Dungeon Crawler Carl, Chapters 32-36

decided to save answering it until I was recording. I'm wondering if you're enjoying the book. Also, I wonder how much enjoyment must change when you do it for a job. Yeah, so first, I'm loving the book. I am having a great time. Definitely. I am very lucky with my commissions that there have been almost no duds at all. I won't say there have been none, there have definitely been

a couple. There was a series that started to get commissioned for me at the very beginning of doing this that got dropped because it became so clear how much I hated the main character, and that was Iron Druid. Apparently one of those series that a lot of people feel if you like Dresden Files, then you will also like this. I didn't. I feel like Harry Dresden is written to be a lot more likable than the thousand year old Druid, who was insufferable. So that was a dud.

But most of the time I have been very lucky that my listeners have great taste and they are really eager to share things that moved them, and that's what they want to spend their money on, and that usually means something that is really really worth the time. But oh sorry, Michael says, Iron Druid was very wish fulfillment. Yeah, Iron Druid. The thing that kept getting me about that series was how immature the main character was. For being a thousand years old, he felt like he was twenty,

just a regular old human of twenty years old. There was no feeling of real wisdom to him that you would have to accumulate after some time on Earth, and that always played a part in the plot, was him just being a fucking fool, and I just couldn't get on board. You can't have a main character be that old and not have them be really intelligent to a degree that you have to change the whole way you're writing your stories, which the author was not interested in doing.

Rob says apropos of that. Then do you have a list that you keep of your bests. I don't have a list, but I definitely do have, like my mental tally my number one unfinished series. Unfortunately it's not finished. But the books that I covered that really, by far have taken over my brain are the Ninth House and hell Bent books by Lee Bardugo. You guys, I cannot

recommend those books enough. They are some of the most spectacularly accurate to life and also fantastical books I've ever read, with some of the most brutal plot elements, but also moments of such deep satisfaction that you just want to like stand up and like pound your chest and yell because you're just like, yeah, fucking do it that kind of vibe. So highly highly recommend Ninth House and Hellbent, but only if you are prepared to wait for the

third book, which isn't even forthcoming. We don't have a date, Sorry, everybody. I don't want to take over this episode with just talking about I will say though, for right now. Dungeon Crawler Carl is definitely like in my top ten that I have covered so far. There are certainly, though, times where something that starts off on the top of my list over time begins to fall. So I don't want anybody to hold me to this. I may change my

mind eventually, who knows. But right now I am having a really good time and it's like different enough because of the structure of it from other things that it's really keeping my attention in this way as well. Sorry, oh, they're still talking at Michael's mentioning Iron Druid. I had trouble with a dog just being completely sentient as well. It doesn't play as well as Donut does for whatever reason.

Agree the dog. It was the kind of thing this happens a lot when you just decide to make a pet talk Donut there is a childlike quality to her that makes her still feel like she needs Carl. But the dog, I can't remember his name. Wasn't it like Oberon or something? He uh? There was just always this sort of vibe of like Oberon can just do with or without his guy, It doesn't matter. He's basically like a full person, you know, Rob says oh Man. Ninth

House is so good. I want Gideon Nabs my inner monologue. And then damn, that's not the same Ninth House. I don't know which one you're talking about, but yeah, the Ninth House by Lee Bardugo is. I mean, you guys, just strap in that. That is one of those books that the more I read, the more I kept being like,

how does she keep doing this? Like she just she would these these descriptions that she describes at one point, the like trees and the fact that there are buds beginning to form as like rings on a gnarled old woman's fingers. Just like little moments like that that I'm just like they stuck in my brain as being so evocative and correct. And then the plot, the pace is beyond belief. It's just she just keeps fucking rolling and the stakes keep getting higher even though you don't think

they can. And I just by the time I finished the second book, it was like I was out of breath. It was that kind of energy. So anyway, okay, okay, okay, start talking about this. Chapter thirty two begins with the the discovery of these fucking creatures I don't even know, like when we first see them, and they are described

as unvaccinated. I had my suspicions the direction that we were going in, right of course, but I was like, I don't know, maybe I didn't check to see what year this was written, so that was part of it. I wasn't really sure if the vibe was different when it was written than it was now, because there are certain things where the timing of it totally changes the

context and therefore the intent of the author. And I was afraid to look up published dight because sometimes you just start to type in the type I've a thing, and it'll be like, you know, dungeon Crawler, Carl Donuts, terrible Death. We'll just autofill and it's like, oh, thanks great. So I just didn't want to even try it. But it's also, I have to admit, very difficult for me to fully comprehend that the start of the pandemic was at this point almost five years ago, because I can't.

I just that doesn't make any sense. Time is insane. So I kept thinking, like, the way I'm interpreting this has to be too recent, because I wasn't understanding really like how long ago this could have been written and that still makes sense. And chloricons are distant hillbilly relatives of the Leprechauns. And while the Leprechauns are said to guard vast piles of gold, the only thing Chloricons might hoard are polaroids of their own sisters sitting on the

can and questionable business schemes. This particular sect of the unvaccines of the unvaccinated variety. Don't let them sneeze on you. Warning this is a fairy class mob. Mobs of this class inflict twenty percent more damage against you due to your goblin pass. So these guys are actually quite easy

to kill. But obviously, with Carl being possibly more prone to getting infected than Donut, he can't loot the bodies the way that she can, so she has to go and get the stuff like and she also he gives her the option to try her raise the dead spell, and she manages to do this and make it rip apart its friends, which is super gross. Both of them almost throw up when they see it doing the thing

that she told it to do. Each of them has a clay jug of something called toilet grade moonshine don'na said. They have slingshots and stones on them as well, And we get this bizarre flashback. It's not even a flashback, it's just really a memory. I remembered my dad finding my sling shot. He and his friends played with it, breaking the band. He'd promised he'd get me a new one. He never did. I mean, I like just the idea that your father is basically the equivalent of like a

shitty little brother. I there's a lot. It's interesting. Actually, there's a lot of stories out there with female protagonists who have a mother that they kind of feel they need to be the adult for. And I've always related deeply to that because my mother had me when she was so young, and I grew up hyper aware of how fragile she was in some ways due to that,

and like very protective of her. And eventually when people who knew me met my mother, I had more than one adult, like a teacher say to me, it's so strange. You feel like you're older than her, which is correct. That's how it's always felt. So I know this feeling very well in the context of mother daughter relationships, but this kind of vibe with a father's son is less of a thing, the father son relationship being like straight

up abusive. You see that a lot, and this is clearly he was abusive, but a lot of the memories that Karl has that we have gotten so far are less like straight abuse and more just neglect and general like shittiness in a way that feels really immature. And I'm really really curious about this because I feel like this has to inform Carl's personality in a particular way

that we haven't fully gotten to see yet. And I'm really interested to eventually see what that's going to look like, because Carl is, like, we know that he is somebody who is going to try very hard to do the right thing. We have already seen that with the elderly people and the way he's reacting to them. We know how he feels about bullies, and I am feeling like that may wind up being a big part of what drives him a little bit further on into things. But

you know, we'll get there. So I loved this. A pamphlet entitled rev Up, Make Money, Be your own Boss, Move to the next floor down a y'all. I really enjoy this. This is look so so many books have their like little ways of making fun of pyramid schemes or the energy of like getting ahead and out smarting the system. And the thing about like why it's so easy to make fun of is the fact that the

system is not designed for you to outsmart it. It's designed to trick you into thinking that you are outsmarting it, thus falling prey to it and looking down on other people who are also prey to it. Because you believe you've somehow cracked a code and they don't know the code. You also don't know the code. They just want you to feel like you're better than them, because dividing us is the best way to conquer us. That's really all

it is. But the fact that this MLM, which they keep saying, it's not a pyramid and I love Donut, It's like it says, right there, it's not a pyramid, so it's not a pyramid. I love donut skullibility. It's like, this is a really fun character trait of hers. It would be so easy to make Donut, especially as a cat character. Making her sort of a snob is something that is a sort of go to personality trait when you make a cat be able to talk and communicate.

But a lot of times that snobbery is translated by the author into a sarcasm and shrewdness, maybe even a cynical quality, and I really enjoy that's not quite present with her. She is a snob in a very specific, like a privileged way, but not in like a wise to the world kind of way, and that just gives a lot more room to the author to have fun

with her and have her juxtaposed against Carl. So I just think that he is playing Donut really well because talking about Ober and the sentient dog in this other series and why he just isn't as much fun when the animal just seems straight up smarter than your main character in a lot of ways. I get that you think you're being subversive, but it's not really. That's sort of what often happens. You need your little character, your animal character, to have something that makes them still vulnerable

beyond just their physical vulnerability of being smaller and more fragile. So, also getting back to the MLM, we find out later there is something at the bottom of this pamphlet about these drinks, these these smoothies rev up smoothies, portable, delicious, invigorating. The entire line was crossed out with discontinued written under it, and we find out later that the smoothies are composed of moonshine plus the body of a dead fairy blended together.

I just feel like that's very significant. It's sort of like easy to just be like, oh, yeah, that's just a mechanic of the game, because this is what we're being led to, is that you do something really gross to get the perk of this, you know. But I think that there is something else happening here with the fact that, like these fairies work for a company that

literally used to sell their parts as a smoothie. That does ring a little true to hyper capitalism, as like, oh yeah, you can like you cracked the code they used to prey on you and blend you into smoothies and now you're the boss. Oh honey, is that even true? Like, I just there's there's something there and I can't totally put words to like what it is, but I just feel like there's more of a story in this than

we are given time to unpack. And uh, it's obviously they're not the ones in charge, even though they are clearly like middle management, they have to be aware what the recipe used to be. So my assumption is kind of we used to be killing and blending you to sell you, as you know, something to stave off this disease. But for whatever reason, we can't do that anymore. So instead of literally killing you for sale, we will make you our middle management and exploit you in a less

brutal but ultimately similar way. You know what I'm saying. Anyway, I am just I've got my eye on it, that is all I'm saying. So, of course, Doughnut, do you think we can become consultants? And he is like, girl, oh my god, got you gotta stop. As we finished our circle of the outer ring of the quadrant, I was forced to kill one of the Chloricons with a

punch to the head. Doughnut missed a shot, and the little monster came running right at me, impossibly fast, and he defends himself too slowly, and it's head caved in. And when I opened my hand, my fingers were covered with a lime green oily residue. Warning you've been infected with the taint. Having the taint is like having the giggles, or like having the time of your life. But instead of being a good thing, you are balancing on the precipice of death. You may not heal your health using

any method while you are inflicted with the taint. And Carl reacts quite poorly to this. Uh, I was genuinely scared. I had received something that was going to kill me on its own. The de buff wasn't a big deal. I simply had to wait it out. I suspected it was part art of a one to two punch. They first inflicted you with the taint, then they hit you with something else that seeped your health away. If that was the case, it didn't matter. These guys were only

level three. They were dangerous. So this is when he starts looking at the moonshine and Uh. Jugs of this concoction are highly sought after by the drinking established this Oh my god, you guys, I cannot I get ahead of myself as I'm reading, and my tongue just starts to read ahead as well before I'm actually done, And

so I combine words in these highly improbable ways. Jugs of this concoction are highly sought after by the drinking establishments that populate the third, sixth, ninth, twelfth, fifteenth, and

eighteenth floors. Very very specific drinking A swig defined as one point five ounces of this potion will immediately cause you to gain the shit faced deep buff has a fifty percent chance to render you blind for period of thirty hours, a five percent chance to immediately kill you, and a forty five percent chance to permanently raise a

random stat by two points. What odds like? Honestly, even though it's insane, I was a little still tempted, not gonna lie, and he decides that he is going to create some Molotov cocktails, which results in a new item that's created and named after him, Carl's jug a Boom, and I love how he is described created by an unstable pantsless man who talks to a cat. Carl's jug a Boom takes the bigger is better approach when it comes to Hobgoblin fire bottles burns hotter, bigger, and faster

than your normal Molotov cocktail. The use of a standard torch instead of a cloth wick makes these devices much more stable. Just don't drop it once it's lit, lest

you find yourself doing a joan of our impersonation. And she, like Donah, is super excited that this is named after him in a way that Carl isn't, But of course she would be, and he is like, I really hope that everybody doesn't see it like that, whereas personally I was sort of like, I don't know, man, it might be kind of fun to develop this weird like reputation before people meet you, and then they're like, wait, you're

Carl jug a boom? Carl? Is that you? So they test one out and the thing just like makes such an inferno that they have to back away several times because it just keeps getting bigger. Most of the jugs were already about three quarters full, which was good. I didn't have to waste any of the moonshine. Out of curiosity, I examined the jugs in my inventory and compare their value to my other explosive devices. The jugs were pretty

high on lie list, just above the smoke bombs. The full, unaltered jugs of moonshine were more valuable, however, in fact, they were near the top of my list, just above the engineer's table I still had. And I couldn't help but think about how I would react if I saw that they made this great weapon, but they also were super valuable just as moonshine. It would be very difficult to get myself to use them as Molotov cocktails. I have to admit it would just be too I think

I might hoard them, I really do so. We finally came across a new type of mob just outside of the boss room. There wasn't any sort of giant machinery, but a tube ran along the ceiling, curving into what looked like a filthy aluminum bathtub. There were piles of bottles, empty and full. The snock covered Level threes were taking the jugs and tipping them into the tub to fill them up. At the far end of the room was a doorway guarded by a pair of small floating creatures.

These weren't Chloricons, but small fat fairies who buzzed about with a pair of hummingbird wings. They looked like miniature winged soccer moms. Lambanac rev Up Consultant Elites Level six, the second tier of the rev Up Empire. These Laminac consultants don't need to speak to a manager. They are the managers. They run their business with a brutal efficiency. It is said that if one of their underlings falls behind on their sales quotas, they punish them by requiring

them to take a sip of their own product. Those that survive are repurposed as workers for the filling room, or worse, as still engineers working directly under Krakaren herself, and he comes up with a plan here with Donut using her spell to jump over there. The two biggest problems with donuts puddle Jumper spell was the cool down and manocost one cast. She couldn't do it again for five hours, which meant once she was in that room,

she couldn't teleport it out. Secondly, it costs twenty manipoints, which reminder, she can't drink manipotions for like two full minutes between them. So he basically tells her, if you get in trouble, you just have to run, but we're going to do our best. And what she has to do is go in there and use her charm on everybody to get them to leave and follow them into a room where Carl can attack them using one of these juggo booms. Every time I say it, it just

feels like a little bit like a slur. I don't know why. And the thing that is interesting a little bit later is that Carl feels that using her ability to attack these creatures is a little bit unsavory. I think that's the word he uses, and what I thought he meant was more like, I don't like like. It's one thing to come in and just be ready to kill people and honestly say to them, yeah, that's what

we're here for, is to kill you. It's another thing to pretend to be somebody's friend and act like you want to help and then turn on them, which I

still would understand. I really would get it. But it turns out he really means is that once they get to know people, it's more difficult to see them as a just straight up faceless enemy because they say things that humanize them, which is exactly the thing about the way that war works is that you have to dehumanize the enemy in order for a lot of people to be able to do the job they're there for as soldiers.

There's a forgive me for mentioning Black Mirror, which can be a very heavy handed show at times, but there is an episode where there is like this weird alien invasion and all of these soldiers are wearing these particular suits to protect them from some gas or something that these beings allegedly give off and you know, to keep them safe, and they have to go into these spaces and just eradicate all of these like weird alien insect beings.

And then eventually somebody figures out that the suits or something that they were given when they first signed up changes their perception and those aren't alien insectoid beings, those are people, and they have been made to not see human beings very literally so that they would just go in and fucking destroy everybody. And so this whole time they've been murdering like hiding refugees, and it's a pretty

fucking grim episode, as you can imagine. And the end, somebody has been promised a beautiful, like three bedroom home to come back to if he finishes his tour, and it's left very open ended when he gets back whether or not the beautiful three bedroom that he is looking at is really there, or if they have done something using that perception changer to make it look like that's what it is, when it's actually like some piece of shit,

you know. And I just really like this was what I was saying when we were dealing with the goblins earlier, and then to talking about like the crawlers come here and we have to deal with them, but eventually we'll get to another floor. Clearly, everybody is being sold this bullshit climb the ladder, except the reverse sort of story where if you just work hard enough, you'll get somewhere

where it's safe, where these people won't bother you. They're your enemy right now and you have to earn your way. And it's just obviously a fucking pipe dream for so many of them. And they are put in a place where they are being tormented for a game. Why would they just like let you get out of it eventually. Even if they do let you get out of it and go to a different floor, all of the floors have crawlers on them if you are, like, are up to the thirteenth floor, So how long could it possibly

take you? You're not gonna make it. It's just so unlikely, you know. And so yeah, getting to know people makes them seem more real, and it makes them seem more empathetic, and you get more wrapped up in how they're doing

and their story. And it's part of the reason why it's so funny to me how many people can just like, you know, create a stereotype of like, oh, you know, welfare queens, and they just make up this person that's somehow living large on welfare, which is like, that's not how welfare works unless you are invested in a very

very elaborate fraud, which is extremely rare and unlikely. And they make this thing up, and then everybody just has it in their head that that's the majority of people on welfare, and of course this welfare queen is almost always black in the imagination, when in fact, the majority of people on welfare are white, And by dehumanizing them and making them seem like they're a scammer, anybody that's on welfare suddenly becomes suspect and suddenly maybe it doesn't

deserve it, and maybe we should keep an eye on them and look at what's in their cart and maybe judge them on the fact that they are getting something that's like a little bit too nice for somebody poor. Do they really deserve to have that they didn't work for it, even though the majority of people on welfare do have jobs. It's just like, it's really kind of remarkable how quickly and effectively that takes hold, because we are often so eager to feel superior to other people.

And then there's another aspect to this of like how we can watch a TV show where we're in the POV of a bad person, but we still root for them because we're in their POV and so we've come to identify with them even though they are actively trying to harm others and get away with bad things, but we're still sort of like, yeah, but I want to

I'm here, I'm rooting for them. And it's just like very funny how we can go from this one extreme of blaming a completely innocent person for something that you don't know at all about them, but just comes from a range of like brainwashing techniques, or if you get to know a person really well, you start to justify literally everything they do and make it seem like the you know, whatever it is that they're inflicting on the

world isn't that big a deal. And it's just a kind of like interesting phenomenon to me because we'll do this with our friends as well. We'll know somebody and we'll know that they did some shitty things, but we'll also kind of excuse it because there are bud or you know whatever, and it's just like how much we actually are personally invested in somebody It's like it cannot be overstated how much we change our standards of conduct for that person depending on what we know about them.

So anyway, I just really this like repeated sort of we were going to go to a lower floor. I expect that this is just going to be a thing over and over again. So and also she keeps yelling for somebody named Damien to come and help, who doesn't. But later on when he brings up the name Damien to oh my god, Mordecai, Mordecai gets very agitated that

he even knows that name. So that's interesting. I have to assume again that this is like maybe maybe Damien was the one that was like, oh, yeah, we're doing something good. Well, we're not blending you up into smoothies anymore, we're putting you in charge. Actually, like I bet he was the fucking go between to make it seem like we're doing you such a favor. Look at how much

more woke we are. So he like uses his uh boom thing, he catches one of them and kills her, and he has like is hoping that when he kills her, it's just gonna be that her body like drops a potion. But that is not how it works. So he just has to hold on to her, and uh, let's see. I remember what Mordecai had said that the mobs and deeper levels weren't going to be as sympathetic I really hoped. So I needed to remember who the real enemies were,

the syndicate born the Kua Teine. I felt bad about killing monsters who were nothing more than ponds, but the fact was we needed to get as strong as we could. It was us or them, which, unfortunately at this point, seems to be true. So the Boss. The door to the boss chamber looked like the entrance to some sort of community center. It had live, Laugh, Love written on top of the door in little cutout wooden letters. Under that was a schedule of events. The next event schedule

was for noon on the day after the collapse. It read good news everyone, Little Brian Lynn has the chicken pox. I just need to take a moment to admire Brian Lynn. That's all one word. It's honestly perfect. It's such a perfect name for this exact demographic. Pop luck pox party here at noon, No peanuts, Let's get that immunity. So he's saying, I think that maybe we shouldn't go into the deal with the boss. I think that, like, we might not get out if we try and just blow

it up. We don't know how many of these other things are going to be in there, and they have that taint debuff and Donut is on board with this. So this is when he discovers that the bicycle things are actually blenders and he gets the smoothie recipe and it's just like, oh, oh gross, but he doesn't say out loud what it is yet. We find this out later and he puts together, oh, okay, this is set up so that we figure this out just before we fight the boss. But I don't want to drink this thing.

Let's just not go in there. And then the door just opens and the AI says bosses can leave their rooms. Welcome to the second floor, bitches, and we Getaren the Krakaren Clone Level ten neighborhood boss. First off, this isn't the krak Karen. This is a Krakaren for everyone that is killed. Krakheren prime births two more part of a collective mind intent upon destroying any semblance of scientific progress

in the universe. The kra Karen is the only communal brain entity in the galaxy who actually gets stupider as time moves on. Consisting of multiple shrieking tentacles, members of the k Karen Cooperative spend their days birthing their disease laden minions, creating and selling harmful products, attempting to debate scientific experts, and proselytizing to the weak minded, all in an attempt to well, nobody knows what the hell their

end goal is. I swear to God, I know that there is a lot in here that like I should probably take issue with. But it's very difficult because you guys, if this isn't also partially very very true, I don't know what is the rise. And if you are listening to this and you yourself are an anti vaxxer and you had an issue with this representation, I am so sorry.

But maybe look at the fact that you're an anti vaxxer and just like reevaluate what that means, because it's incredibly foolish and shortsighted and self centered and just it's fucking twenty twenty five. Grow up. But I so part of the thing for me is that Karen is something that actually this like has evolved into what we just

call difficult women, especially difficult white women. But what it had used to be was a particular type of white women who would bully oftentimes black women, sometimes black people in general. And it really was like the type that would see a black person walking in their neighborhood and like call the cops. That was what Karen originally meant. And then over time it just became the thing that people just called a woman that was annoying them, and

so it really lost its like ultimate meaning. But I still think that it applies here because honestly, if I'm thinking Karen now, I definitely also have like racist and anti vaxer together. Apologies if your name is Karen. That's just something that happens sometimes. But I just really, uh, I understood exactly what he was doing, and I couldn't

help but support. So I am this this thing. He has to make the smoothie, and he has to he describes trying to get the fairy into the bottle that he will use to make the blender like shoving a uh what is it that he says, I'm sorry, guys, I'm trying to remember. I think he says, like a shoving a cornish game hen into a bottle. Oh. Here it is trying to stuff us a cornish game hen into a thermos, which her body is like still warm.

The whole way that he literally has to consume the enemy to make this work is so gross and so bonkers. So he blends it and then he has to drink it. And the description here it was it tasted as if I'd taken a drink directly from the diseased asshole of an incontinent skunk. It took all of my strength not to vomit, honestly, that is vivid. I have to hand it to him, and of course he winds up getting buzzed, which later on, as he is feeling this, he's like, wow,

what is this shit face? Deep Buff like, because I feel fucked up right now actually, and the two of them are having to like fight these things while there's a weird sort of shaky cam at Deep Buff that happens where he's like, woozy, my health already in the red moved further down. The monster didn't seem to realize what it has. I watched as it grasped on the last standing chloricon wrapping around him. The mouths stopped screaming, all revealing long, sharp teeth as they pulled the shrieking

monster back into the boss room, chewing. It returned a moment later, blood dripping from the mouths, which resumed their catterwall. And then there is a tentacle with just orifices. A longer, thinner arm reached into the room and made a noise like a spray bottle. A fine green mist filled the chamber. You've been infected with the vigorous measles infection negated due to immunity. At this point, Donut says, if we die, I want you to know that I love you, Carl.

I don't love you as much as I love Miss Beatrice because she's you know, she's my person, or as much as I love Ferdinand, But I love you focus, Donut, I said. I tried not to let what she'd said sting, but it did. Who the fuck was Ferdinand? Anyway? B was going to give you up, Donut. She was giving you up, trading you in for a younger model. But I didn't say it, not out loud. Now was not

the time for that conversation. Never was that time for the con was the time for that conversation, not anymore, but especially not now, not when Bee was fucking dead. This was so interesting because I really got the impression that b was like obsessed with donut and knowing that she was going to trade up. First of all, what precisely does that mean? Was she going to put donut down? I have to assume not that wasn't it right giving

you up? I would The thing is, though, what like he was fighting to keep donut when he felt like be or her father would definitely come after him to take donut away, which doesn't exactly align with she was going to give you up. I don't know, but I this like, honestly, the picture that he keeps painting of Beatrice, you really do start to be like, Carl, what did you like about her? Guy? What about her made you want to stay at all? It just seems like there

was very little to recommend her. You know, everything that he has been saying about his time with her has been riddled with her being like incredibly selfish or just you know, a shitty person, and then finding out that he was cheating on her, that she was cheating on him with multiple people. Also, you know, there's just are that I'm like, maybe this is part of him having a father who is such a bully that he winds

up seeking out the familiar, which is a bully. Maybe it's just that simple that she felt like a familiar type due to the fact that she It's an interesting thing that I'm reading this other book right now and somebody says, are you happy? And the person says yes. And they say, but you make other people unhappy, and the person says, yes, I think that's also true. And they said, okay, so you make other people unhappy, but you are still happy. That is significant. And the person replies, well,

everybody is in charge of their own destiny. Basically, whether other people are happy is really up to them, not me. And the psychiatrist they're speaking with says, well, but you are driven and intelligent. You're a more powerful person than a lot of people out there. And they sort of shrug and are like, well yeah, and they say the

psychiatrist says, so taking that is truth. This means that you have a certain amount of power and you use it to make other people unhappy, which means you're a bully. Because if you have a certain amount of power and you have the like you inherently have the choice of either protecting people who are less powerful than you or exploiting them. And you're choosing to exploit them, You're a bully.

And unless you're a sociopath, and I don't think you are, Someday you are going to have to reckon with the fact that this is how you've chosen to live your life. It's going to catch up with you. And the person they're speaking with just has a moment of like, you know, that thousand yard stare into the distance of like realizing what he is saying is true, and then gets kind of angry because he truly like fucking read them for

filth basically. And so this is what like I'm wondering about b is, Like was she just such a dynamic and driven person that she sort of overwhelmed him? You know? Because I could see how that could happen. I think I have been that person for some people. And you just tolerate a lot if you have been taught during other portions of your life to tolerate a lot. But I can't help but wonder if like, as this goes on, he's gonna start asking himself the same question, like why

was I with her? I don't even remember you know, and reminder, it doesn't seem like Donut has any real concept that she's dead, so he isn't telling Donut she was going to trade you up, but he's not telling her because B is dead and Donut doesn't know that B is dead. So he's probably going to have to eventually have that conversation. Also that just like, I mean, maybe he won't. I don't know. I feel like, how

long can this possibly be sustained? Though? It will have to come up at some point because there's been so many mentions via the AI of like, oh, so and so, too bad, they're probably dead, you know. I feel like there has to eventually come a moment where either Donut puts two and two together and has kind of a meltdown, or where Donut confesses that she has been in denial but she is perfect aware that B is probably dead. You know. Anyway, this the way that this fight eventually goes.

He overdoes it with the dynamite. Donut is immediately like I thought you said the explosion was going to be too big to use it in here. I looked at my health already perilously low. Donut didn't have a scratch on her it probably is, and I'm probably about to die, but I think you'll be okay, Carl. No, No, it's okay. Go back to Brandon. They'll watch over you. I wrapped myself around the cat. I don't want to do this without you, Carl, I lied before. I won't be fine

on my own. I need you. No, no, I couldn't answer her before the explosion came. I feel like him doing this is really going to uptick their popularity. He was very willing to sacrifice himself and doing that for a pet is going to earn you a lot of points.

It just is, it really will. And also I do have to mention that, like he just had his feelings hurt by Donut saying that, like, I love you not as much as be but you know, there is some part of me that's like, do you feel like you have to prove something, buddy, because that's the vibe I'm getting here A little bit is like I'll show you she was going to trade you up, but I'll literally die for you, even though it's not like she's gonna

like understand this comparison that's happening. But still, I it did enter my mind that maybe he had something to prove, That's all I'm saying. And he doesn't die, he does have his legs broken, and when he wakes up, his your drums are busted and she's yelling and he can't hear her, so she has to speak to him through the chat and tells him we killed the boss. That doors open, but the fire is getting closer. Hurry, and eventually she has to drag him, which it's super lucky

that her strength is as high as it is. And she says something about how he needs to work on his cardio, but as we know, he's actually in pretty solid shape, so that's probably not it. He's probably real heavy because he's muscular. But yeah, this is delightful and precious. It's like it didn't even occur to him to not do this for Donut. This is a hero, straight up. I awakened my body screaming. I felt everything inside of me repair itself. Donut had used one of the healing scrolls,

possibly at the last possible second. I jammed down on my healing spells, also was sped up the process. I felt my hearing return, my sight restored, the burn on my face smoothed out. I didn't move for several moments, sitting there staring up the ceiling of the hallway. You saved me again, I said to the cat, that's what I do, donut. I don't want to say this out loud, but our views went way up. Isn't it great? I really do love that. She just can't help but type

in all caps all the time. It's just her. She's a little bit of a boomer. It's fine. I think I was saved by that damn pedicure kit. I said, the table should have severed my feet right at the angles. Instead it bounced off and broke my legs. I would have bled out. I it's like the idea that it would break it broke his legs, but that it would have been worse if he let you know what I'm saying. That is really scary to me. The idea of like, you die because you bled out when your legs got

cut off. Friends, that's that's a really awful way to die. I just there's something about your feet and how essential they are for like our survival in certain circumstances that whenever that's the thing that goes first, I have a very intense visceral reaction similar thing to like, there's some horror movie where the bad guy is hiding under a car and he slices their achilles tendons as they're walking by, and so they just can't get up and run, and

it's just its bad. So what I'm saying is, even though the AI is a creep, a kind of a appreciate that it's protecting his feet the way that it is, because it feels like that's actually a lot more valuable than Carl completely understands. So let's see they Oh, yeah, they're looking at the Kirkaeren and uh, he says, I suspected the Kirkeren Collective was a real thing the whole time it had seen they were just combining absurd stereotypes from Earth with random monsters just to fuck with us.

It came to me, now as I stared up at this thing, that they were doing the opposite. This is

really for the benefit of the audience, not us. They were taking something familiar to the viewers, like these interstellar dumbass octopus monsters and combining them with an Earth analog in an effort to both teach the watchers about Earth culture and to lampoon Interstellar cultures and creatures they felt deserving of scorn, kind of like the way cartoonists would sometimes personify rats and snakes as scumbags, or foxes as

shady used car dealers, or persian cats as princesses. And this is when he sees on the map fifty brindle grubs at least heading toward them, which makes sense later why when they open the door there are so many right there. So they go to the safe room or the Tutorio guild sorry, and Mordecai is there, and he is incensed about what Odette said, and he says, I want to note I would rather spend another two thousand

years in this room another. You say, that's a long time, read that fine print when the time comes, Carl, That's all I'm saying. I'd rather meet a woman's sire children and then devour those children and then have anything to do with her again. He, by the way, is no longer a rat hooligan. He is a bugaboo, which is

essentially some kind of like creepy rapist monster. And he can only say, like stay away from Alley's at night on the third floor, which Carl responds to with like night because they don't have night and day, and he says, I can't tell you about that, and we get this, like mentioned later that since they are popular, and since people can see inside the tutorial guilds like they do film in here, now that there is more attention on them, he can't play as fast and loose with giving them

hints as he used to be able to do. And I for one, am devastated. Now it's going to have to be a lot more in code. He was doing his best to help. I believe he still will do his best to help. Obviously getting them to the fourth Floori's paramount to him. But I just hate that now

he is more restricted than he was. It is kind of like a smart idea, though, to put these things together for the sake of like, yes, it's an advantage for them to level up and to get more eyes on them and get more popular, But there is also a different downside, and that is their guy isn't going to be able to help them the same way anymore. So the let's see if she invites us back on

the show, Should we go? Oh, you should go. Her program is one of the few I would recommend, not that they give you much of a choice, and later on we find out about like the way that this is going to be handled, and they're actually going to get their own pr agent. This is when he mentions Damien it was a mob of fairy she called for him just before we killed her. Those damn theories. They're always getting themselves in trouble. Damien is a local manager.

Each city area has one. There are only three for this floor. He's my manager's manager. You're not supposed to see or know about him. I'm only allowed to tell you about the sort of stuff if you asked directly. We spent some time talking about the borough Boss fight and the last fight with the kirk Karen, but it's very clear they're going to see another kirk Karen in the future. I asked him about Agatha, about them editing her out. He waved it off. They probably didn't want

to confuse the narrative again. I could sense there was more there. I tried not to let my frustration show. I told him my theory about how they were combining real aliens with Earth stereotypes. Mordecai looked equally frustrated. He paused, as if thinking hard, that's mostly correct again, it's not really something I can disc But this isn't exactly some

big secret either. Some of these monsters are made by AI, some are simply the actual creatures from their world, the Tuskling's ball of swine, for example, and some like you've deduced or created by a team of writers. Like anything that's been put together by a team, what you end up with can vary wildly. Those lamas, for example, they're unique to your planet, and I don't recall anything in your culture that suggests they should be anthropomorphized as drug

dealing gang bangers. Someone just thought it'd be an interesting combo. Not everything will be social commentary. It's usually just stupid, I muttered. It's entertainment, Mordecai said, once again, reminding me of something Odette had said. There was a much deeper story there between those two. I wondered if I'd ever learn.

I just love that this is basically the author being like, hey, guys, don't try and analyze all of my weird creatures, because it's not going to do anything that's not like, you know. That's just very much what it felt like to me was him just giving us a little bit of a nod and being like, yo, I know that y'all are going to want to find meaning in all of these and kind of don't bother, which I think is like it didn't even occur to me to try and look

further into the lamas. They're delightful, bad lama. I mean, it's fantastic, and that is it, and I just immediately moved on and never thought any more about it. So apparently that was the right instinct new achievement Dragon Dono. Sorry, dungeon preneur, you've invented a stackable weapon device or potion. You will be memorialized for eternity with your name in the Dungeon Codex. Just don't let it go to your head, ey lawn. For every kill made with this device by

other crawlers, you will receive a single gold coin. If you survived the Dungeon. You will continue to receive this benefit even during future seasons at the current gold to credit exchange rate, for the remainder of your natural life.

Our lawyers made us put that last part in, but between you and me, we both no, you're going to die and or going to keep using your hard work for our own benefit, which if that isn't the truest fucking thing, just the idea like this is so, this is completely on brand, he says, interesting, it was too bad nobody else would ever use these things. The main ingredient, the jug of moonshine, was probably pretty rare. I was like, I don't know, dude, I bet that that's not as

rare as you think it is. There's a mention at one point about like on floors, what three, six nine, it's like every multiple of three that there are like stills or something. I feel like maybe he will make some money off of this. I don't know. He opens the boss box. Don't say anything, don't say anything out loud. I couldn't help it. I looked up at the ceiling really fucking really behind me. Mordecai laughed, but a moment later he added, well, that's actually a really good prize.

It was a white pair of boxers covered in little red hearts. God damn it, I muttered as I examined them. This is delightful. First of all, I believe on the cover he is depicted as wearing white boxers with little red hearts, and I assumed that this was simply the artist interpretation of him having been outside in boxers, and I was like, oh, that makes sense that you would put him in that for like the comedic effect of

the drawing. I never thought about the fact that, like, no, this is an actual item that he is going to get later on. So that's delightful. And uh, the have the enchanted Big Boy Boxers as the name. Have you ever read an Incredible Hulk comic? I thought to yourself, everything rips off his body except his pants. No way. Well, spoiler alert, You're not wrong. Size altering and wear creatures such as the Big Boy are required to wear enchanted self sizing items lest they wish to turn the dungeon

into a nudist colony when they transform. That means everything they wear requires an enchantment everything including their naughty little undies plus two to constitution. Wearer may cast a level fifteen protective shell once every thirty hours and duration five seconds plus one second per level of spell target three meter radius plus fifty centimeters of radius per level of intelligence.

A favorite of frontline tanks and castle guards, The expensive and rare protective shell spell shields a caster and anyone within the sphere from a mob's physical presence or physical attacks. This spell does not protect against magic or against non corporeal entities. This shield spell does not move with you. This spell's area of effect remains static once cast, unimpas by your physical surroundings. So if you use the spell only when you really really need it, you're probably only

delaying me inevitable by a few seconds. And Mordecai starts to say it has a fantastic secondary effect since the spell doesn't move once cast, you can and then they get interrupted by the arrival of a kuatine and I was so annoyed. And of course, at the end of the conversation, like Carl's just about to open the door and walk out, he does not remember to ask Mordecai.

So what I keep trying to like determine is how you would use something like this to protect, Like if you can leave the area that it is in, is it possible to use it as like a solid object somehow? Even if you could, though, who cares because he's got a bunch of other things in his inventory that he can actually use the solid objects because they are solid objects.

So what advantage is that serve? I'm trying to like imagine using it to sort of I don't know there's something here, and I'm very interested to see if Carl figures it out. So chapter thirty six, the Kuatine is two feet tall and she is wearing a particular type of water tank over her head that Mordecai mentions is like really antiquated and says, why are you wearing this? And she says because of the armor. If other people want to come down here without protection, that's their business.

And when Mordecai is sort of like, I really don't think you need to worry about danger down here, she says, tell that to those twelve workers in site prep. Did you see this morning's update they were swallowed whole or that human admin who didn't realize the no urinating in the dungeon rule applied to everyone, they said, All that

was left was splatter on the floor. I really enjoy this, as well as her little monologue that she gets later, all of this serving to remind us that even though these people work for the enemy, they aren't getting treated any better. They are just as subject to the fucking whims of the folks in charge as everybody else. Now there's a caveat here. It's not it's difficult because here's the thing that happens. It makes sense, fully that you begin to have sympathy for other people who are also

being put in an impossible position. And I think you should, and I think if you don't, there's something weird about you that you need to examine. However, I also feel that this is another tactic of the people in charge, is that they make you feel responsible for the other folks who are at your level in a way that they don't feel responsible themselves, even though they are actually responsible.

And what I'm saying is, for example, let's say you work somewhere that's understaffed, and they keep telling you they're going to hire more people, and they keep not doing that, and so every day you're always just a little behind all fucking day and super stressful. And then one day you're sick and you go to call in and your boss is kind of shitty about the fact that you know, we're shorthanded and you're just leaving us in the lurch.

What about your friends here, you're letting them down? Well, no, I'm not. You know that people have to call out sometimes, and you've been saying you will hire people, and then you don't. Now it's my problem. Oh really, but it's not. It's fucking not. It's their problem. And they just pretend it's your problem because you're the one being exploited, so

you're the one that's going you know. And the guilt trip here is very very effective on those of us who feel some sort of obligation to our fellow workers a lot of the time. And so that was what occurs to me when she Odette mentions that Mordecai needs them to get to the fourth floor in order for like his inventured servitude to be up. It just felt to me like, oh, the pressure is on, not just for yourself but also for him, and that feels like

really manipulative. And then here finding out that, like all of these other people who are involved in this thing, she is literally she says, her family is being held basically at gunpoint, that if she fucks up, her whole family is going to die. So she is in almost a worse position than Karl in some ways, because Carl at least he's got nobody left but Donut, and this woman has a lot more left to lose. I say, woman,

you know whatever. So it's like everybody is getting fucked here in this way that is, it's just so like that there's just so many levels of manipulation in it that it's it's really gross that the people who seem to have no empathy can use empathy as a weapon this way. It's just deeply fucked up. Anyway, she explains to them that she is going to be their new pr agent because they are popular enough that the requests for interviews are going to get kind of like too much.

And she says, they make me come down here and talk to you directly after interviews for a deep briefing, and Donat of course, is super excited and is like, oh, can we provide advanced riders like with makeup and green room requirements? Which I would love if they could do that. This question does not really really get answered, but I would like to cover this later because who knows what advantages you could get if you set that up. Carl is much more like, okay, so can we just like

not interview then? Is that something we're allowed to like just turn down? And she's like yeah, but Odette has contracted with us, so she gets first right of refusal and you're locked into those you'll go on her show if you keep your numbers up. You can refuse what show you go on, but I'm afraid you'll be obligated to pick something. We might move to three interviews for the lower floors, depending on how it's going. Whatever happens, I promise I'll do my best to get you quality gigs.

For this first one. I went ahead and chose a program for you. It's a little less serious than Odath's show, but we'll hit a demographic you aren't yet trending in. I less serious like Odath's show is fluff. So what is less serious like? I'm concerned. It's a round table style discussion. And in this program, all crawlers get a parting gift. Sometimes it's a joke, but it's usually something useful a gift. Donut, said Carl. We get a gift.

I am so donut, you guys. As soon as she was like, and you get a present, I was like, ooh, presence. I swear to God, you guys, it's just I am what I am? Are we doing this now? I asked? No Zev said, I'll pin you when it's time. It'll be at minus six plus one full. I felt a sudden, unexpected wave of rage at this fishwoman. It came out of nowhere, and I didn't know what set it off. I couldn't help it. She was the enemy and I

couldn't do anything about it. So she like explains, six hours before the next recap, not the one tonight, but the next one, so in about forty hours, you should try to line up a major boss battle right as the floor closes, like you did last time. That really

worked in your favor. That rage, which I thought I had successfully held back, bubbled up and out and he loses his shit and he is like, with respect, fuck you, we are literally just trying to stay alive, and you're worried about when we schedule boss battles when they apparently can fucking just leave their rooms, by the way, so it's not like it's that much up to them. I am doing what you have asked. I am killing monsters,

trying to level up, trying to survive. I will smile, and I will joke, and I will put a proper face. I'm when we go on these shows. But fuck, you have already taken everything from us. Do not ask us to give more than what we have. We are not going to fight or survive on your schedule. Look, she said, after a moment, I know, Okay, nobody in this room is an idiot. The moment I appeared, he was terrified of me. Once he saw I wasn't wearing a party badge,

he relaxed. When I'm done here, I go back down to the production headquarters not have to face my boss, who is a member of the party. If I do or say the wrong thing, my entire family will be wiped from the universe. You're going out there to kill and face mobs who know people like you are prowling the holes trying to find and kill them. The sapient ones live in constant fear of you. Guys. We are all parts of the same inexorable machine. All of us

are afraid. Yes, your place in this really sucks. It's not fair. You know it. I know it. The cat knows it. But believe it or not, I am on your side. The better you do, the longer you survive, the better I do. So when I tell you that you should do something, you best listen because I know what I'm talking about. This is just like that scene in season three ye Gossip Girl when Chuck and Blair break up over the Hotel Doughnut said, I turned to regard the cat on my shoulder and I burst out laughing.

I couldn't help it. It wasn't funny. I never watched that damn show yet I laughed, and I had a hard time stopping. No, it's not, Mordecai said a moment later. How do you even get that from this? Zev turned her fish gaze to my cat, and then Mordecai, I can't believe it. You too have watched Gossip Girl. Nobody on my team has watched anything except that old Cops and Judge Judy. We've been stuck here for fifteen solars with nothing for entertainment but earth based programs, and I've

had nobody to talk to about them. You guys, I love this so much for so many reasons. First of all, I love the fact that sometimes Donuts like Charm is seemingly sort of accidental. She just manages to connect with Zev on this level, purely by mentioning Gossip Girl in

this like offhand way. I also love we are in the midst of like a hostile government takeover, and I'm here talking about this book to people who paid me because they wanted to share it so badly, and other people are here who have read it because they want to hear me talk about it. This is like this kind of thing, detaching from the horror of your current situation and the world you live in by engaging in like joint enjoyment of media is like my whole job. That's what I do. And so for that to be

what kind of brings them together in this moment. It's not that they are all in an equally garbage position. It's that they have all watched this show and they relay on that level, and this also takes their mind off of things for a little bit. This is it, This is it, This is how it goes. This just fucking got to me, guys. You know it would. It's my job, like I said, so, it's just really gonna

hit a particular nerve for me. But my lord, and later on, when Zev says something like have you watched what is it that, she says, uh, there's something some other show that makes don't oh here it is. Tell me you've watched Riverdale, which is a similar I've watched

gossip Girl. I have not watched Riverdale. Gossip Girl is the kind of show that I enjoyed so much at the time, and I have a feeling if I were to try and watch it now, I would be so disgusted that I wouldn't be able to get through it because it's about people who have such extreme wealth that it was just sort of fun to watch the rich people at one point in my life, and now that's

not as much fun anymore. Riverdale is the seems like type of like trashy drama, you know, So I feel like I would kind of enjoy Riverdale in a weird way because I that's Michael Is in the chat saying Riverdale gets batshit crazy. That is what I have heard. I've been spoiled on a few small points of Riverdale. So anyway, just saying if anybody wants to commission that,

I'm open. And Mordecai takes a moment to talk to Carl about how dangerous that was, and he brings up the party and is basically like the closest thing you would have is like access Japan with a good splash of Nazi Germany. When I signed my Indentions Indentureship contract, the Bloom represented less than fifteen percent of the votes. Now they control the whole Kubatine government. They've run it

into the ground. The whole system is bankrupt, which is part of what is so funny about a lot of right wingers is that they whine and cry about taxes, but they always wind up fucking bankrupting us, and then we have to like, that's why we have to taxes, y'all, don't mind Like, ugh, you know what, I'm not doing it. I'm over time already as I was last time. I really need to get it together. Listen carefully. We don't

have time to get into details. But Boren is being forced by their own government to end the game as quickly as possible. You need to be especially careful not to upset them. I don't understand. I thought they started it early to stave off a bankruptcy seizure action. That's what Odent implied. Wouldn't they want to keep it running as long as possible. That's what everyone thought at first. They're doing a cash grab with a new patron system.

But they don't get that money or any money from the advertising or the tourism funds or Elite Monster sponsorship or anything else until the season is over. They need that cash as soon as possible, but they also first need to raise enough. Their whole system is balancing on a wire. They need the game to be entertaining and profitable, but they also needed to finish much more quickly than usual.

The committee has already issued a warn putting Boring on notice over the bugs that keep occurring, like the issue with the bathrooms and the overpowered mobs. One too many violations and Born could lose everything. There are protections in place, plus there's pushback within the company, but the Kuwatin government is working extra hard to get you killed. That's just wonderful. And this is when they're like, all right, time to head out, let's do this. Zev has to leave before them.

And then they opened the door and a waste high pile of grubs fell into the room. And that's the end of the chapter. There's more I want to say, but I don't have time. Kids, I'm gonna have to save it till next time. All right, everybody, Thank you all again so much for hanging out with me. Thank you to Michael for commissioning this and commissioning the next

book as well. I'm very excited. I hope you all are having fun listening I'm having fun reading, and until next time, to the lou motherfuckers that was an unspoiled network.