¶ Overcoming Alcohol Dependency and Improving Wellbeing
Welcome to the Stop Drinking podcast , where we help you make stopping drinking a simple , logical and easy decision . We help you with tips , tools and strategies to start living your best life when alcohol free . If you want to learn more about stop drinking coaching , then head over to wwwsoberclearcom . Okay so , ladies and gentlemen , welcome back to the channel .
We've got Wilson joining us today . So Wilson is joining us from Charlotte in North Carolina . He does business development . He joined a program in January of this year , so it's been like 10 months now and he's coming today to share his journey . So welcome , wilson . Good to have you here .
Yeah , thanks , leon . Thanks for the invitation .
And just quickly , how old are you ?
I'm 25 right now .
I love it Like one of the one of the youngest guys in the program . I think there's only three others that are like mid-20s , so it's beautiful to see , so let's do this . So , yeah , first , wilson , so before you join the program , describe what life was like .
Yeah , so I had graduated college , I moved to Charlotte , was working in sales and you know I was doing what most people my age do , especially right out of college .
You know they worked during the week and then some weeknights I was going to get drinks and then pretty much I was , I wouldn't say living for the weekend , but when I was going out it was always on the weekend nights , so Friday and Saturday , and then you know , I'd be hung over Sunday , probably get the day started around like 12 or one on Sundays , and
then I might have a drink that day too to make me feel better . But yeah , it was just go , go , go , go go . And I was , you know , doing other activities . But especially my city it's like big on drinking .
We have breweries everywhere , right , so that's kind of the thing to do is to go meet your friends at a brewery , watch a game , have beer , have shots , that kind of thing .
So for you it was after college . You started ramping up and then you'd hit it hard at the weekends and then , just you know , almost ruined the weekend .
Yeah , I mean my hangovers were pretty bad . They would last Sunday , monday and kind of feed into Tuesday sometimes .
So for you it was never a daily thing . It was smashing it for the weekends .
Yeah , yeah , I wouldn't really normally drink on the weekdays unless I was invited out somewhere , but I didn't really like drink in my apartment or anything , it was just always at bars .
Mm , hmm , so so obviously the hangovers were bad . How else did the drinking impact different areas of your life ?
Yeah , so I was . You know I was drinking a lot , a Lot of . You know I did blackout a good number of times Just with how much I was drinking . I wasn't a big beer guy , so it was definitely like tequila , vodka , everyone's in a wild have a bourbon , um . But I was one of those people that just always drinks whatever's in their hands .
So you know , I could go through it . I was blacking out and then the hangovers real will really affect me , right , because , like I had no momentum Growing as a person . That was a huge thing for me . I just didn't feel like I was growing because I was feeling ill , you know , sunday , monday , tuesdays and then Wednesday .
So I wasn't working out , I wasn't , you know , cooking myself clean meals , I wasn't getting a lot of things done that I wanted to do professionally . I kind of felt like at that time my work had actually slipped just from feeling ill , from the hangovers and Just drinking so much .
So , yeah , lifestyle suffered a good bit and it was really just from drinking , you know , three to four hours on Friday , three to four hours on Saturday . It was . It was just a huge sacrifice I was making to do that .
Yeah , you just said something that just got me nodding , and you were saying that you weren't growing as a person because you'd never have momentum , because you'd make progress , and then it all disappeared at the weekend .
Yeah , exactly .
So what did you done before you joined a program Wilson , like , what did you try to do to stop drinking before ?
So I wasn't part of like a or anything like that because I didn't feel like I was addicted to alcohol . For me it was more so like being in certain settings made me feel like I should drink , like being at a bar or club or say , if I were at a bar , there's a ton of people in this claustrophobic thing I would really want to drink .
So when I started noticing these issues , you know , I tried Only trying drinking beer or only drinking like white claws , like seltzers , thinking like that would make a difference . And honestly , there's just made me gain some weight , didn't love that and I kind of found us myself back in a drinking liquor Like
¶ Overcoming Alcohol Addiction and Transforming Lives
. So I went through small periods of time where I would tell my friends like everyone does , I'm not gonna drink anymore or hey , I'm gonna take a time off .
But I was still going to doing the same thing , so still going to bars or meeting friends to watch games or something , and it was just so easy to go just buy a beer or a cocktail and I wasn't like really committing to it . So you know , I told family and friends very supportive , no one was like against me not drinking , but it was like me myself .
I had the issue with where I would maybe last like a week or two and then maybe I wasn't feeling great that night , so it was like a drink would help . Or , you know , some other situation would come up where I would be like , alright , let me just have a drink , this will calm me down .
So it was really just on myself , I was just doing things myself , and that wasn't . That wasn't working .
Yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah . Our stories are very similar in that that you know you'd tell people you'd make these big promises and then a week would pass and the willpower runs out and then back to square one , so yeah . So was there a tipping point where you just said Enough is enough ?
Was that like a really dark moment or a day where you were just like nah , can't keep doing this ?
Yeah , there was , there was a few , they're definitely a few . I had put myself at risk quite a few times just being blackout , wandering places , amazed that I got home with my phone key and wallet and Just how ill I was getting . You know , sometimes when I was home over I wasn't wanting to eat either because I was feeling sick .
So I was losing a lot of weight . But I think the main turning point for me was actually when I was at home with my family for Christmas . I just I was out with friends , drank really hard one night and then woke up the next day and I was just like what am I doing right now ?
Like I'm just kind of wasting away life , because it was like I was really living for two or three days of the week and the other four days were like me recovering . And you know , even my parents had mentioned something to me .
It was at that point I was like this is so bad that like if I keep going down this route I'm not gonna grow at all in like the next five years , maybe the next , for the rest of my life . You know I'm gonna be sick all the time . And like for what ? Just cause I can't say no when I'm in like a social setting , to drinking .
So it was a culmination . I think it was like hell , where I saw myself in the future . You know the concerns of my parents , so yeah .
Yeah , gotcha man . So then , what was it that made you decide to join the sober clear program ?
Mm-hmm , I think for me , I found you on YouTube and this is when I was kind of going through a dark time with the drinking and I really liked your approach to it . I liked how it wasn't so much like things I'd heard in the past . This was more of like a like you had said before , like a first principles thinking . It's really coming from the place of .
This is what alcohol truly is . This is how it's affecting your life and you know it's like you don't really need that in your life at all . It's more of kind of like a social conditioning thing . So I heard of you through YouTube .
We had a chat or two and then I wanted to get coached on it , cause I tried doing it myself , you know , probably like five or six times and I was young and I was like I just want this handled .
So you know , going through your program and then the people I speak with in the sports system , it was like it was well worth it for like changing my life and I'm saving money every month by not buying booze . You know I was spending so much money on that .
Nice . So how was it different then doing it with the program versus when you did it on your own ?
Yeah , I think accounting building was a huge thing . So I obviously like invested money into the program . So that was a big reason where I was like I want this to work . And it was great because you know , we're somewhat similar .
We've talked about , like our past drinking and I was like , well , if he can do it , I can do it , kind of mentality and just going through the program , like having those videos and being actually able to have a community to talk to people about this . That's what made the difference for me versus like doing it on my own .
It was just me being self-reliant , me trying to go out every Friday , saturday , whatever , and just trying to like use willpower . Essentially , I was trying to use willpower versus now it's just like I'm not a drinker , like it's just pretty flat and simple .
Love it , man , love that . And you made a great point earlier . You were saying that previous attempts that you tried to stop you would tell friends like I'm not gonna drink . But you said a key word you were never truly committed . And I think what happened is that when you decided to get started , you were ready to do it , you were ready to commit .
Yeah , it was a bit of a shift there 100% . So how does life look now Like ? What changes have you experienced as a result of not drinking ?
Yeah , first I would say sleep quality . Sleep is a huge thing for me . I've got to get eight hours , otherwise I'm sort of worthless throughout the day . I'm just not functioning at a high level . So sleep was huge because obviously with drinking you get the hangovers . You don't sleep as well , that sort of thing .
You know I can be like sometimes anxious or stressed out .
Sometimes , like a lot of people , that anxiety has dropped so much I can't even explain , like I can't even begin to tell you , because when I was drinking , like I thought it was helping , but then like the next day that the anxiety and then the idea of because I drink , I'm not really like doing things with my life , that was a big anxiety thing for me .
You know eating and you know meals . I'm cooking more for myself and eating cleaner financially . You know I could have been spending anywhere from $150 to $200 a week on just drinking because I liked cocktails and not beers and that was more expensive . So that's another thing .
And then I would say help and just kind of like your mindset , because now I feel like I have the time to work out .
It clears my head and yeah , it's just , it's all around , just improved my life so much and yeah , it really sounds like I think the key word for you is your back in control of your life , like you're in the driving seat again .
Yeah , yeah , absolutely . I feel like when I was drinking , it could be said that I was like the passenger and the person that was driving the car was driving it recklessly and it was kind of like I was always tense about how they were driving , versus now I'm like the one driving .
Love it . So so a question . I don't I've never really asked anybody , but I'm curious because you're , because you're younger how have you found it socializing with alcohol ?
Yeah , so that was , that was like my first big hurdle , because the city I live in that's a big thing to do . We have so many breweries , so many bars . We do some pretty good restaurants and a lot of sport outings and whatnot .
So you know , my thing now is I still go out pretty much as as much as I used to , and it's something you got to get used to right , like , your first few times going out you're gonna be like kind of uncomfortable because you might just be like conditioned .
You might have conditioned yourself just to when you go out you drink , and when you don't have that drink you might feel like a little nervous or like you know , a little stress maybe . But now , yeah , like I still go out with friends . I just , you know , I kind of just drink soda waters .
I have a Red Bull that kind of jacked me up , give me some energy if I want . But yeah , I still go out to bars , a club occasionally , and I get a . I just go to sports outings and get a . Like we have an NFL team here , I got their games and I don't . I don't drink , and you know it's funny .
I kind of part going into this like my friends were gonna get give me grief about it , but they've been so supportive and they haven't like ever like really pushed it on me at all . One thing I will say , though I have had one friend try and push it on me , because he was pushing on me and maybe one less , if that makes sense .
You know , like when someone's like being like , hey , I want you to do this , I want you to do this , it was kind of like yeah . I don't want it . I want it even less now .
So and how . So that that's a great answer , because I think a lot of people are worried about can they go to bars , can they go to restaurants , can they do these things , and you're just living life as normal , which is great . How did you handle that friend ?
yeah , I was just like hey , like look I'm . You know I'm not drinking , I'm just not interested in it , doesn't really do anything for me . I something . I'm sorry telling people when they're like .
You know you don't really get this often , but when you do , if someone's like oh , why aren't you drinking , I just tell my suck at it like it's just plain and simple I'm not gonna drink him . That's . That's why I don't do it yeah , this is a good answer .
So , for full transparency , you did have one slip up , so , and I think it's good that we talk about it . What , when that happened , what do you think went wrong and how did you get back on track ?
Yeah , um . So yeah , that slip-up happened when I was traveling for work . You know , I was by myself for like a week and I went to a restaurant I someone's recommendation in the hotel , and it could not have been like a worse scenario . It was a very like dark setting , very .
It was kind of like a sailors bar , I would say , because it was like in a harbor and I just mentally wasn't like in a great place that day and For some reason , you know , with everyone drinking around me , I kind of was just like screw it , like let me just have some , some tequila , like . So I got a shot of tequila . I was like , oh , that'll be it .
Nope , it never is , it's never just the one drink
¶ Reflections on Alcoholism and Recovery
. So I ended up drinking a lot that night and then the next day , soft of course , and I felt I felt bad about it . I was like , hey , I like put in all this work and all of a sudden , like I just , you know I had to slip up . But you know I talked to people in our community about it and they're like , look , don't look at it that way .
Like think about all the progress you made and you're getting back on track right now , like we're having this conversation and you know , after that slip up it was , it may happen .
I mean , it's just kind of one of those things where you realize like , hey , like I've been doing so well , let me just like try it out out of curiosity , which I wouldn't recommend . But that's what I did . And and afterwards I was like , oh , this is like why I don't do it . So it just kind of reaffirmed everything for me .
So I was , you know , I was down on myself for a few days because it happened , but I got over it .
Yeah , it's , it's , you know it's . Obviously you don't recommend doing it , but I think that sometimes you're not the first person in the program to do this , but they'll go through the program , they'll have the mindset shift , a bit of time will pass and then they'll drink again , and then it's almost like that final , final drink is where they just go .
Nah , there really is nothing for for me in this . So you did well , man . You got back on track fast and would have been so easy to just let it slide and disappear and we never hear from you again . But you know really respect that you just just said nah , I'm getting back on track .
Yeah , appreciate that .
Yeah , and it actually happened with with Brad , who's a similar age to you as well , did the exact same thing . He didn't drink for . He didn't drink for six months . He drank again and then , I think , in he was about two years sober .
So we did the same thing and then , yeah , two and a half years in a program Six months not drinking , one week drinking , two years not drinking . But last last , oh , go ahead , sorry .
No , I'm just gonna say , like I would say , especially going through this , like I Would say do be self-aware . Like be self-aware , like you're really not in a good state of mind and you go out so like , say , like a bar or something , you just kind of by yourself , that's not , like it's not a great place to put yourself . So like be aware .
Like , if you're not feeling great , like maybe instead of doing that , like go take a walk or something or work out or Do anything like go see a movie , versus like , like you know , putting yourself in a bad situation to begin with , because that's what I , yeah , but yeah , it's be self-aware .
Yeah , you , just , you just give me a flashback . I Well , when it was about 19 , I was living in this place called blackpool , so it's in the north of England and it's a pretty run-down place it's like Party city , right and I remember I was about 19 .
As I write I'm gonna stop drinking and I went into like the busiest nightclub without alcohol , the most stressful place you could imagine , right , just absolute chaos when you walk inside . I think I lasted five minutes , you see you , what you said is spot-on , like putting yourself in those environments where you're not in there , not feeling a hundred percent .
It's yeah smart . I .
Will say the flip side of it . It's like you're doing well and you put yourself in your that kind of environment .
It is kind of like interesting to see Because , I mean , you're just gonna feel so proud of yourself and you're also noticing , like how , how the night starts and how the night started to end , like how people are just like you know , not making sense . It's just it's just so interesting to watch .
Mm-hmm , so so , what's so ? So imagine that there's somebody that they've been thinking about joining the program . They're kind of on the fence , they're humming their ring . Should they do it , should they not ? What's one piece of advice that you'd give to them , wilson ?
It's a good advice I would . I would just say , like , if you're on the fence about something like this , like ask yourself you know where you see yourself in the next year to five years . Like If you've tried a bunch of other things and you haven't been able to get it handled , like what , what is gonna change and the next years of you doing it .
Like I I'm not like ashamed to say it like I I Kind of needed help with this , like I needed a coach , someone to hold me accountable . And I Kind of came to the realization , like when I was deciding to join the program I was like , if I keep going down this path , like nothing's gonna change in the next five years .
So yeah , I mean I would just ask yourself that question and think about like what it is you really want with your life , because you know I consume myself
¶ Respecting the Decision to Quit Drinking
. Like I have some friends that have been thinking about quitting drinking , but it's like for them it's not like a big deal , but you know , for me it was . So it's like this is something you really want and like you're going to program , you're gonna commit to that . I mean you might have a slip up , but you're gonna commit to it .
So Love it , man , and , and just to finish off , I just want to say I got so much respect for you for doing this . Young you know you did it , use your own money , you invested in yourself and I got it .
I got so much respect for you and it's so awesome to see you grow and I just just love what you're doing , and by the way , that money I spent on the program , on your program I don't know where it's at now , but , like the money I haven't spent on drinking alcohol , like we're getting close to To break even right now , you know so well , over the next ,
over the next 40 years , man , it's gonna be 40x . Yeah .
Thanks for checking out the stop drinking podcast by sober clear . If you want to learn more about how we work with people to help them stop drinking effortlessly , then make sure to visit dubbidubbidubbidot soberclearcom .