Welcome to the inspire people impact lives podcast. This podcast is for people who are looking to get more out of life by making an impact on those around them. Each week we bring you local influential business and community leaders delivering powerful messages to help you live a more inspiring and impactful life coming to you live from Northwestern mutual Middleton. Here's your host, Josh cosmic.
Welcome to another episode of inspire people impact lives. I'm particularly excited today. We actually had a break in our guests where someone canceled and I'm not excited about that, but I am excited about who's filling in. I have my baby brother who's been begging to be on the show, uh, since we started. Uh, so I have him, Jordan Kosnick, our Chief Development Officer at Northwestern Mutual.
So this show is about leadership, about impacting lives, about all the we can do in the community to develop as human beings and what better to have that, uh, topic kind of go forward with someone that spends their daily life in doing so. And Jordan's role with our organization is to develop new advisors into the best advisors they can be and help them have successful careers on going, but he doesn't just do that with our organization. He does that in the community, does that with his family.
So we're really excited to have him today. So to set this up, I'm going to read a little bit and we'll then get into our back and forth, uh, because sometimes we agree and sometimes we don't. Jordan and I tried, so, so Jordan died. To give you some perspective, I'm the oldest of four. He's the youngest of four. We have two in between. So I'm the tail end of Gen x. He's firmly implanted in millennial generation. So there are some differences, uh, between how we see things.
So you'll hopefully get a, a view of that today. So hop right into this. One of the factors that I believe makes us strong a strong organization is our ability to grow others. And in Jordan is a big part of that. Several years ago we started taking a holistic approach to our leadership and development. If you want to make significant improvements in the performance of your team, then start with this.
Instead of solely mentoring our people to become better professionals, coach them to become better human beings, focus on their personal, professional, financial and spiritual wellbeing. Trust that if they are becoming better men and women outside of the office, then their performance at the office and in their work will significantly improve.
Well we will share with you today are a few tips and uplift applicable takeaways to help you do the same in your line of work and with the teams that you lead. So Jordan, since you've been well welcome first of all, thank you. And since you've been wanting to be on here, what are you are and where do you want to start today? What I like to start with as I'm teaching the audience how to help
your teams in their physical and mental health. I think that's something that we do very well. So first question I'd like to start with is, have you ever heard of the phrase two's two's company three's a group text?
No. This must be a millennial question.
No, just cause I just made it up. But, uh, what I'd like to talk about in Joshua, you're well aware of the group texts that, that, uh, that we've started in. So what I want to tell the audiences, if you want to foster accountability, use the technology that we have. If you're working with millennials, and even if you're not, everyone has a cell phone. Everyone has the ability to create a group text. Um, now it's a little different if you're using an android and a in a day, um, and I and iPhone.
But there are ways around that and you can start group texts and what they do is really help you hold each other accountable. And so on a physical side, um, start a group text and helping people hold them, held each other accountable in working out. So think about picking an amount of days that you want to work out per week.
Let's just say four and pick a, a penalty or as we like to call it a squeak that if you don't hit one of those are, or more than one of those workouts, you owe, let's say 20 bucks to the pot. And so four days a week you got to work out, you got to take a picture of your workout or maybe a screenshot of what your Apple Watch says that you did and make it a minimum of like a 30 minute workout four times a week.
Any for everyone that you miss, Yo 20 bucks to the pot gives you a little incentive to make sure that you hit it. And the other thing that it does is it creates a fun atmosphere where you're sharing those pictures, sharing what you did and maybe even getting ideas for different workouts and, and things physically that you can do a, and I know that's something that, that has helped us a ton and something that I would really recommend that you do.
Um, if you're looking to improve your fitness and physical health. Uh, Joshua, one thing I wanted to pass it off to you on is you've done something and, and started on the mental health side. Um, so tell the audience about a group text that you've started with podcasts.
Yeah. So we call it the learning leaders. It's a, they all happen to be iPhone users. We don't allow Sam certain users and they're not in this group and having this group because it screws up our flow. We'd have to switch over to group me or one of the other apps. But, uh, so, uh, another advisor of ours and I've really started sharing things back and forth in the group, started slowly growing as to people that wanted to actually be a part of hearing inspirational quotes, sharing.
Uh, podcasts were all listening to something a little bit different. I mean, there is some overlap, uh, with some of the podcast hosts that were listening to, but, uh, overall it's created a really cool environment to help other each other grow within the organization. Some of us are in different cities, some of us who are in the same office. So we don't necessarily get that day to day interaction. And this allows to re it's almost every day something.
Would you say, I mean you're a part of it as well. Yeah, something is popping up. I mean today I think it's been on fire with quotes and podcasts and Yup. And different shares. So it, so it could be one thing a day, it could be 10 things a day depending on the eight members of the group run, what they're sharing and going back and forth. But I know that they're sharing it with other people, uh, that they lead and uh, where we get to grow mentally, uh, over and over again through all those.
Sometimes it gets a little tough to keep up with some of the stuff. I will say that because there is a lot a lot shared, but uh, the fact of the matter is it's another resource that's there. I don't have to go searching for something.
Right. Well, when, what's cool about that is you have a a plane ride or a, a long drive. Both of us know that we have a list of podcasts that if we're not caught up, we can go back and listen to. And so it's pretty nice from that standpoint even though, yeah, you know, to keep up to date daily would be, it would be pretty tough, especially with what do we have maybe 10 to 15 people in their eight to 10 at this marketing. I'm sure it'll continue to grow as long as they're an iPhone user.
So I know Josh promised that we would leave you with some applicable takeaways and easy way to remember the, the value that this will bring. Um, beyond remembering. My cool phrase of two's company three's a group text is remember the three apps creating a group text in, uh, for something like this, whether it be a, a workout accountability group or a, um, you know, mental health group A or podcast group is the three F's. It'll foster accountability.
It creates friendships and strengthens relationships and it brings a lot of fun to the relationships that you currently have. And so three apps fosters accountability, creates friendships and, and allows for a lot more fun when you're learning and growing as an [inaudible].
The visuals, I like the, the piece on accountability or when a key in on, uh, for our listeners is, I don't know that I've had the opportunity to say this, but it'll be something I continue to say. Is that the only person that can hold you accountable truly as you. All right. So what you just spoke of in the group text that we've started or that you're a part of separately, is it's a system of accountability as less just a system.
And we can create many as systems of accountability, but the end of the day, the individual is the only one that can hold themselves accountable. That's very true. But I like the three F's
makes it easy to remember. So the next thing I want to talk about is what I call the sizzle there. Multiple ss there. Yes. Did it sound like it? It did sound good. That's how, that's what I was going for him. So there's three acids to be exact. Uh, Josh G, do you know, do you know why it's called the sizzle? No, not at all. Cause it's hot. It's a hot take. It's a, it, it's that heat. So let me, let me, uh, let me tell you what it is. So the first ass is share. So we talked a lot about this.
Uh, just previously, share ideas, share thoughts, share time when you're, when you're meeting with your, when you're working with the people that you lead, it means a lot to them. I, I'm, I'm an avid listener of your podcast. Uh, as you mentioned, and I've been, I've been dying to get on here. So one of the things that you've talked about with one of your guests was people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.
And one of the best and easiest ways, and made me not easy for everyone depending on their schedules, but one of the best ways to show someone how much you care, sharing your time, right? Time is probably ever, you're most people's, especially leaders, most valuable asset. And when you share time with them, it means the world to them. And what I would add to that is it's not just quantity of time, right?
You as a leader, you don't have a ton of time in your day to be spending it with everyone that you lead. But make sure that when you do spend time, and this goes for all the leaders out there, it's quality of time. And there's, there are ways to do, to make sure that it's quality of time. And one of the best ways is by asking questions, right? Showing a genuine interest in what it is that they're interested in or their lives or their families. Um, and, and listening, right?
We, we talk about, uh, listening as an important thing and that's a foreshadow for what we're going to talk about next. But when you listen to somebody really, really well and they feel heard, they feel like you're really interesting and that you really care about them. And so that time becomes more quality and it's not so important that you're spending a ton of quantity of time with them. But it's that quality of time.
I would completely agree. And that's with our kids, you know, we work eight to 10 hours a day. You sleep six to eight hours per day. Just mathematically we don't have as much time with them or they're in school during the time that we're working. So we have those couple of hours at night. It's all about quality.
Yup. Absolutely. The second ass is send, so not send it, but uh, from, uh, like a snowboarding or you know, something like that standpoint. But we could use that. So if you send it, send books, send articles, sand, um, you know, when you have a thought about something, I think something that you're really good at, Joshua's when, when you read something, uh, or, or, or hear something or learn something new that you feel applies to somebody and you think of them, you send it to them.
And so, uh, I like that phrase. It's become, it's become popular over the last several years. Um, and so to, to remember this one. Just send it if you have something that you think will be valuable to someone, send it to them.
I think one of the coolest things about our organization and what I would encourage all of you to do that are in leadership positions is send something to someone, whether it's a handwritten note, whether it's a, a book that you think they would find value in and write a little note in that book just to show them that, that you care about them. Send what you have to the people that you care about and to the people that you're leading.
How I started doing that and the biggest reason why was if I would think of something about someone while I was reading it, I just made sure to send it. And so I continue to do that. And then the, the caveat, or not Kevin, but addition I made to, uh, within the last few years was when I would send an article or when our draw by someone, a book, I would ask them to report back to me on as to what they learned.
And so not only a did I know that they received it and read it, but hey, what did you take away from it? Because something in this article or something that's this book made me think of you specifically and I want to know if you took away from it what I took away from it. And most of the time the student is ready when the teacher appears or maybe it didn't land on them or how I wanted to land.
And then I can actually give my point as to what, what I was thinking about, what made me think of them. If I didn't hear back from them why or why I might've sent it if it didn't land well, what's cool about that?
Two as, and I'll ask you, have you ever gotten something back that wasn't necessarily something that you picked up on? Um, but something else that they read in the book that was the value add that maybe you didn't realize the first time?
Oh, almost every time. Yeah. Yeah, because they, I mean, they're, we're all uniquely gifted in different people. And so, uh, and you're their experiences or my experiences or are entirely different than how we grew up in and what our dynamics were, bad things and good things that have happened to us in life. So our minds are formed so differently that we're going to pick up different things in anything that we read.
So almost every time, not only are they learning something that I'm hearing what they learned, they're probably teaching me something as well.
So by adding that extra piece, you not only made an impact by just sending it, but you're impacted yourself by getting something back because yes, it may have been this, the thing that you thought of when you thought of them in this book or article or whatever it was, which gives you affirmation that, okay, they, they heard it right, the student arrived and, but at the same time, you're also potentially getting more value by asking you to report back and learning something new that you didn't
pick up the first time that you read it
are absolutely in the last thing I'll say there is, uh, the teacher always learns best, right? Twice. Right, right. So you learn it twice, right? Uh, because not only did you read it, learn it, kind of absorb it, but when you have to teach someone, you're really letting it soak in.
So hopefully with that model, any anyone that can copy that model, you're really helping your people grow by being of them, being able to learn it from you and teach it back to you what their learning experts say that you are the average of the five people you hang out with and the books that you, we'd
like to suggest the podcast that you listened to as well. So hit that subscribe button and add Madison's top leaders to your circle. We'd also encourage you to share this podcast with as many friends as possible. Our mission is simple to inspire people and impact lives. If you know of a friend or colleague or could benefit from listening to some of Madison's top leaders, give us a share. Now back to our guest. Absolutely
awesome. So the sizzle again, the three asses our share sand and show appreciation. Last one, show appreciation. So I talked about handwritten notes, handwritten notes we've been talked about for a long time. They mean a lot because it takes time. People don't, don't write anymore as much. And so when you take the time to write a note, especially with your handwriting, Josh, Josh has amazing handwriting a for anyone that doesn't know a, whereas mine is not.
So I struggle sometimes writing a handwritten note because either a, I'm, I'm scared that they're not gonna be able to understand what I'm writing a and B, it takes me a to, to write it in the open. Sometimes I'm using two or three cars because I messed up or whatever. It doesn't look good. Um, but anyways, it really shows that you put some time and effort into writing something that we've talked about recently.
And I want to express this to the audience because a lot of leaders, and I would say it's not just specific to men, but a lot of men have trouble expressing their feelings. And if you're one of those, man, you'll know what I'm talking about. Um, but, but sometimes writing down your feelings is a lot easier than sharing them with somebody in person.
And so if you're one of those people that has a hard time expressing their feelings or emotions, try writing them down, try writing a letter to someone about how you feel about them.
You don't even have to send it sometimes just the act of writing it down will help you collect your thoughts and then maybe potentially make it easier for you to share those in person with them, if not, send them a letter that allows them to, not only, I was actually talking to another one of our leaders about this and what they shared with me is it also gives them the opportunity and the time to take that message in and respond in their own time as opposed to maybe sharing something that's
pretty heated or emotional in the moment. And then them having to react at that point or feel the need to react because you're standing there in front of them. So show appreciation, handwritten notes, um, can be really impactful because it, it shows that you took the time. But also because it might be an easier way for you to express your emotions in a way that maybe you didn't feel comfortable doing it
100%. So, uh, you are as a leader, um, you have no idea the impact your words have on those you lead. And that was taught to me by my business mentor and uh, and it's continually something I try and remind myself as well. But um, if you can handwrite a note, if you can write something meaningful on social media, just responding to a post, they made her through it, like their spouse made or something of that nature.
If you can, uh, take that time was particularly that handwritten note like you mentioned because just nowadays we're so digital, uh, send a card, people love opening cards in the mail. Yep. Right. So I, so it's reminds you of possibly like grandma or something. Then, you know, opening a card from a male, uh, from a distant relative. Like people are excited versus let the junk mail that you won't even open your rip up and throw away the cards you open. Yup. So those, those can go such a long way.
Uh, actually on my, uh, team meeting sheet each week, my executive assistant brings to me on that list is, is there anyone I need to send a thank you or a note to Yup. And so she just keeps that in the forefront of my mind. So again, that's another system of accountability is she'll give me ideas there as to, hey, do you need to write a note to this person or just ask me the question. Is there anyone you need to write a note to? Yup.
Last piece on this is just say thank you. The words thank you go so far. Showing appreciation to someone. Hey, I really appreciate what you do for our organization. Make sure that the people that are, especially the most important leaders are, are, are um, salespeople or whoever you're leading. Tell them how much they mean to you. Show them appreciation. Like Josh just said, your words go a lot farther than you believe. Um, so let them know that.
And that's the lesson there. Before we move on. As I as a leader, and maybe some of you are like me, I struggle with a couple of different things. Hey, I struggle taking compliments. Um, that's true. So it makes me uncomfortable. Uh, so I've learned just to say thank you and move on and now try to minimize the comment. And then secondly, um, I struggle with, uh, showing that appreciation because I don't need it.
Like I don't need validation and that kind of goes hand in hand with the compliments thing. Like I, I, I really don't need that much validation, but there's people in my life that really do and I know that a lot of others are. I'm actually kind of not the norm with that. I think the norm is more that yeah, they need validation and appreciation. Um, so I actually have to work extra hard and put in more systems to do that and to remind myself of that because I'm just not naturally wired that way.
Yup. Absolutely. All right. So if you've noticed a theme of the number three you you've noticed correctly, three is my favorite number. So the third and last piece on this will be, listen, I, we've talked about listening. Um, are you listening Josh?
Uh, yeah.
Okay. So I thought you might be dozing off or something. So we're going to put together an acronym here. Um, so what do you think the letter l stands for Josh and lesson.
You want me to guess? Yeah, love. No, it's, listen,
I thought you were going to go with the I and the, you know, I'm fairly creative guy, but that one just, I felt like we just start with listen. Um, so we talked about before you have two ears and one mouth for a reason. You should be listening more than you speak.
Well that was beat into our head by her father. Yep.
Um, and the other thing I've, I've just heard recently and I would, I would encourage anyone in sales to remember this quote. You will never listen. You're way out of a close. I'll say it again. You will never listen. You're way out of a close. And really, if you think about the opposite of that, it's very easy and happens often to talk your way out of a close. In fact, in certain cultures, it's norm to take a moment to appreciate an offer.
And a lot of times if we're just talking, talking, talking, you know, we might talk ourselves out of a close when they were, they had already agreed that they were going to move forward with you. So really make sure that you're listening to people when you truly listen and people feel heard, odds are that you're going to create a better relationship and, and, and most likely sell that whatever it is.
Uh, last thing on on that, and I'll let you, uh, you add something Josh has, we're listen, comes from is an old English word and actually came from Germanic language of, uh, I'm going to probably pronounce it incorrectly, but least non, which directly translates to, to pay attention to. And so I think about those words to pay attention to, right? I think about, uh, kind of the, the, the, um, the checks and balances, right? So how much you're paying versus how much you're receiving.
And when you're truly listening to someone, you're paying attention to them. And so you're depositing into their bank account, their emotional bank account. They're the, you know, just the, the time and attention that you're giving them. So I think that's a really cool way to, to think about the word listen is you're paying into their emotional bank account, uh, and not depositing from, uh, are we, sorry, I should say withdrawing from their emotional bank account.
That was great. The thing that came to mind is, or you're trying to be interesting or interested who, Yup. And so that's, that's where I go to with the, obviously the quote that was beaten into our head by father of God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason. Um, it was like a bedtime,
well, a bio thing. And what happens when you're really good at being interested, they're your, they're more drawn to you. You end up becoming more interesting, don't you? So by not trying to be interesting, you actually in fact become more interesting.
Yeah. Early on in my sales career, I was, I was probably pretty bad at those. Not Probably, I definitely was. Whereas I wanted to get as much information out as possible and I'm thinking about my retail career was like, cause I knew all about the technical side. Yeah. Well and all the technical specs or why this TV or why this camcorder was awesome cause I was at circuit city and best buy as a teenager and early twenties. Like this is awesome. I was excited about it. You should be too.
But, and maybe they were, but I wasn't taking the time to really get to know what they wanted or needed. And I was just talking about how awesome this big screen TV is or how awesome this came quarter was or DVD player, whatever it might then. And so then as I got into being an advisor, it was such a different dynamic in such a different relationship you're trying to forge.
So we'd play a game of who, especially if you ask, uh, ask an uncomfortable question that might be trying, whereas he or she who talks first loses, you have to play a game with yourself, uh, almost because is in those uncomfortable moments, like it may not be uncomfortable for them at all there because they're processing the information or processing the question how they want to answer. You're the one uncomfortable.
So it's like if you can embrace that uncomfortability and let them answer so much more can come of it, you might get the real truth instead of forcing them to answer with some bs.
Yeah. So it's, it's such a skill and we got to get used to being uncomfortable for so many reasons, but in particular is to allow people the space and opportunity to, to process, to answer in an inappropriate manner because they're not trying to blow you off their thinking, especially internal processors like myself where as you and I are opposite in the valley, you're a verbal processor. I'm, I'm internal, so I have to think through something.
And, and my wife knows this where she's also a verbal processor. So Jen has learned to say, Hey, when you're ready, just come out with it. And sometimes she does better than others and letting me do that. But she'll know if she asked me, Hey, what's wrong? And I'm not, I'll just say nothing. Like she knows something's wrong, but I'm not ready to come out with it yet because I'm not done processing internally and when I am, I'll come out with it.
Yeah. Um, so I think again, just understanding your audience, understanding, hey, as someone, a verbal processor versus internal like and just grown from there and really just care the biggest word there. And I think you spoke to it as care because if you're truly caring about what the customer needs or what the other person in the relationship across the table from me and needs, it's, it's asking the questions and being curious to really care about them as a person.
So the eye and listen is investigate. Oh, you were putting something out as an acronym. Oh yeah.
Yeah. The hell is just listen. Um, so I is investigate what makes them tick. Imagine, imagine they're your prime suspect and your personal investigator. What do you know about them? What can you find out about them to, to allow you to lead them and help with their, their, you know, who they are as a person. Uh, the, the s in listen his share. We talked about this earlier at share stories, share ideas, share resources.
One of the things that I, you know, in any organization, make sure that the resources that you have people know about them, they know how to have access to them and that you're sharing them right. Too often I feel like people either don't know or don't share the resources and I feel like it's something that is a huge strength of ours is that we share
the sources. One thing I want to interrupt you there on his, uh, because I think it's a crucial point of sharing yourself. It was being vulnerable enough to talk about something that may not be uncomfortable, but may not be comfortable, I should say, but could be very relatable when they can relate to you. Um, and when we can relate to anyone as a human being, just, just like, this person's like me or they get me, it's, it's hugely helpful. So sure of yourself. I would add to that,
the t stands for time, talked about this earlier as well, but spending time and quality over quantity. You remember that quality over quantity as far as time the, he has expectations. We talk a ton here about having high expectations. One of the best things that you can do on the best gifts, right? That we, that you can give someone as a gift of high expectations. It's huge. And then the n is nurture.
Uh, you know, I looked up the definition of nurturing and, and, you know, it's to show care and attention to growing something. How cool it does definition of is that nurture truly is what I believe. And the reason I loved ending this acronym with it is what I do. And if you're going to be a good leader of people, if you're going to show someone how to do it, nurturing that relationship is probably the best thing you can do. Look up the definition.
Uh, look up several definition of nurture and it's one of the best words I can, I can think of as it pertains to leadership
or couldn't disagree. They're actually, uh, the gift of high expectations. We talk about that frequently. Nurturing relationships. This is not everyone needs you to talk to them daily.
Uh Huh.
Right. So, uh, figure out what that relationship needs. And the other, the, there was a small book that I read a long time ago. It was a hundred slash zero and a lot of times people are trying to figure out in life, uh, you know, I'm giving more to this relationship.
I'm trying to like essentially way how much they're giving and uh, or you and I could sit here and argue about, well I'm you, I've given more to this relationship over the past year than you have and now we're, now we're getting to a dangerous space. Yup. Right. So a hundred dash or now's or you know, hyphen the zero was really the principle of give 100% of yourself and not expect anything in return.
Yup. There's again, if you attach yourself to your outcomes are and those expectations, you're oftentimes going to be disappointed, probably more often than not. And so giving yourself 100%, if it's a relationship that means something. Now obviously there's boundaries that you need to set with toxic people.
Um, but if you're in a relationship but you know, whether it's your spouse, whether it's that you're leading something, someone that matters, something to you and or your business, uh, in life, give 100% without anything and we're expecting anything in return, I guarantee you the return is going to be greater.
Yup. All right, so I'm going to do a quick recap. First one, applicable lessons too as a company. Three is a group text. The three APPS, foster accountability creates more friendships and strong relationships and allows for more fun. The sizzle, uh, the three s's are share sand and show appreciation. And then for listen, the L's lesson, super creative, investigate, share, time, expectations and nurture.
Awesome. So anything we also want to, only thing else you wanted to talk about in our time together,
I have a ton to, to share. But that's, that's all I, I wrote down for today and that's, that's uh, I was told to limit it so maybe we'll save. So if you allow me to come back on, I'll keep bugging you about it, but if you allow me to come back on, I'll share some more.
They are real super strict rules around here, time and whatnot. But no, I really think everybody for a paying attention today and listen and hopefully you got out of this, uh, in a 15 minute timeframe about, uh, what you came to the show to listen to and hear and learn from. Um, Jordan's takeaways that he put together for us is great and hopefully my input, uh, added there.
I do want to remind everyone that on Thursday, June 6th, we were having the best golf event in the area and you know, when Wisconsin, we got to get all the golf events in the summer. So Thursday, June 6th at pleasant view golf course. We're fundraising for Alex's lemonade stand, so if you go to www.drivingoutchildhoodcancer.com you can register, you can sponsor. We'd love to have you out there, a meteorologist or telling me two months in advance. It's going to be beautiful like 75 degrees.
Perfect Day. And then the last reminder, I've actually never done this on the show, but I want to remind you to follow me at, well actually not even remind you, I want to introduce my Instagram page where we are putting up content, giving you previews of these shows and a continuing, I want to hear feedback from all of you, the listeners on what a, you want to hear, what guests you want to hear from a love to hear any input in what you're taking away.
Kind of like that principle I told you about earlier is that teacher and the student can learn a lot from each other. So at Josh cosmic on Instagram, so that's capital j o s h
cosmetic Koms n I C K at Josh, cosmic on Instagram. Hope to see you there. Thanks for listening to another episode of inspire people, impact lives. If you've been inspired today, please share this episode with as many people as possible so that together our impact is exponential.