30. Shattering the Stereotype: Why Physician Moms Need and Deserve Household Help

 Hey doc, so when you imagine somebody who has household staff, what type of person do you envision?  Is it  like a Stetford wife or like a New York housewife,  somebody who's like super skinny, in designer clothes,  has  one or two children, is on charity boards? Doesn't have a job and, you know, has like 10 nannies, a gardener, uh, this or that.

Is that what you imagine?  I want to tell you what I imagine.

   This person went to school for  10, 12,  sometimes even longer, training for 3, 4, 7 years. Then had young kids.  Now saves lives every day. Has a husband, has a partner, has a family, is relied upon  by almost everyone in her life  to organize everything, to be the second opinion, to be the caretaker  that person has household staff, or at least she should.

Right? And I hope you identified with that person because that person is you. You should have household staff and no, it does not make you elitist or bougie or any of those things that you would typically equate with somebody who has all of this help. It just means that you are doing what you need to do to survive this time in your life. 

And in general, you do have the resources to be able to outsource and hire people to help you.  And I know the immediate thought as well, not all doctors have money, and I acknowledge that know that people have unique financial circumstances. I know that there are specialties that pay a lot less than other specialties. 

But  in general,  we are better off than the majority of people who live in this country.  And that's not a flex. It's just a fact.  But we also have way more responsibility than the average mom.  So,  when you think about What help do I need? What help should I get?  I want you to expand your belief system about this because it is not a bad thing and it's actually better for you to have people assisting you to carry out your day to day.

So of course you can do everything on your own. You have been,  right? You are trained to do it. You are doing it well. But what is it costing you?  How stressed are you? If anything gets missed,  does the whole thing come crumbling down because there, there's no backup. It's just on you,  like you deserve to have a little bit of peace of mind and that peace of mind often comes with outsourcing and you can see it as an investment in yourself.  So yes, nannies are expensive and childcare can be expensive.   But there are cheaper options. You can get an au pair. Yes, personal assistants are expensive. But you can get a VA.  It will cost you a very little amount of money.

And a little time with onboarding and getting this person on to help you. Just manage some of the things in your life if you can't yet afford or can never afford like a house manager or personal assistant.  I want to tell you a story.  So I have a very good friend who messaged me and she was the inspiration for this episode. 

She is currently in Houston with her family. There's a storm right now. She has a private practice, a new undertaking, a huge investment that she made leaving the corporate structure of all those hospital systems down there in Houston.  And when we first met, she was very hesitant  to have anybody helping.

She's a single mom by choice. It was her and her two children. And from the time we met, I was like, you need to get some help. And she got an au pair, had a really bad experience and just like, I'm never doing this again. Eventually she got the courage to  join the program. She hired a visual assistant to help with things with the practice. She had her office staff  and she sent me this message today  saying I've learned again how much I love having help. My two office staff are without power so my VA has been picking up all the slack. while we are recovering from the storm. My social media VA put out a post that we're trying to get people rescheduled. My au pair has been watching my girls because their school has been out.

These last two days had the potential to be absolute chaos. And she goes on to say, I'm always thinking about cost when it comes to getting help, but the return on investment is less to do with generating revenue and more to do with being able to function because I'm not stressed. , 

when she sent me that, I did like a little happy dance. I was like, Oh my gosh, this is absolutely amazing. Because I saw how stressed she used to be. Now she is so well supported in a way that is affordable.  So, getting help and outsourcing, it doesn't mean breaking the bank. 

There are affordable ways for you to get the help that you need. And like my friend said, the return on investment is really priceless.  Like, you cannot put a price on not having to spin out because you don't have to worry about childcare when something as uncontrollable as a storm hits. So I want you to reframe  that image of the mom that has household staff  and put yourself in that image.

Look in the mirror  and see the type of mom, the type of physician mom  who hires help, who trains help well, and who can go through life  feeling supported  and less stressed  during this, what can be a very chaotic time.

  So share this episode with another physician mom who needs to hear this message. Make sure you follow the podcast so you never miss an episode.  Leave us a 5 star review if you're on Apple Podcasts and a 5 star rating on all other platforms. It helps other physician moms find the podcast and  I will see you on the next episode of Stethoscopes and Strollers.