Making Our Fathers Proud with Jose "Shorty" Torres & Josh Augustine | Still Friends Show Ep. 66

Dude, that's so sick that you guys get to like be best friends and just. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Actually say best. Friends receptors. Close to best friends though, right? Like some of the were. Orange. You said orange is not caffeinated. Ah, yeah. OK then. Grief. Dude, guys, see what I got to deal with? See what I'm saying, bro? I love it. So you were saying you said this is still friend show. It's literally.

Perfect for this. That's why I thought about, like, why didn't I have them in together last time? Ironic. I think he was gone, the last one. Oh. OK, OK dude. Was he crying on the last show that? No, that's my goal for today. Though. No, we can talk about a lot of stuff we'll do. Honest. Because I just watched and I can't believe I didn't watch it before you came on last the podcast you guys did with Marcus, it was a. Good one.

Yeah, great. I mean like honestly this you guys touched on. You guys could have gone for, I feel like. Oh yeah, we could have went all day we were. Like 67812 hours, like 12 months, like it literally could have gone on. Forever. Lana just in the back. She's like, this is getting really sad and dark. Let's cut it. Yeah. Can we pick up the comedy please? No, but that's always the thing. Like a lot of people get a lot from that. Like me personally, I was

bawling, crying to be honest. Like I haven't lost my father yet. I know you both have, right? I'm kind of in the process of it. He's got couple of cancers. I don't even know yet. I'm sorry, but your guy's podcast kind of help with kind of coping with that a little bit, even though it hasn't happened yet. Well, the the bad thing. And I I think I said in the podcast, like, there's no way you can prepare for it at all. Like it it's it's like it's like

a fight. You can prepare for every type of scenario situation until you finally get in there. You're like, oh, like, yeah, I might have obviously realized some things, but wow, this is a lot different. Or wow, he's a lot stronger than what I thought or faster or whatever the case may be. So the same thing with the law. So you just you can prepare for it mentally as much as you can, but you don't know how you're going to react until it actually

hits you. And you have this time ahead of you where you get to kind of like deal with it beforehand and kind of like set yourself up for whatever is going to happen. I with both of us, it was pretty like sudden. So it was just like like. Do you? Do you? Remember, let's get right into. The tears Bucket, Do you remember where you were? When that happened, I was just going to say I was just going to say so. I was in Rome, so I was. Do you want to talk about yours for?

Dude, I I mine. I ended up being in Rome. Give you a little story introduction first, OK, OK. Small guy, big head, former UFC fighter, eight time world champ. That's pretty much bought it. That's that's it, Jose. Shorty Torres, where were you born and raised? Chicago, IL I think, Yeah. What ethnicity are you? Mexican. And your dad, I heard he's a gang member, right? Yeah, he was a gang leader.

And you know, I wouldn't say I followed suit, but naturally, which is very ironic that this whole my whole childhood didn't drink, didn't smoke, like tried to be different. My dad was a very angry person. So I was like, oh, I need to be calm. This dad didn't want to fight, but obviously he put me into fighting.

And now that I go overseas, I'm like my whole life I did everything to not be my father, you know, but you want to be a son and stuff like that, you know, So whole life try to avoid the gang stuff. And then when he died homage, purple hair, stuff like that that I go overseas. I'm like, brother, we label you as Chicago gangster. I was like, wow, this whole childhood get away from this. And now I go overseas and I'm known as Chicago gangster.

So automatically, you know, everyone just puts me as that. How did your parents meet? Was dad full Mexican? Mom was Puerto Rican. Opposite. So Dad's Puerto Rican, my Mexican, you know, both born in, you know, in their respective countries, and then slowly came to Chicago and just somehow linked up my do. You have any sub siblings? One brother, two half sisters. Then I found out about one that's actually hilarious. So one I found out when I was 20, like, later on I was like,

oh damn. And she's the middle child. So obviously, like, he cheated and did this thing Rolling Stone and I was like, oh damn, I'm still the baby. And then do you watch novellas or anything or no. Like soap operas at least. OK. Yeah, Yeah. Yeah. That later on at my dad's wake. I'm trying to be the man of the house now, you know, by the casket like, oh, thank you for your condolences. Stuff like that. Some girl walks up with her mother and I'm like, oh, hey,

like, how do you like. Wow, you look familiar. But how do you know my father? She goes, I think I'm your sister. And I'm like, like in my head, I'm like, dumb, dumb, dumb like, oh, like you just can't get any, like, crazier, you know, 'cause my dad's body's right there. My mom's like, yo, I'm glad you're dead, you know? And I'm just like, I got another sister, you know, And the mom, the mom was like, I didn't know. She goes, I had a one night

stand with your father. And then years later, you know, I was with my husband, stuff like that. And she goes, my daughter was looking different than everyone else. And so we decided to take ancestry. And then there you go. I was like, oh, look at that. Wow. Yeah. But back to the the whole Rome thing. I'm overseas in Rome, and we used to watch a lot of Bruce Lee movies. And there was one with Chuck Norris.

I think it was a Return of the Dragon and or at least what we call it here in the States. And so I remember the Coliseum. So I'm in Rome, dude. Dude, I'm walking around like, oh, the Coliseum. All this would be dope. Coincidence. It was also my father's birthday. And so I'm like, talking to him like, oh, cool. I hope you're having a great day. The time difference is, you know, obviously insane. And so I was like, oh, I hope you have a great day. It's already midday for me.

He's just starting his day, goes out with my brother, spends the whole day and I was like, hey, I'll give you a call when I get back to the airport. I was like, alright, cool, love you, cool, happy birthday, blah, blah, blah. Then I get to the airport. Coincidentally, I took the wrong train and so I missed my flight. So I'm like, fuck, I'm here for 12 more hours. Let me call my father, call my father and my brother picks up the phone just crying like bad.

I'm like, hey, calm down like and my brother's very emotional, you know, So I'm like, hey you, what are you overreacting about? Like, relax. And he's like, Dad's in the ambulance going to, you know, hospital right now, blah, blah. I was like, well, what happened? And the way he was describing, I was like, kind of sounds like Dad had a heart attack, you know? And so they're like, yeah, they put him in the ambulance and took him in.

And then he had to get, I guess, a triple bypass surgery because everything was clogged. And my dad did steroids back in the day. So he was like my size 200 lbs. Just jacked. Yeah. And so he slowly started to lose weight throughout the years. Yeah, we're like, oh, you know, he's off steroids. Maybe that's why. But, like, when he finally passed away, I think he was like 123 lbs.

So, like, he got really, really thin where he's like, oh, yeah, I want to, I want to, you know, get one of your shirts. I'm like, why do you fit in my shirts now? Like, you were always an extra large and a large and a medium and then, you know, small. And so I'm, you know, I do the whole commentating thing. I was part of Brave for commentating team, you know, I had to, like, fake it to make it, you know, he's fine from the surgery, but he's sedated still.

And I'm like, OK, cool, Like, you know, Dad survived. Yay, you know, crazy surgery. But he survived. But he hasn't woken up yet. And they're like, oh, he's still bleeding. We're going to do another surgery now. I'm back at American Top Team at the time, and I'm just in my dorm. I was like, hey, mom, let me know stuff. I know you don't want to tell me stuff so I can focus on training

and fighting at the time. I'm fighting for my first world championship for Brave because I just signed with them and I'm like, OK, cool, let me, you know, I'll still focus on this. But obviously checking out my father, then they're like, oh, we did the surgery to to stop the bleeding. But now everything's slowly shutting down. And I'm like, why it's from a heart attack, from a, you know,

clogged arteries. There's no reason why his liver should be shutting down or his, you know, other organs. And so basically he was just on tubes and all these different things. And I'm like, let me know when it gets serious. And then obviously I'll fly back home. And I was like, oh, don't worry, just stay, you know, stay there. And then one day she gets in that call. You can tell by the, like, the

tone of her voice. She goes, hey, you know, the doctor talked to me and they go, you know, he's on the machines. And he honestly, he can probably go any minute. I was like, OK, how about this, you know, as calm as possible because I don't like to show my emotions like that. I was like, all right, do I? I was like, if he passes away, then he passes away. Let him go. Don't resuscitate him. He's on machines anyways, and if he stays alive until I get there, then we'll pull the plug

together. So I was like, I'll grab a flight and go. At the time. I'm like 3 weeks before my world title fight. And me, I'm mental. I'm like I'm going to still fight, still fight. I go downstairs to train and I was really close to Jillian Robertson at the time. She was really the only person I talked to. And my head is down and I'm like trying my best not to show my emotions. And she goes, you know, she always wanted to like mess with me.

And she goes, it hit me. And I'm just like, Nah, you know, Nah, Nah, no, no, no reaction. And she's like, what's up? And she sees, like, that one tear. And because I was really close to her, I'm naturally vulnerable. So my body just kind of like, let it out. I look up. And I had that one tear. She's like, oh, my gosh, gave me a hug. And everyone's like, why the hell is Jillian hugging Shorty? Like, she's not a very affectionate person.

And they look at me and they see my tears coming down. Everyone's like, oh, my gosh, this big old circle of friends and family. I was like, oh, this is amazing. Then they let them know what happened. They're like, you should go back upstairs and stop. Like, just relax. I was like, whoa, I got 4 hours until I got to leave to the flight, you know, might as well just train, you know, like get my mind off of it. They're like, OK, you know, so I start running.

Everyone's kind of like being weary with me. But for me, training was my my time away from time. Like you get punched in the face, you kind of forget but also. So that was the day that he had actually passed. So he was going to pass, he was

going to pass. And so it's already like 5 days he had his heart attack and then five days later it comes about and then, you know, I sparred and I was actually sparring Pantosa at the time and he's sweaty Brazilian shirt off, all that stuff, right when the bell rang, like the final bell, he's like brother and like opens up his arms, he's like, oh oh God, you know, he gives me a hug because it's like I I kind of, you know, snap back into it. We're like, I'm back to the

world. I'm like, fuck, my dad's dying and I'm like, oh shit. And I remember getting on the flight and our flight was a little bit delayed and I'm just in the back seat. I'm like, don't you fucking go dying on me now. Don't you die on me now. You know, like, I just want to make it home. And I remember my friend picked me up to take me. He's like, oh, I'm going to drop off my girl real quick. I'm like, I don't give a fuck about your girl. Let's just go to the hospital, please.

Like, I'm not trying to be rude, but my fucking father's dying. Just go get to the hospital. And it was like, it was like Moses splitting the Red Sea. Like I come in, everyone's like, what I'm in what I'm in. Like all the family just opened up. I was like, give me like 2 minutes, semi. Condolences. And then I'm like, well, like as professional as possible as, like, you know, talk to my father, like in my family I was like, OK, let's let's do it, pull the plug.

And then I start making some really too soon type of jokes, 'cause I guess that's my coping mechanism given I went a little too far sometimes. But I was like, I apologize to a lot of people. But with that being said, like, I don't know how to cope. And then I still went overseas trained, was going to fight and I started to have panic attacks because I'm at the World Championships. I was a two time world champions amateur as you already know.

Any type of pain that people will remind you about, it's it's not annoying, but it's like, hey, I appreciate the sympathy, but let's not talk about it. So the whole time at Worlds, everyone knows and my father passed away and in my documentary leading up to it, I was like, you know, I'm just going to ignore it and not talk about it, whatever. And I'm just going to go from there.

Everyone at Worlds, even, you know, Japanese guys, Russians, every, you know nation knows me. And they're just like, you know, they're like with the translators. My condolences brother. I'm just like. Sorry for your loss. Stuff like. That. Yeah. And even like Omira Bazi at the time, you know, I just beat him and he was fighting on the same card as I hate brother. My condolences. Stuff like that.

I'm just like, oh God, you know. And then I remember 2 days before the fight, you know, I'm cutting weight. I just plateaued emotionally like my body wasn't, wasn't at all coming down that I end up having like a panic attack in the sauna. And my nutritionist, very depressed guy, naturally, has had plenty of panic attacks. And he's like trying to coach me through it. And me mentally, I've never really felt this type of pain that I was, in a sense, trying to kill myself.

Like, I'm having this panic attack and he's telling me what to do. And I'm trying my best to do the opposite to where, like, I can either wake up in the hospital, wake up, you know, back at home, you know, giving I'm overseas or wake up next to my father, which means I died. You know, like the, like, those are the things that were going

to my head. And I was like, I I can't fight, you know, Did the press conference, I try to be as, as manly as possible, went to the press conference, like, I can't fight. Broke down. Let them let people know. And then, you know, went home and that was it. And then had to do what I needed to do And then, you know, took months to realize like, oh, damn, I'm doing a lot of really, really dumb things.

You know, take my anger out on people by accident or verbally attacking people or or just just not knowing how to cope. And yeah, it took me a while, you know, even know how to cry. Didn't know that was a thing that you should do, yeah, but it's part of the process, the mental journey. What did it look like growing up with him just being in Chicago and him being a gang leader? So I, you know the the the last child usually or the youngest usually has like the better life

more opportunity. You know the father or parents are like we kind of messed up a little bit on the the first one or the a couple few are. We got to do a little more for this. You know, it's not that you're the favorite child, but you get more. So in a sense, I got less ass kickings. Still got them. But you know, that's something I look at with my brothers, Like my brother got it like he took a

lot from my father. You know me, I took some, but I got a lot more opportunity and more love and affection from him than anyone else. Did you realize that as a kid when you were younger? Kind of. You know the the difference is and we all kind of want things we don't have, we can't have. So, like, I was raised by my mother, but since I wanted my father, you know, you want to be like your father. Since my brother was raised by my father, he wanted to be like my mom.

So we were very, very opposite as a child. We if we were like, when we had times together, amazing. But then we didn't have time together. I'm like, man, he's a scary guy. My dad sometimes would just get home mad and just want to beat up people, you know, if we were in his way, we got hit. That's just how it was. So it made us very, very tough. But as we got older, I kind of

realized the resentment I had. And no matter if he apologized for everything, like what's done is done, I can't change the fact of what's happened. So I have to deal with my own trauma. And I did, you know, I kind of, in a sense, forgave. And I was like, what's what's your job as a parent to give your kids a better life than what you had? You know, if it's 100% better or if it's .0001% better, technically, job well done, That's job accomplished. You know, the ABCD is passing

grades. So, you know, so for me, I was like, man, your life compared to mine. And I know his childhood, and that's a whole different story, is he didn't have a father. He at least gave me the opportunity to have one, even if it was rough or not. So I'm like, you know, man, technically, job well done. Let's find a compromise. And what do I know? I finally had like, the typical sitcom father. And I was like, oh man, this is awesome.

Tell him all my problems. And then when he passed away, I was like, all right, man, let me, oh, I can't tell you what I'm going through right now. So that was one of the biggest things. You know, I lost a lot of things in my life and my father was one of those. Besides your father, besides the reason why I did this sport, because I'm not a violent person, I like to help Warren. He, he knows a bunch of fighters, not more of a coach

than anything. And then the person to talk to, rely on or even just a best friend to confide to him, like, oh shit, I lost like 3 main things in my life. So it took me a while to get back to it, and obviously COVID didn't help. What was that like? Because I mean that resent that you developed for him. When did that start to be become a thing? I mean, I think that kind of came into play when I was a teenager. The funny thing is, so I did martial ourselves four years old.

We always used to like, play fight in the house, stuff like that, and seriously, fight. But when I became a teenager, my brother and so my brothers died twice. He got hit with the hell with the bat and I had to be resuscitated. I had like skull surgery, all that stuff. And then he got stabbed 17 times and literally lost all this. All of his blood had a whole blood transfusion. My my brother, the Prince of Bahrain, calls him the legend because he just won't die.

Like every story you you talk about him, they're like, he's the legend and the legend's bag. I'm like, dude, you just want you're like a cat. You won't die. But for me, when my brother got hurt the first time, he's yeah, shut out on the details. Like he's eight years older, you know? So I definitely got my asking about him too. But he was also like my father figure, 'cause he was so much older. He was like, hey, man, I went left. Then work out, right? You should go this way, you

know. So when he got hurt, he would actually fist with my father all the time. He was the rebel again, raised by him, so he didn't like him as much for me. When he got hurt, he goes, hey, I know you do karate and stuff, but I need you to learn how to really fight. You know, my dad back in the day used to be my mother, used to be my father, myself, stuff like that. So again, a very aggressive guy at the time, especially in his youth. So he's like, I need you to protect the house.

So we're going to put you in Combat Doe where I'm still at today with Master Bob and he's like how much you know how to really fight. And I was at MMA gym, taught everything and all that stuff. So he's like, I'm going to pay for you to go. For one year I was like, OK, cool. Literally, I joined Combat Doe to, in a sense, kick my dad's ass. I was like, at the end of the year I'm going to kick dad's

ass, blah blah. And then at the end of the year I ended up kicking my brother's ass a couple times. But ironic. But with that being said it got me closer because one I started to get stronger and better and and even my brother was like, damn, I can't, I can't bully him anymore. Like, I can't beat him up. But then two, my dad's like, oh man, my son's learning how to fight and my dad was such an aggressive person that he's definitely not the most educated.

Like my dad, my father couldn't read, you know, So he's like, if I can teach you anything, basically. One way to show you that I taught you something is if one day you end up kicking my ass or beating me up, I taught you well. Like, that's my job, well done. That was what he wanted to teach me. So for me, when I started to learn how to fight and I beat up my brother and like, did certain things, he's like, yeah, like my boys finally coming to it, you know.

And then him. And I was like, you know what? Let me. I kind of, you know, saw his background. I was like, you know what, man? Let me, let me compromise. Let me swallow my pride and forget about the trauma a little bit. Like, let me move it to the side. And then we started building a relationship at. What age do you think that was 'cause that's some seems very mature. Probably like 1718, 'cause I know my junior year I was definitely like that cocky

teenager. And then when I finally lost, I lost every first fight. Kickboxing, MMA, Muay Thai, all that stuff. And after that I was like, oh damn, I'm not as good as what I thought. I need to train more, train harder. Then he obviously supported it and then, you know, it all kind of came together. So I think around 1718 years old and then, you know, I would talk to him almost every day and then figure stuff out. Was it hard before that, in your adolescence? Like, did you love your father

before that? I mean, yeah, for sure. I mean my my family. I remember in 4th grade my mom the the last time because she's split up with him many times. My my mom's actually put my dad in jail multiple times, great times. My mom's a very, very powerful woman, but she one day I go to school in 4th grade and I never

missed a day. Like I remember getting stitches one day like I like that morning she goes no, no, you're still going to school like I was like Ma the cat just bit me like I got it like I got my cat bit me in my eyes. No. You're going to school. I had a virus for like 11 days. No. Cat. Yeah, dude, my cat. My dude, my cat was my cat was an asshole. It was one of those, like, let me just look at you. I was like, oh, what's up, Max? Oh, you're looking at me that

way. And he would just jump up and bite me like my cat. And I used a fist fight. It was great. It was actually really awesome. I missed that cat. But my mom never let me miss school. So one day, some girl's like, hey, your mom's done. Serves to pick you up. I just got to school. And I was like, you talk. Shut up. What are you talking about? She goes, No, your mom's here to pick you up. Going downstairs, I'm like, what's up, Mom?

She goes, oh, we're going to go to Uncle's house real quick. I was like, all right, I'll have to go to school. And I don't know where. I'm at my uncle's house for six months and I'm like, so where's Dad? Where's my brother? You know, where's my brother had his own house when he was 16 because they both kind of abandoned the house. And my brother's like, all right, well, I guess I'm just the random child left here by

myself. And my dad decided, obviously he's like, well, she doesn't want me. I should move out and so. When I was younger, and I know my mom dated and obviously never told me, I was so like, I want my dad, I want my dad, I miss my dad. And then eventually she would let me see him and stuff like that. But I was always thriving for his attention because it was again, I was raised by my mother. So it's like you want what you don't have. So I always wanted his

attention. I always wanted to be like my father, in a sense, did. It is that all? Did it give you a weird, like understanding of what love was? I I guess it's it's a weird thing to like again, we want things when we can't have. Like for example, my mother's giving me everything. I'm not saying I don't love my

mother. Obviously I love her to death and I think for everything she's done but it's almost accidentally or subconsciously belittled because it's like thank you for everything, but I want that even though this is all in a sense bad or trouble or or even just something I don't have, you know. So it's like we always appreciate the stuff we don't have, you know, and we'd kind of minor or or minimize the stuff we we have in our hands now. But my dad, it was just it was a different upbringing.

You know I was raised as in a sense the Goody 2 shoe. So I was always like the good kid this that and then my dad and my brother were like ah, we're rubbles like we're not worried about it. We're going to do whatever and then be careless and be free and and not have any regret. And if we have regret, it's like it was worth it, you know. So. And also just who doesn't want to be their father's son? You know, for the most part.

You know, I guess, unless you're Sean Strickland, but, you know, for the most part, Do you want to be your father's? Shout out the chance. Yeah, shout out the chance. Good luck tomorrow. I don't know when it's going to air, but good luck tomorrow, you know. So but that was the thing, you know, I I think I was I I can compare myself to Goku's goal ability. Or if you watch Hunter, Hunter Gone where he's just he's very careless and very open. I forgive people very, very

fast. So, like, my father did stuff. I was like, Nah, we're not in jail. We're alive, whatever. Like it is what it is. Let's forget about it. So I always got over things very, very fast. So when my dad did stuff to me, I was like, well, that ass kicking sucked. Hey, so you want to play, you know? And it was just like whatever to me. Even still now, like, I forgive people very, very easily.

So when it came to my father, I never, It's very rare for me to hold on to grudges unless you, like, really, really emotionally hurt me. That's probably, And I think that's also another characteristic of my father, like, he physically hurt me. I'm a fighter. I can take physical pain. I'm fine with it. And it's probably a reason why I can. But emotionals where it hurts. And for me, I never really got emotionally hurt by certain people. You know, it's probably been two or three people.

I'm like, yeah, I don't like you, you know? But other like my father, I'm like, yeah, I'm, I'm perfectly fine with this stuff. I can get through it. I'm alive and I probably minimize whatever pain. But I've also worked through it enough to be like, cool. We can have a mutual relationship because no matter what, we're family. That's interesting. So as a kid, like, did you feel wanted or loved?

You know what's crazy is because I started to study a lot of psychology and why people act the way they do, and I was actually talking to a friend yesterday. We're like, we're both natural pleasers and it's like, why are you a pleaser? Is it because the the hero or bad guy aspect? Is it because you went through this pain and never want to feel it again and never want anyone else to feel it? So you do stuff to reciprocate or because you felt that pain? Everyone else should feel that

pain too, you know? And for me, I guess I picked the good guy thing where because my father didn't show me, I guess the only physical affection I got was beatings for the most part. And I definitely never got verbal affection that for me, like my two love languages is like physical touch and words of affirmation. My dad obviously never really hugged me when I was a kid. And he never spoke stuff because he was too much of AG, you know, I was like, yeah, you don't need to be emotional.

You don't need to cry. You don't need to do this. But as he got older, he would like slowly, you know, calm down and show that stuff. I'm like, dude, where where was this my whole childhood? This would have been great. Before he started this chain and show you that side, did you have a hard time kind of showing like a a sensitive side or or loving

side 'cause? I. I just kind of, I don't understand how sometimes like people go and they choose the same route and they'd be, you know, that bad person as well, or they shift and they'd be the way you ended up. You know, my my mother, you know, taught me a lot when it came to just in a sense quote UN quote, being a gentleman, you know, because my father in a sense, at times was a piece of shit. She's like, yeah, you shouldn't do this, shouldn't do that.

And there was a lot of natural complaints about that. So it's like, OK Corn obviously at the time wanted to be different than my father when it came to emotions. So it's like, all right Corn, I need to show love. I need to show this. And I'm a very touchy person naturally. So I really enjoy you. I don't just say thank you. Like I want to give you a hug, like I want to show you some stuff. I. Just did it today out of nowhere to me, yeah. I just.

Kicked over the chair in the kitchen and just gave me a hug before he gets in the shower. And I was just like, OK, love you. Yeah, I see in a SEC. We got to get out of here. Hurry the fuck up.

I'm one of those people like I'm a natural flirt too so like yesterday we we went to we we we went to a restaurant you love love dude I'm I'm so again everything I didn't get I want to give so I didn't get that for my father I definitely got for my mother and again amazing stuff Obviously there could have been improvements on certain things in this nest. So for me I try to just give as much as I possibly can but I'm also very ADHD so my battery once it goes low I'm like I got

a my code word is hide. So I was like yeah I got to hide and it's like leave me alone. I'm probably having an anxiety attack or I need to put on my headphones, recharge or a day by myself. So there are a lot of moments in my life and we've talked about it like I lost the three biggest things that I ever wanted in my life to where like, I had no purpose anymore. So for me, you know, you if you wake up without a goal, man, you're just going day by day.

It's a really boring day and then doesn't make you excited to wake up the next day. And you're like, I do this again. That's why a lot of people hate their nine to fives, because it's very typical. There's no real end goal. There's like, we're just going to work until retirement and then whatever. Me, I have goals. All my purposes were gone. I got my, my goals set and then they were, they were taken away from me, you know, whether it was in my control, out of my

control. And I was like, well, shit, what I wanted to live for. Not saying I want to take my own life, but if a car was about to hit me, I probably wouldn't move, you know? So for me, it was like finding different ways to cope with a lot of things, trying to see if maybe they'll be other purposes that come in the plan of like, Oh my gosh, I do like that. Maybe, yeah, I can do this.

And then also just finding out emotionally how I react to certain things, especially when you're so traumatized from whatever you've gone through to be able to figure out what your triggers are and how to maneuver around them. Because no matter what, like I said with my father, there's always trauma with that. Same to my mother, same to other family and friends. There's always trauma with it.

But even if they apologize, even if they've done anything, if you can't get through it, then you're always going to rethink that. So like, I I my last relationship, I was engaged. I remember telling her I was like, your image of me has changed and certain some people, the image will never go back, you know, it's like from good to bad. And it never doesn't matter if I'm 10 times the man of what you thought of me as I'm maybe I'm 100 times better. You will always still look at

that bad image. And because you haven't thrown that away, that's always going to be thrown in my face. So what's the point? So let me just better myself or someone else, or just better myself for life compared to always reminding you of the trauma and you now getting over it. So that's why for me, I We all make mistakes about whatever we do in our life. Father's definitely made plenty. But I also looked back at it and realized he didn't know. He had no guidance.

He had no father figure. His mom beat the shit out of him. The reason why we got disciplined that way. And there's other things. So I'm like, you know what? I'm not forgiving you in a sense, but this makes sense. Why? You only know this. You understand. So it's like, you know what? I'm going to give you a little bit of a caveat. Cool. I got you. Thank you for everything. You tried your best, but technically my life is better

because of what you've done. So let me, you know, try to just let it go. And that's a 100% of personal thing. You know, I have to Wait, what's it? It doesn't matter what people do to you. It's how you react to it. So for me, that's why I'm so calm and so, you know, methodical of things, because it's just like, all right, well, I'm alive, not in jail, and I can still live my life fully, right? So let me do so. But every, every which way you articulated it right now, it's

like really advanced. Was that just from childhood and analyzing all of this internally since then, or have you done a lot of therapy work? Well, it's funny, 'cause I've gone to therapy thanks to my ex. She's like, you need to go to therapy. I was like, you know what? Yeah, I'm. I'm fucked up. And every time I've gone to therapy and given, I definitely didn't find the right therapist, they're just trying to give me medicine. They're like, oh, you need

anxiety pills or you're this. Now it's like, dude, I don't want to drug up. I want to be me. But normal, you know, I don't want to be like, again, when I was a kid, I made HD. They want to give you all these things that calm you down. But then you're a little zombie and I'm like, I don't, I don't want that. You know, I'm just a a shell of myself and I don't, I don't need that for me when I lost my 3 purposes. So for example, I lost my UFC career.

I did all these things and your whole life you work for something, have the resume for it too. But then it's out of your control and they're like, yeah, no, go fuck yourself. And you're like, but I have everything like, yeah, OK, we don't care. It's like all right. This is really, really unfair. So that makes me it belittled what I wanted to do and belittled me with all the stuff I had. My excessive presume. And then my father dies, my best friend, my purpose and just things.

Why I did the everything you know or even just try to live up to. And then my fiance, who for me, I'm a very big commitment guy, had a five year and a seven-year relationship. So I'm like, let me, I'm giving you my life in a sense. I want to have a family with you. I want to start, you know, kids, all that stuff. And then slowly you work so hard for something and then it goes away.

And I started to realize that was a cherry on top where these two things happened 1st and instead of venting to her, I'm accidentally emotionally taken out on her. And I'm like when when she finally left. Now I'm 100% alone, have no choice but to take that alone. Time to go. And it was COVID, so even fucking better. And I'm like, I have no choice but to work on myself. If not, I'm going to fucking destroy myself. Were you able to make all of these observations at that time, though?

At the end of everything, when I was fully alone, especially in the COVID, I remember, yeah, there's hope of like, oh, let's get this relationship back, stuff like that. I remember writing notes in my, like, anytime I think of whatever argument we had or little things, I'm like, oh, shit, that's what she meant, you know? And I'm just writing down stuff. And I would take all these notes

and read them back to myself. I have right now my laptop like 75 pages of notes to be like, in a sense, like a journal to be like, oh, this is what I thought about to, in a sense, better myself for you. And then in a sense, I also had to lose that hope that she was going to come back to stop being so Co dependent. Because I'm holy shit I am very Co dependent on this person in my life. Basically it's what's that Sean Kingston song?

It's like these girls got you thinking about suicide when they leave, you know, it's like holy shit that he was right. When a girl or or whoever your partner finally leaves, how do you feel about it? Can you still live? A lot of people don't want. To wait, how did that explain to you that you were Co dependent on her? Well, because she was. She was around that. Every time I had a problem, I would go to her.

I would rely on her, whether it was attention, whether it was somebody to talk to, to vent my emotions out. I'm a very physical touch person. Sometimes I would just ignore myself and just want sex and just like, oh, I'm just coping with that. That's my coping mechanism or whatever the case may be. So I would do a lot of things that relied on her or needed her to be there. So when she left, I'm like, oh oh shit, I don't who do I talk to? Well, I don't want to talk to anybody else.

Like, it's like, no offense. I just, I just mentioned it's like I don't want to bring out everything because I don't know what you're going to do with the information. I don't trust you. I don't feel comfortable. But her, I did. So now I had no one to talk to. The only person I had was to talk to myself. I don't know if you ever had a really, really deep conversation

with yourself. Like in a sense, like your conscious versus your real self, you're like, holy shit, I'm fucked up. Like when you really start to say stuff out loud, you're like, damn, that's not the right way to think about stuff. And I would write, I would journal it down, think about the same situation maybe a couple days later and go you know what, let me read this again and see if it actually makes sense. And I was talking to him about it. I was like, you ever overthink a

situation? And. And we all do. And you go to explain it to a friend. And in the process of explaining it to a friend, you want to speak as clearly as possible so you don't sound stupid. And the way you put it out, you're like, wait, this actually sounds really stupid. Oh dude, my bad. I I overthought it and like you end end up answering your own questions. So that's in a sense because I was alone. I was doing that to myself because I didn't want to sound

stupid. But reading these notes, I'm like, oh damn, I'm giving myself anxiety. Oh man, I'm giving myself this, oh man, I'm I'm not thinking clearly or every type of scenario, especially when I was trying to cope from that relationship. So I didn't bring my trauma into the next one. I'm like, why did she think this way? Let me figure out, you know, 'cause I was, I date my opposite. So, you know, like, I'm a very. I'm a huge extrovert. She was a very big introvert.

Not, like, introverts. That's just my thing. My, the Wednesday type. That's, that's the thing. So I don't know how you think. I don't know why you're so calm. Naturally. I don't know why you don't care about people's attention. Me, I'm like, I'm like a dog shaking my tail, like somebody play with me. So being able to think outside the box and to her head or just other people's heads, it's like, oh, that's why they think this way. Oh that's why they, you know, go

through certain things. Cool. It makes me better understand myself and how to react to people with certain certain scenarios. So it was I was just journal. I would journal watch Ted talks. Anime actually helped me out a lot. You know, dealing with your past and traumas. Cowboy Bebop is about dealing with your past. Samurai Champloo is about finding a purpose. Full met alchemist brotherhood. And I mean, there's so many

freaking things about that. But also being open to different perspectives because there's so many different character plots in it. Damn, like I it was COVID. There's not much you can do besides for me, train and then that's it. Eating, sleep, and then do it again. There weren't fights for me. I was overseas, so I would watch an anime. I'd do 2 hour drives. Like every day. I would put on Ted Talks about whatever situation, grief, relationship, stuff, get over, no breakup.

How to find a purpose, Dude, I was. I was doing everything I can possibly. I was listening to songs. You don't really listen to a song until you're hurt and you're like, oh, I know it's depressing song. I'm going to listen to. Holy, that's what they've been saying this whole time. Like, Oh my gosh, you know, so you start to pay attention more. So I was, in a sense, trying to do what I could to survive mentally. Like, I don't want to be a shell

of myself. And because of all that stuff, I'm now probably 10 times the man I was in that relationship. And just furthermore, not even the hope of that coming back, but just kind of like, holy shit, like, it's more of me not saying like, I want that relationship back. It's more just like, hey, I want to go back and say thank you because you helped make me into that. You know, you leave and actually help me. In the long term, definitely short term fucked me up.

But in the long term, it's like, Oh my gosh, thank you. Like, hell yeah, you were part of this growth and journey. Like people are here for a certain amount of time, your family life, you know, whatever the case may be. So it's like just thank you for your moments, the good, the bad, everything in between and like wish you the best of luck and go from. There. How did you know that at the end of it, this was going to be the

result, though? Like, I feel like myself, most people, you don't even know what to work on. So you would use Ted Talks or Podcasts shows to kind of make it numb and like forget about that stuff. For me, because everything I wanted was gone, I had no choice but to work on stuff. So I had to figure out the three things like, OK, what bothers me from all three things? Well, I had a purpose. I have no purpose now because this was fighting was my thing, or at least the UFC, and that's

time. Bellator wasn't as big. PFLI don't believe was around. Brave is maybe two years old, you know? So there wasn't any other competition that would financially sustain me and then also emotionally sustain me. Or, like, I'm on TV. I'm, you know, flying around the world, do this and that. So I had to figure out a different purpose. All right. So I looked at that. You know, it's like, do I have goals? What do I want to do? So I need to figure that out.

My father, I think the the first and foremost thing was grief. How do you grieve? I don't read. I hate reading anything mental. I hate doing. But I was like, I I got to read books and I would literally sit there and read a whole book in a day because I had so much anxiety. I was like, I got to get this done. I also just cram things in. But I was reading like Deepak Chopra books and you know, the four atonements and all these different things to like, just

figure stuff out mentally. How did you know that was going to benefit you though? Like, is it the books you were reading it? Didn't the the I always tell people no matter what you do, we talked about scrambling earlier. We talked about just life in general. Why I I like to say when people go like, oh, how are you doing today? I was like, oh, I'm alive, you know, trying every day. And some people will say the

same thing. They're like, Oh yeah, I'm just trying to get through the damn, like, dude, that's all that matters. I don't care what you're doing. As long as you're trying, even if it's in the whole wrong direction, you're still trying. No one knows the right answer, but you might find a way after that. So I I use the you're a fighter. I use the example of scrambling. If as long as you're moving, there's action, there's something, but if you stay still, nothing's going to

change. But you go screw it, I'm going this direction. Might not be the right direction, but you'll find out in the process of going, damn, I end up putting myself deeper in the hole. OK, cool. Let's turn around and go the other direction. Now because obviously that way wasn't the right way, then let me go back the other way. So just trying gives you an open opportunity of like, hey, there's other avenues, but if you just go, well, I'm fucked.

All this trauma is never going to get through. I'm not going to get through anything or whatever the case may be. As long as you're trying, there's opportunity. So for me, I was like, let me read. Like that was my cry for help. I I don't read. So I was like, oh, most of the stuff that you don't want to do is actually going to help you. So I was like, oh, I got to read.

It's like you're for strikers that hate training jiu jitsu and avoid it. They're like, oh dude, I hate it. I was like, oh, that's probably because you're bad at it. So you need to train it. It's the same thing. I was like, you know what, man, Let me read. Maybe I'll find something that mentally helps me. Even if it's one line out of a 500 page book, it might help me. And then it might open up an Ave. or something else. Oh, hey, look at that. Deepak Chopper or whatever does Ted talks or.

Cool. Let me look at oh, look at Steven Pitt or what's his name, Jordan Peterson and all these different guys. Oh, cool. Jordan Peterson. Oh, he's actually introducing me to this guy now and then. Even comedians. You know, Theo Vaughn is now emotionally speaking about stuff. Oh, that's cool. Let me listen to him. Oh, man, he's talking about real stuff. Oh, Sean Strickland with father issues. Oh, man, Me too.

You know it's like, oh they slowly, you know, it's a snowball effect but if you don't move then there's nothing. So for me, I was just trying every single Ave. And plus I'm such a pleaser at heart that I don't want to put my emotional pain on anyone, whether my friends, a future relationship, even just a random girl I'm dating. Like I don't want to do that. I want to be worse than the worst. At the time I was so not willing to live that I was never see like Vegeta where he's like the

final atonement. Like this is my last time you might see me. So let's enjoy this to the fullest. This is the last memory going to have of me, more than likely at the time of the way I was thinking. So I want you to be like, man, that dude in any sort of way was dope. He did this for me, did that for me. So for me, I live like it's my last day because in a sense, I died years ago. So now I'm like, you know what, Let's just see if I'm really alive. Let me enjoy my life to the fullest.

And you know, when I die, it's where I get hurt. She's like, it ain't as worse as what I already lost, so I'm good. Did you ever reach like a like a deep point of depression or even like suicidal at any point? I looked at a couple things. So I definitely actually look, I hit my car one day and some lady, like, stopped a couple inches. That was just one of those, like, accidents. I wasn't trying to get hit, but

I also didn't move. And she's like, you know, pull her in front of me and she has a convertible. She's like, why didn't you move? And I like Whisper. I'm like, why the fuck did you hit me? Sorry, sorry. You know, it just kept on moving. Plus she had a Mercedes, so insurance had been great. But. I noticed when my father passed away, subconsciously my coping mechanism was food. So I was binge eating so much and then running in 90° weather and Florida humidity with the

saw on the top and bottom. And I'd go outside and run for 40 minutes and I would take myself on routes where you had no choice but to run to that direction. And then when I turned around, I'm like, yeah, I'm back. And then I was like, I'm hoping I pass out. I'm hoping I get a heat stroke and die. Like, you know, I'm hoping something happens to where, like, I just don't make it. So I didn't know I was doing that. I thought I was just working hard. I'm like, God damn, I ate a lot.

All right, cool. I got to, you know, run and do this. But little. I know, I'm actually killing myself little by little. What do you think kept you from, like, directly being suicide or wanting to end the pain? I'm too much of A pleaser and I got a mother. I have family, you know, they take care of, like, I also financially take care of people. So I know, like, even though I don't have my own personal family, kids and stuff like that that I know of.

I deny a lot of calls, but. Following Daddy's footsteps. Don't take an ancestry. Don't fall. You don't want to know. For me, I is honestly, as much as I wanted to, I also, you know, shout out to these guys, merging veterans and players. We call each other MVP. It's veterans from military and then former professional athletes. The camaraderie of it's over.

What do we do now, dude, these guys go through so much stuff and Kamara Uzman stated it. And I know I saw it in a different video of if we go into a room with a bunch of people and we all put our bullshit in the middle of a pile, you're going to want to take your bullshit back because you're like, yo, I'm, I'm just going through this and I'm upset. I don't have no clue how you're doing it. You know, like everyone sadly somehow has it worse. So you got to find a way to to get through it.

So for me, as much as I 100% wanted to end it because I had no purpose for months, almost a whole year, and I did a lot of really, really, really stupid stuff, then I was like, you know, man, fuck it. Let's just see where this goes. And if I die again, I died, you know, last year. So then let's just keep on going. And if it finally, you know, somehow ends up taking myself out or the world takes me out, then so be it. I don't really care. But I never wanted to.

I also think because I'm so competitive, I never quit a sport, so I also never wanted to quit life. If I, you know, if that makes sense, I was like, you know, man, let me just keep on going. And if the world takes me out because I'm doing really, really stupid stuff subconsciously, then so be it. But for me, I could never. I don't think I have the balls. I do it either, you know? Also, I'm too indecisive. And if I go out, I want to go out with a bang. So I'm like, do I do it with a

gun? Do I jump off a building? Like, what do I do? You know? So I was like, what? What's the coolest way? Like, yo, he jumped off this Cliff. At least he did a backflip. Like, yeah, like something. Yo. So I was like, man, I'm but. You couldn't even be allowed to get to that point because of how you love your family and being the people pleaser. It's it's that man, I I was just, I couldn't do it because

of them. Like I I can 100% say with full confidence, if I took myself out, my mother for sure, my brother would take himself out. Would my brother's very suicidal naturally, you know, because he's been through a lot of shit. If I took myself out, I take out his reason to live. Even though he has kids, Like he's also, in a sense, my father, in a way, he would 100% take himself out.

And if my brother took himself out and I'm already gone, my mom, I don't know how she would live and she never, ever deserves that pain. You know, Obviously I have the life I have because of her, so it's like I can never be able to do that. So that's that's that's something that I'm not at all putting down people who've committed suicide or thought of suicide. But that's the hardest thing was like, you're so low in your head that you're like, dude, fuck everybody.

Like, I don't care. I'm sorry I'm going to put you guys through this pain, but I'm in so much pain. I don't care. Like that's how low you have to be. So it's like for me, I I guess in a point, I wasn't that low to where I wanted to live for them. So I was like, you know what, man? Let me try. And you always want to make your family proud, right? So as I slowly started to pick myself up, I started to do more. I was like, oh, shit, this snowball's rolling. All right, cool.

Let me oh shit, it went back down a little bit. But no, no, no, let's figure it out. You know, again, it can't 100% even still today, well, 100% never be worse than what I had at that point in my life, because everything was already gone. So what I wanted even. So today is gone. I still want new things, but if I never get it, sure, I'm still going to go for it. But I'm I already lost everything I wanted, so it is what it is. So a lot of it really does come down to the perspective.

It's 100% perspective. Again, it's how you react to things like material things or whatever. For me, I'm happy. Like that's that's a big thing to say. And it's not just happy, but I'm also at peace that when shit goes and hits the fan, which we've talked about plenty of times. All right, well, today's just that day. I'll figure it out. I've gone through all my bullshit before and again, I've already gone through the worst things that I could possibly go through.

So it's already done, you know? So let me This is bad, but it's not as bad. So let me just keep on going and see how it goes. Yeah, we. Were literally having this conversation last night. Yeah, we have a lot of random, deep conversations. It's actually really funny because we. Go from talking shit. Yeah, I was like that though. I was just about it. Like, we talk shit and then we're like, oh dude, this that, man, fuck you. I just think the way that you processed it, everything was

just, it's so unique. Like, I don't think most people end up there like you went through stuff as well, right? Like were you able to process things that way? Mine. We talked a lot, yeah. Yeah. The thing is that, like, so when we first kind of like reconnected out here in Vegas, I was just kind of going, I was going through a really rough breakup and I was just getting out here to Vegas. And I was kind of going through the process of what he was talking about, about being alone.

Because my family is huge. My dad was one of nine kids, so I have like hundreds of cousins. And like, I was just always used to a really busy household. And so whenever I moved out here to Vegas, I didn't have any friends, any family. It was just me training. And then I had to sit with myself outside of that, like and fight. Camp's already lonely in itself. And I didn't, you know, I wasn't

close to anyone on the team yet. So I I was just in the process and he came out here maybe like 3 months, four months after that. And then we sat down and it was like just as I was starting to heal a little bit from that and we were able to really connect on like all of these points that we're talking about breakup career. Not for me. It was not being where I wanted to be in my career and not knowing because I was coming off

the loss. I wasn't sure if I was ever going to get to the heights of where I saw myself and where I I still believe that I'll be. And going through the breakup. I was also very codependent on my partner, and I didn't even realize that until I was alone by myself. And then we obviously talked about our father's death. And then my my father actually passed away 3 weeks before a fight that I was supposed to have as well. But luckily they had pushed that back like six weeks, so it gave

me a little time. How long ago has it been now since your father passed? It was November 11th of 2021, so we're coming up on three years next November. So a little, a little over 2 years, yeah. So I can remember saying this at at my dad, it was, I just wanted to touch on this because we were talking about it before because you're you're going through stuff too.

I can remember saying at my dad's funeral, he had called me the night before he died and it was so abrupt and I was just like at the time I was working two jobs. I was training for a fight. I was three weeks out from a fight. So I'm right in the middle of the camp and I'm going between houses. Me and my girl at the time, we had just got her own place. And my dad was working in Wisconsin, so we were going between houses. I had my son. I'm working two jobs, I'm training, got all the shit

going. He just called me just to talk and just be like, hey, what's up? How you doing? Blah, blah, blah, you know, like bullshit. And I was like, so just like, caught. I think I was like, just getting home from the gym. I had to go pick my son up like you, you know, the struggle. And I'm, I'm running all over the place. And I was just like, what's up, man? Like what? What do you want to talk about? Like? And he's just like, nothing, dude.

I just wanted to catch up. And I was just like, let me call you tomorrow. Like, I got so much shit going. And then I was at the gym. I had a missed call from him. I tried to call him back and he didn't answer. I didn't hear anything. Called him back again later that day. Didn't hear anything. And then I ended up getting a call from the medical examiner's office that evening. And I just remember just, like,

breaking down. And like, the thing that I said at the funeral was just like, man, life is so short. Everything's so abrupt. Like, you really don't know, like, what's going to come tomorrow. You don't even know if tomorrow's going to come, So you have to take time out for your loved ones and you have to treat every day like it's gonna be your last day. Every, every conversation might be your last conversation, whether it's the other person's gonna pass or it's you.

So you know that that was something that that like we really connected on how. Like how badly did that affect you, that being your last conversation with him? Yeah, that that really fucked me up really bad because him and I had a lot of ups and downs in our relationship because he he was a man man. He was a man's man.

Like he didn't play no shit. So like I caught my fair share of ass whoopins and you know, but I know, I know that he loved me and he did take care of me and actions speak a lot louder than words and that's what I was thinking about whenever he said that and you asked him did you feel loved as a kid? I I I really felt that because like I did feel loved as a kid for sure. Like I knew I was loved through the actions of being taken care of.

But you like, you're maybe not necessarily like held and like told like oh I love you so much, blah blah blah. So like, that's something I try to do with my son every time. Sorry and. Then it's also like signing the little things. For example, like my my father was very introverted. So it's like the little things that you do like hey, good job and I walk away and that's it. And then but that is fucking. Everything.

Yeah. Yeah. But he hears me, like whenever I'm talking to my son on the phone or whatever and I'm just always, I love you. I love, you know, I love you so much. And then I hear the way you talk to your son, right. And that that actually influences me. Like the way you tell your son you're proud of him, like, hey, good job, good job, son. You know, like that that I think that's really fucking cool. And that's something that I really try to do. And I would like working on my

communication. My father wasn't the best communicator either. So you know there was like a lot of aggression like taken out or like, you know, like just like pop off at something. So I try to just like slow down and just communicate the best as possible. So yeah, that conversation or that that last conversation that we had, it did really fuck me up for a long time. And it took a little bit for me to like tell myself that that was OK because we had shared we man, sorry.

We had shared fuck, we had shared so many other memories. And he, like I knew at the end of the day he was proud of who I was and who I was becoming in the process. So it wasn't like, that's not that doesn't define our relationship, even though that that really affected me and really hurt me. And like, sorry, This is good. This is good shit right here. This is good shit. You guys better appreciate this. I just. Want to say I'm going to make so much fun of you later?

Do you? Remember when you cried on that podcast? You fucking pussy. Remember that other podcast you cried? So, yeah, but but you know, it's just like I said, it just, it doesn't define the relationship. And you have to. One thing for me is like when he passed, almost all of those bad memories became like very distant and you start to just remember the good times and you start.

You can laugh at at a certain point, you heal to a point where you can laugh at even like the bad memories and like the shit where they fucked up. And you're like that crazy motherfucker, like that's wild. But like it, you know, whenever it first happens, it's like so fresh that you're just like anything you see, you'll just fucking drop of a dime. You start fucking bawling your eyes out and like you can't even

contain yourself. And like, obviously I'm still like emotional about it. But like, now I can talk about it. Now I can deal with it now you know it. Oh, it it takes time. I. Feel like every time now you talk about it probably helps heal even just a little bit more. Absolutely, absolutely Ben. That's why we. I think we got so close is because we can just we could we could just open up about anything and we understood where each other came from.

Where like not everyone has like a lot of same experiences where we were in like a very similar position except he was a little farther along with his career life, goals and understanding like the passing of a relationship and a parent and all these things. And so he kind of helped guide me through that as well. It's definitely a process.

So whenever, like we've talked about on other shows and stuff about him kind of playing like a Big Brother role in my life, like that's definitely has a huge, huge part of it. And is that part of, you know, being able to give others what you didn't have seeing him? Yeah, like now you get to play that Big Brother role. I've I've always wanted to be a father and a Big Brother. You know, I have obviously the opportunity to be a father one day.

But for me as a Big Brother, because I was always the youngest, you know, I wanted to be able to do certain things. And when I didn't have it, especially growing up in the ghetto in Chicago and this, that whatever the case might be, I just wanted to give it to other people. So I would always actually hang out with younger like kids.

I'm like, yo, I got you guys this that when I was when I was 19, I went back to my old college and or my old high school and we had like a kids program and there was two kids, Josh and Igor, at the time. They were, I believe, 11, and I took care of them for eight years. Like, there's like, hey, can we hang out after after, you know, wrestling season? I was like, yeah, ask your parents. They were orphans. Or one was a orphan and one was adopted.

And so I was just like, I mean, ask your parents, I don't care. And another reason why I don't like medicine, like ADHD medicine, 'cause they both were so mental and traumatized from their stuff. And when I say their life was fucked up, it was fucked that I was like, dude, you guys are really good with me. You don't need your medicine.

Yeah, and then they hang out the the adopted older parents, they would take advantage because one of them would only he would only listen if he was intimidated, and the other one, he would only listen if you like, brought a presence, if that makes sense, Like if you can actually verbally discipline him in a proper way. We was like, oh shit, you make

sense. Like logically then he would listen to you and the other one was physical because he grew up in Russia, one of those, you know, Russian orphanages like he need. If he wasn't intimidated physically by you, he would not listen, you know? So like, I was obviously a fighter, so I'm like, dude, I'll beat the shit out of you and but those kids, and I love them to death, they're like, my God kids in a sense. One of them is actually my godson.

And other ones, like my fake nephew is what he calls me his fake uncle. So I took care of him for like 8-9 years and you know, watched him grow up. So I've always wanted to be a Big Brother and father figure. So when I see stuff to where him and I relate, you know, even though he's what, you're a year younger than me, You know, it's like even people who are older than me, I was like, oh damn, you haven't gone through this yet, huh? I was like, here, let me give you my two cents.

If it relates to you, awesome. If not, take a couple pieces and cool. This is what I want. All right then. Then take your own little way. It's like me and my career. I'm going to give you guys a blueprint. And then after a certain while, it's like, all right, I'm going to divert my own little path. Now this is my journey, you know, And then that's your own little way. This is mine. And hopefully you make it past. That's I guess the process of being a Big Brother and a father figure.

So that's usually my goal, but something that I want to bring up for you about, like the argument with your father. So my brother brought this up to me a while back. My brother and father's relationship has always been, you know, like physical altercations, all that stuff. And my dad had a tendency would always call my brother for stuff. So my brother's like, man, fuck him. I don't want to, you know, talk to him this that whatever the case can be.

And it was my dad's birthday. My brother that night before, he's bipolar and he's also gone through a lot of like, shit that he's mentally just unstable sometimes. And he definitely has his own trauma to work through as well. But he he's like, dude, I had a a gun in my hand and I wanted to shoot myself. And then literally, like, dad called me and was like, hey, it's my birthday. You know, Angel, my middle name. He's like Angel's overseas mom's at work. You want to you want to hang

out? My dad is a very, very big introvert and my brother's like, all right man, let's fuck it like it's your birthday. Whatever. I'll get over the argument we just had. They went out and my brother's like, man, this is nice. Like, he had a good day. He's still mad trying not to, like, let it come up. But he's like, you know what, man? It's his birthday. I'm just going to try to ignore whatever bullshit I'm going

through right now. And then the argument we just had and he do, my dad was doing stuff. It was like, give or hear people the day before they die, Like, if they have cancer, whatever the case may be the day before they die, they like, have that one last day of full energy. They feel great. It's like they're their body telling them, like, hey, here's your last hurrah, enjoy yourself. My dad was like, dude, let's go to the mall again. A very big introvert.

He's like, let's go to the mall, let's hang out with people. He goes to Denny's and starts hugging. Like, waitresses are randomly hugging him. My dad's not a hugger. And I was like, he's telling me the story. I'm like, yeah, that's what we did. I'm like, dude, what? What the fuck? You had the best day ever. You know, the best last day ever. And then he's like, yeah. And then in a sense, dad died in his arms, you know, put him in the in the ambulance and stuff

like that. I was like, I, as as sad as it is, like, I would have loved that. Like, obviously I'm overseas hearing this shit. You know, like it's, it's, it's kind of like I'm not at all relating it to this, but it's like putting your dog down, you know, it'd be like, all right, cool pie, you know, thanks for all the years. And then you just leave. It's like, Nah, man, let's, you know, be with my dog together,

'cause that's a happy moment. Like, hey, you make me feel comfortable going to the other side, you know? So, like, dude, Dad, you were the last person Dad saw. That's fucking awesome. You know, as sad as it is, like, good for you, that's an honor, you know, like you're in your son's arms, you know, passing away. That's how the cycle of life should be. And he's like, honestly, as sad as it is, I'm glad I picked up the phone that day because I was so depressed that I was like,

man, fuck it, It's his birthday. Let's hang out with him, do whatever. It's like, that's why I got over stuff. Because you just never know of like, you know what, man, it is what it is, What said is said, what's done. It's been done. It's not going to change anything, whether you apologize or not. Cool. Let's hang out. Come on. You know, like and I try to be as mutual as possible because

you just never know, you know. So for me, that's why I get over things fast, 'cause you just never know. I try my best to tell my brother that as well. And the same thing with just life in general of like you understand the bullshit's going to happen, Cool, let's try to find a way to divert it and just kind of go with the flow and

enjoy stuff to the fullest. Cause no matter what, it might always still be there, but it doesn't mean you still can't enjoy yourself so. How have you not had a kid yet? That's a good fucking question. Game really strong, OK? Dive in RAW. And I'm always with the condom. That's boring, dude. I'm I that's. What I tell him every. Trust me. Trust me. I know you. Have that much time on your hands. Dude, I'm, it's crazy, 'cause I'm such a hypochondriac.

Like, I thought I had everything when I was a kid. Like I'd have an hitch. I'm like, Oh my gosh, I gotta get tested. Can you tell him the? Yeah, one story, dude. I remember. I remember one time I have fun with the girl overseas. OK and I I ended up going to like 3 different continents in two months and and I had like 14 flights in those two months but

like all different time changes. Y'all went from like, you know, Chicago all the way to Kazakhstan to Bahrain to Abu Dhabi back all the way to Rome and the back of Chicago. So like the time periods are like, fucking me up if you don't know jet lag, WebMD fuck you is if you type in jet lag. Every symptom of jet lag is the same symptom for like HIV AIDS,

dude. And so like, I'm I'm, I just had, you know, phoned this woman, great woman, when I'd say whatever the case may be, you know, protecting myself was all good. But I'm mental at the time, super, super mental. And I'm just like do I feel like shit no matter what I'm doing? I don't feel better, but I'm jet lagged. I'm literally going country to country, different time zones back and forth, never getting a chance to get acclimated. Once I do, I go somewhere else.

And so I'm, I feel like I'm fucking dying. The the ring announcer who was fine with me majority of the time, he ended up in the hospital because of how Jet lagged. He was older, individual. And so for me, I'm just like, man, at least for you it's your heart. Because he already had like heart attacks before. So I'm like, oh, it's your heart for me. I dude, I think I'm dying of AIDS. Like, I'm like, I'm pretty sure I have AIDS. Like I dude, I was so mental with it. It was fucking bad.

And I remember, like, taking, like, blood tests and like, yeah, you're good. I was like, no, you need to check again. Like, I'm pretty sure I have AIDS. Like, I won't be happy until you tell me I have AIDS. Like, 'cause I don't know what the fuck's going on with. It What made you think you had AIDS? It was just because, like I at the time I had, I had an open relationship. So, like, we got to mess around, 'cause I traveled so much was like, hey, man, I just want to have my fun.

She's like, yeah, whatever, do your thing. Just be safe. And then I had my fun. And literally days after I'm just like. You fucked a dude. No, God, no. I'm just like, it was it was like, lady boy, it's different. Not really a dude. It's pretty much a dude. Blurred lines, but I'm just. Like. I didn't know, but I was just like, man, I'm, I don't fucking

feel good. And I was taking all these blood tests and just, yeah, I was like, anybody got any antibiotics, Like just in case, like I was just I was dumb as fuck. Like, later on, like like we talk about traumas. Like when you think about it's like, well, I really overthought that situation. Like, dude I. That's hilarious. So for. For me, for me, I'm super safe. Like, I literally got tested. I get tested every three months.

Just because, you know, I like to have my fun, do my thing by my hypochondriac, so I make sure I'm clean. I've always got condoms, especially 'cause I travel a lot. Like, I don't know who the fuck I'm running into. Like you can tell me all the stuff up front, but we talk about slots like I call bullshit, yeah. We roll it up, we're we're trying to live lifestyle. So you never know what's going to happen on the drop of a dime all. Right. And yeah, we both have our types. Any who?

What is your type? You want to tell my Dick? Darkness Slayer. Apparently the Darkness Slayer. So yeah, yeah, The Dark. The slave you. Like to bring light to the dark? It's something like that, you're just trying. To have some Olympic babies. It's honestly, is that what it is? That's really what I want. I just want I want. I want tall, dark, tall, dark and handsome babies. That's really all I care about. What about you? Be like Auggie. My baby Mama is a tall, thick white girl. OK, yeah.

So I like. I like them tall, thick white girls, but I'm more like sway Lee. You know, like bad bitches is my only type. I don't get too crazy. We're. Both ass guys, so it's great. Yes, yes. Yeah. We appreciate the the curves. Yeah. Your son, he's this healing Vegas or he's back in a? He's actually moving to Vegas on February 1st. Oh, no way. So I'll have him full time out here with how excited are you for that, dude? It's such a blessing, man. I'm. Gonna have a A play, play

partner. Yeah, Sparring partner, yeah. That too about. The same same weight class, Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna fuck him up. He's gonna wear a Spider man outfit. A company's a green guy. Yeah, he never takes the Spider Man outfit off. But yeah, he's he's moving out here full time. And that's just, you know, like I don't have to tell you. It's the only thing that really matters in life. Like like everything that him and I are talking about. Like it is my ultimate purpose.

Like whenever I look at fighting and like everything that him and I had talked about, like I just want to provide, you know, that's the only thing that matters to me. And making sure that he has a life that I never had and being in the position that I'm in and seeing the amount of success of the people around me, you know, everyone over at Extreme Couture and like it. I never saw that before.

And so to be able to, you know, if I have to sacrifice my own health for him to have the best fucking life and opportunities whenever he becomes a man, then I'll sacrifice myself. Yeah, I'm. I'm trying to think. I don't have any scares. I've never had a scare. Are you scared right now that they might not? Well, I always have anxiety then. Actually, then actually, I always have anxiety. But no, no, I'm not scared. Like, have you ever had your

your swimmers tested? No, I don't think that was. Coming down in his mind, he's like, I was like, get that shit, I. Was like, fuck, no, I've never, never had a scare. Even like back in the raw days. The only time I had the raw days was with my girl and and you know, my fiance and she was on the depo shot. So I was living life at the what the depo shot. Like birth control, a type of birth control.

You take a little depo shot. I think it's like every three months that shit fucks you up. Emotionally, it's ridiculous. But yeah, there's never had a scare. It was always good. Is that lucky or? It's just, you know, smart thinking, I guess. I don't know. I'm just, I'm very safe, which is probably, yeah, a good thing. Bad thing. I don't know. All depends on the person. So never. Yeah. I think she was the only person that ever, like, came inside of.

So I never, yeah. I don't have fun and be like like I don't even come in the condom. I was like, no, I'm coming all over you fuck that. Like. And then I'm also super paranoid that I'm like, you fucking stay right there. Don't you move and I'm like grabbing stuff and like, don't you grab a hand Like, you know how they try to trap celebrities? Like, yeah, I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, yeah, no, I'm too prepared with that shit. Well, yeah, it's wild.

How do you do that then? Like you keep baby wipes next to the bed Or I'm. Prepared with everything. I'm a very sexual person, so I'm prepared with everything. It's great. That's a whole different podcast we can. That's a long one. Well that kind of explain, does that explain your only fans partnership or how did that? Come to be. That was just a sponsorship and they wanted some shut up only fans. So the main concept for only

fans is the original concept. Should I say it was like a Patreon. Basically all the YouTube creators would make some great content and then also not have they. They wouldn't meet the criterias to make revenue. You know like 1000 subscribers or 4000 thousand hours of think monthly views or whatever the case may be. So only fans came about and they're like, if you want exclusive stuff, then maybe whatever subscribers you have will pay $5 or $3 I believe is the minimum to watch. Whatever.

And then if you can pick that up in a month or you can do a monthly subscription and then get everything for whatever price that is $20.00 a month, you, you know, get this. And so there was really no rules for only fans. So for only the people who started to like transition, they're like porn stars, models. They're like, you know what? I show a titty on here, you know, for $20. Oh my dude, I just made 300 bucks in 2 minutes.

Oh yeah, I'm going to do more. And so incentivize a lot of, you know, open people if you want to say, to get on that platform. And then obviously overwhelmed it to where people only see only fans as just that. Other platforms like Patreon and and whatever other platforms they do a subscription service, like only fans. They have different rules. They don't allow nudity, They don't allow certain things.

Only fans like yeah man, we don't care for the most part, as long as you're not threatening people and and abusing. People like, just give us your percentage and yeah. But yeah, pretty much they're they're 100% pimping you out. Like they take 20% of whatever you make, which makes sense, you know, the the platform makes sense.

But they're like, man, we made so much money, but we need to get back to the original reason and that was to incentivize subscribers of whomever, athletes, general people, regular everyday life chefs, whatever the case may be, You can on this platform and utilize it to make extra money.

So that's why you see them sponsoring so many athletes or being on all the local promotions, Titan LFA, all this stuff for sponsoring athletes like myself and so many more because they want to bring it kind of that that image again of like we're not just this and we get it and then we're not going to stop that. You know, if you want to imagine us as that, then so be it. But this is our platform. It just also includes the bad side everyone thinks about.

So what kind of content do you post to? Only fans. Oh oh Dick pics. No, I it's like, oh, just only Dick pics. You want to see why they call me Shorty? Yeah, it's like the Super close, super close where you're like, it's like, wow, how big really is he? Pay an extra 500 bucks and see. Also that is that is a talent by the way. Anywho, a whole different perspective that's I missed those days. Anywho, it's like, what's the last last time you sent a Dick pic? I'm trying to think of my head.

I was like, holy shit this has been a while Got. Problems, man. So probably like yesterday, it was. Today I just said hello to someone on Hinge and I was like straight to the point, no so mental health videos because when I was going through my shit I was like worse than worse. If I take myself out, at least people can go, man. He went through this too, and he gave his two cents of maybe how to get through or at least what I would have, should, have, could have done.

So I can take that as an advantage and then go my own little way. Again, the blueprint technique videos, training camp videos, and then food blogs. But then also I started posting like progress picks because somebody's like, oh dude, you have a nice body, obviously only when I'm cutting weight. And so I was like, you motherfuckers. So I was like, dude, post progress picks and post it for like $5.

If people want to see it, they'll, you know, pay the five bucks to see it and, you know, do whatever they want. I was like, all right, cool dude, You made like 60 bucks in like 5 minutes. It's like, yo, I'm just showing what I show on TV and that's, you know, waist up. So it's like this is fucking awesome. Yeah, every once in a while. And obviously I'm fat and happy right now, so I'm not at all posting any prospects. Do you, I mean like would you be able to do only fans full time

kind of thing? If I wanted to, then yes, because I know of different ways to be able to incentivize people without showing that stuff. And it's not at all putting people down who do it. Like I've had people in my family who are prostitutes or you know, sex work or strippers and stuff like that. Like do I grew up in the hood? Like who? I grew up in a trap house. We've done some fucked up shit to make money, so I don't care about that. I just don't really want to do

that. Don't. Not because I guess I have self esteem or pride of myself. I I'll show a Dick. I don't give a fuck. I'm surprised my Dick pics aren't out there, but especially from college. Oh my gosh. But especially when Snapchat first started. Oh my gosh. But for me, I have a lot of kids who look up to me and whether it's boys or girls or whatever the case may be, I don't want them going like, oh man, he's a fighter, but now he's doing this.

Oh, I can do that too. Then I might as well do that or I might not get it. He went to college but still decided to do this. Then what's college for? I'm not going to go to college. So no, no, no. Let me be a prime example and and try to be a positive role model. So as much as sometimes I'm like, yo, how much you going to pay for this? Yeah. Like, let me. No, I appreciate the. And you get some crazy

incentives. Guys Will want to buy jock straps or, you know, see feet picks or obviously see whatever. It's in my way, bro. You know I need the cash. I. Got I got jock straps and dirty underwear. Do you have an? Only fans? No, I don't. Why not? Because they're not paying me anything and I don't think I have quite the following. I was going to talk show. I was like, do you know who he is? Neither do they, apparently.

Yeah, I mean, I guess I could start it, but I just don't know if I have the fan base to have like the amount of subscribers to really put out and you know, like content and actually make money from it. So yeah, if they sponsored me or something. But enough Dick pics out there. Then, you know, I might might do something like that, but so yeah. Where did your huge following come from, 'cause? I mean, you obviously had a very impressive amateur career, 25 and one, right?

Yeah, 25 and one right now. What am I, 12? Two and one. So I've had 41 MMA fights since. Hold on and like 50 plus and Muay Thai kickboxing. I was an amateur, 200 plus and wrestling and just all this other stuff. So for me, I guess the main thing is my In high school, my coach would call me the mayor of like, Berwyn Cicero, the neighborhood I look. Kind of high school coach. Wrestling coach because I would introduce myself to everyone and he's like, the hell are you

doing? You look like the mayor. Like, I'm like, hi, how you doing? My name is Jose Shorty Torres. It's hilarious. You still do it. Yeah, I still do it. It's just one of those things I did, my mom. Was one of stickers at Stoney's last night. Yeah, it was great. Yeah. Every girl that came off the bowl. Hey, already to it. Yeah, it works. Yeah. Sorry. I'm going on a date tonight. I'm hanging out with her tonight. Darkness layer slaves again.

So I yeah man I always promote and and I'm also I hope that I'm a a genuine person So like when I talk to people was like I don't ask people like oh hey, what's up? Oh cool. I need this. When I was like hey what's up man? How's everything been You know I actually try my best to check up on you whether you want to open up to to me or not and then you know business starts whatever the case may be or I just try my

best to help. So the word spreads like oh damn, he's a cool person or says whatever and then people slowly start following me. Obviously I always, I'm never content. I wish it was more in this and that, but fighting helps. But I think I know a bunch of UFC fighters that only have, you know, 10,000 followers. You know, like you're on TV like 20 times and why why don't you have more followers? They don't promote.

I promote, I do a lot of different things I think outside the box and I hang out with people. I try to be the people champ, if you want to say, you know, and I try to get back and I also have my own foundation where like I just hang out with a lot of people and I give money back and then try to do certain things. So yeah, more than likely you like me on my Instagram. No one. I don't have hitters on my Instagram. Not that I know of, at least. When did you know that it was

the right time to turn pro? That's a pretty extensive amateur career, right? It wasn't my choice. I tried to GoPro after the first world championship and I was still one more year in college and my coaches like, whoa, you can't GoPro because I had a full ride and NCAA rules with professionalism is once you go pro you lose your scholarship. So he's like, well, you can't you can't GoPro until you graduate. I'm like, OK, fair enough.

He goes, well then you might as well do World's World's in three months. I was like, man, I don't, I don't want to do it again. Like I already want it And what if I lose Now I'm going to be like, oh, I got to do it again. I'm going to wait a whole another year and he's like, trust me, just do it. Swallow your pride. And again, the blueprint. I was like, you know what, man? I'll be coachable. Fine. As much as I don't want to, I'll listen to One Worlds again.

And then because of that, you know, I meet, you know, the Prince of Bahrain, you know because he was part of his team there in Bahrain and get inducted into his team and then get signed to Titan FC because of like a snowball effect. I met Lex McMahon out there and now he's my manager that make it to the UFC. Now I'm you know. That's the interesting point, that what was that like making

it from Titan FC up to the UFC? It was really, really annoying because I'm in Titan FC-3 and O become a world champion defended against a guy with 19 and 2 and 86 seconds, never been finished. I'm the first one to finish him. Was like, all right, cool. Hey, UFC. No, fuck me. OK, cool. Let me bump up. My favorite fight is Manny Pacquiao. I was like, he's multiple weight class champion, let me do an MMA, bump up the bantamweight. I won the championship belt with

a broken hand and torn MCO. Then they're like, yeah, no, we we don't want you right now or they call me, but I'm clearly recovering and I'm like dude, I can't fight for like 4 months. They're like, so you want to fight next week? Just just going to ignore what I just said, OK, how about two weeks? I'm like, dude, I can't, I can't train until October. It's like, alright, you want to fight? The first week of October, I was like, no, I can't train until the first week of October.

Like, you're just being a jerk to me right now. And so I got like 10 calls from UFC. I'm not associated with him, Hunter. Gamble. And it was very bad, at least my experience. What do you think the reason for that was? I was a flyweight. And were you just like lower on their list, so you just kept being like? No, no. I was the most highly touted amateur or seemed to be professional outside the UFC. This is just the era where the UFC was looking at getting rid of the division.

So when I got signed, you know I all last minute fights, 9 day notice, 20 day notice in like a month and a half span. So I lost 26 lbs and and 28 lbs. And you know, so I lose my my first fight as professional. I haven't lost 33 straight fights. So so be it. Bad day in the office, you got me. I look like shit. It is what it is, you know. Also against the dude who ended up challenging. Yeah, I ended up challenging. For the time, Alex Perez. So which He's a bully to me now. So rude.

Fuck you, Alex. But he so I I, you know, lose my fight. And I'm also going through some mental stuff because I haven't lost in at that time in eight years. So I was like, you know, man, let me make mental health videos with the only confidence, nervousness, just, you know, ran themselves to help amateurs. And then DJ got traded and I was like, my business mind came into play because I've always been very business oriented.

I was like, dude, the UFC has just just traded the UFC's best champion in its history for Ben Askren, a guy that Dana White at the time clearly talked shit about. And I was like, ah, Ben Askren was over the hill. Yeah, and he was way past. Was he? Well, no. He. Was past his prime way past his prime. Tired at that time. But he was very. Close to he might have been, he was. Very close to where he's like, I I don't know if I'm going to

fight unless it's worth. And then he got signed to the UFC, They made the trade and I'm like, wait, we don't have a Colby Covington, We don't have a Connor. No offense to Hudo's bumping up and no offense to Benavidez, but he just lost to the champion twice. And you know, he's not as exciting as a persona as these other guys. He's a very calm to himself person. So it's like, who else do we have? No one knew Brandon Rayno the time, no one knew Pantojo, all these guys.

So it's like why have a division, especially with like Dustin Ortiz, I think at the time making, you know, close to six figures, 6 figures, 6 figures. I think it was making 80 or 70, whatever the number may be, and then they're offering him, hey, we're going to slowly cut the division. How about instead of 7070 you go to 10 and 10. He's like, no, I'm going to go to a different promotion. Like no offense man, I'm a

veteran. So when you look at fighters like Dustin or Ali or all these big time fighters, they want to cut them because why are we going to pay guys almost six figures or six figures to that point when they win for no entertainment if no one's really watching? Because all the UFC fights for flyweights were in the prelims or UFC Fight Pass prelims, right, right, right. Joseph Benavidez and Sergio Pettis fought in Chicago. Sergio, obviously, being from Milwaukee super close, they were

on the UFC Fight Pass prelims. Whoever won that fight. And I I say whoever, I mean, Sergio Pettis, if he would have won that fight, he would have fought Demetrius Johnson, but he lost. And they didn't even give Benavidez the championship fight because I think he already lost twice. So that made sense.

But it's like that was a title contender shot for Ellie Sergio and they put on UFC Fight Pass prelims like that's a notable fight, especially for Benavidez, who at the time almost like a 15 plus fight veteran in the UFC and Pettis. Being a Pettis, it's like you already know who he is. You're obviously trying to highlight him, especially for a title. Why is that UFC Fight Pass prelims so? And it never made any sense because like you would get some of the most action from the

flyways. But the bad thing? Is in that matchup's phenomenal, yeah. But the bad thing is small guys are popular in the East because, well, there's just smaller people. Generally in the East, you know, you don't really see big guys. And usually the big guys, if there are any, they're most of the time Co main event, 'cause you never know when they're going to fight again. So they don't want to super promote them because we don't know.

You know, they're probably going to go to the West because they're just more popular over there, but here in in the West. No one cares about small guys. Hell, even in boxing, like people know in a way, but they don't know the guys. He's fighting, but the guys are. He just beat a multiple time champion. But no one knows that because no one promotes here small guys in in the West. So it became that. You'll see. He's like, why are we going to pay so much money?

Cool, you're talented. No offense, but why are we going to pay so much money to these guys when in a sense, no one cares about him? Plus, UFC also never promoted them. DJ being the best champion in its history is phenomenal, but you also need to be promoted by your company, and he never really was. So what's the point of keeping him? So when they when he did The Ultimate Fighter and they were really banking on him losing, he beats Tim Elliott.

It's like, oh fuck, we did a whole show about this. And in a sense, he's still not popular. We're just going to let him go and you know, let him do his own thing. He's already passed his prime. He lost to Cejudo. He didn't want to rematch the poodle because why does he want to win a title for the 12th time? You know some he's already defended 11. So he's like yeah, I'm just go want to see if and see if I really am one of the best fighters in the world and he did phenomenal.

Still even past his prime phenomenal. But the UFC, well, four. I know given I could be horribly wrong. Same thing with the Dustin Ortiz story. But like Brian Moreno, when he got, when he got resigned, he they were like, you know what, we'll sign you, but you're going to make less than the entry level contract just because we don't want to keep this division. We're going to slow that out. You're awesome. You've been super supportive.

You're popular. We're going to keep you around, but we're just going to pay you this. And if things go great, it's a risk that he took and obviously worked phenomenally for him. But you know here I remember there was one time they had 15 UFC flyweights and my friend was ranked #15. I was like, Nah, go fuck yourself. That doesn't count because there's only 15 doesn't mean you're.

The best 15 in the world like. Just so happens only 15 guys in the UFC rankings or somehow always surpassed everyone else, like, you know, so it's it's it's a process. So when it comes to business, it made no sense for them to promote something that wasn't going to be going to be popular on this side of the world. Were you cut after a win? I was cut after a loss. One loss, by the way.

Yeah, you were 111 in the UFC. One-on-one in the UFC, and then I, you know, offered the bump up, 'cause I was a bantamweight champ, I was like, yo, let me, let me bump up. They're like, yeah, no. Really. Not even the opportunity. Not not even even. Even now I remember. And this is this is where this is where I stand my ground, 'cause I'm very strict in my points. And this I'll talk about Mazarov

on this point, too. But I said all the things I said, you know, I was like, yo, man, you know, you guys are treating me unfairly. This, that, whatever the case may be. And in a sense, I got, like, blacklisted. So after my first contract with Brave was up, you know, I was on a winning streak. They're like, oh, hey, you know, my manager's like, hey, you know, UFC, what's up? They're like, yeah, we're not even going to talk about it. We're not interested.

It's like, and I've had other managers tell me they're like, yeah, no, dude, UFC does not like you. I was like, OK, cool. Now that's also because I promoted the truth. I wasn't talking shit. I wasn't. But people look at the truth of talking shit, you know, it's like I point out something, a flaw you did. And even though it's truthful, you take it as your ego comes in super into play. It's like, I get it, you know, but I'm not making stuff up.

So like when maslid, I was going to fight Kamal Uzman with that last fight, he's like, yeah, we're independent contractors, but we can't fight any other promotion. You have our likability, no matter how long we fight for, even when we go to different promotions, this, that, whatever the case may be. And then I was like, yo, if Mazzarov's fighting for the people, that's awesome.

A guy who actually has a name fighting for the people at the time, obviously I'm not as popular and he ends up getting the Kamar Uzman fight for whatever money he made. And then he shut up and I was like Mazzarov dude, dude, that. I mean, I'm happy for you. That's amazing. Shut him up. But like, you got your money, got bought out and you're like, alright, cool. Yeah, cool. And I was like, like, I still respect you. And then what you did.

But it's like, oh man, the yeah, you know, everyone, I guess in a sense has his price. They met his price. But look at Nagano. Nagano has said the same exact thing. And looking now, being in the PFL, now fighting Fury, making millions of dollars, now fighting Anthony Joshua, going to make more. And it's like he's the one that 'cause he's he came up with nothing. I grew up in the ghetto. This guy grew up in a sheet metal house like, you know, third world country ghetto. That's different.

You know, my ghetto's a privilege to them. So he's like, yeah, I had nothing. So if you take all this away from me, I don't care because this is where I came from anyways. And he put his foot down with the UFC, decided to leave. Dana made fun of him and look where he's at now. I'm not saying Dana's like, Oh no, I regret this. Like, Dana don't give a fuck because he's going to make money

everywhere else. But the fact is Nagano and I've personally congratulated him before when we went to Atlanta, when he did the face off of Jon Jones. I'm like, dude, like, thank you, like not for me, but like what you're doing to sport because you're not just entertaining, but you're also trying to change the sport. Kind of McGregor changed the sport too. We're making more money because of Connor, you know?

So it's like these, you know, these small stepping stones these people have done like shifting. Oh, it's phenomenal. 'Cause I want to add, I've seen this dude spar with some of the top 135 pounders in the world, and this is that motherfucker right here, dude. Like the there's a reason that I have him by my side as much as

possible. We were talking about my next opportunity that I can't quite announce publicly yet, but I I want to have him here for the end of my camp if it if everything can possibly work out. And it's because his mind is just crazy and his understanding and his level of the game is just, it's absolutely insane. So to me, the UFC is the ultimate proving ground and that I think that's why everyone becomes such a fan of the sport

of the UFC. So I just want to see him back in there for my own personal interest as a fan. I want to see this motherfucker fight for the title. I've gone with all those guys, all the top flyweights. I mean, you look at Amir Bazi, you know that's not rubbing in his face. But like, I'm the only loss he's ever had and I dominated in that fight very easily to where even after the fight I'm like should have finished them, like the first time I dropped him three times and I walk away.

What? Year was that. 2019 And I literally walk away like I drop him. I was like, like, you can tell I don't care about being in there because at the time I'm like as much as Brave has been phenomenal, me now, it was still still very brand new. So there's no drive for me. I'm like, it's not the UFC. I'm the UFC fighter. I don't, I don't belong here. You know my resume, I'm thinking in my head that stuff being the

drama queen in a sense. And now you see him being #2 you know in the world, possibly fight for he. Was fighting for the title and then he heard it before he got hurt. Yeah, I'm just like. Before he got hurt. One good for you because it makes me look better every time you win. And I'm happy for you, you know. But I'm just like, huh, What if I had that same opportunity? Yeah, like, good for you again, Not at all taken away, but it's like I've gone with the best

flyweights in the world. I've gone with the best bantamweights in the world, hell, even some of the best featherweights in the world. I'm just like, you know, So it does suck that I don't get the opportunity to a certain extent, at least in that Ave. But for me, I was like, you know, man, again, the the kind of hero perspective.

Because I can't have it. Doesn't mean I should take it away from people, You know, man, I might not have what I want to have, but let let me give you every opportunity that I possibly can. And if all if it if it works, amazing. And if it doesn't, hey man, I tried with you. We both fell together. And it's always genuine. Like anytime he's ever helped me, like even if it's just coaching and we're talking about scrambles today, everything, it's always genuine.

It's always on point and it's always literally just to help you. There's no, you know, you see a lot of people do things for incentive or reason or you know, to get clout. This that whatever money like this dude literally doesn't care. He's just does it 'cause he loves the sport and. I I try my best not to rely on people. No matter what, money's going to come and go. I'm a find a way for money. I'll do.

If I fuck Dick pics, only fans, I got to do it, you know, I'll do whatever I need to do to make money. And I know, especially in the sport, like him and I, we always mess around like, where's my money, 'cause I'm always like, I help him. I help a lot of my friends, like we just talked about. I help my uncle not too long

ago. Like I help a lot of people and sometimes I'm like damn that was a I was saying that was a lot you know I'm not at all like hey you should do this for me now or I'm I'm now you have to look up to me because or do certain things and I was like hey man, like you already know I'm trying to help you. If you if you give me back awesome amazing. If you don't like, that's just me being me. After this airs, the Shorty Foundation DMS are going to be going fucking crazy with.

Fighters, Yeah, like I've. I need $10,000. I sponsored a lot of athletes and really he was one of the athletes sponsored and some guys are in UFC now, Chip and Marisco, Dan Argeletta, a lot of other fighters, you know, so. That's like the point of it, right, is to help uplift people so they can get to their get to. I didn't, so I looked at it this way. I didn't have the best role models growing up, but I found really good role models in the gym. My coach is like my father, you

know, It's like my my mentor. My father figures. So because of him and others that I grew up with in this journey, I'm like, man, this kept me out of the streets, gave me opportunity. My brother and father were easily way more athletically talented than I was. Just imagine if they had the opportunity to be like taught like this or had the role models to stay inside the gym. My brother didn't have a role model. My dad at the time was kind of a piece of shit.

My dad for sure didn't have a role model. So the gang was his family you know So what if they had the opportunity. So I help people and and to me I end up almost crying when so I fought in Colombia when I've won my world championship for Brave that the second fight of the night one of my sponsor athletes fought I sponsored him. He's a kid from Peru sheet metal house. Like he lives in a concrete house. It's like and he was recommended to me by a friend.

I don't help good athletes. I help good people. If I hear you give him back and like kind of paint it forward, I'm like, you know, man, let me pay forward back. You know you don't, you know you need to give me return. I just want to incentivize you for everything you've been doing well for people. Keep on doing it, keep on being you. Because now hopefully one day you follow my path and want to do the same thing in return, help somebody else, another Shorty out and then goes from

there. And so I helped him for like two or three amateur fights and one pro fight. And then eventually I was going to find Colombia. He's from Peru. It's right next door. So I was like, you know, man, let me talk to Brave and see if I can get you on the card with me. And they collaborated with the Columbia promotion. And, you know, local promotions don't have as much money. They don't want to pay someone more. So they're like, no offense. We're only hiring Columbian

fighters. We don't want to fly them in, you know, it's more expensive. I was like, how about this? I'll, I'll take care of it. Like, I'll, I'll be sick, pay cut, take some pay out of myself and pay this kid. And, like, OK, cool. I flew out there two weeks before the fight. I was like, I'm going to fly you in with me. We're going to stay in a hotel. I'll take care of everything and we'll enjoy, you know, whatever we can. And I'll He's 2122.

So he's a kid. He's really like just committed, you know, trying to change his life and teaching weight cutting, morals, all this stuff and just anything I could possibly teach him. Big Brother. And then fight day comes, you know, he makes weight, all that stuff. Fight day comes and he fights. He gets dropped in the first round and I'm like Oh my gosh, like oh And then he comes back in the second round and knocks this kid out and I'm just like Oh my God, like I'm almost

crying. And then he's you know, telling me or he's doing the interview and he's saying like Oh my God, thank you so much Shorty Torres Foundation, this, that, whatever. And I'm just like and then I had to go back and change and fight like 4 fights later and they're all knockouts. So it's like you got to fight you know? So I'm like oh shit, I got to warm up, you know. And then I go out there and fight. I win.

We both semi celebrate together because we left and then his mom sends me a message the next day when he made it back home. She goes, like, crying. So guys want to say, I appreciate you this day. Like, you really helped give my son an opportunity. I was like, that's fucking awesome. Like that makes me feel good, you know, Like I'm not looking for anything that emotionally makes me feel good. That's what I want. Money material. I don't give a fuck.

I'll, I will take care of me, the emotional stuff. So if anybody's going to give me gifts, like make it emotional, that's what I enjoy. I'll buy myself a car. I'll buy myself all this stuff. I'll figure out a way. But the crazy thing and I got this passed down. Donald Cerrone took thirty people out one day to eat. We all went to a Bar and Grill, and at the time, I'm still 1 and O2 and OI don't have money, you know, And I'm just like looking

at every single price. I'm like, man, oh Jesus, this is a nice, like place, you know? And so I was like, fuck, you know, I'm going to. Get the side side. Yeah, I was like, let me get the chicken, you know, because I don't want to spend anything. And so I eat. I'm super, you know, I got a minimal right now. Now, I don't know, at the end of the night and this is all the drinks, everything ends up being like 3004 thousand dollars total. You know, I was like, hey, I'll

take my my check separately. I'm not at all part of this shit. And cerrone's like, oh, I got it. And I'm like he's like, oh, I'm paying for everybody. Everything's already paid for. I'm like, that's fucking awesome. I hope one day to be able to do that because that's cool because it's a lot of like young fighters that like look up to him and it just, you know, incentivizes you more to keep on going. And also hopefully one day be

like him. Not just an entertaining fighter, but just a genuine dude. And I'm like, that's fucking awesome. Years later take this kid to Columbia and we go to this Italian restaurant there I want to carve up and the the the chef comes out and he's like, oh you're you know you'll see fighter blah, blah, blah, Oh yeah, whatever. Yeah. And they're like how about this you have 10 people here. We'll do a family style. I was like OK, but everyone can just pick and you know grab.

This kid is looking at the menu and I'm like, you look so nervous. What do you. He's like, I see the prices. This is so expensive. I'm in Columbia. I don't know if you know the difference in pesos there, but I'm fucking rich. Yeah, I was like, she was loaded And so I was like, oh, this is great. And so we go, I was like, don't worry, don't like that. I got it. He goes, Are you sure? I was like, order, whatever you, you know, fuck this. I'm do a family style.

Order family style. And he's looking at this food and it's a gigantic table dude. I've never seen this kid so shocked. He's looking at food. Like it just kept coming in. That's where I was even like, oh man, we ordered way too much, you know, And he's like, and he looks at me, I was like, what's up? He's like, I've never seen so much food in my life before. Like, he's poor, poor, you know, I'm just like, oh man, enjoy it. And so he eats and he's sitting next to me.

So he sees everything I I'm looking at. And so I pull out my card. I get the the check and do this. And he looks at me, he's like, oh, like he starts, He's like, oh, I'll do whatever you need. You know this day you said you just, you got to write like I'll, I'll, I'll figure stuff out. I'm like, relax. Like I I got you, man. I was like, don't. Luckily it's it's in pesos, so Oh my gosh, thank you. Yo kid thought it was in dollars all the.

Time. Yeah, I was, I was like for for it ended up being like 700 bucks for 10 people for like a almost four-star Italian style dinner, family style. That's fucking phenomenal, you know, plus drinks, all this stuff. So I'm like Columbia, I love you, you know, I gotta go back. But I was like, dude then, but to him vessels in Peru, I think Colombian, Colombian vessels worth more. But I was just like, don't worry

man, I got you. And I hope one day you can do the same, because it reminded me of the story of Dallas Roni, where I he ended up doing the same. You told him the story or wow. Yeah, and I was just like, so I did it. So hopefully you can do too one day. Well, thanks for the Denny's last night, buddy. Yeah. And I I bought Denny's. Yeah. And I introduced him to an amazing woman. It was great, amazing something. Amazing something. And you'll Grand Slam her one day. But. No, it might.

She might Grand Slam him. Oh wait, me. It's one of those. Oh oh, I forgot about that. I forgot about that. Oh my God, you get tricked. Yes, technically. Kind of. Technically, that didn't happen. Kind of, sort of, not really. But kind of Sort of like, actually a hilarious. But you knew it was what it was, and you were. Going no, no, no, no, no. So here's what happened. Here's what we'll just tell the story.

Fuck it. So we had a We had our two friends with us. I'm not going to name any names, but we had we had a couple friends with us and. Shout out. They're they're also professional fighters and they are not where either of us are in our career yet. And we were joking around because he was with the girl. One of our other friends with the girl and me and the other dude were just sitting back and we started. We're just talking shit. We're you know we're like giving them jealous shit.

We're like they probably you know gave head to some dude earlier. You guys fucking made out with them. That's all you got. Ha ha ha. Like and we were just going back and forth. Everything's pretty light. And then I made a little joke because one of the dudes doesn't have a professional win yet. And because and the other guy did, and they were kind of going back and forth a little bit and I was like, you should have told him you don't. Even have a win, dude. Ego came into place.

Super long argument. Dude. And there was a really intense argument. It got really deep and it got really like really really personal and and it got. I talk shit a lot. So, like, we're just like, oh, that's a good joke, but fuck you. But we can. Separate it though we can, we can, we can really dig at each

other. It really got serious and heated for a second and not like to where they were going to fight or anything but like it got it got real and and also you know good friends will hold you accountable and so that's why it got real, it got back. And forth. So yeah, it got a little back and forth.

And then as we're leaving this group of chicks sit behind us and like, we're just trying to get our one friend out of there because he's yelling at the table and the waitress is like, hey, do you guys need more coffee? Like what's going on over there? We're like, oh, we're good, don't worry, we got this. And so he walks out, he pays, he comes back, he's kind of waiting for all of us to get up and we're kind of looking at each other like, OK, we got to get

the fuck out of here. So the one dude who's really mad, he kind of storms out, go to, goes to the car, he's waiting. Shorty makes eye contact with a group of group of nice ladies. We're on a little bit of a hot. We've been on like. Yesterday, it was a fucking day for. Me, bro, we've been on like a fucking like 6 to 8 month hot. Streak I was. I was flirting my ass off yesterday. Just random people, like making people smile, having a good

time. And then I see this group of ladies and so I was like, oh fuck it, let me talk to him. Not even the track. To them. I was like, oh whatever. But there's one that stood off in the bunch. And so we start talking just all in general, have a good time. And then slowly the guys are like, we're the fuck Shorty come back and they start, you know, we all start mingling in a sense.

And there was one girl that was just like, oh, you should follow me on Instagram. And I was like, oh, here's my sticker, like you'd follow me and I'll follow me back. And that's my trade off. And he's like, oh fuck it, you know, gives the phone over and she's like, oh, you know, puts it in and, you know, gives it back. And I was like, yeah, you don't fuck it, you know. Here, give me, give me your Instagram. I was like, yeah, fuck that competition, let's go.

And so take the Instagram. I'm like, alright, cool. Yeah. And we leave. That's like our real competition. Yeah, it really is. And so don't mess with my darkness though, but. So it's funny, 'cause we're talking about a specific person. I'll take her, bro. Don't fucking play with me. Fuck you up. Oh fuck you. Up there goes all your opportunities. Fucking take her, bro. This is all we do all day is talk shit to each other even before practice. It's great it even during.

Practice, yeah. And so we leave and he goes into the truck. I was the designated driver and so we got the two buddies in the car and he's in the other car and he's in his car about to go. Right next to. Each other, Yeah, Yeah. So I he's like, pissed. The other dude's, like, still pissed from the conversation. And I I sit down and he's like, dude, what the fuck took so long? Like, let's go, man.

I'm ready to fucking go home. And I'm like, dude, you know, we were just talking to some chicks. Chill out. No, no big deal. Look, I got this girl's Instagram and he looks at it and he's like, I'm like, I can't even say the name. And then he's like her. He's like, dude, that's a dude that's a trans guy. Like that's a trans woman. I matched the term blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, no, no. And our other friend's like,

dude, I I I thought so too. And I was like, no, I rolled down the window and I'm like, hey Shorty, guess what? And he like looks I. Was I was coincidentally looking at the profile? I was like, oh man, look at this photo. It's not a bad photo. And then? And then yeah, the other dude, the the pissed off guy, he's now cracking up and he's like, that's a fucking dude. That's a fucking dude. Like, yelling at us. It was. Just like, Oh yeah. Oh, I'm follow.

Yeah, he just kept that going. I was like, alright. I was like, have fun, Josh. But legitimately, like, got past the goalie? You guys didn't notice at all? No. Well, she had, like, big fake takes. Things like, not actually. Pretty like. So we're like, OK, yeah, obviously we're going to, we're not going to be like, hey, you a dude, just just want to make sure it was like, no, you know, so we just. I really didn't even think about it. And then, yeah, and until we

got. Out the prettiest one out of the that's what. Was crazy, yes, the other one, Absolutely. And. Because of the obnoxiously fake breasts. Like, Oh well, we got to talk to you. And she was naturally flirty. So, like, Oh yeah, whatever. And then what? He said that was like, Oh yeah, you know, that kind of makes sense there. Whatever. Not even chance. It. Nope. Go on by my day. That's it. Do you think she would have ever? Or he would she? Whatever way I'm supposed to say

it? Do you think that person? Horrible. Would have politically correct she. Politically correct. Do you think she would have waited so like the race started, to reveal? No, no. I feel that inevitably she would have said something. That's probably why she gave you the our. Friend had told us that you couldn't tell on Instagram. I definitely cannot tell. I already unfollowed and you have to request the follow otherwise I'd show you but

fucking the dude said. Or Buddy said that that she she had shit. Out of him. Gave it to him. Good. I'm like, I was like, dude, why are you wearing? I was like, girl, why are you wearing a cup? No, he he said that she had told him once they'd started chatting on Bumble or whatever. Hey, you know, this is the deal. Blah blah blah blah. And he was like, oh. Never mind, yeah. That's kind of messed up though,

right? I mean, not really you just you have a preference and that's not his preference, yeah. No, not that. No, but like her, Yeah. I don't think she was misleading, though. I think that is. I think that's more of her being who she is or whatever the case is. I think that she's just trying to live her best life and we're just horny fucking bastards. And Denny's at 4:00 AM. 'Cause it kind of falls like the responsibility falls on you for liking what you like, kind of thing.

Kind of, you know, But it's also a responsibility just to be real with people. And, you know, honestly, it was just a start. So obviously she's not gonna be like, hey, just let you know the guy, you know, It's like, you know, whatever the case may be. So it's like you don't just start a conversation with that. So let's let's figure this out and then go from there, you know? But I mean, inevitably, you're gonna have to tell him.

If for some reason in my head though it's like really unrealistic when you said it out loud, but in my head seems like that's what I would want. Oh, I mean, for sure. I mean we want a lot of things. Obviously people don't think the same way we do. But you know, the at the end of the day, like I'm on Hinge, I'm just going through and then you're like, oh, and it'll say on there like male, female,

trans, stuff like that. And it's like, hopefully you are honest enough to, you know, meet a person or a person that's honest enough to say what they are and just kind of go from there. Or even again, hey, you can say you're a female, but let's be real with me at least, you know. So I'm not into that situation. It's not that I'm against that. That's not my taste preference. That's all it is. So be real with me and I'll be real with you like. Chocolate, baby. I love chocolate.

I have a really funny story my my dad told me one time. It was like, obviously everything's very open and you know, it's all, it's all everything's different nowadays. But my dad had told me that he had a friend who was making out with this chick all night at the bar. And then they like go out to the car and they're messing around, whatever. And he like feels down, like obviously it's a Dick and he's like, what the fuck?

You're a dude. And apparently, like, I don't know how true this is, but apparently the girl, like, gets out, you know, and she's like, fuck you. He's like in his car and like picks up a big ass rock and just throws it through his windshield like a fucking dude. He's like, fuck you, Boom, throws a fucking like big ass rock through the windshield and like, dips out and they're all just fucking just joining them for years.

That's hilarious. Yes. Is it the first time it's ever happened to you? I think I mean like that far. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know. I mean, I think, like, I don't know if you're. You're with your son's mother. Yeah. So yeah, you don't know if you've been on dating apps before or whatever, but I think I have. I I think out here, you know, it's like very kind. Like, it's not everywhere else. Like where I'm from in Saint Louis, like, you're not gonna

see. You don't really have to check the profiles and like, really look at them. You're just like so. What you're saying is it's very, it's much more common. There's a lot. There's actually hot trends out here, no. No, no, no, no. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that. Sounds like no, no. That's not what I'm saying. No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying they're. Hotter out here. No, no, I'm saying that it's much more common out here.

It's so much it like, and if you're not like, like, I'll just go on streaks where I'm just like, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right. You know what I mean? And so you'll just catch some matches and you're like, oh, hey, who's this? And then, you know, you're like, oh, I didn't realize I just swiped. So no, that's why I'm not on Tinder. Anymore. Lies. Blasphemy. Motherfuckers on Hinge. Bumble. Fucking bumble. What is it?

What's the country one? Farmers only? Farmers only? He's on it all, bro. No, man, I'm just unhinged. I like actual relations and like I like vibing with people. He does. He loves love and affection. That's what he always said. People are like, we'll be at restaurants, they'll be like, oh, do you guys need anything? He'll be like love and affection or do. You have any love and affection back there and they're like, they'll just start laughing.

I was like, you know, but like, for example, when I tore my MCO, I'm on a like a a sling or a cast on my on my knee for two weeks. I can't sleep on my back. I'm, you know drugging up an Oxycontin and like medical marijuana pills just to pass out and fall asleep or just chill. And my manager would come in and like change my empty out my piss canteen and stuff like that. He's like, hey, you need anything? I was like, no, just love and

affection. And he's like, go fuck yourself Shorty. Thanks. But that's, I don't know that's just what I thrive off of. Like we we went to the place yesterday and I was literally once I kind of hooked up with this girl like her and I were just hugging for. Like. Fucking amazing. Like cuddle sessions of this shift for if you have a great energy and just a great vibe. Again, for me, since I'm since I'm such a pleaser, if I don't vibe with you, I don't care how sexy you are, I'm going to be

very disappointed. But I don't care how sex you are. I'm just, I'm not attracted to you anymore. It's not that you're ugly, it's not attracted to me anymore. So it is what it is. Good luck. You do your thing, you know? So I need to vibe with somebody for me to want to please someone and also for them to be able to like kind of give me or let let me give them that space to like even touch me because I'm such a physical touch guy. So yeah.

So I want to date back to Brave real quick, because it is odd how you're kind of outcasted from the UFC and then you went on a long run with Brave, right? Like you didn't lose for what, five years? Yeah, it's yeah, I didn't lose for five years. I just lost my last one and you know, I'm hoping get a trilogy fight with this guy. But yeah, man, it was. It's yeah, I've had a very fortunate career, if you want to. Say what did you notice in the competition difference?

It's scarier. You got to think about it. I for me, and I say this in my last opponent and even if I did get the trilogy fight, there's no win for me. Resume wise. He at the time I believe was six and two. At the time 12, one and one. So resume wise, paper wise, I'm supposed to win. If I beat him, it doesn't look good. If somebody goes on tapology and just looks up myself, it's like, oh, he beat a guy who had seven or eight fights but he already

had 14 or 15, you know? So it's like, doesn't make sense, or at least you look at the States. We're so big on names at the time, no one knew who Amira Bazzi was, but he was 12 and O when I fought him. Like that's he had a better record than me. That's some scary stuff. I'm like whatever. And then I fight him and in the second round he takes my back. I'm like, yo, I can't get this guy off my back and he wins a second round. So I'm like, what the, what the

fuck? This guy is good and look at him now in the UFC. Look at Kazmat Chamayev. He started in Brave. You know gets a couple knockouts. Didn't get a title shot yet and now he's in the UFC. Top, you know three top five in the world. Ilian Tempora now fighting for, you know the the championship. He never got to a title shot in Brave. You know it's like these guys are dangerous. They just have no name. You look at boxing. I use this as a prime example.

No one knew Manny Pacquiao. He came in on a two week notice, dominates a world champion. Pacquiao was already a world champion in the East, but now he beats an African champion, beats him and now he's fighting Barrera and rallies and all these guys like Oh my gosh, this Filipino that we don't know about in order to respect the country, in boxing at least. And now he's making the name for boxing in the Philippines.

You look at Triple G, cared about Kazakhstani fighters because you know this guys already passed his prime when he comes into the states. Even when he fights Canelo and he was on like a 29. Oh no, excuse me, 19 or 20 knockout streak. Yeah, before he fights Canelo or I can't remember the guys named tall Guy, but it's like, yo, this guy's knocking people out. There's good fighters in Kazakhstan and then people start focusing on Kazakhstan fighters, you know? Look at Bevo.

I don't know if he's from Kazakhstan, but part of the east. Yeah, that region. And it's like, yo, these people were coming through. Or even Lomachenko. Lomachenko, obviously two time Olympic champ, all that stuff, but no one knew who he was. You know, in a way no one knew who he was. Now, you know, coming over to the to the West and they're just dominating. So would you say they're on par, at least the top of Brave? Would you say they're on par

with the talent of the UFC? When you look at the top of Brave, those guys weren't even champions and they're top three or top five in UFC. Just imagine if they had a little more time in their career. Maybe, maybe they could have been champions of Brave. But you know, they go to the UFC and just dominate all of them. They dominate, so it's like they didn't have as easy to run as they did in in Brave as they do now in the UFC.

And Brave is based out of. So it's based out of Middle East Bahrain which is a very small country that's like they're the most global promotion in the world. They've gone to 30 plus countries, UF CS gone to like 12. What a who? Who's backing? Like what? What makes a brave like who runs?

Brave. So the man who owns it or who started it was one of the Princess Sheikh Khalid bin Hamad Khalifa. So His Highness decided to make a promotion after the team that I was in KHK with like Khabib Nammagomedov Islamakachev, Frankie Edgar and a bunch of other people. And I was fortunate to be on that team. And he's like, you know what? I want to create a promotion and I end up commentating the very first event. I was like, yo, this is dope.

This is cool. For your first event, I didn't think it was going to go anywhere. I was like oh maybe it's a one time thing and see where it goes because running a promotion is extremely difficult. Then they found a really good you know, president to run it. Muhammad Shahid who was part of our team, another fighter and man do you look at years later, 30 plus countries collaborating with so many other you know, places collaborating with the.

I'm off as well having World Championships there and just giving names to people in regions that aren't really heard of. It's Emporo, Cosma, Amir, Abbasi, all these guys, again, because they're from certain countries, doesn't mean there's not any talent there that they just haven't been showcased yet. You have amazingly talented people in in the States, but we're very saturated market. You go to Iraq, they're like, yo, these people are talented

too. You know, Russia or obviously all the Dagasani's coming in. You look at that now, it's like, holy shit, like there's a bunch of people. They're just not known. I mean, you should give them ATV, you know, Showcase Brave has been allowed or has allowed them to do that. These people just found, I wouldn't say better opportunity, but for them personally, more of an opportunity to go somewhere else like the UFC, because that's the most popular promotion in the world, you

know? Yeah, I mean even look at I was going to say in COSI is a perfect example. You know, no one like you said no one know him. But like I like I said, I've seen this dude spar with people everyone knows and is a fan of, and he fucking dominate. And then obviously has had two really hard fucking fights with this kid who's had what he's on his coming into his ninth pro fight. 6 feet tall at 1:35. Yeah, it's a tough match. You know, and and he's on the side basically for me.

But yeah, so I have a Mexican fighter who I'm going to UFC Mexico with the help and lazy boy, and he comes from nothing as well. And Mexican poor is obviously less than, you know, American poor, you know. And then he's, we're looking at videos of Ankosi and he's like, he's looking at me, he's saying in Spanish, he's like, yo, this this guy's dangerous. Like, I'm afraid for you. I don't care what his record is like. He's trying to change his life through you.

So be careful. And the last camp, especially the last camp with the last two, I would say you were a little more laxed in the feeling of like, I'm going to beat him. My skills are here, his skills are here and technical on a technical basis, your skills are here and his are here. But that hunger, that drive, the four ounce gloves, the bare shins, it's fucking raw, man. That, that fucking drive that

can take you anywhere. Like Lazy Boy's a great example of, like, maybe not as technically refined as he will be whenever he gets older and starts to enter his prime, but the kid is fucking like you see flashes of greatness. Even whenever he's boxing sparring, whenever he's MMA sparring and you know he's going to be a fucking superstar, You know he's going to be great. And that's what makes him so dangerous. Like him and I, every time we see each other, huge language barrier.

I don't speak much Spanish, she doesn't speak much English. But we're we're super tight. The only whenever we get done training, we look at each other and we just say 50 GS baby, 50 GS, 'cause that's all. That's all we got to say, 'cause we know we're both very hungry to change our lives and change our family's lives and put ourselves in this position. So and we see each other working at a, you know, and and really pushing, trying to push the best guys in the room.

It's, it's the way that's why champions fall. You know, it's like, oh, your goal is to be a champion And then after a while it's like, OK, cool, I'm champion. What? What do I do now? Do you want to defend it? Is that really a goal for you? Or you're like, ah, we'll see if I defend it, how many times and then kind of go from there. When you lose, I can tell you at least from me. And it's not at all. I'm just been very fortunate in my career. I've won a lot. I'm very happy.

I've only lost three times out of 41 fights. I've done pretty well for myself in the 14 years that I've been pro, or at least fighting. But the fact is that whole camp, at least my last one, I just lost my last fight. I was like, man, I'm tired. I can't wait to, you know, beat this guy up and go home. And then I'm just getting stitched up and literally leaving the medical office. And I feel fine. It's just the cuts.

I couldn't see. I'm just like, dude, I can't wait to go home and start training, you know, 'cause that that that kick in the ass, that fire's back, I was like, oh man, I haven't felt this for a while. This is great, you know? So it's everyone's drive is very different. You know for me it's not at all about claiming belts. It's more just kind of showing how good I am, not just to the world but also to myself improving it.

But it's that little fire for whatever reason, for other people, you know it's everyone has a a push you know lazy boy I believe is going to have his second kid soon. So I know for him he's like I need to do this. I need to win. I need to fight. I need to change my my family's life. Give him opportunity to do what Brandon Moreno did, somebody he looks up to, you know, that he trains with as well, you know. So it's like that's thing and I'm sure you have your drive.

I have my now my drive now too, personally. So it's everyone's very different and it all depends on what goals you want to set out and what goals are the ones you really want to set out for. I made it to state in high school wrestling. I was like, all I want to do is make the state. I made the state and I'm just like, well fuck, what do I do now? And then I lose by one point in my first match and it's a piggyback so that that guy loses, you're out.

And sadly he lost by 1.2 and I was out. So I never got to redeem myself, but I was like, damn, I could have won. Like I got to beat that guy. And same thing when I made it as All American. I was like, man, I could have placed higher. And everyone's like, what number do you want to place? I'm like, well, I just want to make it to nationals, you know? And then I'm there. I was like, oh shit, I'm actually a lot better than I thought.

So it's whatever belief you have in yourself and then whatever realistic goal you set for yourself. And then I say two things, make a realistic goal and make a dream goal because you're more than likely going to hit this. It's realistic. You know, if you work for it, eventually if you know you keep walking, you're going to hit the three miles whatever the case may be. But this is the the dream goal. It's not unattainable. It's just you actually going, oh fuck, I'm I'm better than what I

actually thought. So I always say make two goals realistic. One that you know you can't hit. It's just going to take work and effort And then that fucking dream goal, fuck, I want to make it to the UFC and dream goal.

I want to be top five or I want to be champion or I want to, whatever the case may be. Last couple of things before I get you guys out of here, being out in the Middle East where it is, what's the backing like money wise because that's out by like Qatar and everything, right? Like and phenomenal. It's they have so much money. I mean look at the Nagano Joshua fight. It's going to be in Saudi. You look at Brave, the most global promotion in the world in only seven years.

You know, like that's a lot of money for promotions to do. And they're like, yeah, we got back in, we're good, you know? So at least in the Middle East, they focus on other things. So where they save so much money and that ridiculous amount of money that they're just like we can do whatever we want. Now it's kind of like only fans where they're like, we made so much money, let's just start throwing money out there and put

our name on people's shorts. Right now we're only going to make more money, so. How does it compare Braves pay compared to the UF CS pay? For me, I make three times more. Wow. But I also kind of got paid shit by the UFC. So yeah, I'm not saying it's not hard to do, but I also know I'm one of the higher paid athletes, a part of Brave. But I also do a lot as well. On that notoriety creates more opportunity. Notoriety pretty much on the sport.

Also one of the only Americans in the promotion and I I do a lot for them. In return, you'll commentate and stuff like that. So I'm like the Staple Boy in the States for for Brave, but they they pay me extremely well and I can tell you a foreign for Brave for a lot of things. I once have been able to pay for certain things to my family or even personal things that I'm I'm happy to say I have. Denny's last night. Denny's last night, you know, So yeah. Do I mean, obviously you said

you have. It's really important for you to show that what you are and being the best. Do you ever worry about getting back to the UFC? It's it's I I look at it as my last relationship. I when I had those three things in my head, you know, getting cut from the UFC, losing my father and the last relationship. Even though hope is a very good thing, I had to kill hope for all three things that pursue

anything else in my life. Because it it's like, it's like, hey, I'm going to work on everything for you. But I'm with you right now and I'm going to give you everything for the most part. But then no matter what you do when this comes back Deuces, I appreciate everything done for me. It's none personal. I I just wanted this. But then you feel like shit and then you also don't get everything because I'm kind of saving it really for this you know.

So when it comes to my goals and when it comes to the main purpose is that in my head has immensely died to me years ago. If it comes back we got to figure some self out you know. But I'm not at all prepared if if the UFC calls and go hey man, we want you to fight fuck $1,000,000 million dollars whatever the case may be. I'm like, all right, really think about this, 'cause I'm not a material person, we're like, again, the money, obviously, yes, you know, everyone has a

price. Maybe one day I'm like, ah, yeah, well, million, million, sure. But the fact is, it's also the respect. Are you There's that trauma of, like, are you bringing me in to win and maybe showcase me like I was hoping? Or you're bringing me in to get beat up to make a point. Prove a point. And I I don't, I don't want that, you know, so it's kind of like going back back to a traumatic relationship. Do you go back to the person who cheated on you? Do you forgive it?

And if you did, how do you, how do you maneuver around it When you go back? How do you not think about that situation again and again and again, you know, related to the certain, you know, whatever things. So for me, if the UFC calls, UFC calls, we figure stuff out from there and and that's why I have my team, so I can logically express it to them and figure stuff out. You know, I look at everything like my father. No matter what I do, no matter how much I heal, he's gone

forever. Nothing I can do about it. So I look at it that way. In Palatia was gone forever and so is the UFC. I'm cut that off mentally that there is no hope for that. Keep on pursuing things and if somehow the world brings us all back together, perfect, I'm not going to complain. And if it doesn't, never expect it in the 1st place. It's. Beautiful. You know, so I'll try. We're lucky. I got a great friend. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, and and mentor as well.

Coach is like sponsor everything, you know. And so he's definitely a special relationship. Yeah, he takes care of me for sure, but he'll, you know, I think that. I think he's a big, he's going to be a big part of my success and it gives me a lot of confidence to see what he puts back into me and to hear like him say things like the other day he said something like he's like, oh blah blah, future UFC champ. And I was like, it like, surprised me.

I'm like, what the fuck? You're just always talking shit to me and telling me I suck. Like every. Once in a while you think that. You do think that I might be able to do that, 'cause I think that, but, like, I kind of didn't think you thought that. And then, you know, it's just, it's just like and even just seeing his level and like and seeing what he does with his life, like to even see him like take out the time, you know, it's a big confidence booster

for me as well. Who's the best 135 LB Fighter in the world? Apache, Apache Mix, yeah. Yeah, I think Patchy beat Sean. I I ended up saying in a Sunday question day because I, you know, I trained with patchy. I train with all these people. I've trained with everyone in that Bellator Grand Prix tournament and I would love to fight every one of those guys because it's just the honor and respect because there's just really good fighters and somebody's like how would you do Apache?

And I'm very honest Sunday question day, like I have fun with it. I have answered some very raunchy questions. But with that question came about I'm like, if I we fought 10 times, I would maybe, and that's a maybe hard maybe that I'd win 3 because practice us is very different than, you know, under the lights. But he's, I know I'm a different person, but he's just a very, very scary individual when he gets under the lights.

And I know I have my strengths against him as he does against me, but I think his strengths override what I'm able to offer at this point in my career. And he's just growing and I think and him and I train a lot, like he's extremely talented and that's him being nice and obviously back, you know, vice versa in certain areas. But I think maybe I would win three fights. I could be, you know, putting myself down a little bit, but. I think he's putting himself

down a little bit. But he's, he's a very, very good fighter. Now stylistically, I know how to beat him, but if it was just me not training with them, like, all right, cool, let's go in there and see, you know, it's tough. Like, he's a very, very hard person to fight against. Can I say what happened before

the root fiance Stotts fight? So like Patchy landed the exact same knee on him before he landed that fight against Stotts and it fucking dropped him and I don't even know where I was going with that but it just, it's yeah, yeah. He was still awake. Yeah. It was funny because I I told him I was like, hey, man, you should throw your knees more. Yeah. And I was like, fuck, why'd you listen? Not on me. He he he also told me he's like, hey, I think shots going to shoot.

So if you don't mind, like, shoot a little bit. And it was just me as a bad setup shot. And I shot a little too far, didn't I? All I remember was going in running into a knee And then just like, I don't remember the fall. I just remember hitting my butt. It was like one of those flash Kales we like. And he's like running up to me. He's like, oh, you OK? I was like, I'm fine. Yeah, yeah, I'm good. And then we just kept sparring. But I was like, good fucking knee.

And then literally a month later he lands the same knee. I'm like, dude, fuck yeah. What was that like for you to watch that back in real time? The hardest part is like, I've trained with all those guys. Like, I'm good friends with Raffia and I'm good friends with surgery. I'm good friends with, you know, Danny, Saboteur, all these guys that, you know, they all might fight against Juan Enchilada.

I'm just like, it sucks seeing friends fight, you know, 'cause I try to just be as neutral as possible. But when also you train with somebody and in a sense you won't say you dumbed down yourself, but you know, you take some askings for them, get the confidence up, help him out, whatever the case may be, and he goes in there and does the same moves or moves he was doing on you. It's like, yo, I'm, I'm not going to lie, I'm going to take

a little bit of credit for that. And it's awesome to see that. I see how hard he works and everyone else I'm trained with. So it's like, dude, good, good for you because I see the pains you go through. I see the adversity I see or even I've had my my better days against them and I'm like and he's he's struggling mentally or whatever the case may be and now he's $1,000,000 champion like fuck yeah man, good for you. And not only is he super skilled, but he's one of the

hardest workers in the room. One of the coolest, most humble dudes on a break. No, he's one of the coolest, most humble dudes in the room. We'll talk to anybody at any time about anything. So you know, that's another one of those things just to pick up and learn from those guys as well you you like. There's a reason that he's there and he's at that level and that we're saying that he's the best 135 pounder in the world. Yeah, it was actually shocking.

I was fishing. I thought you were gonna say you. So where do you honestly rank yourself? Oh, he's right there. I I don't know. I really don't. Are are you higher level at 1:25 or 1:35 in your opinion? I for sure I mean. I could. I just don't want to. I for sure would be one of the better ones, if not the best, the best one at flyweight. And this is not a jab towards, you know, the the Champions.

I've done extremely well against Marino, I've done extremely well against Pantoja. I've done obviously well realistically with Amir Abbasi. But you know, sometimes we have our days. Maybe it was just my day against Amir Abbasi. As Alex Press said, with me he goes, man, I was just a better man that day. It's like maybe we fought 9 more times. He'd won every single fight, you know.

So the fact is I believe I'm 100% the best flyweight and if I had to make the weight, obviously if the money was correct, perfect. Let's do it because that's a full time camp type of thing. But at bantamweight, it's a little harder just because I am naturally smaller. But I'm nowhere near less than top 10, for sure.

And even honestly, probably like top seven I. Was going to say top five, Yeah. Just because I know stylistically what Ioffer and I was one of the first full rounded MMA fighters when I actually want to be full rounded that I can perform, You know, I'm not a Algeo where it's like you will end up on the ground, you're screwed. It's like no man, you end up on the ground, you're screwed. But if you also starting to feat with me, it's going to be very

bad, you know. So it's it's a give and take. You know, even my last opponents, like he's taking a beating. Even when I finally do lose, you know, he's walking away. Like, damn, that was a really hard fight and I might have to fight him a third time. Fuck, you know. So it's it's a process. That's why I say even if you lose, you're going to respect me because you're you're going to, you're going to somehow go home with some type of pain of like, damn, that was crazy.

Well, I think you earned honestly everybody's respect. I mean, you went to the distance and almost won the belt from Israel to Sanya. Like, not a lot of people fought Izzy like that. It's. A process. I just want to say, when I made it to UFCI took a picture of Gaslum. It was fucking awesome, but it was me, me, Gaslum, and Nasrat. They ended up making like a Pokémon photo as like as I'm a Charmander, Nasrat, Charizard. And I remember looking at it on Twitter. I was like, that's fucking.

Funny. And then whenever we met, Gaston Bolanos. You guys there just look at each other like, are we cousins? Yeah. And you're part of the family. He's such a serious guy. And I'm like, you know, taking the photos, it was it was funny. What's coming up for you guys in 2024? What can everybody look forward to? I'm. Trying not to die. Tomorrow, hopefully, Are we going to get that trilogy fight well? We'll see.

I'm just trying to you know heal up and and you know get as, as prepared as I possibly can be. Right now I'm focused on Lazy Boy and and helping him for his camp, helping him when I'm around as well because after this I'll be here until next Sunday, go to Mexico for a month, come back, might be overseas doing some other stuff. So I'm just trying to game plan some things. But for me honestly I'm I want to look at stuff outside of fighting.

I'm trying to buy a house. I'm trying to buy an apartment complex. I'm trying to do stuff outside of fighting to where if I still happen to get hurt or, you know this tells me I can't fight anymore, then I have some money outside of it and then be on TV more compensating. Maybe you start putting Dick pics up again and start, you know, having fun. Yeah, I would be upset if he didn't get the trilogy fight, personally, Unless.

I'm. Sure gonna say if you didn't get a Dick pic like dude, don't worry, you're gonna get I. See you in the shower all the time. I don't need the picture, it's mentally burnt in. But no, if he doesn't get the trilogy fight I would be really upset unless in Cos he got signed to the UFC or whatever. Then it's just like, oh whatever, that's. Another reason why I want this fight as soon as would. That piss you off? No, man, because it's

opportunity. Business. Like, I get it. I would, it would be like, fuck I. Mean you wouldn't be mad at him, but would you find some type of way towards the UFC? No, no. It'd be funny if UFC did that on purpose. Like, yeah, we're just going to sign him. Just like, rub it in Shorty's face. But if he makes it to UFC, I'll be like, hey man, you beat me, you deserve to be in UFC. Personally though, I would be upset with that because the

first fight he knows how I feel. I thought in Cosi won the decision. Not like I fucking love this dude, but I'm just. Fucking real shit. And I thought that's really like like, I thought. I thought that it was edge three to two his and like whenever the decision came up and like fuck, like I know how much time he put in like the fucking movie on stops thing. It was a hard ass fucking camp we put so much work in and fucking dude slept on a mattress on my living room floor like he

doesn't need to fucking do that. But he chose to fucking put himself in the fire and do whatever he needed to do for that win. So I was like, fuck, man, but then he gets the nod, obviously. I'm fucking super happy about that. They give oh boy, the rematch and he was on his way. I don't care what anyone says. He was on his way to fucking finish that kid. He we had game plan perfectly. We had dieted perfectly. We had fucking we. We trained harder than anybody

in the fucking gym. The last fight was just my ego coming into play. And I I mean, I had fun like 100% have fun in that fight where I'm like, oh, these shots don't really hurt. I'm having a great time. And then I get cut and it starts bleeding and I'm like, OK, shit, I can't see out of my left eye. Like the blood was just all over the place. And I'm like, because it was a good cut, it wasn't like a scratch.

And then I had to turn my head. And because of that, you know, I left myself a little more susceptible, getting hit on my right side. Now I just took an elbow I couldn't see coming from the left side. And so I'm bleeding profusely from both sides. They're just going straight down to my eyes. And I'm like, you ever turn on bad windshield wipers in your car? It just makes it worse.

That's how it was like. I had pictures of me just grabbing my face and trying to take the blood out, like digging my fingers in my eyes to get the blood out. And it just made things worse. There was one point in the fight to where I was like, well, let me shoot in and let me shoot in low so I don't run into a knee. And I was right. I didn't run into a knee, but I felt the wind of it go past my head. But I did not see it. And I remember in my head, I'm like, oh, that could have sucked

you. And then the doctors pull or the ref pull me to the side, looked at my cuts and in my head they're like or outside they're like, hey man, like how you feel? I'm like, well, I feel fine. I just can't see. And I'm saying that I'm like, oh, I can't see. They're looking at the customer like, yeah, let's just wipe his face. That's. Back in there, pissed because it's like, dude that should should have been stopped from the doctor and it should have been immediately booked.

And me, I'm just like in my head. I'm like, fuckers, stop the fight, you know, Because I can't see. Yeah. And they're like, Oh yeah, going in there, I'm like. Yeah, I just pour more damage on. I'm like what? The Yeah. And in my head I'm just like. Because you're not going to quit or throw in a towel at all, but. There came a point in my head to where it's a crazy thing and I talk about ego all the time is my ego got me to that point where I'm beating his ass and doing great. I'm.

I'm not at all worried. But now because I can doesn't mean I should. And at that point I was getting beat up. Technically my I could take it, but apparently my body couldn't take it because my face couldn't and I started bleeding. So my ego obviously got hurt and I was like, holy shit. And obviously I took the second cut. I was like, holy shit, Now I'm my ego's getting desperate. I'm taking shots.

I'm doing dumb shit. And when the ref pulled me to the side and the doctor was like, oh, he can continue, I was like, dude, my ego already lost. There's no reason for me to go out of my shield. If I lose this fight, which right now in my head, I'm already kind of going to lose, let me just accept that you beat me and go for a trilogy. So when I I was like, you know what? Let me give myself a caveat, though. I'm going to give myself one more minute.

And if I don't like the haymaker, whatever the case may be, then you got me. And I remember there were a couple points in in that one minute where I'm like, I do this and you can see and Cosi looking towards the ref and then his corner as well, like, 'cause I his corner knows me very well too. They're all friends and they're like, stop the fight. He can't see clearly, can't see. And then and Cosi's like, looking at the ref, like, you know, and and me, I'm kind of struggling.

I can tell he's, you know, being nice with me a little bit. I'm just like, you got me, man. Like there's there's no point for me to take it any extra damage. I'm 31, I've already taken a toll on my body, naturally after all these fights. Let me, you know, build up and hopefully, you know, get the trilogy fight and go from there like you're the better man today. And it's going to teach me a lot and obviously not bring my ego out to a certain perspective or to a certain point in the fight.

And then I have now literally no choice but to move, cause one punch can end at all. So I have to literally change up or at least upgrade my style and really put it out there. Real quick before you go Augie, I did notice on the Tapology it does annotate retirement on your record. Did you know that? What? I didn't know that. Yeah, I I I pulled it up earlier

when I was doing research. It says like, you know, normally where I would say like TKO or do just strikes or ground strikes or knees, it says retirement on there. Yeah, well, technically I retired from the fight, 'cause I was in there. I was like, I just put my hands out. You got me like, it's not a ATKI guess, it's a verbal submission. It's due to strikes, but it's technically, yeah, I guess, a retirement, if you want to say which it is what it is, a loss is lost.

It should have been a doctor stoppage though it. Should have, but no matter what, even if it was a doctor stoppage, I put myself to that point. Should have would have, could have 'cause you also could have could have should have won that fight, so it is what it is. It's it's was for me. And it was funny, 'cause I went to the bag and like 3 weeks after the fight and hit the bag and I didn't know how angry it was. Pent up wise, like holy shit, you know, like moving, doing

this. I was like fuck, why is that Doing this in the fight, you know, obviously now I know you go through the trauma, you're like, oh, I should have just done this. But yeah, it's it's crazy when like you have fun in the fight and you realize you're winning and I was like, oh dude is this, he's dying out at me. This is great. I'm writing body shots, having fun and I'm just having a good time. And then you bleed and you're like, oh shit, it's just literally turned on a dime. This is the.

Momentum shifted so quickly, yeah. Part of the process. So that's that's also why I'm so accepting of it is like, again, I've lost everything I've had. So me losing, even if I lose my next 5 fights, it's like, whoa, I'm still trying. Obviously I care if I win or lose and I'm trying my best, but it doesn't emotionally hurt me to the point of like, Oh my gosh, you know, Ronda Rousey. Ronda Rousey. When she lost, she's like, I want to kill. I felt like killing myself.

I'm like, I get it because that's kind of how it was. The AL Express fight didn't lose in 33 straight fights. I get it. But after a while you're like. I'm not saying you should get used to this, but this is also a sport where I get to do this, I don't have to do it. And it's such a thin margin of error in this sport. So it's like once you become more aware of that, you get more

experience. It's like, well how are you going to sit there and just define yourself and your own self worth on the fucking results of this sport that can go either way on any night? So yeah, it's all part of the process. And what's next for me is as big as it gets, I would say, but or what? What could be the best case scenario for my career? Only fans, yes, and only fans. But yeah, I like I said, I can't really make any announcements yet.

But yeah, so hopefully there's something that gets announced is. There something that's cooking up currently? And that's next week or? 21 of like the big organizations, the biggest Have they come knocking finally. I don't even know what to say. I mean, yeah, sort of, kind of, kind of maybe, kind of sort of maybe. They sent out like a like a feeler letter kind of thing. No, nothing like that. There there's been a couple calls and next week will be a final call and kind of go from there.

And hopefully kind of like get a shot out of shot kind of thing, yeah. It's it's a shot at a shot with a bunch of opportunities in between. Just becomes what else comes with it? Or. It could be a foot in the door. It just I have and I told the people that are involved that, you know, I really don't care. Like I want to win everything like he's saying. But for me, I want to be a staple in the UFC and for that to be the thing.

I'm not going to sit there and fucking hold somebody's legs for 10 minutes and barely squeak. Wins out. Like, I want to be a dude that like, they're like, fuck yeah, I want to bring him back. Get down. Cerrone Mike Perry. Like, you know, if I can be the next counter. Fucking sweet. But like, I'm going to go out there and I'm going to put performances on. I'm going to go out there and I'm going to fucking fight my ass off. And if I go out of my shield and fuck it, I don't like, I don't

care. Like I was saying, like I'll sacrifice my health for my son, but I'm going to go out there and I'm going to put memorable performances on. So God willing, inshallah, hopefully and hopefully everything comes to fruition and I'm able to do that and everyone will get to see right in front of their eyes and then hopefully it is my foot in the door with the with the big boys. Now that it's my foot in your ass. I'm excited. I'm looking forward to it.

Before I let you guys go, any last words on four people that are, you know, struggling with either depression or just get into rough times? Become the Darkness Slayer. It'll change your life, really. Once you go black, you never go back. That's not true. I found that out. Realistically, it was great. Any who opposite, No 'cause there's so many things you could say about it. I so I do mental health videos every day which I actually have to post one soon.

There's one there's AI guess, a really dark Mexican poem that's whispering something in this guy's ear. It's like live, live, live. And it was actually death telling. Telling him that his death is always guaranteed life isn't. So let's just try our best. Enjoy today. Whatever happened yesterday, happened yesterday doesn't happen today. Nor should it dictate what's going to, you know, make you do what you do today. Yeah, maybe we should have.

Could have. But it's a different scenario, different case situation and take it from there. But live your day like it's your last and live it like it's a new day. Cause technically it is. So enjoy the present and yesterday's yesterday and hopefully there will be a future. So until then, enjoy what's now and appreciate everything to the fullest 'cause that once that shit's gone, it's gone.

I just say keep going, 'cause there's gonna be, you know, you might be at your lowest valley that you've ever been in your life. You might be in the process of making something happen. You might be at the top of the mountain, but no matter what, you got to keep going and putting 1 foot in front of the other and just keep doing what you love and treating people well and just going about things

and doing things the right way. Because we all know inside of ourselves what's right and what's wrong. Now fuck that. Do what you want? Live for the moment. Fuck everyone. Step on everyone's fucking throat in. In front of people, do what you want and. If you're at Starbucks and there's another car right there, you fucking cut them off and get in front of. Them. You need to get there in the car, take their stuff and go. I just try, man. That's it. You never know until you try.

Yeah, I. Appreciate that so much. It's also well, but where can everybody find you guys on socials and follow you guys? Jose Shorty Torres on Instagram Shorty Torres MMA on Twitter and Facebook. Teamshorter.com If anyone wants to donate to my foundation that helps keep kids, teens, and young adults inside the gym and off to. Give the foundation some money. And. Augie needs I need it. And that's usually like fanning. And yeah man, once you go black

and never go back. Augie. under score, MMA everywhere? Yeah, what's that? Well, we appreciate you guys so much. Thank you guys for tuning in. We'll see you guys next time. Still friends show up until 66. See you guys.