Melrose Minute: The Friend Zone?

Still the Place with Laura Layton, Courtney Thorn Smith.

And Daphnew's aiga an iHeartRadio podcast.

Well we're back for a Melroe's Minutes.

Hi, guys.

A couple of things came up on that last episode that made us really think.

Yeah, Well it was the getting together of Billy and Allison, who've been living together as roommates platonically. They've each like seen each other have different dates and different relationships.

Yeah, Allison says, you know, I've watched you to clip your toenails how many times?

Going from friends to romantic.

Well, now they've made it. They've had a number of discussions about moving their relationship.

They have different plans, but they want to so they've acknowledged that attraction.

They're going to go for it.

So we were thinking, have I asked you guys, and I'm curious of if people out there, how often how common is that to be friends with somebody first for a lot?

Well, we were also overlapping that with keeping the spark alive that Michael sort of loses interest. So two things like, you've have a friend the two couples on our shows and to romance, how do you keep that exciting? And new because your friends, you've lived together, how do you get excited about someone?

Yeah, so let's start with the first one, because that's really interesting to me about the billion Allison, Let's start with that, Like, how if you guys are friends and you're used to being in a room and being together, is there always like a crush? Was there a spark before that you just didn't answer and then suddenly you're gonna go with the spark.

I think it's so funny that, like when we were talking about this away from the podcast, and I think Daphne you said you'd never like dated a friend or like you never started out as friends and then had some of you, which I think I think is sort of interesting because Courtney and I both Yeah, I think we've done that, had that experience, but it also experienced a lot.

So I just want to know, like how you care.

That's because you're both my friends, So watch your back's billion Alison?

Or are we could make a plan and discuss it ahead of time? Should we take our relationship to the next level?

Was it awkward for you guys?

Maybe tomorrow night flipping toenails and then all of a sudden you have to.

Make out with them was that what we know? What is weird about it?

And it's fun to think about because I was thinking about it with you know, Billy and Allison. And it's true because especially if you're a good friends and you've spent a lot of time like sitting on the couch talking and you hang out with friends, that all of a sudden you're sitting on the couch and it's like are we holding hands now?

Are we making out?

Now?

Like you're into that.

It's almost like you get to that space in a romantic relationship where you're through the initial like we can't keep our hands off each other, and then you're sitting on the couch watching TV.

But you go from sitting on the couch watching TV.

Too like making out every Yeah, so what is that like for your experiences?

So I've sort of fall into the camp lake, you know how there's that question like when Harry met Sally, can can men and women just be friends? You know that that question? I think that's sort of where it lands for me, is that I think if you have a really great friendship, or in my experience, had great friendship with the guy that he clearly wanted to be more like more in the relationship and it wasn't Yeah,

So and for me it ended up and then you couldn't stay friends.

Yeah, it changed everything. Yeah, I was like, oh bummer.

But did you feel like he was saying I want more and it's more or nothing?

Yeah, I don't think it was that. It was just changing the nature of our relationship and try and deliberately like sort of changing it and trying to see, hey, is this more ruined the first version of our relationship, Like it just changed it forever. It just wasn't the same.

That's the first thing you that marks a difference, right, you act on that holding, you kiss them, you guys kiss.

Each other, right then all of a sudden and just.

Like okay, that's different now, And like, I don't know.

To me, I don't understand about it is I have such definite feelings for somebody or I don't. Like it's just so organic and it's so like I have an attraction or I don't. So I don't understand the I love this guy and I have an attraction as a friend, and then I guess it can grow out of that. I mean, I've been with somebody for eighteen years now, so there's been a whole you know, scope of feelings and attractions and relating to each other. But I guess

That's why I'm curious. When it's happened.

For me, it's that you have a guy friend and you end up spending a lot of time together and spending so much time together and you call each other a lot, and they're your first call in the morning and your last call at night, and you start to think.

Well, this is silly.

Yeah, why do I want to go on a date with someone with whom I don't have much in common when this person's my best friend. Now, having said that, you are right, Daphne in that there is such a thing as chemistry, and I've had the experience of even if the chemistry builds, like you start to think or start to talk about it, that it doesn't actually work.

It's brutal and.

Maybe that's what you're talking Aboutlaura.

Like, yes, really, and it just changes the friendship.

Well, one persons so excited and you're like, can we get to the point in a relationship where we're just sitting on the couch a yet it's like it can be really uncomfortable so it's a real risk, like you can really risk a friendship, but for me, to the point where you're spending all your time with them, so

Yeah, I think that's why I've never been friends like that close of a friends with a guy, because I I have always hung out with really followed that attraction and then it happens so fast. So I've never even before, even when I was young, I never had like a best buddy that was a guy. It always was like a situation or and then oh he asked me out, or he didn't, you know what I mean, Like, I've never I didn't have brothers growing up. I have one

A buddy buddy situation. I didn't don't don't even know how to do that. They were like a foreign alien to me, and I was like, I want to know what that is, you know, And so I had to move them in and we started so we.

You know. So then I had to learn how to be friends. In fact, in the beginning, I remember one of my earlier boyfriends was like, you can't break up with me every time we have a fight, and I'm like, why not? Get the hell And so I had to learn I'm not even joking, like, oh, there's all this other area to relate to the other person. So my friendship comes later. Yeah, it has always come later, and

I have a lot of guy friends, or even in my youth, you know, I guess that just was a thing.

It is a thing, but it often comes up right like it does.

I have had that.

Ruin.

I only have one close male friend where it never became more or different, and that's the friendship that survived. Yeah, yeah, and we were just sort of saved by circumstance, meaning we would be dating other people, and so the friendship matured through the attraction phase and just became we're friends forever. We sort of missed over it, but I got to tell you now that we're talking about, like it actually

Yeah, that was a young woman's game.

Once you do move in with someone, which you seem to do right away, I do right away, immediate.

For Daphne on the sewing gate, right away, and you know what this.

Means to you.

And by the way, like we're together eighteen years later, and that was.

A good first day.

But I do remember when we first moved in, and I've lived.

With other men too, and I was just like, oh my god, it's they're totally different, you know, their bath I think you have to have your own bathroom.

If that's positive.

Bathrooms are super cute. We're important if you can, ever you can possibly have separate bathrooms, Yeah, if you can.

It's separate for sure. One entrance with two different apartments would be lovely.

I would love that next door. Even better houses with separate houses would be amazing. I think I think I'm onto something there, to be honest, because you.

Know, there's set.

A friend of mine was talking to an architect friend and they were saying, the new thing is you have your own space.

Even that are like a duplex where.

Yes, that's what I'm saying now we're talking.

But definitely your own bathrooms, and definitely you just have to learn to find the sexiness even though you've seen all the other stuff. I've heard people say, like when you're getting ready to go out to dinner, you just don't want to be in the bathroom if you only have one at the same time. You don't want to get too familiar and comfortable with each other.

You just don't.

I don't know. I'm a believer in keeping the bathroom door closed. People says, you know what, real intimacy is being in the bathroom.

Together or pee with the door open. Yes, I agree. I'm not a not a fan. I think for some people that's the height of romance.

I am not one of those people.

Yeah, it's hard to unsee certain Yeah.

I see enough of my dogs going to the bathroom. I don't need to bring that into my human life.

You know, it's funny because I would like to see in our comments if people want to comment on their tricks, because I think that it's a really good ongoing problem issue for people.

If you're going to live with someone and if your marriage is going to last.

And stay romantic and sexy and fun.

As someone who's about to celebrate twenty seven years of marriage.

Well give us your number one secret.

I'm going to admit that we have separate bathrooms. Yeah, can I know not everybody has that luxury, and I do.

I do. They can always use the one down at the gas station if they If you don't, they can.

Where they leave the seats up. Anyway, Guys, they can go outside. They're fine pretending campaign.

It's got a perfect solution, all right, give.

Them a shovel and a leaf.

He'll be fine. Behind the shed.

You're good.

I put your shaving stuff in a little hanging mirror. All right, good, this is good.

All right, Well that was that was super fun, alright, super fuch fun.

You guys as always.

All right, You're gonna.

See you in a few days.

Bye.