This is another episode of stand up comedy, your host and emcee, celebrating 40 plus years on the fringe of show business, stories, interviews and comedy sets from the famous and not so famous. Here's your host and MC. Scott Edwards.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the podcast. What are my best friends in the business? This guy is so funny on stage. He worked for me many, many times over a decade of years on my laughs UNLIMITED Stages. He's done television. He's a huge corporate comic. Let's welcome him back to the show. Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only melt Abell. Melt. Nice to have you back.
Thank you. Hello, Scott. Good to see you know, I can't see you. But you know what I mean?
Well, what's interesting is that we were We were recently connected on Facebook.
Yeah, because we had just learned this after knowing you for decades that our fathers have the same birthdate. February 5, not February and March.
You know, it is pretty funny that as long as we have been friends that March 5 is the birthday of both our parents. My father would be 91 At this point, and I believe your dad was 88.
Yeah, my dad got married. Very young. In fact, I even have an older sister got married at 20. My mother, or I shouldn't say he got married at 18. My mother was 17. Now I it wasn't a shotgun wedding. But there were weapons there.
So they were young parents how old your sister.
My sister I lost my sister to cancer. But yeah, and we stopped looking after she died. But that's a very dark joke. Anyway, she, she wouldn't. What was the question? I was I felt self conscious. I lost my train of true. How much older is two and a half years? Two and a half years?
So your parents did start very young with children?
Yes, they did nothing like what happens these days. But yeah, I had my dad over and two of my kids and their significant others for a birthday for him. And after he blew out the candles, I asked my father I said, gently wisdom to share. And he really thought about it. They took a long pause and he goes, Don't regret your mistakes. And I couldn't pass up the opportunity for a joke. I said, Well, when I finally make one, I'll try to remember that.
Don't regret your mistakes. But at some point it could happen. Melt.
Yeah, I know. Let's let's maybe we'll catch it on tape. Maybe you'll get a famous moment on tape. Well, I
just thought it was so great that you could share that birthday and I saw a photo of you in the family with your dad. And that's so great to have those memories. So congratulations and happy birthday to your father.
Now well, thank you. I'll try and I will pass it on. He's nice. He lives here now in an assisted living facility. Where you know, he plays he's so excited about bingo. Now you get that old. And you know if you wake up alive, you know, that's the day's done. Bingo.
Bingo. So after that.
Exactly, exactly. And he they play $1 Bingo on Mondays and then Tuesday Tuesday's the whales show up to use Las Vegas portlets. And it's $2. Bingo. So he really loves that I've got him up here from you know recently because he was on his own in Chico, California, which is really a struggle for him and for me because I don't know if you've ever tried to explain how someone can use the remote to cable television over the phone. But it's like playing Pictionary
from another room? It's almost impossible.
Yes, I'm helping take care of Jill's Father who is in his 80s and we have him in a senior facility and there has been many times we've had to try to explain common things like the phone and the the television and you were doing it long distance now we should tell everybody you're up in the Seattle area. Or in Portland, Portland, Oregon. Well, I was gonna state
the same same climate. But yeah, I remember one at one point, you know, and explaining the the directions and him reporting what he was seeing. He used the word that thing a lot, you know, and my experience has taught me that. If you use thinking too much, it doesn't mean anything anymore. He kept describing that finally, I got the TV on The Weather Channel in Spanish, and then quit for about two weeks. All at that time. I call him at that time I go, how you doing daddy go estoy frill
Well, at least the thing he worked.
So I got him up here and he's doing much better. And it was. It's nice not to talk to him on the phone. He's such a loud talker. I'd be on the phone with him with my cell phone and people could take my speak, folks. He is off speakerphone. Is that loud?
Well, it is one of the you know, that circle of life that were taking care of our parents in our stage. Yeah, but I'm glad that that's gone. Well, have you been performing?
Yeah, I was. I just I took a long hiatus. I had some health issues. I was taking care of my mother. I was living with her and taking care of her. She had Alzheimer's and was on oxygen. 24/7 had a 50 foot cable of oxygen that she traveled around the house, kind of like snuba through the house. And I thought he wouldn't recognize that term, Scott.
I don't know if the audience will. But I'm a co owner of a company called Snoop International and it's underwater snorkeling where you have a 25 foot hose that allows you to take air from the surface and enjoy under the ocean. But using that in the story. Thank you very much, Milt.
Sure. I get it. I get some kickback on that. Yeah. So she would have this. She would have this cable everywhere she went and she had Alzheimer's and we'd play hide and seek and I find her and I just bought the cable. But you know she has Alzheimer's. So we could we could play over and over again. It was nice. But anyway. Yeah, I'm working again. And so I had a long hiatus and I had my first headlining set in almost two years. Well,
you can see why built was one of my favorite podcast and boy. Ladies and gentlemen. enjoy working together. And share it. We'll see you next week.
Wow. Yeah, one of the younger comics, one of the comments that watched the show, and I thought it was just okay, he goes, You're too hard on yourself. And I was thinking I was doing calming for this guy was born now. And
so your opening act was born after you were already in the business? What is that?
Headlining for you? That's running for you? Yeah. So anyway, yeah, I got some work coming up in the fall. And it's funny, here's something about getting older, too. You know, if you're 16, and you have something to do in September, you think, well, that's forever, you know, here we are. What is it March 1211 10. six out of eight to march 8. And you think, you know, he's 16. And you think something in September, that's forever, that's never going to
happen. And at our age, she'd go to bed to start getting ready.
You got a gig coming up in four months? We better start writing.
Exactly. No, I'm doing a corporate date in soccer. And not in Sacramento. That's where you are.
Are you still there? Yes, sir. Yeah.
No, in San Francisco. And then I what I did was, I'm really happy about this, I managed to find work Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and the three days before the various casinos and nightclubs in Northern California and my way down. So I'll be nice and warmed up and sharp, corporate day to tough comedy clubs. Well, I mean, I don't have a punchline for that. But I'll give you a truism about it. You know, in a comedy club,
nobody knows anybody. You are the focal points, you're the you're the one that everybody knows, even if you're not famous, this is the headliner tonight. In a corporate Day, everybody knows everybody and you're the outsider. You know, it's a little the aesthetics are a little tougher, but the pluses is that you know, what they have in common? So you can do some, hopefully some observation material I, I like to write private jokes for private
companies. Because, you know, observational comedy, you can't do observational comedy, unless people can relate to it, or are willing to admit it. I mean, you've never seen observational comic Open With, Don't you hate it when you're under indictment, and yada, yada yada?
Well, what's this corporation you're going to be doing? Don't give their name, but what type of business?
You know, good question. I've asked the producer twice. So I mean, I can probably write plenty of jokes in the last two or three days, but it's more fun you find if you have something on your mind and you give yourself time, jokes generally come in. I've been really lucky. Given pretty prolific lately,
well, it's great to have a surprise corporate gig ladies and gentlemen, appearing here at Alcatraz middle table. Yeah, trying to be ill. Yeah. Well, I know as a traveler and
not being a pundit about being booked anyway going.
Well, I know as a professional road comic, you travel a lot, you end up in hotel rooms, and the unique circumstances arrive in that for you know, in that circumstance,
Oh, yes. Yeah, well, reasonably, on my own as a as a as a thank you to myself. I took myself on a trip down the Oregon Coast after I got my father, which was a hell of a lot of work, you know, moved from Chico up here to this system living, I still retreat myself and go down the Oregon coast. And I stayed in a hotel and got a room that was already occupied a little bit. I know, there was a fly in this room. And I started and I should mention, this is also I
was recuperating from surgery. I won't go into details, but I was pretty weak. I mean, we can to the point of I don't know how many audience let listeners know how we can get your hands actually feel heavier. There's actually more meat and bones at the end of your arm than other parts. And if we cannot, we'll notice that. So I was pretty weak. And I but I still went to the hotel and there's a flying around and they'll give you fly
swatters, God forbid. So I'm snapping out with my talent and start getting winded, but I think I hit it that the floor was all dark, you know, so I wear shoes the rest of the day. Anyway, it's morning, I take a shower, I step out, and in this little closed, all white bathrooms, the flies in there again. So I obviously didn't kill it. So I closed the door with me and the fly in the room. And I have a wet bath towel and naked and I'm thinking one of us is not getting out of here
alive. And so yeah, so I started snapping at it. And after about three to five shots, I didn't year, I'm out of breath. I mean, I'm really exhausted. And I suddenly get this fear that this could go either way. So I managed to hit it. After I rested, I snapped that out of the air it fell into the shower stall. And I don't know if it was unconscious or dead and target tell the fly. So I just threw the four to five pound wet that towel on top of that left the room, went to breakfast,
came back into the bathroom. And to use the facilities and I look to my right. And there's a fly on top of the towel. Yeah, he's looking at me with most of his eyes. And so I finish up and I walk out of the bathroom I close the door behind me and through the door. I say the floor I knew when
he was standing on top of that towel like you know the champion is victory.
Brushed that off. That's nothing that's that's the best you got.
will melt you have been performing terrific stand up comedy for so many decades. It's always been an honor to have you as a friend and as a comic on my stages in recent years. I as a guest on my podcast. What is something you've written recently? Anything new you're working on?
Well, yeah, dating in your 60s? You know, I won't I won't date women that aren't my age. I don't want to explain supplemental insurance again. I really don't
know. Yeah, that could be a problem. That could be a real date. You know, mood killer.
Yeah. And of course, daylight savings time is coming, which means I have to reposition my sundial again. And I forget I forget if I if I nudge it dial wiser counter dial lies in the spring? I don't think so. Yeah, I mean, that's just stuff about dating. I have a pad now. I don't want to talk about that so much right now. And then that's that's a whole nother chunk and another day that you don't mind. You don't mind. I got a I got adult doll myself out.
The Oh, no, no, I totally understand. And I think we'll just have to end it on dating while in your 60s. I think that between that and you naked in a flight paints a pretty picture for the audience. Okay, yeah, yeah. Well, ladies and gentlemen, this has been another fun podcast with my good friend mill table mill. Thanks for sharing some time with us today.
Thanks for having me, Scott. You'd be well
hey, I hope you enjoy Write that short podcast interview with my buddy melt table. Before I end the show, I wanted to share another recording I did. The setup is that Milt Abel was working at Caesars Las Vegas. And they had a big magic show before the comedy show. And the magician had big, you know, four or 500 pound tigers in the show. And so I was asking him about it. And Milt shares this story, I think you'll enjoy. Here we go.
And they would do three comedy shows, I think 710 and midnight, and then they would have a magic show at eight and 9/3, or whatever, whatever fit into that, in between those two magic shows to stay out of competition. The last show began at midnight for the stand ups. And they wouldn't move the cats into their truck to take them to the yard that they spent the day at. Well, you can hear the chains when I was on stage, emceeing or I was the emcee, I think. And you could hear the
chain. And so it got to be this one. Run, that it became a regular thing that I would pull the curtain aside, and they would let the cat you know, look out a chair with the audit. They know they're moving the camera and you want to see him and they knew it was coming. But one night, I said, Oh, they're moving the cat you guys want to see when I see the tiger and they go Yeah, so I go to the curtain part. And as soon as they get close enough, the curtain reaches out. And then
belts, belts, gravity. And I just about fainted. And then you can hear all the stage hands up in the rafters laughing because they had set it up that I was gonna be grabbed from a tiger through this curtain. And, and then of course, I explained to them and I told them I shouldn't have been wearing like river clothes. And in the end, we saw that you saw the cap and it moved out. Yeah, I would do that it'd became a regular thing every night show. I could hear
that James. Maybe they even have a cat that time they scared me.
And what was funny about the story, since the staff was all in on it, it could have been one of the stagehands grabbing your hand pretending it was the tiger and you assuming there's this big 500 pair of Tiger.
Yeah, they couldn't train the tiger to grab the credit like that. No, it was a station that did it.
That's just hilarious that that they pulled that on you. Well, thanks for sharing that story milk. Ladies and gentlemen. Stay tuned. We have more comedy coming up for you next Sunday. Bye.
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