¶ Introduction to Stories of Change
Hey , welcome to Stories of Change and Creativity . I'm Judy Oskam and I thought , on this episode , I would share a little more information about my TEDx talk . And there's a reason why I want to do that because I really relied on one of my mentors to help me with the talk , and so I asked her .
She's a former broadcast journalist and PR Carole Barasch , so I asked Carole if I could turn the mic over to her and we could just chat about it , and I know she's got some questions . So , Carole , thanks so much for letting me talk you into this .
My pleasure , my pain . That's right , that's right , that's right .
Well , I'll turn the mic over to you because I really want to say , first of all , I really appreciate the help you gave me crafting this message . It was so hard to really think about what do I want to say , to be impactful and to make some sort of a share , some information that might be helpful , and you really helped me do that .
And I mean that and let's not start laughing now , but I'm serious okay , Carole: so let's break it down okay what interested you in the first place to develop and give this TED Talk
¶ Landing on a TEDx Theme
? Judy: Well , I think I saw an opportunity to challenge myself and to also share the message of you know , I don't know hope and anybody can do it and , I think , to really kind of be vulnerable and put that out there . And that's where you really helped me , kind of push me to do that .
And at first I was thinking of being a little more structured and a little more about education , but then I realized I really have that story to tell as well . So I just thought it was a good challenge for me and I would give it a try .
So when somebody gives a TED Talk , there's typically a theme . And what was your theme and how did you land on that ?
Well , the overarching theme of the entire TEDx talk at Texas State was all about education and all about higher education . So that was sort of my umbrella . That was the starting point .
But as I got into it I really thought , wow , I have kind of journeyed through and have a connection with education , and also to sort of share that the road hasn't always been smooth and it wasn't an easy path . But by saying that I thought I might be able to encourage others to take action .
So you helped me kind of focus that a little bit , and so some other colleagues of mine friends helped me focus it in my I landed on take action and figure it out along the way . Simple as that really . But it wasn't simple . Getting there was super hard .
And I remember we would have you and I would have phone call after phone call and I would send you a draft and you were my . What did I call you ? Sounding board . Sounding board . You were my concierge consultant , did I call ?
you Sounding board . You were my concierge consultant , my mentor , muse . So doing this TEDx talk required an application process and coaching and practicing , so it was a longer runway than a lot of people might think about when they hear somebody gave this kind of presentation . Tell them about the timeline .
Yeah , the timeline is where Texas State and our TEDx . They call for applications if you want to apply , and that's in the fall , and then they notify you before the holidays start . So you , you start working on this months in advance . You start really working with your coach . I think we started in january .
I started working with you earlier because I pitched you the idea . I called and said , carol , what do we do ? Why do we do this ? So it is a long , but it is a very structured . We also had to , I will add . I also had to do a live demo presentation in front of a class Did not do well .
I was the last presenter in this class and I just I got in my head that , oh my gosh , because these other people were really good . So there was a lot of mental here for me . But that's just sort of how I'm wired . So I had to really do a lot of self-talk and I talk about that in the TED Talk as well .
But we had to do presentations , we had to do connections with other . I practice it with my coach multiple times to really get it right and try and get it in the best shape possible , you know .
¶ The Coaching and Preparation Process
So throughout the process you worked with a professional coach . Tell me about the coach and what he was able to do to move this process along .
Yeah , I will say that the Department of Communication Studies at Texas State puts on this event . They are the organizers and coordinators , and when you do a TEDx , they match you with a coach , and this is a professional speech coach Now . You also were very good at that and you also helped me with that . So it was interesting .
I was able to work with my coach , mark Paz , and Mark is a professor at Texas State and working with him on a weekly basis .
This started more than a month before the February event , but we would go back and forth on the message , on the phrasing , on the sentences , and then and then you know , you and I would go back and forth and he knew that you were my personal concierge coach and you knew that I had him as a coach .
So I really tried to practice what I preached in that reaching out to mentors and reaching out to others to to be your sounding board , and I think that's so important .
I think that's fantastic , that you didn't go through this . You know , as you did it , you had to present it individually , but it really was . It became a team , a team effort .
I think that yeah for sure , and that's I just think .
I think everyone should really reach out to their friends , mentors , their personal advisory board and ask for guidance and support , because you , for instance , with such a background in broadcast news and public relations and even you did a little standup comedy in New York , I will add you're really good on your feet and you're really good with messages .
So I just shout out to you as well .
So we talked a little bit about the content . But once you did commit to the talk and you were , you know you had a coach to take you through the process . How did you , what was the process , to create the content ?
The content I started with . You know I just free-formed wrote . I just thought what is my messaging ?
I went through like you might write a speech , I guess , but really to step back and look at how does it fit in and then how can I promote some of our key programs at the university I was really intent on doing that and then to look back and find out what .
It was kind of a good look back into a history lesson of my life and tying all that together . That's where really to find out how does one section move to another , and you were really good about how do you get from here to there . So I think there was some strategy there in doing
¶ Creating Personal, Vulnerable Content
that which I learned , and I did watch some other TED Talks to find out what I felt was effective . You were really good at pacing and telling me to slow down and really just take a minute and let the audience , you know , connect with the audience . I probably could have done a better job with that , but I probably could have .
But again , it's , you know your mind is just going and you're putting yourself out there in a way that you it's not like you're doing a speech where you're looking at a script that is announcing the next award winner .
Right , this is about your life . You know , you've spent a career teaching , so you're used to being up in front of people . Right right , this differs a little bit from that . You're very comfortable getting up and giving a presentation , a lecture . What do you think makes it different than , or is it complementary to , getting up and delivering a ?
lesson . Well , I think the fact that it was so personal . And to really make it personal , I felt like , if I'm going to grab this opportunity , if I don't really use it for something that I can look back in five years and really think , okay , I delivered the message I wanted to . If I couldn't do that , I felt like it was gonna be a waste of my time .
So , I think , being vulnerable and you pushed me and Mark pushed me , coach Mark pushed me and , by the way , I interviewed Mark in an earlier podcast , so he really is a pro but between the two of you and my friends Wendy and Grace , was really good sounding board . So I guess , back to your question is what makes it different is that it's so personal .
Yeah , and because it's so personal , you did have to tap into some emotions and feelings that you normally wouldn't do as a teacher .
No , no , I normally wouldn't do as a teacher ? No , no , I really wouldn't .
I can talk about the history of public relations or how do you do a PR campaign and I'm talking about a process and I'm talking about other things but to really get into sharing information about your family , your history I mean you know my history with I didn't really think I could do some of these challenges .
And then just to kind of push forward and then realize , oh , maybe there was a theme that ran throughout all of these decision points . You know and you helped me point out too that you know those decision points are not easy . They're not easy for anybody .
So to really kind of tell the audience that , hey , you know it's not easy for you guys either , but then when you do these steps and you do take action and you will figure it out and I think we all need to hear that message more- yeah , and you just touched on what it was that you were focusing on .
So tell , tell folks a little bit about what the main message was
¶ The Core Message: Take Action
.
For me , it was about um , create , you know , use , develop a strategy , of course , and the strategy is to reach out to friends , form your own personal advisory board , if you will and I don't get that detailed about that in the talk but when you're faced with challenges and uncertainty , to take action and figure it out along the way . It's that simple .
And sometimes and I said this in the talk sometimes we need permission to do that and I think your friends and your colleagues and , in my case , my daughters and my students will often say well , why don't you do this ? Or why don't you try and do a podcast ? And I thought well , of course , why shouldn't I do that ? So what have I got to lose ?
And if you weigh the options , usually there's not much loss . Maybe a little bit of your pride , maybe , but I think it's a matter and you've had taken risks in your life and you look back and you think I never want any regrets . I never want to look back and think would I have done this ? Why shouldn't , why didn't I do that ?
So I think , to take action and just figure it out and , again , use critical thinking skills , talk to your friends , colleagues , advisors , and then decide to just do it . I think there's so much there that we always think there's going to be a path forward and we don't . We're not going to know the path forward , we just don't .
So we've talked a little bit about this was it was a major step to create the talk Right , but then you have to present it , oh my God . So break that down . And what was required to get you ready to deliver the talk ?
That was the hard part . Number one I didn't tell a lot of people that I was doing it , and that's because Because I really I just didn't know if I was going to be able to do it and or do it well . I really wanted to nail this and do this well , so I didn't tell a lot of people . There was a big event in San Marcos . There was a big .
It was , it was a big deal . It was a big , uh , a big deal on campus and I didn't I didn't promote it personally myself . Now , some of my colleagues did .
But I think it's because when something is very personal and in a way that you're trying to protect maybe yourself , or protect the project , or
¶ Delivering the Talk and Dealing with Nerves
where you think you know , I mean I can understand not wanting to share something where there's a little bit of uncertainty involved .
Well , and I wanted it . I wanted to represent the School of Journalism and Mass Comm very well , I wanted to represent Texas State . So I don't know what I was thinking . If I didn't tell anybody , no one would know it afterwards , but but I just I didn't tell my mom that I was doing this and I just think I wanted to .
Just it was sort of a personal challenge for me . But back to your question about delivering it I was a freaking nervous wreck . I was a nervous wreck and I have a friend who is a professional speaker out in LA and I called her a couple days before she gave me some breathing exercises . I was a nervous wreck when I was young .
I stuttered , I had a stutter and I went through speech therapy some and I talk about this a little bit in the talk but I was really . I was just . I was a nervous wreck , was really , I was just . I was a nervous wreck .
And again , if I were teaching about your history or you or anything in mass comm or media , it would be a different story , but I was talking about my own story . So , and I had notes . You know I had notes that I looked at , but I really tried to memorize as much as I could . So that was another challenge for me . I don't , I don't memorize very well .
So once the big day came and you stood and you delivered the talk , how was that experience Did you ? Did you actually take in the moment , or how'd it go ?
well , you told me to do that , you know you . You told me before uh , you need to really connect with the crowd , the audience , and it was a full , full house . My husband came , jess flew in from la to surprise me , danny came , hannah came from dallas how did this , how'd the word get around ?
you weren't telling . I didn't well , I well .
I told my husband , I told I had to tell Felix , to tell him where to go right on Saturday because I thought if I crumbled I would need him to take me away quickly in the car right and drive me away quickly . So that was something that I was thinking about . But that was something that I was thinking about .
But I think once I did it and again I think you really helped me with that and try and just take it in , look at the audience , connect , slow down and Mark did too . My coach Mark did too .
As soon as I was done I sort of wanted to do it again and slow down just a little bit more , but but I was , I was happy and I'll never do it again and I'm fine with that , okay so .
So , now that you've done it , you've joined the TED talk club . Well , the TEDx , the TEDx , the TEDx Club , yeah , so was it worth it ? And what would you say to others who may be considering a similar
¶ Final Reflections and Advice
undertaking ?
I would really encourage others to do it , to get their message out . And I think that's the whole thing . I mean , as an educator and a former broadcast journalism person , I think we always want to share information and tell people what they need to know and what they ought to know . You know the whole news thing .
I think there's something innate with me that I want to share . My girls say my daughters say I give too much advice , but I think it's an opportunity to really hone your message and get it really tight and really clear and then to have that as a resource there to promote what you want to say to the world .
So for that reason , I think it's , I think it's worth doing . And again , if you do a TEDx connected with the university , they will have professional coaches . I don't know if you're available for personal coaching Sure .
But I think that was something that was really , really helpful for me is having you kind of as a mentor , and I've called you my little muse for a long time , my mentor muse . But I think really to kind of bounce back , having someone in your corner is key , you know .
Well , I'm in your corner , I know you are .
I appreciate that I appreciate that . So , Carol , again I just want to thank you for sharing and taking over the mic a little bit , and I just want you to know how much I appreciated you during this process . I think it was a we didn't cure cancer , we didn't solve , you know , a major we didn't . No , we didn't .
But for me it was very special to have you along for the journey .
Well , you pick interesting projects to work on and I've been privileged and honored that you've asked me to help you on a few of those things , so it's always fun . I never know where we're going next .
That's right . Well , sometimes when we have lunch I bring an agenda , so that's just how it is . But I but I will tell you you were the first call I made after I got back in the dressing room .
Well , I kind of insisted on it . I know , I know , I know I know , I know .
So I just I just wanted to know how you felt about it . You know how did it go . How did ?
You feel , you know what your immediate thoughts were about the the whole thing , the presentation , yeah Well , my hope is that if somebody can see that and realize that they're never going to have all the answers , but they can talk to some of their advisors , their family friends , get some feedback and then take action . They will figure it out along the way .
I also wanted to know that you lived through it . That's true . That was always the question right ?
I wasn't really sure myself . So anyway , Carol , thanks so much . Appreciate it . Carole: You're welcome , appreciate it , thank you .