Hello, hello everyone. Welcome to Speak Your Chaos, your new favorite podcast where absolutely anyone can submit their chaos to our Instagram or to our email found in the description below. Speak Your Chaos is all about speaking your truth, your chaos, regardless of what it is. Or maybe it's not yours. Maybe it's someone's chaos whom you know. But once again, welcome to Speak Your Chaos and thank you for tuning in. Alrighty, let's go ahead and get started. Our first submission
of the day. I live with my girlfriend, and I've always been more of a morning person. We usually get up between 8 .30 and 9 .30 in the morning on the weekends, but I've started realizing I don't have a lot of time to myself or time to do individual hobbies, and I've noticed that it takes longer for me to get out of bed the later I wake up. I thought it would be a good
idea to get a separate alarm. So I could go off between 7 to 7 .30 just to give myself more time in the morning to read, play video games, watch an episode of TV, go for a run, do whatever it is that I need to do. My girlfriend said it's not fair because she might not be able to go back to sleep. I mentioned that I set an earlier alarm for work when I'm in the office and she manages to always get herself back to sleep. But she said that it's completely different.
I pointed out it's exactly the same. She said we should be getting up at the exact same time, but I asked why and she would not answer me. She continued saying it's not fair for her to have to wake up earlier, but I mentioned again she's fine when I have to do it for work, so it won't be any different here. She said again I should just get up at the same time as her and that I shouldn't be setting an early alarm. Am I overreacting for setting an earlier alarm?
Alright, so here's my two cents on this. There is a slight difference between the work mode and going out mode or playing video games or being up or whatever the case, right? When she knows that you're at work and she knows that you're not there, that your presence isn't there, it's probably a lot easier for her to go back to sleep. But when you're there, she knows you're there. She knows that physically you are there. She just wants to be with you. She wants to hang
out with you. She just wants to be around you.
i'm assuming is the reason why she struggles to go back to sleep not only that but it sounds like maybe she wants to partake in some of these um things with you maybe she wants to play video games with you or go on that run or do something together in the morning but i understand where she's coming from you know it can absolutely be hard to go back to sleep knowing that your person is there because you're there right so all they want to do is spend that time with you
i don't think you're overreacting i don't think she's overreacting but i do think it is a little unfair for her to not you know allow you to set an earlier alarm if you want to get up earlier and you want to do what you want to do and get your morning started i feel like you absolutely have every single right to be able to do that moving on My boyfriend and I have been together
for three and a half years. I feel like we are at the age and the point in our relationship where there is no reason we should not be living together. We've been together for a long time, and I feel like we're too grown for games. I'm 26, he's 30. We have discussed multiple times of us getting a place together once both of our leases end. I apologize, I cannot read today. but I can't get him to fully commit and he's constantly going back and forth on the topic.
Is it wrong of me to want to break up over that? I have never lived with one of my significant others before and I understand people move at different paces, but I feel like him not wanting to live together means he doesn't want to commit to me or see our relationship progress to the next level. At this point, I just feel like I'm wasting my time. Am I supposed to wait around
for him? Is it selfish? of me to feel this way i really am stuck i really want to be considerate of his feelings but at the same time i also need to do what's best for me all right here's my opinion three and a half years right three and a half years you've been together but he will not commit to living together there has to be there's a reason why right there's an underlying reason why and you need to discover what that is what is the reason what is happening What
is going on that he's not wanting to live together? Is it an insecurity? Is it maybe something that he does that he doesn't know if you're prepared for might turn you off? Is it something that maybe you do that he doesn't like? Have you slept over at each other's houses for a few nights and maybe he picked up on something or you picked up on something or maybe a comment was mentioned about something? So there has to be an underlying reason. I would get to that reason. Try to figure
out exactly what's going on. Try to figure out exactly what it is that's turning him off from the idea of you two moving in together, right? It could be nothing. It could be absolutely nothing. Maybe he's just not ready. Maybe he's just an extremely slow burner. But I will say, you are 26. You've been together three and a half years, right? So roughly, since you were 22, 23 -ish,
you've been together. you know pretty much your your young adulthood you've been together um i will say that i would give it another few months in my opinion because it has been so long you don't just want to throw it away i would give it another few months try to figure out what's going on try to figure out the real reason maybe he's lived with someone in the past and he doesn't want to commit to that again because of what happened last time right try to figure out what's
going on if you really can't figure it out or if you he really won't commit to moving in together i do agree that you should probably end it just because if he won't commit to something like moving in together then there's a lot of things in the future that he's not going to want to commit to so in my opinion give it another few months and then if anything just call it off all right now i have a fairly long one here so uh bear with me my boyfriend 36 and i 28 we only
see each other on the weekends on saturday i packed myself and left using the last train of the night to get to him We went for dinner and as soon as we got home, he noticed that he left an expensive new smartwatch he bought before at the restaurant. He immediately began to lose his absolute mind. I'm used to him being angry over small things, but I've never seen anything
at this scale. He started blaming me, pointing the finger at me, saying that it's my fault that he left his watch there and I'm used to that. He always blames me for everything. He said I distracted him with my blabbering and I wasn't attentive enough and whatever. And that's why he forgot the watch. Okay, first of all, why the fuck did he take off the watch to begin with? He began screaming and throwing stuff and slamming
doors. And finally, he punched a brick wall a few times to the point where his hand and knuckles started severely bleeding. After that, he decided to go back to the restaurant. And he expected me to come with him. I declined. I told him I'm going home. And that's what I did. I went to the train station and I went back home. On my way there, he texted me that he thought he broke his hand, which made me feel bad, and so I called him. I told him if he sees the issue with his
behavior, I will come back. He didn't. He thought his tantrum was completely justified. So I took the last train. I told him if he sees what's wrong with his behavior, losing it over a fucking watch, I will be there for him and support him. I haven't heard from him in two days. What's killing me... Is that he told me on the phone that he feels like I left him completely alone. He feels alone now because of me. And yes, I
did leave him alone. But I wanted to show him that this kind of behavior makes you lonely. I grew up in an abusive household. I swore to myself to never end up with a partner of anger issues. My boyfriend told me he would never hurt me. But that level of aggression he showed me
over something small like that. i miss him and i want to be there for him and i want to help him first i thought i was definitely in the right because i'm not saying of someone who's throwing things but then i read that apparently a lot of people are doing that and punching walls and whatnot maybe i'm too sensitive i don't know if i'm overreacting because of trauma i also read that these people normally stop after they hurt themselves the first time which he apparently
did i don't know what to do should i reach out to him or what should i do girl run fucking run listen you are 28 he is 36 he is old enough to know right from wrong you need to get the fuck out right now i understand trauma i've been through trauma i understand fully understand trauma here's the thing though right because of the fact that you grew up with it because of the fact that you're so used to it because of the fact that you grew up at some point thinking that that
was okay behavior That's what you're unfortunately attracted to now. That's what you gravitate towards. You need to get the fuck out of that relationship. What he's doing is not okay. The way he's reacting over a watch, not okay. Because tomorrow it's going to be something bigger. The next day it's going to be something bigger. That brick wall is going to end up being your face. You need
to get the fuck out. You need to stay away. If you're using a train to get to each other, there's enough of a distance where you're okay to start over. I do not think you're being too sensitive. I think you need to get the fuck out. I think you need to protect yourself, save yourself. I think that right now, you know, he's not hurting you physically, but emotionally, mentally, he
is hurting you. And what are you going to do in the future if you two have kids and they fuck with his watch or they fuck with his console or his computer or his car or something? What is he going to do? So what are you going to do, right? What are you going to do when next time it's your children that you have together? What are you going to do when next time it's something else, it's something worse, it's something that matters to him a little bit more? I would cut
your losses, to be completely honest. All right, moving on to the next one. I was a junior bridesmaid at my cousin's wedding last month. Most of the side of the family is white, and while we keep things polite, I've never felt truly part of the group. On the big day, there's this tradition where the bridesmaid helped the brides put on the family necklace. A pretty important moment. When it was my turn the bride's mom suddenly stepped in saying actually we want to keep this
as family only moment. Keep in mind we're cousins. No further explanation and I noticed a couple of people glanced at me almost like waiting to see if I would get upset but I didn't. Now there were a few things that were off. My dress was a cheaper fabric. The color was slightly different
almost like I was an afterthought. One of the bridesmaid bridesmaids told me they probably just saved the best for the real bridesmaids and then she started laughing later i overheard a comment from one of the friends can't blame them for wanting to keep things pure followed by a chuckle another bridesmaid whispered guess some traditions aren't meant for everyone i tried to shrug it off but it felt like being reminded i wasn't really welcome like i was a guest in
someone else's world when i told my mom she said sometimes people don't realize how much their words or actions can hurt even if they think they're just joking i get that but it's those things i don't want to call my family racist and if it was just a thoughtless or ignorant thought but i can't stop feeling excluded and small am i overreacting for getting upset absolutely not your family's fucking racist call it what it fucking is their family's racist their fucking
friends are racist here's my thing right it's finally your turn you are the only african -american there from what you've said right or at least at least in the the bridesmaids right your turn for the necklace all of a sudden it's not okay no absolutely not fuck your family fuck their friends can't blame them for wanting to keep things pure no fuck that lady too whoever the fuck said that fuck her too All right. My friend has oral herpes but never told me and has asked
me to share, try my drinks in the past. I let her not knowing. Now I'm annoyed and a little paranoid. I know it's pretty unlikely I'll contract it this way, but it's not impossible. I don't think she had active herpes when she asked to share things, but I don't remember. It's possible she did, and I just didn't notice it before. I'm irritated that someone who knows she has oral herpes her entire life, she's had it since
childhood, would ask to share drinks. with people knowing this if i had known she had it i wouldn't let her take steps for my drink or share them i'm irritated because i thought people had enough common sense to not to not ask to share drinks if they know they have herpes or at least tell you so you can make an informed choice about whether you want to take that risk lesson learned i would never allow anyone to take a sip from my drink or share a drink again but i'm feeling
very annoyed and slightly paranoid about this so i think you are justified right i mean i get it if someone that i know has herpes and they wanted to share my drink and they never informed me that they had herpes and then i found out later i would be like yo wait a fucking minute especially me like i have kids i can't fucking be risking that shit not only that but you don't want your life or your persona or whatever you want to get affected or changed just because
of someone else's choices so i feel like in my personal opinion you are absolutely fucking justified All right, on to the next. I traveled out of state to attend a week -long company event. On the first day, we're standing up to make our introduction. The colleague who had a few coughing fits announces during her intro that she just recovered from pneumonia. Sure enough, by day three, I am sick with cold, chills, body aches, headaches, sore throat, watery eyes. Another
colleague gets a runny nose, sneezing fits. My VP notices my and the other colleague's sickness and graciously excuses us from the rest of the event. We spent the rest of the weekend in our hotel room. I still can't fly home because now I'm hacking up a lung and can't expose a plane full of people to this. I'm mad because I think
she could have stayed home. Even if she was almost fully recovered, I'm mad because she was able to stay until the final day and I had to miss out on the most important parts of the meeting. Having incurred the expense of medications, door dashing for deliveries, and losing weekends with my family. Am I justified for feeling this way?
Absolutely. absolutely now i'm not gonna say that you can fully blame your colleague because you are at a company event there's dozens maybe hundreds of people there if she just recovered from pneumonia then there's a chance she's no longer contagious you know i wouldn't fully fully blame her But I will absolutely say that it could partially be her fault. So I fully understand why you are upset, and I do feel like it is justified.
I, 20 female, made the stupid choice to get engaged to my now ex -fiancee, 19 male, at a fairly young age. We were dating since I was 17, he was 16, we got engaged when I was 19, and he was 18. We moved very fast, I'm aware of that. We cut off the engagement and broke up November of 2024. We remained friends. Recently, we started talking about our relationship again and I was thrilled. Then he told me the entire time him and I were
talking, he had already had a girlfriend. I was devastated and I got mad to the point where I stopped talking to him and I almost blocked him. I ended up messaging the so -called girlfriend. She told me that they were not dating and never dated. He barely even talked to her. So I confronted him and he said he did it to rage bait me and to make me jealous. We ended up having a big
argument and now I have him blocked. maybe he's just immature but i'm not sure if i overreacted no he's immature as fuck listen you saw the red flags once you cut off the engagement once you realize that you move too quick clearly very clearly he's very immature fuck that move on on to the next all righty let's see i've talked to this girl for about a month and a half we've been on five dates we started to get to the place of introducing each other's family here's what
she texted me after our date today also i just wanted to say i don't mind calling on next saturday if you want me to but i can't do that all the time also you're welcome to come to my party the following weekend i just don't want you to feel obligated obligated I replied to it, well, that's really nice of you to say. I wouldn't want you to miss work, but next Saturday I can definitely make sure you're home on time for
work while we also have our time together. I'm more than happy to come support you at your grad party, but we can talk more about it over the weekend. For context, she's having her college grad party in two weeks. Her parents suggested me coming to it. I would definitely be down. But I haven't met her parents yet and I would like to do it prior to the grad party. I need
a perspective from another person. When she said she can call out of work but I can't do it all the time, was that her way of saying she wants to take the day off to spend with me? I tried to be polite about it and I would never ask her to take time off for me. Alright. So two things. Yes, she absolutely wants to spend time with you. She's just making you aware that she's not going to be able to always do it, but she definitely wants to do it, right? She definitely wants to
spend that quality time with you. Just again, be aware. It's not going to be an every week thing, but she wants that time with you. She's inviting you to her grad party. Although her parents are going to be there, that is a big deal. She clearly is somewhat serious about you and definitely likes you. And I do get you wanting to meet the parents prior. I'm the same way.
Before I meet your family all together, I would want to meet them separately just to get a feel about how things are going to be, not be thrown to the wolves. So I understand your perspective. I think her head's in a good place. Your head's in a good place. I would talk about it and just find a middle ground that you are both absolutely comfortable with. All righty, y 'all. Well, that'll wrap it up for today's episode. That was definitely an eventful one. Thank you for being here. Thank
you for tuning in. Speaker Chaos is everywhere you currently listen to your podcast. We never truly know what submissions will be sent in. It could be anything from love. to exes, sometimes even an affair that's going on. At times, it could be your very strange roommate, something happening with your best friend, with your mother. We're never really sure. And there are times where we get submissions that are so questionable that we're honestly not sure if we should speak
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