I Quit Half My Goals and My Life Got Better

my planner and last our brand, steph Pace Planners. I am also recently an author, a mom of two, and amongst all that, I have ADHD, which is lots of fun. You can find me across most social media like Instagram, YouTube and all the things. Maybe not so much TikTok because I can't keep it all up. And whilst that is all going on, I still misplace my phone in

the fridge more times than I like to admit. And if you have been here before, thanks for letting me disappear and then suddenly come back like nothing ever happened. I have just loved this is episode two and I know that, but I have just loved so much being back in your ears and the response I've already had from being back has been next level and I'm just

so so bloody grateful. I've been getting dms and all the things, and I'm just so stoked to be back in your ears every Monday with hacks routines talking all things motherhood. Pretty much nothing is off limits, honestly. To celebrate the relaunch of the pod, I'm doing a giveaway and I'm going to be doing this for the first

few episodes back. So all you have to do is take a little photo or a video of you listening to these episodes and pop it on Instagram and just tag Stepping Up and my page, which is steph Pace Underscore, and I'll be choosing one winner per episode, and each winner will be drawn before the end of March, and you will actually get one hundred dollars SPP voucher, which is my brand staph Face Planners, and that's going to

really help you get organized. Look, and if you don't win the prize, you're still going to get a prize in this episode, which is a free download. And I'm really trying to hold your hand through this now. Look, I know, oh it's like the end of February, but if you're still feeling a little bit scattered this download I'm giving you. It's like your guidebook to help you get reset and just stop being so hard on yourself

as well. This is my realistic reset guide to the New Year, which will also be linked in the show notes below. Now, this episode is part of a mini series I'm calling Mastering Your Messy Life, which yes, I ripped straight from my book Mastering My Messy Life, which you guys are absolutely loving and I'm so so proud of that, and I just love seeing you guys taging me and all that too. Now, this episode is for you if you felt like this year has been a bit of a shit show and not at all like

you had imagined. We know what it's like the start of a new year and you feel like yep, new year, knew me. And then you get to January tewod and it turns to shit. You've been trying to get back on track with like your goals, your routines and habits and nothing sticking. Well, this episode is a must for you. Now.

I'm going to be covering a lot of eye opening things with you in this episode, and I can guarantee you by the end you will be crystal clear on what your happiest life looks like, and also your happiest self, and that's also in terms of health success and just living as your authentic self. And also how to know when to pivot when your goals and routines don't really align anymore, because that happens now before we get into it,

here's a quick life update, because there's always things going on, Like you know when people you see people when you bump into them like wool worse, and it could be someone who went to school with and you're like, oh,

what have you been up to? And you both just go not much, but actually, like that's actual bullshit, Like you know, your kid broke the TV this morning, and you know, you feel like everyone hates you if you're someone like me and you're just an overthinker and you know you're late on emails and all the things happening and you just still say, yeah, yeah, not much, not much, but my life is falling apart. So my intention for

this year is I want to edit my life. And what I mean by that is I want to really just look at my life life like zoom out and then see what parts of it I want to delete, Like maybe some bad habits and things like that, like me scrolling and buying stupid kitchen appliances that I don't actually need, and just deleting the things that aren't serving me anymore. But also you know, duplicating or copy pasting

the areas that make me feel good. So so one thing I really wanted to do, like a year ago, was to get back into the hobbies and things that just you know, eight year old me would have loved to have done. So I started playing guitar this year. I started sorry, last year, so I've been doing it for a year now. So I started last January, and I've loved it, like I've always wanted to play guitar. And what I think sparked that was, you know the

movie Freaky Friday. I loved that movie. It's got Lindsay Lohan. They recently, like a few months ago now, they brought out number two, Freaky of Friday, and it's got Jamie Lee Curtis, and it's just you know, Chad Michael Murray who's still beautiful and is so like some guy like men just get better with age, isn't it. It's just wild anyway, So that sparked me into wanting to play guitar,

but I was never able to. So I went and got myself a guitar, and I even started going to guitar lessons on Tuesdays, and I loved it so much. And my goal was to be able to play Wonder War, which I can now play. Maybe not well, but I can play it, so that's good. So doing things more like that, and even editing things down to my wardrobe. I've done a big wardrobe edit where I've just cold a whole bunch of things that you know, maybe now

they've really gotten into my color season. If you guys know about that, there's like autumn, summer, spring, and winter, and they're the colors that like suit you and you're coloring and things like that. I fully hyperfixiated on this for like a month, guys, but it has changed my life. It's taken me to be thirty five years old to figure out what colors suit me, and it just really helps because they work together. Anyway I should do. I want to actually interview a color specialist, which I know,

a lovely lady. I'm going to do that, so we'll do a whole other episode. But it has actually changed my life, so I just really want to like simplify life, edit it down cul a lot of things, and just try to make it have less resistance, Like even like day to day tasks that I always have to like

I struggle with. So, for example, with my business, I do a lot of things on Canva, which is like a graphic design website if you guys haven't heard of it before, And I have so many photos loaded in there, and every time I try to make a post, it literally will take me hours just to find a photo.

And I'm like, why haven't I just fixed this problem and sorted it into albums so I could have photos from like motherhood, photos from Stefan's planets, like that type of thing, and it would make it so much faster. But I still keep like touching the hot stove like Bart Simpson anyway, things like that. I could go on about that forever. So just really simplifying my life, editing it down. And in other news, our house is moving

along and we recently got grass in the backyard. Now I know this sounds odd, but we've had just dirt dirt for years, and you know, first of all problems, but we can touch grass now. Even the kids were like mam, we've got grass. It was so exciting, So we're excited we can touch grass now. And you know, the kids have started a new year at school, so we're just navigating those things and just getting them settled. On that note, though, I have to say, I remember when I was a kid and we had to start

a new year at school. We were just like day one, You're just thrown in the classroom. You don't know who teacher is, you don't know who you're with, and then you just deal with it. Whereas now, which I love, like, I love this for my kids, they have a whole the whole first week back, they slowly like integrate them back, so they go back to their old classroom with their old teacher, and then they slowly put them into the new one. I'm like, oh, that's nice. What's that like?

At least we can say we're resilient. Okay, but yes, that's pretty much what's going on in my world at the moment. But I'm going to stop upping because I will sit here all day and do so. So this

episode is part two of mastering your Messy life. And as I said, it is a realistic twenty twenty six reset and in the last episode, I explained why I tend to reset later in the year then you'd expect. I don't believe in resetting in December or January. And yes, it's literally pretty much March now, and that is okay because you still got to just you need to walk

before you can run. You know, we're trying to just diffuse from you know, the holiday season and getting back into the swing of things, getting back into our routines.

And I explain why that is so important. And I also took you through a reflection in the first episode, and which is also looking in your review mirror, because before you can drive forward, you need to look back behind you at all the potholes and the U turns and the wrong turns you've made to see how you can move forward, because it's kind of just like driving

with a blindfold, which I don't recommend. I also covered my little thing I do with habits so stop, start and stick with, so habits to stop, habits to start, and habits to stick with, And this is something this episode and the next will actually really help you with as well. And I also shared my simple three day reset itinery if you're feeling really, really behind. So it's just three days and I lay it out for you exactly what to do to feel like you've caught up

a little bit. So if you haven't listened to that, definitely go back and have a listen now today, As

I said, I'm going to get you crystal clear on what your happiest self looks like. And I know, like, this is just an exercise that I came up with a couple of years ago now, but it has actually changed my life and something I revisit whenever I'm feeling a little bit lost or stuck. And that's usually because

you've outgrown the past version of yourself. Like we are always evolving and growing, and now, like I'm thirty five years old now and I think back to who I was at thirty and it's just like I'm a different human honestly, Thank God for that. And sometimes things what you think you want change along the way, and that's okay.

And a lot of the time, if you set a goal or you know you're striving towards something and then lady, you're like, I don't want to do that anymore, but you continue to do it because it's like that's what we think we have to do because we don't want others to perceive us as failing. And this kind of relates back to a point I always make. You're not actually afraid of failure. You're afraid of other people's perception

of you failing. So you're actually worried about what other people think of you failing, not you actually failing, because when you think about it, you go off and try to do the thing. Maybe you try and start a side hustle and maybe it doesn't work out. What's the worst that can happen? You just go back to living life as it was before, like nothing bad is going to happen. So you're actually worried more so of other

people seeing it not work out. And that's like, you know, that really has this chained to staying stuck to you know, maybe the job you're in at the moment, or you know, maybe you've started, you know, polarates and you actually blood you hate polarates, and you're still going because you're just scared of what your friends will think. This exercise is going to get you so crystal clear on what your

happiest self looks like. You know, we always hear people talking about your best self you know, I want to be my best self. But for me and how my

brain works, my best self is calls perfect it's perfectionism, and that's something I have a lot of issues with because I and then asshole to myself. I have very high expectations of myself, so I try to just be really careful about the language we use. And yeah, sure, best self, like the intention behind it is not bad. It's about us trying to level up, I guess, but for people like me who have perfectionism and all that,

it can be a little bit tricky. And I did talk a lot about language and what we use, like what language you use around ourselves and our life and our goals and how important it is. And it's the same with this. Now we need to do this exercise because before we can decide on what habits, routines and goals we want to go for, we need to do the groundwork first. Otherwise it's like running in the dark and it's not going to end well. Me running in

general just doesn't end well. I went for my first run the other month, and honestly, I don't know what came over me, but I did it. And you know, if you did witness that I'm very sorry. If you thought I was dying, you would be correct and mind your business. Now. We do this is because otherwise you might find yourself setting goals and then a couple months later you ask yourself, why did I even want that?

Like why? But anyways, we are doing this so we can actually set goals that are for our happier self and not for other people. It's kind of like when you look back at our old photos from when you used to go clubbing and you wore that disgusting dress from Soupre and you had no eyebrows. That was a good time, good time. So I do miss that, and they are saying, you know, twenty twenty six is a new two thousand and twenty sixteen for god Now. I

also mentioned in the last episode the filter you need to apply. This is a filter or lens that you need to apply to everything in your life. This is to help you figure out if what you're currently like, how you're currently showing up or doing or being or whatever, if that's actually what you want. Now. The filter is actually a question. Now, I want you to ask this right now, when you you know, I want you to

zoom out on your life on who you are. And I want you to ask, if no one was watching or clapping me on, would I still be doing this slash wanting this. Yeah, it can be pretty confronting. So

today we're not setting habits or goals for anyone else. We're going to impress anyone else. We're doing that for ourselves. Now, this is a visualization exercise, and it's not wu woo, you know, like I want you to be woo woo, but I'm not really, I'm not there. I need the science with things and this is an amazing exercise to do. So depending on what you're doing right now. If you're driving, please keep your eyes open. If you're at home, I'd like you to close your eyes. If you're driving, just

just picture it in your head. Now. I want you to imagine you've just walked into a room and in front of you there are three mirrors. I want you to imagine that you're walking up to the first mirror, and the reflection you see in that first mirror is your healthiest self. Now, this is not the version of you that you know. We might have grown up with thinking, you know, with the Biggest Loser and the magazines we saw with you know, celebrities with six packs and that

this is not your read self. This is not the version of you that has a twelve pack. This is a version of you that takes rests when he or she needs it. They're not someone that smashes themselves at the gym when they're burnt out or tired. They're not someone that restricts themselves. They move their body because it makes them feel good. They move their body because it makes them happy and it helps their mental health. They

don't just do it for looks. They're a person that sleeps well at night, they have energy to keep up with their family and kids. I want you to see what that version of you is doing and how they live their life. What's their fridge full of? What do their days look like? How much do they rest and what does their self talk sound like. Are they someone that puts themselves down if they miss a day or do they just you know, next day they go straight back at it. What do they do? What do they

do to move their body? What do they do to make themselves feel good? What do they eat? And again, this is not about this is not the version of you that restricts themselves. This is a of you that just has the energy, They have the patience, they have the compassion towards themselves, and they're realistic as well. Now you walk up to the second mirror, and in that mirror you see your most successful self. And just remember

success looks different on everybody. This version of you is living success by their own means of what it means to them. Maybe for this version of you, it's a balanced between work and family. Maybe it's being present to raise your kids. It doesn't always mean titles or working crazy hours. It doesn't even mean the paychecks you get. But maybe for you, it could be this version of you could possibly be choosing themselves after some hard relationships.

Maybe they started a new business or a new hobby. This version of you is so proud of themselves and they don't doubt themselves because they're just showing up no matter what. They're fulfilled in what they do and they don't care about what anyone else thinks. So for me personally, with this one, success for me is being able to provide for my family, but I am present with my family.

It's being able to live slowly. So just remember with this one, especially, make sure whatever you see you ask yourself, if no one was watching, would I still want this? Now? How is your most successful self living day to day? What are they doing? How do they feel? Are they living slowly or are they rushing? And how do they feel at the end of each day when their head hits the pillow. Do they feel proud of themselves? Do

they feel fulfilled? Are they excited for the next day? Now, I want you to walk over to the third mirror, and when you reach that mirror, you see your truest self. And this is a version of you before society, judgment and expectations formed you and what you think you should be doing. This is your unapologetic self. They don't compare themselves to others. They don't compare themselves to the version of you years ago. What are they doing? What's your

truest self doing? What does she enjoy? Is she trying new things every day? Maybe she's also starting guitar. Think about how she feels and how she's with her friends and family and even at work. Especially, think about how her brain sounds, how she talks to herself, what she tells herself. Does she hype herself up? What does she tear herself down? Now I want you to imagine you're turning around to leave this room and behind you, you look down and there is your six year old self

looking up at you. She's looking at you in absolute awe for all the things you've done so far. Now, I want you to tell your younger self all the amazing things you've overcome, all the things you've done, and all the hardships you face, but you still got through and you're still standing here today. Give your little self a hug, because you know what, she's so bloody proud of you, and she thinks she was so fucking cool,

and I think you forget that now. I want you to open your eyes or continue to drive if you're driving now. I know that exercise can feel a little bit confronting, especially when you see your younger self. I know whenever you do anything like even seeing photos of your younger self. And there was an AI trend where everyone was making themselves now holding their younger self, which is what I did. It just gets you, It really

gets you. But the reason why it's important to think of your six year old self is because it gives you that distance from you now and when you look back at your younger self. You see the gap in between ages and just all the things you've done and overcome in the middle, and with that it actually gives you the permission to feel proud of yourself. You know,

we have a lot of tall Poppy syndrome and austral which is really really hard and it makes us uncomfortable to sit with our own achievements and success because it makes us think, oh, I have a big head or you know, you just you're full of yourself. But that's not the truth. And I think for me myself, like I have, you know, even this podcast, like there's so many things I've managed to achieve by just just showing up even when it was scary or hard, and just

because I'm just following what I'm passionate about. But because with the nature of who I am, I'm always moving the goalpost. So when I reach a goal, I'm never still long enough to actually feel proud or to feel it because I'm already focused on the next goal. And it's so important that we learn to slow down and

just allow ourselves to be proud. Now, what I hope you've gained out of this exercise is clarity and also shifting the load that we subconsciously place on ourselves that we need to go out and do all the things. And what you know healthy looks like or what success looks like when to us, it's different to every single person.

And for me personally in my third like now I'm in my thirties, hit the mirror that hits me the most is the success one, because you know, growing up, you've always been told to pick one lane, do one thing. And I always was just I was just all over it. I just loved so many different things. And I talk about this a lot in my book, being a jack of all trades. I just love even now, like I love doing all the things. I've got YouTube, I've got

the planners, I've got the pod. I just want to do all the things like and I also love the color theory now and guitar, and that's just who I am. But you know, growing up, when you're always being told to just do one thing, and you stay there even if you're miserable, which doesn't make any sense, but you know, sunk cost fallacy, it's hard to then pivot over to being like I'm allowed to be passionate about many things. And now the people that are most successful are actually

passionate about multiple things. Like times have changed, but unfortunately our thinking can still be stuck back. And I used to always tie my worth to titles and achievements and how busy I was. I thought busy meant success, but it actually means burnout. Like we don't get trophies for who works eighty hour weeks? Like who are we doing this for? And at the end of the day, you know, life is just too short to be smashing yourself and for what If it's not to make you happy, then

why are you doing it? I also think for me, the success mirror hits me the hardest because one of the biggest lessons I learned was from my dad's death.

And I know this is a little bit morbid, sorry, but when Dad got sick a few years ago, it really did change my definition of success because you see, Dad, he waited his whole life to retire to then enjoy himself, Like he literally waited to retire it and to then live his life and do the things, and he never got to. So when I visualized looking at myself in that mirror, I have a lot of days off, I have free time, I'm present with my family. I live

slowly and that to me now is success. I need to do and live that because Dad never got to. And I would love to know in all of this what mirror hit you hardest, because for me, definitely the health mirror, like my healthier self. That mirror really did hit me hard, like after kids. And that's a whole

other story I'll go into. But everyone's going to feel probably a bit more attached or drawn to a certain mirror, whether that's your successful self, your healthier self, or your truer self, or maybe you're most tied to your six year old self, and that usually the one you're tied to is the one you really need to focus on most. So if you're tied more to your six year old self, you just really need to let yourself be proud. You

need to feel that. You need to have that reflection and be like, fuck, I did the things I killed that. You know, maybe we can't. We don't all show up and be one hundred percent all the time, but you did, and you show up every day, and even if you're going through a season right now where you're struggling, you're still showing up and that counts. And you don't always have to be like, okay, look I'm going to pause

this for a sec. I know where like sorry, not actually pause it. I know I'm talking about goals and things like right now. But the thing is, you don't actually need to be one percent better every single day. You don't always have to be pushing and pushing and pushing. If you're in a season where you need slowness and you just need to be still for a sec and catch a breath, You're allowed to be stagnant if you

need that. Like that's you know, people think not leveling up or moving forward is bad, but sometimes it actually serves a purpose. So for me, like when I wrote my book, yes it was I was actively doing a huge goal of mine, but a lot of other things in my life stopped. The podcast, stopped my social media, my YouTube, you know, I stopped going to the gym that was not fun, and I lived on Uber eats. But the thing is a lot of things paused in my life. But that gave me the space to be

able to write the book. And that's why I always say balance is bullshit because you can't do everything perfectly all the time. Whatever season you're in, you need to be able to focus on that. So for you, if you're listening to this, your habits and goals can be about rest. That's okay, Like you're allowed to do that. So yes, please let me know, like maybe send me a message on Instagram or whatever, and let me know what mirror you related to the most. This is going

to take me on to our plot points. Now. In

the last episode, I talked about a lot about the language we use when we talk about ourselves, our life, and especially in relation to resolutions and goals, because a lot of the language people use are quite harsh. Where like you know, as I said, resolutions, I don't really like that word because it's kind of makes me feel like we're trying to be resolved, like we're a problem, and it also kind of takes the fun out of it.

So I want you to just this is my little spin on it, and it's probably because you know I'm an author now and all the things, but I want you to think of your year as the plot. This is your twenty twenty six plot, and you're the main character, and you're also the author. You're writing the plot points for your character to live out. So I want you to think, like, what do you want this plot to look like for your character? What does your character need

right now? And it makes it more fun and it takes the pressure off because at the end of the day, life's not that serious. It's really not you know what I mean. We're on like, we're on this tiny, tiny compared to the universe. We're on this little speck floating around like, let's just chill for a sec. Yeah, let's

stop rushing so much. Now we do that exercise because now we're clear on what our happiest selves look like and that's now going to translate into our plot points or habits or goals, whatever you want to actually call it. And before we look into our plot points or goals, I want you to make sure you're applying that filter I taught you earlier, which is, if no one was watching, would I still want to be doing this? Do I

still want this now? Goals in general can be a little bit overwhelming or plot points, whatever you want to call it. This is why we want to break it down into categories. It's good to do categories for something like this. We don't want any areas of our life to get neglected, kind of like shave in the back of your legs. We don't want it to give be neglected.

So the categories you know, these can be different for everyone, but generally they are personal, home, relationships, health, business, or education, whatever you want to call it, hobbies. And I want you to write down you know, now we know our happiest self, and now we've got our filter on. I want you to write down, even just two two goals or plot points or habits or maybe routines for each category of your life. I want to give you some examples for each category of your life of what possibly

they could be. And these don't have to be crazy goals like these are. These can be micro moments. It could be a journal before a coffee in the morning, like these can be whatever you want them to be, whatever you saw in the mirror, for the versions of yourself, whatever they were doing. That's kind of what you want. So some examples for personal plot points, goals. Whatever. For me is to read every night at eight pm. Because

I have a bit of a confession. Since writing my book, I haven't read a book. I have not read a single book. And if you guys know me, I love reading. I adore it. I've read my whole life, and I haven't been able to read. And I know during writing the book, I was just not able to, Like I was so wrecked. And I also started like pulling apart my own book or I'm looking into other like more, seeing the little strategies of what writers do. Like I started, it just kind of wrecked it for me. So I

still haven't got back into reading. So that's one of mine. Another one could be cut out caffeine. It could be as I said, journaling before coffee in the morning. It could be doing the hobby your eight year old self would love. There's so many things for your personal self. It could be drinking more water. There's yeah, so just writing like like in some categories might only have one or maybe none. It just depends what season you're in now.

Health is another category. So for me, mine is to get a full panel of blood work and an iron check because I'm a low iron girly, which is lots of fun. I just love headspins and taking daily supplements is one for me. So your health could be you know, being more active or getting back into gym, or it could be sleeping like sleeps. Actually that should be one in mine, getting better sleep. That is very important. And then we've got things like relationships. So this is relationships.

It can mean anything to you. It could be you know, romantically, it could be family, it could be friends. It could be at work, like whatever you want to do like with work, it could be to network more, something like that. So some example of mine is dinner at the table five nights a week, which we've been doing so I'm happy with that. And phones away from five to seven.

So this was a big rule I had years ago with Ryan and I and the kids, and I used to physically put my phone in the drawer just to have that distance, and it was really helpful because a lot of the time, especially in the afternoons, as a parent, it's very overwhelmed. It's like witching hour. You know. They go from babies they need to feed every two minutes, and now they're kids that need to ask a lot

of questions. And if you're trying to multitask and you're on your phone, that's when you get overwhelmed and you can get a bit cranky and a bit snappy. And that's the time. I also know if we're not like focused on the bedtime routine, then the kids will not be asleep when I want them to be, which lately it's been a bit of a shit show. So if you've got any tips, let me know. But it's already going much better. So that was another one for us.

And another one was also for me to have a bit more social like for years I've literally been a hermit, Like my friends have stuck by me through my most boring ear I ever, thank you friends and even you guys have because I've been busy. But for me, that was a big one and I have been more social and it's good because like I am not I'm homebody, and you know, I've got a small like I've got friends, but like I don't know, I don't know if it's like ADHD or something, but I just I don't like

to do a lot of big things often. So yeah, that's a big one for me and I feel like that's been going well. So the next category is home. Now, this could be literally just how your home feels. So you could be popping candles around, you could open all the blinds like whatever your happiest self what the house was like is what you kind of want to strive for,

and it doesn't mean having expensive items and things. It's just like having the feeling like it could feel clutter free, it could be organized, it could be you know, comfortable and homely, like you could have you know, cute little coloring and books that in the lounge room to do every night, Like it could be so so simple for me personally, it's like, so our house is still unfinished

if you guys didn't know that. So for me, it's trying to just finish little corners of the house that I can just try to get across the line, just to make it all feel more homely for us. And that's like the main thing it could be down to, like having a functional pantry, So that's that one, and

that also can come into routines. So maybe you constantly feel like you're chasing your toiel at home and it's always a mess, which you know we all relate, but it could be deciding, Okay, at night, I'm going to do a closing shift for the house. I'm going to put the house to bed by you know, doing the dishes. I want to wipe the benches, I want to like reset the lund room so when you wake up you feel fresh the next day. Like that's a great one.

To do, so something like that for us personally. One for me was, you know, our laundry just got wild and out of control. So I created like a laundry schedule and it's really really held. So that was a home habit goal for me. Now there's business, so for you that could be you know, starting a project or getting more on top of emails. So for me, like I was, I'm not the best with emails, like give me mad anxiety, but I used to be very reactive with it. So I only checked my emails twice a day,

so in the morning and then the afternoon. I think it's just any systems within your business or in your work or career that feel hard or there's like a resistance you need to kind of zoom out and kind of get creative with how you can fix that. I know there was a period of my period of time with you know, SPP my business, that I just felt a bit flat. It felt a bit blurt, and I

didn't feel very inspired, which can happen. That's normal. But I figured out, like, and this sounds very superficial, but it's not like just just hear me out. So the resolution I came up with was I was going to start because I used to go to work in just like my gym clothes and it didn't really like you'd be surprised how much how you look does contribute to how you feel. And again I'm not trying to say like you need to look hot all the time, like Jesus, no,

we're not. We're not doing that. But I started just quickly getting changed at the gym into some work clothes and it could just be like a singlet and some nice pants, and I started feeling so much more switched on and just better, like I could step to that version of myself. So that was like something that I started doing a while ago and it just really really helped.

So as you can see, these are just some different ideas for you guys to have a think about for your different categories or goals. Now, I want you just to know you're probably hearing all these life areas and these goals and habits or whatever and thinking, oh my god, there's so much for me to do. I just want you to stop right there, because I'm not telling you to do all of these things. I just want you to brainstorm and write them down, because less is more,

less is more with a lot of things. And this is a big principle I applied to my health and fitness journey, which I will do in another pod. Because the thing, as soon as you put too much pressure on yourself, you will run the other way. And you're not even going to tie your shoes up, dull, So we're not doing that. We're just going to chill for a sex. So now I just want you to just look over these goals and habits, plot points for this year and for the season of life that you're in

right now. I want you to only pick one to two. That's it, one to two. And look, you might be ambitious and you might think, no step I want to do like five. Just listen to me, please, as a lady who's done this many times before. When you go all in and too hard, that's when you are just putting too much pressure on yourself and that's gonna like it's you're so likely to fall into all or nothing. You know so much of us do it. I do it.

I go so hard. And then because you know, I'm trying to do the gym, I'm trying to milk prep, I'm trying to do this with the business. I'm trying to do my emails, and then you burn out and then you just think, then you give up on all of it. We need to have slow changes to actually make it sustainable. An example of this is with me, with my you know, less is more mindset is I used to try to aim for ten thousand steps a day, and you know, with my with my business and stuff,

I'm sitting down a lot. Actually like I'm sitting down a lot. It's great, but not so at the end in the afternoon, I would look at my step count and I was way off ten k. I was like, so what I do? I wouldn't even try. I would not even try. So then I lowered my goal to eight k steps and suddenly I'm like, oh, that's just a quick walk, you know. And then I was studied. I started to hit it consistently. So these small efforts

do add up. So just reflect on the season of life you're in right now and see what you need. Does your health need you to pay a bit more attention to it? Do your kids, maybe your family, maybe your home could be your business. So just pick one to do. Like for me, for example, my character Steph pays she in this next chapter is focusing on her meal prep, something that she definitely fell out with, and yeah,

we already know about that. And I'm leaning back into fun again because I actually haven't played guitar for a few weeks, like last year's kind of was on and off a little bit, So just focusing more on that. So they're my plot points that I'm focusing on right now, and even within those, I don't put the pressure on. So when with meal prep, I'm not expecting myself to do the old Steff pace meal prep. So if you remember, I used to prep so much food and it was great,

but I'm just not there right now. So if I can prep one to do things a week, I'm happy. And the same with guitar. I'm not going to sit down and play guitar for an hour every day. I'm talking like five minutes maybe, and it doesn't have to be every day. So just really just just be honest. Let's be realistic with ourselves here. Now. I mentioned earlier

how sometimes you can set goals and later on you wonder you think to yourself, like why am I even doing this anymore? Or maybe you know, with these goals we've written down just now, you might achieve a couple or the habits or routines. You might get into the swing of those and be ready to move on to another one, and then you look at your goal or habit and think, oh, I don't really want to do that anymore. And I just want to let you know

that that is very, very normal. And this is where I'm going to talk to you about how to know when to pivot with purpose and when to give up on goals that you set. And I'm going to give you some very specific examples because this is really important to note because a lot of the time times when as I said, we pivot on a goal, a lot of the time we think we are failing, and that is just simply not true. So here are the different ways you can know when to pivot on your goals,

or change your goals, or stop your goals. So the first one is when the goal was built for a past version of you. So let's say you set a goal to work until ten pm every night to grow your business, and that made sense in that season then where you had the capacity, But now you have kids and you've got different priorities and you have very limited energy with the season that you're in and pushing those same hours is costing you more than it's giving back.

So pivoting doesn't mean giving up because it's hard. It means zooming out and maybe finding new ways you can make it work still. So it could be by creating new systems to simplify. So like my Canva example earlier, it could be changing the hours you're actually working. Maybe you're doing it during the kids nap time, or maybe in the morning, or you know, maybe just after dinner. Like just pivoting with that, because I'm not saying when I say it, I don't mean give up altogether unless

it calls for it. I just mean just working with where you're at. Another example of when you know you should pivot is when you like the idea of the goal more than the reality of the goal. And I've had a lot of examples of this, Like there was a time after Harper was born, my first child, who's nearly ten, I wanted to become a personal trainer, which, you know, because I love fitness, So yeah, it makes sense, you know, Like it's like like ice cream, so I'm

gonna buy an ice cream truck. So I went and did the course, I did the things so there was a point in time where I actually worked at the gym, and then I saw the reality of what it meant to be a personal trainer. It's early mornings, which is fine, but it's also like you're they have to work around work hours. And then for me, you know, as a mom, later on, I didn't want to do that. I did not want to I want to be with my kids

in the afternoon. Okay, maybe that's debatable, but usually I want to be with my kids, and I realized that the reality of the goal isn't actually what I wanted. That's a very good example. It's also like, you know, and I love this how a lot of people are training for marathons and things, and that's something I probably would love to do one day. Well I think I do,

But it's kind of like that. So you tell everyone you're training for half marathon, but you dread running and you secretly hope it rains on the day, So maybe like, let's not do that. Yeah. Another example is when the intention is right but the structure is wrong. So, for example, your goal is to journal every day for your mental health, but sitting with a notebook every morning just you struggle to make it happen. But pivoting looks like voice notes

in your car or writing it at night. It could be just chucking it in your notes up on your phone. It's the same intention but different format, and that's okay too. Another one is when a goal only works in ideal conditions. And this is very much all or nothing thing I was talking about before. So an example is, say you plan to go to the gym five days a week, but it only happens when work is quiet, or if

the kids are easy, or if you've slept well. So pivoting looks like two gym sessions and daily steps, which actually survives your life. So that's another really good example of pivoting. The last sign that you need to pivot with purpose or give up on a goal is when dropping that goal or that expectation feels relieving, not dramatic.

For example, you quietly stop pursuing a goal and you feel so much lighter, and you're like, oh, thank god with that, like thank god spin class got canceled, or freaking hate spin class, Like just just stop going, go

find something else to do. Okay, fore you movement, go do boxing or on no, do dancing. You know, so that calm you feel. That's your answer, all right, guys, I hope you enjoyed today's episode. I know there was a lot to take in there, and I just really really hope that you realize that you don't need a

brand new year. You don't need a new week, you don't need a Monday, you don't need to be a brand new version of yourself, and you definitely don't need to smash yourself with habits that don't fit your life anymore, which is going to change your goals. You're writing down right now, your plot points, you might not want to do those in three months, and that's fine, like just

cross them out. What you do need is clarity and know what actually matters to you in the season that you're in, and also what you're willing to stop just because it looks good on the outside. Because I don't know if you realize, but you're the only one living your life. You're the only one that wakes up to your life every day, so you need to stop performing

for others. And please don't forget to download your Master and your Messy Life Guide, your free download which is in the show notes, which is going to take you through all these steps plus heaps more, and it's really going to help you get that clarity that I'm talking about and also a quicker mind. I don't forget to enter the giveaway and please subscribe and leave a review. I would love that so so much. I appreciate you guys being back. I just love seeing all your dms

and everything. So if you have any suggestions of episode ideas, please let me know. I would love to chat your ear off even further. And also don't forget to follow us on Instagram and also our Facebook community because we'll have heaps more resources in there, and you guys can also chat together about what we're talking about on here. Thank you for being here and thank you for letting me be back in your ears, and I will see you next Monday. Bye,