Understanding your own thoughts and emotions and how they impact your behavior, will help you manage your emotions so you can be the parent you want to be. If you don’t know why you get so upset about certain things, and don’t know how to articulate your feelings, your emotions will consume you. And I’m guessing you’ve realized what happens when you allow your emotions to consume you. In this episode I’ll talk about how to get a grip on your emotions instead of allowing them to keep you in a cho...
May 03, 2024•21 min
Have you realized yet that you can't parent a teenager the way you parented them as a child? It's a hard truth. After your kid hits puberty, if you keep trying to manage them and parent them the way you did when they were a child, things will not go well. Parenting a teen or tween the way you parented them as a child, will guarantee years of power struggles and behavior problems. Instead, you must learn to pivot and give your teen or tween more control, more respect and more power to make decisi...
Apr 30, 2024•22 min
Why? Why? Why? Why do teens do the things they do? As the Parent of a teenager, you're probably used to asking yourself this question. If your teen or tween has ever done anything they've always promised they'd never do, you're in good company. The way the adolescent brain works...well, let's just say, it can be baffling for parents. So, learning the "Why" behind your teen's thoughts, emotions and behavior is extremely import. It allows you to have more empathy, regulate your own emotions about ...
Apr 26, 2024•19 min
This is Day 2 of an 8-part series to explain the foundational principles of parenting teens. These are the "basics" that you need to understand to parent your teenagers with less conflict and more connection (plus have more influence in their lives and even change their behavior). Today, I continue talking about the changes occurring in your teenager's brain. Today, I continue talking about the changes occurring in your teenager's brain. Specifically, I'll explain how their amygdala (the emotion...
Apr 23, 2024•15 min
Do you ever think, "Why would they do that?" "Why are they so irrational?" "Why can't they just do what they're supposed to do when they're supposed to do it?" You and every other parent with a kid between the ages of 10 and 25 have, no doubt, had these thoughts several times a day, most days of the week! It's baffling and frustrating to think your teen or tween could do better and chooses not to. But is that actually what's going on? Join me in this first episode of an 8-part series to explain ...
Apr 19, 2024•14 min
The number of things we have to warn our teenagers and children about these days can be overwhelming. And when it comes to the wild, wild, west of the internet, it seems there's something new every few months. As much as we'd like to think these things can't happen to our teens, they can and do - everyday. There are many extremely depraved individuals online who make it their job to target, groom, and extort kids and teens. They pose as someone your child's age, gain their trust, trick them and ...
Apr 16, 2024•30 min
It seems that there's just no end to the things that parents of teens and tweens have to worry about these days. And technology seems to always be up there at the top of the list, somehow. Well, today I'm going to talk to you about something that's probably not even on your radar (but really should be); AI generated child pornography. Your teenager could literally be walking down the hall at school, minding their own business while a classmate generates a pornographic image of them, using their ...
Apr 12, 2024•14 min
Thoughts lead to emotions, which lead to actions. If we don't take time to examine our thinking, we can become stuck in some very unproductive cycles in parenting our teenagers (and in other relationships). Just because we think something doesn't make it true or correct. And if our thoughts are untrue, what does that mean for our emotions and behavior? Today I talk about how cognitive biases, distortions, assumptions and shortcuts in our thinking can keep us can keep us from parenting with inten...
Apr 09, 2024•27 min
What the heck is going on down at the convenience store or corner vape shop? They're selling something that looks a whole lot like marijuana, cannabis, or weed. And this stuff (otherwise known as "gas station weed") can get people even higher than the marijuana sold at the legal dispensaries that contain the high-producing, delta-9 THC. Even worse, this stuff is being sold legally to teens in many states! What is it? It's delta-8 THC, delta-10 THC, HHC, THCA, THCO and other chemically extracted ...
Apr 05, 2024•25 min
Today's episode has been a long time coming. Getting your teen to do what they're supposed to do (or not do what they're not supposed to do) is a sticking point for so many parents. You probably feel like a broken record most days and then still can't get the cooperation you want (and many times end up in arguments and power struggles). Well, in this episode I review a) the basics that you need to understand even before you try to get cooperation, b) what you shouldn't do and, c) different metho...
Apr 02, 2024•23 min
Today's episode is a "feed drop"! Lauren Wolfe , host of Your Zen Friend , is dropping into our podcast feed to bring you a special episode of her podcast, addressing an issue you likely know all too well; attitude, disrespect, eye rolls, etc. Lauren has graciously agreed to let me air this fabulous episode as I am still dealing with my ailing mother this week. So, listen up because Lauren is going to talk about the best ways to respond to your teenager's "back talk" and explain why the way you ...
Mar 29, 2024•26 min
Today’s episode is an interview with Dr. Mercedes Oromendia , the clinical director of Manatee , an online therapy and parent coaching platform. Dr. Oromendia does a great job of explaining typical adolescent behavior and how, as parents, we need to respond to them for the best possible outcomes. See Show Notes for other resources and sources Transcript Find our FREE Parenting Guides Here "I just wanted to let you know that I'm so thankful for your podcast! ...I'm so happy I discovered it!" Spea...
Mar 26, 2024•49 min
Email Ann at acoleman@speakingofteens.com Check out PARENT CAMP - a cohort-based, 10-week experience that includes a virtual course, in-depth exercises and tools, and weekly live meetings with Ann, where you will learn how to strengthen your relationship and decrease the conflict with your teens and tweens (while improving their behavior.) Connect with us on Facebook or Instagram Read Speaking of Teens weekly articles on Substack Join our Facebook Group for Free Support for Parents and others wh...
Mar 22, 2024•6 min
If your teen is experimenting with weed, alcohol, or other substances, it’s a very scary feeling. For some of us it’s downright terrifying and triggering. Well today’s guest went through it all with her son and it was as bad as it gets. Brenda Zane almost saw her son die from his drug abuse. Thankfully, he is now drug free, in college and helping others with their struggles. Brenda shares so much helpful information today; what to do and how to think about it, if you find that vape pen or bottle...
Mar 19, 2024•52 min
Neurotypical teens, teens without any mental health disorders at all, experience emotional dysregulation from time to time (some more than others). This is simply a product of their changing brain and an oversensitive threat detector (the brain's amygdala). But teens with ADHD, certain mood disorders and personality disorders are much more likely to experience intense mood swings and even more pronounced emotional dysregulation. And that's not the only symptom overlap. As you can imagine, this c...
Mar 15, 2024•17 min
I talked about parenting out of fear in the very first episode of this podcast. Because my own fear is what led me down such a long hard path with my son, I wanted to make sure you were aware of the issues it causes. Now that I've been able to work for a couple of years on refining this message, I'm back to share again why we must not let our anxious thoughts derail our parenting. This issue comes up over and over in the Speaking of Teens Facebook group and in Parent Camp. Fear for our Teenager'...
Mar 12, 2024•21 min
When someone hurts your child, physically or emotionally, no matter if they're 10 or 25, you want it to stop immediately. And bullying is one of those things you may not even be aware of. You won't see it and you won't likely even know about it unless your teen or tween tells you. In this episode, I'll tell you what to watch out for, how to talk to your teen about their bullying problem and give you step by step instructions for dealing with the issue. Show Notes and Transcript Find our FREE Par...
Mar 08, 2024•21 min
Whether you’re married, divorced, or happily cohabitating with your partner, if you have teenagers, you’re not only dealing with them but with your coparent’s (and possibly your partner’s) opinion on how to parent them. Why do we all bring such differing views into our parenting and what can we do when we don’t agree? And, by the way, what role does your new partner play in it all? Join me for a conversation with Aurisha Smolarski , a Los Angeles based licensed marriage and family therapist with...
Mar 05, 2024•39 min
If you're like every other parent of a teen or tween, you've dealt with your share of attitude, disrespect, snarky comments, and maybe even a hefty does of mean digs. Why do teens and tweens act this way and what should you do in response? Well, that's what I'm talking about today. And the answers may actually surprise you. Show Notes and Transcript Find our FREE Parenting Guides Here "I just wanted to let you know that I'm so thankful for your podcast! ...I'm so happy I discovered it!" Speaking...
Mar 01, 2024•18 min
I don't believe there are many parents of a teen or tween who hasn't dealt with some struggle over getting their kid to go to school. School refusal happens for all sorts of reasons, from mental health disorders like anxiety or depression to dealing with a bully or learning issues. But whatever the reason your teenager refuses or avoids going to school, you must come up with a solution. And often that solution isn't as easy as the school and other parents think. In today's episode I talk with Cy...
Feb 27, 2024•36 min
Your teen's autonomy, the level to which they are allowed to make their own decisions, their ability to handle mistakes and the natural consequences from those mistakes - all of this has a huge impact on their later independence, and ability to cope as an emerging adult. Today I’m going to talk to you about how, despite your best intentions to protect your child from all the bad stuff, keep them out of trouble, make sure they’re successful, that they make good choices, that they don’t fall flat ...
Feb 23, 2024•14 min
Today, in the final instalment in this series on vaping, I discuss how to talk to your teen or tween about vaping, how to help them avoid it if they haven't started, and how to help them quit if they already have. I highlight refusal skills that can work for almost any situation where they need to avoid a negative or risky activity. I also explain the reward system, the adolescent decision making process and how you can use the findings from a scientific study to hopefully influence them to avoi...
Feb 20, 2024•33 min
Today's episode is a bit of a bonus. I've been really confused as to why there are still all these fruity, desert-flavored vaping products, vape pens and e-cigarettes on the shelves in the US, when I thought Juul was told to remove theirs the market. So I did some major digging into the backstory of vaping regulations and where things stand today. I actually think this is an important episode for you to hear so you can explain to your teenager how vaping goes the disposable, desert or fruity fla...
Feb 19, 2024•34 min
How "up in your teen's business" do you get? How much is too much monitoring, snooping, digging and tracking? Do you let them know you're going to be doing checking on them up front? Or, are you more of a covert operator? Do you know what difference it all makes? A lot. One of the most important things to a teenager (or a tween) is their autonomy. And if you threaten that, you'll be locked in never-ending power struggles. Find out how to navigate balancing your parental control with their need f...
Feb 16, 2024•16 min
Today, I continue the series on vaping that we started last week with my interview with Daniel Ament in episode #109 . I hope you shared Daniel's episode with your teen (and maybe even gave his information to someone at your school so he could speak to all the students.) Vaping is ubiquitous in high school and more and more middle schoolers are taking up the habit every single day. Just because you've not seen evidence that your teen vapes or your teen has not admitted it to you, or they've prom...
Feb 13, 2024•32 min
You have to admit that you never knew another human being could evoke such a broad range of emotions from you. You love your teenager more than anything on the planet, you'd go to the ends of the earth for them (you pretty much already have) but...good God can they ever make you mad! It's like they know just the right amount of tone and attitude to throw in with their emotional meltdown, to bring out the very worst in you. You can do better. And you can help them do better. Today we're going to ...
Feb 09, 2024•36 min
Today’s episode will be as significant for your teen’s to hear as it will be for you so please share. It may even be more important to share it with your younger kids who’ve not considered vaping yet. 21-year-old Daniel Ament shares some much-needed insight into the world of teens and vaping (whether it’s nicotine or THC.) You’ll learn how easy it is for them to vape without you ever knowing, why it’s so difficult to avoid vaping to begin with and why punishing them or taking their vape away doe...
Feb 06, 2024•33 min
This is the 3rd episode in a series on connecting with your teen. First episode in the series #104 Second episode in the series #106 This question comes up all the time, "I know I'm supposed to connect with my teenager, but how do I do it when they don't talk to me and ignore everything I say?" Teenagers aren't usually that keen on talking to their parents on a regular basis, no matter what. But if your tween or teen feels like you treat them like a child, have no respect for their opinions, dec...
Feb 02, 2024•22 min
Of course, the way we were raised influences the way we parent our own kids. Did you know it also has a major impact on our romantic relationships? Even friendships and work relationships? The way our parents interacted with us, beginning in infancy, (specifically, the way in which they did or did not meet our physical and emotional needs) forms the template for all of our relationships. It's something researchers call attachment style and it's not only fascinating but crucial to understand abou...
Jan 30, 2024•27 min
This is the 2nd episode in a series on connecting with your teen. First episode in the series #104 If the relationship with your teen or tween is suffering, I want you to consider something. How close would you feel to someone who you believe treats you like a child, constantly reminds you to do things you already know to do, complains about every tiny infraction, and makes no attempt to understand the stress you're under? Well, that's likely how your teenager feels pretty regularly. Their brain...
Jan 26, 2024•30 min
