying to like, it was like no no no adam you know he was trying to like because he knew that that person was going to make a complaint you know and and i always said i said hey listen man if you guys want to shoot i'll i'll take time i'll go on my own time on and you know some guys there took advantage like one guy was having trouble calling and i i helped him out i'm like dude

i like what Like if someone says, hey, I need help with something, I don't understand why it was like, why are we going to chastise somebody for it? Like, you know, and I remember my my buddy was like that. And he even said it was, hey, man, I was having trouble calling. Adam took time with me. He'll he'll work with you. But people didn't care, man. They I'm like, you know, and I like I tried to explain. I said I said, hey, I never shot at anybody with a handgun.

But I I've been in, you know, a couple of gun battles and like, you know, like I'm still here. I'm still here. And, you know, and, and, and, you know, man, like, you know, it's, it's like, dude, like, okay, you, you, you get your shots really good, but like, dude, it's still like, you, you got to reload that weapon. What if it goes down? And some of them were like, and, you know, we, like, we didn't have facing targets, you know, it's always, you know, it's always a stag nightmare.

Yeah. It's always a nightmare trying to, trying to find a place where you can train. And, and, you know, you know, most pistol qualification courses have times. And I remember I, one time I, I enforced the times when I was running the range and they're like, and like half the people failed. I'm like, well, you guys got to work on it then. Like, thank you.

You know, I'm not like, like, you know. Yeah. I'm going to go on a little diatribe because you hit on a couple of things, but local law enforcement where they want to see you fail. And definitely I had a couple deputies at Hillsborough County straight up stepped on my neck and, you know, stab me in the back so that they would look better. And unfortunately for one of them, it worked. He's now a fucking lieutenant.

I'll never forgive that fucker, but I understand what you're saying. and then military to law enforcement you brought to mind uh i don't know if i've shared the story before but when i went through fletzy the first time as for secret service we were doing active shooter building clearing and there was two guys that were you know hot shit in my opinion they were i always get in trouble because i'm like special forces i don't know

if they're green berets or navy seal or whatever they whatever the fuck they were they were operators something and they went through.

And the exercise was like there's multiple shooters so they shot at these are all 10 rounds they shot the one shooter and they're like hey there's still shooting going on you got to move on the purpose of the exercise was somebody has to stay back and you got to like call it in and bring it back up these two guys didn't do that they fucking turn around two shots to the dude's chest and they kept moving they're like whoa whoa whoa they're like you can't

execute he's like well I'm not gonna leave this guy behind me they're like no and they're trying to explain the purpose and The look on their faces, we were, I understood, but we were all laughing because it's like, yeah, what you're saying makes perfect fucking sense to anybody that's standing here before you. But in law enforcement, you can't just execute people. It's like, hey, that guy's down. You handcuff him. You call him back up.

I get it. But he's like, but there's somebody killing people. And he's like, anyway, it was an exercise and I get it. You know that like it's like when, when, when, when the cop gets in shooting and he's And, and, and they're like, well, why did they shoot him six times? Like, okay. Because a lot of times when people are in a heightened state like that, like the person coming at you one round isn't, unless you get them like right in the heart or shatter a bone, like they're still going to move.

And, you know, people don't get like, like, all right, I, I, listen, that person chose to like.

Now this never happened to me as a cop, but like, I'm just like that person chose to use violence against me and to make sure that i don't get home to my wife like sorry that's not how it works that person's not coming like like well correct and i've had this conversation with people that they say civilian but no not military not law enforcement they're just they're trying to understand why they have to shoot him you know 12 times or

whatever like you know they shot him he's down i'm like you've again i've never shot anybody i've never been in a shooting i've been shot at but again i did not shoot anybody but you talk to people who have and And they're like, look, dude, I put nine rounds in a dude's chest and he still was able to pick up a gun and keep firing at me. Not for long, but he's like, the number of rounds doesn't mean anything. If you put one round right in their fucking brain, sure, that might take them

out. But just shooting them, anyway, you're taking them out of the fight. So, again, this is just a lapse in knowledge. But you touched on something else that we talked about during our instructor training. I will never understand why agencies and all across the board, it's like this, oh, we have two firearm instructors. That's all we need. It's like, why can't every fucking person in this agency who wants to be firearms instructor, at least trained, go to the train?

Like, what is the harm in saying, hey, 90% of my personnel are trained to the level? Who gives a fuck? Like, that should be a good thing. Yeah. And they just have this block in their head, and I don't understand why. You know what it is? It's the keeper of the – what is it? The keeper of the badge or whatever, like, not like the law enforcement badge. Like, oh, you know, when I went through this course, it was so fucking hard, and now I'm not going to let you go through it and such.

You know? And, you know, it's like, dude, like, my buddy Matt Danner, bro, awesome Marine, awesome Marine. And I remember one of the things, and he's a fucking legit fucking badass man. And I remember him saying one time, he's like, why are we failing people in Marine Corps schools? We should be making sure people pass as much as possible. Like, it's like, you know, people like have this like keeper, like, oh, like, dude, just because like, oh, you failed.

Like, your attrition rate is 60%. Like, okay, maybe you guys aren't training enough. Maybe you're not instructing it the proper way. You know, I can understand if it's like, okay, there's a physical standard or, you know, like, maybe a shooting standard. Because I know, like, the force recon units, like, when they would do their workups and stuff, they would have, like, a qual in the beginning and a qual in the afternoon.

Like, if you messed up, like, two quals or something, I think you would be kicked out. I never was force or recon, but I know that, like, they were strict with that shit.

But like that's like not putting on like okay we're gonna we're gonna haze tyler and adam till they quit you know and then and or we're gonna fail them because they could they couldn't run sub 18 three miles even even though they like they like you know they're the best at putting this widget together you know but you know going going back to where i was talking about with the shooting we're like.

People expect like, and you saw that, like people expect you to be like, well, like, well, that person's in emotional distress. They're coming out with you with a knife. So you should be stabbed and not go home to your family just so we can get them care. Like, no, no, no, no, dude, I'm going home. That person, they made that choice. They're not.

But I saw that a lot. And I bet you I'm not sure if you did probably with like law enforcement, like like where people thought like that you were there to be 24 seven, be there. They're like, well, I came in last night or I came in yesterday. You weren't here. Like, well, that was my day off. I just came off nights. I remember the story. I was in the detective bureau, and I was one of the evidence officers, and this lady called up. It was a Friday in the summer. It was like 3.30.

She wanted to get her. Her son lost his phone, and they had it in the evidence. I'm like, you know, ma'am, I get off at 4. I can stick around to like 4.15 and sign. She's like, oh no, can you stay to six? I'm like, no, I can't. She's like, well, that's why I can't. I'm like, like I can come first thing in the morning at like eight o'clock tomorrow. And it was a Saturday. She's like, no, I can't come. I'm like, she's like, why can't you just stay there and wait for me?

I'm like, I go, because I have a wife and daughter and I want to go home and see them. It's not my problem that your son lost his phone. Now there's, correct. There's consequences for that. Like now he's got to wait to get it. Like, so, you know, It is what it is. Yeah. Well, again, so you brought something up. Actually, I haven't thought about it this way, but you made a fucking great point.

Why law enforcement and military, I think both there, it's almost like they take pride in failing people. They're like, Oh, you know, only 20 people passed and all this. It's like, especially right now, there are so few people who even want to do the fucking job. Number one, number two. And again, I'm, I'm towing the line here. I'm not saying, Hey, they have some, moral or ethical issue. They've done some fucked up shit. They probably shouldn't be in charge.

I get all that, but it's like you're going out of your way to fail people out, kick them out, whether it's physical fitness, which I do believe in, but I'm really touching on, there was a polygrapher for the Secret Service. He would get a fucking boner because he's like, I fail 60% in all my polygraphs. Nobody goes unscathed and they're like four to eight hours long. I'm like, dude, why? What the fuck is wrong with you?

It's like what are you doing let's put you back on the box, yeah you fucking go samples for 12 fucking hours because you wanted to fail this kid because he smoked weed seven times instead of five times it was a name shit that he was fucking bailing people for and I'm like you're a fucking asshole. That's a good point, man. But listen, we got like 10 minutes. I want to just finish with a couple of things. I definitely think I'm going to have to have you back on maybe one or two more

times. Give me one sec. I got to hit the head really quick. No, no, go ahead. I'll go ahead. I'll be right back. Yep.

We're back. A little quick head hit. I also just want to shout out. Adam is a fellow bidet. Appreciate, you know, appreciates the bidet as any gentleman does. Oh, absolutely. Most people don't even know or they don't care. They think it's weird. I'm like, huge fan. So I was happy to see you are as well. Might be from your time in Okinawa. No, it's from a memory. I grew up in my mother's from Italy.

When I used to go see my grandparents, they always had one. I mean, I can't put the standalone bidet, but I have the one that plugs in with the heated sea. Yeah. Listen, I'm all about having a nice comfort. As you said, my experience was in Japan and ever since then I've been a huge fan. But we got about 10 minutes and I just wanted to finish up. You kind of touched on already, but I'd like to wrap up with the expanse of your career, the experiences you've had, the loss that you've incurred.

How do you maintain your physical health, your mental health and your family? You know, so it's funny because, you know, I told you my dad was the doctor and my dad always drilled into us to take care of ourselves. Of course, he doesn't listen to it one bit, but I've always like, you know, if I need to go to the doctor, I go to the doctor. You know, and then you get drilled into it from the military. You know, if you need help, seek help.

And I did a lot of preemptive stuff like going to the VA, you know, just talking to somebody. And I think part of it is like, I mean. You know, you know, my wife and I get along really well. I mean, there's times I think she wants to push like I got to be careful by an open window. She may try and push me out. But but, you know, that's a big thing. And, you know, taking care.

I mean, you know, you're a big PT or like you like you when you look good, you feel good, you know, and then like you do something about it.

You know, so you just take care of yourself. you know and you know i you know you know about my daughter like you know i guess for the i mean we could like you know my daughter passed away in april it'll be two years from cancer she was nine, and you know that's a devastating loss yeah it's the worst in the world but like you know i like my wife and i we go to therapy you know and we each speak to our own like grief therapist and that helps and it's you know it's you know

and and it's like dude being a like like you let me talk about it like it's thing it's things like that bro just like like look we've known each other for you know a short time and but you let me talk about it and you know and and it's stuff like that that helps out it's yeah you know i got i got i got good friends you know you you real when something like that like a traumatic event like that happens it's weird how some people like,

Like, I know it affected other people, but, like, the way they act towards us, it's like, okay, listen, I know that, like, Lucy's passing affected you, but, like, you know, it was Jamie and I's daughter. Like, I mean, it's, like, it's fucking horrible. And now, why are you being so weird to us or making, like, making our fucking life different? And then, you know, my wife, the three of us were super, super close. My wife and I were close from the get-go.

You know, it's funny, but she's always like, I want to be best friends and everything like that. And then I would be like, well, let's go look at chicks in a bar. She's like, no. I'm like, that's what best friends do. Yeah, exactly. She'd be like, we're not best friends. You're my wife. Yeah, exactly. I'm like, look at that girl. Poops, man. They're awesome. You know? Yeah. But, you know, I mean, I think it's it's it in, you know, you know, the same, man.

It's just like like doing this, like you giving me a chance to come on here and talk is like therapeutic and just talking to people. And, you know, I go back to it and it's like, what am I going to do? I tell people, like, what am I going to do? Like when my daughter was sick and, you know, after she died, what do my wife and I do? She's going to sit in a corner and cry and mope. And like, no, my daughter would come back and haunt us and yell at us.

And just be like don't like again it's just you know it's like listen dude a lot of people can beat the shit out of me easily but like it's like it's simple it's like don't be a fucking bitch dude like like i mean that's really that's that's really it it's like don't be a fucking no one no one said you can't cry or you can't be sad yeah you can't but like don't be like i'm just gonna sit home and eat doritos for the next six months and like oh now i'm fat and no one's helping I'm like, dude,

a lot of it is yourself. You have to help yourself. And, you know, because like when our daughter was sick, like it was just me and my wife, basically, because her her mother at the time had pancreatic cancer and they live four hours away. So she was going through treatment. You know, my my dad has, you know, he doesn't walk that great anymore. And so they they came over, but, you know, not that much. It's just me and my wife, man. No, go and go into the. And that's how we did it.

That's really how you do it you know i had that like guys were like like like oh let's go out after work i'm like no i just i just want to go home and see my wife and daughter bro i don't i don't really give a shit about going out to the bar or catching a game i was never i sucked at sports so i'll be the first to admit it and i never was a sports fan like i mean i think like a girl if i were to play like against the eighth grade girls basketball team they'd probably school me, you know?

Fair enough. Yeah, I mean, that's like, I'm admitting it. That's part of it. You know your limitations. That's also part of the thing. Like, being a... I don't try and be anything. And I see that with you, man. It's like, remember when we were practicing before we were going to firearms instructor? Yeah. And I'm like, fuck, dude, what do you need to practice? Your fucking shooting is tight.

Now I'm like, now I got to practice. And I remember, I'm like, now I got to practice more so I can just keep up with you. But it was like an awesome, friendly competition. Like we were keeping each other up. Like we're like, yeah, like good. You know? And like, you know, we like, like the course we just went to, bro, we had a really good course. Like we had guys that everybody got along. No one was like, Oh, I'm a better shot than you. You suck and stuff like that.

Like, no, everybody was like, dude, good shooting, man. Nice. Good, good. Like there, you know, it's not like, dude, if that was a bunch of like, if we went through that, like with local cops to be like, Oh, you suck, dude. You know? Yeah. Yeah. You know, and if you didn't make it through training, they'd be like, Oh, are you fucking stupid? You know, it's like, you know? Yeah. Yeah, it wasn't like that. Yeah, I'm actually like there's a kid that I was a cop with.

He went to the Jersey Firearms course and didn't pass it, so I'm going to work with him this week. I'm like, dude, I'll help you out with it. No, that's what I'm saying. Anybody who wants to do it should be allowed, but I just want to touch on this before we go, but a lot of people think of cops, and especially Marines, my God, as these, well, I'll marry a female, to be honest with you, as these super like aggro, aggressive, you know, robot type people.

And the older I, and I thought that for a very long time, not to say that my parents were, but they, you know, they were Marines at the time when I was a kid growing up and now they're older. And I, you know, I see my dad, he's much more emotional. My mom's more empathetic. And, you know, it's, it's, it was kind of weird for me when it started happening, I don't know, 10 years ago, maybe. And I realized that I was imitating them growing up and going through law enforcement.

And I kept a lot of things boxed in. And, well, my buddy BJ was probably the first person to be like, no, dude, I've been going to therapy since I was like 18. And he goes, I've had the same therapist. And he just openly talked about it, completely comfortable. And you are probably the second guy to actively talk about the pain, the trauma that you've experienced. but also you're still, you know, very, like you said, you're still upbeat. You take care of yourself. You worked out fitness.

You openly talk about going to therapy, multiple different therapists for different things. And you talk about it so freely and naturally. I don't think you understand how rare that is, especially in the world that we're both in. And because when we're sitting there at the table during the show, you're just openly talking about this stuff. I don't think, I don't know if you realize or not me, if you do it, you didn't show it, But guys were just like, they kind of were like,

oh, it almost was like you hit them. They're like, oh, that's so okay. He's just talking about it like it's nothing. And I'm like, no, this is huge because we all have shit. And usually it takes time to get to know people and you hear their stories and you're like, man, I hope you're taking care of yourself or I hope you're talking to somebody. But a lot of times they won't because they're scared to do it. And here you are just like, no, man, I got fucked up. My shit's fucked up.

I don't know how to talk about it. So I need to talk to somebody. And yeah, I got to work out. I'm getting older. I got to take care of my body and you shouldn't be eating that shit. Tyler, why are you eating five rolls even though they're delicious? You fat fuck, you know.

I never called you. You never did. You never did. But what I'm saying is you, you know, you understand those things that are important and people think I'm a fucking psycho because I consume podcasts and books and stuff on sleep, diet, nutrition. My kids are fucking sick of it because I'm always like, you need to drink water. You need to be eating these. You need to take this stuff with my sleep. You're therapy. You're taking care of yourself.

It's great. Unfortunately, and you know this with, especially in law enforcement, it's like I always dread it. If I got into an OIS, an officer involved shooting, I know they would have dragged me through the mud with like, oh, you go to the EA in this and that. I don't know by you, but there's always a stigma free zone. I'm like, that's such bullshit, dude. You know that like, God forbid, like the first, like if I could have been, or you could have been like, I'm just using me.

I could have been in a completely justified shooting and they would have, I would have been docked and tracked through the mud and, and, and, oh, he, you know, you know, even though like, well, well, like somebody would say, well, the guy would like just hacked up six people and he got in there and saved like 10 other people, you know, and, and, you know, well, well, the guy was in mental distress and, you know, that cop is, is aggressive and he probably beats his wife and blah, blah,

blah. Like that's the shit, but you know, so, yeah. No, very true. Well, I'm definitely going to have you on, bro, because there's a lot more questions. I took copious notes, so I hope you're ready. But anything you want to leave with, anything you want to leave with, brother, I appreciate your time. No, man, I'm so honored that you let me do this. And, you know, it's fucking awesome now. I still got to listen to the other Street Tales podcast.

I'm not going to lie. I've been lazy with that. No, it's all right, man. Yeah. There's a lot on there. Yeah, I can't wait, bro. All right? All right, brother. I appreciate it. Yeah, all right, man. And be safe, and I'll talk to you later, all right? Sounds good, brother. I'll talk to you. All right.