¶ Overcoming Alcohol, Building a Better Future
Welcome to the Stop Drinking podcast , where we help you make stopping drinking a simple , logical and easy decision . We help you with tips , tools and strategies to start living your best life when alcohol free . If you want to learn more about stop drinking coaching , then head over to wwwsoberclearcom .
Ladies and gentlemen , today we have got Nicholas joining us from Stamford , connecticut in the United States . Nicholas is a Corporate Communications Executive in the pharmaceutical industry .
He joined the program in around February , so he's been about eight months now he's been in the program and he's kindly agreed today to come and share his story to inspire some of you guys to keep on his journey . So welcome , nicholas , and thanks so much for coming on the channel today . Thank you for having me , Leon .
So one first question , nicholas , is how long have you not drunk for now ?
About eight months since joining the program earlier this year , and that's the longest I've ever gone .
That's awesome man . So let's go back to before you joined the program . So what was life like before you got started with the program ?
I would say I've never you know we don't like the term alcoholic right but I would say I was a functional drinker , meaning that it was never a detrimental thing to my career . I was able to hold jobs and have successful six-figure income , a good marriage relationship , you know , healthy friendships , healthy social life , etc .
It was more that it was an undermining force in my life , so it was disrupting my sleep , it was my concentration , it was making me gain weight , it was causing things like acid reflux when I would have red wine . It was just kind of like and it was kind of , I think , maybe keeping me in a certain zone .
It was maybe kind of sapping my ambition or my creativity , my ability to sort of you know , think bigger picture and push myself , and so I became interested in so that was my life before . I wouldn't say it was a thing where I was , you know a wreck or a mess or you know on the street , any of that , but it was an undermining force .
Yeah , I love it . So there were like three big words that came up you use some nice language the undermining force . It was zapping your ambition and it was holding you from thinking bigger picture , and so the view is really just holding you back .
Yes , exactly . So I became interested in getting off of the booze and at the time I was working at a company where I had a long commute a couple of times a week . So I did an audio book in my car called Quit Drinking by Alan Carr Quit Drinking Without Willpower .
By Alan Carr , which I would encourage anyone to read , as someone who is a professional communicator , it was one of the most persuasive books I've ever read in terms of making a case or something in this case , the case to Not Drinking and case for Not Drinking Rather .
And it was so persuasive that after one reading of it in my car audio book , I stopped for about six months that this was last year , in 2022 . But then the and I was fine felt great , wasn't it ? And I ironically quit in the summertime , which is my most social time of year . Right , that's typically when I drink the most .
It's because I'm entertaining a lot and going to other people's social functions and so on . But then the holidays hit and I just kind of went back . I regressed .
I had a drink at a wedding I went to in late November , felt fine the next day , and then the celebratory mood of the holidays and the general excess of the season eating and having a lot of sweets and cakes and drinking and it just kind of came up on me and I kind of slipped back into my old patterns .
And so it was after that , in January of the new year of this year , that I started looking at Superclear . I've been watching your videos for a while on YouTube . They were also very persuasive , and so that's when I sort of started to make a more conscientious investment in my health , beyond just buying a book .
So you became interested in like getting off the booze . You had this long commute , you better stop drinking bug . Super helpful for about six months and then you just reached a point where you know the thoughts came back . You drank at the wedding and then slowly just started going back . Very typical story .
You know , I hear this 70 , 80% of people in the program . Very similar experience . They've read a book , they'll stop and then something will happen that just kind of gets them off the rails . So then , yeah , then you found the videos and then what ?
The difference , I would say , is that , after having read the book , I was informed enough to know why I was drinking , whereas I didn't really know that before I understood that I was still attaching on some level , even if intellectually I knew that it was bad for me . On some deep seated level I was still attaching a positive value to alcohol consumption .
So that made me , you know , more interested in something more holistic , beyond just a book that I could invest in . And what attracted me to so book here was that it's it has some of the positive attributes about AA , but none of the negative , right ? So I have an uncle who joined AA .
He was a very bad , you know , drinker , drug addict , had very serious problems , joined AA many years ago and was very successful in the program , was sober for decades , right ? So it worked for some people . I acknowledged that . But I felt like it wasn't for me .
I didn't like the negative labeling that you have to do and I felt that for many people it's sort of a substitute for other addictions or what have you . There's just something I didn't like the quasi religious nature of it . But I did , like you know , I do like the sense of community and I feel like that's kind of what you get out of sober clear .
I like that . You have other people that you can talk to about this kind of thing , but it's not in a preachy way . I think . That's where it's the same principles as the book that I read but , unlike the book , where it's just , it focuses on getting over the hump and then you're done with it , so we're clear also focuses on the what next .
Okay , so you've gotten past this thing of the consumption . What do you do after that ? You know where does your life go ? And it focuses on the positive and the next steps in your life and optimizing your life and you have a sense of community and people that you can talk to , but without labeling yourself in a negative way . Right , and so that's .
That's what I would say is the differentiator between that and the book , whether it's Alan Kars or any any other book , which again , I recommend those books but I would say you get more out of it in terms of the sense of community and having people to talk to and I have found that very valuable in my journey .
Yeah , nice , Perfect . So you made this point of how we focus on building a better future . So how has that looked for you Like over the past eight months ? What changes have you seen personally ?
I would say some of my health problems just magically went away . So I mentioned I was having trouble sleeping . I had a pretty , I would say significant , sleep apnea problem . This went away without any sort of medical treatment , ditto with the acid reflux , it just stopped . Occasionally I might have a little bit of something related to something .
I might if I have a lot of fried food or something . It might sort of a little bit , but basically the drinking was the reason I was having it or the major aggravator of it .
I sleep much better , my concentration is much , much better , my energy level is better and I would say that I can think in a big picture way much more clear than I could before and I see that my career in particular .
I would say that there is some calmness that's come to my relationships with my partner Again , not that we were having problems before , but I would say it's better now .
¶ Transition to Sobriety and Entrepreneurship
And my career and my dreams about running my own business and so forth and certain big picture goals are now starting to transpire and I think that they probably would not have transpired had I not gotten into this way of thinking and this initiative and this program .
I left a six-figure position to start my own business and consulting and being self-employed , and I'm also looking to other business opportunities to have multiple revenue streams . This is something I've dreamed about doing for years and it's a transformative part of my life and I think it's directly related to better health .
Yeah , man , this is awesome and I think you made a really good point .
You said you're able now to think in a bigger picture and I think what happens is , when we have had a problem of drinking for many years and we know it's a problem that we want to solve , we'll be put it off and put it off , and put it off and put it off , and eventually we say , now you know what I'm solving this problem .
And then when it finally clicks and you know that you're not going to drink anymore , it gives you permission to make bigger dreams , because you start having the self-confidence that when you say you're going to do something , you actually follow through with it . So if you say you know what ? No , I am starting that business , I am going to do it .
Well , I'm going to have got a track record now of not drinking alcohol . I've said that I'm going to do something and it's working and it's like well , hang on , why can't I go and start the business ? Why can't I go and do that next big thing I've always wanted to do and you've done it . What a great example .
Yeah , it's kind of a serendipity , I just sort of , you know , came across your videos , started watching them . That led me to the book that led me to my first experience , you know , the Allen Carbook . That led me to my first experience last year , where I got a little taste of it and made me much more aware .
And then , you know , circling back to your program and taking a harder look at it and deciding let me , you know , let me invest in this for my health , and I think that it's been , you know , really beneficial .
And , yeah , it's given me the courage to step out of my comfort zone in more ways than one in terms of my career and business , and take chances that I probably wouldn't have taken before . And I won't say there are times when I might still think about it , you know what I mean .
But I would say I'm in a much better place now , a much healthier place physically and psychologically , mentally , emotionally . There's not that undermining thing there anymore .
And I've even had a positive takeaway from the sense that if alcohol can be marketed to make so many people believe that it's this really positive thing , when we know that it's not , then I sure as hell can market what I have to sell , which is actually the things that I want to do books and things like that , magazines and my consulting service and art and
things that are actually positive . So it's all just a question of how you market , and so I guess one silver lining is that if that industry can be so successful in marketing something so negative that anything's possible , so I know , that's a weird observation , but it's been a very educational ride .
And I've also connected with some really interesting people in the program , people that you wouldn't think you have anything in common with at first blush . All different kinds of fields , parts of the country , parts of the world , even Some people with children , some not some with their own businesses , some who worked in corporate roles or what have you .
Many times people like myself who were successful on the surface of it .
They might have a good marriage or good income , et cetera , but there was this big problem that was just getting in their way and just holding them back , and so now they've gotten past a substantial barrier , but they have people to talk through it with and relate their day to day experiences .
Some people are really doing serious repair work with their families and things like that , but it's good to have a feeling that you can help other people too and talk to other people as they are helping me .
Yeah , nice . So after that relapse , after your first six months , can you remember the turning point where you were like now do you know what ? I need to do something different , I need to invest in myself . Whatever it was , do you remember the point where you were just like enough is enough ?
Yeah , I would say , you know , I just woke up feeling lousy physically and , you know , a serious hangover is just like you know . Of course , it's certainly not the first time it's happened .
But you know , years ago I would say , oh God , I really have to get this under control or just not do that again , that I would just go right back to , you know , the same old thing , whereas this time I had much more awareness that , okay , I had started to sort of turn certain things around in my life and sort of reintroduce certain things that I put on
hold for a long time and I was getting a taste of what it was like to be back in those things .
¶ Overcoming Alcohol Addiction and Finding Authenticity
And then , after the holidays , I just felt that crash and I just realized that I didn't want this to get in my way anymore , this problem to get in my way anymore . So it was time to get serious about this .
I would say , you know , the monetary investment was a piece too , you know you're putting your money where your mouth is and treating this more strategically . And you know , I just don't want this to be a problem in my life anymore .
You know it was , it was sometime after the holidays , it was after it was in Lexington early January and I just thought , oh , you know , there's just got to be a better way , you know . But now I have the some education and some foresight into you know , and some maturity around the topic , to know that I don't need this .
Yeah , I think for you , you know , you're very , you're very self motivated . I'd say you were , you were 90% of the way there on your own , and it was just that final 10% to actually , you know , just put the nail in the coffin and just move on .
Exactly . And again I would say the differentiator is the emphasis that's , you know , over a book , is that this program gives you a way forward . It kind of helps you look at what is the next step , what do I do with myself now ? And that sense of community that you can , you can talk to people you know .
So I would say that's , that's the hell and it is helpful . I would say that's the differentiator , you know , but it's not like a you know , it's like I said , it takes all the some of the pros from that , but none of the cons .
Yeah , love it , man , you're crushing . How is your social life been since stopping drinking ?
By the way , I love the example that you've given the program about little kids at a birthday party . Do they need scotch to have a good time ? Obviously not . I've thought of that often . I would say that my social life is just as robust as it was before . In the summertime I still like to entertain and do things .
There have been times when I felt a little tug or a little challenge . I have the awareness to know that if I'm attaching a false positive or a false value to this , to see through it , there have been times when I've thought of it . I had some friends who questioned or pushed back or laughed at it . I would say for the most part people were supportive .
I would say that the alcohol industry is still super pervasive and it's around us all the time . My social life is just as robust as it ever was , which just proves that you don't really need this . You can continue . My relationships are great . You do embrace your more authentic self .
I think one attraction of the blues was that it helped me be the life of the party type of guy . I've learned that I can still do that if I want to , but it has made me more introspective . I would say it's brought out a certain authenticity . You learn more about yourself with the clear head . You can understand yourself better without it .
You just reminded me of something that my friend once said when he used to drink . He drank to become extroverted , to be the life and soul of the party . I'm not saying that this is what you were doing , but I could relate to what this guy said . He said he drank to be extroverted .
Then he realized I'm trying to impress a bunch of people and be the life and soul of the party people I don't really like . Then he said when he stopped drinking he realized that wasn't ever who I was . He's actually a very introverted person that likes staying at home . He would still go out and socialize , but he never was that person .
He was almost like just pretending to be somebody that he wasn't . It was like when he stopped he was just like I don't need to pretend anymore , I could just be me .
Yeah . Yeah , that's a beautiful thing . I would say I'm maybe a hybrid of that . I'm more introverted than I realized before . I still like socializing , but I also like being at home in quiet time and time for concentration .
I think that some of my dreams around making art and writing and so forth can actually they feel much more tangible now than they did before . Yeah , you do find your real self pretty quickly with a clearer head 100% , 100% .
Seriously , if you've got something ridiculous that's really on the fence , they're like they think they're going to book a call , they think they're going to join a program , but there's something that's stopping them . What's one piece of advice they need to give to them to push them over the edge ?
I would say that by doing it , you're not alone , that you will find a group of supportive people . You'll find a lot of like-minded people . Think of it as an investment in your health , even putting aside the productivity things . Maybe it's not even a career business matter . It's more just about your health and investment in yourself .
¶ Joining Stop Drinking Program - Benefits
If you're willing to join a gym or get Botox or whatever these things , this is just as important , or more so , that you will be surprised at what is possible by doing these exercises , joining the program , joining the groups and the discussions . It's really , really beneficial that there's a whole world out there waiting for you .
All you have to do is just get the process rolling and a lot of it will take care of itself . You do have to , I would say you do have to want it . The program provides a lot of benefits and so forth , but on some level you've got to want it . It's like completing anything else .
You have to be at a point where you want it , because other people can't talk you out of it per se . They can give you arguments and rational reasons why , but on some level it's got to be within you , I would say , if you're looking into it and you're curious on some level , you know this is what you need .
Just take the first step and just go from there and you'll be rewarded ultimately , I would say , beyond what you can imagine right now .
Thanks for checking out the Stop Drinking podcast by SoberClear . If you want to learn more about how we work with people to help them stop drinking effortlessly , then make sure to visit wwwsoberclearcom .