I come back to my dad and my older cousin, and I'm like, some random old man just kissed me on my forehead.
That there is my friend DeMarcus Sean better known as art by DeMarcus.
Now.
DeMarcus is hands down one of my favorite creators of all time. He's got a rare ability to create the most specifically mundane, relatable characters and scenarios, such as the guy who shows off he's in the hospital on social media, or some overgrown kid on crutches on the sideline of a football game, or my personal favorite, some random lady sitting next to you when you're being recognized for something good.
DeMarcus and I sat down. He told me about some of the weird characters that he's encountered in his life. I'm will po V McFadden and this is hashtag story time brought to you by iHeartRadio. Do you have a story to tell, because I would love to hear a story.
Ooh, I do so. Okay, So this is when when I was younger, a little youngin and I grew up playing basketball all right, same and I wasn't like the best basketball player at all, but this game I did amazing.
Okay, what what what?
What?
Where? Where are we?
I was about, I would have to say ages. I can't really remember the exact age. I think it's anywhere between eight to maybe twelve, okay, somewhere in that range.
And where and where were you growing up in terms of like like what what city?
What town? Like? Oh, this is down towards Chicago, okay, all right? And you know I was at a tournament, you know, which is all day event. I had about, like I believe, like two games that day. Yeah, and it was our last game and I scored like this was my first time scoring like at least around like twenty points now and again all right, and I you know, I did myself, you know I did. I think I did pretty good.
Like you know, triple double, no big deal.
Yeah, I'm like I can I can hold a shot? Yeah?
And what position were you playing? Were you center?
Were you? I was small for it at that time? All right? But I had came out of the actual like gymnasium to just give me something to drink, you know, like a gatorade or something.
Yeah, you got a hydrate?
Yeah? You know.
I was always like Fred, like an half type.
Look me too. I usually get nachos and everything every single time. But I used to be like, what are you doing with that? Like I'm hungry, come on, I'm
for the breakfast. He's like healthy. But I had came out, got me my gatorade, and like this random guy comes up to me and he's like he looked at me and he's like, congratulations, my son, and it's like a very weird seductive sound, and mind you, he looks around like he was it's like a whisper, but like he's standing right in front of me, so it's like he's
like looking down and he's like, congratulations my son. And on the dribble double, I guess, and he like bends down and kissed me on my forehead and then he just leaves. It's just like he in my mind, he like disappears in the distance, just leave.
Did he back did he back away?
Or he just turned around and walked away. And I'm just sitting there like what just happened? Did this really just happened? So then I come back to like my dad and my older cousin and I'm like, some random old man just kissed me on my forehead and congratulate and like congratulated me, but he's just like, kind of I guess molested me.
I know he didn't ask for consent. You got to be like give your kids my.
Forehead, you're right, And like he just walked away. My daughter's like dying laughing, and my cousin's dying laughing. I'm like, I guess y'all don't care about exactly, you know, slightly, where is he? Yeah, my dad was like Ryan laughing. He was like, only you would be in these situations. I was like, yeah, apparently, and you don't care. He's just like laughing, dying, And my cousin literally brings it
up to this day and he's just like laughing. He's like, remember you got kissed on the forehead by that random guy? And I was like yeah, And y'all did nothing to start, like literally to help me. Still traumatized.
If that man is listening right now, you gotta you have amends to make. You can't this. This is a teachable moment for all the storytime listeners out there. Don't go to basketball games and kiss young boys on their foreheads without consent.
Exactly.
It's not allowed.
You can't be doing that. It's a little bit weird and creepy. Yeah, first of all, I didn't even a handshake.
Him, handshake, good game, really proud of you, well even butt slaps. I feel like we you know, when I was playing, there was a lot of like the but I was like, hey, like come on, you know, it's a lot of like yeah, good game, good play. But it's like we got to stop the court. This is this is this is off the court. This was post game in the locker room and just to congratulations my son.
It's like, come on, dude, thank you, Like let's take take a step back. Yeah, you know, re evaluate yourself. So if you was he like, I don't know, that's the thing.
Was he like, this is my basketball tournament. I organized it. I kiss all the boys.
Maybe he came from the future.
Maybe he's me and yes, maybe he was congratulating you on your future success maybe vid comy. What if he was like, I love your content, We're going to do amazing, You're gonna kill it future, just keep.
Doing like but still like to my future self, literally consent ask first, like I still don't know you at least say like hey.
But maybe in the future, consent becomes like taboo, you know, what that'st.
But now, but but now, who knows what's gonna happen. I'm gonna remember things happen if I do go back in time to my Oh.
Yes, this was a time when consent was important. That was a thing. I remember that in the past, consent was that's a dark future.
Yeah, like we.
Always just get there was like a you know, terms and service just were checked telepathically exactly. You know, I forgot we had to verbally express consent in the past. The future is gonna suck. Oh god, where time travels real and we just go back to like our twelve year old basketball games, you would go anywhere.
Through past, suck man. We needed to consent back in those days. Now we don't need consent.
I just like the idea that you can go anywhere in time and you're like, I'm gonna go watch my basketball game when I was twelve, where I scored twenty points. It's like day to go.
To I was like, gosh, it was such After that moment, it was just such a horrific time for me.
Yeah, where you just shook for the rest of the day.
I would think. So I was just a little bit weirded out like, yeah, my brothers, my cousin, my dad, all of them still make fun of me to this day.
And they just I feel like they didn't have your back in that moment.
No, they didn't. And especially my dad. Yeah, he last every single time about it, and he's like, you're the one I got kissed on random And I'm like, yeah, you did nothing to protect me.
Yeah, now you gotta I was a child. You have to pay for my therapy now, sending you the bill.
I was like, I was a child. You could have done something. You could have chased the man down. Yeah, right, even if it's me, Even if it was me, you.
Can stop other boys from being kissed on the forehead later that day exactly.
And I'm pretty sure he made his rounds.
Yeah, I'm sure he made his mooching all the basketball players.
So anybody else that was out that game, if you hear this, we're right here. Yeah, I understand.
There's a community out there, a.
Little boys getting kissed on the forehead. This is on forehead, a random guy coming up kissing people.
If you need, we'll put some links in the description for to support groups for we Yeah, we're here for you.
We're gonna go get some therapy sessions.
Yeah, we're gonna talk this out.
Yeah, we gotta get this underway. Literally.
I would love to play a quick little game with you for a little storytelling game. We'll see how many we get through. But I love to play this game. We call it first, last, best, worst, okay, and we pick a category and then we love to hear the first of that the last time you did it, the best time you did it, or the worst time you did it. Okay, Okay, so let's do let's do jobs. Okay, So what was your first your very first job.
My very first job was a like park district job for like people that was just going into high school, so like you would do like outside groundwork.
You know how and how old were you at this time? I was about fourteen, Okay, so it's just after you got kissed. Yeah for attlee years later, get to work. I got some men now, you know, I gotta go ahead, and it's like job making that money. I'll start breaking because.
That was that was my first job. That was the first one working outside a group. It was like a whole group of my friends. We all have the same as like job together.
That's fun.
Yeah. So like it would be like it's kind of it's it's similar to like camp in a sense, like you have like one older person over like the whole group.
I'm getting like parks and rec vibes, you know, like got like our leslie nope or you know, and and you guys are running around the park setting up.
And we're just setting up stuff.
Yeah, like oh we're having a you know, a memorial chaperone.
Guy barely worked. He was supposed to be like they were supposed to cut grass. Yeah, he literally let us do whatever we wanted.
So you got to just kind of run around the park.
Yeah, getting paid, That's what he would tell us. Yeah, he would just tell us like what he got paid. He'll be like, yeah, I make like two thousand. Like he'll be like two weeks, and I'll be like, okay, good for you.
Yeah wow.
Well I'm over here sitting over here making like two fifty every two weeks. But you know, not complaining, you know.
I mean my first job, I worked at Hogan DAWs and uh, I was scooping ice cream in the palisades. Nobody ever came in. I was a terrible employee. I got us a B health rating. Single handedly health inspector watched in a while. I was eating ice cream out of a milkshake tin. I was just like scooping it, and the guy was like, uh cod put that in the dishwasher and closed the doors. You're closing your down. I was like, what, why, who are you? He's like,
I'm the health inspector idiot. I was like, oh, oh, no shucks. And then they gave us.
I would have just walked out. Yeah. I was just I clicked.
I totally. I was like, I started crying and I was like I called my boss and I was like.
Oh God, does it be like I'm an idiot? Did you at least take the like the top of ice cream that no?
I ate so much ice cream at that place, it was.
I would have took a problem. I would have took us to go gift. Yeah, like I'm taking a tub, like all right, I'm already done and I was already eating it. Might as well take away me.
I broke a lamp uh over that was hanging over the toppings, and it fell and it smashed in the middle of all the toppings and just shards of glass and all the toppings, like like the Belgian chocolate where you dip like that Russian last rush, Like, mommy, why is my tongue bleeding? Like, oh, there must be still glass in the yeah Russian. We'relette with the kids exactly, just like you want springs.
Class might glass, it might be eyes. Who knows?
Good luck?
Have fun.
Okay, so that was your first job. What was your I mean, I guess your last job with Starbucks? Okay, all right, and that was that was pretty fun, pretty fun. I was a supervisor, Okay, so you know, I me, me and my cousin worked there together, Me and my older cousin. And it was nice that you work with like you got friends.
Yeah, most of most of my job I kind of stuck around, like working with people I knew for the most part, just because like again, I'm so socially awkward, and me going into a setting where I don't know people, I'm just like, so I at least need one person, whether I know you for like a year or a few months, I need to at least have somebody else totally, you need a It was pretty fun. We played like the good cop bad cop role because we both were like team leads. So the customers, you know, like with
the employees. So like most of the time, like I would be the good cop and he would be like bad cop, Like he'll always like lay down his foot. Yeah. But me, they'll come back to me and be like literally like I just need a break. Yeah, Like my cousin name is Cashes. If you're listening, hello, They'll be like, I don't know what's going on with Cash today, Like
he's just being so rude to me. And I'll be like, I don't know, you know what, I'll talk to him, but you know, just stick to your job, and you know, I'll go ahead and talk to him.
Did you guys ever flip it and you were bad cops?
Very rarely?
If I was, I'd be like, I don't want to be bad cop anymore.
You know, he loves it. He likes it.
He like I want to be good.
He loves he loves being a bad cop because like for him, with both of us, it works. And then also it was like also like my other friend Abby, like we all like flip flopped, but most of the time when we was on a shift together, like we are still work. I'm just a person. I'd like to come in and do my work. And then the rest of it, I can kind of like chill, yeah, get
it done. So like when it's days like that, we'll all kind of like be toward the back when like all of our work is done and like have like all the rest of the employees like up toward the front. And then they'll like, let's just say, somebody asks for a manager. We'll be like you want to take it. We're like pupping me, like you want to take it? Rock paper says this, I don't feel like it today, and then cash is to go back up there. He'd be like, I was like.
It, who's asking for a manager at Starbucks?
Like there's a lot of people. You mess up. You mess up on a hot coffee.
This is not hot enough to speak to the manager.
You'll be surprised. There's been multiple times where like I accidentally, like because the coffee is supposed to run on the timer, So there's been multiple times like I'll like accidentally like not set the timer and the coffee has been sitting there like most of the day, and then like somebody get the coffee and be like it's old, and I'm like I could have swear I just made that.
I think you're wrong. I think it's I think you're.
I'll come back to the coffee. I'm like the time it was not said like they've been drinking a nasty coffee. So I'm like, it's probably a good thing I left, probably giving people like food poisoning on accident.
But you're you were a good cop, so yeah, I was.
I was a good I was the good cops.
When you first said a good cup back cup, I imagine you're doing it with the customers and be like, hey, can I get like a vent cold room and be like, I don't know, can you look?
Most of my customers love me. Actually, the customers love cash is a lot. He was like amazing towards the customers. It's like he was mean to the employees but really nice the customer. It kind of depends on which customer comes up right, because like he's like you know he when it's like a Karen and they come up, he gives like the I don't care attitude.
Yeah you got to give them what they're giving.
You, so like he it makes them more mad when he gives that attitude and he's like I really don't care, and he's like I don't get paid, like he was only there most of the time, kind of just for like the free stuff. Yeah, because he was like, I really don't need the job. I just like I'm only here like twice a week. So he was like, I'm just here for the freestyle.
I'm not going to get riled up.
Yeah. Plus like our manager like loved us, so like he was like, I'm not going to get fired anyway. So I was like, hey, you know what, live your best life. Yeah, right, live your best life.
That's the way to handle a Karen is not.
I was just sending back on you know, the little donuts I think, so there.
Just cake pops all day. Okay, So that was the last job. What about what about worst job? What's the worst job you've ever had?
Worst job? I would probably have to say when I worked at a corporate job. And mind you, it was only for like maybe like two weeks, but it was okay. But I also hated it, like I had to like answer the phone and like I'm not the best at like hearing what I hearing what somebody tells me on the phone and like trying to type it out the same time, Like it's too much pressure for me. So like I would go so slow like that I have to keep repeating it.
Like in customer service, Okay.
My name is Billy Bob Joe.
You're like okay, Jilly Bob And.
I'm like, how do you spell that? Like b L L down And I'm like okay, b L no no, b I L right right okay. And it's like it's like I would go so solid. So then like my managers will put me to the back and be like the mark you have to pick it up, like it's been like a week and a half and I'm like, dude, I don't know how to do this, Like I'm this is literally my second week out here, like let melimate. All the other people are like caught up.
Okay.
So like at the end, did I get fired from that? I got fired from that one? I got fired from now because I was going to tight and I was like it's not going to work out, and I was like I understand. I totally understand. My brother actually worked there with me, and he I like he was on shift with me when I got fired, but like he wasn't in the vicinity.
Did he walk out with you.
Like three weeks later? But I had caught him and while he was on break. He was like where did you go. I was like, oh, yeah, I got fired. He was like what and I was like, yeah, so I'm at home. I'll come back and pick you up. Yeah. He was like have fun okay, And my dad was like, well, you didn't like the job anyway? I was like yeah. My mom was like, you don't find another one next week and I was like yeah, And I ended up
finding Starbucks. Like it wasn't like next week, it was like a couple months later.
But for the best and then So that was the worst job. What was your best job?
My best job probably the movie theater.
Yeah, yeah, what did you do with the movie theater?
Literally nothing, because it's like so chill and plus like all the people that I worked with, it was all like really fun. So like let's just say ushering was like when you go around to like the movie theaters and clean them up. That was probably the best position because like nobody bothers you. You're kind of like off by yourself. You know, you can make a little click of people and you all just go into the movie
theaters clean them up together. Because like everybody has a sheet where like it just tells you which movies to go clean at what time, So like we'll all be like, what time is yours? Okay, you can come with me to mind and I'll come with you to yours right up there, you know, because the times kind of match up. So that was probably the best one.
And then you just get to also watch whatever.
Free you got free movies. The only days we couldn't come in for free was like Saturday, which none of us came in on Saturday, and even if we did, we used they gave us like Dowur passes, where like you just give a pass and you just pay a dollar to see the movie. Okay, so that was probably like sweet, yeah, and I can bring as many people pretty much, it says too people. But at the movie theater, you know when you all of your friends worked there, and they were like I brought like ten people in
at once. You know, if my manager, Jeff, he was really a really good manager, but he was very sterning on that. But if he's like listening in, Jeff, I'm so sorry. I literally brought my whole family in, and I mean the whole the cousins, aunts, everybody got in for free.
Yeah, I mean that's what you know, job's all about finding those little loopholes and perks and what. Yeah, you can like squeeze it, you know, right. Well, but now you have the best job, yes, the world, because you get to make amazed, yes, amazing content.
I think for me it's like finding a good schedule, yeah myself.
Yeah, that's super, that's important.
Yeah.
Well, thank you, DeMarcus, thank you for asking me. Thank you for your stories.
I'm honored to be on here. Thank you so much. Yeah.
Well that about does it. For this week's episode of Hashtag Storytime, Hughes shout out again to DeMarcus for coming on the pod. Make sure to check out the description for links to his socials. Also take a second hit subscribe so you don't miss next week's episode. We've got Sophia Gomez.
I'm not even kidding, Like, at this current moment in time, my tastey music is literally like the My Little Pony soundtrack. I'm not joking, Like my most I like, do you want to see my Spotify it's terrifying.
Well, we'll link the playlist in the description to.
Your No, no, it's so bad, give us.
A call out The Storytime Hotline three two, three, seven, four one eighteen seventy three and tell us your story to be featured on an upcoming episode. And if you're enjoying the podcast, please leave us a review. It helps us out a lot and I literally read every single one of them. Hashtag story Type is produced by iHeartRadio and Curativity Productions. Hosted by Will McFadden, sound designed by Tony maddox, written by Will mcfatten and Jason Shapiro, Produced
by Jason Shapiro and Daniell Lamorra. A theme song by Scott Simons