Today I'm re-publishing an episode from about 6 months ago that has been extremely popular (and apparently very helpful). As parents of a teen or tween we're often frustrated, concerned, or even downright anxious about their behavior. We just want them to listen to us and do what they're supposed to do. Is that really too much to ask? Well, it turns out, it just might be. A lot our teens' unpleasant behaviors are unfortunately a side effect of the way we respond to their behavior to begin with. ...
Jan 21, 2025•25 min
Teasing is a big part of many parents' communication toolbox. But when it comes to teasing teens and tweens, it's easy to accidentally overstep. Teenagers are notorious for misinterpreting parents. Their brains often don't hear what we think we say. You may mean to tease them in a playful manner but they may hear it as criticism. Listen today as I explain the difference between playful teasing and bullying and which topics you should delete from your teasing roster (because they can cause long-t...
Jan 14, 2025•18 min
Are you stressed out about your teen’s or tween’s online life? Have recent discussions of banning social media until age 16 making you feel like a horrible parent? Are you constantly fighting over screentime with them? Parenting is 1,000 times more stressful today than it was for our parents thanks to smart phones and social media. And it certainly doesn’t help when there seems to be a new study or new book published weekly talking about how phones and social media are responsible for the declin...
Jan 07, 2025•30 min
You could be misinterpreting your tween or teen's unpleasant attitude, their emotional meltdowns, their angry tirades, or their rude, entitled, and disrespectful behavior (or you may be at least interpreting it from an uninformed point of view). And the way you think about and interpret your teen or tween's behavior impacts how you feel about it and how you parent them. So, if you don't truly understand why they act the way they do, you're probably not handling the situation for the best possibl...
Dec 31, 2024•20 min
Find our FREE Parenting Guides Here "I just wanted to let you know that I'm so thankful for your podcast! ...I'm so happy I discovered it!" Speaking of Teens Listener ^If you feel the same way, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps people know the show is worth their time to listen. Tap here , to go to Apple podcasts, and scroll down until you see the STARS to tap on the last star, then tap on “Write a Review” and let me know what you love about the show. If you’re listening i...
Dec 24, 2024•5 min
Our mindsets--the way we think about things--impact the way we feel and behave. And there are some particular ways of thinking that make it especially hard to parent teens and tweens. Becoming more aware of a handful of these mindsets can help you change them (and therefore, change your feelings and your parenting behavior). Simple changes can make all the difference in your family dynamic. Join me today as I discuss how to change your mindsets and the way forward with your teenager. Show Notes ...
Dec 17, 2024•22 min
I'll bet you're like most other parents of tweens and teens and keep a keen eye on their school's parent portal. You're looking for missed assignments, late projects, etc. so you can help them stay on top of things, right? Well, today I'm going to challenge your thinking and your methodology. Is this strategy really helpful? Does it teach your teen or tween to do their work...or does it build animosity and actually keep them from learning the lessons they should be learning? Let me help you find...
Dec 10, 2024•28 min
The holidays are incredibly stressful for most of us. And much of this stress is self-imposed. We expect too much of ourselves and we often expect too much of our teens (and we don't even realize it until the disappointment sets in). Join me today as I discuss how to manage your expectations and modify your mindset about your teens so things can be much more relaxed and enjoyable for you and your family this holiday season. Show Notes for other resources and sources Transcript Find our FREE Pare...
Dec 03, 2024•19 min
In today's episode I talk to co-founder of Not Therapy Coachin g, Hayley Caddes (you may recall episodes 168 and 169 that I spoke to her co-founder, Colin MacDonald) Hayley, like Colin, is a former "troubled teen" and together they coach teens and young adults through the same trials and struggles they had as teens. Hear Hayley talk about what it's like as a teenager coming out of treatment, the mindset shift you need to make, and the actions you need to take to help them be successful. Show Not...
Nov 26, 2024•51 min
Some of us are just less aware of our emotions and less able to manage them well. I'm raising my own hand here! In this episode I "coach" a mom through her emotional dysregulation and try to bring more awareness to where it's coming from so she can manage it better. Show Notes for other resources and sources Transcript Find our FREE Parenting Guides Here "I just wanted to let you know that I'm so thankful for your podcast! ...I'm so happy I discovered it!" Speaking of Teens Listener ^If you feel...
Nov 19, 2024•56 min
Today's episode wraps up the series on teen substance use and is a continuation from last week's episode on the methods discussed in the book, Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change . If your teen or tween is using substances and you want to know how to best motivate them to change their behavior, this episode and last week's episode 183 is for you. Today I'll discuss the importance of collaborating with your co-parent, using positive reinforcement to see the behavior you ...
Nov 12, 2024•17 min
Today's episode is all about the methods discussed in the book, Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change . If you're teen is using substances and you want to know how to best motivate them to change their behavior, this is the episode for you. I talk about motivational interviewing and the Community Reinforcement and Family Training (CRAFT) method of communicating with a loved one who's using. You'll probably be surprised by what you learn. Show Notes for other resources and...
Nov 05, 2024•31 min
What the heck is going on down at the convenience store or corner vape shop? They're selling something that looks a whole lot like marijuana, cannabis, or weed. And this stuff (otherwise known as "gas station weed") can get people even higher than the marijuana sold at the legal dispensaries that contain the high-producing, delta-9 THC. Even worse, this stuff is being sold legally to teens in many states! What is it? It's delta-8 THC, delta-10 THC, HHC, THCA, THCO and other chemically extracted ...
Oct 29, 2024•25 min
It's such a frightening thought; "Does my teen or tween have a substance use disorder? Is this more than occasional use or experimentation?" How are you supposed to know when your teenager has crossed that line? Who can help you determine if their substance use rises to the level of an "addiction"? Today I'll clarify some terminology, tell you how to figure these things out and help you understand what level of care your teen might potentially need, if they do indeed have a substance use disorde...
Oct 22, 2024•25 min
Fentanyl is still a danger to teens and tweens and now there are even other chemicals being thrown in the mix of counterfeit pills that could be even deadlier. However, some expert are saying that it appears there may be less fentanyl in the supply chain in recent months. Additionally, although overall illicit drug use among teens has been decreasing for years, opioid use disorder among adolescents has greatly increased (according to the American Academy of Pediatrics). I'll walk you through the...
Oct 15, 2024•21 min
There's no doubt that teens do risky things around their peers. But just how much influence do those peers have over your teen's use of substances? Can you do anything about the bad influences your teen is hanging out with? What factors do you need to consider? What about your influence? Can you counteract the influence your teen's peers have on them?💯 See the list of other episodes and resources in the Show Notes Transcript Find our FREE Parenting Guides Here "I just wanted to let you know tha...
Oct 08, 2024•25 min
As a parent, perhaps you've been confronted with this issue: you've found evidence that your teen or tween is vaping, drinking alcohol, smoking marijuana, or using other substances and you have no idea what to do next. You can't think. You're upset, angry, anxious, confused, disappointed, etc. Do you give consequences? Do you call a therapist? What do you even say? I'll tell you the best way to approach this issue including guidelines for the conversation and the actual mechanics of the conversa...
Oct 04, 2024•18 min
Research tells us that teens whose parents employ effective monitoring are less likely to engage in risky behaviors like having sex at an early age, smoking, drinking, using drugs, skipping school or being physically injured – they’re also more likely to have better mental health. So "monitoring" works but what does it even mean and how do you do it "effectively"? I'll break it down for you in this episode. I'll also go over some very specific signs of substance use that you can keep in mind. Pl...
Oct 01, 2024•28 min
This is the second episode in our series on teens, tweens and substance use. Today I want to make sure you understand the risk factors for teen and tween substance use and substance disorders. Familiarizing yourself with the risk factors gives you the opportunity to empower your teen or tween to be proactive in avoiding substances, provide supports systems for them if they need it, and to stay vigilant as possible. Show Notes and Transcript Find our FREE Parenting Guides Here "I just wanted to l...
Sep 27, 2024•24 min
This episode kicks off a series on teens, tweens and substance use that will continue each Tuesday and Friday until I've exhausted issues to talk about! Today, I'll talk to you about the adolescent brain, why it's so prone to risky behaviors like using substances, why it's so much easier to become dependent on those substances, and many of the reasons teens use substances like marijuana, alcohol and nicotine. I also discuss some of the things you can do to try to prevent your teen or tween from ...
Sep 24, 2024•17 min
What do you think about allowing your teen or tween a mental health day off from school when they ask for it? How do you decide? What should they do with that day off? I'll answer these questions and more in today's episode. Show Notes and Transcript Find our FREE Parenting Guides Here "I just wanted to let you know that I'm so thankful for your podcast! ...I'm so happy I discovered it!" Speaking of Teens Listener ^If you feel the same way, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This help...
Sep 20, 2024•13 min
This episode was prompted by a recent conversation with a parent. This parent needed help validating her teen's feelings about friendship issues, without inserting herself and causing problems in the connection with her teen. What do you do or say when your teen shares with you that a friend has done something horrible to them? How do you acknowledge their feelings about the situation without giving an opinion or looking like you'll hold a grudge against the friend if the teens mend fences in th...
Sep 17, 2024•21 min
None of us come to parenting without our own mindsets, core beliefs, and past emotional experiences. All of this informs us as parents and shapes our thoughts, emotions and behavior related to our kids and teenagers. But too many of us fail to recognize this side of parenting, even when we're desperate to change the dynamic in our home. Very often, parents must address their own emotional wounds - unresolved trauma from their own formative years - in order to become the parents they want to be. ...
Sep 13, 2024•52 min
Today I'm sharing the findings from a recent study out of New Zealand, and a report on a new survey out of the U.S. The study sheds light on teens' use of devices before bed and in the bed. And the survey finally gives us some good news about vaping and teenagers. Show Notes and Transcript Find our FREE Parenting Guides Here "I just wanted to let you know that I'm so thankful for your podcast! ...I'm so happy I discovered it!" Speaking of Teens Listener ^If you feel the same way, please consider...
Sep 10, 2024•8 min
Teenagers want their parents to understand them. They need to feel heard and seen in the worst sort of way. But as parents, we often do a really crap job of actually listening - much less truly understanding them. Today's episode (pulled from the 2022 "best-of vault") gives you the inside scoop on what your teen's thinking and what they really want you to understand. Listen up! Show Notes and Transcript Find our FREE Parenting Guides Here "I just wanted to let you know that I'm so thankful for y...
Sep 06, 2024•32 min
In today's episode I continue my conversation with Colin MacDonald, co-founder of Not Therapy - a high-touch coaching program for young people. Colin told his story as a former "troubled teen" in episode 168 . And today he outlines the "4 Pillars of Transition" for teens and young adults moving from residential treatment, wilderness programs and other therapeutic facilities back to "the real world". This is a must-listen episode if you have a teenager or young adult currently in treatment or rec...
Sep 03, 2024•37 min
If you struggle to believe there's hope for your teenager because of their behavior, mental health issues, substance use, etc. then you want to hear what this young man has to say. Colin MacDonald was a "troubled teen" himself. He has a story to tell and advice for you as the parent of a struggling teenager. Colin is a certified young adult coach and the co-founder of Not Therapy along with his partner, Hayley Caddes. They coach teens and young adults to help them transform their lives after tre...
Aug 30, 2024•22 min
In today's episode I talk to a mom about the transformation her family experienced from Parent Camp. Listen to her describe where they were, the changes they've made, and where they are now. Plus, she has some advice for you! Show Notes and Transcript Find our FREE Parenting Guides Here "I just wanted to let you know that I'm so thankful for your podcast! ...I'm so happy I discovered it!" Speaking of Teens Listener ^If you feel the same way, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This hel...
Aug 26, 2024•33 min
If you have a teen or tween who has ADHD, anxiety, depression, uses substances, doesn't talk to you, refuses to go to school, doesn't seem to be phased by logical or natural consequences, etc...this episode is for you. Join me today and let me explain why you can't skip over the basic parenting strategies even if you feel your teen isn't "basic". Show Notes and Transcript Find our FREE Parenting Guides Here "I just wanted to let you know that I'm so thankful for your podcast! ...I'm so happy I d...
Aug 23, 2024•12 min
So many of us have been there. Your teen isn't listening to a word you say. As a matter of fact they're doing just the opposite. You've issues consequence after consequence. You've lectured, warned, threatened, pleaded, begged, and cried on the bathroom floor. Counseling hasn't helped (or you can't get them to go). What's the problem and where do you go from here? Is it residential treatment? A wilderness program? Or is there something you can do right now to get things headed in the right direc...
Aug 20, 2024•14 min
