Ep 14: The Politics of Perseverance - Featuring Taylor Townsend

picture about the origin story. In two thousand and two, the late Johnny Cochrane, who famously got oj Simpson acquitted for double murder, and civil rights attorney Cyrus Mary, who won huge discrimination lawsuits against Texaco and Coca Cola. They

threatened to sue the NFL for racial discrimination. Now, what drove Cochrane and Mary to threaten the NFL with the lawsuit was the firings of Tony Dungee, who was then the coach of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, and Dennis Green, who was fired even though he had made the playoffs eight of nine seasons as head coach of the Minnesota Vikings.

the nineteen ninety nine NFC Championship Game. Now, before Dungee became the coach, the Bucks had only made the playoffs three times in seasons, and as a franchise, had a thirty percent win percentage with the championship roster. The Bucks won the Super Bowl the season after Dungee was fired with John Grutin, who during his seven seasons in Tampa only made the playoffs twice after winning the Super Bowl and finished with a sixty to fifty.

Professional Football Association. It would be sixty eight years before the NFL had another black head coach, Artchell, who took over for the Raiders in nineteen eighty nine. When the Roomy Rule was adopted in two thousand and three, the NFL only had five black.

given a fair shot. Now, since this current administration is insistent on weaponizing DEI and dragging us back to the days of whites only, should the Rooney rule be the next casualty? Is it time for it to go? Let's ask the important question. Is the lack of black and minority coaches an issue of race? Let me give you

the definition of systemic racism. According to Merriam Webster, it means the oppression of a racial group to the advantage of another, as perpetuated by inequity within interconnected systems such as political, economic, and social systems. In twenty twenty two, the Washington Post did a special investigative report called how the NFL blocks Black coaches. It is a thorough and

comprehensive report back by data. Some of the conclusions drawn from this report are these, black coaches tend to perform about as well as white coaches, but while white candidates are offered a vast and diverse set of roots to the league stop coaching jobs, black coaches face a much

narrower set of paths. They have had to serve significantly longer as mid level assistants, are more likely to be given interim jobs than full time ones, and are held to a higher standard when it comes to keeping their jobs. Since nineteen ninety, black coaches have been twice as likely as others to be fired after leading a team to

a regular season record of five hundred or better. Now, I'm sure, as I'm relaying this data, some of you are riding fast into the comments section to say, it's not about color rays, it's about the best person for the job. Well, was it about the best person for the job? When the NFL went almost seventy years without a black head coach. In the twenty years that passed after the Rooney Rule, only eleven percent of the head coaches hired were black. So does that mean all the

white guys were simply just smarter. Let's not forget the history of the NFL is filled with examples of the league being in lockstep with systemic racism. In nineteen thirty four, George Preston Marshall, the owner of the Washington football team, and by the way, remembering why I'm avoiding using their old nickname another hint. Anyway, George Preston Marshall executed his secret plan to ban black players from the league. It's a history the NFL probably doesn't love to talk about

because Marshall didn't act alone. He convinced other prominent NFL families to join the band, and some of those families still own NFL teams today, the Mars who owned the Giants, and wouldn't you know, also the Boonies. This isn't to say that you can't atone for a racist pass, but how much has the NFL really atoned. There are still five NFL franchises that have never had a permanent black

head coach. We witnessed Colin Kaepernick having his entire career destroyed because he took a knee during the national Anthem to protest against racial injustice. Meanwhile, Nazi salutes by the de facto president, totally cool. It was just in twenty twenty one that the NFL agreed to ban race norming, a practice the league willingly engaged in to deny black retirees' access to the NFL's multi billion dollar concussion settlement. Race norming is the practice of assuming that black players have

lower cognitive abilities. So if a former black player is presumed to have a lower cognitive ability, then it is concluded he has been impaired less due to playing football.

of those sons and fathers. This past hiring cycle, we saw examples of NFL teams engaging in sham interviews to meet Rooney Rule requirements, which mandates that teams interview two external minority candidates for a head coaching position and one external candidate or a coordinator position. To satisfy the Rooney rules, several teams interviewed black candidates that they had no intr

in hiring. The Cowboys, for example, hire Matt Eberflus. They recently fired Chicago Bear's head coach for their defensive coordinator position, and even though there were reports that said Eberflus was their guy, they couldn't make the hire official.

isn't the rule. The problem is that there has been no real punishment for violating the Rooney Rule, at least not a punishment that would make teams and owners think twice about not taking the process seriously. In two thousand and three, the Detroit Lions were fined two hundred thousand dollars for violating the Rooney rule because they didn't interview

a minority candidate before they hireed Steve Marrucci. The Lions didn't lose any draft picks, and today they're the only team that has ever been punished behind the Rooney rule. Former NFL Players Union president D Smith pointed out in a piece for Yale Law Policy and Review, the Rooney Rule isn't a rule, but merely a suggestion because the NFL has no outside entity that determines punishment and owners

simply don't bear any of the consequences. Smith wrote fine should start at five million and escalate for individuals and clubs who violated the adopted system. The reality is that teams do not care about draft picks or minor finds as punishment for violating league guidelines. The proof is that we still have consistent and repeated violation of the Rooney rule process and have not achieved the Roony rules goal.

The NFL uses significant finds to police player conduct both on and off the field, claiming that these finds promote uniformity and protect the NFL product. It is ironic that the league has not adopted a similar zero tolerance fine structure when it comes to achieving a fair and inclusive workplace.

fours and through a painful process. Considering our willingness historically to legislate inequality, it seems we should keep that same energy when it comes to correcting inequality.

on politics, Taylor Downson. All right, Taylor, I am going to start this podcast with a question I ask every guest, and that is, can you name a athlete or a sports moment that made you love sports?

And I just thought that was like the coolest thing, you know, just being able first of all, having someone who's playing a sport the way that I was, that looked like me, that was unapologetically black, you know, wearing braids, you know, constantly were talked about at the early parts of their career, with wearing beats in their hair and

all of the things. But and then to take like fashion risks like that, I thought that was just like the coolest thing because I've never really fit inside of a box, right, So it's like that was just like total rebel moment. Rebel in the tennis world. I don't care, I'm going to do my own thing. And I just thought that was like so cool because it showed me that, like, you could be whatever you want to be. You can

do whatever you want. But it definitely helps that you're winning and that you're kicking everyone's ass and you're number one, you know, it's a lot easier for people to like shut up and just kind of like deal with it, you know. So that for me, that was a moment where it kind of made me really love the ability to not only like play the game and be someone of color who's played the game, but then also like it gave me the confidence to know that I can really express myself in the game.

natural evolution. And then my sister started taking lessons, and I'm the kind of person where it's like, if you're going to do it, I want to do it. And if I can't do it, you can't do it. So uh, for me, it was very much yeah, no, we're if you. If you're doing it, I'm going to do it too. And so she was taking lessons and I was behind the court and I would throw balls at her because I was like, no, this is mine, Like I'm doing it too, right. And so my coach he was like,

get off the court, get off the court. No, wouldn't do it. So he kicked me off the court that day, came back, she said another lesson, came back, did the same thing. Someone put someone give her a racket. Please, somebody give her a racket, like she is getting on our nerves. We don't just please someone help us out. So, long story short, that's how it all started. And here we are. I don't know.

pretty monumentous decision. So how did you kind of get there to say, hey, I got to do this if I want to be really good and really a professional in this sport.

the time, where the two big places. Due to the weather, I hadn't been invited several times to USTA camp so out in California, out down in Florida, and you know, I just felt like, you know, it was a good opportunity. I actually had gotten accepted into the program when I was thirteen, So I was in seventh grade, and three days before I was supposed to leave to go, I told my family, I'm not ready. I had all my

stuff packed. I had all of my close packed bens stacked up and everything, and I was just like, I'm just not ready yet. And so I finished out middle school. So I did my finished out eighth grade year, and then I was like, okay, now I'm ready experienced high school for a month, which was like the most fun that I've had. People like, did you go to school?

I was like, yeah, for a month, and but it was it was it was one of the things where it's like in my head, I was like, Okay, I know that if this is something that I want to pursue, like I want to try, and I knew that financially, my parents weren't going to be able to give me the opportunities to travel to Australia, into France and to all of the places even where the Junior Grand Slams are.

We're talking Australia, Paris, London, and in New York, right, So even if you take those four tournaments, that's a

lot of traveling. It's a lot of money. And so I knew going down to the USCA, I said, you know, I'm going to use their finances to be able to give me opportunities to play and to train, to get proper structure and just kind of like fully dive into you know, the game because up until I was fourteen, you know, I was doing tennis in school, so I was doing school and then would have my left and

everything you know in the afternoons after school. Always education was a huge priority for my for my parents, so that was never that was never an option, you know, to not be educated and to not do well in school.

So you know, that's why it's kind of like crazy to me sometimes where I'm like, Okay, these kids at like six are in academies and doing the things that I was doing at fourteen, they're doing it at six and seven, you know, which is which is kind of crazy to me, but hey whatever, Yeah, So that was

that was really the mentality in the mindset. I just really wanted to give myself an opportunity to see how far I could go with like being fully supported financially and to be able to not have to worry about structure and organization of like I'll have a coach, I'll have fitness, I'll have everything that I need to hopefully, you know, pan out to become a professional. And ironically enough, a lot of the people that I was with in that age range, the guys, a majority of them went pro.

Not all of them, but a majority of them. And on the female side, a lot of the people when I was living on campus, a lot of them went to college and are very successful in their own ways. So, you know, it wasn't always to say all be all that being in that program was going to ensure that that you went pro and that you were going to be successful, But it did give us an opportunity to travel and to you know, have everything that we needed to be as professional as possible.

of unfamiliar with what this grind looks like. As you're coming up and you already mentioned the expense, like what all goes into that when you're trying to become a professional tennis player and have become a professional tenant player and you know you may not have your resources don't look like how a lot of people you're playing against, how what theirs looks like?

you know, doing all the things. A racket costs minimum one hundred to two hundred and fifty dollars just one. A cannon balls is twelve dollars for three balls, you know, one can. Court time is usually on the cheap side,

forty dollars an hour, you know. Then we're talking about privates that are usually one hundred bucks an hour, eighty bucks an hour, and you do those couple times a day, and then you have maybe have group lessons and that's maybe two hundred three hundred bucks a week, you know, so it's and then that's training, right then we have travel, so you have to drive or fly to tournaments. Tournament usually have forty to eighty dollars entry fees. And there's

been a time where I played a professional tournament. In twenty seventeen, I played a pro tournament and I made sixty six dollars minus forty dollars entry fee I drove to the tournament. So I had twenty six dollars that I left to a professional tournament with and I was like, this can't even fill up my gas tape.

if you drove all of the things. So there are so many things that add up, and you could potentially you can lose out on a lot, you know, and in juniors, your parents are fronting this constantly until I mean, if you unless you turn pro or unless you you know, sign to an agency and you get a signing bonus or whatever the case may be. But that's the only way that you're getting or you have sponsors, just the

only way you're getting like upfront money. But if you don't have that, you have to find a way to fut that bill until you start making money. And I can tell you for one hundred percent. In fact, for me, for years, I was in the negative. I could tell you. Twenty nineteen was the first time in my career that I was like comfortably like okay money wise, like and that's because I made the round of sixteen of the US Open, which gave me a really nice, you know,

cushion chunk of money. But up until then, it was constantly like, all right, I gotta this, this what's coming out, and I gotta do this, and I gotta travel here, and you know, being very you know, I don't want to say frugal, because I still am, but you know, very aware and cognizant of ebbs and flows of the finances. Right, So it's it's really hard. This sport is like so it's a it's one of the things that a lot of people don't talk about because it's like they the

narrative of like equal prize money. And they talk about the prize money and the money that people make to like at the top, but you don't understand the pyramid and the trickle down. And it's kind of crazy because the pyramids actually like this, when you go to the top,

the people at the top get the most. So the people at the top who have sponsors, who have all these things, who are typically going deep in tournaments, so making a lot of prize money, they get a lot, like they get hotels for free, you know, cars, transportation

for free. And then as you move down where you're making less money, you get the least, whereas like you really have to pay and really finance and put the bill for like everything that you're doing in your career to try and get to this level, to try and make it to the middle, and then you know, continue to grow. So you know, I feel like I'm very fortunate because I've experienced this game on every level, like

from the very bottom. Like I like for weeks at a time, months at a time, being in the red right, I may I one year. I want three matches in a year, So you can imagine like how much money because I played the entire year, I played a whole season, so you can imagine how much money was going out but not a lot coming in. So I've been at that place where I've been here and worked my way up and went back down, you know, worked my way

through every single level. So I have a true appreciation for like every every level, I have an understanding and I can relate to every person on every level. But then also I have a true appreciation and gratitude like where I am because I'm just like I know where I came from and I know that like it was nothing except hard work and like mental grind and like making a decision and a choice to be like okay, I'm going to change this. That got me out of

those places. You know. So this sport is like it is so so so difficult, and you know it requires it's very it's almost impossible to do on your own. So it's really hard.

I gotta, I gotta, I gotta win. When I made those decisions, then it was like it was a fuel, Like it was a like a fire where it's like, okay, Taylor, like I'm not gonna let this person take food off my plate. I'm not gonna let you take money out of my pocket, you know. And even when I was coming back, I was like, no, you're taking money out of my son's pocket, out of you know, food out

of his place. So it's like I had to find those motivational factors of like how to turn you know, the situation to something where it's like fuel for me, because if you look at it and if you're aware of it constantly, it's so like it's such a downer or it was just like what the hell am I going to do? And I'm so grateful because I've had

people in my corner. Like my coach was like, Okay, I'll pay for my flights, I'll pay for this, I'll pay for that, and then like when you get let's just say, when we go to a Grand Slam and you know you were going to make X amount, then we'll just you can reimburse me, you know. So like I had people where it's like would even foot the bill at the beginning to hopefully, you know, later down

the road. So it's it's also just about like being able to have good people around you that understand because if not, like it's it's so hard, it's so hard, like, yeah, it's almost impossible.

Like not a single number one junior in thirty something years that didn't happen. Like you were winning this, this, this, this, this, this, nobody else was doing that. You want two Grand Slams out of four in a year, Nobody else did that, Like you want Orange Bowl, Easter Bowl, this, Like as a junior, this that, this, that. But I was always trying to like prove myself and be like is this good enough? Is this good enough? Is this good enough?

So in the moment and at the time I didn't see I was just like, Okay, what's next, what's next? What's next? And it's so crazy how those experiences shaped like who I am now. Because when I won Wimbledon, I threw a trophy party, not because I wanted to party and because like I didn't have time to party, but I did it because I wanted to have my friends and my family with me to force me to

acknowledge the accomplishment that I made. Taylor, you just won Wimbledon double singles I don't care, you just want you can look and you can open up this green case and there is a trophy which your name on it that says wimbleding, Like that is a big deal. And because of my experiences, I would have just been like, Okay, well I have to do this and this and this and this, and like okay, that was cool, that was fun,

but what's next? And I forced myself to not do that because of like my experiences in the past, you know, So like the moment, I honestly didn't realize the things that I've accomplished until like I'm this age and even now, like I had to really I didn't really do it, so it's kind of on my list of things, but like really sit down and marinate in like the season I had, like you did that, like you did these things, you know, and like it's I realized the importance and

the value of that for me now to be able to like fully acknowledge and embrace the things that but then it gives me motivation for like the next, the next, the next and next, you know, so instead of like just being like Okay, I got do this and this and this, like no, you accomplish this. This is how you did it. Okay, how we're gonna get better. So it's like it's a much more healthy process. But you know,

I didn't realize that I was good. You know, I didn't realize that I was doing extraordinary things because it wasn't celebrated, it wasn't acknowledged, it wasn't you know, it wasn't really it didn't feel special. So because it didn't feel special, like I didn't think that I was doing anything special, and this was the environment that I was in at all times, you know. So yeah, I don't know. And I just actually talked about this with my coach today.

I was like, I'm the kind of person who I have to prove it and I have to see it before Like I don't see it beforehand, I have to do it. And that tells me that I know that it is you know what I mean. So like I'm there's one of the things that I have to work on because it's like a lot of the battles start here. You have to know before you get out there and start doing things. So it's one of the things that I'm still working on to this day. I'm being honest with.

with a lot of self doubt. I mean, this is amazing for me to hear you say that, given that you were number one in the world as a junior, something that hadn't been accomplished. I believe Lindsay Davenport was the last American before you did it. And this year, you know, you win Wimbledon and doubles. I mean, that's like there's points zero zeros are a one percent of people who actually get to do that, and you are, you know, sort of one of one of the fuse.

But going back to your time as a singles player, not that that part of your career is over, but when you were in juniors, I have to say I was really flabbergasted because I was unaware you went through quite a battle with the USTA regarding some body shaming that they did.

and on a very public stage. When you reflect back on that time in your life, what is it that you're struck by in terms of how you handle dealing with such you know, frankly a level of public humiliation.

I didn't even know was going to happen externally and internally. Externally, the catalyst effect was every single time that I stepped on the court, that was always a topic of conversation. So whether I was playing well, if I was playing well, like my movement, my breathing, everything was hyper analyzed because

of how I looked. So if I lost a little weight, or if I was not bloated from my cycle, or if I seemed or appeared smaller or more fit than people would attribute me playing well to that and the end eternal battle that happened was I was always questioning, looking and trying to figure out what people were saying.

I became aware because the thing is, it's like I've always been a bigger girl, so like as a kid, I wasn't aware of it, because it's just like I'm just playing right, and if I'm playing and I'm doing what I'm supposed to do and I'm winning, Like how I was taught and grown up, how I grew up was like, it doesn't matter. I'm kicking ass, So you can say whatever you want to say. The number speaks for itself, right, The trophy speak for yourself, so you

can say whatever you want, right. So that was the mentality. But when I got older and started dealing with when that became something that became aware of, I was like, oh my god. So then I started trying to figure

out what people were saying. You know, social media was new, so you know, then people having access to you worldwide on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram didn't exist back, but you know, Twitter, Facebook, all of these things, and I felt like I always had to defend myself, you know, And it was just like, no, it wasn't I didn't play a good match because I just played really well, or I executed my strategy or whatever. Or I broke my opponent down. No, I did it

because I was more fit. Or I lost because I got tired. No, I didn't get tired. Maybe I was making too many errors I was doing. This was so it was always a tie. And so I was proud of the way that I didn't allow the media and everyone else to tell my story. I was like, no, this is what happened, but I'm here, and I basically consciously like redirected everyone to like, no, this is what

I'm doing now, Oh, this is what's happening. No, that's cool, that's fine, But in the midst of it, it was a lot that I have had to ravel because it was like a lot of my identity. And this happens a lot in sports, especially when you play and you become you've been engulfed at such a young age, your identity becomes wrapped up in the sport, so it's very hard to differentiate, like you as a person versus you as an athlete, Like that doesn't come until later, later,

where you know, hopefully later. For me, that came, that divergence came when I got pregnant because like I had to step away, Like I have never had any injuries that took me away from the sport for more than you know, a couple of weeks if that, you know. The injury that I had this year pre French Open was the first time I've ever like had to withdraw from a tournament due to an injury, so like in eleven almost twelve years on tour, So that can say something.

So that divergence didn't happen of like until I got pregnant and I was away for almost twenty months, and I'm like, okay, who am I Because this is not this isn't this isn't important right now because I can't do it. I can't play tennis. I'm not out on the court. I'm not competing. I'm not playing, Like, so

this doesn't matter, so like who are you? And so like I was proud of the way that I handled that, and even today, like, you know, it's really cool because a lot of people, you know, they say, oh, I admire your strength and all this stuff, and but it is it does take strength and it's hard, but you know,

it's also growth. And I think that the cool thing is like, which is why a lot of people like rock with me or even my fans are like stay down because they know, like we've been following this person from this from the time she had braces and bows

in her hair to like all the way through. So it's like it is a true appreciation for like, just the same way that I have an appreciation for where I am, I think other people have an appreciation for being able to see how much that I've grown and how I've been able to maneuver through these types of situations.

black women, how their bodies are analyzed. I know Serena Williams knows something about this because she went through some of the same things with people in the media, which really, you know, as a member of the media, is kind of embarrassing. I was like, it ain't like we out here all in shape and we got Yeah.

so excited to go home. I hadn't been home in ten months. So I was so excited to see my dad, my sister, everyone, and someone was like, yeah, you're excited to go back to your cage. You like fat monkey, like black monkey, and just like tweet tweet tweet tweet, like so one after the other after the other. After I was like, so, Dad, I remember like in that moment, I'm just like wow, I'm literally just talking about how

I'm excited to go see my family. And this is the response, Taylor, you can't make everybody happy, like you can't, Like it's impossible. It's impossible for you to think that you can do things to please everyone. So and I remember thinking, I'm like in this moment, I'm like fuck these people. It's like literally that's what I said. I was with it.

like doing too much. But it's like I really have gotten to the ploor where I'm just like I just don't care, Like I know the people that's in my circle, the people that love and care about me, and they know who I am. What you say doesn't matter, like and it's even worse now because it's like you got these Internet trolls that literally sit and do this all day long and like search for stuff like this is

your job, Like you have no life. So I'm out here actually trying to do something and be someone and putting myself out there consistently constantly, like I'm not hiding in the shadows. It could have been easy for me to go no, no, no, no, I'm not doing like I'm front facing. So it's like that takes courage, that

takes bravery. And there was no body positivity movement, so like how it is now where there's body positivity inclusion, like inclusion in commercials, clothing brands, all of these different type of stuff. I don't identify as a plus sized woman. I'm just bigger than what everyone else is, and like I have a different body shape. I have a different body type. I was looking at my doubles partner's legs and my legs and I'm like, I as my coach, I said, oh, I likeingly that big. Well, her legs

is super small. I was like, I know, it's not that. Like it was like this and like this. I was like, oh my god. It was a picture room standing side by side. I was like, okay, this was like wimbled in this. Yall was like, okay, I know that it's

not like that. So it was no, it was no body positivity movement during that time where it was just like this was some first of all, something I was talked about, something that was accepted, where it was just like there was a mental acceptance of like especially in sport, of like different shapes and sizes that can still be effective, you know, not saying that like I can't be better, get better, be more in shape, get more fit, get

more ripped up. Of course I can, yes, But so I'm not naive to the fact of like I know the areas in which I need to progress, but that doesn't make me any less or worse or whatever the case may be. So it was just a lot of things where it's just like during and in the times, like we're talking ten years ago, like we're in the time. These things didn't no, not even twelve years ago, like anger, yeah,

twelve thirteen years ago, Like these topics didn't exist. So it was something where I felt like I was kind of like having to forge like through on my own and you know, doing it at sixteen, like as a teenager, all types of things to change, and like it was just it was crazy time. It's crazy work. But honestly I appreciate it because it honestly it's made me like who I am. And it also again just to kind of circle back, taught me how to deal with tough

shit like from a public front facing standpoint. So I was like, OK, if I can deal with that or people call me fat this that, and the third like I can deal with whatever else. Like the other stuff is is like this.

don't even go back and look at that stuff. Like I've seen old pictures and there are times when I'm like why people using these pictures, Like I don't even look like that. But it's like I don't even go back. But if I do it, or if I see it and it comes up, I'm just like no. Like whatever they was talking about, should I pay money to get back I.

get over that they didn't anticipate. The postpartum looks different for you, so overall, like for your experience, particularly in post pregnancy, how did you handle putting the pressure on yourself to you know, because we live in snapback culture, how did you handle that aspect of it in terms of dealing with your body and the changes it was going through.

they breastfed, right. I breastfed my son for a year, so that automatically is different boobs out to here. You know, like in six months, I was a stay at home I'm for seven months straight, Like, I did not pick up a racket, go to the gym or nothing until my son. I didn't start going to the gym until my son was seven months because like, but I made that decision for myself because I was like, I want

to know what it's like to be a mom. I don't want to put the pressure on myself to have to go do anything, Like I want to have a solid foundation with my son, understand him, so that because I understand my mom, like I can't do this alone, Like I can't think that I can take him to practice and practice for two or three hours with no interruptions.

It's not possible. So I know I need help. So I'm going to have to have someone that comes in, and I want to be able to explain to this person this is the tendencies, this is how he acts, this is what to look for, da da da da, And if there's something outside of that that they tell me, then I know that there's something outside of that, you know. So I wanted to that was more important to me

than anything in the world. So and it worked out well for me, Like that's okay, But yeah, the snapback culture is crazy, like it's it's so like to me, it's unrealistic. But what gives me the motivation and the strength is that the work that I had to put into just like just step back out on this sport. Like I said, I made a proclamation to myself that I said, I will not return back to play until unless I'm better than I was when I was leaving.

If I'm not better, I'm not coming back until I'm better. So I made that proclamation to myself. I didn't know how long I was going to take. I didn't know how like what that looked like. I said that and it sounded great, but I didn't know what that meant until I was in it. I was like, oh my god, oh wow, there's a lot of work. But so that's honestly what gives me the strength and like to know, like I had to lose almost one hundred pounds, like

a lot of people don't know that. Like I was huge, and you know, breastfeeding, you know, having to I was. I was waking up at four in the morning to pump before fitness, after working out, pump again, pump before practice. You know, like doing all of these things like I

had to. It was work. It was hard work, and so it gives me so much strength and motivation because I'm like, I know what I did, So it's like there's where it's like it's easy for people on the outside to kind of like diminish things that you've done based on their opinions and things. But I'm like, with this particular situation, I know what I went through, I know what I did, I know the work that I

put in. I know that had a whole day with a baby and I had to find time while he's napping or when he's down in this to get my little workouts in and do what I had to do and starve myself and you know all of the things. Like so there's nothing because there was nobody around. There was no glitz, there was no glamour, there was no observation outside of myself and the people close to me.

So I'm like, I know what I did to be here, So like that fuels me because I know, like, first of all, it's it's I'm grateful to be on the tennis court. I'm grateful to be here because like even for me, I had a fantastic pregnancy emergency sea section out of nowhere. Didn't expect that, didn't whatever, but it had to happen.

to bring everything to me up. Like it was really really hard psychologically as well, because I'm a very self I'm an independent person, you know, so for me psychologically, like I can't tell how many times I broke down because it's just like I don't like asking for help, So even psychologically, how many times I had to be like can you help me? Can you help me? Can you help me? Then I started feeling guilty for how many times I had why do you go to the bathroom? Now?

I need to be again? You know, It's just like it was hard, like psychologically for somebody who is independent, who's been doing things on their own since they're fourteen years old, like to have to ask to do everything. It is very difficult. And even with that, then it was just like, okay, I remember going outside. Finally cool, three weeks, finally can go outside. I wasn't scared to go up or down the steps because they were like, be careful with that because you can rip the stitches,

and then that's a whole other problem. No, thank you. So finally go outside, all right, take the baby on the walk. Okay. I made it to the stop side at the end of the block that's three houses, one, two three. I was like, shit, I'm tired. And it was like I turned around, turned tollaid. Damn, I gotta go back. I gotta make it back. You went down, you gotta get back. Oh okay, let me take a great hold on.

a completely different feeling. That's completely different motivation. Also, a big thing that motherhood has changed is the fact that losses or wins aren't so you know more so losses like losses aren't so bad because I know it's not the end of the world. Before it was like I was sold for two days, three days, like just feeling bad, you know whatever. But now it's like I can call and be like, hey, mommy, you're doing great. You did

so good, you look so nice. And Aj is like he's so like in touch with his feelings and emotions, so he'll just like be like, mommy, I love you. So it's like, even with that, it gives me the ability to kind of like not sit in things so long. You can feel it, but it's just like, okay, I can move. It helped me to move on faster, and it's super special because just like I know that like

even when I'm done. That was another scary thing. I didn't know what I was going to do when I was done playing tennis, because again, identity and sense of self is so wrapped up and you're on court and who you are in this world right, So I didn't know. But then now I'm just like, it has given me the motivation to be like, Okay, there's so many things that I want to do, and you know, even looking forward to just being home and spending time with my child,

like that's enough for me, you know. So it's definitely changed my perspective in terms of like what's important, you know, And I realized I'm not saying that tennis is less important, but it's just.

You know, Kim Kleiser's was the first one to have kids come back win a slam, and it was I remember that, and I remember watching and when she brought her daughter on this on the court like on ash during her trophy ceremony, I'm like, well, that's so cool, like imagine I couldn't imagine back think so I was so young. And also I didn't, to be honest, I didn't want kids. So it's kind of like a crazy thing where like so maternal. I did not want kids.

I was like, when I'm done playing, I wouldn't be able to have my time to do what I want, like you know, we travel, we do all this stuff, Like I just want to freedom, right. So I think that it's a work in progress. Now that it's happening more and more, I think that it's something where they

can't deny it. And you know, so they have you know, daycares or they call them crushes at the tennis sites where you can you know, basically bring your kid and leave them for the day and you know, they have helped to be able to you maybe give room preferences or bigger room options if you're going to have your

child with you. So it's like let's just say you have to pay way way way more for a suite or for you know whatever, like maybe there's more options to have those available if you're bringing your child with you. You know, I'm an executive member of the PTOPA, and that's a big, you know, kind of focus for them is being able to help represent you know, all athletes and the athletes being moms as well. So you know,

there's not a great system for insurance. You know, there's not a great system for making sure that you're taken care of and if it's fine for the player, but if you want to add someone as expensive as hell, you know. So it's like if you're traveling internationally with a child, you want to make sure that they're covered if anything were to go wrong. So there's definitely parts that are being addressed, but there are a lot of

other things that I feel like can be better. And you know, whether it be financial support, whether it be whatever the case may be, where it's like you know their specific situation because being a being getting pregnant is like a unique scenario and situation to only women and to like this small subset of people. Right, So it's not something that you can fake or you know, you can fake an injury or say I'm hurt to get

time off, right, This is not something like that. So you know, I feel like there can be other things or other initiatives put in place to kind of help bring make it easier, you know, for me, Like personally, I travel a lot on my own because I don't feel like it's easy or there's a ease about traveling with a child, you know. And again, and like I said, I'm very fortunate because I have an amazing I have help,

and you know it's not free, but it's fantastic. But you know, even with that, I got a grant while I was pregnant or like right after I got pregnant with or right after I had AJ from the Women's Sports Foundation for twenty thousand and it was through an initiative with Alison Felix and the Women's Sports Foundation, And you know, I put that towards my nanny, and I was just like this was so helpful because it's like, you know, I'm not playing, I'm not making any money.

I don't have sponsors, so it's just like I didn't have any residual income. So to be able to receive something like that was like huge for me because that was able to take a lot off of my plate for at least a little bit of top for some months. Right.

So even having initiatives putting him in like that through our organizations or through sponsorships of the organizations like that be really helpful because so many things fall on us as athletes and as players, Like there's very few things that are taken care of by the tournaments, by the tours, So to be able to kind of like offset some of those costs that you that you have when you're away from the game for however long, then that could

be really helpful. And also it can help to not feel like I have to rush to get back.

minute break. But I found out that she had was in the studio like all night, so she had came from the studio, didn't sleep, came from the studio to the set to shoot, so she was like exhausted. So I was just like, okay, Like I get it because I had the whole list. I was like, we about to do running drills, we about to do lunges and all this type of stuff, right, let's like just throw it all in. So yeah, I definitely saw. I'm like, okay, like sports is not her thing, Normani, she's an athlete.

And then when I talked to her, I'm like, what did you do? She's like, yeah, did gymnastis and I played this and I was like, Okay, that makes sense because the things that I was telling her, like her body awareness and her hand eye corners, like she was able to get it fast. And one of the things I was the most impressive was with the serve because that's not easy, like to be able to time like the ball going up, coming down and then when you

hit and like she got it quick. So I was just like, okay, like she's an athlete, CARTI No, We're gonna stick to music and dancing and making sure that she keep telling us her hair routine because she got fabulous inches. We need that.

same way. Is this something I've been doing for years? Like you get you can train yourself to be better at certain things, right, so like breathing or knowing how to do certain things like when you're performing. But I'm like to be able to run or like do side to side or coordinate watching something coming hitting, like it's just you know, it's it's different. I was just like, how do you how are you so tired?

twenty four was a great year for you. I'm sure there's way more of that to come, more success, So continue to keep doing what you're doing and being a voice like you know, the way that you have advocated for yourself and by extension, advocated for others is really quite admirable.

of people were just hurt. Now, I live in Los Angeles and I can personally attest that Snoop does a lot of work in our community. This isn't a question about whether or not Snoop loves black people or if he's ashamed of being black. He does love black people

and he is not ashamed of being black. This is a question of whether Snoop and Nelly understood that in this moment when the community they are both so connected to is trying to process what this presidency means and understanding that our community, our elders, our young people, our working class people will be disproportionately impacted by a president who is moving the way this one is moving. We need people in their positions to hold the line. Hey, Nellie, listen.

I admire and respect the military as well, but showing your love of country doesn't mean blind loyalty. And if you feel that strongly about the military, you can always go perform at any military base you Performing there both of you is almost a sanction in a high five to this president. And no disrespect to Sojio boy, which means I'm about to disrespect soldier boy, but I expect him to be the rapper and take a check from Trump. That wasn't my expectation of smooth and melo. Thank you,

Kyra for your question. As for the rest of you, if you would like to ask me a question, I'm at Jamail Hill across all social media platforms Twitter, Instagram, Bluesty and threads, please use the hashtags politics. You also have the option of emailing me at Politics twenty twenty four at gmail dot com. You can also send me a video of your question, but please make sure it's

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