Why I'll NEVER Say I'm An Alcoholic

. When I was drinking alcohol , I've done it all Blackouts , binging , fighting all these stupid decisions , drink driving . I hate to say it , but I did it . I mean I've done so many stupid things because of alcohol and I don't call myself an alcoholic , right , and I'm going to explain in this video why . I don't call myself an alcoholic .

But I had a massive drinking problem . I'm not denying that , but I don't use this label and I've still managed to successfully stop drinking alcohol for almost seven years .

And today I'm going to explain why I'm making this video from a hotel that I'm at right now and I feel good in this pool and I mean I wanted to show you and I made another video explaining why I'm showing you because my life didn't used to look like this .

Alcohol destroyed my life and you know , society probably would have labeled me an alcoholic , but I don't give myself that label and I want to explain why . So if you do call yourself an alcoholic . By the way , this video might not be for you I don't want to knock that term if you use it and it helps you , but for me it didn't help .

So I wanted to make a quick video in explaining why I don't use that label and what I do instead ,

and what I do instead actually got me to stop drinking and stay stopped and yeah . So this video isn't going to be for everybody , but if you have been debating whether or not you're an alcoholic , if you've been dabbling with that term , if you're unsure , I'm hoping that this video sheds some light on this situation , because it's a pretty taboo topic really .

So when I tried to stop drinking alcohol , when I first tried to stop , I didn't know what to do . I didn't know about first principles thinking . I didn't know I could reframe the way I viewed alcohol . I didn't know anything . So what I did is I asked my mum . I said , mum , how do I stop drinking ?

And my mum had been to Alcoholics Anonymous for over 20 years probably wasn't over 20 years at that point , it might have been , I don't know , 17 , 18 years and I said I need help . And she said well , at this point I didn't live at home . I actually left home at like 17 because of drinking drugs .

And she said if you go to meetings , you can come and live at home again . So I'm like , oh my gosh , I think I was 18 at the time and I started going to meetings . I went to Alcoholics Anonymous , I went to Narcotics Anonymous and I went to these meetings and , uh , and this is where you get .

I was told to make a decision right , am I an addict , am I an alcoholic ? And what I did is I was listening to all these stories and all of these people who had pretty similar stories to me . They they were often a lot worse , but I could find similarities in all of them and I was like , oh right .

So he says you know , my name is Robbie , I'm an alcoholic . My name is Mark , I'm an alcoholic . And then he tells me this story and I'm like , well , yeah , I guess there's similarities between me and him . Okay , he drank first thing in the morning , but he'd have one drink and then he'd drink more . And I'm like , oh well , I guess that was me .

And eventually I was like , okay , well , maybe I'm an alcoholic . And it was a period of my life , around three months where I bought into this right , I truly believed this is what I was . You know , I thought about my mum my mum's an alcoholic . Well , maybe it's genetic .

Then I thought about my family tree , and there's a lot of drinking and drugs in my family tree and I thought , oh , maybe that's what I am , maybe that's what we all are , maybe we're born this way . Oh boy , here we go . This is a journey .

So , you know , after I gave myself this label , you know , it became this identity and I don't want to blame the label for what happened next , but I think it's got something to do with it . I might be wrong , but I took this label for a while .

And then I remember , when I relapsed in my heart I was like , well , I'm this way . And I relapsed and I went nuts . I just binged and binged , and binged , and binged and binged . And listen , might that have happened ? Anyway , it's possible . But now I have this label in my heart , I'm like , well , that's just the way , I am Right .

And it became almost like an excuse , almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy , and to me it was dangerous . Now , I'm not saying that there aren't people out there that have that label . They use a 12 step program . They admit they're an alcoholic , give themselves up to a higher power , they do all the 12 steps and they stay stopped forever .

Are those people there ? Yes , and it works for them and for those people I'm happy . But it didn't work for me and I've told this story before . But I remember , um , at a meeting , there was a guy in an NA meeting . So NA is more for drugs , but there's people that drink alcohol , that go there . And um , at this meeting , he , uh , he was .

I've told this story before . It's really sad , but he was making a coffee and , uh , he put three spoons of coffee in his cup and I'm like dude , I didn't understand it at the time . I was like , why are you doing that ? It's like Leon , I'm an addict , this is what I do , I want to get caffeinated .

And a few years later , a few months later I can't remember , but this guy died from a heroin overdose . He relapsed and took the wrong batch of heroin and then got found dead in the public toilets . And it's a tragic , tragic story . Now , could that have happened if he didn't label himself an addict , of course , but he truly believed he was an addict .

He believed it in his heart . So , oh , a bird just flew past me . But you can see the problem with this label , right , it becomes a little bit dangerous . If you use that label and stop and never drink again , then hey , that's amazing . But you know , if God forbid , somebody relapses . I mean , you can see the danger , right .

So a few more reasons why I don't call myself

an alcoholic . Well , that's the first reason . Is that ? The next reason is that they say that it's a disease , right ? Firstly , they call it a disease with no known cure , which means the only cure is to go to Alcoholics Anonymous . So I just want to be clear that the term alcoholic is only used by Alcoholics Anonymous . It's a made up self-help term .

There's no medical diagnosis . A doctor will never call you an alcoholic anymore . The correct label is alcohol use disorder and it's not semantics , right , it's not just language . This is an important distinction , because if you call yourself an alcoholic , the only way to cure this alcoholism is to go to alcoholics on meetings . It's the only solution , right ?

How else are you going to fix being an alcoholic , especially if it's a disease you've no known cure ? So that was another problem is learning that there was no medical diagnosis . But then , if you actually look at the criteria for being an alcoholic in Alcoholics Anonymous , it's really , really I can't think of the word like broad .

I mean , I went through the questions and I said yes to every single question . I think that most drinkers would go through those questions and could be an alcoholic right . So I noticed that as well . And you know , this idea that I'm the problem means that I can never be fixed . If I'm the problem here , then how do I fix me ? Well , you can't .

You've got to go to meetings . I didn't want to go to these meetings for the rest of my life . You know , I'll tell you , what I wanted to do is I just wanted to freaking , stop drinking and get on with my life . That's what I wanted .

I didn't want to have to go to meetings forever and waste three , four hours of a week going to meetings , having to go to a daily meeting . At the beginning I didn want to do any of that . I wanted to fix my drinking problem and I wanted to get on with my life .

So what happened next is that I stopped going to meetings and then , you know , started trying to find a new solution , and what I found in my research I did something called first principles thinking . I spent a lot of time reading . I read every stop drinking book .

I could find podcasts , you know , listening to other people on the matter and eventually I got to a place where I stopped seeing myself as the problem . I started seeing the drug as the problem and as long as I didn't drink , the problems went away .

I didn't need to give myself up to God , I didn't need to make amendments to people , I didn't need to do any of that stuff . What I had to do was change the way that I view alcohol . And once I I know it sounds crazy , but then you know , once I stopped drinking alcohol , within the first month or so I actually was fully self-employed again .

I started my personal training business . It went really

well and it's been almost seven years . You know I still go out to bars . I'm still around people that drink Less now than I did at the beginning because , you know , basically a lot of my friends just don't drink now I've just attracted those people into my life . But I did a lot of the things that AA said I shouldn't do .

I didn't go to any meetings , I didn't have a sponsor , I didn't do any step work , I didn't do any spiritual work in that aspect . And , yeah , I stopped drinking and I don't drink anymore . And a lot of people will listen to this . They go to AA and think , oh no , no , no , aa is free , you should do it this way , you should do it that way .

Aa saved my life . It works if you work it . And there's all this stuff and I'm thinking that's binary thinking . I'm not saying that you can't get sober in AA . Of course you can . And if that's what you're doing and you're happy and you're sober , more power to you like there's . No , I mean , that is awesome . It saved my mom's life .

You know , I would tell my mom don't watch this video , because I don't want , I don't want to , I don't want to like , knock her . But there are other ways to do it . Right , there are other ways to do it and the way that I did it worked for me and it might not work for everybody . I'm not saying that , but I don't call myself an alcoholic .

I haven't drank for seven years . I have no intention to drink , I have no desire to drink and it's been fine . And I'll just tell you one last thing . When I walked out of my final meeting , a guy chased me out there . I'm actually quite like this guy , but then he turned on me .

He was like he swore he went if you fucking go back out there , you've got a disease , you're going to die . I was like jeez and I'll never forget it . It was quite shocking , but it wasn't true . It's just , it wasn't true . I've not died ,

I've thrived . Thanks for checking out the Stop Drinking podcast by Sober Clear . If you want to learn more about how we work with people to help them stop drinking effortlessly , then make sure to visit wwwsoberclearcom .