How to Give Constructive Criticism in English [435]

Hi there, this is Harry and welcome back to Advanced English Lessons with Harry where I try to help you to get a better understanding of the English language. Okay, well this is an advanced English lesson and in this particular lesson we're specifically looking at formal and business English relating to being polite when you have to or need to criticize somebody. So we'll look at that in particular. In the second part of this lesson it won't only just be about business English.

We'll also look at some phrases and expressions that you can use when you might have to criticize somebody that you know or that you know well. Okay so primarily we're looking at business English. So this these are really good for you there out there who have difficulties understanding what you should do when you're put in a situation where you're managing people or in charge of a team and you're not quite sure how you should approach somebody when you have to criticize them.

Anytime that we have to criticize, it's always nice to criticize in a polite way. There's absolutely no point shouting and screaming at somebody because first of all they'll probably stop listening after a few seconds. Secondly they're going to get upset and therefore they probably won't listen anyway. And thirdly all they'll hear is blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. So the criticism will be worthless.

So hopefully with some of these expressions you'll be able to criticize somebody not only in a polite way but also in a calm way that will mean you'll get through to them, the message will get through to them and perhaps there's a better chance that they'll understand why you're criticizing and how they can improve themselves. Okay so this is an advanced English lesson. As I said it's going to be two parts.

The first part is primarily looking at business English and it's more formal and the second part will be relating to criticism that you have to give when you're talking to people who you know particularly well. Okay so let's get started. Okay so I'm going to give you the expressions and then explain them and then give you an example. Okay so the first one is I have to say or I am bound to say B-O-U-N-D I have to say or I am bound to say and you can see why these are a little bit more formal.

They're not informal at all. So very much business style English. So we use this expression when we want to say something that may annoy the person that we're talking to. So they're going to get a little bit upset or annoyed because we are criticizing them and they particularly don't like to be criticized. So let me give you an example. I'm bound to say I found your written response to our client's query a little short of the mark.

So you're criticizing them because the letter that they replied when the client was complaining was didn't really answer the client's or the customer's problem. So I am bound to say that your response to our customer or our client's complaint was a little short of the mark. So basically they're saying the letter wasn't good enough. Okay, so you really have to try better the next time.

Make sure that you read or listen to the customer or the client's complaints and then make sure you answer those properly and thoroughly when you're replying to them. The next expression is with respect to or with all due respect. So with respect to or with all due respect. And again, as you can see, it sounds very, very formal and very businesslike. And this is used when we're going to disagree with somebody in particular and we're going to criticize them.

And we also want to be sounding a little bit more polite. So we could say something like this. With all due respect, Mr. Smith, I do think that you're being very unreasonable. Yeah? With all due respect, Mr. Smith, I do think you're being very unreasonable. Now, you might hear this on a TV program, particularly where an interviewer, the presenter, is perhaps interviewing a politician.

And they don't ever want to be rude, but they certainly want to get across the point that either the viewers wouldn't like what has been said. You say, with all due respect, Mr. Smith, I don't think our viewers will really understand your point of view. With all due respect, Mr. Smith, I don't think your point is being reasonable at all. I think you need to consider it again.

Okay, so it's just different ways in which you can criticize somebody about something they have said, but you want to be quite polite. And as I say, it's a very good way, particularly for journalists or TV presenters, to talk in particular to politicians or leading business people who they have on their program. But equally, you can use it in your office situation.

So you might be saying something like, with all due respect, Michael, I do think you need to take a little bit more care and attention with your appearance. So perhaps you're criticising one of your workers over the way they dress. You might have a dress down policy, but they have taken it a little bit too far. So with all due respect, Michael, I do think you could take a little bit more care or pay a little bit more care and attention to your personal appearance. Do you work in English?

Many people learn English from textbooks, but real everyday work English is different. I have written a short guide with the phrases I use with my students for meetings and emails, and including the phrases I advise them not to use. The guide is only 9 Euro. The link is in the description. Next one, to say the least or to put it mildly. Now these expressions often come at the end of the sentence. So we put in our criticism and then we use these expressions usually at the end of the sentence.

Okay, so they're usually used when we want to suggest that something is actually worse than how we are saying it. Okay, so the situation could be a lot worse or a lot more extreme than what we are actually saying. So we use these expressions when we're trying to express that view and opinion. So to say the least or to put it mildly. So let me give you an example of that. I think his behavior at the party was completely out of order, to put it mildly.

So obviously somebody went a little bit crazy at the office party. Perhaps he got very drunk. Perhaps he insulted a few people. And this is your reaction to it. So I think his behavior at the office party was completely out of order, to put it mildly. So really, it was really OTT over the top. Or you could say, I found the meal at that restaurant last week absolutely disgusting, to say the least. So it wasn't even disgusting. It was worse than disgusting. It was terrible.

So perhaps you had organized a meal for the top management, or perhaps it was in some way to celebrate some event in the company, and the meal you found not to your liking. So you could say, I found the meal in that restaurant last week really disgusting to say the least. So you might want to use worse language, but you're very careful not to be overly critical.

And when you use that expression to say the least or to put it mildly, it's really telling everybody that, yeah, it was really worse than you're making it out to be. Okay. All right. Now, the next expression, shall we say? Now, this on its own sounds a little bit strange, but again, we put it in the middle of the sentence. Okay. And we're using it when we really want to be criticizing somebody, but we want to be not so offensive and we don't want to sound too severe.

So we're trying to water down or make it sound a little softer when we are giving criticism. So the expression is, shall we say? So let me give you an example of that. Your timekeeping, shall we say, leaves a lot to be desired. Or your time keeping, shall we say, is not up to the level of other people. So here you're criticizing a member of your staff because they're constantly late. They're either coming in late or they're leaving early. They don't apologize. They don't give any excuses.

They always seem to be under pressure. So you're saying, yeah, your timekeeping, the hours you attend the office, shall we say, leave a lot to be desired or shall we say are not up to the level of other people. So you're trying to be as polite as you can. You're not trying to offend too much, but you do want to get the message across that really they have to get the finger out and they have to improve their timekeeping. Next expression, don't get me wrong. Don't get me wrong.

Now we use this when we want to make sure that someone understands exactly what we are trying to say, that they want to understand your comments as correctly as possible, and particularly when you're criticizing them. So you want to give them some hope, you know, that not everything is being criticized and is not as bad as they might think it is, but at the same time, you want to get the message across.

Now, it could be something simple like, let's say, your presentations or the way they handle clients. So let's talk about a staff member called Mary. Well, let's take Mary's presentations. Now, don't get me wrong, she's actually quite good, but she needs to do a little bit of work about closing the presentation when she's coming to the end. Okay, so a little bit of criticism, but it's not undue criticism, but it's in a way to try and improve her presentation skills.

So let's take Mary as an example. Now, don't get me wrong, her presentations are really good, she speaks well, but the end of the presentation, she just goes on a little bit too long and she needs a nice crisp ending to it. So this is a way in which you can criticize somebody in a polite way. Or it could be something to do with the way they talk to the clients. Now, let's talk about David. Now, David, when he's dealing with clients, don't get me wrong, he's really, really polite.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with his manners. They are impeccable. But he tends to talk a little bit too much and he doesn't listen to the client as much as he should. So here again, we're putting some criticism in the way of David and the way he deals with the clients. But we don't want to be overly critical. So we say, yeah, now let's take David and how he deals with clients. Don't get me wrong, he's absolutely polite.

His manners are really impeccable, but he just tends to talk a little bit too much and not let the customer talk or he doesn't listen to the customer or the client in the way he should. Okay, so again, trying to criticize somebody there. Okay, well, the next expression, how shall I put it? Or let me put it this way. So they're more or less the same. So how shall I put it? Or let me put it this way. These are used when you're going to say something where you really want to be honest.

Okay, you want people to understand that you're being honest. But for some, it may sound a little rude or even it may even sound a little bit unkind. Okay, so perhaps you're talking about your daughter's new boyfriend or your son's new girlfriend. Well, his girlfriend, how would I say, how shall I put it? She's a little bit rude. So you're trying to be as honest as possible, but the only word you can use is she's a little bit rude.

Or her new boyfriend, so our daughter, her new boyfriend, how will I put it? Or let me put it this way here. New boyfriend, it doesn't seem suitable for her at all. So you're really as a parent or as a father or as a mother, extremely critical of your daughter or son's choice of partner. And you want to be honest, but you'd want to try and avoid being too rude or too unkind.

Of course, as we know with our sons and daughters, if we make any criticism of their chosen girlfriend or boyfriend, they're usually going to support them. So you have to be really, really careful. Okay. And the last one I have is an expression without wishing to, without wishing to. So it means, and we use this when we are going to say something that the other person may not like.

So we're sort of giving them a little bit of advance warning without wishing to hurt your feelings, for example, without wishing to sound too harsh, without wishing to burst your bubble is another way we can say it. So let me try and give you a couple of examples when we might use it. Without wishing to hurt your feelings, I really think you need to put a little bit more effort into this presentation. The first document that I saw, it really isn't up to the level that we need.

Okay, so without wishing to hurt your feelings, without wishing to burst your bubble, that client really, really isn't going to stay with us too long. I know you're excited that you got him, but I think you'll realize in a couple of months that we're not going to keep him long term. Okay, so without wishing to burst your bubble, without wishing to hurt your feelings. So you're saying something that is definitely going to be critical.

They're not going to like it, but there is no other way to say it. Okay. So they're all different expressions, particularly and specifically relating to business, particularly and specifically about criticism, and also extremely formal, as you can hear from them.

Okay. Now, it's important when we are, as I said before, criticizing that we do it in a as polite a way as possible so the other person doesn't get unduly upset, but it is also important when we are criticizing them that the criticism is clear, it's understandable. And of course, the best way to do that is when you're calm and you can be collected and you can get it across without shouting and screaming.

Okay, now what we're going to look at next are ways in which you can criticize people who you know a little bit better. So if you want to be direct or you want to criticize somebody that you know well, then there are lots of expressions and fixed phrases that you can use. For example, you should have. Now, we often use this with the past participle. You should have called me before you agreed to allow her to take some holidays.

So perhaps you've been criticizing your PA or your head of HR or somebody. So you know them very well, but you're a little bit annoyed that they didn't consult you before they give some permission for somebody to take some extra days leave. You should have called me before. Or you might even say to your son or daughter, you should have asked me before you use my credit card. Of course, I would have said yes, but it would have been nice if you had asked me first.

So you should have asked me before you use my credit card. I like to know how you are spending my money. Yeah, you should have called me. And in the negative, we could say, you shouldn't have done that without my approval, first of all. You shouldn't have completed that side of the agreement or you shouldn't have completed that contract without me being aware of it.

Okay, so you can say, yeah, you have permission to agree certain things, but I'd like to know what exactly we're signing and what the contract was all about. And again, if you take it on a personal level, you might say to somebody, you shouldn't have taken my car without my permission. So son takes your car, nothing happens to it, there's no damage. He's a careful driver. But again, you come home and the car isn't there. You would like to have known and like to have been asked.

You shouldn't have taken my car without asking me first or without seeking or asking permission. Okay, so again, you can use it in a personal capacity. Another way of doing it is you could say, why didn't you ask me first? So this is with the infinitive, and here it's just the bare infinitive. Why didn't you ask me first? Why didn't you go to your mother and ask her for some money rather than borrowing money from a friend?

So perhaps your son comes into you or daughter and says, oh, have you got a hundred euro? I had to borrow some money last week from a friend because I really needed it. And you say, well, why didn't you ask me first without having to borrow it from your friend? Why didn't you go to your mother and ask her without having to borrow it from a friend? So here we're using the why didn't you plus the infinitive either in a bare infinitive ask or go to the verb go plus the infinitive to.

Okay, so they're good examples again of using it in a personal capacity. Why didn't you call me last night? Why didn't you call me last night when you promised to? Okay, so they're again, simple examples of how you would use these type of strong words, being polite, but also criticizing somebody for actions they have done or something that they haven't done. Okay, now, as I said, we always want to soften our criticism.

And when we want to criticize people, we can also back it up with some compliments as well. Now, we just have to be careful here because sometimes they can be received or seen as back-handed compliments. And a back-handed compliment is usually a compliment that comes with a criticism. So we have to be a little bit careful. Yeah. Now, here are some phrases that you can use. I appreciate your hard work, but I would think we just need to put in a little bit more effort to get this account closed.

So you're telling somebody, yeah, a compliment, you appreciate the hard work they've done, but we just need to go an extra little mile to get this closed. Yeah, so I appreciate your hard work, but we just need to put in a little bit more effort now to get it closed. I can tell that you have put a lot of effort into this project. I really appreciate it, but I think it probably needs some assistance from one of the senior managers.

So here again, you are thanking the person for all the work and effort they've put into it so far. But, and here is the but, but they're going to have to hand it over to somebody a little bit more senior because that's the only way this deal is going to get closed. So I can tell you've put a lot of effort into it, but I think you need to hand it over to the senior manager.

Or indeed, if you're talking to one of your kids to say, look, I can see you've put a lot of effort into your studies, but are you sure you're studying in the most effective way? So here you can see the hours and hours that your son or daughter spends in their room, at the table, but you want to make sure that whatever studies they are doing are effective. So yeah, I can tell you've put a lot of effort into this, but are you sure it's being effective?

And a work point of view, I enjoyed your presentation today, but it was just a little bit too long, okay? Or I enjoyed your presentation today, but I thought it could have done with a little bit more color or a few more photographs, not as much writing. But yeah, overall, it was a really good presentation. So again, we are criticizing, but we're also giving a compliment. And then something like, yeah, overall, it's a good presentation, but I think it's a little bit too long.

Or overall, it's a good presentation, but I think you just need to improve the beginning and get a really, really good, sharp ending to it. So again, compliment with the criticism, as we might call the carrot and the stick approach. Okay, so different ways in which you can soften the criticism using a compliment. So I appreciate your hard work. I can tell you've put a lot of effort into. I enjoyed your presentation today. Overall, it's good, but always the but. I enjoyed the presentation.

It was good, but. And when we are criticizing, try to make criticism constructive. Constructive means that somebody gets something out of it, some benefit that will help them to go away and improve on what they've done, not just criticism for the sake of it. Ah, that's crap. Ah, Jesus, this is rubbish. What have you done? I mean, that's not constructive criticism. So constructive criticism is something that would be helpful.

I find, for example, I find it helpful to use this platform, or I find it helpful to run this by Joan or Michael or Mary or Catherine. Okay, so giving some criticism to the other person as to how they might get a second set of eyes to look at the document. So you could say, I find it helpful to get somebody else to read over my letters or presentation when I'm finished them because I often miss some things. You know, when you write it, you don't always see the little mistake.

So I find it helpful to have a second set of eyes to look at it later. So if you're unsure in the future, just give me a call. Or if you're unsure in the future, just ask me and I'm gladly read it or look over it and give you some help or some hints or some tips. Or we can pass it on to one of the other people to help you with it as well. So if you're unsure about anything in the future, don't hesitate. Okay, so these are helpful ways to give criticism in a constructive manner.

Okay, so this is the end of this particular lesson. As I said, we were looking at more formal business type of English, how you could be critical and how you could give criticism in a friendly and polite way. And in the first way, it's usually with people that you don't know so well. They might be just colleagues, people reporting to you if you're the line manager. And the second half of the presentation was more to do with people that you would know a little bit better.

And therefore, the criticism sometimes doesn't always hit the point, but you have to be really, really careful with people that you know. So as always, have a look at this. Practice using them. Get a chance. If you have to be critical, try to use some of them in your office or ordinary relationships with people. If you need any more help, then contact me on www.englishlessonvyskype.com. Very happy to hear from you and very happy to give you any further assistance that you need.

Okay, well, thanks for listening. Thanks for watching. And as always, make sure to join me for the next lesson.