¶ Intro / Opening
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Happens, the Divorce Down Under podcast where we talk about everything and everything family law related.
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Another episode of Split Happens, the Divorce Down Under podcast with me, Alex, and my fellow family lawyer, Liza.
¶ Defining Domestic and Family Violence
Liza, I thought we would tackle today a a difficult topic. It's in the media a lot and it's one that we as family lawyers are dealing with a great deal, either peripherally or centrally through a case. And this is the domestic family violence issue that's sort of a uh something of a scourge. in terms of its media content. I thought we might go through from a Queensland practitioner's perspective. So th these are the laws that we'll talk about, predominantly in Queensland, although
It's pretty much the same everywhere else.
Yeah. Okay, so Let's kick off. What is domestic and family violence? What does it mean?
Well, um, the definition is that it's a pattern of behaviors intended to control or establish um establish power or cause fear by one person against another. So, um, for the lay people out there and those who sit they go, Well, what does that exact exactly mean? It's not just always physical, it can be non physical as well. So things like um psychol psychological um abuse, like intimidating behaviors, um, financial abuse, coercive control, um
That's obviously something which we hear of of a little bit more, and I'll talk about that later in coercive control.
So it incorporates a whole heap of things. So basically anything that any sort of behaviour that's going to is likely to cause some fear or apprehension and it's really important that it's not necessarily what the person um who is doing that is who is um perpetrating that sort of um behaviour. Um it that doesn't matter what they intended to do. It's about the effect that it's having on that other party. So it's really trying to
Somebody might then be oblivious about the behaviours that might be part of their personality traits. Yep. But still the other person on inside of that equation is going to find it oppressive.
That's right.
¶ Defining Abusive Behaviors in Law
So it's it it's a very tricky area.
Now this is in Queensland we we we have a particular act of parliament which is the Pinier is back, it's the Domestic and Family Violence Protection Act twenty twelve. Uh just we'll call it the act for the purposes of today. Um and obviously as with all of our podcasts, this is just about information out there. If you've got any specific
and urgent legal issues, contact a family law solicitor. If you're in any danger, contact the police. I would say those things. This is just some general information we're talking about today. So Domestic f and family violence, it covers a whole array of behaviours and it can almost be anything in the context of that relationship.
So it can be even even things like posts on social media, um, and it can be things ab about people on social media. It doesn't necessarily have to be Because as long as it is su in some way communicated, it might be a threat um that's advertised on social media or uh and I know that there's gonna be a peop people out there who say, Oh, well, they've got their own controls and things like that but sometimes things don't go through
um and don't get um filtered out. And so things can get um publicised in a way that's quite damaging and quite and makes it um For that person that it's about. fear like they can be quite fearful. Mm-hmm.
No, i it it's a slo it's such a broad ranging sort of category of behaviours. It d it even includes and I have seen this uh in in court court pleadings as well, it even includes going to court. Yeah. It it can be where somebody is deliberately using the legal system to oppress the other person. It might create them some financial pressures. It certainly creates emotional and stresses in people when you're being sued for something.
It's a very hard thing to get the balance right because of course somebody might have to go to court in order to be able to get for example, if there's a couple that's separated and one person is refusing contact, maybe because they're perfectly legitimately afraid of that person.
So you have to state well we've got to sort out our finances and you're ignoring what do we what do I do? So if you file proceedings, that can be characterized and I have seen it classified as this and argued in front of a judge.
I've I've argued that plenty of times, particularly where you've got a party who just won't give up. Um Yeah. And um and it's alleged that the husband uh one in particular I remember um a couple of years ago now. husband was alleged to have perpetrated um physical and verbal violence as well as emotional and financial abuse on the um on the mother. and also indirectly um and expose the children to that violence was so by doing it in front of the kids.
I mean in family law context, that's a big no no.
Yeah.
The children.
So and then what happened was despite all the evidence it was just mounting He hasn't changed his ways, the family reports. Um and um he wasn't prepared to settle, he wasn't prepared to resolve the financial proceedings that were attention just kept insisting that he wanted to have time with these kids, even though
Um the children's lawyer was against it. The family report writer was against Pretty damning findings about the historical abuse that had gone on, yet he still insisted and one of the first things that came out of the judge's mouth when we went to trial on it was that This better not be a perpetration of further abuse on the mother.
I've read the papers and if it is, I will be and you know, they directed it at counsel for the other side. If it is, I will be watching very carefully every single question that is put into every single answer. And the judge really cracked down on it and I thought it was really, really great to see um that someone, you know, had and I know that from an appeal point they might go, Ooh, whoops, overstepped the mark there. They've you know, formed this preliminary view.
But there was a yeah, but there was a a real basis though, I thought, for um the judge saying those things and saying what I'm not gonna let this be just further abuse and make put the mother through the ringer. Um and plenty of people do that. They'cause the there's the financial cost of going to a trial. And so it really is it's a it's a tough one to to try and work out whether or not this is actually abuse or if this is just someone Um trying to stand up for their rights.
And everything really will turn on its own facts. So if you're not sure then do get legal advice before you embark upon a some sort of conduct like that. Even even going to court.
¶ Resolving Disputes Amidst Violence Claims
There are I mean, as as we've talked about in other podcasts these days. many um opportunities to resolve things before going to court. You're positively encouraged to do that. You don't need to be communicating directly with an ex. You can just do that all through a third party. If you don't want to engage solicitors then contact a mediator and go through that way.
People are very quick to say, Oh, there's an allegation of domestic violence, therefore we can't mediate. Most family law mediations are done via a shuttle mediation, meaning that you're in different rooms. You don't see each other. You even organise your toilet times and your and your lunch times so that you're not passing each other in the corridors. There's no interaction.
And of course we do a lot of them by video now as well.
Well, that's right. So I I hear it a fair bit saying, Oh no, we can't mediate because of the fear of of the violence nothing. Well, in a way I kind of think that by mediating you're removing um that ability of of them having that control. You know, if you if you're able to reach an agreement that day, well the
Yeah. It all ends, doesn't it, if you can get things documented properly. But yeah, you I I do see like you a lot of section sixty I certificates, which is a slip of paper that a mediator has to give before you're allowed to start parenting proceedings, saying that wasn't suitable for mediation and
The background to that is that there's some allegation of domestic violence. But it ought not to stop you from resolving the legal problems. In fact The longer you leave things unresolved, the worse things will get and the more whether it's coming from the other side or through the processes themselves, it's it's an oppressive and difficult thing to go through a court, so
¶ Key Parties and Relationships Defined
Get things resolved quickly, as is always our general advice. Let's go back to the um domestic violence um situation from a uh a process point of view in Queensland then. So How would you go about using for domestic and family violence protection?
So
Well so some of the terms involved in that. So we've got an aggrieved.
Oh right, yes. Okay. So um the aggrieved. So you're when you're applying for a domestic violence or Um, you have what's called there's always an applicant um and that's sometime sometimes that's the police because they will make the application for you. Other times it will be you, the person who's the complaint. and the and you as the applicant are often um if you the also the aggrieved. Now the aggrieved is the person whom the complaint
Uh sorry, that um that sorry, I've done the other way. Uh you're the one who's complained um and and made the complaint. So you're the one who's been affected by the violence. Um who says that they've been affected in some way or another. So sometimes um you'll have an aggrieved but there'll also be additional named persons and that might be a child of the aggrieved as well.
Or a partner or something.
Or a partner or something like that. So often on the if you can have team agree And and the other team is team respondent. Now that's the person who has is alleged to have um committed the And so that um is often a spouse. Um Or a well, it's usually a spouse of some sort. Not really.
It's a relevant relationship, isn't it? And that that could be a de facto couple that have split up that are still together. It could be a married couple that have split up that are still together. It could be a couple who've had an intimate relationship. Or it could be a carer relationship.
Right.
¶ Specific Forms of Domestic Violence
So in order for there to be a this domestic and family violence.
It's not for strangers who fall out with one another or you know for colleagues at work or anything like that. I mean heaven for fen that we would fall out in that such terms. And if sending if sending somebody badgering them with emails is a is an offence under the act, then I think we'll Pretty sure.
Yeah, I was gonna say Um I'm in I'm in a hell of a lot of trouble with you, Alex.
If only I I got the chance to read my emails or indeed the inclination to do so. Right now, let's think about some specific types of um offences. Now, the Domestic and Family Violence Act in Queensland, or Domestic and Family Violence Protection Act, to give it its name. Give some examples as to exactly the sorts of behaviours and this is this is under section eight of the act. So maybe you could run through a few of those.
Um the first and the most obvious one is the physical like a a physical In that sense, you're talking about causing a personal injury to a person or threatening to a criminal matter a few years back now and my client was charged with an assault um because she threw her coffee cup not her coffee cup, sorry, she threw the coffee out of her coffee cup in the direction of The other party.
Yes, it did. And that was and that um qualified as an assault. And because of course you don't know as the other person, you don't know if that's c hot coffee, it could burn them. They don't know what else is in it. Be throwing the whole cup. Um, you don't know. And that is why The focus is on how
Too much sugar on it.
The the focus is on the um how that act or um whatever it is that's going on, that incident is received as opposed to the intention. It doesn't matter that you didn't intend for it to to spill out.
It goes back to what you were saying first. It's how it how that behaviour is perceived by the person on the wrong end of it.
Yeah.
That's whether it defines it. And of course it can be assault like that. At the same time it's an offence under the or or it's a categorisation, sorry, I should say, of domestic viol um family violence. Okay.
So that's... Um the next one is like coercing a person to engage in sexual activity or attempting to do so. Interesting one there. Because of course, um, you know, there's been much said in the media about um proving those Oh yeah.
These things they run concurrently with the possibility of it being a criminal offence as well. I mean some of these behaviours that we read about sadly in our in our professional lives and they are dreadful things that we read about. And other things you don't quite know whether they're truthful or not, but it's again, it's about the apprehension and the judicial officer will have to make that clear.
court and and in a f and in a family court type situation, um It it is a common occurrence. um one party um feeling um obligated to perform sexual acts on their husband and things like that. And and that sort of those sorts of allegations come out so often in affidavit. for trials that you know it it just shows and and people don't realise that they think violence, that's just husband and wife playing around in the bedroom.
No, it's definitely domestic violence. You don't force people to do things they don't want to. It's appalling.
People who who actually don't realise that that is domestic violence. And so they seem to think You know, it well there's plenty of I remember one one um fellow and I don't know whether he's being serious or just um having a go, but he he was saying, Well it's the wife's job
That's what I you know, that's what I married her for. Like Okay. I just it was um one of those, you know, moments where you just go, Oh okay, right, well, um I don't think that you're gonna do too well in the witness box if you're gonna come up with answers like that. Yeah we
We might just try and settle this one again.
Yeah, a total. A bad witness.
You might be a sexual bully and you're an idiot. Yeah. Um okay. All right. So well that's those are two pretty unpleasant things that we've talked about so far.
Look, they're all they're all unpleasant. Um, you know, there's damaging damaging people's property. Yep. So, you know, say for example you're in the house and um wife's chucking a holes through the wall, you know, that's that in in particular in front of um aggrieved whether it be you know might be husband or um other wife or You know you've
Do you know that crops up a lot. I uh in my use of practice, um, I've seen many affidavits in which, you know, predominantly it's the wife has said he didn't used to hit me, but he got so angry and he would punch a hole in the wall next to my head and things like that. Because of course we live in these houses with you know, with plaster board walls or and it's not that hard to knock a hole through them if you're angry enough and you it's terrifying.
I must say that in the scheme of things and as people are listening to this, I think that what they're going to realise is that Although what we have always thought are the most obvious cases of domestic violence are probably um the the least amount of if I could say it's the the lesser potency of the level of violence in a lot of these cases because um I'm just thinking of my w my more worst case types of um domestic violence and they are more of the
Yeah. Because they are the real uh and I'm not saying that physic physical violence is not real violence because it obviously is. But what it is It has a lasting impact that affects people's mentality, if it affects their mental health, it affects every aspect of their life and it doesn't stop when the bruise goes away. And so, um One of the biggest ones that I've always seen is that depriving the person So I've had Shout it.
¶ Beyond Physical: Deprivation and Control
I mean are we talking about people being chained up or what? Sorry.
Well well yeah, not so much chained up but um So they try not to do that. So what they do is they will threaten Do something or you know, we'll take the we'll take your child away if you try to leave me. So I had a case and it's actually happened. Um very similar. When the wife tried to leave the husband, the husband then rang the police and said, Um, my wife is trying to kill herself. We need the ambulance and the police.
So then police and ambulance turn up and of course wife's not trying to kill herself. She's just trying to leave the And um, police and ambulance doing their bit, they say to the wife, you know, come on, you need some help and all that sort of stuff. She's like, No, seriously, I'm not going to kill myself. Please just leave me alone. They don't believe her, so then they have her committed in a mental health facility for the next two weeks to check her out for psychological reasons.
And that is one of the most appalling things I've ever heard and it's happened like a similar somewhat similar circumstances in another more recent matter but It happens um to people and it's really really terrifying to know that this sort of stuff happens and but then trying to prove and try because of course there's gonna be people who are out there who you know, maybe are trying to kill themselves. And so how does the police and the ambulance how are they going to know?
Yeah, the first responders are just going to have to sort of make a very quick snap assessment. It's really about that person who's made those accusations. They've thought about that. That's a snap.
It's so
It's not a good thing.
Okay, so all right, so give me some other examples of things that might be considered to be domestic violence under the Act.
Um, you know, threatening uh to threatening to kill them, like verbal abuse. Things like yelling at them, yelling, You're useless.
The littling behaviors and things like that.
You know.
I don't forget f you know, Fido or a little Mr Tinkles or something. The the pet the family pets can get drawn into this.
That's right.
People threatening to kick a cat or to throw the dog out into the road. These are all things that we sadly see a lot. complained about. Sometimes they're true, sometimes they're not. I mean ultimately a judge will have to decide that, or in Queensland typically it'll be a magistrate if it doesn't go in the family courts.
Um yeah, we've got stalking and things like that. So monitoring.
Yeah, we live in an age of um smartphones and dumb operators, don't we?
Yeah, we do. You know, it's very you know, you see it all the time. People monitoring others' emails. Um And um stalking and their phones.
Mm.
No, definitely not.
No. And text messages of course.
'Cause uh usually you've got the same Apple ID. And so and it's through the kids a lot of the time.
Back and forth and back and forth. Some of the text message conversations that you and I have seen, and every family law practitioner, if anybody's listening to this, though who practices in this area, will know what we're talking about. Hundreds, if not thousands, of messages. you know, bombarding somebody, and it's absolutely overwhelming. And some of them could be really unpleasant.
Well my my son, um he sometimes gets my messages, um, which I've said to him, like I've tried to because we have the same Apple ID, so he's got his iPad. And I'll have my phone, but it's got the same Apple ID. So his stuff and I'm like keep trying to delete the message app thing from his i from his iPad'cause he'll say to me, goes, Oh, this person I'm Stop it, you know. So anyway.
Yeah. All right. Um I should mention as well that all of these awful behaviours, i you don't get around it by having somebody else do it on your behalf, do you?
No. No.
No, so if if you get a mate to do all this harassment, these behaviours, these threats You're just just you're culpable for the domestic violence. They they they they might commit a criminal offence, I don't know. But you're certainly culpable if you instigate that that pattern of behaviour.
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¶ Domestic Violence Orders and Conditions
Okay, so let's rattle through a little bit as to what a domestic violence order is.
So it's an order. It's an order made by the court to stop the threats or acts.
And by the court in this context when we're talking about it.
Straight to court.
Magistrates Court of Queensland, yeah.
And if you're in New South Wales, well local courts will do the same thing. So but they call them apprehended.
Same sort of diff. Yeah, D V O, A V O, all means the same.
So, um, they can those sorts of orders can stop you s or stop the the respondent. Remember that's the person who is alleged to have committed the acts of violence. Um stop them from approaching you. Um they you know it might be a you can't come within a hundred meters. They can have no contact orders. Um you know, uh there can be even ouster orders, meaning that they're gonna have to live somewhere else. They can't return to your their home
A couple living together, one commits domestic violence and either the the the person who's been offended or the police take out or apply to the court and are granted an order. Regardless as to whether or not those facts have been found to be true or not.
Yep.
Somebody could be made to leave their home. Where um I know, that's why I mentioned.
Yes. Oh, that was a that was an interesting case, that one. Um and I came back from court that day in an absolute Um whilst I am very I'm a very strong supporter o of You know making sure that there's no like violence in the home regardless of whether it's a g against a woman or against a man, it doesn't matter Um, I also believe that when there is a um a situation that has been Um and in this case the aggrieved did make something up because she was having a mental
Right.
She was she's so she's got mental health yeah. and she called the police and made a series of allegations, quite substantial. And of course when the police came round and woke the husband up, He didn't know what was going on and he had to get out of his his home and while it's all going on, um a temporary order is made for him not to be able to go to his home. There was an exception there that he could go Um with escorted by a police officer to collect some of his stuff.
But he had to go and live in, you know, in his car, um, until such time as the matter came back before the court, all because of an allegation which the aggrieved has later then
Okay.
Sorry, here's all my medical evidence. Um, you know, I'm I was having a bit of a moment. I do apologize, etc., etc. He's not I'm not afraid. We want to be together. Um and
¶ The DVO Application and Court Process
An absolute minefield, isn't it? Because there can be
Yeah.
Perfectly good reasons that you need to have somebody excluded from a home.
Yeah. But the thing the thing that that annoyed me the most was that we had to sit through a And the woman said to my client, she said, Oh, I want to talk to you about the behaviours that you um that you display that has caused you to have to be here today. So she's just assumed that what has happened is in fact.
The Monty Python crucifixion scene that you see too many times.
This is all a complete misunderstanding and And by all means, like that's a great service for people who um, you know, obviously there there is some truth to the matter. But every case needs to be looked at very closely and scrutinized.
Just take a broad brus broad um brush approach and just say, Right, we need to do it this way and you need to come in and have this counselling just simply because someone makes an allegation. No, that's true. Um I don't even know what I was talking about before that, but we were The ouster orders. They're the ouster orders, that's right. And so, anyway, but fortunately, one thing that you should know is that if it's the case that there is a misunderstanding and in this
Um, there are written exceptions that you can add to these orders. So, for example, you might have a no-contact order that's made against you, and it might be on a temporary basis. what you can do, there's orders that say things there's these written exceptions except with the written the prior written consent of the aggrieved which can be withdrawn at any such time. Um so and that the consent can be oral or All that sort of stuff. So uh the sorry, the withdrawal of the
in writing. So it does g give the aggrieved a lot more power mm but at the same time, if it's a legitimate um misunderstanding, then that's little way around it until such time as you can get through
Okay, so let's... Let's assume that, you know, you've experienced domestic violence and either y you've gone to the court and filled in the application form, which is a it's just called a D V one, it's a form available on the Queensland Court's website and You can contact the police and they'll talk you through the process too and You fill in your form, it comes before a magistrate. Yep. They'll usually make a temporary order. Wait.
No point trying to o oppose that.
Well you you probably won't know about it. If you're the responder
Oh yeah, that's right.
It's gonna be uh done w on what's called an ex parte basis, in other words, without you being there. You'll be served with the order, if you're the respondent, by the police, and it'll have a date and a time to go back to court. That's your first time that you're probably aware of this. And it may have the conditions. The standard condition of course is simply that you must be of good behaviour and not commit domestic violence, which is
It's it's broad enough to cover most things. Yep. And you shouldn't really need an order that goes above and beyond that. Sometimes applications and applicants and even uh whether they're police or individuals. We'll add in things about no contact with children.
And magistrates are they they're pretty well alive to the possibility that that could cause some difficulties for the children. So they might say, Except if it's in compliance with either an agreement or orders in relation to the children.
That then means that if you find yourself on the wrong side of a domestic violence order that stops you from having time with the children, then what you need to do is to file proceedings in the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia to get parenting orders which will then serve to g protect you from any breach of that order. Sounds it's it's very quick to say, it's very slow to do, unf unfortunately, and there can be some time lag in there. Whatever you do, don't breach the orders.
No, because that becomes a criminal offence.
Yeah, that's right. Because th we have different standards of proof when we're talking about courtrooms and in Getting a protection order, the standard of proof is on the balance of probabilities. So a court's only gotta be slightly more satisfied that the complainant, you know the aggrieved, the applicant, is telling the truth and there's a n and it's necessary
And or desirable to make an order. That's right. And if they do that then y you know, you're gonna be stuck with you know, that is a like a sort of Damocles over the respondents' head.
For the next five years usually.
¶ Strategic Use and Impact of DVO Hearings
Yeah, it changed from two uh to five years a f a little while back now, but um yeah, a five year protection order is the standard term that we see uh imposed by courts now. So you might need to get those terms varied. That's right. So how do you how do you go about doing that? Let's assume that the courts made the orders five years and maybe you've said, Do you know what? I don't mind. You can have your protection order, but I'm not admitting anything.
So you can consent to it without admissions.
And that's really important.
You need to make sure it's without admissions. And sometimes it is actually beneficial if you've got ongoing um family call Federal Circuit and Family Court proceeding. Um, then it may not be in your interest to um have a trial on these domestic violence issues because what's gonna happen is that um there'll be questions put to you about these um about the violence that is alleged to have have occurred.
And um Those those answers are going to be uh taken as evidence and there are likely to be have some findings of fact made in relation to those. And one thing that us family lawyers like to do is we like to get the transformation. From those proceedings.
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And we show them to the other court. And we d we do it for a couple of reasons. We do it because and the m the biggest one is that there's often going to be inconsistencies in what you've said to one court and this is not to say that you're lying. It's just You you know, when you tell a story, you go go to the pub tonight actually no not tonight, or any night. Um go to the pub tell your mate every night, whichever night, go to the pub, tell your mate a story about how your day went.
Then go home and tell your spouse how your day went. And although both will be true, both will be slightly different and lawyers lightly. But the thing the point is that those those inconsistencies, lawyers love Yeah, trying to trying to hook you on these little um
A prior inconsistency.
I love it. Yeah, and there's going to be plenty of them. It's just it's just fodder and then
And saying I suggest you all step outside and see if you can't reach some
That's right. Um those prior and consistent statements will usually rattle that person in the f in those federal circuit and family court proceedings'cause they're gonna go Well, I didn't mean to say it like this and they'll feel nervous and they'll feel anxious and then then it it sort of m um trips them up even more. So that for me is the biggest thing, regardless of the findings of fact, it's like, yeah, okay, well these
Let's assume that we don't consent to the orders being made without admissions or any in in any other way. So there then has to be a hearing. Yes. I mean the there's protocols and processes along the way and we won't talk about those too much, but basically it involves You swapping written evidence in the form of affidavits and If you don't compromise, you'll end up one day in front of a magistrate.
And they will hear evidence from both sides. They'll read the affidavits beforehand. Your lawyer will then have the opportunity to cross examine any other witness, which will usually include the aggrieved and all the respondents. And then the magistrate will weigh up the evidence. decides decide upon any findings of fact, as you say, make a decision about who's telling the truth if there's a conflict, and then decide the orders.
And if you go through that process, as you said before, the finding of fact that'll be a transcript that any family lawyer will certainly want to get hold of. Because if there's a finding of fact made of unacceptable risk, for example, in relation to children and family violence, that will find its way into parenting proceedings. Quicker than Jack Robinson.
¶ Modifying Orders and Misunderstandings
Okay, all right. So there are final orders made, but sometimes life changes, circumstances vary, and you might want to change the orders. So how would you go about doing that?
You need to file what's called an application to vary the I don't know what number form it is, but it's you can get it from the court website or like the magistrates' court website or you can just get
The registry being your local uh basically the office attached to the sidewalk.
There's usually a domestic violence, domestic and family violence registry within the magistrates' court registry. Yep. So or the Um, I should say. And so you just get a copy of that form and fill it in. Um, it doesn't give you much room to say too much, but I always like to um just say see an extra and then just give them everything. Yeah.
Some f sometimes forms are a bit clunky and if you can put together your reasons in a very coherent statement it's probably best just to pop that on the back as you say and say please refer to annex your A or whatever it might.
Can I just say that it often doesn't really work that much unless um Mm applying to vary the order isn't really going to work that often unless you've got the Grieved named. Yeah. Or if there's some other thing that makes it unworkable.
And it is the case sometimes that orders get made that well, you you mentioned one a short while ago. that probably shouldn't have been made or there should have been th there should have been other terms put in them because you can find situations ridiculously where a couple who want to be together are precluded by operation of law from being together. Even when there's actually been no finding effect about any domestic violence.
The problem with those things and and well and anybody listening to this might think that we're opposed to D Vs and we've definitely not. No. It's more about they need to be used for a proper purpose. Because otherwise it you know devalues the currency of the orders that are really necessary. Some people have s dreadful situations they experience and they need to get a protection order and the police need to be aware of that situation. Because of safety.
Yeah, and I'd say that more often than not, that people are are legitimate about the allegations of violence that have gone on. It's just unfortunate. There's a couple will ruin it for the rest of them.
Yeah.
¶ Critical Safety Measures and Support Resources
It really does because it then puts it puts doubt over which ones who is telling
And I think I said at the start as well that look, a domestic violence order is is and can be a very helpful order document. But if you have a violent ex partner or somebody of that nature, you have a relationship with somebody who's very violent, You shouldn't rely upon purely a protection order because it is ultimately a piece of paper.
That's right.
You need to be contacting the police if you are ever in any danger.
And I think too, um with that And people are going to either comply with it or they're not going to comply with it. If they are that violent and that um temperamental and and that, you know, crazy
Then
A piece of paper is not necessarily gonna deter them. So you do need to take additional steps.
There are reasons that refugees exist, sadly.
And and I and I um wholeheartedly recommend that you get in contact with places like D VPC. Um because they are And um, you know, the helplines. There's men's helpline, there's also the women's helpline. There's a kids helpline, you know, if you're a child who is listening in the back seat of the car and mum hasn't turned it down, not realising what we're talking about today.
And and you think that this is something that you need to talk to someone about. There's kids helplines too. So it's really important that you reach out and try and get some help and get that strategy in Try and protect yourself in addition to that order.
If you need some help putting that plan together, then I I'd urge you to contact D V Connect. they are um
I've had a couple of clients come through there and they they get you know, they get you into a refuge, they get you they are so good with um
You know, uh helping you with things like making sure there's no tracking devices on your phone and your car. Yeah. All this sort of stuff. So I've had quite a few people um in recent years that have fled um domestic violence and come through D V Connect and um they are just brilliant out there in terms of helping people Respond, turn your phone off, do this, do that. Etcetera. So
TV Connect. Now, they've got a website, but if you if you're listening and you just want to get onto this straight away, they've got a phone number which is 1-800-811-811. You've got any worries about making a plan together for your safety, then give them a call. And if you're immediately under harm, of course, you just ph phone the police. That's right.
If you do have to move out, you might find yourself stuck for money and you may be in a position to be able to go and seek some urgent and emergency assistance from Centre Link as well. But peop people at D V Connect and those sorts of organisations will point you in those directions. So look, domestic violence is i it's a modern scourge. We hear a lot about it in the media. There are some tragic cases which we've all come across. Um
They sometimes have interacted with family law and sometimes not, but more often than not they do. It's where there are you know there are children involved, there are partners that have become estranged to the particularly violent person. So don't take don't take anything that we're saying, even if we're sometimes a bit light hearted, we we clearly are very serious about
And if you've got any concerns, you please contact us. Or if you've got any questions, please contact us. But not above the police and not above TV Connect. Your your solicitors can help you, but we are people that create documents and argue for your orders in court. your emergency services will help protect you in that moment.
Can on just on that other note about um there is a charity that I'm heavily involved with and that is called Walk with Um, and they provide meals to people who can't afford it and they do a lot of fundraising to provide for people and a lot of them come from domestic violence situations. And so um if anyone who's listening wants to donate to Walk With Us, a charity, um then please drop me a line and I'll let you know how you can do that.
Um, alternatively, you know, if you know, any of those uh domestic violence charities out there, they always need some help. So, you know, if you've got some spare time.
Thanks very much for that. And thank you very much for listening today. It's a massive topic and we've barely scratched the surface of this and I'm sure that we'll talk again about some of the specific issues around... Especially the interaction between family law and domestic violence, but that's probably for another day. In the meantime, thanks for listening to me, Alex, and my fellow family lawyer, Liza, on Split Happens, the Divorce Down Under Podcast.
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