Speaker 1 (00:00:05) - Welcome to the Sparky Life Podcast with Lia Lamela. Thank you for joining me every Thursday for tantalizing trade tales, compelling craftsman stories of struggle parte, an unparalleled success in blue collar careers. I share with you my electrical journey experiences of insight through engaging bander with those I've met along the way. If you're interested in trade tales and industry from, with excitement and risk, subscribe and be notified every Thursday when trade tales continue. I love speaking to people in construction careers around the globe, because when I was blessed to study abroad in England, it was an eye-opening, mind-blowing, amazing experience. We learn so much from learning about others across the globe, about different cultures, about different ways of doing things. It's always an enlightening experience, and that's why I feel it's really important to speak to people in construction careers from all different places. So I have Aaron Huey with us today, coach of the Tradies. Coach Huey, I am so glad to have you with us, <laugh>.
Speaker 2 (00:01:35) - Thank you for having me on.
Speaker 1 (00:01:37) - Now, when we spoke previously, you're a carpenter with two decades of experience and originally born and raised in Scotland, correct?
Speaker 2 (00:01:46) - Yes. Okay. Yes. Other side of the globe near you. Yeah, I've been down here for 12 years, but yeah, originally I started my, um, construction career in Scotland.
Speaker 1 (00:01:58) - And when you started your construction career in Scotland, it was introduced to you how
Speaker 2 (00:02:06) - From an early age, I always wanted to do something with my hands. Like the, the thought of like an office job or going to university never really engaged me whatsoever. Like I didn't really enjoy the academical side of school mm-hmm. <affirmative> other than woodwork class. So I was like, okay, there's something here. Um, and then my mom's partner was a brick player, so it was kind of starting from a young age being on site, just helping him. Just, I don't know, I kind of just fell into it. It just seemed to be, it, it wasn't that it was pushed on me to get into it, but it just really resonated with me being able to kind of build something with your hands from scratch and then having the kind of, you know, stand back and look at it. I really liked that idea and I think that's kind of why I went into the carpentry slash joinery side of things.
Speaker 1 (00:02:53) - And then you made your way down to Australia and after two decades of experience in the trades, you started to move towards coaching, which I think is fantastic. And coaching specifically tradesmen.
Speaker 2 (00:03:07) - Yes. It's, um, definitely a niche market, as they say in the coaching, um, jargon. And, you know, coaching men, I've found is, is hard enough to get men to open up, obviously around the stigma around mental health, talking about the feelings, and, you know, the men are taught not to cry and not to show emotions and all this shit. Excuse my French,
Speaker 1 (00:03:30) - We curse here.
Speaker 2 (00:03:35) - ok good
Speaker 2 (00:03:37) - And then trades, mainly construction, have got like a secondary skin on top of that down here. They have a phrase in Australia, which you may have heard when you were here, was, um, she'll be right. So it's like, just no matter what happens, she'll be right mm-hmm. <affirmative> and it, it can, it can mean everything from, you know, it's raining outside, we can't work that she'll be right, we'll get out there two, you know, I've cut my finger, I need to put a plaster on it and I should be right. It, it's just like a blanket term. But when it comes to mental health, it's a very ill used term. Uh, and it's putting a lot of people in danger, pretty much like the suicide rate for tradesman is through the roof down here. I'm not too sure what it's like on your side of the globe, but down here it's, it's phenomenal.
Speaker 1 (00:04:17) - Yeah. That's what I found particularly interesting. It's not as severe in the states as it is in Australia. The, the stats are different. And the other thing that I find fascinating is that now it's not a, it's not a fair comparison because there's not enough women in the trades, but because there's basically all men <laugh> primarily in the trades. Yep. The suicide rate is directly linked to the men. And the reason why I find it interesting, because the few women that I do speak to, they have this life-changing positive, amazing experience entering the trades. And I'm, and I'm not saying that like it's unicorn and butterflies and they don't have any struggles, I'm saying Yeah. Compared to a lot of the men, they seem to have more weight on their shoulders. There's, there's a, there's a clear distinction between the women I speak to and the men that I speak to in construction careers.
Speaker 2 (00:05:23) - Yeah, it's definitely, I think because women's, obviously women are getting into the trade more and it's becoming more accepting for women. Not that it, it, it never has. Like I remember being apprentice and there being female apprentices where I worked. So it's not something that's brand new over the past two or three years. So it, it's definitely, it's good to see that there's more females fill in those roles and yeah, you're definitely right. There's, and I haven't, I have thought about that recently that, you know, there's, I wonder what it is with the men that, and I think, I think doing the work that I'm doing coaching, I kind of have a bit of a rough idea. You know, women are more open to talking about those things between each other if they do have a bad day or if, you know, something happens on site and they'll talk about it with their friends or they'll open up.
Speaker 2 (00:06:08) - Whereas guys just don't. And I think that's, and I'm hoping that, that it stays that way. And, you know, women aren't in the trade for 34 years and they fall into the same trap that men have been doing, which I don't think they will. And then obviously, you know, females come with different challenges in the industry than what men do, um, with, you know, the discrimination about women being in certain trades and, you know, that whole sexism side of things that, you know, that the guys just don't deal with. But then they deal with different things from like the, I don't wanna say bullying, but the kind of like the ban aspect that most apprentices have kind of brought up with mm-hmm. <affirmative> of kind of like the resilience. This is what builds tough skin type thing. There's, there's that mentality that I hope stays and it helps build resilience in the trades. And I think that's why I know that when we spoke last time, you were talking about there's a whole lot of people not want to move into the trades on your side of the world. Yes. Um, I'm not sure what it is like here. Um, and I'm hoping that it differs. I'm like, I haven't seen a massive drop in apprentices, but I'm not a hundred percent sure
Speaker 1 (00:07:17) - We're desperate. I mean, like, literally our society is in big trouble. I mean, I'm, I'm, I'm not exaggerating, like, like Mm. Potentially the, the downfall of America because of the lack of skills, craftsmen and craftswomen and the economy is not getting any better. And when you don't have the foundation of civilization, a part of your society, not good <laugh>. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:07:49) - Well there's definitely, there's, I know that there's even some trades that are dying trades. Like I know here for instance, like, um, stone Mason, I think if you're, it's, it's stone mason. They just don't have apprentices for stone masons. Uh, you know, like back home in the uk they're kind of, there's a lot more older buildings, so they, they, that's kind of, they pass that down to generations so that, you know, they're not so much, they're not so much building with stone, but at least they have like the, the maintenance aspect. Whereas I know here if if you're a stone mason, you're like one of a very few, because, you know, Australia doesn't have that many old type buildings. Like there, there's a, there's a, there's a few, but not enough to warrant having a whole trade and apprenticeship off stone. Right. So I know that there's some certain trades and obviously that comes down to the different materials that we're, we're using in the different ingenuity aspects that are constantly evolving within the trade.
Speaker 2 (00:08:41) - You know, you're always gonna need plumbers, you're always gonna need electricians, you're always gonna need carpenters, laborers, you know, there's some trades who, as much as everyone jumps up and down about AI taking over jobs, and I think we are lucky in that way, they're still gonna need us to build shit. Yeah. For sure. Like, we're still gonna need people to build facilitation for these machines. These, you know, they're gonna need power to these. Thankfully, we, if you have a trade, it's a skill that you're always gonna have for life and you can utilize it irrespective of what's happening with the, the economy and what's taking over and, but it's, yeah. It's definitely gonna be a, an interesting couple of years moving forward.
Speaker 1 (00:09:24) - I really love what you're doing because when I entered the trades and I, you know, I had this amazing life-changing, uplifting growth, <laugh> lack of better word. Yeah. I started to look at my, you know, fellow workman and they're not miserable. Like they're, they're not happy campers. Okay. Yeah. A hundred
Speaker 2 (00:09:47) - Percent. Yes.
Speaker 1 (00:09:48) - I'm like, what, what's the disconnect? I can't see it here. And some of the things I observe in construction culture with this like imperial type of makeup, this dictator like leadership, there's not good soft skills at all. Yeah. <laugh>.
Speaker 2 (00:10:07) - No.
Speaker 1 (00:10:07) - So you identifying that and introducing mental health mindset to the construction culture and atmosphere is really important. Yes.
Speaker 2 (00:10:19) - Yeah. Well, it's the main thing that I'm now taking away from the work that I'm doing and trying to implement with the guys is it's the identity around the trade. A lot of tradesmen, their craft is their identity when it's really just a job. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> like trying to break that to them. Like, you know, guys like myself who have been in the trade since they were 14, 15, 16, and they've done it all of their life. And yes, it's, you know, it's, it's what they know, but it's like, okay, that's your trade. That's your, that's, that's your job. Who are you out with this? And that's what I'm trying to implement to my guys that, yeah, job's great, but you can get a job anywhere the next day. You know, if a site shuts down, you'll get a job somewhere else. And vice versa, if you lose a job, you get replaced straight away.
Speaker 2 (00:11:05) - Now, instead of working six, seven days, 10, 12 hours a day, which is what most trades do, you know, the their that we work are kind of crazy compared to any other work. Correct. Yes. It's EAs it's easy to see why people just identify with their trade cuz they spend the best part of their life at their job doing what they do. However, trying to get them to change their mindset on that and think like, who are you out with this job? Because the amount of people who work and don't have anything outside of their job, like there's, there's instances where guys will just keep working because they don't wanna go home to their wife because there's got strict relationships with their wife and they don't know how to deal with their wife or their kids. They don't know how to deal with their kids.
Speaker 2 (00:11:47) - So they'll spend longer at work just to get away from it. Hiding from it. It's like, right. Instead of doing that, find out why the fuck you can't have a relationship with your wife. Find out what's wrong, find out why you can't have a relationship with your kids. Cuz at the end of the day, you are working all of these hours to pay, to put a roof over your head to put food on the table to look after, to cloth. What are you doing it for? You're living to work when it should be the other way around. You should be going to work. That's your job. And then you should be looking forward to going home. You should be looking forward to your weekends. And it's breaking that mindset. Like the old school guys, you know, that's all that they know and they won't change mm-hmm. <affirmative>. But it's like, okay, if you're not gonna change and you know, I say to them like, everybody knows a grumpy trade. Someone who's who comes in. And if, if you don't, you're the fucking grumpy traded <laugh>. You don't, you'll God <laugh>,
Speaker 2 (00:12:43) - We all know them. Yep. And it's like, instead of coming here Monday to Friday, Monday to Saturday every day, and like you said, you see them, they fucking hate coming to work. Yes. But they won't change. They won't do anything different. So instead of doing that change a mindset. Change how you think about work, be grateful that you have a job, be grateful that you have these skills, that you're able to take a bundle of words and make a house a roll of cable. Empower something like just that fucking shitty negative mindset that they have. And then majority of trades wonder why they go home to a six pack and a dog. Cuz that's the only thing that they have at home. Yes, yes. And I've met so many men like that. It's just heartbreaking because coming from someone who, the whole reason I got into coaching is because I had my own mental health crisis.
Speaker 2 (00:13:29) - I was, you know, I lost a couple of mix. It really affected my mental health. And I just became this shitty, grumpy, aggressive, taking it outta my wife when I got home. Like we were always fighting and I was arguing with her and the kids would get it, they would get in between us and then, you know, I'd get on site and like, I'm just a little tiny Scotsman shouting everyone and then Scotsman. Cause I'm like, as a site manager shouting everyone. And I just got to the point where I wanted to change my life essentially. I got into coaching just to kind of help my own mental health, like my own personal development. I started to, you know, read some books. I started to listen to some audibles and start doing some personal development. And then I fell into coaching and started to learn a few things and thought, you know, there's a lot of stuff here that I was never taught as a man.
Speaker 2 (00:14:19) - Yes. Nevermind a tradesman. Yes. So then I saw the change in myself. I was able to regulate myself better on site. Like, I used to go to site, really anxious and like I'd be in the truck, on the car on the way to work and, you know, my chest would get tight and I, I, I would have like, my head would be racing. I would be able to think clearly. But then when I start to get some tools and help regulate myself, I was able to get to site, be present, and know what was going on, handle the day, and then go home and still be present for my family. And I thought, fuck. Like there's so many trades who would never know any of this coaching stuff. They would never know any of this personal development stuff. I need to give it back to them cuz there's nobody else there. I, I called up one of our local associations here, um, master builders. And I said to them, I was like, you know what, what's out there for the guys? Like, uh, I'm curious. And all they could tell me was suicide prevention and antide depression talks, which
Speaker 1 (00:15:15) - That's not enough.
Speaker 2 (00:15:17) - No. And that's what I said. I said, that's a joke. I said, both of those are definitely great topics, but if that's the only thing is we have a fucking huge gap here. Yeah. We need to have something where we're, we're helping our men five, 10 years before so that they don't have to pick up the phone. And their only option is I want to end my life. I'm like, that's, it's just not good enough. So that's kind of what I, I I took it upon myself to take what I had learnt and give it back to what I had known all my life and trying to make some sort, sort of impact so that the guy's mental health, their personal development, their relationships with the family, with themselves, like they just, there's more to life than just work, work, work. Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (00:16:00) - <affirmative>. Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (00:16:01) - <affirmative>. That's kind of where I'm I'm at now. Well,
Speaker 1 (00:16:04) - I love where you're at right now. And not only do I wanna see you reach out to men, I wanna see you reaching out to the construction companies and implementing soft skills in the culture of the companies starting from the top down because yeah, the, the conditions that a lot of the craftsmen and crafts women have to work in are horrific and ridiculous. And I think it's absolutely mind boggling, insane how you have Google and Microsoft and Apple giving, like their employees who sit at a desk all day and toil away on a computer lunch and they have, uh, ping pong and gaming rooms and we can't even get clean facilities. That's insane. Especially because I don't think people really understand the value of what tradesmen and trades women do. If you're not living in a third world country or if you've never been to a third world country, you really don't get that.
Speaker 1 (00:17:09) - We are the foundation of civilization. Like true poverty, real poverty, no electric, no water brings out the worst in humans. And when I was with my coworkers, you know, I'm coming into work, I, I would come in and I'm so excited, where am I? Go learn today. This is so awesome. And after a while I would annoy the hell out of them because they'd be like, you are new to this. You don't even know how hard this can get. Like, you're obnoxious with your little, uh, taggar attitude. <laugh>. And, and they were basically telling me like, no, you just haven't been in the trade long enough. And I go, no, I just don't think you understand how amazing you are. I don't, I think you guys don't understand your value. I go, you're, you're like fucking athletes and you're brilliant. I see the tools as an extension of your body. I wanna move like that. I wanna be able to work like that. I, I'm so impressed. It's beautiful. It's, it's absolutely beautiful. And then the guys kind of like changed their attitude and they were like, oh, okay. <laugh>, I guess we've got got
Speaker 2 (00:18:19) - On rock stars. We're superheroes. Yeah,
Speaker 1 (00:18:21) - We're superheroes. Yes. I just like, it's like what you're talking about, changing that mindset about your work environment.
Speaker 2 (00:18:28) - Yeah. That's, that that's what it is. And you, and you hit on a point now where it's, it's needs to start from the, the top down. And what I have been finding when I, like, I've literally spent the last, all of last year anyway. Um, and the, the most part so far this year, reaching out to companies and per my services forward and what, not all of them, but the most of what I get is, oh, we don't have time for that or bullshit. Um, or we'll get back to you. Or are we, we, one I did have recently was our, we, um, we take care of that in house. And I was like, oh yeah, that's awesome. Good. Um, just interested. I was like, what is it that you, um, what is it that you're doing for you guys? Like what is it you're implementing for the trades?
Speaker 2 (00:19:09) - Just so that I can get a, you know, a bit of a heads up on what's working. And the response I got was, um, uh, oh, that's private. We keep that in house, which is called for we don't do fucking anything. Right. But we don't want you to come in. Yeah. It's a barrier that I seem to be hitting when it's either they don't have the time or what I'm also finding is there's a huge disconnect between the office, like the head, head office, right. And then the site office and the guys on the site. Yes. The guy, the the ones in office don't see that there's an issue. I actually, I I, I had that, um, like somebody comment and said, oh, there's not an issue in the industry. And I'm like, what fucking industry are you looking at then? Because you're not looking at the same one that I'm looking at.
Speaker 2 (00:19:51) - Right. And yeah, there's the disconnect from top down and you know, it, it comes in with obviously the, the budgets. It comes in with the, um, the timetables. It comes in with all of that. And it's like, yeah, I get it. You know, construction is a business, but without the lower level guys, you top guys don't have fucking shit. Like, you don't have nothing, you don't have anyone to build your stuff. You don't have the guys to implement your, your services. You don't have the, you know, you pretty much, your little timetable on your laptop doesn't run if you don't have your trades. And if you don't look after your trades, then that's when you run into problems. So it's, the industry as a whole needs a fucking overhaul. Like big
Speaker 1 (00:20:28) - Time
Speaker 2 (00:20:28) - Just all over. I, I recently went to the expo here in Sydney and they have all different types of stages and it infrastructure and innovation like stage where they're talking about all these new things, how they're gonna build all these massive high-rise stuff and how they're gonna build this quickly and 3D printing. And then you've got like environment stage where they're gonna build all these things, carbon neutral and all this stuff. And then they have this tiny, tiny, tiny little stage for wellness. And I'm like, without that tiny, tiny little stage, if your men being not wanting to commit suicide, the rest of this all goes, you can all sit in your offices and you can all design all of this stuff and, you know, think of faster, better, smarter ways to, to work. But unless you have your guys on the ground who are fit able physically and mentally right. To come and do the work and you're not just churning them out as fucking slaves, it all means nothing. But unfortunately to some of them, you know, the US guys and the lower level are just numbers. And I think without the, the mental health stuff and the wellness starting from the top tier, they're never gonna understand what it is for the guys in the lower end. So yeah, it's uh, definitely an overhaul.
Speaker 1 (00:21:44) - Yeah, for sure. But I think that they don't wanna understand because by keeping the guys, you know, under their thumbs so to speak, there's a very big difference between salary and hourly. Right. The the people Yeah. In the office of construction there, there's a huge financial difference. And they push the guys so hard. They, they're manipulative, they use men's ego against them. They'll say things like, well, Jimmy Bean can get that done by himself. He doesn't need an extra hand. Why can't you, when it's totally unsafe to have one worker do that job, but they'll put that pressure on so they'll save that money paying the extra worker. And then you're putting your life at risk and then you feel threatened, if I don't take that, somebody else will take the job. So I keep wanting to kind of shake my guys because I'm like, well, in the US we might not have such a high suicide rate as in Australia, but the guys are still miserable. And we definitely have a huge deficit in people in trade careers. So that being said, do not understand the power that we hold. Like stop taking the shit, stop saying yes to things that you know are unsafe. Ask for more money. Guess what? They fucking need us. They need us. Exactly. Demand it. We deserve it. <laugh>.
Speaker 2 (00:23:12) - Yeah. There's, there's, that's it. It's in, its conditioned in with everything that they've been taught prior. Right?
Speaker 1 (00:23:18) - Right. They've
Speaker 2 (00:23:19) - Taught this and that, so they know it's like, yeah, that's it. It's, and, and you know, especially with the young apprentices coming up, they don't know what they don't know. So they're only getting told by the guys who were told by the guys who were told by the guys. Right. And it, and it goes on and it takes someone to come in and, and shake it up. I know for me, when my kids came along, I stopped doing some of the stupid dangerous shit that I used to do as a young carpenter or like, you know, scaling scissor lifts and ha standing on the handrail and Right. Scaffolds and just, just stupid shit like that, that at the time I didn't think anything of it was kind, you just get to get the job done. Soon as my girls come along, I wouldn't do fucking nothing.
Speaker 2 (00:23:57) - I would just, I, I would always think of, I would always double think and I would never ask anybody when I moved into a site manager or uh, site foreman role, I would never ask anybody to do anything I wouldn't do. Moving into that role as a site manager, I actually opened my eyes to some of the risks of other people, other trades because I was looking after other trades. Like when I was just a carpenter, it was just me. Right. When I moved into site manager's roles, you know, I had air conditioning guys, I had electricians, I had pulmon, I'd say some of the risks they would take and I'd just, I would stop like, no, it's not happening. Oh, but boss, I said, I don't give a fuck. No. If your boss has an issue, tell 'em to fool me. Like, it's just not worth that extra five, that quick five minutes to do something.
Speaker 2 (00:24:35) - Yeah, no. Something when like, I was like, do you want to go home at night? Yeah. I hear boss and I used to have guys here and they would say, oh, you know, this is, we do this every day. I'm like, ah-huh. Until the day that you don't do it because you fucking fall off your scaffold or you fall off the off you fall off the roof. Cause you don't have a harness on. Right. It's like you can do it every day until then. I says, and then who's gonna go home to your family? And then that's when, you know, you need to have those hard hit and no BS conversations when it comes to safety as well as mental health. Being a coach, you're gonna be hated before you're gonna be loved because, you know, there's a lot of bullshit that the guys have done mentally mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (00:25:12) - <affirmative>, like they're programming their environment that they've been in and they don't want to hear it. Like, nobody wants to be told that what they're doing is wrong or not beneficial to them. Right. Especially when it comes to how they are. Like their ego, male ego is fucking off the charts. Yeah. So <laugh> as a coach, try trying to get through the guys and tell them like, you know, you've been doing this for so long, you think maybe you're doing something wrong. You have that cycle. If you drink your way joy every week or you not making smart decisions when it comes to like, you know, the, the women that you're dating or you know, you're not seeing your kids or the money that you're spending, you have to be an asshole and point out these things to them with love and with care and then help them change. It's the same throughout whole industry when it comes to the safety aspect. When it comes to like the, maybe instead of drinking, I don't know, what if it's a huge culture in, in America, I think it would be. But here the energy drinks is like a stake on this. Oh yeah. See guys in the service station at like six o'clock in the morning grabbing a six pack of Monster.
Speaker 4 (00:26:15) - Monster. Yes. <laugh>. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:26:18) - And it's like,
Speaker 4 (00:26:19) - Yes. It's like pure and I and I acid <laugh>. I've
Speaker 2 (00:26:22) - Been there like I have been there, like when I used to drink, when a site manager, I used to drink like seven coffees a day. Yeah. As well as I would. And I've been there, like I, I can't not preach not to do it, but it's just, if you were to implement with the guys a better diet for one or not go into the pub every single night, you probably wouldn't need the V to or the, the monster to kick you up in the morning. It's like just changing these little incremental things within the, the mentality, their, their diet, just their outlook on life in general would then make them take these bigger changes. And, you know, they would, they wouldn't go to the pub every single night and rather than going home straight away. Right. Or, you know, they would probably think, you know what, I deserve a weekend.
Speaker 2 (00:27:05) - I'm gonna only work five days this week instead of the six. Or, you know, I'm gonna work eight hours instead of the 10 or the 12. It's definitely a hard one to get across because it's been that conditioning for so long. Yes. That this is the way it is, this is the way it is. And it's like, yeah, this is the way it is. Until you have nine men a day committing suicide in construction. Like, because they got, they, they think that's their only way out rather than fixing themself rather than saying, okay, this isn't working for me anymore, or why do I keep doing this? Or why do I have these thoughts? Or why do I have these feelings? They just want to end their life because that's the easiest way in their heads that they can deal with it. Nevermind your self worth.
Speaker 2 (00:27:46) - You have your family, you have your friends, you have those around you who you leave a huge fucking void in their life. If you just decide that's the only way. Rather than saying, okay, I'm tired of this, I want to do better, I need to do better. What can I do help start with a simple conversation and that, and that's all it is. It's about implementing that and getting that across to the guys. And that's why I just keep turning up and keep turning up and just put myself out there because I have been there, I have been one of those guys where running on caffeine, taking work home and taking the home struggles back into work and just being in like amster wheel of just shitty negative emotion and just, but just doing it because it was just like, oh, I just need to get it done. Just need to get it done. Just need to get it done. And at some point the wheels come off.
Speaker 1 (00:28:32) - Yes. Yes. Well, this is another reason why I'm firmly convinced that by having more females in the trade, it will change the environment and create more of a positive environment. And the reason I say this is because women tend to be more nurturing. So while a guy will be, you know, if something's not safe or they're willing to risk it, the the woman will be the first one to go, no, no, no, no, no, no. Come let's no, no. That's not worth your life. Let's, let's do this together. Yeah. And then the guy is more willing to work with the woman because she's not threatening him. It's, it's clear that it's out of concern. It's not threatening his masculinity. Yeah. As opposed to if another guy was like, no, no, no, no, no. <laugh>. Yeah. It's a different dynamic. Right. My, uh, girl girlfriend of mine, uh, she's a steam feder and like for lunch, she'll bring in like a pot Glock for the guys boiled chicken and broccoli. And they just, this is how she connects to them. They look at her as like a mother hen and they love working with her because she brings this kind of really team oriented protecting one another. She's always got the tie in all. She's always got the band aids, you know, <laugh>.
Speaker 2 (00:29:52) - Yeah. O one of the companies that I have had coaching the so electrical company, um, and it's a female owner and she has guys who have been with her for not 10, 20 years. And they don't have a bad word to say about her because, you know, she's, she's willing to, she'll push them hard, don't get me wrong. Like, of course she doesn't take no bullshit, but she also, she has that time for them, you know, she's more empathetic, I guess to, to what they've got going on. Empathetic and yeah, definitely speaks, speaks, speaks volumes that, you know, in such a, a rough and ready industry that you have this lady who runs, you know, she's got best part of 25 guys I think huge projects throughout the universities here and all over, but the guys actually have the time for her.
Speaker 1 (00:30:44) - Ever since I stepped into uh, trades, I just, I'm in awe of what the men are capable of. It's, I it's so impressive. It's really just, I'm amazed by them and it breaks my heart. It literally breaks my heart that they don't see it and that they're so unhappy. It's not supposed to be that way.
Speaker 2 (00:31:10) - It's not. And I think when, when we spoke last night, you were telling me that they, you know, the trades in the US are looked down upon
Speaker 1 (00:31:17) - Very much so, but it's not,
Speaker 2 (00:31:18) - Whereas here, here in the uk it, it's not. And I don't know if I'm saying that because it's, it's all I've known and I have the respect from my fellow tradesmen and I have seen the respect, but I, yeah, I I definitely don't think it's as bad as it was is in the us and I think that's, that's maybe like the problem of it. Like, you know, men's Yes. Self worth, the switch between ego and self worth, like is is just it, it's crazy that ego can take over but they don't have any worth in themselves. And it's, you know, and that's all stuff that stems from, you know, how they were brought up, the environment they were brought up in, but then that leads into manhood and adulthood. But you know, it's not looked down upon to join a trade here, even though obviously we have all of like the universities and office jobs and stuff like that. Um, so yeah, it's quite disheartening to hear when you said that that, you know, in the US it's not the, it's not the favorite job to go into where it's like, at the end of the day, if you don't have trade, you don't have shit. Like nothing works. Right.
Speaker 1 (00:32:15) - Exactly. And
Speaker 2 (00:32:16) - That's, I, I found that real when you told me that. I was like, that's fucking ludicrous. Like, it it
Speaker 1 (00:32:20) - Is, it is. And in the US I mean, they will treat tradesmen and tradeswomen like they are lower class. Like they, like they are in somehow lacking as though you, you couldn't cut it in college. Like that's the, that's the interpretation. Yeah. And I'm sure that affects one's belief in their self-worth. You know, you're, you're working, you're providing, and, and then people are looking at you like you're less than or beneath them and not respecting Yeah. What you're contributing to the community. That's terrible. So we might not have as high of a suicide rate, but we have just as equally devastating demeaning culture in
Speaker 2 (00:33:06) - Construction. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:33:08) - A lot of people think construction workers are stupid, which is totally like not common sense. Even if you break down what they're doing.
Speaker 2 (00:33:17) - Like where, where does that mentality come from?
Speaker 1 (00:33:20) - Media in the 1950s, 1960s, actually I think it was the 1960s when we had this huge push for college. They started to drum up, you know, they wanted people to, uh, get scholarships and get loans and, you know, really push collegiate. Yeah. Yeah. So that makes, right then it was this flip flop of, oh, well if you're working with your hands, if you're blue collar, that's because you can't use your mind to become white collar. You can't elevate yourself. And then they start dishing out, you know, like the Simpsons working in a power plant, drinking beers. Basically the media started to present that working in trades, you know, um, having, uh, a plumber come to the house and their crack is showing and things of this nature. So it's deme. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:34:09) - Yeah. Okay.
Speaker 1 (00:34:10) - And then the society took on that image. I love asking this analogy because we are in construction of careers. What tool is in your tool belt? Meaning what's something that you've carried with you that has always helped you accomplish your goals? And because what you're doing is so impactful in so many ways, it would mean so much. If you could share with us some recommendations of tangible things guys can do to help move them forward to help change their mindsets, what tools could they use to help get them to a better place?
Speaker 2 (00:34:52) - The two main ones that I preach to my trades and solely because they're two that help me out of my dark spot. One is, I think called box breathing. It's a simple breathing exercise. You breathe in for four seconds, hold for four seconds, breathe out for four seconds, hold for four seconds and then start over again. I used to do this on my way to work, or I used to do this in between meetings or emptying jobs. When everything's just run around, rush around in your head and you're thinking about a million things, like, you know, I've loaded enough concrete, do I have the sparkies coming? Like just day to day stuff that just has your mind racing. Uh, and for me, I used to get really bad anxiety. So I used, used to get anxiety attacks on the way to work before I found this.
Speaker 2 (00:35:42) - And just sitting and doing this either in traffic or stopping and just sitting at your desk and doing it, it slows the heart rate down, it clears the brain fog. It's one of the things that the, um, US special forces use. They train their guys to do this. So in like combat situations and stressful situations, this is one of their main things. So they can think clearer. You do it up four or five times, it just slows everything down. It just like the heart rate drops, the brain fog clears and you're able to think clearly and process for the rest of the day what's going on. That's one of the main ones. And then the second one is very similar, but it's meditation. Oh. So yes, before I go to work in the morning, if I don't do the box breathing, I'll do five minutes meditation.
Speaker 2 (00:36:28) - And it's not like pull out a yoga mat and sitting in a lots position in the hands out, <laugh> sitting in your truck. <laugh> literally, I, I, I've, I've pulled up to sight and just been felt like, felt like shit, didn't wanna go to work, just hated where I was and I've just sat in my truck, closed my eyes. And you can either listen to guided meditations on YouTube or you know, I have some that I can, I give to guys, sit with yourself, your thoughts. Just try and clear everything as much as possible, but you just present with yourself before you get home. One of the main ones I try and preach to the guys is I have a, a rule that's called, um, take a take your your boots and shit and leave them at the door. So at night before you go home, before you walk through the door and you take off your boots or your tool bag in the truck, stop five minutes to yourself so that you can collect yourself, be present with yourself, and you're not taking the shit from site into your house.
Speaker 2 (00:37:26) - And I'm saying this from a position because this is what I used to do, right? I would go home, sit down at the dinner table, still be thinking about something at work. My wife would ask me something and I would like lose it and bark at her. And uh, you know, she said to me many times, I'm not one of your fucking guys on site. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And for me that was a huge, um, go in, be present with your wife, with your kids, with your partner, whoever it is that's there. And then on the flip side of that, in the morning before you put your boots on, whatever's happened the night before, don't take that to work. And if you can have that separation from the troubles at work and walking in the door at night and being dad, husband, wife's part, whatever it is, that clear difference will make all of the difference essentially. So they're three, they're the three main ones that tools that I have learned the hard way, but now want to implement. And I still do them. Like, so I have my, my girls seven days a week and then mom has them seven days a week cuz we're separated. So in the morning, trying to get three girls out to school before work is fucking crazy. I would take a,
Speaker 5 (00:38:30) - I can imagine
Speaker 2 (00:38:32) - I would take a of four. So
Speaker 1 (00:38:38) - Yes, once
Speaker 2 (00:38:39) - All of that craziness of getting the shoes on, getting the lunchbox, getting the hair brush, getting them out to site, to to school, I stop before I even go anywhere to site, I'll stop at the side of the road and I'll just either do the box breathing or the meditation so that when I get to site, I know I'm thinking clear. Mm-hmm. If I get to a meeting or a coaching session, I know I'm clear, I'm present. My mind's not running away. You know, they, they seem like really simple stupid things to do, but they have such fucking huge impact on your, your brain clarity, your, your heart rate, your anxiety, huge impact.
Speaker 1 (00:39:17) - I agree with you completely. I used to think of meditation was woowoo nonsense, and then I started to do it in the way that you just described it. So not the mat and the the like, you know, sitting in lotus and everything, just quietly sitting and focusing on my breathing. That's how it began. And then I started to see huge improvements in clarity, in anxiety, in my mood. I, I was shocked. So I a hundred percent agree. I know how impactful it is. But it's about getting the guys to see how impactful those small steps are. And by saying things like, it's simple. So if you think it's fufu and it's so simple, then why wouldn't you just try it?
Speaker 2 (00:40:09) - Yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:40:10) - Just give it a shot. You've got nothing to lose. Right.
Speaker 2 (00:40:13) - Yeah. And one of the main ones that when, you know, I, I say meditation to people and they kind of like, especially with trade is a scuff nose. Yes. The guy, the guy who taught me my meditation used to be a brick player many moons ago. He's actually a nine Dan black belt.
Speaker 1 (00:40:29) - Wow.
Speaker 2 (00:40:30) - And he preaches meditation. So you can come with me and you can tell him it's woo if you <laugh><laugh>. But again, it's, it's, it's the, the mindset thing. It's, it's, it's not weak to do any of these things. That's one of the main things. Correct. The whole phrase. It's not weak to speak. It's a hundred percent true. And I think it's actually, it's more of a weakness to let yourself go and not speak and just give up on yourself than actually resonate and say, okay, I actually need to do something here.
Speaker 1 (00:41:05) - Yes.
Speaker 2 (00:41:06) - And like I have a, a quick four stage thing that I preach to the guys of how you change and it's awareness, ownership, education and accountability. So you need to be aware that something's not working for you. Like you need to actually be switched on enough to say, you know, your diet's not great or you're moody all the time, or you know, you're having those bad thoughts that you shouldn't. And then take ownership, like, take ownership of it and say, right, okay, fuck this. I need to do something. You know, it may be the situation that you're in, it's not your fault, but it's your fault that you're not doing anything about it. Yes. And it could be in a bad relationship or you could be in a bad work, you know, a toxic work place of work or your finances are fucked, might not be your fault, but it's your fault if you don't take ownership of it and do something about it.
Speaker 2 (00:41:55) - And then thirdly, get the education. We live in a world where information is of abundance. It's on our hand, it's in our pocket. We've got fucking mobile phones that will tell us everything. There's no reason why people can't find the information for themselves. And I'm not talking about Dr. Google who's gonna tell you you diamond. Like not that, not that type of information. <laugh>, it's like, there's so many YouTube videos you can watch on things like meditation, things like why am I stressed? They're the three. But then the final one is Aunt Billy, getting someone, a coach, a mentor, a men's group, uh, you know, a a women's peer group somewhere where somebody's gonna hold you accountable. We're all well and good at doing all of those things ourself, but we'll, it's always, I'll do that tomorrow or I'll do that tomorrow. Whereas if you have someone holding you accountable, then you're not gonna, you're gonna be more inclined to actually do the things that you say you're gonna do to help improve yourself because you kind of owe it to them. Or you feel like, you know, they're gonna ask me and I'm gonna have to come up with some excuse, blah, blah. But once you've made awareness, taking ownership, got the education, and you have someone accountable, you'll see huge changes because it's just inevitable. You're, you, you're moving in a path of change. Like you can't, once you've come to that realization, you can't go back.
Speaker 1 (00:43:15) - Yeah. I think that putting those things in place will prevent failure. So Coach Chewy, tell everyone where they can find you.
Speaker 2 (00:43:28) - I'm everywhere. Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn. So Instagram is r and w d Huey, coach to the tradies. Uh, Facebook is Aaron, William Daniel Huey. I have a double barrel name and I like to use it. <laugh>, um, I got given it for a reason. Yes. At LinkedIn. Same thing. R W D Q E. And then my website is WW dot hustle talk coaching. Actually I've just changed it. Hustle talk coaching.com.
Speaker 1 (00:43:57) - Wonderful. Wonderful.
Speaker 2 (00:43:59) - And yeah, please reach out even if it's just a chat, just ask me some questions or if you do actually want to make a change, then yeah, let's talk.
Speaker 1 (00:44:08) - Yeah. It's really important to have coaches like you accessible because like you said, even though the information is out there, it's hard to determine what is accurate and what's not. And when you have somebody who's been through it before, like you, who understands where they're coming from, who's lived it, you can really help guide someone to the places they wanna go.
Speaker 2 (00:44:33) - Yeah. And especially within trades, they, they will not go to a doctor or a clinician or a psychologist.
Speaker 1 (00:44:39) - No fucking way, because
Speaker 2 (00:44:40) - Just don't resonate with them. They will not resonate with them. So I'm hoping that people hear my story, they hear that I've been there, I've done all that shit. The clinician, the, the doctors, the medication. I can come from a place of honesty like this is what it is. And also I've seen what happens if you don't. Right. Like I've seen guys who weren't able to get the help and where it takes them and it's not spot you want to go to.
Speaker 1 (00:45:05) - Yeah, no, definitely not. Thank you so much for being here with me. I am so happy. Happy. Took the time. <laugh>. All right. I hope to speak to you soon.
Speaker 2 (00:45:19) - Likewise. I love what you're doing with the podcast. Keep it up, I enjoy listening to them and yeah, lets do this again. Yes.