Carl's Doomsday Scenario, Chapters 18 & 19

is dead. Welcome to spoil Me. Welcome to the show everyone. I am Natasha. Thank you very much to Michael for commissioning this episode, and Michael is here in the chat along with Rob. Appreciate you guys being here. So this

section was really, really fun. It's sort of like it's one of those things where I don't, okay, I'm going to get one thing out of the way, and I really want you guys to bear with me here as I say this, because I know that they are going to be folks rolling their eyes and frankly too bad, but I just want to get out of the way that the dead Hooker joke calling them dead hookers, the

way that that line keeps being delivered. I understand the kind of vulgar quality of the word combo is what's sort of funny and meant to give the shock value that makes it in the moment feel particularly jarring, and that is part of what adds to the comedic aspect of it. So I understand the goal in using those words, and I understand that perhaps taking issue with those words might frustrate some people because they're like, that's what's funny.

But I just have grown very sick of the way that we tend to treat sex workers in general, and using this sort of like hooker horror language. It just has grown to bother me. Now again acknowledging that if he were to say dead sex worker, that isn't as funny.

It isn't right. But sometimes I think we need to acknowledge that part of the humor of something is that we're like kind of dehumanizing a person, and maybe we should examine the fact that the more we dehumanize them, the funnier it is, and just take a moment and really sit with that and what does that mean about our brand of humor and what we find funny and just stop and think about it. That's all I'm asking.

I am not trying to preach here because I acknowledge that dead Hooker is funnier, and I tried not to let it bother me because I understand the sphear in which I think he's doing this, But I just have to acknowledge that every time it is said, I WinCE a little bit. It's just, you know what I'm saying it. It is turning the woman into the punchline when she is the victim, and I think that's what is so

upsetting in a way for me. And I have no doubt that the direction the author is going here is worthwhile, So I'm not trying to say that he has gained my trust mostly over this past book, so I am trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, and I am trusting that the overall message that he is heading for here is going to be something that is very humanizing, and that he is actually, in the end going to do the opposite of what it seems like he's doing with this joke, which is part of why

I hesitate to even bring it up, but I just want to. I was running into this in a previous

recording as well. It's sometimes necessary for me to share with you guys on one hundred percent truth about what I'm feeling as I'm reading, just so that you guys can sort of understand the changes that can happen in my attitude towards something as I continue along, because there are going to be times where something bothers me that another time it doesn't, or something bothers me and later I'll see why or something doesn't bother me, And then

in retrospect after I read a different thing, I'm like, that was fucked up and I didn't even realize, you know. So I think it's important, even with all of my many caveats, to just tell you how I'm feeling about this, know what I'm saying. Rob says, I am with you one hundred percent on that. Like, we could also have a storyline that doesn't have to deal with the precarity

of sex work, and that's another thing. And again I'm trying to withhold judgment on this in general because I feel like I trust where we might ultimately be going with this. But like dead sex workers is such a thing, it's such a trope that when it pops up there is a big part of me that just kind of lets out a deep sigh of boredom and just frustration.

You know. It's the kind of thing that it's like, again not saying that that's what's happening here, but it can feel very much like we're going to pretend that what we are doing is shining a light on how like dangerous it is for women and that they are constantly in danger, when really what it is is we're being very judgy about sex workers, and it's concern trolling for sex work. It's like people who try and pretend I just care about your health, when really they're just

fat shaving you. You know what I'm saying, It's like that. But again, I'm just trying to withhold judgment and share how I'm feeling right now and acknowledge that I'm aware there's a possibility that all of this will be worthwhile or turn a corner or something at some point. Rob says, And it really fucks with my immersion in any series when this happens. Michael says, got to remember that the

tropes are kind of deliberate. This is all a game with well worn tropes, and that's part of it, Michael.

It's also like, that's part of what I think about the author eventually going to make this being worthwhile is that I think he's doing this to make a point potentially, but also again not saying that's that's what happened, that's what's happening here, but there are times where it's like the trope is the point, but also the trope existing is something the author is sort of hiding behind because they just wanted to do the thing, so got to keep an eye out. Rob says, I won't say that

Dinniman is perfect. And there's definitely some very fat phobic stuff in the future books so future books too, but it's never be labored and the other politics in the book are incredible too. Yeah, the fat phobia is definitely it's something that it's it's a really it's a very slippery slope. You know, there's another series I'm reading that is so good, but they definitely have that flavor to them. Occasionally.

Fat phobia is one of those things that even in work that is so future looking and so aware, it still creeps in sometimes and it is incredible how great a person can be on so many things and then they still will just you know, So we go into chapter eighteen. Getting to this office had been a chore. The town's administrative buildings had no first or second floor, and we'd had to utilize donuts puddle Jumper spell to teleport from the rooftop of a knife shop to the

landing entrance of the town hall. She recently hit level five with the spell, which had solved the line of sight issue. It basically added support for jumping up to a higher elevation when you couldn't see the ground above you. It was a minor edition, but one that made it much more useful. We zapped into the building's third floor entrance only to come face to face with two of the village swordsman guards. And they don't have wings, so they're just like regular dudes, which they don't know how

these guys even got up here, which is interesting. See don'nut had protested, but I talked her into putting Mango into his carrier for this excursion. We were headed into the legislative chamber of this town and the last thing we needed was the murder Chicken to go on to go a murdering. I really did like that the murder

Chicken to go a murdering. I just want to point out that, Okay, so maybe this is going to seem like a reach to some of you, and those of you who disagree on my issue with dead hookers might be like, oh, this is the first reach. Shut up. I cannot help but think about how they have organized everything in this town so that only skyfowl can reach certain areas unless you have a literal superpower to get you to the spot where you can talk to people.

And this just reminded me so much of accessibility and ableism in our world, and I just wanted to take a little aside. I have grown a lot more sensitive to accessibility over probably the past five years. I would say part of it was being on a trip with somebody in a wheelchair. Part of it has been having more friends who have disabilities and mentioned things in statuses

or stories of theirs. You know. And there is a woman that I met when I was on a little trip recently to a cosplay event, and she is a cosplayer who is wheelchair bound, and she is well known enough in cosplay circles that she is brought on panels at different cons to talk about accessibility in the cosplay what's the word I want circuit? I guess. This woman has been on I think four panels so far this year.

One of them had no ramp at all. It's a literal panel on accessibility, and they did not make it accessible to get through the panel at all. And the second one had a ramp that had been installed incorrectly and so was unusable, and evidently there was nobody on

hand to correct it. Both times she had to sit in her chair on the floor in front of the platform and speak on accessibility from a place that she could literally not be seen by a lot of the audience because she was seated and she is shorter than average, and nobody had made a way for her to get up on the stage. And I just really, I mean,

how are you not embarrassed? And she shares these and tags the convention so like these places know, and you would really think that all of their energy would be going toward making sure this looks like as good as it can look for the subject matter, even if it is purely for optics and nothing else, even if it is just for the very superficial. And yet they don't

even do that, which is deeply incredible to me. So Anyway, I just wanted to mention that, sorry, Michael is saying there's a bunch of chat here, but uh, I'm gonna go up a little bit. Rob says, I won't even say that Dinniman is perfect. And there's definitely some very fat foot Oh I read that in the instances in these books are right on the line. It feels like it feels honestly edgy in the truest sense of that word.

Michael says, even The Good Place had some fat jokes, even if they were framed at showcasing how bad a person Eleanor was. And yeah, that's another thing, is like having a character say certain things that otherwise is terrible, and like it's supposed to be that they are, and so they're doing the thing. But also sometimes it does feel like we're kind of cloaking it just so that because we want to make the joke. Sometimes I do feel that way a little bit with like Pierce in community.

You don't even have to get that literal. Just restrictive voter laws like requiring a photo ID is restricting access. It seems innocuous and easy until you learn that not everyone lives in areas where it's easy to take some time out of your work data head to the local DMV and Rob says, an editor would tell you the symbolism was too heavy handed if you wrote that, yeah, this is life. Life is heavy handed a f as I have come to learn. So the cataclysm, like the

Skyfall had been in charge. After the cataclysm, there scattered around, but the remaining Eagle controlled villages, such as this one still maintained a similar structure as before. As a result, Magistrate Featherfall was the big boss man of this village. In the old days, there would have been a governor that he answered to. The third floor was a high

end shopping mall catering only to skyfowl. The administrative building and home to the magistrate was directly above this floor, but anyone visiting had to first walk through this section. The shops reminded me of this type of stores one would find at the airport, filled with expensive crep like

silk robes and fancy hats and scrolls. Even though the sparse customers were all eagle folk, the clerks and assistants were all non eagles, most of them harried looking young women, human and elves rushing about being snapped at and verbally used by skyfowl shoppers. You, guys, I will never forget Philadelphia, despite being a very racially diverse city, is a very

divided city. It's like really segregated still in a way that is jarring to see sometimes because I was originally from New Haven, Connecticut, and that is a very diverse and mixed together city as long as you don't count like Yale being dropped in the center of everything. But setting that aside, and I remember coming to Philly. I was looking to buy a house there with my husband at the time. So we got out of the airport

and went straight to a hotel. And when we we got picked up in a cab driven by a black man. We pull up to the hotel and the bell hops outside are black. We stepped through the doors, everybody behind the counters is. There's a literal shoeshine booth with a black man working at it. There's a concierge with a black man, and every single solitary guest was white. And it felt like I had stepped back in time. It

was the weirdest sensation. I had never been in a place that there was such a clear, visible divide between the guests and the help and the help all being a different color. I had never seen it before anywhere, and it was just startling, you know what I'm saying. And this is something that always comes to mind when a place is described like this. They have to have stairs, the help can get up there. I said, That still doesn't explain how they get here in the first place.

Donna says, paintings of eagles fighting elves and other oddities adorned the walls. I just want to point out that the elves are like serving them in the store, but there's paintings of them fighting them on the walls, which what is that reminding us of? We passed multiple guards, a couple eagle shoppers who startled at our appearance, and a handful of other bird like creatures called chickadees whom

I'd originally mistaken for juvenile skyfowel. These guys only came up to my waist and were like dwarven versions of the larger birds. So they run into a woman named Burgundy and she's like, are you sure you're meant to be here? And they they say they want to see the magistrate, and she just says good luck and leaves

them to it. Eventually they get up there and they meet miss Quill and it is described by the AI as like, good luck getting past her to see him, because if she doesn't want you to see him, you're not going to see him. So Dona tries to use her charisma and it is not working. There is a suspicion that there is an anti charm spell thinks. So as soon as Carl like, she says something about like,

are the Skyfall being targeted by this murderer? And he's like, oh, so as long as it's not Skyfall, the victims can just go fuck off. And she's like, yeah, that's what it was like when my husband was magistrate, my late husband, and now that it's featherfault, still the same. But please feel free to leave a note describing this situation, and if it warrants further investigation, we'll get back to you. What about the evidence we collected? Should we leave that

here too? I asked. As soon as he said this, I was like, he's about to drop a body on this bitch's desk. I knew it instantly, because of course, why would you not do that? Look at this bitch like, and so yeah, I pulled the dead hooker for my inventory and splatted her on the eagle's desk. The corpse's legs still stiff with rigor upset, the line of beanie babies tumbling them off the edge of the desk one by one like a line of synchronized swimmers diving into

the pool. I've been afraid the system wouldn't let me pick up and store the corpse, as it wasn't something we'd tried before. I'd been surprised to find it did let us, and it even helpfully labeled the body as quest clues in my inventory, which I do kind of love.

So the beanie babies that are all of creatures in this universe are obviously important to her, and they keep basically holding them hostage and getting using them to convince her to help them, and she calls insecurity, but because he has this gate pass which allows you to carry a dead body, the security just looks at him and then turns around and leaves. And she is so mad about it, and that is so fucking funny to me. He asks how they get up there, and she doesn't

answer him. This one is getting really dirty. I think that the label tore on this one, Carl, stop stepping on them. Stop stomach right now. Please just take it away. The elderly eagle appeared to be on the verge of tears. Take her away, Doughnut corrected, I love you so much, Donut, I love you so much. So yeah, she says, he only comes out at night nowadays. Oh my god, what's that liquid? I don't know, I said, it's not blood. They've had all their blood sucked out of them, but

their bodies still leak and smell. It's really gross. Please please just take it away, take her away. I'll tell him we were here, I promise. A milky white stain of fluid covered Miss Quill's desk. I'm kind of thinking maybe embalming fluid. I always imagined inbalming fluid as being clear or like milky, and I don't know where I got that from. I feel like I must have been in a TV show I saw or something, but that

was the only thing I could think. So she gets up to go get some paper tunnels and they tried to open his chamber door, and a magical lock is on it. My eyes focused on the top undisturbed line of beanies sitting above her desk. Just tell him we came by, I said to miss quill as we went back down the stairs, and you're welcome for fixing your shelf. I am really curious what the deal is with the uh undisturbed and fixing her shelf. What did he do? Did they put a camera in there? Is that possible?

I don't even know how what kind of equipment they've got. I'm just trying to think, you know, hmm. Anyway, so they're talking about whether or not the magistrate is their man, and Doughnut says, we don't even know for sure he has anything to do with it. Nope, I said, That's why I wanted to talk to him when he was in his office. I figured if he's some evil, crazy boss, he wouldn't call off Freddy Krueger on us in public. And if he's not the bad guy, surely he'd be

able to point us in the correct direction. But I don't think it's that complicated. This quest is only a silver one. Plus look at the clues. He's a black cleric. He only comes out at night. It has to be him. And I really appreciated this discussion because I definitely immediately when she was like oh, he only comes out at night. Of course, I went, oh, is he the guy? And

then I went, that's a little too easy. But when he points out that it's only a silver level quest, I was like, oh, it never occurred to me that depending on the level of quest, it's either more or less of a twist. Potentially, you know, I'm interested to see.

Let's see. Uh, oh my god, this is There's a point where they passed by a place selling these beautiful skyfowl robes, and Donut says something about how she would love to learn how to fly, and I would love to see Donut flying, honestly, like that would be I don't know why, just adding she's got this old ciara, adding like wings, how adorable would she be? Oh my god,

it would be too much. Zev said, if we were fighting or in the midst of something, they wouldn't allow us to get transported, which was why she preferred us to be in a safe room. When it was time. Still, we had two hours, and I decided we should use the time wisely, so we left the city and traveled west, searching for mobs to kill. I had two dozen hoblobbers.

The fuses on the bombs were between six and seven seconds, which was perfect when I was tossing them like they were grenades, but when I was hurling them at two hundred and fifty miles per hour at a mob six seconds was a little too more so instead, I pre lit ten, which took two and a half seconds off

the fuse. Both Mordecai and Donut were mortified by the idea of me walking around with lit bombs sitting in my inventory, but it was pretty much the only way I could properly do this with the equipment that I had. I can't get enough of how fucking cavalier Carl has gotten a bad explosives. I am waiting for him to really fuck himself up, and like I'm not even blaming him,

but this is the nature of the beast. Anytime you are doing something that's highly dangerous, but you do it for a long time or repetitively, you start to get used to it and stop treating it like the danger that it is. And I'm not saying that he's wrong to even handle it this way, because I think that's genius, honestly, but like that is what happens. Is the more you the longer you go doing something very dangerous without getting injured. The more you begin to behave as if that injury

isn't a possibility at all. And so I'm just like, I got my eye out, man, Just start being a way of this stuff, Carl, I'm just saying. So we walked a row of especially decrepit buildings. Manga walked beside us, randomly growling, I've been alarmed at first, but there didn't seem to be anything out there. We hadn't seen anything for fifteen minutes. Then I saw the X on the map, and I realized it was the corpse of a neighborhood boss. This area had already been cleared by somebody else, probably

a few days earlier. The attack came just as I was about to descend into an abandoned used to be indoor swimming pool. And what it is is that these beings are here that have been killed. But well we'll see in a second. The empty swimming pool has a rotting corpse of a sea creature in it. The boss was a level seventeen monster called the Divider, killed by a crawler named Daniel about tis too. Just as I stepped into the shallow end of the empty pool. The

world around us went dark. A dozen red dots appeared on the map. We'd left the inn at sunrise and hadn't hit whatever this world's version of noon was called. The sun had blazed directly above, and we'd gone from day to night so quickly I thought I'd been struck blind. The dots remained on the street. They crept slowly and cautiously, as if they thought they were sneaking up on us. Donut immediately cast torch, shooting the light high above the street.

It was like a star in the sky, but it didn't feel the darkness like it should, as if the murk was resisting it. A moment later, a green bolt shot from one of the red dots, and it crashed right into the torch, snuffing it out. Well, that was rude, Doughnut said, shit, they have an anti magic attack. I pulled two regular torches from my inventory, lit them, and tossed them ahead of me. They skittered out onto the street. The darkness did not budge down the street. Something moaned.

I could make out sheeps, and so they're looking at you know what the creatures are. Dona is able to see two our city elves the further dots. I don't know what the other things are, but they're very big. She says, should we do slime Time? And this is a predetermined play, her favorite, And he says, and for good reason. It was fucking awesome, which I really enjoyed hearing in the audiobook, the enthusiasm in the it was

fucking awesome. We don't get to find out what that is here, and I can't wait to see slime Time eventually. So he throws a bomb, It hits something and then it bounces back. You guys, this the stick and blow. It bounced rolling towards me. Oh fuck, oh fuck. I hopped backward into the empty pool, not bothering to gauge exactly where I was standing. I prepared to press my protective spiel shield spell, protective shell spell. Oh my god, Why did I say that so wrong? But I wanted

to be closer to Donut and Mango before I did. Unfortunately, I stopped falling much sooner than I anticipated. I landed directly on the spongy, rotting corpse of the divider and that was the last thing I remembered. And when he wakes up, Donut is handling this shit I should say Donut and Mango. The two of them are killing these things using magic missiles. He's going in there. He's already lay leveled up again, and she is coded in gore

because of the missiles exploding them. And let's see the moment this second elf died the light snapped back on. The first thing Doughnut saw was me sailing up in the air like I'd been ejected from a catapult, spinning like a pin wheel. I landed upon the roof of the building across the street. I awakened, staring up at the sky. I'd gone up a level to nineteen. Good morning, Carl. I haven't seen any more of the elves, but the meat bags keep coming. They're pretty easy to kill if

you hit them in the right place. Mango is having a field day. He's already gone up to level twelve. Good boy, Mongo. Mommy's going to kill the next one, and you get the one behind him, and she is just like, this has been such a great day for experience. It's amazing. So they keep doing this for a little bit. Let's see. Fucking hell, what the hell happened down there? You did it? You really need to be more careful, Carl, I saw finally saw one of the monsters we've been facing.

The beast was a thirteen foot tall pile of body parts, all sewn together haphazardly as it shuffled forward, and they're all these things are human parts. The thing moved and was shaped like a giant slug, And this really made me think of Greed in Full Metal Alchemist's Brotherhood Shambling Berserker, And it's like all the parts left from people who were killed on the surface, very slow, but very tenacious. They are mostly harmless unless you face one in the dark.

Their power is quadrupled in the dark. I thought of missus Parsons, my downstairs neighbor before all this started. She'd been beheaded in the collapse. Her head had fallen at my feet, but the rest of her had gone down into the depths with the rest of the building. Had they used her headless body for one of these things,

which is just such an awful thought. I really liked having a person that we've met to kind of imagine because it's awful anyway, But you know how it is when something is just a little bit closer to home, and it just makes it feel all the more real to you. So yeah, I just love the fact that he is able to get knocked out and her continue

handling shit while he's out. It's just like it's it's as somebody with anxiety, and a lot of that anxiety stemming from this feeling of like nobody around me is competent. I have nobody that I can really trust to just get things done if I don't do them. It's just very comforting in a story when somebody is taken out and another person actually steps up and like does the thing.

I love knowing that she is handling things, you know, and having Mango helps because obviously this was the only solution unless we were going to make Donut an actual fighter, and we can't have her be a fighter fighter the way that Karl is and also preserve the character and the way that she operates. So giving her a pet who fights is a really good way to cover that weak spot. So yeah, picking fucking Mango really was a

good thing for all involved. Let's see, this was a different production trailer than the one we'd use for the Macero show, but it was still a rental. According to the Frisbee shaped robot running the thing, they'd likely rented this place at the last minute, since I told zeb we didn't have time to get properly cleaned up. She sounded as if she might cry over the chat when

I told her. She started lecturing us on how we needed to be ready for our quote media relations obligations, which I just really love that they're being put in this position where they have to be like presentable on screen but also do as much as they can fighting and they get penalized no matter what, because that is just how life is, you know, like just everybody expects you to always be on point for everything, but they want you to also be on point for the things

that are in direct opposition to that first thing, and it's just come on, can we all get a fucking break Jesus. So they need to get donut cleaned up, but the amount of gore on her is proving very, very difficult. So when they go to this production trailer, there is a robot that is like, trust me, I got this, and indeed, when she comes out, she looks like she has been to a six hundred dollars appointment

in downtown Manhattan and is fucking camera ready. Carl Donna tells me one may purchase one of these all purpose cleaners for a personal space. She says they're expensive, but I think they're absolutely well worth it. We need to save our money quick. You go in there too, It's luxurious. Nah, I'm good, Carl. The back of your cloak looks as if it was used as a sanitary napkin. You need to get cleaned. That cracked me up a little bit, Crawler, Karl.

I've been instructed to inform you you need to avail yourself of the cleaning facilities. You will be in the presence of Royalty on the panel and not presenting yourself properly is considered an insult. It's not that Maestro, asshole, is it? Prince Maestro has been stripped of his titles and disowned by his father. You guys. The howl that I let out when he said that, I she because they're calling her Daughna. I lost my mind. I was cracking up. Oh my god. We find out more about

this later, obviously. Please step into the cleaner, okay, but I'm not getting naked, just clean the stuff people can see. The robot paused very well, she said. All I could think was like, is this the AI? Is this the AI inside the AI trying to get a look down his pants. Is that? What's going on here? AI? What are you up to? So they're also told that Mongo has to be in his pet carrier for the interview.

They are at odds over this, but eventually Dona agrees as long as they agree to clean Mongo up before she puts him away. He does not like being cleaned it is. He eventually comes out, poofed up and smelling of lavender. I really appreciate the mention of poofed up because in my mental image I do not have him with feathers. I keep forgetting about the feathers, and I have to remember that he has them. So the mention of being poofed up. For a very split second, I

was like, poofed? What's poofed on him? And then I was like, oh god, right, he's a bird basically. So they go out onto the stage and there are chairs with their names on it, and then this creature appears humanoid, but thin, about my height, white and hairless, oversized black eyes. A ridge grew from between his eyes and up over his head like a bony mohawk. He wore simple white clothes. His entire body glowed. When he walked, he drifted as if his feet didn't touch the ground and uh he Princess,

Donut and Carl, Welcome to danger Zone, he said. His voice sounded like I would expect, airy and halting alien like. Hello, Where did lady to meet you? Donut said, are you ripper? Wantan No, Princess, My name is Evo. I am the program's director. I wanted to greet you too personally before we bring everyone else online. We will be live, not prerecorded. We have one other crawler with us tonight and she has already been briefed. She is sitting there at the

moment and can't see you. What's the name of your race? I am a people called the Forsoothed. People generally call us soothers. We had a lot of fiction and movies about aliens, and a lot of them looked like you. Yes, it is interesting your culture showed the null more than us, but we have seen examples of our people in your historical records and media. I do not know how you latched onto our likeness. It is most likely one of

my brethren visited your world in the past. Some of my people are odds makers, and they likely visited this planet to get a sample of the human stock in order to make predictions for the krawl. Visiting the planet except for official syndicate business was illegal, of course, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen. So alien abductions were really a thing. What about the probes, Donnut asked, I remember them talking about the probes on television. I assume

you are talking about anal probes. Yes, we've heard about this as well. If that really happened, it was likely done by the null You called them the grays. They're a nasty, unpleasant race, perverts, all of them. This interaction cracked me up. I don't know why. This just got me so bad, just there being like different races of aliens that are like what we have seen, and them being like, yeah those hoes, dude, show we don't fuck with them. They're nasty. That is just so funny to me.

So they sit down. We get some information of the people that are coming on here. Donadia, who is a Saccathian called Sax. We have heard them mentioned before by Zev. She is a powerful force in certain trade circles and outspoken under regular on the program, she is like a squid woman. Then there's a pudgy, fuzzy brown creature that looked like the result of a wombat slash e walk union and he he is of a race called Setanix.

People mostly call them quacas, though I don't know if anybody out there may not know what a quaka is, but if you don't, I deeply implore you to go look it up. Q U O K k A and you will see one of the most adorable creatures that's ever walked the face of Earth. And they literally look like they're smiling as well. It's not just that they are so like their proportions are so cute, it's that their facial expression always has this like very sort of

like amiable ChIL grin just the best. He will lead the conversation. He's only wearing an orange scarf like Fred from Scooby Doo. He is a good hearted gentleman despite his strong opinions. He will treat you fairly, but if he disagrees with your positions on anything, he will take you to task. And then we go to this other woman who has a cobra head and she is silver and black. Manassa, a famed singer she's a Naga, but

don't worry. She's not of the Blood Sultanate, so you won't have to kill her when you hit the ninth floor. She's not really a naga either. The real Manassa perished long ago, but she contracted with the Valete Corporation to keep her career going once she died. So she has a worm in her brain driving her body. That is correct, and her career is hotter than ever. Her latest single is currently ranked eighth in the entire universe. The next chair held a middle aged human named Tucker, a stand

up comedian. I dislike him already, based soley on the stupid grin on his holographic, unpunchable face. I am so sorry, my friends, but this is Tucker Carlson, right, this is Tucker Carlson, Like, unequivocally, I'm not reading into this, like we can all agree that's what he's doing, right with a guy that's like allegedly funny but also has like opinions on things that he doesn't know anything about and is very loud and talks over everybody, And it's just

like now, granted, broken clock right twice a day. The recent interview between Tucker Carlson and my senator, Oh my god, what is his name? You guys, the Zodiac Killer that I really do support Tucker Carlson's whole approach, So every now and then I am on his side, which is just bewildering, But mostly he is just the worst little weenie that's ever on television. So I just want to make sure that we're all on the same page here, because that is like one hundred percent who I'm picturing

this whole scene. So okay, Michael says, that was exactly what I thought the moment I read the name, like right, come on, okay, So and then we've got fucking Hecla, and I am so excited at the fact that, like they are stoked to see Hecla. Donut greets her and she calls Donut and Carl by name, so she clearly knows who they are also, which is wonderful. One of the daughters is near you. She recognized the circus from

the episode and knows you're in the vicinity. She wants to come back to the team, but I believe we are too far away. She needs some help leveling. Will you assist her? I will take it as a personal favor, of course, Donut said, before I could respond, We'd love to help your friend. God damn it, Donut, I paused. Tell her to come to the one eyed narwhal tonight,

I said, in the medium skyfall settlement. Settlement, But just an FYI, we're in the middle of something dangerous right now, and we won't be able to slow down to help her. We'll do what we can very well, Heckla said, a slight smile curled her lip. Just don't blow her up, Heckla, I love you. As soon as she said just don't blow her up, I was like, she got his number. Goddamn. So we open this like we have the moment of all of them together before the interview. We don't see

the start of the interview, the introduction, or anything. We jumped directly into Midway Park through the conversation, where Tucker is saying, as much as I dislike the mud Skippers, I can't help but feel the valte have overstepped their push to take over the season. Aren't you supposed to be a comedian? When are you going to say something funny? The audience roared, See it's not that hard. Well, what's your opinion? On the matter, Princess donut. How the heck

should I know? I'm a cat, but I do know this Butler. One, I know I don't know enough about this subject to voice a proper opinion on it, unlike you, who is obviously talking out of your behind. And two, I know my partner here has a very poor opinion of you. Isn't that right, Carl, yep I said you're a dipshit. Hekla laughed for the first time since this started. Guys, I'm calling it right now. Heckla wants to fuck Carl. Heckl is into him, and frankly, of course she is.

Carl's the guy. He loves, his cat, would do anything, lay his life on the line versus cat competent. He's walking around in his underwear. Can't be bad owning his shit out here, making things happen, saying it like it is to everybody, but still playing it smart. I could see considering that the question comes up about her abandoning her husband and her saying he abandoned me he was gonna get us both killed. I think Hekla is looking for a guy who knows how to fucking like do

things and one respect women. In their autonomy. But two is actually like good hearted and here comes a guy that probably is handling things in a manner that she wishes her husband had, and I am for it on record. I ship them with no further information necessary. I'm in it. Just wanted to put that out there. So you know, my name isn't Butler, Carl. You told me his name was Butler. It's Tucker Tucker. Are you sure? Next to me,

I thought Princess Didnadia was having a stroke. She was laughing so hard it was clear she also did like this Tucker guy, this whole They just like fuck with him for a little while. It is honestly everything. I loved it so much. There was a short segment regarding multiple intergalactic affairs that neither I, Doughnut nor Hecla had much input on it. For most I had no idea

what they were talking about. Even the audience seemed bored with the peace the issue Tucker had been opining about regarding the Valte Corporation and their attempt to collect their debt from the Boring system. All three of us Crawlers were smart enough not to say anything stupid about either Borran or the Valtae in case they did end up taking over the Crawl, which appeared to be highly unlikely.

Manassa was on the side of the Valtae. Ripper and Princess Di Nadia seem to think both sides were dicks, but also sided with the Valte. Tucker was mostly on the side of the Kuwatine. So they then begin talking about the Skull Empire. The fact that the pork boy snick that was created really created some unrest, which is remarkable that something like this would just start to collapse an empire like that's bonkers. New calls for democratic reform

were popping up in their systems. People took issue with the royal family spending so much time and money playing around with the Crawl and the faction war games while neglecting their duties back home. King rust had responded by disowning the Maestro and telling his people to shut the hell up. Ripper looked directly at me and asked me what I thought about it, And he thinks all it takes is a little seed, and then well, if his King Rusky treats his people like his son treats guests

on his show, they should rebel. And he tells the story about the frog in the slowly heating water. I really know what's going on with their systems. I'm just a guy from a planet that thought we might all be alone. Then we got thrown in and had the lid slammed on us, so we don't have much of us. Say, but I'm kissing it's different for people who live under the Skull Empire. If it used to be okay, but

it's not anymore, then do something about it. And don't compare your circumstances of how they were yesterday, look at how they were years ago. We're supposed to be making the world, the universe a better place for our children. If it's not better, if you're dealing with cruelty, with neglect, then you should do something about it. So yeah, fuck them, Fuck King Rust and his asshole child. If you're unhappy with your government, then kick them out and set up

your own one that represents the people's best interests. You shouldn't have put up. You shouldn't have to put up with some loser who's going to take the people's money and waste it on gains, especially when those games entail killing people weaker than him with little or no real danger to himself. What a pussy, that's opinion. Nobody said

anything For several moments. I was genuinely like, all right, Carl, you know I'm behind you and everything, but I really don't know if this was the way to handle this right now, Like this felt like a bad call. Tucker says, you probably don't know this, but openly using tunnels to advocate for systems sedition against a member of state is a crime. If that's true, then you're all in that same pot. I turned to look at the audience, all of you. If a government is afraid of what it's

people say, then maybe there's a reason for it. Besides, what are they going to do? Throw me in the dungeon? Next to me, Princess Donadia started clapping and making trumpet noises with her tentacles. Hekla, who barely said anything this entire time, was looking directly at me. I couldn't read her expression. Her expression is I want to jump your bone. That's her expression. I can tell you right now. I

don't need a decoder. I know if I were sitting here across from a man in this situation and he made that speech, I would be ready to straddle him in a moment, just no offens or. But it's about it. I know exactly what it's going through her mind. This is all assuming that she is straight, and even if she's not, still maybe a little bit wants to bone him. Even so, this happens sometimes, you know, sometimes attraction just

overcomes gender and you're just like, it doesn't matter. They're hot enough that it doesn't even matter, And yeah, that's what's going on there. So just saying, also, I really trust the fact that Karl is so oblivious that a woman staring at him with like naked lust on her face that he wouldn't know how to read it. I just get the sense that he's like that oblivious, you know what I'm saying, Like, you know, that's just me anyway.

So most of the audience is approving, but not everybody, and they're looking around and Rippers in the middle of saying they did tell me you tend to leave this path of scorched earth wherever you go, and then all of a sudden, the cobra blinks in and out of existence and disappears. The cobra I'm imagining as somebody on the level of like Taylor Swift and we find out she has been killed. And can you imagine if there was a strike against somebody and it wound up killing

Taylor Swift, what would happen to you, guys? I mean, it would be beyond belief. So I think this misstep is going to be a big problem, like a big problem. I think this is a bad move. Friends. So the whole studio moves and I immediately was like, they just attacked him over this. They literally attacked him. I was thinking maybe her connection went out for some reason, but I did not think that she was the target, which

of course we find out she technically wasn't. But she wound up where they were supposed to be because she heard that they needed cleaning facilities and traded her green room so that they could use it. Poor Donut. Because of all of this rocking and everything she throws up, everybody is just trying to figure out what is happening. Ripper turns to the audience. I'm sorry about that. Something just happened on Earth's surface, and we're gathering information. In

the meantime, let's go straight into the danger zone. And so this gives him some time to look into what's going on and the statement while the audience and the crawlers interact. So this is when we get the Hekla left her husband. He didn't leave me a choice. He was going to get us both killed. Now he's dead and I'm not. And do you regret it? Of course I do, thank you, the owl said Rolf. This question is for Karl. What's your most enjoyable way to kill?

That's kind of a fucked up question. I said, I don't like killing. No, but you killed good. He does, doesn't, he said, donut. I guess I like it when it's simple, clean, a quick punch breaking their neck. Rolf made a fist in the air. This is good. Thank you. I don't know why, but that was so funny to me, like, you know, just the fact that he's immediately like, you know, that's not cool at all to even ask. But then the answer I kind of thought, Ralf maybe would be like, really,

it's it being quick and clean, like lame. I thought it was going to be ripping the heart directly out of the lion, you know that kind of thing. But no, Ralph is like nice, perfect, something weirdly wholesome about it, even though it's about killing. So then we finally get Doughnut being asked about Ferdinand. He visited me often at night. We'd gaze upon each other across the wide expanse, and we both knew it was a love that couldn't be for we were star cross lovers. And he was hunted

by the authorities. And we find out that he was this cat that would come around when she was in heat, and his name was Gravy Boat, and he evidently was like they had been trying to find him with animal control and were never able to catch him. So this when she says he was hunted by the authorities, that's what it was. Oh my god, this is so funny. Oh my god, I'm sorry. I'm looking in the chat and Rob says, with the way the decade is going, Taylor Swift nuked from orbit, would not even face be

to read in the headlines. Yeah, no joke. Huh. So then my question is also for Donah, is if b is alive and she shows up, are you really going to leave Carl for her? A chill washed over me. I looked sharply at Donut, who looked back up at me with a look of confusion on her face. When we reunite with miss Beatrice. We will all work together. It will be like before. Chappy seemed perplexed by her answer, surely you don't think Carl will want to stay with her?

He turned his gaze to me, Carl, and he starts to say, we'll cross that bridge, and then Ripper interrupts, So they are saved from having this conversation. But it is very clear Donah is still not understanding the overall situation. First of all, she says, when we're reunited, so she

has no doubt that Beatrice is still alive. Honestly, Doughnut's faith that she's still alive is the only reason that I might think she is like, I don't know, I really don't know, But I just the fact that she has been telling Carl about how much he's been cheated on. But she doesn't realize even still that what she has been telling him is that he is being cheated on. You know, she's describing that situation, but she doesn't understand the full impact of it, and that is very childlike.

I am wondering when it's going to start to click for her. So this is when Ripper says, you saw our program interrupted and we have verification. This was because of a senseless pulse attack on a production asset housing our friend and frequent guest Manassa. I am sorry to say it appears she has perished in the attack, and the princess starts crying. There's more. In a tragic twist, it is apparent she was not the target. Simultaneous with

the pulse, Ripper paused, unsuccessfully attempting to compose himself. His anger bubbled over into his voice. Prince Stalwart of the Skull Empire released the following statement. And when they see the orc, Karl immediately clocks that he's on the ninth floor already. By the time this message hits the tunnel, the Earth Creature's Carl and Doughnut will have been executed by a pulse fired from my personal yacht. The Skull Empire will pay for any damages to any private property

destroyed in the attack. We are claiming under the Syndicate Rules regarding Independent Systems Sovereignty that this summary execution is both justified and appropriate, given Carl's statements advocating sedition. That is all the message off. They hit the wrong trailer. Tucker said he looked at us, his earlier snootiness was gone. He sounded in shock. It was meant for you. And Princess Donadia is like she was a friend of mine, Like I know that she was possessed by a worm,

but still we had been friends for ages. And then says the Prism Kingdom officially condemns this action, and we will be filing an immediate grievous with the Syndicate Court. The Valtae and the Skull Empire are strong allies, Tucker said, surely they'll see this as a tragic accident. Do you know how much money Manassa brings in for the Valtae each year? Represent those idiots? Stupid, stupid. She was a treasure. People think their technological sector brings in the most, but

that's not true, not even close. It's their entertainment assets. They just murdered her. I felt a sudden wave of anger wash over me. Now you're outraged when it was your friend. The cognitive dissonance was just overwhelming. I didn't dare say it out loud, But what the hell they destroyed us, destroyed our planet and one poorly shot missile or whatever the hell it was, and suddenly it's a tragedy. Fuck you, fuck you all, Carl Doughnuts said concern to

her voice. Karl, if they know they hit the wrong trailer, will they shoot at us again? Maybe we should go. Ripper looked at us and waved at us. It's okay, You're okay, It's just Dana. I'm getting word now. The Valtae are claiming one of their dreadnoughts in Earth orbit has destroyed the Prince Stalwart's yacht. Again. The Valtae are

claiming to have destroyed a skull Empire Royal vessel. From the message, it is clear Stalwart was not on board at the time, but it is rumored that both Quick Concert a Glue a Glue and former Prince Maestro were on board. D they killed the Queen and her son. Oh shit, we've got an international incident here, intergalactic incident. I don't even know how you would call this interplanetary incident.

It's a deal. It's a whole thing, that is Uh what war was it that started with like a shot and I think in for no, oh my god, Franz Ferdinand right anyway, I'm not I'm over time. I can't get into this, Okay, Uh, Tucker says so much for their alliance that weakens Valte's position on the bankruptcy action. Shut the fuck up, Tucker, by the gods are friend has been murdered. Wait did he see the Maestro is dead? Karl?

Did you hear that? I heard? Donut? As Ripper continued to breathlessly repeat everything that had happened, I mid eyes with Hecla, who continued to sit quietly a rock in the storm. She studied me curiously. Is this how it always is with you? Too? Then she asked, what was it? He said, scorched earth. I nodded. I put my hand on Donut with a little bit of chaos thrown in, I said, I am telling you she wants it bad. I can't help it. I know what I know. So yeah,

very very exciting couple of chapters. I was desperate to read more, but as we can see, it was for the best. I appreciate Michael going in and resetting the amount of chapters that I was covering each episode, because

a bitch talks a lot, a lot a lot. But yeah, the fact that Maestro is dead, I am wondering if anything is going to change with the uh, well, I was saying that I thought the Maestro was behind the radicalization of the city Elves, and now I'm starting to wonder if it maybe was the Skull Empire overall behind the radicalization of the city Elves and it isn't actually

just the Maestro specifically. It'll be interesting to see if the city Elves keep coming at them, or if the death of the Maestro would make it so that this all falls apart, or with the death of the Maestro somehow support whatever lie and make them come at them even harder. I just I don't know if there's actually

any link there or not. So if there is a change in the way this all is working, then that will either that will signal to me that maybe it is relevant, and if there's no change whatsoever in the way the city Elves behave that I'm going to assume it's unrelated to the Skull Empire entirely. So we'll see, we'll see. But yeah, I really really enjoyed these chapters, so I am looking forward to next week. I'm probably gonna listen to the next chapters right away. So thank

you guys again for hanging out with me. I appreciate you a lot, and I will be seeing you soon. Until next time, Tulalu motherfuckers. That was an unspoiled network podcast. Y