Vibing with Dr. Vibe

He's done over 3000 online interviews with people from all over the world since April of 2020, as a part of the dad, central Ontario organization, which is a Canadian national fatherhood organization. Dr. Vibe has been the host and producer of the only online conversation in the world for fathers kudos to sir. The Dr. Vibe show has won awards for the best podcast news. In 2018, he has been a certified coach since 2015 and Dr. Vibe.

I'm holding you at ransom right now, because I want you to elaborate on that quote that you gave us. Don't manage your time, manage your energy. Tell us what that means please, to you.

The African America and Family in Transition. I sat down in their wonderful store, read a chapter, bought the book and read the whole book that night. That book has changed my life in not only through the books, the culture, the heritage of the Burke family Burke's family had brought to me and. I'm just truly, truly GA grateful. One other quick correction. I host the only online conversation in the world for dads and fathers. That's sponsored by dove.

MenCare not the only one in the world, but it's sponsored by dove men. Claire. Now getting to the quote, don't manage your time, manage your energy. Our people for thousands of years have been in quite a challenging time and especially over the last two, two and a half years. It's been amplified for many of us. We're more challenged than ever before and I think it's very important. We've heard so many people from our community challenged by mental health.

Before the pandemic, there were Milton health, mental health challenges. It's now even more amplified. So before, and I'm not perfect, but before I go into anything of real importance, And even minor importance. I make sure I'm bringing the right energy, the right positive energy to whatever I'm encountering.

So that's, and I, I began saying it a lot now to everyone who I, my last words to everybody is don't manage your time, manage your energy and people it's like a, a light to people's lives a year. I'm so glad you said. Because a lot of people, as we would say from my heritage, ADA yes. And these days. So I tell them, manage your energy because the better you are for yourself, the better you can be for others in our community and our world. So that's why I use that quote.

Last year, I had the opportunity to host a panel discussion online at the Canis National Fatherhood Conference. And I did not know what to present, cuz I could, I could talk about black fatherhood. But I said, let me do something different. And sometimes you gotta look at your options, right? Sometimes you gotta do the do different. So what I said to the organizer was, you know what, I don't wanna just present stats, statistics. Why don't we get three black men together?

And we just have a round table conversational being a black father. One father was in his late twenties. Uh, separated has, and another father. Married was married now divorced raising three children, another gentleman divorced, but won full custody of his kids within the first five minutes. One thing they had in common came out quickly. All of them had lost their father in the last two years and they were trying to just get over the loss of their father. That's a whole piece in itself.

So just because you see, we don't know what's going on in the inside. So we have to invest in taking care of ourselves. It's an investment, it's not an expense. So, you know, and I have people who mentor me because I realize if you're not careful, life will kill you.

And especially when it comes to black men, people may not realize this in north America, 80% of the suicides committed by people over 40 or by men, same thing with teenagers by men and a large percent of those unfortunate things that happen are by men and boys who look like us. I

And one of the best ways of gaining someone's. Is giving them the opportunity to share their story, their ups, their downs, their hits, their misses. And I also ask a black man, what would you like to, what would you do if you couldn't fail? Because there's a lot of dreams, goals, and desires that many of our black men have given up on. And what's even worse is a lot of them have given up on themselves. So when you have given up on your cells, any sort of behavior can happen.

And a number of times it's not good behavior. So investing in them, let's not be transactional, let's be relational. One of the things I learned from the book that I bought and I have on my desk from the Burke's book store is Hockey Matter Booty. And I actually have interviewed black men who actually have this book cuz you know, how full my heart feels when I hear that? But one of the things he said, and I think is very true today, our heritage is commun.

North American European heritage is individual. We are trying to fit a round peg into a square hole. No wonder we have so many challenges because let's be honest, this society was not made for us. It was not made by us. So we have an uphill battle, right from day one,

And one of his teachers was the late great Tony Morrison.

So I became a good listener and I'm a firm believer of the 80 20. You want the other person to do 80% of the talking, you do 20% of the listening, another and I've learned from many different people. And another thing that's key for me is mirror matching. And what I mean by that is let's take an example. Um, if Tony Morrison was alive today, I wouldn't speak to Tony Morrison about hockey. I talked to Tony Morrison about book writing, cuz that's what she writes and his history.

So, and again, for our people who are listening or watching this. Have a general knowledge of what's going on in the world. You don't have to know everything, but be able to carry on a conversation. And when you're listening to that person, they are the focus and then make sure you re you paraphrase back what they've told you, because it's a form of respect. And when people feel like they're being listened to more often not, they will share more with you. And they will work work with you.

Listen to you. A lot of times, we, especially in today's side, we've lost a lot of the art of listening, many of us. And we have to realize too, in a lot of cases, we have more income than we don't have in common. So leadership had it from many people and from many different ages, like even working as a teacher's assistant in a public school and a kindergarten class, great leadership lessons learned even there.

Uh, I still listen to ah counters I know some people in my, in my journey that say a lot, and I don't feel, I don't feel good enough to hit, to tell, you know, what you say a lot, but I always listened to for the, a counters and it was so good at that time to. Build people and work as a community work as a collective, we were improving each other. It was like a, it was like a family. And just building on those skills, investing, investing in other people, watching people transform for better.

It's one of the things that it just came to my mind, that Toastmasters does it. You see the transformation in individuals and I'm sure Mrs. Burke and Mr. Burke, you've seen like, even before the Toastmasters, you, when you were running your bookstore, you saw people transform, but even now there's nothing. One of the most special feelings I get is when you see a breakthrough in somebody, you know, when you see that break for that person who.

What you had to push up to the front to make a speech to then go up to the front and just take charge. There's something so special in those moments. And even back then so special in those moments. And it even leads now to like I do training of coaches online, still the Toastmaster core things are there, even though it's virtual, still those things are there. So those core values and it's, it's helped me in so many things, you know, with all the conversations that I do and people.

How come you don't say much is it's not me. It's, it's the guest. It's not me. I just ask the questions and I know when to come in, know when to come out and even more. So I think I'm very blessed because I started doing my conversation before we did all this online stuff. So I had to do and not see that person and get those skills of listening to someone, investing them without seeing them. So I feel I was very blessed to get that training.

That experience the postmasters certainly been a key to my journey and I really inspire anyone, not in ask, inspire people to do it. Thank you so much, ed. You know, one of the questions I don't have on my list is. But I'm gonna push it anyway and get you to ask for you, invite you to walk us through that. Sure. You've been a podcaster before the word podcast was ever. Before the word was invented. Okay. Nelson and I talking with you today are babies in the game compared to what you've done.

Sure. What on earth inspired you to do that? How did you know where the movement was going? Because there's no question that you have become for me, you've become the leader of the pack. Talk to us about that, please. Humbled by your kind words. Well, when I went to university. To be honest, I couldn't stand a lot of the stuff I was learning. Cuz it had no application application to me. No, no, no offense. Jean Jacque Rozo and others. But I just said, this is not gonna, I don't, I don't get it.

I don't get it. But one of the things I enjoyed was I DJed at the campus radio station. And this is when I had hair by the way. And if you really get to know me, you'll get to see some of those pictures, but that's another conversation.

And that when I graduated, I said some way someday, somehow, somehow, somewhere I want to provide a safe and brave space for black Canadian men to speak their truth because at that time, and so we see a lot of it now, black men in general, the only time we see the media. Is when they're unfortunately involved with the criminal justice system or they're entertaining and what I mean by entertaining.

And I don't mean just musicians, but sports athletes or entertainers folks they get paid to perform. So that's what I call entertainers. And I said, I just wanted to provide a safe and braved space for at that time, black Canadian men to just. Because I was just because I knew a different lens. There was a different lens that I knew of than the one a lot of people were seeing.

So I, all I had was a laptop and a dream and a microphone actually I'd bring it out, but it's buried right now, but I could bring it out, but I have a, I have a, I had a microphone and. Myself in a COEX time, we sat at my dining room table and we had our first conversation about, so, so great question. So in regards to podcasting, I, again, when I was going to university, when I had hair, I was learning stuff that had no application to me. John jock Russo, all this stuff love.

Hey, Jean, jock love you, but couldn't apply to me. I'm just a young black guy. Couldn't relate to all your theories, political science, but I did enjoy doing a show at the radio station, CJ Sr Macall letters back in those days. And when I graduated, I said, you know what, Sunday, some way somehow, somewhere I like Tory provide a safe and brave space. For black community Canadian men and those who, and those who loved them.

So all I had was a laptop, a dream, and a microphone sat at my kitchen table with a cohost. We did our first podcast about Michael Vick and the dogs. Spent some time we took a break because I felt people are gonna get tired of listening to me. And I'm still sort of, and it's, you know, I've made a transformation because I do share more cuz I've hosted so many conversations.

I don't wanna make it about me, but people now are interviewing me when I'm very humbled, every opportunity like this, I don't take it for granted. So the tables are slowly turning on me, but I'm ready for it. you know, the Toastmaster training came in. Very good for that. So we took a break, came back, started. Interview or have conversations with people who I knew.

And I like to do, you know, I had a system in place and this, like I said, used to go to dinner parties, hang out with my friends, put that microphone down on the table, laptop. And we just talk about things. Then we graduated to, well, How about having people on a show that I don't know. And another, another pivotal point was there's a gentleman named Michael Williams. He was Canada's block first block VJ on Much Music and he lives in Hamilton.

I live in Scarborough, Eastern part of the GTA Toronto. And he said to me, if you wanna interview me, you're gonna come all the way out to Hamilton. I said, hold on a second. I gotta drive an hour to interview you. What happens if you cancel halfway through I've wasted. My. So long story short, I reached out to a gentleman named Ray Ortega who ran a show back then called the podcast, your studio within 24 hours. He changed the whole vibe of the show.

He introduced me to a gentleman named Mike Phillips, who at that time had 25 years experiencing audio engineering and spent six hours on the phone with me, cumulative getting me saying, he said, Dr. Bob. If you wanna talk to people around the world, you gonna need a mixer. I said, Mike, the only mixers I know are mixers in a club, but but again, he knew more than I did. He had the experience. So I shut up and listened and followed.

And from that point on, then I was able to have online conversations with people all around the world.

I'm at the point now where I'm delegating stuff off. So one of the things I do every few months is what are the top three things that are taking up my time? How can I farm them out to someone to do so right now, as an example, audio and video editing is a time consuming property. Project. And so right now, I'm, I've already achieved. So for eight months of this calendar year, I have interns doing all of that. I'm getting my time back.

Cause a lot of people I ask what's more important, more money or more time and more and more people are saying that time is more important than their money. Well, Dr. VI provide, I will not argue with the fact that you continue to be inspiring. As I said earlier way back when you were a visionary, I kind of trivialized what you said so I've liked my lesson and now I know that I need to, I know that I've gotta take you much more seriously.

And without a doubt, you have grown, you have strengthened you've actualized and you continue to be a wealth of knowledge and experience. And I certainly appreciate your taking the time today to come share your story. A part of your story part. Yes. A minuscule part of your with Elton and I on our podcast. I really, really appreciate that. Thank you so very much. Well, the pleasure and honor is mine.

And, um, Mr. And Mrs. Burke, as I've said to everyone, is listening or watching this have been instrumental. Like I said, I keep that book right on my desk and if it wasn't for them, That book wouldn't have got in my hand and probably I wouldn't be doing maybe, maybe not, but my passion, especially for black men started with that moment for me, a lot of life is made up of decisions and moments. So I made a decision to go down to the Burke's bookstore.

Every day, I made a decision to listen to them. I made a decision to want to be better. I made a decision. To wanna have it go through me, not in me. These are decisions that every decision we make will impact at least one other person. You may not think so you're listening, but it will have an impact on one, at least one other person. So we really need to take a look at ourselves and say, you know, what, who am I? And also. Look at who are you doing?

Whatever you're doing for, what are you fighting for? If you're just fighting for yourself? My opinion, wrong fight. You've gotta be fighting for someone and something that's bigger than you greater than you and hopefully it's gonna have legacy and sustainable and not just financially sustainable, but emotionally, mentally, and spiritually sustainable. I will close on that. And also one other thing, remember to give yourselves grace, I'm done sticking with the fork I'm done.

I just wanna say thank you again for what you've given to us. You've given. Food for thought. And I appreciate, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. My pleasure of the speak up team. Yes. And, and remember folks, remember to shoot your shot. Shoot your shot. And if you wanna find out more good on my website, the Dr. V I B E S H O w.com. As I say, it's the home of epic conversations. I'm the host of epic conversations and we want to see you win God, bless P C L keep the faith.

And I will end off with this. Every do episode. I finish off with this, live your life as a dream. If you can dream it, you can make it. Sometimes you have to get smaller to get strong. Block assumptions that aim bigger, aim, better aim, higher aim, whiter love, faith, and respect. Remember to give yourselves gaze, and again, as always don't manage your time. Manage your energy. God bless. Thank you very much. You're welcome.