In the name of God, father, son, and Holy spirit. Amen. Please be seated. Okay. This morning is truly like no other Easter. We have celebrated. I think most of us come here today. Tired and worn from a year of the pandemic. Frustrated at some points feeling lost. And as we now begin to move out, perhaps even anxious about what the days after the pandemic are going to be like, as I think about that this morning, I feel like we're still more somewhere between good Friday and Easter.
I find that I relate far more with the. Disciples in that upper room on Easter day than I can with Mary Magdalen, who is leaving to go and tend to the body of Jesus. Because I think about those disciples and I realized that those feelings that I described are probably not far from what they were feeling. They gathered in that upper room and they were afraid. They're afraid of what was outside those doors. They were grieving with.
They had lost, they had no idea despite being told what lay ahead of them with Jesus. And there's another emotion that we don't often talk about. That is so much a part of grief. I can imagine that they felt. Angry angry with Jesus for after leading them for three years and talking about the kingdom of heaven, they sat there and said to themselves, and we'd heard Peter say this earlier. You know, it's not like Jesus tried to avoid the crucifixion. He kind of headed right into it.
And so I can imagine their feelings of anger that morning. And having felt lost and feeling as if they have lost what had anchored them down for three years and not knowing what comes next and what I find interesting about John's gospel. And so often when I hear people preach, it sounds as if that the realization, the acceptance of Christ resurrection came all at once. But let's go back to what we heard. Mary goes down to the tomb to tend to Jesus.
She too is thinking common thoughts that we pick up from Mark's gospel about how are we going to move the tomb away. And she looks inside and sees an empty tomb. She runs back and tells the disciples. They come running back, they look inside the tomb and it is told to us that it is who realizes what has happened yet. At the end of our story, we had right into that upper room where they were hiding in fear. And it is only Mary who at this point, Witnesses the resurrection.
And when she realizes who Jesus is, she grabs onto him and Jesus tells her. And I think she's disappointed. No, you can't hold onto me. And I think about that moment. And I think about the disciples in that upper room, afraid, still unsure. And I think about the experience of this year for each and every one of us, because as we moved into the darkness of the pandemic last year, Like the disciples, losing Jesus who grounded them, who gave them a sense of purpose and direction.
We lost that very thing that gave us a sense of anchoring that, which we turn to for comfort and support and confidence in times of trouble, the church itself. As I heard from one parishioner in the time when we needed it, most the church has let us down that to me are the words that I feel that the disciples were feeling in that upper room that Mary was feeling as she went to tend to Jesus' body. And that many of us have felt this year because we've had to deal with the church being closed.
And yet, what does Mary find out? What will the disciples find out later in the day? Not that Jesus had abandoned them. Not that Jesus or God was gone completely. But he was there for them in a very different way. And we don't get a sense of all the different reactions to the resurrection beyond great joy of Mary. But I can imagine some ways it took the apostles a while to come to accept what they were seeing. And I think about it almost in terms of the two year old.
Who after dad or mom has been gone for a week on a business trip or whatever. And after spending the whole week asking when mom or dad is going to come back, when that parent finally comes back, you expect that they're gonna jump into their arms to greet them, but instead, what do they do? They hold back. They don't necessarily trust. But that parent is really there to stay because in their mind, for that time they were gone, it felt as if that parent had to be. Hm. It is that same feeling.
I believe, as Mary is told to let go as the disciples, despite hearing the fact that Christ had risen and had been seen by Mary, go to that upper room. They're not ready to trust. They're not ready to believe that this risen Lord will truly be there from then from that point forward. I think many of us are in that same place. As we reopened the church, we asked the question, will it be there now, longterm, will it continue?
Will this vaccine that we're receiving truly take care of preventing us from being sick? And so like the disciples locked in the room, we're going to venture out slowly. We're going to take our time. Some are ready to come back. Just as Mary was ready to grab onto Jesus and others are going to lay back much in the same way. We'll hear next week of doubting Thomas until they feel secure, ensure that all is well, that God is truly with us again, and God will not fail us. But here is the good news.
Whether we jumped to grab onto Jesus has married it. Whether we hold back, locked in an upper room until he appears whether he wait until we can touch his wounds, or even if we're disbelieving, he will greet us on that road to amaze us. He will find us in that upper room. He will even find us on the waters of Galilee. And when we are ready, He will be there to welcome us and to assure us that he has been with us all along, even though it may not have felt like it.
And he will continue to be with us throughout our journey on this earth and to the kingdom itself. Alia Christ truly is risen. The Lord is risen. Indeed. Amen.