Scrubbing In with Becca & Tanya: A Different kind of Makeup

welcome that. If you're a bachelor or a pop culture fan, We've got a very fun episode for you today. If you're part of Bachelor Nation, then you might be familiar with Becca Tilly and her podcast Scrubbing, in which she co hosts with a real life bff, Tanya rat. In each episode, you can hear these friends fan girling over their favorite shows, working through boy troubles, and hanging out

with the biggest celebrity guests. Becca and Tanya often discuss the importance of being true to yourself, being who you are and being proud of that, and in order to make confident choices in your life, it's important to arm yourself with knowledge before taking action. And that's where twenty three and Me comes in. Tanya recently took a twenty three ME test and is excited to receive her reports.

She believes the health information contained in a twenty three ME test can be empowering, especially when it comes to learning more about your health and family history. After discussing what their producer Mark learned from his own twenty three and me reports, the ladies sit down with representatives from twenty three and Me to learn more about what Tanya

can expect to learn from hers. Let's listen in as Becca and Tanya dive deeper and learn how the information contained in twenty three test reports can inspire you to take action in your own life. Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya Wrath and I Heart Radio Punk. Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in scrub a dub dub um. How's it going so good? So? I have been cleaning out my apartment and I got rid of two trash bags of just like old spices that are expired and just

kind of like all that kind of stuff, you know. Yeah. I found my journal that I used when I did the calling in the one, Yeah, which remind listeners that what year was that, So I believe I started it in uh and into nineteen, so this was I don't

even know, a couple of years before the pandemic. And basically it's a it's a seven week program where every day you have homework and you do this thing, and you have like a journal that you write every You have like one journal that you do all your homework in, right, and a lot of the homework involves cutting and pasting and kind of making these like collages. So my journal

has several different collages. But I was looking through and I found this one and it is so like specific and crazy because this is before I met Red Star and I literally like found him, like I brought him

to me, like I called in the one. So for the listeners described for the listeners who can't hear or can't see, sorry, um, it's a it's a like a picture of a little a little kid and a man and they're like in a lake or something right in the background, and then there's the words Mr Sunshine across the lake and then there's a picture of Gabrielle Union and Dwayne Wade. So I love the relationship between Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade. I've always loved them. I think

they're just like a really good team. Um, they are true partners and I feel like they treat each other like king and queen, right, So I love their relationship. What I didn't realize at the time Gabrielle union. And they have their own kids as well. But she is also a step mom. Wow. And Mr Sunshine describes my boyfriend to a t like he is just like this, like happy positive man. Mark's grimacing, but it's true. I'm kind of with Mark, Okay. So he is like a

ball of sunshine. That guy is happy as a clam. I think you are. I think you are missed Sunshine, which would then would make Robbie Mr Suntime. I don't think. I don't think you've ever called him Mr Sunshine, but I think people refer to you as Sunshine all the time. Okay. And we have a dog together named Sunny Sunshine. That's more significant than any of the other things. So with Sunshine, this is the name is Sunny Sunshine. Her name is Her name is Sunny Sunshine, Radha. Since when was her

middle name Sunshine? Talk? It is Sunshine? Okay. When you found imagining Tanya like going to her head house. She's going to bring this all together, and she's like, Sunny doesn't have a middle name. It's Sunshine. No, it is Sunshine because we wanted to name her Sunshine, but we thought Sunny was cuter. Prove this somewhere anywhere. We might need a text from Robbie. Robbie's kids who play with Sunny of the time at least know that her middle name is Sunny and her last name is rad. Wait. Wait,

please wait, Tanya, please don't text him. Can I text him and ask what her middle name is? Yeah? Please don't promise. I'll leave it here and I'll put my hands up like this, Hi, what is Sunny's middle name? Or maybe you can say full name. No, that's good, I'm gonna say middle name because that feels like my me.

I'm like doing something where I'm doing something with Phoebe. Okay, So anyways, I think it's really cool and I a lot of those things I think you put on there, and I think this is really cool about manifesting and vision boards and stuff. Is that you put it on there, not actually knowing exactly what it's gonna look like, but being able to look back and go like, oh my gosh, who would have known? And I haven't still touched that

journal in years. I like literally found it because I've been kind of cleaning out and going through stuff in my kitchen. It was like in my sadly it was in my junk drawer, but um, I started flipping through it and so I was like, really kind of taken aback by that. Well, Um, I can't believe that was in two thousand eighteen, Like my mind is blown up.

Feels like last year we were talking about calling him the Wind, but it's a seven week program and I didn't really I didn't do it every single day for the seven weeks. I think it took me a little bit longer. So one time him, you've really put in the work. You really couldn't. Amongst us, I will have to say that it is possible that when you do these vision boards, you are then free to retroactively justify everything that's on them, and you've done this in the past.

Was on one and then like three years ago he was a guest on the show and you're like, holy crap, my vision board came true. I think that's a stretch because John Legend and my boyfriend went to the same college. Okay, again, if if you would, if you hadn't met somebody totally different than Robbie, you would find ways to make that book. Guy, That's not true. Mark, Listen, sometimes it is easy to do this. And then I had the vision board with

this cabin that I literally ended up staying in. But that was more like a direct, Like that really was a direct. I'm gonna put my hands on just to show you, guys, one more photo. I'm not texting him, I swear I already got a respond to this, so funny hold on. And so there's also this picture that I put of this couple kissing on a bed and the words right above it say in the right love, we will discover new love for ourselves. And he's done

that for me. Okay, but I think this is what Mark saying that anyone that was not so specific get thank you. But I I think that the key here is that you manifested a love that you cherished and who loved you, and it was what you were looking for and you found that. And I think that's the main focus of finding this journal is not so much the specifics, but more about you calling in the one. Guys,

it was pretty exciting for me. Okay, but if you had met a different guy, totally different, who doesn't have kids, and like, look at this. Look he's right there with a little boy. He was with his nephew last weekend, and he's so great with kids. I totally see how this comes together. And Mr Sunshine on our first date, he had to get his sunglasses out of the glove comparment because the sun was in his eyes so brightly. I mean, you, guys, how perfect is this? Okay explained

the Dwyanne Wade and Gabrielle Union connection. I still can't explain that with Robbie. Oh my gosh, you just don't get it. Mark, you just fell in fact that she is a step mom. You would have found a way you have said. Oh my god, you guys, he loves basketball and I put Dwayne Wade and Gabrielle Union on my vision bar I can't believe it. Guess what, I didn't even know he was an athlete. And by the way, Robbie does love basketball. There's another tie in there. It

is what team did he play for? I'm not sure. I don't like basketball. Okay, wait, you guys, this mess, this thread is the funniest thing. So I just said, Hi, what is Sunny's middle name? And he says l L hi dot dot dot Not sure. She has many middle names, not sure if anything official. I think it's Randy Moss Sonny Randy Moss, yeah, rad, but it has changed several times. So I said, like the dead EMERGI and he goes. I just asked the kids. They also said Randy Moss,

Randy Moss. There you go. That is not that is not that is not her official middle name. He said it. He said what is Tanya saying? And I said Sunshine and he goes, l O L. I mean that has been tossed around. No, Randy Moss, shiner. I'm calling her Sonny Randy Moss from now on, you guys. There's no official birth certificate for a dog, so there's not like Tanya Tanya. This is this is actually important. Randy Moss is an professional athlete, as is Dwayne Way. Bring it on, Becca,

bring it on. I'm telling you, I'm I'm trying to bring out your bachelor journals and see what you manifested. I literally have life in general organized my place so well that I have no idea where it is, but I will locate it and find because I do want to read some of those excerpts because they're pretty funny. But um, yeah, we'll just stick with with yours today. But when you said that, I was immediately like, I need to find the journal, and then I was like,

where would that be. It's in a nicely labeled ben somewhere. I do know that. I'm just so happy I didn't throw in my journal. My gosh, I mean, that is some gold right there. I would never think you'd throw away your journal. Like that feels so off Brandford. I gave my book, My Calling in the One Book to somebody else, Well, that makes sense, like you're passing it on, but like a journal feels like so I imagine your your you know, excerpts are very um in depth and

something that you want to keep for your wedding one day. Honestly, they're kind of embarrassing. No, I I'm so shocked at the way I wrote as a twenty six year old, Like, that's what talked to me the most. Reading the Bachelor Journal, I was like, wait, sounded like a high school or two. That's how mine sound, like, I'm like I hope that and like my fear is that, like yeah, yeah, I'm

with you there. Um. Today we're actually going to be talking about twenty three and me and it's kind of like just switching gear as a tad, you know, like from manifestation to like actual DNA yes, um, And we're going to be talking about like kind of how important it is to know your background for you know, multiple reasons. But Tanya sent hers in, you haven't gotten your results

right now. I haven't. But we're going to kind of talk through like what are you're like, what are you hoping for from the results and what are you looking for? Are you nervous about anything? You expecting anything? Are you nervous about anything? I don't know. Doesn't it tell you

like health stuff? It's yeah's health stuff. And I'm like pretty sure that I'm a hundred percent serbian because it's like both my parents and their parents are and their parents are, so I feel like I'm hand to handle p What if you were what what would you be if you were? I don't know, but then I would look at my grandparents differently. What if you had something totally different? Would that totally shake you up? It would

be kind of interesting. Well, that's such everything. I've heard so many crazy stories about it, of like people thinking one thing their whole life and then just innocently doing this test and getting the results and being like, but there's a lot of health befits to like you can kind of see if you're predisposed, predisposed, pre preconditioned thinn don't second pre disposed to certain like illnesses and ailments and diabetes and things like that. So there's a lot

of also health benefits as well. Mark, you did it right, I did it. I'm looking at my ancestry results right now. I'm nine point seven percent European, mostly Northwestern European, about a quarter of Ashca Nazi Jewish. I'm primarily from Norway, Sweden, Germany, England, Ireland, which none of that is terribly surprising, but it's still fun to look at, fun to check out, and then yes, you do the health stuff on here, nothing alarming, that

was nice. It's really fun to dig into. Plus they have all kinds of like i don't know what you call them, like cute little quirks about you, like you know, um, you are more disposed to like um butterflies, but no, more like foods more like sto as opposed to sweet foods, or like asparagus really makes your piece smell like stuff like that, I'm not I'm not kidding. That was actually in the But doesn't asparagus make everybody's piece smell? Can

they tell us how? I've never I've never had that with asparagus, Like I'm never like, oh my god, like people described, I've never experienced that. I'd like to smell you your p after you have asparagus. Okay, we'll set that up. Okay, we'll have to do that on another day. As Asparagus order detection likely can smell the asparagus order in your urine, and I can't. They nailed that one.

Kind of vague no, kind of but they say they say you're more likely or not as likely, like, for example, in caase bitterness, you're likely to have a cleft chin. I do, You're likely to have to tach your lobes. I do? You know that sort of thing? Wow? All right, so yeah, we're gonna get back into this with reps from twenty three and me, so we'll be right back

with them. All right, you guys, so we're bad. Can we have a Lisa and Stacy here from twenty three and me, and they're here to answer all of our questions that we have about the twenty three in the process, so please welcome them in to the scrubbing in oh R. So I want you to kind of talk about you know, when you when people here twenty three and me, they think that it's like just ancestry they're going to see

like where they came from. But there's so much more to it than that, right, Yes, I'll take this on UM. So there is a whole world of health information within twenty three and me that is super exciting. I'm a genetic counselor, so my background is all about genetics and thinking through health UM. Overall our Healthless Ancestry service, there's over sixty five health report and they touch upon you know, your potential chances to have a genetic um increased likelihood

for a different conditions. They also write information about genetic variants you might pass on to your children and just neural wellness, exercise, weight, diet, all sorts of things UM. And then there's even the Way Through Plus membership that adds another twenty plus reports and ongoing features throughout the year,

So a lot of health information. I have a question about it, like, when you get information about health, is it kind of is it specific like percentages or what does that look like for people when they get it? Is it just like this is something you're likely to maybe uh experience, or how does it work? So it can vary. So there's two different ways of thinking about

genetics and your health. So one is you may have like one or two genetic variants, and those are just like the DNA differences between people, we just call those genetic variants. Um, you may have one or two that like really might impact a certain condition. Um, where you if you have that variant, your your chances of developing that condition, you know, maybe like three times or four times higher than the average person. And so in those conditions,

we might tell you you have this genetic variant. Here is how it it potentially impacts your health. How many people with that variant go on to develop that condition? Um. There's a whole another side of this, which is conditions that you might be more familiar with, like type two diabetes, migrating things like that, where there's not just one smoking gun, there's not just one or two genetic variants, but it might be thousands or tens of thousands of genetic variants

that all have this like tiny little effect. And what we do then is we add all that up to sort of give you this overall predisposition where we tell you might be at increased likelihood and in those cases then we can give you like a percent chance, right, how many people like you? What percentage of people like you actually have that condition? And so you can kind of get that like, um exact number on it for yourself. Yeah,

that's really helpful. Have you all had I mean, I'm sure there's so many stories of people who maybe never even considered something specific about their health being a chance for them, and then they do this test and get it back and get the results, and maybe they go in for a check up and catch something that they wouldn't have caught sooner had they not seen that possibility.

I don't know if I'm worrying this right, but have you all had any stories like that or seen anything where people like it literally could save a life if they caught something early. We do. We actually get a lot of customers writing in and we have a whole team that works on these amazing customers stories to get them out there. And you know, the ones that I think come most of mind that come up a lot

are associated with brc UM. So this is if you have a variant, it greatly increases your chance for breast and a varian cancer and women there's also other certain cancers as well, and it cannot big effect for meals too. UM. And this is something that a lot of people have no idea they have these variants. We only test for a selectree and we're not diagnosing cancer right there. Stuffining

limitations testing right, UM. But if you have this very and UM, it's really important to get it confirmed right You need to get confirmatory testing. But it is such that you there's a lot of different actions that you can take. The greatly reduced your risk for cancer because we're talking about very high numbers here, UM. And the very tests for a really common people that have Oscepanazi Jewish ancestry to one in forty. So so many people

don't know that. And ultimately we have these amazing stories of women who have found out um, some were adopted and had no idea they had Osponazey Jewish ancestry. UM. Somewhere conceived via sperm donor and had no idea, right, or some knew that had Ashtonaze Jewish ancestry, but had no idea that there were these you know, increased likelihood that they could have these variants. Um. And so just incredible stories of the actions people are able to take

and this empowerment. Um. So we've seen it from you know, the v r A type two diabetes. We get a lot of stories that people saying, this makes me realize I need to take action. Right, there's some things that I can do just living that healthy lifestyle that can really have a big impact on reducing your chances. So

we get a lot of these stories. Um. It's one of my favorite parts of what I do because I get to hear these stories and so you really get that feeling of Okay, it's there's there's a reason of what we're doing behind this, Right, we're actually impacting people live And I know the test is is I did it?

So it's easy, Like you get the test and you fill up a tube to like a certain line with like your spits you just like spit in it or whatever, but is there like it Let's just say you didn't spit to the line or if there is like would you send it back to somebody else, like to somebody and say like do it again or like does that ever happen? Yeah, So we have some quality control measures. So when you send that too off to the lab, they're going to check to make sure that we can

you know, get enough DNA so you know your your spit. Basically, what we're looking at is like the cheek cells that sort of come along for the ride in your spit.

So sometimes there's not enough cells in there, so we can't get enough DNA out, so the lab will do those like sort of quality controls, or there's not enough spit or you know that it doesn't run really and so if any of that happens, that sort of gets kicked back and generally, well said a replacement kit so you can give it a second try, um, you know, to to to get that full experience. We do whatever

we can. I was happy that it was I was happy that it was spit because I don't know why I thought DNA testing was like blood or like, you know, so I was like, I don't know what you're gonna say, is just like I'm not I don't know about pricky, like sending the blood and then they're like, no, no, just spin. I was like, oh, great, three it is. It's a lot of spit. But yes, it's a way better collecting than than blood in my opinion, way easier,

way less dramatic. Um. Tanya and I were talking about so Tanya, both of her parents are Serbian and her their parents are Serbian, and she was like, I feel like I would be a Serbian and I was. I was saying, like, what if your results came back and it was totally different than what you expected. Do you see a lot of those stories And I'm assuming people who maybe aren't familiar if they were adopted and weren't familiar,

you know, with biological parents. But um, I imagine that can be kind of overwhelming for people sometimes to get these results and get answers that maybe they didn't even realize they had questions about. Yeah, I think what the

ancestry side. Um, you know, one thing to always keep in mind is what we're good looking at is like what your DNA says, and that's not the same as like culture and the like how you grew up and all of that, right, and so a lot of times you know, political borders change and you know, maybe the border has has shifted, and so you're getting a result of saying like, hey, I'm from this other place, but I know my family is you know, is from here. And sometimes the DNA doesn't reflect what we know that

happened happened in history. So, um, you know, it's it's a start. The ancestry is sort of a start of a journey to like look into maybe hey, maybe your family moved and it was you know, my great great great grandparents that we didn't know about came from somewhere else.

So that sometimes what happens with those results. Um, but I think what's interesting is hearing people talk about like, oh, it was exactly what I like thought I was and it was great, or it was exactly what I thought it was and I wish I had found something different. So either way, for the extended one that you were saying like that, the um, what were you saying earlier that there was like a second layer of it that

you can kind of follow up and get more information. Plus, yeah, can you get like food allergies with that or is that totally different? So we don't have food allergies right now? We do have a couple things that touch on food. UM. So we have like lactose intolerance or predisposition to things like celiac disease, but not specific food allergies. UM. Foods a little tough because it's um both you know you how you react, but you know we have we're all

we all have this gut microbiome UM. And so it's also how like all your little colonizers are reacting to the food you eat as well. So it's a little tough to do food allergies with just with just your genetics. We do have to other allergies though, like dog and cat allergies, which is really interesting. Yes, thank you, Stacy. I always wonder if maybe I'm like mildly allergic to dogs,

like my dog sitting right here. I would I don't, I would never care, like I would never do anything about it, but I've always wondered that and with cats. But I think I think even just the basic of something like celiac disease or lactose intolerant is really helpful for people because I don't think a lot of people realize how much if it's affecting your body, how much it affects like everything. It can affect your mental health,

Like the gut is so powerful. Let me tell you, I never officially been told that I'm lactose intolerant, but like the way that dairy makes me feel, I'm like diagnosed myself. So I'm curious to see what my twenty three in me says about my lactose tolerance. Yeah. Yeah, and at least you might be able to help me

out here. But lactose intolerance is really interesting me because actually, you know, the way human I've eolution was everyone was lacked of intolerant, and there was actually a genetic variant that occurred that made it so that you could actually stay lack of toler So it's much more likely for people to actually be lacked of intolerant in a lot of the world. So um, it's something a lot of

people don't think about the Really it's very common. So uh, we're actually looking at a very lactive tolerant that you know, it's something that came about later on in evolution. That's really cool. And I also think, like I was, I really like that people can get the results and they don't have to be a scientists store a doctor to read them and understand them because sometimes I mean when you get your labs done at the doctor and they're like if we sing you the labs and you look

at it and you're like, um, no idea. And so I think um Mark was reading his earlier and talking. He was reading it as he was, you know, talking to us about it, and it was so just like straightforward. There was no moment of me like what in the heck does that mean? Like it's all very yeah, So I wanted to acknowledge that, and like how important was that for you all? Because people are doing these at home tests and making it really accessible and easy to

get the results without feeling confused. I guess, yeah, that's that's top of mind as we're creating these reports, is right. We're always thinking about not just how can we make it, you know, easy for someone to understand, but also like who is the person that's going to be receiving this result, and like really thinking about what what do they need

when they're receiving these different results. You know, some are super fun and friendly and some are more serious and and really thinking through and keeping that person in mind is like as a core part of how we do our work. Yeah, I love that part about it. Um. Is there anything else that we didn't touch on that you would want people to know about twenty three me that maybe haven't done it or haven't heard about it, or this is their first time hearing about it. You know.

I think, you know, we really feel that knowledge is empowerment, right, Um. But it is something that you know, you can't undo knowing. And there's a lot of things that people find you touched upon this before, things that you never thought about that you discover about yourself. And so I always say the genetic counselor inside of me just as really, you know, think about it, but go into it with a very open mind. We have all these education tutorials, take a

look at, um, all the information that's out there. Um. But I really feel very strongly that knowledge is power and there is so much knowledge that you can find out about yourself from this. Well, thank you so much for joining and thank you so people. Where can people get the test and get it sent to them? Is there a great question? Thank you? Yeah? I mean I

think the main is just this pointing career a new website. UM, I go there almost every day, so we definitely have prom dot com is the main aspect of how you can access it and kind of see all the different operations that are out there. Right, we talked about the different Healthless ancestry membership, so there's a lot for everyone. It's nationwide, right, yes, amazing. Well, thank you all so much for coming on and um chatting with us about

it and chatting so that everyone could listen. We really appreciate all for scrubbing in. Thanks for having us. Yeah, thank you guys. All right, you guys, we are back and Mark is back to read emails as I really struggled last week. Thank god, so you struggle. It was just like hard to follow you like I was, just like Tony was like miss something, I miss Mark. This is really hard. Thank you and thank you Becka. And

here we go. This is from Amanda. I've been I don't know, offdating a man off because of me who is so loving, cares about me, tells me, shows me all the time, but not in an annoying way. When we first started dating, I was fresh out of a three year relationship. That was my excuse, and I wanted to see what else was out there. He's the best one I've found for sure. However, I have a masters in nursing and he works at a brewery, and I know it shouldn't bother me, but it does, not the

brewery part, but the educational financial part. He pays his own bills and can afford enough, but I've never seen myself being the money maker. Is that a deal breaker? Or am I throwing away true love over something stupid? So here's my my knee jerk reaction is if you're if you found this man that's like everything that you've wanted, and it's like has all the qualities that you're looking for.

Circumstances change, and to me, it's more it's not like what he does professionally, but what his dreams and his ambitions are, because we don't know, like maybe he's a bartender right now, but one day he wants to own his own bar. Or some people bartend and do you know their other worker, are you know, starting their business on the side, And that's you know, so I feel like we don't have quite the information to see what

his dreams and aspirations are. If he doesn't have dreams, he doesn't have aspirations, and he doesn't really have goals, and that's bothering you. Then that's always going to bother you and that's not going to go away. So I feel like ultimately it will be a deal breaker, but

I feel like on the surface level, it's not. Yeah, I think this is just based on who you are, what you what's important to you, because like for me personally, I don't think this would be a deal breaker, but I do think I do think it's valid if it's a deal breaker, Like, I don't think you're a bad person for wanting someone who has like career drive and

like Tanya said, dreams. But granted, we don't know much about him, but what I'm gathering from her email is that he's very content working at the bar, and you know, there's hasn't been much movement or he hasn't shown progress in that area of like going to the next level.

It is totally personal preference, you're right, yeah, And I just think like, if that's something that's important to you, and you're always gonna make him feel bad about his decision, because like, for someone to feel content in something, especially when it's work and they and they're still able to pull their part and pay their part, then it's not fair for you to make him feel less than because that is something that you care about more than he does.

So I think if you can look past it and realize, like, hey, maybe I do make more, maybe I'm a little more driven than him, and maybe you know that's how it's always gonna be. And I love him and he's wonderful. I can look past it, then I think you stay in it. But I think that if you're always going to worry about that, and also it's going to lead into you making him feel less than I think maybe you find someone who's more on the level that you're

looking for. You can't control how you feel, right, I mean, how many times have you heard from people who are dating somebody who checks every box. There's just something missing. There's just it's not tickling your pickle, to use your phrase, it's not sparking you. For whatever reason. He's hot, he he treats me great, he's so friendly, he's so sweet, but for some reason, it's just not happening. That's okay, And the sometimes we can't put our finger on that

and what it is. And maybe this is because of his his ambitions, and maybe it's not. Whatever, it doesn't matter if it is or not, it's not happening for you, And so I think, yeah, I think you probably have to move on no matter what the reason is, it's

just not happening for you. You know what's interesting though that I think about because like back in the you know, olden days, when like it was like the man works, the woman stays home and raises the kids, and like that was just the dynamic of what it was like. Did men back then feel that way about their partner? Because it's like, when you have two people in a relationship, I mean, I feel like odds are more likely that

somebody's going to make more than the other. Whether it's now, whether it's the man or the woman, or or in any sort of relationship there's two people and somebody's going to make more than the other. It's just it is what it is. So it's like I wonder back in the day if men felt like why didn't men feel that way about their wives? Do you know what I mean? Well, I think I don't think this answer your question. I think a lot of men are bothered by women who

make more than them. They find it emasculating. Yeah, but but like it's so funny because as women, like, we've come so far from that now in terms of the money and the equality in the house and relationships and stuff. But you know when she says she makes more than him, it is there is this thing still with a woman making more than her male partner. Well, it's like what we're almost like trained by society to think what it's supposed to, what the dynamic is supposed to look like

that's changing. So it's like it is, but it's just like everything that's ingrained in us, you have to unlearn it, and sometimes it takes a lot of work to do and sometimes it's like I also think deal breakers are so personal, like someone else's deal breaker. I might be like, really, like you're gonna end something with someone because of that, But I might have a deal breaker that someone else is like, really, you're going to add something with that.

So I think if if it's constantly bothering you, and I agree with Tania, like, if this is a this is one of those things that's the society expectation that's ingrained in you and that's what you're main focus is on, then maybe there's a way that you try to work through that. But I also think there's a lot of fishing to see and if I don't know, I mean to own that bar one day, or at least kind

of move off the ladder in the restaurant industry. And if you sits around playing video games all day, then I can see why, Oh for sure. I mean I would be the same way even if it wasn't like a bartender. Let's just say, I don't even know. I don't want to like, you know, I don't want to

stereotype it any job where you're not moving. Yeah, go, Like I I love the thought of like somebody that wants to move forward or push more or you know what I mean, like not be so like I just I don't think I could ever have a partner that's complacent. And that's just me personally. That might not somebody else might not care about that. Somebody else might love the day to day the same routine and and that that stability in that consistency. So it's just like, yeah, it's

kind of preference. Well, I think specifically America really focuses on work, you know, like and I think other countries like I. I've just learned this through TikTok, where people like in other countries get like breaks during during the day and they don't have to like always of work

like we do in America, like our mindset. So I, um, I think it's just different, different strokes for different Speaking of TikTok, I found out the other day this is totally off topic, but that like, um, you know when you take your dog for a walk and they like stop to like smell that this and the smell that that, and kind of like good for them. No, that's like their TikTok. Like that's they're like social media. That's they're

kind of like thing. Well I saw I don't know if this is the same thing, but I saw something similar, and I used to get so annoyed because Phoebe sniffs everything. Now I take her out and I'm like sniff away. Yeah, I'm like, oh my gosh, it's like your Instagram time, like you go, girl. So our advice to her is, either it's okay, if it's a deal breaker, get out and it's always gonna get out now, it's not fair

to either of you. And if it's something that you want to kind of unlearn, if it's a society thing, then work on that too. But you deserve to be happy, and so does he all right, you guys, So we're done for the day. I hope you have a great week, and I promise you. I am trying to book Hailey Kiyoko, but she is a busy girl and she really wants to come on the podcast. I think it'd be really fun to do like a game with with Robbie and

Me and Haley and you. Yeah, but we need Haley in studio, like, I don't want her to do like a zoom Okay, I'll be sure when we book her that she needs to know it will be in studio interview. Yeah, because like when she comes, it's gonna be like an Oprah sit down interview, you know what I mean. Like it's not gonna be this quick zoom link bye bye situation. You know what I mean. We really need to get to know her, Like yeah, alright, Well until then, have a great week. We love you, and bye bye, and

that's it. On another Dope show. Did this episode inspire you to take a closer look at your health history, your genetic makeup? Who new DNA could reveal so much about our past while also holding the keys to certain health insights that may impact our future. I continue to be inspired by these stories, and I hope you do

as well. Catch you next time. Listen to Spit, an original podcast from I Heart Radio and twenty three in the on the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast