There’s a new baby-sitting conglomerate in town and their unique brand of baby-sitting, including sizzle reels, peer-to-peer influencer marketing, and encouraging self-sufficiency by allowing kids to play in traffic threatens to put our precious Baby-Sitters Club out of business. The boys outsource that conversation to trusted Business Scions Goliath Hardbody and Mark Markson, and then speak with Baby-Sitters Club showrunner Rachel “The Hand of God” Shukert about what parts they should play on t...
Jul 20, 2020•1 hr 33 min
This week we find out that the Phantom Phone Caller was inside us all along, which certainly explains why he’s still at large, but somehow isn’t any less frightening. Trevor Sandbourne takes advantage of the (hopefully) temporary non-existence of Pete Black to be the coolest guy in Stoneybrook, and The Hand of God introduces the world to the very first of our Johns. Meanwhile ... dolls. Things are really heating up over here! Music credits: “Overture,” by Lionheart “Fanfare Symphony,” by Silverh...
Jul 13, 2020•1 hr 6 min
This week, the boys slam on the brakes of the Friends Forever series and smash through their windshields right into the first episode of the Baby-Sitters Club Netflix show, cleverly titled “The Baby-Sitters Club.” Prepare for a pulse-pounding, bomb-on-the-bus thrill ride as they explore the dangerous new world of Stoneybrook 2020. With edgy, in-your-face characters such as Beret Lady, the Hand of God, and Bat Girl, this provocative new take on the BSC is an instant classic, and these boys are go...
Jul 06, 2020•1 hr 2 min
Unchastened by their disastrous attempts to heckle 8-year-olds during “Claudia’s First Thanksgiving,” not to mention the censorship fiasco in “Mary Anne and the Library Mystery,” Stoneybrook’s surprisingly resilient community of book-burning fascists are back at it again this week trying to get a teacher fired for assigning “Catcher in the Rye.” Is there anyone out there who can stop them? Weirdly, no. The title of this novel doesn’t actually have any bearing on the events in it, but it’s a romp...
Jun 29, 2020•1 hr 10 min
According to Merriam Webster, a “Friendship Feud” is when you have a big feud with your friend about whether it’s somehow a good thing that Stacey and Claudia are fighting and tearing apart the very fabric of the BSC, or whether it is, in fact, a bummer. This was not by any means a bummer of a book though, because it was elegantly and artfully written by the great Laura Dower, from the spectral realm where she lives. Anyway, the boys spend a lot of energy this week discussing Ann’s new ghostwrit...
Jun 22, 2020•1 hr 16 min
Ann continues to take a wrecking ball to what remains of our beloved baby-sitting club, this time reducing the passionate and (literally) timeless love affair that began with BSC #10, “Logan Likes Mary Anne” to a pile of dust and rubble. But that’s only the half of it. What’s got these two Weyniacs really worried is an even darker force that Ann has unleashed on Stoneybrook: Something angry. Something fierce. Something … lupine. Music credits: “Dramatic End,” by Tim Cat “Classic Arcade Video Gam...
Jun 15, 2020•1 hr 11 min
With her Wine Crimes in the rearview mirror, Stacey McGill tries her hand at betrayal. Meanwhile, as Stoneybrook reels from what is presumably a five-alarm baby-sitting shortage, two strangers walk into town with their heads held high and their hearts set on chaos. Will Jeremy and Rachel be the lovable new characters we never knew we wanted, or are they just going to ruin everything? Jury’s still out on that, but the boys find a way to have fun anyway, doing a big “ship,” talking about fashion, ...
Jun 08, 2020•1 hr 22 min
Total mystery what Kristy’s Big News is this week, but Patrick Thomas is getting married and he can’t do that without every member of his estranged, alienated, angry, and abandoned family by his side! Except David Michael for some reason. Also this week: Shark People, Heraclitus, and a timely checkin with WebMD. Music credits: “Fun Quirky Retro,” by Pink Zebra “Dark Skies,” by Marco Belloni Music “Vibe,” by Marble Space “The Prophecy,” by Fox Beat “Sad to Hopeful,” by The Story Shop Thanks as al...
Jun 01, 2020•1 hr 11 min
It had long been foretold that Kristy would be betrayed nine times before the end. But even after Dawn and Mallory turned their backs on her, no one was prepared for the onslaught that followed. The boys return to Stoneybrook this week to sift through the smoldering ashes of what had once been a safe haven. There’s also kind of a surprising amount of discussion about the British mope-rock band, Keane. Everything changes! Music credits: “Nostalgia,” by Raspberry Music “Everybody Changes,” by Kean...
May 25, 2020•1 hr 14 min
Failing to heed their own best advice, the boys bring dolls into the sanctity of their homes and play with them. But these aren’t just any dolls: They’re the short-lived but presumably beloved 1991 line of Remco Baby-Sitters Club Dolls, complete with fun accessories like “a hot dog” and terrifying, mutated “halfling” versions of themselves. Music credits: “Virtual Insanity,” by Jamiroquai Thanks as always to original Baby Boy Scott Lamb for the intro music, and to actual baby, Cyril, for the out...
May 18, 2020•1 hr 24 min
The California Diaries are over. The time has come for us to roll up our JNCOs, gather up our empty bottles of MD 20/20, feed our Furbies one final time, and wave farewell to Ducky, Amalia, Maggie, Sunny, and Dawn, as they walk—arm in arm—into the warm, comforting glow of Pacific Sunwear. And what is that beautiful music we hear on the wind, like a whispered promise? Could it possibly be an angel, saying, just softly enough for us to hear … "THANK U." Music credits: “90s Alternative Rock,” by FU...
May 11, 2020•1 hr 13 min
OK so Brendan’s acting super weird because he wasn’t there for Amalia when these girls harassed her outside the movie theater and Dawn doesn’t know it but Ducky and Sunny are planning this big surprise party for her? And Meat Pete wrote this one but he didn’t put any baby-sitting in it and ORIM erased something pretty important and the girls are turtles. Got that? Good. Music credits: “90s Alternative Rock,” by FUNTOMASS “It Takes a Village,” by Raffi “Jazz Sad Hip Hop,” by Black Stone Sound “Ro...
May 04, 2020•1 hr 18 min
Maggie Blume is dating literally the hottest guy in the world! And if you think that’s Pacey from Dawson’s Creek, you’ve made the biggest mistake of your life, because now the irradiated ghosts that stalk your hallways while you sleep are going to stop your lying mouth with their spectral fingers and make you think again. That was quite a journey, wasn’t it? It was for us, too! Strap in for the episode so nice, we did it twice. Music credits: “90s Alternative Rock,” by FUNTOMASS “Jazz Sad Hip Ho...
Apr 27, 2020•1 hr 8 min
Ugh, this one was pretty brutal. Sunny’s mom dies, Sunny’s dad can’t make it through his eulogy at the funeral because he’s crying so hard, and Tanner spends entirely too long talking about which characters from Duck Tales he finds the most attractive. Truly a tough one to get through without crying. Music credits: “90s Alternative Rock,” by FUNTOMASS “Rock,” by Studio Monkey “Surf Rock Chase Scene,” by Sun Channel Music “Three Days,” by K.D. Lang “Constant Craving,” by K.D. Lang Thanks as alway...
Apr 20, 2020•1 hr 17 min
Will Sunny and Dawn ever be friends again? Will there ever be a singer as handsome as Belgian heartthrob Pierre X from Jax? Will the mysterious publishing entity known only as ORIM ever get THEIR KNIVES OUT OF OUR BACKS? That’s right, this week Sunny and Dawn are at war with each other, Jax is at war with the notoriously finicky American music market, and we’re at war with ORIM. It’s not going to be pretty. Music credits: “90s Alternative Rock,” by FUNTOMASS “Rock,” by Studio Monkey “Surf Rock C...
Apr 13, 2020•1 hr 19 min
YNAW, Poundmasters! Ann gave us a sensitive and heavy topic to chew on this week, so we stepped up to the plate like we always do in these situations and did a really deep dive into some other stuff entirely! Look for an extremely detailed conspiracy theory involving Freddy Prinze Jr., some powerful new insights into what’s going on with Ducky, and a surprisingly lengthy discussion of the marginally successful 2001 film Thirteen Ghosts. Music credits: “90s Alternative Rock,” by FUNTOMASS “Rock,”...
Apr 06, 2020•1 hr 18 min
Which of us would not sacrifice the very world for just one glimpse of his baggy jeans; his suave super-gelled Brian Austin Green hair; his shy, bluish-green eyes; his edgy but approachable Operation Ivy T-shirt? His name is Brendan Jones, formerly of Short Hills, New Jersey. And he gave Amalia a single rose at the Homecoming Bash during that one Vanish song. You know the one. “Bliss it was in [the late ‘90s] to be alive But to be [a broody teen] was very heaven.” ― William Wordsworth, The Prelu...
Mar 30, 2020•1 hr 25 min
The boys settle in for a pleasant and relaxing evening babysitting a gaggle of grumpy teens. Truth Translation: We’re pretty out of our depth here! Things are totally going off the rails with Maggie, and Dawn’s not helping, and Sunny is MIA, and there’s no more box wine in the cabinet because we already drank it all to calm our nerves THIS MORNING!!! OK, deep breath. Everything’s fine. We’re fine. Nothing to worry about here. Truth Translation: *muffled screams.* Music credits: “90s Alternative ...
Mar 23, 2020•1 hr 13 min
Dawn’s stepmother Carol is in the hospital getting ready to bring new life into the world. Sunny’s mother is in the very same hospital looking at the light at the end of the tunnel. Her intentions fall to the floor. It is at this point that the angel closes her eyes, and the confusion that was hers belongs now to the baby down the hall. I can feel it. Not to belabor the point, but in this one, lightning ... definitely ... crashes. Music credits: “90s Alternative Rock,” by FUNTOMASS “Walking in M...
Mar 16, 2020•1 hr 16 min
Sunny is in a bad mood because of circumstances beyond her control and she’s being a glum plum and bringing everybody down, which is fine, it happens, but that doesn’t mean that it’s OK for her to lash out and take it out on her friends who are just trying to help her. But I don’t know what to do and like I said it’s not my fault and I’m sorry but I’m not really sorry I’m just feeling out of sorts and wait, who are we talking about again? Anyway, this one’s a good one. Pete wrote it I think. Mus...
Mar 09, 2020•1 hr 19 min
The Cro-Mags are whispering to each other and snickering, as if you’re too dumb or too INVISIBLE to figure out that they’re laughing at YOU. So you do the only thing you can do: You grab your Discman and put on your headphones and lose yourself in the latest episode of the California Diaries, where the boys are talking about The Purge and Resident Evil and a bunch of other stuff that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense but ANYTHING is better than Cro-Mags. Anything is better than trying to be some...
Mar 02, 2020•1 hr 18 min
It took four books, but we finally get a taste of that Good Clean Baby-Sitting Fun we’ve been so desperately craving this week, from the unlikely direction of Amalia Vargas. She isn’t even in the We Heart Kids Club, but she took pity on us and stopped by a women’s shelter to look after some kids on the way to break up with her toxic boyfriend. A truly scintillating novel, made even more so by the thoughtful inclusion of baby-sitting. Was that so difficult? Music credits: “90s Alternative Rock,” ...
Feb 24, 2020•1 hr 15 min
When you have a choice between watching the star-studded world premiere of “Fatal Judgment” or being in the crowd at the Battle of the Bands for the first-ever performance by Vanish featuring Maggie Blume on keyboards and backup vocals, there’s only one choice you can make: Go to both of them. That’s right, the boys have front-row seats at both of the hottest tickets in Palo City this week, and you can be sure they’re gonna be wearing their extra-large Jncos. Music credits: “Vibe,” by Marble Spa...
Feb 17, 2020•1 hr 13 min
Everything is still very, very late '90s out here in California and we're all pretty worked up about it. But we're grown adults, so we're going to do the only responsible thing we can in the situation: Throw a copy of "On the Road" into our Jansports, strap on our blades, and blow off class for a day at the beach with a handsome and slightly suspicious drifter named Carson. Hope is a disease. Music credits: “90s Alternative Rock,” by FUNTOMASS “90s Grunge Rock Epic Song,” by Blue Sky Audio “Rock...
Feb 10, 2020•1 hr 14 min
Edgier, more grownup, full of alcohol and angst and bad decisions. Cool. Sullen. Sarcastic. Mad at the whole world and ready to explode. These are just a few words to describe podcast hosts Jack Shepherd and Tanner Greenring. And this week, they’re embarking on an exciting new journey as they follow the BSC’s Dawn Schafer across the country to sunny California for fun, frolicking, and friendship! I wonder what new babies she will sit and what kind of wholesome and agreeable things she will get u...
Feb 03, 2020•1 hr 12 min
A wonderfully surreal and slightly scary world awaits all those who are brave enough to crawl through the looking glass, speak their own secret names aloud, and become new initiates of the legendary Baby-Sitters Club. But this is just the beginning of the quest, and danger awaits: Will the boys be confounded by the deadly Puzzle Box, disoriented by the mysterious Map Game, or debilitated by the incessant ringing of Claudia’s terrible telephone? Answers: Yes, yes, and yes. Fortunately, these guys...
Jan 27, 2020•1 hr 17 min
Trained from a young age by an elite academy for assassins, Associate Baby-Sitter Shannon Kilbourne is ready for the biggest mission of her life when she runs into resistance from the place she least expects it: Her own mother. The boys travel back in time from the dystopian wasteland they’ve been trapped in to learn more about Shannon’s Story in a last, desperate attempt to save the future before the BSC Readers’ Request books run out. Oh, and Mrs. Barrett was in this one and, um, she was … um,...
Jan 20, 2020•1 hr 8 min
The boys head back in time to get frisky with some whales and check up on what Logan Bruno’s up to, which, WOW! He’s fallen in with a group of ‘50s greasers called The Badd Boyz and led by a cigarette-smoking, shoplifting, leather-jacket-wearing rude dude called T-Jam who makes Stacey’s well-documented Wine Crimes look like a walk in the park. And that’s all real! That’s what this wonderful book is actually about. What a gift. What a time to be alive. Music credits: “Ambient Cosmic Soundscape,” ...
Jan 13, 2020•1 hr 7 min
The boys are both canceled this week, sadly, along with Pete Black, Logan, and everybody else on the SMS Gladiators track team except Austin Bentley. And this is their YouTube Apology video. But despite the setback (and another more extreme one that has trapped one of them in 18th Century Glasgow), they valiantly make their way through this fascinating Readers’ Request about Logan Bruno. ‘Cuz Ann finally made one that’s just for the guys. Music credits: “Celtic Adventure,” by Allen Grey “Baa, Ba...
Jan 06, 2020•1 hr 14 min
Jack takes a seat on the bench so that Regular Tanner and Future Tanner can solve the maddening puzzle that Jeanne Betancourt has created this week in the form of “Abby’s Book.” This mostly involves being incredibly sad about the fate of the surprisingly handsome Jonathan Stevenson, who — as fans of the BSC know all too well — went to ride the Rainbow Road far too soon. Music credits: “Epic Cinematic Sci-Fi,” by Luca Francini “Are You Sleeping,” by Skrianski Music “Showtime,” by Stockwaves “Sexy...
Dec 30, 2019•1 hr 13 min
