Reptile Dysfunction | The Legend of Scape Ore Swamp Lizard Man!

The following show may shock, disturb, and offend some viewers. The opinions, theories, and facts shared on this podcast are not widely accepted by the brainwashed masses, especially those who find dark humor offensive. Viewer discretion is advised.

This Kills Head, Jeffrey Dagger so Blunt, the Unipommer blowing up Wicko Texas, and Heaven's Days and Aliens modified men for names, JFK Shot on the Head, the Cia, Bigfoot and the mob Man, Sun of Sam talking to that tis Again, Witches, JOm.

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Most celebrities are probably can So if you're feeling all.

Alone, crack a beer in cat Stone. Welcome you to the podcast.

Range Brow. We're here to entertain you.

We're here to entertain you.

Kid Strange.

All right, Welcome back, everybody. Welcome back, everybody to the show. Marie.

This is my hetero life rate. Not so silent Bill, Hi.

I know he's very nice to me, like all the time. So I didn't actually think of one, but I just remembered one right now. So what what does a janitor say when he comes out of the closet, what supplies supplies.

Stupid surprise, motherfucker supplies.

Motherfucker.

So this should be fun. I want to try to bring people together more. Marie's been on the show a bunch of times. Now, by the time you guys hear this one, all of our episodes should be out. And I'm pretty excited. We did a whole big two parter into dreams and all that stuff, but you know, me and Aaron have covered some serious stuff, so we're like changing our trajectory and we're gonna really try to bring

Yes, fair enough.

I don't know if that was a sentence, but.

Lizard men are more fun than lizard people.

What's not more fun? I don't know if that's even a sentence, but yes, this would be sort of started off. How are you guys anyway?

How's it going?

This is your first time meeting on the show, so it should be interesting.

Yeah, Dandy just got I feel all dirty.

I was playing in frank today, so I was just hanging out in someone's at it can wait there for like four hours.

He never came home. I gave up.

Well, you're in a beautiful mansion now, so.

That's so I do. I don't know. People pay me just to sit an atticts so.

Conveniently he can't play that grand piano.

He just bought it for aesthetics.

Well I think most people do.

I stole it.

You remember that piano though, was in my townhouse I had there. Yeah, what a nightmare they are to move?

I'm surely are they.

Get sold with the house half the time, Like trying to move a piano has, hands down, nothing more difficult. I have never dealt with a bigger challenge in my entire life.

Do you remember like a boat? You know the bowflex? Remember that it's all the thing and it pulls down. We had one in one of our houses and my parents didn't want to move it. So they're like this sold it to the people by five hundred bucks.

You could have it or whatever. It's just like we don't want to move it.

Good enough, now you can work out?

Yeah, okay, I got some got some stella.

I have boring water hydrating boring, I got.

Cheers.

I can't. I gotta go to a parent teacher conference after this. I don't think we look good if I show up smelling like alcoholics.

Show up drunk. That's like the best way to go.

It sounds really fun. You should, you'd be a really cool parent. Appreciate appreciate that.

I think. I think that's how it works.

God is Canada. We probably like get our kids taken away from us like s less than that.

I was just chance.

I'm somebody.

They invited me on this nationalist group on x there's like seventy some people in it. And the one guy was going talking about how, uh, he can't see his kid anymore because he didn't want his ex wife to cut off his penis and now now he can't see his kid. And she essentially like he lost his job because he stoock up and was I stood up and was like, you know, I don't want this taking to my kid. And that's Canada. So he got his parental

Mm hmm. Now I've heard that someone got the child fown services called on them because they their kids were playing alone. In their backyard.

That's what.

Services in a fenced in backyard. No one safe, no one safe.

You know, all the politicians are like complicit in child trafficking, but nobody knows is that that's fine.

If there was a bear, there could be bears in the city like that totally.

So to get that started, me and Billy probably have kind of like touched upon the the swamp man what from Escape, Escape or swamp I just want to start off some just a couple of fun memes. Mm hmm.

Can you read it off for me, Billy?

We control the world, says the lizard people. Yes, these are ours too. If it looks to be if, if it looks too fake to be human, it is lizard.

Really. Look at that one ship though, that's like creepy looking.

Yeah. I think Zuckerber's the worst one that he's the hands down the creepiest man.

I think have you ever seen like drink water, like trying to drink water.

As a lizard tongue.

Of yeah, during go like this right, yeah, and then he was like it's it's so it's so weird. And then that one clip of him he was like.

What do you say?

He's like you know if I was human, I mean I am human.

He literally said something like that.

Yep, yes, I mean you know when I when I yeah, if I were human. Yeah, it's like, wait, I am human. And the way even the way he says it. So he's either a cyborg or a lizard.

Imagine if he is though, imagine if like maybe he's not like a lizard person. Maybe he's like maybe he's actually an android and they've had this technology because in the nineties the military is like fifty years ahead of us.

So what if he acts like one. His eyes are like yellow like data from Star Trek Next Generation, Like his eyes like the whites of his eyes are like yellow looking. And it's just he's kind. He's a creepy yeah, with something about him.

You think they'd be smarter, though it's like not catch themselves doing stuff like that.

Like I don't know.

I think Hillary Clinton's person, Hillary Clinton drank water really weird one time also, where like and you see this weird thing come out of her throat which he swallows.

It looks fucking weird.

Man.

Okay, another one for you.

Oh my god, it's either's so cute.

So dumb I can see it I can see it.

I like this and this is one is my favorite. Read it for me, Billy.

The government is trying to make a whole population eat cricket meat, but lizards eat crickets.

Outside did for all the audience listeners like the joey meme. He was like, I love that. Show'd be good though I've never tried crickets. They used to sell, remember crazy Bills Billy, Crazy Bill Billy. They would sell like it was a bong store, like, and they had like a convenience store with bongs and stuff.

Obviously they're all over Canada because.

We're all degenerates, and you know, it's just they had at the front you could get like a box of cricket candies.

I never tried that.

And they also had like the meal worms or whatever, the little worms you can eat.

Yeah, those they have seen those two. These probably just like they have the munchies, so maybe they'll eat it.

Oh God, that's better.

Last one?

Can you read this one from me Billy? This is definitely up your alley.

A lizard with severe anxiety, yes, to get a reptile dysfunction.

Well, I meant that it was a pun joke, not that you're Penis does. Oh all right, we're talking about you, lizard.

I thought you were making fun. I thought you were making fun of his anxiety disorder. And I'm like, hey, that too.

It's a mix of everything.

It was.

It was a layered joke.

Think about it. We If you're you don't have anxiety, you're probably not human. You know, it's in us like somebody like somebody who's talk it's probably Jerry because he's only the podcast I actually listened to, and he was like all these kids crying about being anxious and having anxiety. He's like, that's called being human, Like, get used to it. That sucks, you know, unless you're like stone cold, I don't know, like you kind of unless you're like a socio b.

Yeah, fair enough.

My brother always said that about Depression series, Like like I get it.

It's like some people are like more than others.

But he's like, if you've never felt that way ever in your life, like just terrifying.

Like you should.

I get if it's every day, okay, maybe we need to talk to somebody about something.

But true, it's like depth. If you can feel deep sadness like that, at least it shows you have like some sort of depths you care about stuff. If you don't, that's a little.

I was.

I was everybody up. If you're not upset, you're not being attended.

Okay. True. After me Aaron covered all the Colergy plan stuff and the mass immigration, I felt depressed for like two weeks because it was it's very We did three hours and then there two hours, and I was like just like showing videos and the stuff that's going on. It's like, well, it's like stop looking at it. I'm like, it's when I walk outside, it's everywhere.

Ignorance is beauty.

You've gotten a lot better, though, Tom, since since like ten years ago.

Yeah, it was a lot worse.

You're right, like honestly, like it's like straight nuts, the hands down the nuttiest person I've first seen.

In my life.

That's what you felt.

Like every other conversation ended with.

You could hear it listening back to some of the older episodes. So I met Billy when he was sixteen and I was like nineteen, and we worked at a restaurant together, and Billy told the story at the wedding is that I threw stale buns at him in the dishpit as far as I can.

You did you did?

He filled them up the water and you tossed them at me, And then I tried to do it to someone else, and I still got in trouble both times.

Both times it was my fault.

So we've been friends for a very long time without this fun, Without Billy, that would be no strange brew h So, while the legend of South Carolina Lizard Man isn't well as well known as like Bigfoot and Nessy, eventually we getting Alice to Crowley stuff. Supposedly, maybe like him summoning the these demons at the what's that house? This house that he bought on Lockness supposedly maybe created the Lockedness Monster.

I was listening to something about that. That's weird.

So this Southern creature, he's a Southern creature, has nonetheless shocked the and menaced residents of Scape or Swamp area since its first appearance in nineteen eighty eight. The South and South Carolina in particular abounds with rumors of supernatural Though the reports of the Lizard Man aren't ghost stories unlike many other South Carolina legends, they're all part of the cultural fabric of the area. Imagine after culture.

It's like you just talk about like a lizard people. Did you hear did you hear about the lizard Man?

I love it?

But you get boring after a while. Is that all you're allowed to discuss?

I like it.

I think it's fun.

They actually have a statue of him too, Is that cool? I think it's pretty narly.

We should have heard that.

I would have that in my backyard. I'm not gonna lie.

I wonder how much there on Amazon.

With a lizard Man statue. Yeah, I want it bigger than that, though. I want it likes so people can see it from like space.

A monument. You don't want a statue on a lizard man monument?

Yes, and then the Marxists can tear it down and say that that's racist or something. So the the lizard Man sightings are particularly noteworthy because they leave a lasting impact. People can cast footprints of evasive creatures and he's no, that's pretty cool. And he's known for trashing vehicles in the dark of night. Similar to most swamp creatures. The lizard Man eludes detection most often than not. It's his aftermath people claim to see, not to be, not the

Escape or swamp. That's hard to say so quickly.

That statue is made out of pier cement, and it's six hundred bucks. Really that exactly sixty bucks off Amazon pier cement. I don't know how the hell they're gonna ship that. That sounds like an insane amount in shipping.

But yeah, and I considering who's the person that's picking up the Amazon order, they're not very strong.

Yeah, they're not, but like eighteen year old girls are first job every it's just.

Like see, am I right? It's Billy? It is Billy. I told you we were like, I can you. I knew they were trying to get on me on Tuesday because they're.

Saying my internet was messing up.

And then.

Billy's reason, I think you'd have such good internet in that beautiful like called the sack you live in probably look it looks ritchy as hell there.

It's not full bars full bars right now, it's all the other people.

Usually I don't know what.

To tell you.

I don't know how this keeps happening.

Okay, I have a question, though, I have a question. What do you think it's more difficult to move a piano or that lizard man statue? That's the question.

Piano.

Nothing will ever beat a piano.

That was horrible.

I moved. I moved out of that place. I was renting it, and I just decided to leave it there. I'm like, I don't care what she says.

I'm not.

And it was like pretty damn close to the door too, like it was rollable from the door.

But I'm like, I don't know what to do with this. I can't get into the truck.

It took me and three grown ass men, two of them were legit bodybuilders to move that piano in there.

Don't ever buy a piano lizard man statue? Yeah, set you all the way.

You hit a pain point there, bringing up all these old feelings, the anxiety.

I just reminds me of this old time when they're moving stuff and they take it off like an apartment window, and they lure it down and some like Looney Tunes cartoon and then the guy like it crushes and he's got piano teeth, you know, fun stuff. Yeah, do you want to carry you want to take it?

Over?

There?

Me are looking at me, looking at me? Okay, all right. The lizard man is supposedly seven feet tall with.

Greens before Wait where are you?

I'm after?

Oh, oh, you're reading the headline.

Okay, Yeah, I.

Wanted to read the headline because I thought that was pretty That seems pretty typical for a description of a lizard man. I mean, from all the ones I've seen. Okay. According to lore, the lizard man has a distinctly fearsome appearance, standing about seven feet tall with glowing red eyes and snake like scales. From the early reported sighting in nineteen eighty eight, it's speculated the lizard man possesses just three large fingers on each limb. It's weird way to hit it.

The uniformity of the uniformity of these sightings is part of what makes the story so intriguing.

There's a lot of consistency. Even if there are clear fakes out there a clear face. I want to see the face.

It's just me walking out, like putting like bristol board all over my arms and be like I'm one of the guys.

They're alling out of the lis. A man emerges from an attic in a beautiful.

I don't know, with the long black nails. I just picture like a black lady at a nail slam black. You see my nails has got them down and got plastered.

Only I don't It's like just these huge nails.

How do women wipe their butts with those?

I know? Or do anything?

Yeah, that sounds horrible.

The pleasures everything you do in life is with the nail that assume.

Ew, that sounds scratching.

Santa Massacres. I don't know why, but my brain always goes to racism when I make jokes and I'm like, that's where of my first long black fingernails. I was like, well, who wears these long fake nails? Jilly?

Uh?

This this is really weird.

Interesting.

The lizard Man is known for attacking cars, not people. In two thousand and eight, Bob and Dixie Rawson discovered something rated their vehicle overnight. There were bite marks on it as well as a as blood on.

The front of the vehicle.

What Okay, that's kind of crazy though, right You think about that, You're like wake up in the morning, like getting your coffee, you're getting ready for work.

Uh, and then you know there's.

Like, like what would that other be? You think, like a raccoons trying to bite your car?

He just there, he's just like the lizard Man is just kind of so anti global warming, and he's so mad at like the motor vehicle and.

He's being like oil the plate and he's just like no.

And then now he's mad because of Elon Musk and the electric car electric cars. He doesn't know what to do anymore. He's like, Okay, all the cars suck now.

I like that meme. I like that. I like that meme of like, uh, it's like Volkswagon. It's like looking side to side because that's like the the Germans built. You have the Blair Witch tattoo. Oh yeah, Aaron's gonna love that.

That's his favorite movie.

That's one of my favorite movies too. I'm a big poster right there.

Maybe you should come on for that episode.

He he was like, I have we have to get Maria and but he's like, what do we do? And I was like, let's do screen queens most famous start. You know, we're gonna try to get Billy on for Human Centipede, so that'll be fun.

I'm never either fun either refuse.

I mean, I seen it once. I was like sixteen. I don't think I ever watched it again.

Or why did I see it in? That's this bank bank.

It was Exactually that's getting aroused about something and watching it for fun.

Or twofferent things.

Right, that's dark.

Also that video of that guy getting killed with that hammer and Russia is also net folders kidding.

I forgot about that video. I forgot. I forgot about that.

Fucked up so crazy. Oh this is your now you take it away, take it away?

Oh wait, what about it?

Then?

Oh?

I forgot? He didn't. He had to. He destroyed the car, so my bad. That's probably the Stella's talking. But the lizard Man can't live on cars alone. There were traces of blood on the front of the car. After testing the blood, state officials declared a dog as the source

It's funny. It just funny to me. There's so many reasons why you can hate cars that are just hilarious. It's just it's just he's like a global warming warriors.

Destroying the planet.

Yeah, why did I.

Sound like he can't just going to like a regular gym and like he seems very strong, and it's like people are like whatever chump changed to him?

So like he needs a challenge, like a.

Car coming at you one hundred kilometers Like, yeah, he's an adrenaline junkie for sure.

Maybe maybe he's just like working out with the cars. Maybe he's not a hate he's like this is more of my speed, Like I can you know you getting my reps.

In you know, getting.

Oh yeah, like a cat kneating on a pole, lilizarding cat, same thing, right, you know?

Do you want to tell do you like cats? Did you like cats?

I love her?

I'm sorry, we love no. I love cats too, Billy, Do you want to tell her your joke they used to make all the time.

I can't anymore, not allowed to say that your girlfriend gets mad, So we're gonna.

I'm gonna tell you Billy used to say the best thing that cats were used for is paint, because you just throw them at the wall and make a falart.

Or I'm not allowed to say that.

No cat, It's okay. Some cat assholes totally.

My cat's old and see Nile now and she doesn't stop me owing. It's like she's on her she's on her last life, like she's good A me.

Is kicking her out for a while.

Yes, sorry, Leila, Leia not let you've been to my friend for she's been in my life Stile of seventeen. You know a fucking names, Lea. You said Laila that I oh, I didn't mean.

I didn't know what it was.

Star Wars rather sadly that we had two cats, Luke and Lea from Star Wars, and Luke died very young. He was my favorite. Oh yeah, I suffocated.

Billy just painted with him, just threw him at the wall three times.

He was like, moved. I forgot about him, all right, carry away, carry way, okay.

Sightings of the lizard man go all the way back to nineteen eighty eight. A teenager on his way home from work stopped his car. Oh first mistake. Stopped his car launched the road to repair to repair a blown out tire. While outside, he witnessed a strange site a tall lizard like being rapidly approaching. The figure chased him into his vehicle and followed him down the road. Upon returning home, the man discovered damage to his car, as if the beast intentionally tore into it. But this was

There's a lot of weird ancient mysteries about Reptilians. I'm still reading that David Like book because I'm reading other stuff. But it's a massive book. It's the most comprehensive research into reptilians. And there's like, you know, the obviously the Chinese worship dragons. A lot of people look at them favorably, favorably because I was talking about the reptilian idea with

What is this from You don't hear it breathing.

No, it's just like I think it's your Mike, But maybe I'm wrong. Who knows. If Marie doesn't hear it, then maybe nobody else hears it.

But I hear it. I hear it.

Okay, so uh oh, this is okay, come on, like okay, So this is like, this is supposedly a picture of him, and we're getting this information from rancor dot com, so everybody knows. Billy, what do you think is that the lizard man.

Tony?

Oh?

Fuck, yeah, absolutely. I would be standing right beside him my dinosaur costume. Yeah, and you you would.

Look more realistic and whatever dinosaur costume you have probably looks more realistic than.

That the blow up dinosaur costume.

And you like Chase the car what I was talking about, It looks more realistic than that those blow up dinosaur ones. To look at his tail on this one, it's so like limp and come on now, he's girthy like he's been, that's for sure. But that tail is so high and it's so yeah.

It's maybe maybe that's a sign of like alpha in the reptilians.

Well, they do.

Say that they do say that. So like if you have if you have a long tail, supposedly your royalty uh and the shorter your tail is uh. It depends on the class of the reptilian. So if you have no tail, a short stub, you're of the worker class. And this is like stuff from Alex Callier, a guy that didn't interview in nineteen ninety four that was supposed to be had connections to the Andromeda Council, and he

Like when you were a kid, you had a Southern accent, the people fucking.

It's only actually I could do this. That's why I get used. It gets used up on the show, asked Billy, It's like whatever I can get to an accis it's a Southern accent.

It's true, it's quite frequent, it's quite free.

So the South Carolina. Lizard Man came back to prominence in twenty fifteen after a woman snapped a picture of what she claimed was the creature. She took the photo just after leaving church one day and send it to the local news. The figure in the photo certainly looks like the part. It appears as tall as a reptilian creature with green skin and large red eyes, though the swamp thing seems to almost be too clear to be real. Some believe I sound like there was like, ah am,

Am. I'm gonna send you that.

I keep be fraid to send you stuff for read, but I want to send you that. It's fair. It's it's this. It's this rapper that you think is like mentally handicapped. But I guess he's just playing a role that he does all these stupid rap songs. But he like he was on Tosh point zero and stuff, and I guess he's like really smart and he just does that as a character.

Okay, it's good.

I'm gonna send you a bunch.

Yes, it's so. Then that though the swamp thing almost seems too real, so some believe it's a person in the cost you will of ship. The woman swears the picture is authentic, telling local news my hand to god, I'm not making this up. So excited. I'm so excited for this, so excited, that's what you're saying.

So okay, it looks homemade that costume, Like that's a lot of work.

What do you think that?

Like?

Do you think just the classic he's like, is he like stuffing his reptile bro it does?

It does look like a costume, but it looks like he's going to like comic con, Like, it looks like it's pretty well made, considering.

He's strutting too.

Yeah, he's like, fucking, this is my.

Ship.

Like even the feet, like the articulated feet, you can't it's fake obviously, But like that's what I'm saying. If you look at like certain portions, like it would not be able to function as like a like a bipedal creature, you know what I mean?

Mm hmm, it doesn't it's not. Yeah, but he's he's ready to like fuck some cars up.

That lady's like, my husband made a costume to fuck me, and well I've dressed like a cow and I you know, she's listening making this up. We saw the liser creature. You know, anything for fame. People will do anything for fame and notoriety. That's why when we've talked about stuff on the like the show before, is this idea of like the people that are more credible would be the people have nothing to gain, Like they're not gaining anything.

To happen to me, you know what I mean? It's like shit, I know, so sad.

All right, the warning guys, and then gave you a warning and y'all laughed at me.

They don't have any pictures of the footprint. I'm gonna see if I cann look it up.

Okay, sightings are one thing, but casts are another. In nineteen eighty eight, the same year of the initial spotting of the lizard Man and the serious footprints emerged near the scape or Swamp, Locals made plaster casts of the curious tracks Like the previously reported descriptions, the prince had the telltale three toes. The tracks were about fourteen inches in lengthly crap, a few inches longer than the average

Yeah.

Mine's way smaller than that.

It's like a fish story any images the images?

Mmmm, it looked long when I read it.

Oh, here we good?

Then when I thought about it, weird.

Jamie's foots fourteen you're lying to me, No, Jamie, I size fourteen feet.

My brother sigzslet How does your I don't believe that?

What do you mean I have like twelve and a half. How the fuck Jamie's like six five and lanky as hell?

You I know.

It is what it is. You've seen his disgusting little fucking toes. I share.

That's his brother that doesn't know.

Okay, Danny's got things. Danny got the different dad or mom.

He's got a different dad.

It makes sense. He looks a lot different.

Than fair enough. Just Billy's uh, Billy's two brothers so uh. The lizard Man's I thinks are a thing of the past. In fact, these stories are getting more frequent. In twenty fifteen, a woman saw two lizards fucking outside of her house, just kidding.

They're just there's hanging out fucking. How do lizards fuck?

Because they have a kuwako like a bird, don't they?

I don't even know what the fuck.

That it's like, Uh, it comes out. I do know that because a podcast is too They always mentioned this stuff.

What do you mean?

Like?

It's how me and Billy spent twenty minutes. Billy does a fun fact at the end of each episode, and we spent like twenty minutes talking about fucking uh weird like animal.

Penises, weird animal what.

Fun it was?

Fucked.

Lizards have a kouako, which is single opening that serves all Oh. So aquako is like it shits out of it, it urinates out of it, and also you can fuck it. Uh. The male lizard grasped the female by the back of the neck weird oh like, and then aligns his body over hers and then twists his body underneath hers to

Though.

I like that they're like giving it like doggie. They're just like they grab her by the back of the neck and they just fucking give it.

In the very multi purposeful, very very efficient. I'm very very uh.

God, all in one. They say, I don't know.

I like, I like when my shampoo is also conditioner and body washed, so like, I don't see why.

I I think it's funny that they give men now They're like, you don't have to take the time to pump another bottle, just like lather yourself and soap.

It's fine.

I don't do that.

I use I used to any difference.

I used to make those jokes. I used to make those jokes like years ago, even in high school. Like I wish they came out with like a fourteen in one. I just want to buy one bottle on. It's like I keep seeing those memes now and now they're out everywhere. It's like a shampoo, conditioner, body wash, toothpaste, shaving.

There is a shading cream, motor oil. It's whatever, the want.

Motor oil.

See I use I use that it's called native because like I, I don't it's not gotten out of the par fades and all the other stuff that's in it. Because when you're when you're using these shampoos for people that don't know, it's like leaking into your body and then you're being poisoned.

M Yeah, but it's eighteen bucks for one of their deodorants, like dollars.

Or you go to Walmart and do you go, Tom just choking.

Here's some tips kids, Just wrap.

Some like wrap some like coconut oil on you.

You'll be fine.

Yeah, fair enough enough?

Carry away?

Carry away?

Are you gonna show? Are you gonna show this picture? Did you see what? It says? A woman's on two lizard like humanoids outside her house. Three years later, a couple discovered overnight damage to their car, as well as several of her cats missing.

See he does.

This is why I send Marie the information show.

She keeps me on point because this has happened, or she helps me pronounce words. It's fun, billy, it's always thank God, it's always names.

It's always names.

And I'm usually like high or drinking, so it's probably eventually.

I'll have to not do that anymore.

Chelsea's like, you have to may and then eventually she's like, if I go into labor, you're gonna have to Like it's like you're gonna can't be drinking and stuff. I'm like, that's sad. I can't drive drunk to the hospital.

Fair enough.

Sometimes when you have kids too, it's like when you want to drink the most, Oh my god, in the night, they're finally in bed, I need a drink.

I mean, if you brought back the old school parents and what my mom did, whiskey on the teeth, throw you in the fucking room, close the door, and I don't know what's gonna happen, but I'll see him in the morning.

We lived in different times. It is weird that like, uh, the thing like's attacking cars. Okay, I'm gonna tell you this is the exact fact, same costume as this is. It looks like very similar. I'm fucking zooming in. It's from a YouTube. I don't know how Aaron did that. Aaron was like zooming in it.

Yeah, I don't.

Okay, yeah, carried away. I'll just say this one. Why not the lizard man sightings aren't the thing of a past. In fact, these stories are getting more frequent. Oh they she saw him outside her house. Damage to the car. Uh. She sent a photo of the lizard creature to the local news. A few months afterwards, a man summoned, submitted a video. Summoned summoned a video, submitted a video. As sightings increased in frequency and more people started believing in the lizard man, they did.

So it's real, right, yeahs.

I wish I had my fake news button.

Oh, retard alert re tartle it.

Okay, the police, Okay, the police take lizard man reports seriously. Okay, Well, that's okay.

Police.

Uncommon, Yeah, the police. It's not uncommon for law enforcement to write off cripet reports as the product of overactive imaginations. However, South Carolina's Lee County is the exception. While the area embraces the creature as a bit of a local flavor, the police department still takes reports seriously. They've received multiple reports of sightings over the last ten years and investigated these allegations even when they sounded dubious. It's all a

Oh my god, you won't care. They're like leave your car keys by your door so they can the criminals from foreign countries.

Can steal cars. That's fucking crazy.

Also, realistically, that sounds like an extremely bored police force. Yeah, they're like, we got nothing going on, man, let's make sure every call that comes in.

I like, I love.

That they can't keep going back to Billy Bob Joe's like trailer park to break up him and his is his wife.

You know, we're all getting fired next year if we don't come up with something.

So I just picture like the police always showing up to report of some guy named like Billy Ray, Billy.

Bob, you know what I mean.

Yeah, or Becky Becky, Becky Lee or some ship and you like, they show up and it's as she's like mid point throwing bottles at him. It's like, you guys always have to do this every Saturday. It's like, you know, after they're drinking a bunch of whiskey.

Just keeping the police force busy, that's all.

It's true, that's true.

The one domestic violence couple.

I wish.

There's a video of a guy that there's a video of a cops video and the guy's like got like a a python in his house. He's like, I keep a lot of weird things in my house. And the cops show up and they're like going through his house and there's like he's like smoking crack in front of them and stuff, and they're like like it's like it's one of those harmless guys that like, you know, you show up and you're like, just make sure he's good. You know, everything's fine, And he's like, I used to

And then he's like he's like this is my and they're like whoa.

And there's like this massive snake like tucked in this room, a tiny little closet, and they're like, Florida is different, Florida is uh So. The lizard Man is such a mainstay of Lee County residents speculate the creature, which show

All these are all different people calling us.

Yeah, so that was the same couple, Billy, Well, that's.

A hell of a fucking run for one person.

If it was, I know it pretty far.

That that's what that's a whole county over the historical and response to the recent reports about possible paranorm activity associated with the upcoming total eclipse. SMID does not know if lizard men become more active during the solar eclipse, but eisde We don't know if you're gonna be we're active, but you should keep.

It at you lizard men plural, Okay, lizard men not man.

You know why more than I'm.

Gonna I'm gonna look.

I'm gonna look, and we're gonna do an episode about female cryptids because all I can think of is lockedness.

Off the top of my head.

That may be a feat like Nassy, but that's probably a male too.

Yeah, why are we assuming that them off manner than that?

At all?

I know it could be a mothber man.

You guys just found an awesome end to like getting a whole group of people.

To start looking into this stuff a lot more thoroughly.

They think it's a moth man because they saw.

His cue carry on. Fair enough, Well, I guess that's fair.

I'm so glad Billy's internet not mine. Am I lying that bad?

You?

You were lying bullshit?

Yeah? See, well I've actually I've actually never had a problem when I've recorded with Marie.

Ever, I don't think we've ever had a problem with recording.

No, it's fucking dumb. He even by a whole new computer.

I did butt a whole fucking desktop set up, so it's all fucking pitchy keen.

I got full bars. Everything's as good as it humanly can be.

Go tell your roommates one bar, but it should be good.

Go tell your roommates, go walk out the door. And like everybody's up fucking using the internet.

Yeah that could be. It could be too many people using it at once. But I mean all my kids are on there, all my kids, my two kids are on there. Why I don't know, Oh, I got I got full fires.

I just I live in Brunswick, so like they don't really have like high speeds in the first place.

Population is far maybe just far away, too far away from what Ontario. Well, I'm I'm in Manitoba, so we're real far Manitoba.

Oh fuck, I'm heading down there. I'm then the steinback. Let's throw all my family.

Is really I have? That's Winnipeg. That's so close, No way, Yeah.

It's Winnipeg also turning into Pakistan.

That's what I heard.

I cannot confirm or deny anything being said.

It's it's funny because Marie stays away from my racist talk.

She I bring her into it sometimes.

Are you avoid.

I avoid another?

Are you now she's gotta keep up appearing enough?

Oh cool, let's destroy that for your next If you go into Walmart? How bad does Walmart now smell?

I mean, to be fair, I think it's always smelled.

That's true, all the like. To be honest, it's not. It's like, you know, I can't. You can't always generalize.

Politician answer Listen.

Listen though, if you go into Walmart, think about even in the like late night, early two thousands, I'll say a lot of pajama pants. You know a lot of white people just wear pajamas because they're like, I don't feel like getting I don't want to dressed to myself today.

I'll just wear what I wore last night.

I got it as a whole.

Yeah.

Just like YouTube clip of people of Walmart, I love like a You ever watched that on YouTube?

It's awesome.

It's just all the people.

Yeah, that's what it is.

It's just all compiled into one lovely seven minute video and it's fucking hilarious.

I hate Walmart.

I hate it.

Don't like going there. There's many reasons why, more than one.

It's it's probably very deep rooted.

Wait you know what, because I'm having a kid and stuff like that, Like that's where we got our crib.

That's where we.

Got like the the mattress for the crib. Like there's no baby shot. I'm like, why isn't there businesses being promoted where it's like an entire baby place.

Are they like like oshby Gosh or whatever, Like.

There's like clothing stores, but there's not like a designated area where it's like there's small little businesses because we don't have that anymore in Canada.

We can't make money.

But like you know what I mean, like designated for like babies, Like you think that would make money, but it's like just go to Walmart and get it because that's the only place that has anything.

Well yeah, you're saying even if there was, like because if babies are us like toys business too. Yeah, but you know what, it's so expensive, so it's like, you know, you probably go to Walmart anyway because any like like like niche store is gonna be like trip double triple the price. And we went to Fort's.

We went to what's that Swedish store, uh a Kia and it's uh the what they're charging for like a garbage like dress or something is crazy. I was shaking one. I was like, this is fucking it's five hundred bucks. I'm like I could. I could build this thing for one hundred and fifty dollars. Like it's falling apart. I was like, look at this. You think this is gonna hold my clothes? You kidding?

You're the first person that I think they put it together wrong. But like, I can't furnish.

It's awesome, it's not I love baby.

I like it too. We got all our baby stuff from.

There is so too.

But I imagining I'm imagining you and I shaking a dresser like the lizard man attacking.

What is this garbage? Just the price of some of the ship. I was like, this is garbage. This is like I was like, look at this wood, you know, I felt like it like I feel like a nineteen fifties.

Dad or something like that.

I live at his ship and I like knock on it like it's gonna fall plot.

It's like kick it ship.

You're one of those guys that go, I'm never I'm gonna make that myself. He's gonna go home, and it's never gonna get made.

I work at I do work at a metal shop. I'll make it all out of metal and weigh fucking you know, like three hundred pounds. Baby friendly, put it in a cage. All right, So this is supposed to be a video of the creature, so might as well play it. If there's an ad, I'm gonna scream.

Probably it's a good ad. Oh maybe we'll get paid for it. Play it and then and then.

It's not like.

Play it.

You can see if I can find on YouTube.

It's letting me play. I'm playing.

Okay, you're playing it? Did you share screen?

Yeah?

I don't know. Sorry, I'm just laughing at it because it's just a dude walking up.

Like, yeah, it's not you can if you hear the reactions, it's like, not really, you.

Don't know how to share a screen on here? Oh okay, I say, I don't use this, so you shift them bought share screen?

Is it gonna work?

Oh?

I have a news a news article lizard man spotted in?

All right? Why why did I not work?

Can you see this?

Wow? What are you watching?

Scary?

Like blue Muscles or trailer Davidson?

Is that billy? That no that's Bill skass guard.

Fuck.

Hey, I'm trying to work out. Okay, there's some glue exercise. I gotta bild up those glutes. Okay, and.

No, I guess.

You think that was a coyote?

What do you think that was?

What was it?

Do you see it? Where? Holy crap?

Is ever so nonchalantly?

Come on, you wouldn't. You wouldn't be like, holy crap, what is that thing? You know? You'd be like I would freak out, Like if me and Billy were in the woods, or me and cell and I see some sort of like like like lizard creature. I wouldn't be like, holy crap, do you see that thing? Yeah? You see that?

Like? No, yeah, well he was. He looked pretty, I mean from okay, compared to the costume one to that one. Like this guy was so like I like how you.

I like how you did like a blonde, like.

Oh oh my god.

Okay, wow, that's actually pretty. I like that.

I've ever heard you do that before.

That's funny.

Voice is like my hidden talent, just the old snip. Okay, okay, am I reading this? Okay? Of course, cryptids sightings encouraged jokers to try to fake their way to fame. The crew of Factor faked Paranormal Files I used to watch that show, created an original video of the creature. They worked on the project with a friend with a friend experienced in creating lizard like special effects, and developed a

God, I know, because I would have reacted better. So I don't have you ever watched comic book Men? I feel like you might watch that show, Kevin Smith show I.

Maybe a little bit way way way back in the days old.

So like we's got we have stack TV, So we started. I started watching it again. It was like my kind of like comfort show I'd watched while I was researching

My brother lives in South Carolina, and I just want to like text my sister in law with this and be like, do you guys see the lizard man? You guys go look for the lizard Man? And the man.

Why he's Canadian? Why is he living in South Carolina? Why was South Carolina place to go?

Job? They got their full scholarship and got their university degrees and at need a university a notre name. Wow, and yeah, both of them scholarship for what a political science? And yeah? And also they'll never move back to Canada. And they hate it here.

I hate it here.

They love America. They love America.

I want to get a political science degree. Hey, all of this is bullshit. They just lie to you and tell you what you want to hear.

I don't want to say. That's pretty much what they believe, but that's not what they can say at work.

Let me tell you what you want to hear.

You know.

Unfortunately, I think America is going to go very down hill, maybe even quicker than the Canada is.

We're a little safe space to summer garden.

But Trump does love Israel, and Israel is trying to destroy all the regional enemies.

So it's I'm cutting this off right now, and do not stop. What about elis Man? What's next?

That's so you want to talk about Jews? The Cotton Museum of Bishopville. Uh, I don't.

Know hey, keep pause for a second.

Keep my daughter's walking.

That's more than okay, good job, No it souks weird.

Keep bring the cat, Bring the cat.

Oh recently, don't worry. It's sounds fart because you're fine. But I don't know if it was like two s it's you're totally great. So you do my big furnace and everything back. I'm in, like my basement, Cougars, that's not spaceship, it's a furnace. I'm in the basement. That was so fucking wholesomely adorable.

I'm having a daughter.

I can't wait.

But she's like, is it okay that I made my own peanut butter jam sandwich. I'm like, yeah, she's the best.

I'm excited for when they're that they can speak and think for themselves.

It's the baby stages. If you need moral support, I'm here. Okay, I'll put it out there.

Uh, it's funny, Billy. Marie's like, I'm interested to see you. She's like, I'm interested to see if your sense of humor changes when you have kids, because I was I made like a dead baby joke on.

The one episode.

Yeah, She's like, we'll see if you're sets of humor changes and I was like, I don't know if it will.

Though it's weird, like I used to watch horror movies where like kids were just dying and like parents are crying and they're dead babies and children. I'm like, Eh, once I have kids, I'm like, I'm not watching this movie. If there's anything to do with that in here, I'll check the parents guide. I'm like, Okay, I can't watch it.

I can't deal. The footage from Palestine still disturbs me.

To the stage, there's a good sit off. I forget who does it. I think it's tomp Cigarette. He's like, oh man, having kids change you. He's like, I fucking hope. So you're kind of you just have shows and You're like, I'm still the same guy. He's like, you're very unstable.

Tom Sigur is a fucking psychopath. Though I, me and Chelsea have watched his live special. We watched the one with Bobby Lee on it on Christmas. They know we I'm so glad didn't do mushrooms during this. We don't worry. We're on the time limit. It's essentially Billy is fun fact next. But we watched it on Christmas. I was like, this will be fun. I've never seen one of his live specials, and yeah, I watched.

Uh.

I watched a guy.

Put or to like Christmas lights into his foreskin. Uh, that's what I watched Tom. I will never forget this ship. We watched Pine Needles go into a woman's vagina. I closed my eyes and just like, don't look right now. And there was a knife instead of a woman's vagina. That's what Tom Sigurt does. That's his live specials. It's fucked even Bobby Lee. Bobby Lee was like, I'm not your friend anymore. I'm not your friend anymore. It wasn't it was fucked. I will never watch any of that

Does he have kids? Tom Syrul, Yes, Yeah. People didn't change him very much change how messed up was he before?

He's laughing while showing Bobby Lee all these videos, and Bobby Lee's like, I don't like you anymore.

We're not friends.

Like I didn't know you're into this, Like I.

Know it's fucked up for anyone out there. If you're like, oh, I love Tom's the girl. I'm gonna watch a one of his live specialist. I consider you a psychopath. You're fucking sick.

Funny.

So there's also there's frame like plaster cast. I think we showed some of that of the alleged footprints. There's newspaper clippings. Oh, there's a gift shop. Uh, they're chronicling the stories of the lizard Man. Additionally, in the exhibit includes information suggested that lizer Man uh whatever that says maybe a confects. Can you read that for me?

I just closed it because you're reading the last thing?

So effects do you see that?

I'm looking Yeah, wait, I'm going way down. Okay, Uh carnif carn effects carro carol nnense. No, I don't know what that is.

I'm the scientific name for an extinct, extinct prehistoric creature nine foot tall.

Yeah. The museum, the owner.

The museum owner says that he accepts lizards Man items because they.

Might get lost otherwise.

And I was gonna be like, I accept lizard Man because he's the only of his kind. You know.

He's like, I'm accepting of him.

I accept I accept him as well.

All right, it's time for that day.

Yeah, Yeah, I'm so happy I don't have to yell at anymore.

He used to yell at every episode. I used to make him. We used to play that sound effect and he would just scream my basement WI. It's like, well, I knew the episode was ending because I heard him yelled at.

Fox sikes. Switzerland is very progressive when it comes to oddly specific animals. So it is illegal to own just only one guinea pig. You're not allowed, weird can't. You will get fined a ridiculous amount of money, and that guinea pig will get taken away from you if you don't at least have two, because they're a social creature and it is a horrible thing to leave them alone individually. That's a literal law. That's a written in their fucking law book.

I have a question. I have a question. Where's that Switzerland is? That's Switzerland Switzerland? Yeah, did Switzerland do lockdowns during COVID? Didn't let people their houses and interact with one another, because I wouldn't and we shouldn't be alone. So it's okay for us and not.

There's one that didn't.

If it was Switzerland, that'd be that would make so much sense.

I think it was. Was it Sweden or Switzerland that really didn't lock down one place? So in uh, I try this really quick day.

Okay, So Switzerland was locked down from March sixteenth to March twentieth.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, they okay, they carry.

Okay, then I then then I believe this now, but it's okay. All gatherings of more than five people were still banned.

It's like, was it so like they were like fully on lockdown like most shops are kind.

Of you know what.

Honestly, I guess that kind of describes what we had. You can still go out, you just couldn't like conjugate.

I'm glad that I did. Wow, I looked up what I did and it's not it's not it's not good. There was a place like Sweden or Switzerland that like, uh, they were the lowest crime they had the lowest crime rate in the world. And then during the Syrian refugee thing, they let in hordes of migrants and they became the our word capital of the world. And I'm pretty sure I thought it was. I think it's Switzerland.

I think it's sweet.

I think it's Sweden, and it's funny it's Swiss, Swiss tourists gang our word in central India. Well, no wonder, I'm sorry, but always gets sorry brought up.

They did it, they did.

They did pretty much exactly what Canada did, but they only did it from March to April, like late a so beginning marshed to late April is a two month thing. But they did exactly what we did.

Here was the animals, Gerbils, hamsters, guinea pek, very very very keen on the guinea pig.

The priest would like that, I'm capting my ass one too too.

One, two, two three. We'll figure it out.

Isn't that The part is that, so.

Let me winks?

When doesn't the priest put like, uh like hamsters up his ass? And then the whole episode is the hamster going through like the priests ass.

Isn't that it's not.

A priest, it's mister slay. Oh yeah, and it's it let me winks, traveling through the great Sincta and he runs into the little like mirages that like the frog and everything in the bird. I love that episode.

I love so fund out that they do like that, Like that was the most absurd. She still was the most absurd show. I haven't watched any years, and they didn't they kill themselves like lem me wings they like they they did that in Disney, were like they commit mass suicide. But it was all the producers pushing them off a cliff.

I don't remember.

Yeah, you got it.

So this was fun.

I'm actually really glad we brought everybody together. This has actually been fun. Even Aaron was like, we had like I would like to do, so we'll talk about stuff off air, but like I have ideas for the show, bring them all of us together for certain like kind of fun livestream things I want to do. But uh, that was a lot of fun. I appreciated ready for tuning in. That was it's cool to bring everyone together. Usually it's just me and Marie, or me and Billy,

Absolutely, you're on the spot now.

It was a spot, that's honest.

She has the same sense of humorous, doesn't she.

Yeah.

I mean I'm like, I can make fun of her. I try to ruin her fucking podcast. She still gave me a political answer annoying.

It's just so funny.

I like destroying people's lives. It makes me happy you're a politician, fair enough.

Yeah, it is funny because, like we were just talking because you are also doing the podcast, and I was like, oh, yeah, the same sense of humor as kind of we do. I sell clips and then we're like, okay, I want to bring you on the show. Just see what happens. And it's interesting that, Like I what I told Billy, I was like, this will be a fun dynamic, right, And you know, we've it's we've had like Billy's friends that were females on the show before or like and

Yeah.

Yeah, So I'm excited. There's a lot of stuff that we can do. I have a plenty of ideas. Uh, so I will end it there, and you want to shout your stuff. Billy doesn't have anything other than final If you're if you hear some weird sounds in your attic, make sure it's not a Billy.

Probably chance, but he won't be moving a piano. That's it. That's where he draws them.

It's so creepy. Someone's like, I heard a piano playing in my attic the other day.

It came with the house though he's not moving it, saying shout myself out. Okay, I I have I'm on a podcast, not a Strong Start on YouTube and uh Spotify list your podcasts all at we kind of on a little bit of hiatus right now just because of just just technical stuff. But I had lots of stuff on there at my own show on the Not a Strong Star podcast called Replace It All, and I talk about movies and video games, pop culture stuff, horror stuff,

So that sounds like such a fun times the most enjoyable situation I can possibly think.

Of our But our posts and stuff that we've done are still getting likes, like a lot of likes and stuff like that.

People seem interested.

So like Aaron's like, I keep saying I'm gonna bring it wrong, and I was like, yeah, you should because I think you would fit in with class forecast and even like it's interesting because Billy's never been on there and it will be interesting. Like Aaron's like, I want to start doing this like kind of like shifting it towards like hey, we can all be that kind of a gang, you know, and part of the same kind.

Of crew coffee.

Yeah, you know what I mean a Possums play.

Dead, you know, Wenna, are we gonna be the Nazis.

Okay, just.

So everyone is clear, the word Nazi comes from Ashkar Nasi. But the word Nazi, why they called them that was because they were calling them country bumpkins. If you literally look up what does Nazi mean, it means country bumpkin. So it's just a name to make fun of nat socks. That's what they call them now National socialists.

That sucks? Is that weird?

Also?

Fun fact? That's sound effect.

Oh I got I got one for that.

I got one for that.

Just to end it on, just makes sense.

Right, mine, mine, not anything.

I don't know what you say, but it's probably something interesting, I guess, he said,