SPACE PIRATES D&D #7 | "Gingerbread Kaiju"

Hello, everyone, Welcome to episode seven of Space Pirates, Dungeons and Dragons. This is very exciting because in the last episode I said that people sent me hate mail about these intro one liners. I'm happy to announce that in response to that, I got a bunch of people saying, bring.

The back counter arguments. So what we're going to do is we're gonna try again. It's just it's always happy with something.

If these are not good, I might have to crowdsource the future ones. I might have to do like a Google form and you guys submit. But I've gone for a different approach. Which one who wants to go first?

I don't know.

Okay, I'll do Teching. Then I'm here with Teching. He's playing Crag Teching. Teching lives in the middle of nowhere, America. That means his time zone is different to ours. So whilst it's nine pm here for Teching, it's eighteen forty two.

That's how you doing. That's very good. That was better than the first one. I like that. I tried. We live simple. We live in the simple country kind of lifestyle here. We only got one Walmart and we we love that Walmart.

Okay, I'm also here with Suavity playing Sigma Hello. I was once visiting Mark but I didn't have my phone or anywhere to tell the time, so instead I decided to check the local football scores. I noticed that solly Hole was losing two nils, so it must have been five past three.

Okay, all right, Yeah, that's a that's a really good that's a really good reference to the small national league team.

This is a very specific reference.

It requires people to know that football games start at three pm. So the idea is that you've you've gone to nil down five minutes into the game.

It's cover.

Okay, it's very good.

I do like that.

I'm now I'm not worried about whatever you're going to say about me. Now we've established a level. It's not that okay. Connor Quest is here playing Novena. Connor Quest.

He's released many four length albums, and he's won awards, not once, not twice, not three times. That's right, none at all?

Okay, not true, won the Best Lyricist of the Nerd Chord Choice Awards.

Or whatever I call you.

Also you also won well okay, your albums didn't want but you want Stevie.

Yeah, I was talking about your albums specifically. I'm also here with Josh Hayes playing Rick Plan. Josh had to move the last session as he was attending a Ruinscape event. Old Grindy with its glory days behind it.

Josh D.

Hayes is with us today. Good yeah, yeah, yeah, joints grind because it's true. Alright, I like this time.

Yeah, I can't do this every week, Okay, I will crowd from the next one.

So next time we will, I'll put it in like a discord.

Maybe I'll put a tweet out, have people send in their own and then I will use those and thatfore, if they're bad, we could just blame that person.

Yeah there, Yeah, you can name and shame them.

Yeah, people giving them a ten out of ten. Thanks guys, we're getting I'm getting actual highly rated.

You know what. It feels good. It feels good to do something with my life.

That's enough about you, all right, we'd last session, they had finally infiltrated the palace of Kaiser, talked to Kaiser, then they killed They got roly Poly to kill him.

This they've come back into the palace.

They've talked to Princess Marsey Pan but In the process of this, Duke roly Poly has come in. Everything's fallen apart. They are now fighting Duke roly Poly. A giant gingerbread dragon is heading hurtling towards the Throne room. You can see it behind the chattered stained glass. On the back of the giant gingerbread dragon is a ashkar wielding a giant flaming hammer. And that is where we left the last session on that cliffhanger of the ginger.

Think that'll be relevant. That'll probably not be relevant, yeah, which would not bring it up for the rest of the session.

He just the dragon flies over the city and goes somewhere else.

Just go somewhere else. Okay.

Princess Marzipan, it's her turn to begin here, and she is just going to hide. I don't know if she rolled stealth before, but she's going to do it properly this time. She got an eight, so she's not hidden,

Yeah, that's right.

I don't want to probably look out the window and say, crumbs, crumbs. She's probably gonna, honestly, just try and not think about that for the moment and deal with what is actively in.

Front of just actively in front of you. Okay, yeah, she.

Is probably going to run over to the night.

Oh yeah, there.

So there's one night, the one that was communicating with the ashcar.

So you run over the night and he goes, yeah, oh, why are you towards me? Is it?

Sorry about this? I think I can bonus action focus point to dash, yeah, and then I and then I still have my two attacks.

Yeah, yeah, okay, go ahead.

Yes, I think I'm going to do my my regular two attacks.

Great, great, I mean a sixteen hit scene and a twelve does not hit the six the sixteen hits does not hit sixteen. Does that we'll do eight damage to him with Okay, so the first one, I mean, what are you. Okay, okay, how are you attacking him? How are you ship shifting your body?

I think I think we're gonna we're gonna a classic bulbous You do like the bulbs, but I do find it bloody that you have the ability to change into anything. And I think eighty percent of the time you go bulb It's like, what's going to do the most damage? I think I think bulbous crush, you know, especially especially with someone in armor. You know, there's no point making a sword because if he's in armor, it's gonna be it's just gonna slide right off him.

Okay, so you smash, it's gonna kill him. So how do you want to kill him? Unless you want to knock him out?

Yeah? Oh my god, oh go oh god.

Is this gonna be the first time Vina kills someone.

In her life. There's a bit right here. It's up to you. He does just you do.

Just approach him, and he looks like just a regular candy night. He looks down at you, his eyes glistening with fear.

So's he got a helmet on.

He's taken the helmet off dramatically as you approached him. His hair is waving in the winds. Yeah, please.

Don't do it. He's just his friend blown by the way. Pocket's just blown his friend up.

He's gonna she's gonna swoon a little, his inherent beauty. He missed the second attack, but yeah, I think she's just gonna just gonna swing across the jaw and knock him out.

Knock him out. Okay.

Yeah.

He closes his eyes as you swing, and he goes, thank you for sparing my life. And you smack him across the face and send him through the wall.

Ah.

Just fucking candy teeth everywhere.

Oh yeah, it is now the ashcar's turn. Who's on the back of the gingerbread Dragon. He's quite far out at the moment, and he sees this gingerbread mech approach him and the dragon, and he pours out his flaming hammer and he roars and he says, I am Rock, brother of Rack, and I have come here to conquer the candy Kingdom. And he is going rock his rock and r h oh brother of Rack, brother of Rack.

That's his that's his full name.

He's going to leap off the back of the gingerbread Dragon in a triumphant style, and bring his flaming hammer down upon the gingerbread mech.

Oh, yeah, do we have any sort of idea what he's gonna miss?

Like health?

Even is you have no clue, It doesn't matter, It's just I mean, I guess it will hit against the gingerbread Mech but do no damage. But he's now landed on the gingerbread Mech's shoulder, and he looks up a little bit of fear in his stony eyes. His Pocket's turn. Pocket looks up at you, Rick Plan and goes.

What do you need me to do?

Captain? Okay, I'm going to be honest with you.

I think I've just seen Vienna nearly kill a man, which means we are royally fucked. Oh she's never killed anyone. The fact that somebody had to die right now, my goodness of Pocket, I'm not going to lie. We might be in a little bit of trouble. Pocket, I'm going to ask you a very simple question. What do you think we should do?

Ah? I think we should steal shit and run away once. I'm I might be with you on this one.

So I think the first thing and the most important thing to do is to get everyone away from where this fight is going on, Dragon, massive gins, red Kaiju.

Look at us.

I don't fancy our chances, so Pocket, can you walk? Yeah, I've just he looks down at the stump. I'm just missing a hand, but don't worry.

I get for this. And he really is what I was hoping he'd say.

He reaches into his pockets and he pulls out what looks like a Swiss army knife and he just jams it on the stump that sort of screws it in, ohhazardly, and then it sort of wiggles around and like transforms it into different things.

He's like, see, I knew I was gonna blow my hand off. It was all.

We are definitely going to talk about this later because I think one of us is going to need some kind of therapy. But I'm glad that you've managed to work out this this solution.

Let's leave. I'm going to grab at the rest of the.

Guys and Novena and hopefully try and retreat to somewhere a little safer. I think Crumb's got this with the massive Kaiju chabs chabs. Could anybody hear me? I'm just kind of shouting out in general.

I'm in the.

Middle of fighting, so I'm probably not responding. Carry on, you're you're good, you're doing what you're.

Fine. He's having a great time, Navena. He's not dead, is he?

No?

Just sleeping?

Fantastic, Sigma. Have you got a moment? I suppose so, six Sigma, I need to ask you a question. I need to be honest with me, if a very direct, very honest what are we doing?

I mean, look around, Sigma.

If you'd have said to me a few years ago, Rick, one day, you're going to be in the throne room of a food based kingdom, observing a battle between a giant kai ju gingerbread man and a huge gingerbread dragon, I would have and I'm not lying to you here, questioned you.

Yet here we are, Sigma.

I believe what we're doing is following.

Your plan, you know what. That's what I was hoping you wouldn't say. That's why I was holding that more than the answer. How about I don't admit this often. How about we leave the room and then take a quick, quick, quick recess, quick.

Break, work out what we're doing.

You can't time for that, oh, Crag, he's fighting.

For his life. Crag doesn't even know there's another fight going on. He's so distracted. I can leave, Navna. Are you ready to leave quickly? With the door doors open?

Should I not help? Crag Crag?

Do you need help?

I don't know.

I also don't think the door's open. Well it might be. I guess they slammed the door open.

Yeah, I beg you couldn't open that door.

I would like to give I would like to give Crag bartic inspiration by shouting that out to you.

It's not your turn, right, yeah, looking, can you carry on? Defer defer the Bardic inspiration to pocket that? Then if you can survive the next five turns? Yes, all right, my days.

Okay, you're saying all this stuff about taking a break and stuff, but pocket is actually a turn to you wreck and say, actually, Rick, I wanted to ask about you. You're a criminal, just like me. We're all criminals here, but you keep talking.

About only in the very legal sense.

I am right, But you keep talking about like helping people and setting things right, and I mean, why not just do it our own way?

Steal stuff? You know, live a good life, pocket.

There are many reasons one lives a life the way they do. The morals, ideology, circumstance or personal ideology, reflection, desire, lust, whether that is for the flesh or for the treasure, the hunt that Ernie. I think that we try and leave this place, i'd be better than when we found it. And Pocket, I'll level with you, if you look around this room right now, I don't think it's better than when we found it.

Well, I mean, he looks around, he sees Duke roly Poly, he sees the gingerbread dragon, and he goes.

I mean, I know how we can make it better than when we found it.

Pocket, I'm willing at this point to listen to you because it is and I cannot state this enough.

Your turn. Hester.

He pours out his gun and he says this world would be a better place without Duke roly Poly in it, and he.

Will fire the gun. Sixteen does. Thank god. I thought you were going to shoot yourself a place without me. I don't want to live in a world with Duke. I was trying with that for a second.

No, in that case, good luck I'd like to give I can't give him.

That. As a reaction the gun, the bullet, the blast flies through the air and strikes the duke on his side, and he looks round and he looks at Pocket and he.

Goes, jelly bead, jelly baby, you are the worst trader of the ball, tears in his eyes.

I actually don't think he realizes that Pocket took over jelly babies like persona. I think he thinks Pocket was jelly Baby the whole time, his whole life. Remember when we were younger, we used to play in the field jelly baby.

We used to do so both together. And now you with Crag it is your turn. I turned to the duke because he looked over at part and I'm like, Hi, you're fighting me. You're in Crags jail now, and I bring down. I am huge, still using you like ashcar fire magic. I'm gonna try to hit him this time because I had all this cool stuff last time and it just didn't hit. So I swear to God, please hit damn it. Wow, you cannot hear it. Crags jail now? Whoa, he's so fast he's avoiding me.

You're in a jail of your own creation, my friend.

It is spud Russets turn. Are you doing anything else?

Very very frustrated, I mean like no, yeah, no, I just I use a bonus action to yell in frustration and rage.

Okay, spud Russet's turn.

He's by the throne that's been destroyed, and it's that's why all the disco music is playing. He doesn't know what to do in himself, but he is near Sigma and he looks over the thrown at Sigma and goes, are we doing anything about that dragon?

So is the window that we can see the dragon? Is that behind us, like near the.

Thrown or is it throne? You can scroll up, so.

The closest so the closest people to.

This dragon on me and spurred yes, I think that we are perhaps underqualified to fight the dragon, my friend.

I'm under qualified for all of this, I'll be honest. But it hasn't stopped you from putting me in these situations.

Nonsense.

Perhaps we should move to the other side of the room so as not to be in the.

Right line of fire.

Okay, he's gonna dash and just go behind one of the pillars on the other side of the room.

That's his turn.

It is now sud the gingerbread dragons turn. So the gingerbread dragon has turned his attention towards the gingerbread mech because they've like they've gotten in each other's eye lines.

Oh they are on the map. I didn't scroll up. Yeh shit, this is a real thing.

Now.

The gingerbread dragon flies towards the mech, claws outstretched it. It's going to bring them down upon the mech. Two claw attacks, one bite attack, everything hits. He's doing a total of thirty two thirty two, yeah, thirty two damage on the gingerbread mech, and he's wrapping it apart, spitting out all this like this gingerbread flying everywhere. It's probably like the breeze of gingerbread are spearing through buildings, et CETERA.

Question about the bite attack, yes, can the dragon consume the gingerbread man? Does he have the required level on the planet to eat him?

Yeah, the dragon has like the highest it should probably should as it as it swallows some of the gingerbread.

You see his card display above its head, and it says level seven level.

It was gonna be like that was gonna be like a hundred or something ridiculous.

And so just to confirm seeing it absolutely terror part that gingerbread mech, I think we can all safely assume that. Yeah, this thing is gonna one shut us.

In this room.

It can it will just do that. I'm not even like, not even knock out. It will kill everybody. Yes, yeah, it is the Duke's turn.

Uh the duke.

It is obviously fighting you crag, but because you've missed him so many times, it almost.

Does a threat.

And I think he cares more about his the man who betrayed his trust.

That's fair, That's totally fair.

So he's gonna create a jam roly poly on the ground and he's going to roll it forcefully towards Pocket.

That's fine, But do I get an opportunity attack? No, he's not moving, he's just attacked. He's just doing a range attack. He is just an attack.

So he rolls it towards Pocket, and Pocket just gracefully jumps over the top of it and like does a flip and then flips him off.

I guess goes.

And actually I think Pocket might even like get into the character of jelly Baby and be like, yeah, when we were kids, I never liked you. That's why I fucked friends.

Like what, yeah, they always loved you.

Does he have a middle finger on the.

Oh yeah, no, Yeah, the Swiss arry.

Life just becomes it just becomes the word fuck you just written out.

Yeah, Sigma, it is now your turn.

Oh gosh, okay, I am terrified of this Dragon and Rock brother of Rack, who are piecing up the mech through the window. Everyone else does seem to have the dukes around to your I'm wondering if I can't get like a sneaky shot in.

They will say they are further away then the map suggests it's like a different zone.

How how how far would it be because pistol, you would you would be firing a disadvantage. It's it's more than that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.

If they's still that far away, then I'm not gonna bother. I'm going to try and a little bit closer to the duke.

Is there anywhere where I can hide?

Oh yeah, there's columns, There's columns and pillars, and there's also, to be fair, the crumb room that you only you know how to get into.

I'm gonna I'm gonna hide under the bed. There is bed, it's all destroyed because Crack destroyer.

I'll hide behind whatever I can.

That's like the near the crumbs room, near the crumb room, the crumb quarter.

I want to use my crumb to make a stealth check.

Okay, go ahead, you stealth behind a pillar, Cunny fourteen. It's it's not great, but I don't think Duke Duke Rody pone he sees you.

I just want to make a stealth attack against him in my blast.

Do I have advantage here?

Yes, you will have advantage here, go ahead twenty the duke nine plus eight that is going to kill him.

So how do you want to do this? Yeah, that's seventeen.

Down room behind I room behind like a pillar or whatever is on the other side of the room. And I see Craig struggling to hit this guy and as crag like, I guess, raise up his.

Like I let roar of frustration, and then his head just blows up.

I just I think I think I see him like through your legs.

Yeah right, because I'm shoot and I just need the dude like just.

Snipe him from the other side of the room.

M hm. So yeah, you see the dude just like explode.

Like the blast hits him and he looks down for a second and he goes, oh no, oh no, I don't want to die, and then he just explodes out, and bits of his body just sort of draped for the walls.

Did my ashcar magic make him explode?

Does everyone on this planet explode when they die?

Guys? Seriously? Is that a thing that I did? Or is that something you did? I need to know now that was me? Oh okay, thank you, Sigma. Where are you all right? Thank you for the assist I need to get used to my new powers. Should we what should we do about this threat? Holy shit? A dragon? I just turn around and notice the thing.

Oh you hear cond crumb over the earpiece as you say that, saying I'm on it, guys, and the gingerbread make moves.

He's on it. He's got it, guys, We're good. He's gonna punch and punch. One of them fails. One of them crit fails, probably because it's the arm that like Rock is on.

So one of them hits the dragon for thirteen damage. One of them krits fails, and I'm now gonna roll a D six. Okay, hmmm, that's just that's just that for the moment.

That's just a role. That's just I hte the dragon, guys, But it doesn't seem to.

Be like a little bit of gingerbread has fallen off the dragon, but it still looks healthy.

Rick plan, it is now your turn?

Right? Where is everyone in relation to where I'm currently standing?

Okay, I'm like a little bit away from you from the like yeah, right.

Now, this situation is you're right next to Pocket. By the front doors is Crag, the dead body of the Duke and Novena and now spud Russet as well, and then by the window is Sigma, and then far in the distance you can see a giant kayju battle happening between the gingerbread mech, a gingerbread dragon, and a ashcar man.

Right, Chaps. That situation over there, not good, not tipping it top. Ideally, we don't want to get involved in I would suggest we leave this room to another room. Don't know what's in it, but I know that that will be further away. Anyone against that idea.

I'm perfectly fine with that idea.

That's good with me.

Get Crumb out of the closet. I've actually got a question for Crumb. I'd like to lean in just quick and go, Crumb, you just punched the dragon, didn't you? Did you do anything?

He's obviously talking over the earpiece. It did hurt the dragon a little bit.

Okay, I didn't do much there, did it?

Well, there's a lot. I don't understand these controls. I'm desperately there's a I just need. I need somebody more intelligent than me to help out.

That's well, you're gonna be in luck to find someone like that around here.

Crumb. You're the best we've got right now?

Is I have an associate's degree, Boss, I mean, if you want some help, I could try to give him some help.

Someone who's got experience with tech. Crumb there with you. I think I know the answer ready, but I have to ask the question.

I took an introductory class on whatever the equivalent of Microsoft word is in this universe.

So I have that going for me. I think it's still Microsoft word. It's a very long time Captain plan. Yes, I have experience with technology.

My planed sigma right now is if he doesn't do anything good, we just pushed the big red button and see what happens.

The big red button that's next to Crumb, the yes.

Let me give it you.

The gummy bit button. You want me to press the gummy pep button?

Not yet, Crumb, We need some kind of code word for that. The code word is crumb pressed the big red button. Okay, all right, so until then, don't okay, chaps, shall we get out of this room?

First of all?

I agree, right, I would like to begin running toward the exit.

Okay, all right, run towards the wall, and I burst through it.

Cragger is not The door was right in front of me.

But I'm doing it this way.

Sprint once I've changed everyone's okay, pocket you okay with us as well?

Fuck it, Brad, we born all right? What's on?

What's on this side of the wall here?

It is not your turn? Rick plan is moving pushing through the door easier?

Can I or look at the door and there's any kind of lock or mechanism or hinge and shoot at the door already?

It's it's slightly a jar because the Duke and his knights came through, so it's kind of like slightly. You could just open it, Wick planting the door now on the other side of the door, because you guys are in the castle still there you are now, Rick Plant in a room of four guards m hm, two of which were standing near the door, and two of which were standing further away.

Thank god, I've found you. The king has been killed by a dragon. Give me a deception roll. This is a this is a pivotal deception role.

I'd like to use lucky to give myself advantage on this role.

Then great, right now you're good.

Give me an advantage deception role so you get to roll it again.

The knights who with the lucky ability?

The knights who, to be fair, they they've been you know, they don't know what the fo's happening. They hear a bunch of kerfuffle, but they've been told to just keep watch by Duke Roni Poli or whoever. And they turnally go, what about Duke is he?

Okay, chaps, I'm in here with the emissary of the Ashgar Kingdom and we're currently fighting a dragon whom has killed the king. You won't be able to tell because the king is literally inside the dragon.

Okay, I'm the emissary. Nice to beta.

So they you know, they said of the little alarm, and I guess Sigma you can see now outside about I would say.

What sound does the night alarm make? Rusty? I need to know it's a candy night alarm? Right, So it goes yeah, yeah, better, bit it better, but it's nighttime. She's dead. These are like fire alarms and start all over the kingdom. I love it. I love it.

Okay, I'm gonna say a regiment of Knights, maybe like twenty of them.

That now less or more than a retinue. Oh no, just like twenty like Knights Sigma.

You can see are now outside charging towards the gingerbread Dragon on that command and Rick planned that is your action to do the deception, and it is the Knight's turn next. So the Knights are now surrounding the gingerbread Dragon.

As a bonus action.

Yes, can I got inspiration to the knights or at least one of them at the front.

As he runs past the captain give it to the captain that's leading the charge or whatever leading the charge.

These obviously there's gonna be These are knights that are so far away from you, but I will allow it because I think they can. I'm gonna I'm going to say that you give Bartic inspiration to the lead Night that's in the room with you, and he passes it a log to the other knights.

So can you, God, you've shown up to help us. I knew you'd be able to do it.

Can you just I'm just gonna rule like this, Can you roll me a D six and I will add it to all of the Knight's attacks absolutely as it's.

Like incredible, Please be a two. That's amazing. Double. Okay, I'm just gonna hit this back in twenty times one two, three, four, five, six fifty sixteen seventy that's not bad, you know. Four.

So anything four to all of those, yeah, so bity a minute. Anything that's above A twelve hits in this situation. So that is one, two, four, five, six, seven, eight nine, ten, eleven, twelve thirteen fourteen hits two of them.

Cress so wore.

Forty five, six, seven, eight nine, ten eleven twelve one two.

Al Right, guys, math time, this is what happens when you've got an entire army fighting a dragon and then flashbacks all of the twenty two and the bus with the HELLSBU.

Two fifty four sixty four seventy two, one hundred and ten.

I was nearly there, one hundred and ten damage that Knights bring down their swords towards this dragon for one hundred and ten damage, which isn't enough to kill it.

Oh no, and I'm going to the gingerbread dragon now takes a legendary action. He puts his mouth down towards he's not.

Those brave soldiers, and he breathed cinnamon fire all around him.

And that is even if they succeeded their saving throat, they would die from this.

He kills all of the knights instantation, instantaneously, all of them.

How does this there surround How does the breath weapon work? Is it's freaking oval, It's a fucking all around him, like oh, he's spinning around with his breath fucking fire. He just cinnamon fire, just kills twenty knights in one go.

He shoot a hundred sticks of big red gum dead.

And yeah, well that wick Flan, that was the result.

Remarkable.

Well, I think we're kind of killed two birds of one stone there. I think we've done some to the dragon, and I think.

The way out seems somewhat clear. Night's lighter. Princess Marcy Pan is like hiding. She's tears in her eyes and she's looking at the cartage outside Navena.

It is your turn. She going to try and try and get on Marzipan's a good side again.

Okay, that's honestly a good plan because she has a lot of power now because now that so she's seen Duke roly Poly die and she's seeing her nights die. It's the worst day of her life because she also just saw her father commit suicide.

So she's.

Your plan.

It was a good plan, to be fair, it's gone this far. This was supposed to.

Be my wedding day.

Everybody's died.

I understand. I think it would be best if you'll come with us. At least she has the big I can outside. No, no, no, no, we're not going to kill We're not well. Brodie Poly was going to kill you.

He only wanted to marry you. Throw the kingdom. You see.

It's had a bit of a k oh.

You're gonna have to give me a really hard persuasion roleway if that's what you're trying to do. Good luck, buddy, Connor. I believe in you, all right.

Persuasion Ah, thank god, I don't have minus too on this roll.

Good luck. This could be it. Thirteen is not good enough. You also do have. I don't think it was possible. I don't think it was possible Prince Press positives are like, please.

Just leave me.

I don't want to die or work with you.

Well, if you won't come with us, at least leave the castle so you don't die.

How do Okay?

She looks at the front entrance where the dead body of Duke roly Poly is crag standing over after you've just announced that.

You killed him. She looks over and she's like, how do I get up here?

Just gonna you can just walk past the crag. It's fine. He will not hurt you.

I don't believe, actually you should. I didn't hit Dick this entire time that I'm not going to hurt you.

I really this is the most traumatic day of her life.

I don't think she's She's gonna be in therapy for a while after this. Yeah, uh okay.

It is now Rock Brother of Rax turn. I guess unless you do anything else of Vena.

Sorry, I have done what I can. Rock Brother of Rack is done.

Now that gingerbread drag, it is closer to the gingerbread mech again. He's going to jump back on the dragon and sort of pour the reins that he has on the gingerbread dragon and kind of redirect it towards the palace because he realizes he's getting distracted. He has a job now, and that is to take over the kingdom, and that's going to allow the gingerbread Dragon to move closer. So I when I say he's closer, it is now Pockets turn. Pocket stands up and he goes, well, I

Well, the pockets, you'll see there are no guards.

Well there's there's There aren't cards in this room, but they're actually I guess they're running outside because they're You're right, they would have left as well.

So, yeah, there's no guards.

And I assume they joined the charge on the twenty as soon as I shouted for help.

They will get there eventually. That twenty was the initial challenge. There'll probably be more Wave two. Fantastic.

Yeah, the entire kingdom.

They don't know the key. Did they think that? They think the king's inside the dragon. They've trained for this day. They always knew that gingerbrea Dragon would be a threat.

Oh did you know if you hang around here, I think I've got a plan for essentially a second wave of the same thing we just did.

Right, Well, you know what I admire or your use of deception. It's a it's a good trait to have.

Oh, sometimes you want to have, you know, bit of the yin, bit of the yang. Sometimes you sometimes you tell a guard that he's doing a good job, and sometimes you impersonate a princess's father and commit suicide.

It's it's a.

Complex life, right, Can I can I share a secret with you?

Rick Pocket? I was hoping one day you'd say that, of course you can. All right, so you didn't hear this from me. I've just been hearing. You know, I've overheard a few things.

And I I worry that Sigma might be planning to overthrow you. You know how he keeps saying your plans are so like you know, he gets frustrated at your plans and all of that.

I think he's I think he's having second thoughts about your leadership.

If I were you, you know, if I was in your position, I would dip that in.

The butt straight away.

But you know you're thinking, Pocket, I'm glad I'm not the only one who's seen this. What It's almost like he didn't think that charging the dragon was a good idea.

Exactly right. He always he's always suicide jumping off the arm plan. Roly Poly killed the king and not explained anything to Marsy plan.

The more the less you knew, the better. Yeah, it's all going exactly as planned so far. But I'll tell your pocket. I'm glad I'm not the only one that's seen this. I think I think I'm picking up what you're putting down.

A big toothy grin the best day of pockets, like and I've said that about every day, so I.

Am molding. You also say, have no idea he's had this conversation.

Yeah, I'm so far away now, I'm like one.

Hundred and twenty feet away from you guys. Oh what incredible scenes, crag.

It is your turn, Okay, well Rick Rick's plan is to leave and and he he we're doing the emissary things. So did Duke roly Poli, I assume have like this was his wedding day, so I'm assuming he had like a long flow in cape cloak kind of thing.

It was his wedding day, but he he didn't come here to get married.

He came. He knew that.

You guys, what was he what was he wearing? Did he have a crown? Did he have like a cloak?

It is like, yeah, he has his duke, but he also exploded everywhere. So's his clothes are into the place.

Can I pick up the cloak and put it on my back as sort of like I am.

The only thing that survived? Yes, of course, the emissary of the ash cars. This is my royal retinue.

All right, oh this is sick.

I kind of just want you explode a man and then put.

On the worst I guess spud Russet will also just follow you outside the room as well. Ok you guys are now in a different room. Yes, we are now in the room you know above that Okay, yeah, okay.

Gingerbread Dragon, Oh my god, God, oh Jesus Christ. So the gingerbread dragon is just roaring doing all of this sort of stuff. He has to roll that one D six see breath breath. He has breath working the zach so he's going to use it on the mech. Oh boy, yeah, so the mech o, God, it's a it's a con save and a mech's not ah.

Yeah.

So the mech takes thirty seven damage.

Just the gingerbread dragon raws cinnamon breath onto it and eight.

Constant what is it made out of? All? Right, Gingerbread, you have your tracks? You hear Crumb on the earpiece, Go guys.

Guys, I don't I'm going to red flashing things on my screen. And then the dragon is actually going to continue flying towards the room, So he's going to be here, and he's got quite fast flying speed.

So on his next turn, could I enter the room?

Could I bring it up at this point, Rustage, I mean he is leaving the mechs zone for like an opportunity attack there.

Yeah, sure, I agree with you. That would have happened before I grabbed the dragon. Uh, I don't know how to do that yet, I need somebody opportunity attack Yeah. Could virtunity attack be a grapple in twenty.

Twenty four, yes, because it's in twenty forty four.

Yes.

However, kind of Crumb doesn't know how to do that because he already knows how to do his punch and its another grapple.

He doesn't know the command like in Mortal to do you know up up?

He does hit, though he does fifteen damage towards the gingerbread dragon as he smashes into something.

Mm hmm, Duke's dead. Sigma at your turn. Okay, I'll be honest, I am.

It would take me two turns just to get through the same door that everyone else has gone through, because I am on the complete of the room.

But you are just going to look into the room with crumb.

Okay, So you press the panel on the wall and it opens the door, and hey, Sigma, and you could just see, you know, he's got like books open everywhere. He's desperately trying to figure out how this thing works. He doesn't understand any of this.

They're all in German.

Yeah.

Here, I'm here to help you operate the.

Macru Okay, you you helped me figure out how to like operate, but I didn't know how. You didn't teach me how to do any of the special moves that required an additional check.

That I didn't get to do.

Oh I see, Well, to be fair, I didn't I didn't know that either, all right, Yeah, but.

We can figure out that. Yeah, yeah, is there any sort of what I do here?

I would just I would let you do an intelligence check or Okay, let you do an intelligence check, try and figure it out.

Just flat intelligence.

Don't you think one of the skills you have can help in some way.

I don't know.

I think I think it's just a flat intelligence. But he will, Crumb will be helping.

That's good.

You push in the side, You're like, you know the Konami code, and you just yeah, it all just makes you know, you remember back on Epsilon Delta dealing with tech and stuff like that. It's like it's different than what you know, but it uses things that you remember, like the base concepts are there.

And you realize in Robot Wars, yeah, you you realize this scouter.

That the gingerbread mech has this big like code that you can enter to activate the gingerbread cannon.

Yeah, there's which I will allow you to do now if you want to. You press it.

Out inside the gingerbread mag makes mouth opens gone, and gingerbread cinnamon particles just everything just blasts out of it towards the dragon. But you do see there's like a health bar for your gingerbread mech And as he's doing this, the health bark, your gingerbread Mike is depleting rapidly, just like taking it from his own body.

It's like his final attack, and we will roll it.

I was really hoping the cannon was going to be a penis, that that wouldn't work.

That would work on account of him having a human penis.

That's true, that's true.

He also doesn't have a human penis. It was a joke we made. I said this free stream, but I would say, this is a gingerbread who doesn't have a penis.

He's just a gingerbread make penises.

It was just a joke because because the idea that it was Kaiser who augmented himself.

But we then discovered that it wasn't. So you never had a bad can't have a penis. It was just a bread man. Nobody bad.

Outlawed the concepts no penises.

They've gone. No, he's leaving. Penises don't exist in the aon veil. They don't exist here. Yeah, leg goes all the ships. It's from out, Okay, Gingerbread Dragon has to make a consave. The Gingerbread Dragon fails.

Dragons had thirty five hp remaining thirty seven damage.

The mechas the.

Gingerbread Dragon and completely disrah as it disintegrates in the pieces of gingerbread, slamming down to the ground, maybe taking out Eric Knights on the way.

I'm going to do a acrobatics check from Rock now because as.

This happens, Yeah, he is high up right, he is, Yeah, on top, he's.

Higher eighteen Okay, So as this happens, he jumps off the back of the gingerbread dragon as it was approaching closer to the window, sort of propelling himself forwards with like Ashcar strength power.

I guess it would be athletics.

Yeah, modify, and he smashes through the window and lands in the throne room, the gingerbread dragon falling to.

Pieces behind him.

And also simultaneously the gingerbread mech also collapsing to the ground in disrepair, in fatal condition. Rock, brother of Rack, steps into the room and he goes, where are you bastards? He then looks over and sees Marzipan and says, oh, you're here.

Are He's shouting? And I am an Ashcar. Can I be like I sense the presence of Yes, well, I would imagine.

More than anything, Like just when we we talk, we have a very gravelly sort of voice, So like I would be able to probly tell that like, wait.

A minute, wait a minute, yeah I will.

I will come over the commns after delivering like the fatal paleoad to the dragon and be.

Like the dragon is down, but there is a new opponent inside of the palace.

Captain.

Oh, do you mean the ashcar that just jumped off and flipped, I must say, quite acrobatically and land that I can see him through the doorway the very same.

Yes, excellent, what's crag?

I don't have a calm I gave away, so.

I'm just going by what you just said, like, yes, I know, I know what I must do now, Sigma. Are you and Crumbs safe?

Yes?

I believe so.

There's no way he knows where we are, for.

Least to stay safe until we need you for an ambush attack. I'll call you when we do. Yes, sir, it is Crumb's turn. Chrumb looks at the thing.

It says.

The amount of damage it did to the gingerbread diamond Dragon, it did the exact same amount of damage to itself. I don't think we can use this mech anymore, Sigma.

That's fine. It did what it needed to do. Crumb, do you have a weapon.

I gave it to Rick.

Yeah, yeah, it was my ketchup condiment gun. They were bites branded. There must be a weapon in here somewhere. I guess he will do a perception to look around. Oh, or we compressed The button?

Is the button when when I when I was interfacing with the machine and figured out the core for the gingerbread mac. Is there anywhere that I could have discovered what the jelly like gummy bear button does.

Yeah, I'm gonna say yes, because you've got a twenty one you like understand it.

It creates gummy bears that answer that question here you go.

Isn't like It's not like a palace self destruct button.

It creates. It creates gummy bears.

And they controlled the exact same way the gingerbread mech is via the computer.

I'm a gummy bear crumb.

I think you can rearm yourself, and I point to the button.

Okay, if you're sure, He puts his hand over the button. If I die, sorry, that's a bit traumatic.

He presses the button.

And a little tube pops out of the the computer and goop comes out of the tube and bottles down to the floor. And then the goop sort of shapes into this giant gummy bear, like just a big gummy bear, and there's two of them.

And they both go, right, we will are they are they tiny or are they like the huge they're twice they are large size that they're they're the same size in that room. Yeah, this that's very pressing. At the edge of the room. You let them out. I think we should let him out.

So he presses a button and the doors open up and they sort of spit out of the room.

They just squeeze out, all right, and they go we are here, and I guess they'll be controlled on crubs future turns. Yeah, alright, that's cool. Oh this campaign is very absurdist, and it wasn't my initial Rick Plan.

You okay, were you going for? Yeah, you're like, I wasn't expecting to be absurd You have put us the first immediately.

That's like, we food every day when these people don't.

That's the point they're dining over here, Rusty, drive it off a dirt for god's sake, Rick Plan. Here's the situation.

You've just You've just seen rock jump into the throne room behind you. You can see it through the doors that are still open. And you've also now seen two gummy bears come out of Crumb's room and go, which, to be fair, if you guys didn't know that was going to happen, it does make it look like Sigmal and Crumb just turned into coming pass.

Yeah.

I'm going to go on living and say none of us knew that was going to happen.

None of us. That is the situation you were incurrently.

Greg, What can you see in that room? Just just so I'm clear.

Way in the distance, I guess I would see Rocky. Like I said to another another, Ashcar, I know what I must do, Boss, don't worry.

Yes, I can see him. It's not actually him. I'm not concerned about just to the side. Yeah, the secret room compartment thing. What are you making of that?

I I don't know what perception. I don't know what you're talking. I have laser. My vision is incredibly myopic. Right now, Boss, I'm focused on focusing on the other. At this point, where do you want to fight the other? Ash Car go to hang on Segma either, Yes, we're here. I don't have a calm device, Sigma. Are you a gummy bear? No?

No, I am.

I'm a like him.

I know that.

But right now, the situation right now, and two gummy bears that just walked out of the room that you're in, Crumb.

Is patching it. We pressed the gummy bear. Yeah, we pressed them. It makes a lot more sense. That makes complete sense. Now I understand what's going on. They are on your side. Yeah, charge car, Yes, I must challenge him to the ancient art of rock lock.

It is fantastic. Good luck. I'd like to provide bartic inspiration to Crag.

Yeah, thank you, bonus.

All right, anything else, Sigma, that dashcar that's landed, is he friendly or not?

Absolutely not. No, he's here to take over the kingdom.

Okay, fantastic God, I'd have to put him on pistol and just shoot the ashcar.

Go ahead, shoot him, give me the right one. Yeah, so you pull out. Oh my god, you miss him. Boss, listen, I understand, but this is between me and him. This is of my people. Understand. In that case, I just shoot the ceiling on purpose, I would say, maybe maybe even so, or just like ketchup comes out of your gun, because that is a setting it has.

Oh it's a glove of white pistol.

Okay, so it's now the Knight's turn. Unless you're moving at all, Rick, plan, are you moving?

It's all?

Oh are the knights the ones that are still in the room with us, they've gone now they've got I don't think there are any there's no sculture. Are there any knights currently around? No, they're all either unconscious, dead or gone. Okay, fantastic.

Okay, Yes, I'm done with my turn, and I've inspired Crag and I'm kind of leading it all to him and the gummy bears.

Now brand new sentence. Okay, So.

A bunch of the Knights are now sort of approaching the corpse of the gingerbread dragon and gingerbread mech and they are all like falling to their knees and they're weeping because they assume that the gingerbread make you know, they think the king is dead. I mean he is, but they think this is how he died. Was this battle. So you see, one of them was actually giving a sermon,

They're like, oh, our great kaiser he died.

Oh it is all happening in the six seconds, Princess malesy Pan is stalty, consolable.

She goes, she don't want to flee the I think she might. She might, Ah, but you guys are outside. She thinks you guys are enemies. She's gonna still hide.

But so she noticed Rock.

She does his rock.

She goes, Oh fuck, he's here to kill me. Oh, Navina, is your turn. I'm going to give you a chance here.

Okay, all right, I'm going to say to the princess.

Do not worry, Princess, no harm will come to you. I will protect you from this man.

Give me a persuasion.

It's slightly easier because you are protecting her actively from a threat that she knows as an enemy.

Okay, eleven is terrible. Eleven is terrible.

She's like, I mean, she's just curling off in a little ball and crying.

Well, actions speak louder than words. I'm gonna move just into the middle of the room. Oh wow, you're gonna stand there and stands and shout to Rock you me crag like, man, what is your business here?

I am Rock, brother of Rack, the grill Master.

I come from the Slaughter Forge to take over the Candy Kingdom and unite Gastrovia under the banner of the grail Master.

Are you here to step in my way?

I'm gonna like quickly turn to Mars upon see he's the bad one.

Okay, but like.

I get that, But also I think you guys are doing the same thing. I think icy bad on both sides.

Never mind, do you mean to harm the princess?

I mean to kill her, But maybe I'll have to kill you first.

Yes, you, you will have to kill me first. Reluctantly. Okay, are you going to die so you can prove a point to Bosie?

Pad you die, I'll set up a can I set up a reaction?

Yeah? What's your reaction? Is it like when he gets closer to you, you want to attack him?

Yeah? Reaction is if he does come in in range of me.

Which he will do on his turn.

So which he will do is to just like do an attack or to disengage.

You.

I don't I don't think you would do that. I think you can prepare an action. Disengaging is an action that allows you to use your movement to not but you still have to move, and that's not an action.

I see, I see I see, Okay, I guess I'm just like surprise attack him.

You could you could? You could?

I mean, yeah, you could attack him, or you could prepare a dodge. You could just dodge.

Yeah, dodge, that's yeah.

Nobody ever does the dodge action.

Yeah, yeah, I'll set up a dodge action.

Incredible. He's going to charge towards you with his flaming hammer.

This means he has disadvantage on his attack as he strikes you, he's flaming because you are dodging. His flaming hammer comes down towards you. Nine, he's gonna miss you. You dodge the hammer, I mean like reshape your body, I assume.

Yeah.

It's like he like swings down on like the middle of me, and I like jelly slide the other way.

Large action is really underutilized. It really is because we wouldn't.

Yeah, slams the hammer into the ground with a tremendous thud. It like breaks some of the stone beneath you. But you dodge out the way and he looks over at you and he.

Goes you are a slippery one. Oh god, it's pockets turn Fuck.

It's like, all right, Rick, are we still sticking with the stay out here plan or we fighting the big rock guy?

Fuck it?

How much do you think that hammer is wielding is worth? Ashcar weaponry?

All right, it's a convocated economical problem and it's something we need to discuss with CRAG.

The issue with.

Ashcar weaponry is they are offered, created by the user, and can often only be used by the user and other Ashcar or other Ashcar. But Ashkar see it as disrespectful. I've tried selling Ashcar weapons to Ashcar and they won't do it. They won't take it. It's disrespectful to a lot of their culture and people who aren't Ashkar can barely handle the damn things.

I couldn't lift it up. You can't lift it up, it's too heavy. So yeah, basically I'm right here by the way. Yeah, selling my body parts or yeah, I disagree with that, but you're all my friends. I'll let you use my knives and stuff. But yeah, I could see you were trying to sell pieces of my brethren. The thing is his pocket to attack the guy. Yeah, I understand what you're trying to do. Rake. You know you're aniperative guy.

I understand that we've all been there, But if the only people who would be willing to purchase it would be close family members of him, So I could sell it to Rack.

Like Ransom.

It it's like a child. Think of it like a child. Okay, that's a genius idea. You just are Pocket. If we need to bargain with girl master Rack and he doesn't take as seriously as warriors, and you take out the hammer of his brother Rock, who you slayed, you would become well, you'd be a bloody a mythic monster, right.

But I could also just do that, whilst I could just let you guys do it and I can watch and then take it. I don't actually have to do the effort. You don't understand how my life works.

You don't understand how my life. That's a good point, Pocket, you make, make a very good argument. I think we're going to have to fight this guy at some point, but your involvement in it is entirely up to you.

I just I mean to be fair.

You've blown your hand off already and you've replaced it with a Swiss Army k life.

I think you've done enough for this combat fight. Oh right, all right, Well, then I'll fire my gun at a safe distance. I could do that. About If you do that, I'll join you. Yeah, let's just both stand here and fire our guns at a safe distance. Fantastic.

Yeah, like friends, let's not go that far pocket, you know, like Captain and first mate.

I'll consider. Do you know who wouldn't do this? Who wouldn't do this? Bucket?

He Sigma would never stand side by side with you. He'd always be running off and hiding. That's because he's a shame to be around you. You ever noticed that?

You know? Now, Now you put it that way, you seem to prefer to hang out with two giant gummy bears instead of me.

I okay, okay, Crag, it is your turn, all right. I appreciate the help, fellas, but I got this all right. So I don't think I can walk all the way up to him. But what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna move up to here. Okay, you move into the Yeah, I move into the room there. And I just I heard him shout what his name was. So I'm just going to be like rock brother of Rack. I am Kronk, I mean, I am Crags. Damn, I already messed. This is my first I'm nervous. All right, this is my

No?

God?

Are you yes my homeland?

Oh God, that's why you still do the whole rock lock thing. That's like, that's really outdated. Now all right, we just we just have fights now, we don't call it like especially it's.

Not just a duel. It is also the way Ashcar introduced one another on you said grandparents fuck? Or is that God honored? That is like you speak of me as the high elders. My grandfather Mark would be proud. Mark. I've said that before. It's it's tracks, son of Kranks, son of Mark Glue. Now I moved forward. I moved forward. I didn't take an action. My action will be ready

Yeah. I was just about the start.

I mean, well, I can't tell you what to do, so you know, but I'm just really I'm really nervous right now on it crag is like breaking out in a magma sweat like this is I'm not used to this. This just new to me.

Spud Ressa is gonna just sit down in this new you guys are there, he goes.

There's like a bench right outside the throne room.

He's still worried about his family, and he turns to to recule.

He's like, after this battle, if we if we could find like a phone or something, I want to try and call my wife again. I'm you know, if it's this hectic here, I don't know what downtown is like. He didn't signatutes short ten.

But I'm going to be honest, I've completely forgotten that you were even here. But I'm glad that you're going to be calling your wife, was it?

Yeah, my wife and child. He's check in on them on person. But obviously you guys kidnapped me. Yeah, that sounds like a thing we would have done.

Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna bust out of I guess stealth, running out of this room behind one of the pillars near these gummy bear guards. Yes, so they're like so Navena and this Rock guy like engaged like forty feet away.

From me in the center of the room.

Yes, yes, yes, he's got his back to me.

I'm like perfect, I'm going to start at him from here, perpose?

Great, go ahead, you want to have that? Wow? Yeah, the last hits off. It hits one of the you know what. It hits the pillar that marsie Pan is hiding behind, and that shatters and Marsyan is like fuck. But yeah, a moment I'm gonna be like, oh fuck.

And then as a as a as a bonus actual i'mnna quickly hie again behind the pillar, turn around and see where I want one of the gummy bears.

Three people have shot their guns and just missed Rock. Yup, yup, Please, there there must be a duel. You cannot you cannot beat Rock with gun. Okay, The gummy bear guards now will.

Approach Rock, brother of Rack, and Rock will be what the fuck is this?

And god the gummy bears go gummy punch gummy robots. Twenty three. There we go eight.

So the twenty three hits for nine damage.

Wow. First hits boom, it rocks the body of rock. Rick plan, it is your turn.

I've got to say, Pocket, this is not going the way I expected it to go. But I'm glad the dragon's dead. Yeah, that's a bonus we've got right now. Okay, right, what do we do? Crag, do you need a hand or are you okay?

I'm god, I got it, but I got it. Arna, How are you doing?

Hi?

Seem for her backup?

You do sigma everything. I okay? Over there, I'm sneaking.

You are going to assume that's fine, Princess, Princess, just checking in.

How are things go?

Okay, things haven't changed much over there? I see pretty standard, Pucket. Do you want to just shoot the guy again? Listen, I'm happy to shoot the guy. We just stand there and shoot him. One of these will hit. One of them will hit. You know yeah what yeah, one of them will. I'm like, yeah, let's just shoot. I want to say they're gun. I'm just trying to shoot the guy again.

It's like back with Rick Cladport. He had spells. Don't worry.

The spells are being stage and when we really need them. Yeah, we don't need them yet. You're right, nothing's happened. Yeah, that needs a spell.

You're so true. Shoot your gun. We'll try and shoot them though. Twenty four hits. There you go, do the damage huge, Let me roll the damage nine damage perfect. You fuire your blaster. It chunks off a bit of Rock's body. Are you doing anything else? Is that your turn?

Can I cast vicious mockery as well? I think that's an action because I believe that rockery? I can we cast a bonus action content.

No, it's an action. It's vicious. It is an action unless they changed the rules of it. It's an action.

You double check in that case. Let me see if I can do anything as a bonus action. I think the only thing I can really do is partic inspiration. But I don't need to right now, so I'll just kind of shoot him once and then just hold the gun again and look at Pocket.

Go on.

But you can't do that, all right?

We should have hit him next time. I love these little games of ours.

I'm feeling a real bond between us, Pocket me too.

See Sigma screaming in the corner.

Yeah, I'm so glad Sigma can't hear any of this shit.

Yeah, Oh god, okay, yeah, Princess Marcy fans crying. The knights are doing a funeral. Navina, it is your turn.

You're standing in front of Rock, brother of Rack, Rock brother of Rac is going to get twin hand hammer.

Twin hand hammer here, come, bang bang.

She's going to put her two hands together and form what looks, you know, like a big hammer. Response to him, Yeah, what's the combo? Because I think what I'm going to add flury of blows, You're just.

Going to be three hammer strikes. Yeah, all right, here we go. So Navena brings her, but we'll find out when she needs to.

Use it yet.

Yeah, okay, okay, there you go, ten, fifteen, seven. None of those hit, None of them match well.

And you don't have fat inspiration either, because the entire population of Astrovia do like the night population.

Do you know.

This is this is probably the toughest opponent that Navena has faced. She's just you know, your men sober, true, you're they just sort of pap against the stone hard body of Rock.

And he looks down at and he goes, yeah, not so weak a little lady.

Oh and he's gonna hit you with his hammer and Honestly, I know, Craig, you wanted him to come towards him, but he's now surrounded by gummy bears and yeah, and you know, bring up to do Yeah.

God, little lady. If this hits, what is your armor class?

Narvena, let's not talk about that. Let's not talk about nineteen. It definitely hits.

It definitely might be able to hold the roll. What is your armor class?

My armor class, I believe is fifteen.

Oh, I don't know if I can alter that. If you get five or six on that D six, right it's a D six.

Right, yeah, it'd be it'd be using cutting words inspiration, reaction.

But yeah, yeah, yeah, So if you get it, if you get a favor or six.

You you will do it.

So I will say I wouldn't worries too much about it.

Okay, that's fine. We'll say that for a more important character like yeah, like pocket, Yeah, likecket. Vina is the glue that's holding this together. Okay.

Rock brings down the hammer with great jewry. The fire is for the nine is the damage of the hammer. So that is thirteen total damage.

Quite loight roll, actually thirteen damage and smashes into your guy body in response, coun Okay, I'm going to I'm going to deflect. Ah, it's not a range.

No, it doesn't matter. When an attack role hits you and its damage includes bludgeoning, piercing, slashing, or slashing damage, you can take a reaction to reduce the total damage against you by one D ten plus your dexterity modifier and monk level.

Great, all do it to the fire, but just to the damage.

Okay, yeah, it is amazing.

Now hold on, now, hold on.

It said if the damage includes Bldgeling, slashing, or piercing, then it reduces the total damage done against you by the dice rock.

I will let you guys have that.

It feels like rules is intended. It would only reduce the bludgling damage.

But I'm going to let you know.

There was one thing I thought of playing D and D is that monks were way too weak.

They need to total damage.

You deflect the damage, reducing the total damage by do your details.

In this time, we had this argument.

You could have rolled the fucking number one.

It's one plus one plus dexterity plus monkly right, it's eight.

It's eight. Overall, it's reduced by matter because it's not the amount.

You reduce the damage.

Well, at least we know now how this works.

Just within as he's as he's bringing I can do it with my fury points. As he's coming down with the hammer, I think I'll put arms together again and make like a watery shield.

Wow smashes into the watery shield.

You're struggling like it's a fucking dog dragon ball z beam battle.

You are stronger than you look, little Valinari.

You've people assume the very weak.

You have earned the respect of Rock brother of rack On Like that one over.

There, who's he pointing at Yeah, there's a few people.

Gasp.

You two just start pointing at each other.

It's like, all right, it is Pocket's turn. I guess pocket His key thing here is he wants to hit this shot. Yeah, let's see if he does it. Here.

It comes not great luck with this that missus.

Unfortunately, it glances off the rock body. The fourteen glances off the rock body of Rock.

And Pocket goes. He looks up at Rick and goes, sorry, boss, it's okay. It's a difficult shot.

Sigma would have made it, but it is a hard shot.

Now, yeah, make sure I hit it next time.

Yeah, just so you do. Okay, Crag, it's your turn, all right. I see Navina struggling against Rock's brother of Rack, so I was like, no, Vina, you're too squishy.

I'm coming come here, all right, and then I use my please let this.

It takes ashcar flesh to damage ashcar flesh.

God, you just keep missing, and they're not even when close misses.

You rolled an eight eight, I roll a nine.

That's one miss last week or two weeks ago, and.

Now you hit a single attack. No, and I'm huge too, but I have nothing to do with it. I don't know, God, is there anything else I could do. I'm only level three, I don't have extra attack yet. I don't have anything else. All my shit is only when I hit the Holy shit. The Crag is very nervous right now.

People in the chat, even with bodic inspiration, with a sixth roll that still wouldn't hit.

Yeah, but if I with a sixteen, i'd be a fourteen, and we just saw from pocket at fourteen does not cut the mustard.

So uh yeah, yeah, there's no point in me burning that. Yeah, rocks like pathetic. I have not master Wait, maybe the art of the ris night is not in hitting the foe.

Maybe there's another way to use it. I Sigma go ahead, damn all right.

Okay, I'm going to I'm still from stealth.

I guess yeah, you're You're still hiding behind the pillar.

The gummy beg gods surround Rock as well as Navena and Crag and over whelming force, I would say, And he hasn't been that effective.

Yeah, yeah, you know what, I you know what else hasn't been very effective?

This pistol of mine and run towards a.

Lot of people's guns haven't been doing stuff.

Yeah, okay, you run towards I'm gonna run between these two gonna be bear guards were still Oh we were web we were.

I think I think I'm still running towards here in rocks blind spots.

So I should still be instelled.

Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. As long as you're making it, you're breaking it. You're jumping out of stealth, making the attack part.

Yeah yeah yeah, So.

Okay, go ahead, try me that claw, give me that claw, your cybernetic claws come out. Fourteen does not hit the rocky body of Rock. Yeah, okay, I can.

I can make an extra attack with Claus though because of my claws.

Yes, as part of the attack action.

Yes, yes, I'm gonna try again without age this kind, I.

Guess, and also did not hit this guy. It's only Nena. My god, dude, Yeah, I don't.

I can't really do anything.

Question does this guy have anything on him? Like does he have what's what's he wearing? What's he what's he equipped with?

He's he's made of rock, he's got a big hammer.

I don't think.

I think he's wearing you know, what he's wearing like a grill master's apron is what he is wearing.

Oh that's nice, and that's about it, like like a barbecue apron like.

Kiss the cook, you know kind of Yeah, that's that's that's I be Yeah, yeah, that's it. That's a sigma. I don't think I can do anything. So yeah, okay, well then yeah, the gummy bear going up next and they go gummy punch, gummy punch. Well glad they can hear, and they they can hear.

They think they have about the same modifier as you as well. Seventeen damage total between shared between them as they.

Keep smashing this.

Oh god, Conor Crumb has I think effectively done the most help.

Yeah, absolutely than the most damage of the campaign.

Yeah. Probably, he's rocketing up there.

It's right back to you again. You and pockets standing side by side, guns raised, rock is looking weak.

Are where are the soldiers that were meant to be running in for the second wave or are they still in the room the morning over the dragon?

Sorry, they're outside mourning the dragon. Oh yeah, they're singing, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah that second. They don't caravan. What's happening in the throne room. They thought you convince them that the king was inside the dragon, so they've all gone to attack the dragon. Then the dragon died and they think the king is dead, so they're holding a big funeral. Honestly, we cut to outside and there's thousands of men in the streets crying, weeping over the death of the Kaiser.

Because also they think that gingerbread met is.

Him, right, only the Dukes know it's the little pea guy.

Oh that's right, ye, the body of the gingerbread men, they think it's the king.

I can't help her feel partially responsible for that, So what I'm instead going to do is realize that these guys are having a bit of a difficult time and then walk forward and be like, you know what, pocket, I can't just shoot things.

I can also tell jokes.

I would like to cast hideous laughter aims to walk Rock son of Rag, and I'd like to walk forward and like to shout out to him.

Rock got to hear a joke. No, but I'm gonna be honest.

You've sort of derailed me there, Rock, I was expecting yes and energy.

That's kind of what I've been working with here. Knock, knock, go away type B. That's good one. I'll do you more. Okay, Rock, that was good. We'll file that one. I'll say that laugh for later. How about this one? I was at a friend's funeral the other day. I said, do you mind if I say a few words? They said sure. I stood up and shouted bargain. I said, thanks. That means a great deal.

Right, So he's got to do a wisdom safe.

Oh yes, safe against this.

Fourteen. That's close. I don't know what what is your DC? Your spell save is fourteen fourteen?

He got he has made that.

I know.

It was really good idea as well. You step into the room. It's a good joke. It was it Parky That was funny, wasn't it. Oh I'm rolling on the floor laughing right now, thank you.

I can see by the fact that you're standing and not doing that, that you're telling the truth.

Rock Rock, like you see a bit of his face turn up, heap going wait a second, I don't get it, and.

Carries on I don't and opposely, that's your turner. So it's back to Divina.

All right, back to me. Oh my god, we're back again.

You know what you're doing. Don't tell me you've just been sitting. What you're doing.

Right, Here's what I'm gonna do.

What are you going to do?

I'm going to do.

A do?

What do I what if I don't hit him?

That's the uession I mean as evidence from everybody else. Yes, that is.

Sixteen yep, you know you know what, you know what, You're right, You're right, flurry of blows. Good luck sticking with big hammer. Hammo the hammer right now.

Let let's go hammer. It's hammer time. You bring the hammers down. Give me those three rolls? Fourteen ten?

What's going on here? You will? All right? I know what I gotta do.

What I gotta do it is Rocks turn there's a lot of people around him.

Bring it on. I can take your like sweating pose.

I think he's, to be honest, the only person who has like proven himself strong to him, besides the gummy bear guards, has still been Nona, and I think he's the.

Term one bullet. I hit him with a shot and Nevena braved him in melee combat.

He's gonna try and not look threatening it right now, you will hit that's up? Who is damage?

Yeah, Tony one damage damage. I believe I can deflect again.

Can you do this? Every reaction? This is return? You could just this is awesome. Takes a point.

Yeah, it's just it's just a reaction.

Point.

So it's like a yeah, does it? I mean I was reading listen. I don't know how someone there's no reason.

No, there's no resource for the it's it's a it's a point if I reflect the damage.

Yeah, that's still that's really good. Holy.

The first one is just a reaction.

And it's two.

Plus eight two plus eight damage ten. So you only take nine. I only take eleven.

Take eleven. Sorry, I'm a bad at mats.

Sorry, I do take eleven. Not lovely.

The hammer comes down and smashes you for eleven.

It breaks through your watery barrier that you're trying to create, because if there's too much force behind it but you're still conscious, you're just sort of squished into a puddle into the ground.

Alright.

I was sort of like dizzy from it.

Oh, pocket's gonna step forwards as well, and he really is determined to hit this shot. Do you guys want to take bets? And if he's going to hit the shot, yeah, I'll.

Get on like obviously I'm betting against him. What shoul we say a grand Yeah?

Yeah, okay, we can't do this on twitch because his captain is gambling and I don't know if that's legal. Wait, wait, wait, I leave for five seconds that we're gambling.

Do you think he's gonna hit with gambling?

My god, I know what I gotta do. All right, nobody can hit this guy. I'm nervous. He's navena looks very injured right now. Oh my day, guys called shot to the head. Yeah, he's hitting me going oh my days. Okay, I think you're doing the opposite of going in. I'm going you got it, you got it? Eight d eights. No, I haven't I haven't rolled a bubb a tennis guy should have been dead like an hour ago. He's just

Come on, Okay, I'm gonna try, and I'm gonna try.

I'm gonna use I'm gonna use my steady.

Am okay, good, yes, advantage, all right.

I'm clotta with advantage seventeen the damage, Sigma.

Please, there's a chance.

Oh it's not a high roll twelve damage. Twelve damage is good. It gets him low, it gets him really low.

I have I have one more clottag yeah without this time, without advantage. Okay, fifteen does not No, I don't think that. I don't think that is it.

Is now the gummy bears turn to pretends terrifying crumb else crumbs like Kaiser has had some sunglasses here, let me put them on.

It's time to go gummy mode.

Gummy punch one hits by gummy punch two hits again.

I do want to state the same modifiers.

Novena, yeah, bang, but this is lethal damage and he's not knocking.

Actually, he'll go Captain, do I kill this guy right now?

Crame, it seems like you're the only one who can, so yes, please.

All right, you don't want to knock him out, you know, that's questions.

The captain told me to kill him, Navina.

Nov We could try to knock him out, but I think if he comes to again, he might kill all of us without the help of some gummy bears.

Good, but my head hurts.

You see him in his The camera pans round him in his chair. All of his like screens are going to overdrive, and he's like, let's lock in, And he literally is just doing like this on a keyboard. I don't think any of that picked up. The stream will pick it up. It's just furious keyboard noises as the gummy bears arms back. Done done, done, done, and they slam into rocks, simultaneously piercing his body and ripping him apart.

Good job, you press the gummy bear button. Yeah, thank god for that.

Rock collapses to the ground. He goes bested by gummy bears. Ironic, they were one of my favorite foods. He wipes a rocky magmatir away rack. I fool but if you can hear me, avenge me take over Gastrovia and become the grill President.

You pass on your message brother, fuck you country.

Wait.

I love the fact his last words I actually tell him, like, I will carry your last words to to rack. You're like, fuck you because he died. He's dead.

I'd like to run over just for me. Like, but you do get why it was funny, right, You do understand the structure of the joke, the set up, the punchline.

All right now, even though he was an enemy, the idea of a rocky ashcar being killed by squishy gummy bears, it's it's hard to see he deserves an ashcar funeral.

Crumb says.

Define if you did not call me a gummy bear?

No, no, no, no, I meant, I meant the actual you are squishy like a gummy bear. But I meant the actual gummy bears.

Oh oh, I didn't even notice these.

Yeah, I know, I didn't notice them at first either. They came out of nowhere.

Do you need some healing maybe while we're chatting, Can I cast a healing word on the pina?

Yeah, if you have a spose lots free, I assume that that's your third one, last one.

Your last one?

Yeah, okay, so you do that? Crumb is talking over the Okay, I guess we don't need these gummy bears anymore, right, I guess not. He deactivates the gummy bears and they slowly melt away into a puddle. We always know where to find.

You can come out of you can come out of there now, I think.

He sort of awkwardly leaves his game a lair. Did I did I do a good job?

Guys?

You did it? I mean job. I'm just disappointed in myself if nothing else, crag.

Okay, does this mean I get to be this week? You'll nevilla got ten?

Okay?

Ah?

So Princess Marsey pan still in tears, sort of towards the body.

Okay, okay, he's he says.

She turns round to the rest of you and says, please please don't kill me.

Why would we kill you?

We want you to run the country.

You want me to run the Should we kneel?

Yes, kneel, Yes, we'll neil, We'll kneil.

I guess everybody kneel. She looks. He looks at you, hays confused. She's like, what, oh, I try to stand, Princess.

I believe me when I say I know what your father's final words to you were, and I believe they were before the scream and the fall, that he believes in you and knows you would be able to run this country fair.

And just why did he kill himself? I don't understand that the fall was over eighty feet? No, no, but why did he jump?

It's very slippy on a gingerbread man's hands, friction, the shoes he was wearing, they were not the correct ppe for where he was.

It was an accident. But then why did you guys kill Dukerole Poly?

Well?

You see, he was planning a coup so that Rock could take over, and then you heard him call the man.

That makes sense.

He even admitted it while he was here. He said he was going to kill you.

Yeah, yeah, I just it's all been too much. You're right, And I mean it doesn't look like you guys. If you guys were to kill me, you'd just do it now so easily.

Right.

Well, we had like plenty of opportunities earlier, but we have.

I mean, if you ignore the twenty guards and the two gummy bears, we actually also took down a dragon and this guy.

Yeah, okay, it's just a lots of process. I don't know if I'm ready to be a leader. I haven't learned everything about about ruling. And my father he taught me about the kingdom, but not everything.

Hi, princess, let me give you a little tip about leadership. You might not feel ready. I might not feel ready. You might never make the right decision. But that hasn't stopped me. Listen to him. He's smart.

Okay, he knows what he's talking about.

He does right, you guys already got the key card off Kaiser, right for the device.

Yes.

She walks over to the to the glass, the shattered glass at the back.

She looks out.

She sees the dead gingerbread man and dragon, and she sees all the people, all the knights, and they turn up to look at her, and they see her and they all kneel, and she goes, I.

Guess I guess I really am queen now?

Oh, And she looks down at the people and she says, my people, She shouts out, I know I may not be prepared to rule. I may not be as great have a leader as my father wants was, But I swear to you, I will try my best for I believe in the Candy Kingdom and I believe in Gastrovia. Each of us are sweet in our own special ways. I'm sorry if I make a mistake, but have faith in me, please.

Cracked eyes, it got really choppy for a moment there. I couldn't hear any of that. Did you miss the Queen's speech? It was beautiful. I don't hear a single thing.

No, okay, And I look at my bag and I pull out like a like a public speaking one oh one book and I just like give it.

To the queen.

Where you are.

This is my offer to you to help you in your mission.

It's okay, I've already I've already am.

And the crowd outside cheer Princess Mary. They say, they just cheer Queen Mosey.

Queen Mosey pan and there's roorius applause outside.

They've already gone.

Through the likes going to combat. It was a long it was. I'll tell you what team. The dragon's dead. We've killed one of the other guys, brothers. The Queen's on charge, everyone's guy. This has all gone to plans sover. I think this is going pretty bloody. Well, don't you.

I don't think it could go any better?

Yeah, I mean yeah, the queen, now, maybe.

We could, you know, have powerful allies helping us to meet with the other.

Leaders.

Absolutely, crag is what's the the cultural implication of us taking that hammer to grill master rack because we could present it and say we tried to save your brother, but unfortunately he was eaten by a dragon.

Well, the traditional ashcar rights do dictate we have to perform a funeral, which is we use the hammer to break him into smaller pieces and then turn him into a road. It's symbolic of the older generation. There's a reason for it. There's a reason civics is quite advanced, isn't it. There's a reason for it. They get turned into the road so that the old generation still supports the younger generation. It's a symbolic gesture.

More, I learned that you're remarkably advanced in the way you treat people. Also, when you've got a minute, we need to have a chat.

Of course, Princess Marzakandler pressure guys now and say I'm sorry for the way that I treated you, And honestly, I still am not sure if I trust you, but I at least know that you are an enemy of grow Master Rack, for you have killed his brother and I cannot have seen that. And if it is true that he was orchestrating a coup against my father and I, it will be soon that he might attack me again. So I would really much appreciate it if you.

Would. I'm sorry, I'm not very good at giving orders like this.

I want you to kill him grow Master Rack, and I will supply a mean of transport anything you need to get there.

Princess, would you be able to undo the ground lock on our ship Sassy over at the spaceport, I have.

No control of the spaceport. I am sorry. That's the machine that controls the.

The food also controls the spaceport. Of course, it's a machine that does two things. Prevents people from eating specific foods and also parking fines.

All I'm saying it's it's not necessarily it's the same machine. It's just that is the that's the that's where all of the neutral technology is. You know, that's not controlled by an individual warlord, which.

Includes right, so there's like a six kind of it's where.

Yeah, it's where my father would go, Oh, yeah, his key card I got.

I've got to get it off his body. I can't be not having that. Yeah, the body that's definitely in the dragon. You should go and have a look for that for quite some time.

Okay, well hum, Yeah, I should find his corpse and deal with all of that. And I guess not have a wedding.

Should team quick huddle?

Zipan? One second? Rick, do you also have any connection to is it Sierra?

Sierra is the Yes, she's the leader of the the Soup Sea Sanctum.

Yes.

Do you think she would also be against Girl Master Rack? I cannot imagine if feather Nari would be quite a fan of Wartime.

I think she hates him, Yeah, I think she just hates him because of his meat thing. Again, I don't I'm not sure, but my father would be the one to ask about that sort of political stuff. I've only only know what I've overheard, but I'm sure they're already deep in combat with each other.

Perhaps perhaps we can go see her first and maybe form an allyship. Perhaps would probably be easier to take on a warlord with another wallet on your side.

I mean, whatever you must do. That's probably what Duke was trying to do.

Yeah, well, whatever you must do. I have to attend to the needs of my kingdom. Thank you, Thank you, of course, my queen.

Good luck.

Okay, you make it sound like you've become members of this country.

Quick, quick citizenship, you just become knights.

I think that means you may remember that the actual corpse of the king is currently lying just outside of the castle that we hid behind the walls so we can do the whole suicidal for final rights, convincing her to become princess thing. She may soon discovered that the body is very much not inside the dragon.

Yeah, yeah, it's the actual in the block.

Still got him in the fridge, Yeah yeah, he's excellent. Things are going so much better than I expected. This is fantas in the fridge. The King is not in the fridge, is he not? The key is in the apartment.

He's in the apartments.

He's in That's fine, roly police, who knows where he's at?

Okay, yeah, excellent, brilliant. I think they're not going to discover. That's absolutely fantastic.

I mean, I'm sure would Polly not have got him cleaned up and like disposed of That depends he's not going to leave him around his room while he's getting dressed.

Fair, you guys have no idea what's happened to the corps of the King? Yeah, yeah, yes, the lots of future problem.

That's not a today problem, that's a tomorrow problem at best. Okay, Sponge, I think Navina had an excellent idea that we head over to the soup Lady Sea Sanctum.

Okay, I can give you my finest steeds that you can ride on into to get their post taste.

The gummy bears. Are they the horses? Yeah, they're like futuristic sci fi robo horses.

To remind us that we're in the futuristic sci fi robo world. I don't know why you'd call them futuristic sci fi robo horses. You just call them horse is.

Oh yeah, it's it's just a different to regular different to regular horses, you know that are made.

Up that can fit me. We Yeah, they're horses together. Horses horses.

Just go together, all right.

It's good to me. But first, uh, Nevena, I know this is kind of messed up, but could you say a few words because we do not have an ashcar priest here for the funeral.

Oh oh, of course, yes.

All ceremony pockets like wait, we're giving rocket wait and then I and then I just kind of nod to Nevina like.

He he died, how he fought?

Go ahead?

Oh uh? May he grill in the great flow.

Your noise isn't only picked up any moore taking. But yeah, I'm just every time Navina says a sentence of this, you're smashing him into the ground.

May may the road be paved with his charcoally skin.

Okay, And I do that. That continues on until he is just rubble on the.

Ground and made the road work ahead.

You remember the line, how did you know? That's how the funerals?

While while while that funeral is happening, rick Plan had said to Sigma that he wanted.

To you guys are on the moment.

Yes, so you guys are on the way up, probably heading to the stables. So I let you guys leave the palace. You're on your way out.

And at that point, yes, rick Plan will talk to Sigma. Sigma, can I borrow you for a moment please?

Yes, of course, captain.

You know that I'm very impressed with the invisible sneaking the stealth, melee combat, all that jazz, and it's all remarkably impressive. How are you feeling this is all going?

Hi?

I think it's like I said earlier, I don't think it could be going any better, Captain, according to.

Plan, Absolutely, I completely agree. Just so you know, Pocket's trying his best to turn me against you. It's basically coming over here and being all manipulative and whatnot and saying that I like him more than you. I think this is the best angle we've got to manipulate Pocket in our favor. So I just want to reiterate to you. And so you're sure, I like you a lot. I think you're great, and I consider you remarkably important on

So I want you to know that.

Obviously, Sigma is quite quite stoic, kind of like a plane face. He's responding here, but his tail is just going crazy behind him, A very excited wagging tail behind is the responsible.

Yes, thank you, Captain.

I know I must be clear.

I know that you're not a fan of Pocket, but we also must recognize that he did blow his own hand off in combat, and so healing him was imperative. He is a member of the crew, whether we do or don't like that. So I will risk myself for him. I will give my time to him, and I will heal him. I don't agree with how he's talking about you or what he's trying to do to me, but I am going to use that against him and for you. I hope you're comfortable with that.

I understand, Captain. If we can use him for the good of the pack, that the good of the crew.

Then yes, of course you have my my.

Utmost approval the pack.

The pack.

That's a I'd like to get our little notebad and just write that down. That's quite a good name, right, I was going to do the rest of the pack the others.

Okay, all right.

Can Thevena have a separate conversation with Pocket?

Okay, yes you can, so you know, and this is while Pocket doesn't know that the conversation between Rick plan Sigma is happening.

Yeah, all right.

This is when we're walking to the horses.

I saw you out there, you mad con.

Well yes, I thought it best to protect the princess.

Yeah yeah, yeahah, protect the princess. Killed the rock guy, proper, proper cool ship.

I have to ask Pocket, why did you help us? I mean you were you were in the position too pretty much betray us completely and run away with two croly police plan here you seemed quite in his pocket, no pun intended? Are you kidding me? Curious? Why why did you choose us?

Levina? You better understand this.

I'm from a backwater, a skippet planet with dust and desert and just scrap and bullshit. I have never had this much freedom in my entire life.

The ability to stick with.

You guys and go anywhere, do anything, steal anything.

It's a dream come true for me.

So yeah, maybe I could have stayed with Duke roly Poly and been a night, But then I had to stick with Duke roly Poly the whole time. And beyond this planet that feels like it's going to collapse at any moment, I'd rather explore the stars. See what money is out there. This is small scale novena, a dukedom, a kingdom. That's nothing compared to what's out there galactic empires, wealth.

Beyond their imagination. You understand, right.

Yes, I do think there is a part of you that likes us too.

A I mean I like you in my own special way.

Thank you for your help.

Yeah, well yeah, well well he sort of pockets off.

Pockets.

That could mean, that could mean three different things that all have different annotations right now, but yeah, they're all fantastic.

It's like, does anybody have a phone when I have a fridge? That's that's about I think Crumb does have a phone. He's the only one who does because he has one from Gastrovia. So he will pass.

It in the car. He had his car TV thingy, but he still has a phone that he used in his house if he used in his house, right, So he hands it over to Spud, who I guess it's crag Spud and kind of Crumb here.

So you made it through the battle. I'm glad you don't seem injured at all. Yeah, it's just.

Cause the last two times he's done this, she did not pick up. So this is kind of as a fruitless effort. It sort of rings rings, and then a voice from the other side goes, oh hello, Spud goes, this isn't Mirinda, Who is this?

Oh? I said she might be cheating on you. I'm sorry, So, I'm so sorry.

You must think that's possibly someone evil, not someone that she's cheating on him with.

You could cheat on somebody evil. They're not utually exclusive thing.

Normally the evil person wouldn't then answer the phone in an evil way. But that's actually exactly what an evil person would do.

Yeah, that's exactly what. Yeah, they're onto something here, Greg. You hear somebody a voice in the background, go, spun, is that you, honey? Help me?

Somebody shut her up? And do you hear like a thud on the ground.

Oh, I assume this is she's cheating, cheating.

This is the husband. Well, your too late, husband. Your wife is becoming part of my slave army. And then the phone just gets crushed. Oh and Spud goes. My wife falls down to his knees.

I hold him up. It's okay, Spud. They hold him up, just like it's okay. He's crying. We'll make sure your wife is okay. Spud and his tears in his eyes. And I guess, guys, we are we making sure that I know there's a lot of stuff going on right now. But or are we going to maybe have time to help spuds domestic situation out.

I mean I can cast heroism on him, which means the minute.

On that moment, we'll do it to be he continued, Yeah, okay, the problem is but he's out of spell slots, so.

He's got to raw dog these emotions, my friend. We're going to get there together.

Back to the world in pieces noise. First mocks, his voice, loud and angry, punching through the fog.

Wake up, Wake up.

A gordon of the hand shook his shoulder hard enough to rattle what little sense he had. He groaned, all five eyes fluttering open to a sky that didn't feel right. Too still, too close. His head throbbed. Every thought arriving late and half formed, Mark said.

You're alive.

Stay that way what he tried and stopped as the memory caught up with him in a rush of fire and noise. His breath hit What have spore cappened? Mok said flatly, must have least our derodoy with land mines. Madman's answers to being shortened soldiers. If you can't guard the ground, make it kill people for you. Sweet pushed himself up and shaking arms. The world swayed, the truck gone. Mok said, doesn't matter, plans delawn, We move now. Panic

Corrigan's dead.

Sweet turned his head. She lay a short distance away, broken against the ground with a truck had throner rock and twisted glass jutted through her neck at the wrong angle, fine and unmistakable. He felt something hollow open up in his chest. He looked back at Mock's. The lichen was battered, body torn, furst singed in places, but there was no blood, not a smear, not a drop. Sweet stared, disorientated, dread curling tight in his gut. Who was then that he

Let's get moving.

Sweet's vision wavered as he tried to step forward, the world tilting unpleasantly. He looked up at Mok's But I'm bleeding, he said in a small voice. Mox didn't even slow down.

Then do a better job of keeping it inside you, he snapped. We'll patch you up once we find cover. It's not safe out here. Mox took the lead, moving slow and deliberate. Now every step measured, he paused, often, head tilting, nostrils flaring as if He sniffed the air and the ground alike, reading dangers.

Sweet couldn't sense. When Mok stopped. Sweet stopped. When Mok stepped, Sweet followed in his footsteps without question. One wrong move at him meant fire, shrappeel, and more than just bleeding. Sweet side burned. With every breath. He pressed his hand tighter, trying absurdly to keep himself together through force of will alone, he knew the truth of it. If he went down now, he wouldn't get back up. Fears sharpened him into something harder, fiercer.

Into the wound.

Sweet screamed, it felt like being filled with fire and gravel all at once, like someone patching cracked stone with molten iron whilst it was still attached to him. Mocks worked fast and careless, packing fragments of metal into torn flesh, pressing, sealing, forcing the wound shut with clinical precision. Sweet's hand clawed uselessly at the ground as pained, drowned thought, his vision swimming, breath coming, and broken gasps. He was terrified, absolutely certain

Oh, thank you.

Sweet, managed and he meant it, which felt strange considering he'd put him in this situation to begin with. Moxs grunted, ignoring his gratitude. Get some rest, he said, you'll need it. He didn't argue. Every part of him ached, screamed, begged for sleep. He slumped back against the cave wall, armor clinking softly, and at his eyes slide shut. Sleep took him quickly, rough and heavy, like an attack he was too tired to avoid.