SPACE PIRATES D&D #6 | "Roly-Poly Rumble"

Hello, everyone, Welcome to episode six of Space Pirates, Dungeons and Dragons. Who thought would get this far? Six whole episodes in twenty twenty six. It's also I think the two hundred and second episode I've ever done of.

D and D.

My god, I forgot to it would have been episode five. That would have been the two hundredth episode. I forgot to say that then, so now you know, happy but later to two hundred episode.

Everybody, My contrack gets read up at two fifty, so we gotta oh god, no.

Yeah, you'll be signed by which.

Is funny because I've never signed a single contract. I don't know why this keeps happening. I don't know.

Yeah, well, have you ever signed a contract like in your life? Oh yeah, oh okay, Yeah.

When I did my MCM the full screen back in twenty fourteen and I was twenty and I had no idea what the hell I was doing. Yeah, yeah, I remember that.

We've all had those times we signed multichannel networks in like are you?

They went out of business, so I don't have to worry about it anymore. Was cured, I think, I remember. Oh I never heard of that one. They just called YouTuber agencies.

Now, oh yeah, anyway, I'm here as always with Rick Flan, Joshtripace.

Hello chaps, we're going to be continuing to push through the food planet. I believe we've just opened a door and found the man behind the curtain who might quite possibly be controlling the giant gingerbread man with the human cog that is not, in fact the King.

I mean, it's a good suffering. I don't need to do the subbary anymore. I'm here with Sigma Swabadi.

I think this was a Wizard of Oz reference.

I'm here in the Vina Collar Quest.

I don't know what that is.

And I'm here with crack taking quater One. The ashcar know well about the Wizard of Oz, do they do?

You have your own versus of the Wizard of Oz and the Ask Kingdom.

Some rock people except you know, yeah, Dorothy, I mean the World City.

Right, yeah, rock and Stone Stone.

Yeah no, no, Dorothy is still a human. She's the protagonist. Oh yes, everybody else but a rock is a rock. The Munchkins are pieces of slate, you know.

It's just yeah, I mean the tin man. Oh I guess, yeah, oh yeah, yeah, I.

Guess Oz does sound like an ash com to be fun.

Yes, many Ashcar named Oz. My second cousin is named Oz.

Your second cousin, yes, so is that is that your cousin's son or the cousin.

I just looked into this. It would be my uncle's my uncle's like daughter's daughter or son would be something like. I was trying to figure this out. My own family recently related to somebody in my family is getting married, and I was like, how am I related to? Congratulations?

All right?

Yeah, yeah, so that is the Okay.

The Cragg family expands consistently every episode. Last times we found we had a younger brother. This is what we found out.

He is a Yeah, Micah is not a name. That's yes, it is clearly what are you talking about? No, it isn't Micah. That's a type of rock, you idiot, racist?

Sorry, Ashcar just named after types of rock.

They haven't, Yes, they got Crag is from is, yes, Okay, Mike is Crag a type of rock. Crag is named after a kind of rock formation. You just don't.

Sorry, Okay, so so how do you how are you spelling Micah?

However, the actual rock Micah is that I guess what I was asking. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know. Okay, sure your second cousin Micah, but the thing rock or mineral adjacent or related is Ashcar. Yeah, I love. They probably just call him Mike. Yeah maybe yeah.

Right, but this does imply you ought to have a cousin and an uncle slash aunt.

So you all have family, Rick, who is your father? Right?

I guess I'm married to the Book of King's Regulations back when I was in the army.

Right, that's that's my father and family. So your father is my family? All just medals.

I do really like being asked who your father is and then you answer who you're married to, because the implication is that otherwise you'd be married to your father.

Plan let's have complex ways. But now my my family, I replaced them are many years ago with the army.

Well, but you've lost that now, so.

Bad choice in the long run to be out a chapter gon on parents here.

Okay, So on the last episode, you guys opened a hidden door that you got with a critical perception. I'm saying that nobody has ever found this hidden door before.

Wow, and we're good.

That's how incredible. Sigma's perception was four.

Eyes a baby, four eyes or a nose.

Yeah, if if you had glasses, would you have four frames or two frames?

Oh?

I bet, I bet? Like the different pairs of eyes see differently. M Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I get like very focals. But it's just like the top ones and the bottom ones are different.

Confirmed that they actually can move independently, like the tops of the bottom set. I did that in the end, like I had mocks looked down with some of them and look ahead with the others. So I think you can kind.

Of do that.

Yeah, Mark does Does Sigma have a scouter on one of his eyes? Yeah?

Yeah, it's it's okay, Yeah, it's a scouter, all right, it's kind of.

Why not. Yeah, we can read power levels. What the book is a power level? I'm not getting enough. It just gives you a random number. It's not really like.

I assume it lets me see people's like biometrics and like if they have any techwar on the macan seat.

Oh that's cool, that's yeah, x ray, So as you use your scouter to scan the power level of Kaiser. So the last thing that happened was he opened up this wall and he found this small man I'm saying he is. He is a human, but he is like quite tiny, like a four foot man. He's got a big pink beard, big pink rolls on his head, and he's in his pajamas. He's got like sweet pajamas, and he's controlling the gingerbread mech through this computer setup and your scanner.

You scan his power level and it's.

Like zero oh, and he goes oh shizer as he looks around at you. And that's where we did to be continued. So that's where we're piking off sigma. What would you like to do?

I want to grab him by like the collar of his pajamas and pull him out of whatever device.

He's in as you approach him, if that's possible, because because to be fair, there is a little bit of space between you and him. It's not like you open the door and he's right there within grabbing range. As you take a step into the room, he hovers his hand over a butt and he goes, no.

Don't don't come any closer.

I shall push this.

Can I roll and never mind, my insight is so bad insight to see if, like you know, it's like a real danger or whatever. This button does.

Can I just see what the button does? Is it obvious? Is it level?

It's just a pink button in the shape of a gummy bear.

Oh, that seems quite good. It's a gummy bear. But that's not obvious for anything. Really, I don't think at that point. Yeah.

Well, and then, okay, Castleton, you're going to the rest of the party. Okay, I think we've found the guys there.

I am Kaiser. I am the king. It's not it's not the Kaiser. I think we found the Kaiser. Well, you mean the former king, because spot is the new king. He's the one sitting on the throne. Is not sitting on the throat.

I got off the throne because of all of its lights and stuff. I didn't like it very much. Lord, Okay, okay, I.

Need you to do something here, so it's very important somebody be on the throne.

I do want to remind you that the throne has turned into a bed. But I can lie down if you want.

Get on the bed.

Yeah, okay, I am a married man. Well as far as I know. Oh yeah, we got to deal with that later to okay, see, I guess he lies down on the bed. It's Lord bumbon out of the fridge. Yeah, yeah, okay, so get on one knee and said, my king, it's such an honor. We are here to protect you from assassins.

Hi.

I've put my faith in these men, true patriots, and I assume you've sent them to find me because I am the greatest lord amongst men.

Thank you.

I did not expect this lie to go this far.

Kai, what's the city you're talking about? Let's keep going. I don't even though who his mandy is. Lords? What I have so many lords? You know, it's hard to keep checkers the ball Lord bard Bogos?

What this is?

Monarchuy matifest? Hi, Kaiser seems distracted. Can I make a slight of handcheck to try and.

Pull them away from the console of the button that he's hovering over?

Yes, I think you can. Yeah, you can do a slide of hand here. Uh, you just got to beat his pass perception. So let's see you don't and nine a nine.

Suitably.

He then goes nine, do I have not a conspiration from the last session?

I don't think it might be able to add my Bardic inspiration to that role. How attractively, there's a reaction when a preacher makes a role.

My bad. I can't do it. I can't do cumming words to make him worse that it's slight to that. I don't want to do anything relating to that role, like pulling him out. But can Crag attempt to figure out what all of these machines and stuff like the gummy bear button? Can I make some kind of intelligence check on what all this is?

Okay, so you're you're you've now also come into this doorway. I guess, yeah, you're sort of you can't get any closer because he's he's saying he's going to push the button. Yeah yeah, I'm like, wow, this is okay. But the situation is is like liking, I didn't. I just called you by your.

Liking.

The Liking has attempted to get in there, right, he just failed to do so stealthily. So I do think? I mean the Kaiser says nine. He says, I am voting you. I will push this button.

I'm not going in the room. I'm just kind of ducking down to look into the room to see what the room looks like. Sigma to be fair, okay, yeah, but I'm like, what's going on in here? Guys. Oh boy, all right, there's a lot of stuff going on in here.

Uh look ahead in there as well.

What's going on? Nine nine of us? I will I will defer to the captain, cap captain, what do we do here? Sigma?

Let me just check that I've got all the understood. You have discovered a secret door. Phenomenal work on that, by the way, apparently no one's discovered this for a long time, remarkably well hidden. That pullback and we found a small man with a pink beard who seems to be controlling the entire kingdom. This is Kaiser the King, a man who has a title as his name, as

The question.

Is the big gum drop button that he's currently hovering his handover when he presses that.

The gum drop button, the gum drop button, what did you think would happen, Sigma?

Maybe like an army of little angry gummy bears run out and attack us.

I wasn't.

What I was thinking was far far nicer. That's worse than what I was thinking. But now I'm thinking that now that button just means that to me. So step one, we need to get this person out of this room to make sure the button isn't pressed. Can I just have a word with you over here, out of sight of everyone for a moment, please?

Yeah, Yi, Sigma? Okay, yeah, side.

I was gonna grab him and casting visibility onto him, okay, on the on.

The journey after the Twizzler situation, right they had, it just hasn't come up yet, So you do.

As Sigma walks away to go do that, I'm just gonna like distract or keep him at attention talking to me. He's like, Hey, my name's Crag, nice to meet you. You're here. Answer my questions? Why are you here? It is a very important evening for me. Well, I'm doing a job. I'm a working man kind of you know, I'm here just doing work job.

Yeah, yes, yeah, I uh okay, what were we to do?

Listen while Crags keeping them distracted the side and through leveling up reaching level three, can I reveal to the chat the subclasses we've all gone for.

Yeah, I mean I guess would you use an ability from it? You can?

Yeah, Yes, I've gone into the College of Law, which effectively allows me to add way more proficiencies. Use my bartic inspiration as cutting words as a reaction, I can make enemy rolls worth. And I also believe I know some spells. And one of the spells I went for was invisibility, which I'm going to cast onto Sigma. And they're like, Sigma, listen, excellent job. Trying to just distract him and get past him and grab him and throw him out the room might be a tab easier if you're invisible.

And when you say the word invisible, the waves around Sigma like switch and transform, and Sigma you just go completely into cloak into invisibility, as the power of Rick plans authoritay of voice touches into the magic in the in the eon.

Must, however, inform your Sigma that I also cannot see you. So I am assuming yourself stood in front of me still hearing this. Please go and get the small angry king out of the room with the big dangerous button.

Yeah.

Meanwhile to delve into the room after that.

Okay, Meanwhile, Lord Bond and irate, Lord Bonbon is going to approach rick plan and.

Go you you you lie for me.

The King doesn't even know who I am.

That's because Lord Bonbon, that is not the king. All right, it's the test, isn't it.

You're gonna give you a crazy qurazy persuasion here crazy The real king would be hiding inside a little room inside.

This main room. No, he'd be out there. And you must believe me because.

I'll give you this role bad.

I don't think you have anything here. No, hang on, hang on, hang on, let me look at my character can make more you know what? I think you're right on this one, hive or would it be deception?

It's the same, it's going to be the same thing. I'm not I'm not going to.

Let him roll.

He wrote it to in regardless of and I don't think it either way, So it's not good.

I'm going to just shouder. You know what, Lord Bonbon, that's a bloody good point.

You you've showered you feend why did you do this?

Keep saying words the longer you say in, the more time we buy.

I should I should have your struggle.

You should go and find someone who can do that. He's like tears in his eyes. He doesn't know what to do.

How do you do this to me?

I am Lord Bonbond, the Lord of Bonbond's. That means really good.

That means I'm a really good lord. Now I'm the king hates me because I let you in here, your swine. He's actually gonna charge you now, despite having no combat prowess.

I will roll his t hit.

What he got an eleven. I don't know if that hits you. I don't think it.

Thirteen.

Yeah, he sort of hits lifelessly against you, and he.

Generally slaps me.

All.

I know you've been tricked. It hurts, it's emotionally damaging. Yet let it all out. I'll get the guards, That's what I'll do. And he started. He turns and he's gonna running towards me. The guard that you sent away and let us into the castle. I'm sure they'd be absolutely thrilled to understand and learn that you were a major part of this deception.

Oh oh, you're not just You're not just with us, Lord bonbon, you're part of this life is over.

You have a wife who meets you, and you're made of sweets. I do not even have been an insult, but it is. Your king is a man who hides in a box in a room with a pink beard. You've been worshiping a gingerbread man with a giant cock.

Oh he's nout, just weeping on the floor.

My lord.

I'm not you, Thank God, I'm not you. But if I were you, I think I would just cut up in the corner and die. A point does this become vicious mockery.

I'm trying to save the supplies the chance he just dies genuinely.

At this point, I do think maybe you should roll your vicious mockery die because I I think, even because of your the way that you cast your spell as being just your authoritative voice, I do think you if you would sat someone hard enough, would you have which three damage?

You do? Three damage?

I'm going to have him do that saving throw, which is a flat D twenty for him, which he critically fails.

God, yeah, of course he does. He's there, which means he dies. So this is like a rough plan. Tomedy Central original roasting of Lord bon Bon. He's going full up, racked with pain jacks, one problem has been solved, racked with paying Ratford, guilt, racked with everything, his life over.

He collapses to the ground, blood starts dripping out his wealth, and he crap pulls down dead.

So his wife asked to say he died heroically or something. Don't tell her this story. It's not a good story.

So okay, now, not paying attention to that, I'm I'm talking to the Kaiser while Sigma is sneaking.

About to sneak into the room. I will whisper to Novena. I'm just gonna be like gun Levina, Sigma, I'm invisible. I'm about to attempt to grapple this guy and pull him away. Stop looking around. Try and grapple this guy and pull him away from the console. When you see him start to struggle with me, I might need you to jump in and help.

Okay, I have you all right?

Who is talking to.

Don't worry about don't worry about her anyway. That job you want me to do? What is it again? I pull out a piece of slate and like a little chisel to like write down the job.

My job he needs more men to face these VODs.

More men are I can get you, and I could get you an ashcr army. How's that sound you could do?

If the self check's really just to cover your sound, I guess, but yeah, go ahead and with advantage or whatever the yeah ten ten you'll find it's loud too.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, thank you, Craig. So now what you want an army? All right, I get you an army. I get your whole damn army. They go boom march in here.

Okay, okay, and this guy seems pretty weak. I'll be honest, I'm not terribly strong myself, so I just want to try and tackle him by surprise off the chair.

Yeah yeah, give me and away from the console.

Okay, give me a I mean it, just give me a roll to hit with advantage.

You don't have to do the damage right there. Okay, yeah with you?

Yes, So you just jump out of nowhere, grab him and rip him out of his chair onto the ground.

He goes out.

Doing that does take you out of invisibility.

Yeah, he goes an gets.

Off of me.

This is that That's the signal for Navena then to try and grab this guy because I don't think I can really.

Hold him down myself. I'll be honest. I'm just a little guy as well as far as jump in as well.

And yeah, give me like a strength from both of you, give me strengths. I mean, he's gonna he rolls a four, so I don't I don't even know if you need some guys roll you could just hold it down.

He's just this little bit crag, shouldn't I But that's fine, you guys all right, minus two strang.

Crag, could you give me a hand please, I'd like to start rolling the corpse of Lord Bonbon into the room that the king was in.

Okay, yeah, sure, I mean I can to help you with that, boss, absolutely, thank you, Crag. It's quite heavy. I'm used to handling corpses. I'm not happy about it, but I do have expertise here, all right. And I said this wouldn't happen. And here we are again, Yeah, here we are. I actually killed a guy. You didn't see it earlier, but there was this dude made a fire that was trying to get into the city. I threw him into the syrup and he died too. I

Think that if anyone comes into the room, it's going to benefit does to close the secret room off and not have a corpse of the Lord on our hands.

That's fair. I drag him into the room, I set him down, okay with them with the what's this button? I don't press it, but I'm like, hey, what's the spot?

That's what I'm about to discover with with Navena now like grappling this guy, I go, I just want to kind of like as an insurance policy in case this guy somehow gets a way back to his console with all the mysterious buttons on it, I want to somehow deactivate it, if that's possible.

Yeah, could you give me like a perception just to look around it? Yeah, sure, you're good at that, that's like your thing. Yeah fourteen I.

Have I Oh, you're right, because I have because you you forgot.

Yeah, exactly you Your scouter peop is plugged into the wall, so you can just unplug it.

Oh, you just take it. When you do that.

In the distance, you hear a giant thud.

Fuck.

I was on my way out to the city with him.

Did he probably probably hits a building?

Do we hear a thud? And then just the screams of townspeople? It just reacted the giant gingerbread be because it was. I think people are freaking out smashed into a building. Let's let's see if it happens again. I plug it back in. Do you plug it back in? Yeah? Do we hear?

I mean, you don't hear anything because it it's it needs to be moved by the by the console.

Okay, but yeah, he's uh yeah, let's let's leave it unplugged.

All right, Okay, you'll plug it again.

Yeah, I'm sure it won't hurt our cause if any civilians see it, their giant gingerbread king splayed out in the street.

You're now getting a cool from pocket with you. This gingerbread man just collapsed through some of the apartments next to us. Is important dead, I think, Duke crumbled. He was staying there. But I mean that's a good thing. Apparently, according to do groly Poly, he hated the guy. Listen, I've got I've got really good news for you, guys. Are you I love good news? Go for it, am my own speaker. This is private information. Hi Parker, Hello, Hello, I'm just in all your ears right?

Okay? Good? So I know so I know how you guys want to kill kill the the Kaiser sorry Kaiser the king.

Yes, Pocket, don't make that mistake. We've all been making that mistake, my goodness. Yeah, yeah, So okay, I got to be up in the air right now. We've kind of we've found him on him.

I don't think we've planned to kill him.

Da are you planning to kill me?

Is planning a coup Once he marries the daughter, he's going to kill Kaiser and then because he's wedded to the daughter, he will He's gonna, you know, essentially take over the.

Kingdom and Pocket. I can't believe I'm going to ask you this. What is your professional opinion of Duke Rolli Poly's ability as a leader. Is he a kind and generous man?

Fuck? Now, he's a prank He's been talking about Princess Marcy pad with words.

I do know whatever, repeat right from you, pocket exactly how far have you ingratiated yourself into the government of this.

You don't want to know the less I have gone to his trust.

Okay, I don't want to know that. Then there's blood on these bands, crack. I thought it was like some other stuff. Okay, all right, there's other fluids as well, some unidentifiable fluids and some other identifiable fluids.

Yeah, mostly syrup and ice cream.

Oh okay, yeah, that's fine. Can I have a team meeting for a second.

We have lord, kill the lord, capture the king, and apparently our skive a pet is fucking all of the other lords.

This is not a situation now, and digits just being in it is not my either, Boss. I don't see where this is going.

Honestly, what do you believe the best outcome for this would be the point of all of this. I believe was to stop the civil war between the warlords, and all we've done so far is and correct me if I'm wrong, kill a lot of people.

That is true. We have done that.

If you want to stop just we could work together. I also want to stop the civil var I don't want var. I would peace with peace, happy you do some kindness a lot?

All right, what's your plan on stopping the civil war? We killed the other warlords? Is simply that's not that's.

That's that's part of the to be fair, we're being hypocritical saying that we wouldn't do that.

We would, however, and Gastrophia needs to be rude by somebody who knows about the feudal pyramids. That's the best way to real historically, I'm reading about it.

I didn't see any the feudal pyramids.

Yes, us is some greed about as this is that vied?

Why true pyramid joke based on organizational stres isn't it?

Yes? Yes it's yes.

But but the thing about the few food pyramids is it's good have balanced, uh think.

Shut up. But the thing about the feudal.

Pyramid is all the powers at the top, baby, all the sweets at the top.

Okay, it's a good metaphor bloody well, may.

Mister Dan Daniel. What can I can I clock on what year we are in currently?

What space? Do you mean?

What?

Yeah? What's what's the year that we were in?

Because I do just want to get a grasp of how long ago, like moneterial of feudal time.

It depends on.

The planet, right, But yeah, I guess for Gastrophia because it's like Milton Keynes, it was new so it's like, yeah, that's arguably that's why they're still living other medieval times. But the the I get Listen, right, I can't give you a year based on our current time because we don't even know if this is the same universe as ours.

We don't know. I assumed it was.

But let's let's say hypothetically Earth did exist in this universe. This would be like maybe like ten thousand plus years minimum from that point, do you know what I mean?

Like that's like superhi history.

Yeah yeah yeah, But for some planets that's not superhistory. There will be some planets in this universe that are still in the medieval times because they're not a lot of Ashcar planets probably yeah, yeah, about a thousand years ago.

So yeah, I guess you're it's not linear as it. Yeah, yeah, take your thought.

Getting involved in our planets diplomacy would have been complicated.

Well, actually that is what I was about to say, Captain. I think some of the politics here are a little beyond us, but you know there was our secondary goal of shutting this whole system down.

Absolutely, Yes, Kaiser, there's a thing where people can't eat and there's a machine somewhere on the planet that's preventing them. Tell us about that. It's an incredible system.

It means that, you know, you can enforce laws way easier because usually it's eating is like the core thing about humanity. But that fear of not being able to eat and slowly feeling those effects means that people fallow live way easier. It's the one thing me and the other warlords agree on ohoheartedly.

Are you here in this case?

In that case, it's definitely going to be the one thing we absolutely continuously need to destroy.

Where is it? Fuck, I've I've I not tell you. Besides, you're not going You're not going to tell us that. You're one hundred percent not going to tell us that verdie. Okay, So.

What you do know is that each of the war oods has a key that it needed to deactivate the machine. Right, so he feels say he will say something along the lines of, I don't I've never needed to go to the machine it would have been my great great great great ancestor, who, like we've used to tell each other, was a time, but then it was like, well, why would we fucking bother?

We love we love the machine. I'd say, first of all, you're going French. Second, if you were, if you were to go to the machine, do you know the route? Do you know how to get there? Nine? Nine? N nick noan dame nine routine? Who does know that?

Size? Maybe one of the other world who cares a bit more. Sierra is most likely he's the most intelligent one.

And do you have a map?

Nine?

I see listen, so you're useless as one of the bearers of the keys. There you have the key, one of the five keys.

I mean, yes, you could put that, Veddy, but I'm not going to give that to you unless you threaten my life.

I mean we've kind of done that. Could you could you kill Kaiser? Yes, it would be my great pleasure. Hold on, okay, don't make it. Listen, please stick, but do we don't We don't have to do this. Just give us the key. Okay. I think he will thank you. I just I just will fold.

I mean, you've got him, You've really got him in such a videable position that he never, like you know, he expected you guys would have to fight bridge these sort of things.

He didn't even get.

His Did did you kill Carl Senior?

Nine? Nine?

I think never I've liked the Why would I kill Carlsinia when I had a wedding already planned? If I was going to try and start a civil war and started far after zavetting. Honestly, that's all I the main thing I want to happen right now. I want to make sure I could still ruin my kingdom and have zavetding, and also, you know, end the civil war by taking over all the other wolords and so expending my kingdom is very good. If I if you were to put a gun to my head, which you have, and ask

Yeah we were there? Actually happened? You were there? Yeah?

Right?

He didn't he looks at your feet.

I mean he goes he looks at your feet and he's like, I thought they recognized the feet, because that was if you remember, they didn't the camera wasn't all your faces, it was on the body, and so just showed the lower legs of you guys.

I mean, I feel like my feet would kind of be give a giveaway on that one different species of feet.

Have you got a moment, Yeah, crag, I completely understand your desire to not kill. It's going to be a great boon for us to be able to not kill as we go. But this is one of the five people who has enforced this effective you know, ideology and feudal lordship, keeping food out of people's mouths for effectively years. He's clearly one of the most evil people on the planet, and if we don't take care of him now, then I hate to say it, he might come back and do something.

I mean, he told us. He told us too, he gave us the key, right, and I think we could just he doesn't have any power anymore. I don't know, he could just like go out there and live as a you know, just a dude. I guess. I mean, what's he going to do? You know what that's true, Kaiser, how many people have actually ever seen you? Is the this appearance of me? Just it's just the dukes?

Excellent, fantastic. So all right, we're just thrown out onto the street. Everyone's going to assume you're a raving lunatic and.

Not the king. All right, Kaiser, do you want to live and die or die and live?

But listen, I'd still be what do you do? Are you taking over my castle?

No, Kaiser, we're taken you out of the castle, putting you onto the street and making you live as one of the citizens that you've been so carefully taking care of the last couple of years.

But what do you doing to my castle?

Then?

I don't care about your castle.

We're going to go and find a way to get to the machine that stops people eating.

Wait this and I can, I mean, we could probably turn it into like you know, low cost like condos, I mean, like you know, or like a homeless shelter.

Let's I can, just I can just get back into my castle. You doing what I've been doing?

Then?

Right, Like I just talked to my daughter and one of the dukes I loved.

Especially, you should go see Duke ro Poly.

Yes, absolutely, say it, but your sorry. Navina was saying something. I heard it over the you thing.

We could put him in the fridge.

Don't worry. The fridge is always here. We always have the fridge. The boulder is Duke Roley poly with you pocket and he's sleeping right now. He still hates the king.

Yeah, well, I mean he hasn't changed his mind. Fantastic right, we might be bringing you the king.

It's the best thing anyone's ever said to me. Fantastic crack. How about this.

We won't kill the king, however, we will put him in the fridge and maybe use him later.

That works fun for me. Also, I want to stop at a I want to stop at a gift shop. I want to start putting like little magnets on the fridge to kind of like track our journey. You have a gift shop in your kingdom, shop in the castle. I listen.

I do not depreciate the way this conversation is going.

If you if you had, I just saved your life, so I would really just shut up at this point.

Onward, I was going to shoot you. He was going to shoot you. He would have done it straight away. He's still Sigma is a cold blooded killer.

I've seen him straight up kill seventeen men bare handed. If my absolutely, if he started fighting then he woke up.

If my actions die or get in a fridge and give you the key cut, I guess. I guess I don't really have a choice. He looks around and of the fridge and he hands over a key card.

This is my key I'll give it to identify that. This is actually like the oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, here you go. Yeah, you guys know there's more better than I do. It's not like like a cost card membership that he's just pulled out.

I don't actually think he's that smart enough to do that, but that is I mean, might as well inside your.

Double check, it's probably yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, if anyone has some insight that they want to roll, I mean, you're the.

Only oneho's suspicious, so you give me the Unless it's a crit, we also just would not fucking Knownio.

While we get to where we need still in the fridge.

It definitely looks like a key card of some kind there and it is. It's like pink a.

Right, guys, in the fridge, you get where was it? Ship? Was it chip or Spud.

Spud Russet. Yeah, he's here. Yeah, he was on the best and aren't they Yeah?

Yeah?

And Crumb is like sitting on a chair near the bed. Yeah.

Do you guys want to stay here or come with us? The castle is now free.

Crumb turns and says, I mean, I don't have any reason to stay here.

I I might as well come with you. That's right, if I hang on, Sigma, did you find a way to operate the giant gingerbread man using the machine in the room that's now got a Lord Bonbon's corpse in it? It's in that console somewhere. If I think it around with it, I could probably figure it out. Is it worth us leaving one of our chaps here? Not ours? Obviously?

And then maybe in the future we use a giant gingerbread man as an ally?

Who's better at controlling spud our chip? Which one? Or you were better at controlling a giant? My name is Crumb. Crumb, that's the one.

Yeah, Crumb handles big food all the time.

That is true, he didn't.

I mean, I am a scientist after all, and I am you know, as Davida says, I, I have expert my expertise is large food.

Yes, the orange pilots are giant gingerbread man and in effect become de facto king for a while.

Well, I've been waiting for the day for somebody to ask me that. Of course. I mean, how hard can it be? This is where you you smash cut to like people dying in the city's gingerbreads, like walking around like a tackle titan.

Okay, so great. He walks into the into the room squared away.

You're plugging the console back end, and I assume, yeah, turns on sigma. Do you want to give me in the talent?

Yeah?

Sure, Crumb has like a ear piece.

Right, No he didn't, he didn't get one. Sorry, someone will have to Crumb.

It's been phenomenal adventuring with you for these last few days. We've we've left, We've cried, people have died. Are you going to be comfortable staying in this secret room? Ignore the corps in the corner piloting a giant gingerbread man with and I cannot overstate this a human penis.

I mean, you're coming back for me, right, I'm not going to be stuck here forever.

I swimming back for you. Crumb, absolutely I have an idea. Why don't I just like, because I'm gonna be with you guys, why don't I just lend him my calm unit and then he could talk to you and then like you know, you can film me in on the loop whenever, you know, something happens. I think it's more important that he has a calm unit right now. The Crag's got a good point there, Navena. I agree with that, yes, of course, Yeah, all right, and I take off my Yeah,

Yeah, with a seventeen, you can understand the controls. It's actually quite simple. It's like a Microsoft flight simulator, but for a gingerbreadic.

Yeah all right, Michauld, you very quickly teach Chrumb exactly how to pilot this thing.

Please.

Yeah.

I think I'll point out what I can figure out to Crumb, I understand, yeah, yeah, I zoom.

He can figure out most of it as well on it.

Yeah, he starts putting down a leaven and you can see the gingerbread Man sort of rise on the screen and you could see the debris underneath him, and people rudd it around and screaming, and he goes, all right, what do you want me to do with this crime?

Right now? Just kind of the whole fire, And when we need you to do something, we'll let you know.

Oh and here's here's the button that I could talk through it.

Hello, his voice, it's Crumb's voice, because if you remember when Kaiser was talking for gingerbread Man in the in the church, it was just Kaiser's voice.

So, and then there's a need to you need to pretend to be the king.

Oh fuck, I'm not very good at that. I'll try. I'll give him, like I guess performance eight. He goes, I uh, glug and gag.

Crumb, Perhaps while you are masquerading is the king, the best thing would be to stay.

Quiet, all right. Oh and here's another button. I can hear what's going on like outside of gingerbread met and he turns up. But on you just here, I'll leave that one.

It's probably.

Calm down, everybody everything is fine, everything is is really sare goot we go absolutely notices that there's a book on the desk that says handy German phrases that doesn't make any sense.

No, it says, it.

Says, it says how to speak like the Kaiser, and then it has the word the crusted out.

Yes, find the English phrases in a German perfect the Kaiser Kaiser King. He said that one of the other warlords knew the the route to reach the giant strange food limiting machine. Who was, well, should we head over and have a chat with them?

I thought we were going to a wedding.

No, we don't care about the wedding, craw I was.

I was thinking about like a present to get. I was gonna pick up some flowers at the gift shop or something. I was already I need to ask this question again. You do realize you're still not an emissary. I just wanted to go to a wedding, all right. When my sister got married, it was a beautiful chas.

Oh yeah, okay, I think I think Crag might have every type of family member there is.

Yeah, oh okay, he's got siblings.

How about this drop off, We drop off the king at King roly Polis in the in the company of Pocket and then do croly Poly and then we go to Sierra wherever she might be.

Yeah, okay, all right, so you guys are gonna leave the castle. I guess the same way you came in. Bear in mind there are still gods in the castle. They just uh you had to like stealth through them. But I'm gonna just ease of simplicity, the same steuth froes you came in.

I'm ending it there. Crag's a middle choud. He has a little brother and an older sister. There there's no more there's no more siblings.

So Navida will will wish her crumb good luck as well just before before she leaves.

Like, great luck, Crumb, You're going to do great.

Oh I appreciate that, Levina.

Remember practice self restraint.

Uh right, you're talking about the huge cock on this gingerbread BG.

Right, Crumb, you've got your hand on the dork button to everyone.

I'm going to close the door now.

Okay, Well wait, as you closed the door, it becomes a wall.

Again, and he's like, I had over this your crumb. Wait, wait, I don't know how are.

You over this and you guys are just leaving somewhere.

He'll figure it out. He's good with levels. Smart.

Yeah, all right, okay, okay, So you guys do this. You self out the same way you came in, which was as spherical objects. So you roll out of there and you go through that side entrance that's no longer guarded, and you you know from what Pocket said before, if you remember that, they're at the Shortbread apartments. But you could also just follow the destruction because the building's next to the short had broad departments, so you can see the Gingerbread meta at a distance, so you just have

While we're doing this.

I just want to quickly point out we took one of the key cards from Kaiser, one of the five that apparently when it's turned to the machine. Did we take the other one? When Carl Juniors had blew up, he would have had the other one. Carl Senior, Yeah, no, he might have had it on him.

Carl Jor. We didn't know anything. About that at that point. But you know, we'll have to figure that out at some point. Bloody hell. Okay, right, we're gonna have to find the other four of these at some point.

Yes, I think it makes sense that Carl Junior would be our last call for that.

Absolutely. I think we're just talking. Okay, we go all the way around, makes good, good point, sure, Okay.

I don't want to say you've lost your communication with Carl Junior because Crumb's car exploded and that was like he had he had his whole like communication set up in there with with Carl Jr. So you guys run to the Shortbread apartments and it's it looks incredible. I mean, you guys, picture a shortbread add windows at a door Banne incredible. One of the best like confectionery items is shortbread as well. I think we can all agree.

I'm just gonna google that really quick because about oh it's those things, okay.

Yeah, lovely differm and tea are great.

The buildings next to it destroyed.

The gingerbread mechs standing over and it's just sort of like t posing there because he Drumb doesn't quite under control it yet. So just and Crumb then goes, oh, hey, guys out right, so he says it in your ear Oh hey, guys, I see you on the monitor now, cr I just from the point of view of these civilians, they've just seen their king collapse into a building and is now just standing there saying stuff in a completely different voice and accent that makes no sense.

I will, I'll say, I'll say in my earpiece, I'll be like Crumb. Perhaps, you know, usually the king disappears into the woods at night. Maybe you should do the same for now, keep up their appearances.

Right, But wasn't that gingerbread dragon in the woods? Watch out for the dragon. I was just gonna say, yeah, maybe you could make friends.

I don't know, right, well, just watch he is interesting that the king made a giant gingerbread man when he had a giant gingerbread. I wonder if they're related somehow. And he starts working, all right, let me walk it just steps on somebody right now. Sorry, I haven't got quite that all of them everything sorted.

I go check on the body he just just stepped on.

Yeah, he's just some some chocolate bar man who's like.

Oh, I don't know, I'm like Navina could you say a prayer for this poor son of a bitch. Right now, I'm like, like something, I feel so bad for that guy. How damaged is he?

Is he?

Like is he you know, like like a kitt or.

He's like little squares had come off him, so he's like ins of little squares?

How many squares? Forty two?

There's no saving him.

I mean, he's so he's dead as ship. He just uh yeah in a way anyway, so your death will not be in vain. I saw. I did just gloss over the fact that this is mental.

The only person who is in this kingdom who is actually made of food, the only person whose kingdom is actually made of food, is the automatous automaton king that isn't actually a person.

Yeah, he is an actual chocolate. Yeah, well he's the only one in the whole kingdom. And now he's dead.

Sorry, Gingerbread make leaves into the forest. He says good bye everywhere, oh sorry, as.

I think goes over the turn to everybody, and I'm like, guys, this is fucking weird. Yeah, there's a weird thing that we're doing. Oh god, yeah, right.

It's a weird castrange new planet.

You know, crack.

Sometimes I think I should have let that tanker crash into the planets.

Yeah, entire moral.

They say travel broadens the mind, but so far I've come to one planet and I'm thinking we just leave and nuke it from orbit.

Rick listen, I've been to a lot of different places. I went to college, I've done a lot of jobs, and a lot of people have died. But I'll keep on doing it because at some point people are probably not gonna die. You know what, crack, I needed that, thank you. That was important. People need us.

And right now what we need to do is go into those apartments and have a long sleep.

Okay, so you bring the fridge of kaiser up the stairs of the apartment, or the elevator. We're in the future. You guys all get into the elevator and it goes up. It plays elevator music that goes.

Like at the point of the elevator, Navina will like nudge Sigma.

For what it's worth, I'm having quite a bit of fun.

It's it's It hasn't been terrible so far.

I didn't finish with that.

Get out that much as a as a child, you know, it was very secluded. My planet. So this is all different, but but.

Fun well out of it, because because I'm in here and I weigh like a lot, I'm slow. This is definitely over command. Oh yeah.

It gets to the top floor where the duke is, and you leave, and you can know which apartment the Duke is because he's got two guards posted outside of it, and they're standing there in their candy armor.

One of them is.

A vellinari, one of them is a human, and they sort of look at you and they say.

If you want to, if you want, okay to the other one.

I had a long night. It is a oh. And the other one goes, yeah, he drinks a lot of that you know that that sugar water. So yeah, if you want to talk to the Duke, come by in the morning. He's a he's asleep right now.

General a level with you will also going to be asleep very soon. Have you seen a small skivett about? Yeah, Hi carries two guns. God, remarkably close to the Duke. Probably annoying, but you grow used to him.

Right, So.

Pocket has been in disguise this whole time, right, I don't think they realize he's a skivet. I think they just think he's a small man because he's been in full armor. So they will respond by saying, no, we don't. We've not seen a skippet.

Okay, that's absolutely fine, right, I've not got enough time to explain what's going on here, but we're on your side.

We're going to head inside, have a nap, and be gone in the morning. You guys be relieved. You're relieved of duty. We'll take over from here.

I think at this point though, the door will open slightly and you will see a small guy just head to toe with golden armor, and he will go, what's going on out here? Go? Oh, oh, don't worry, guys. These are honored guests. These are the men he hired for tonight's activities. And the two of the guards look at you guys, and they like look at each other.

And they go, wha.

Well, I mean, we're not going to judge.

We are a man that we're hired for tonight's activities. I don't like the way they said or he said activities, crag.

I need to again address this. We're not actually doing the activities.

We're not going to the wedding crack. There are other things we're doing on the planet.

I wanted to go to that wedding, all right, okay, so he they they turn round to the small guy and goes, all right, lord jelly baby, we'll let him in, and you follow this golden armored man into the room. And he shuts the door and then he takes off his helmet and it is Pocket, and Pocket goes, okay, why did you not call me when you got here? Why do you try and talk to the front guards.

I'm going to be honest, Pocket, I thought it'd be far easier than it was. Great to see you're alive anyway, Well done fully, gold armor?

How well?

So he had a like a close advisor, Lord jelly what's his name, jelly baby. I don't know what that is. So, but he was a small guy. You know, he might have been a baby, like a boss baby. He might have been like a child or something. But I just I just killed him and took his armor. These lords are really weak. If you ever run into them, you know, you could say a mean thing and they'll die instantly.

I wouldn't know anything about that. Now, Pocket, we're going to have a nap. Are we safe in this room?

At least? Well?

He turns around and now you can see on the big double bed, king size bed is a giant man.

You know.

He's got swirly brown hair, brown and red hair, and he's sleeping and he's snoring.

Well, I don't want to wake him up. That's well, I mean, I guess so.

But as long as we get up before the duke wakes up, I'm not going to be able to explain all you guys.

What happens when the duke wakes up Pocket.

He gets married, Well, obviously he's going to wake up quite early to get ready for the wedding, probably around seven.

In the morning, that makes sense.

Yeah, the wedding's around ten or eleven. He's got to get ready and then he heads on heads on out.

Pocket.

Is there another room in this apartment block that maybe we could all go and sleep?

Are you only here to sleep?

There's so many places in the city you could have found a sleep.

There's there's one. Just nice you were here.

We're also here to deliver the king.

You got the king. It's a working progress plan. Well wait, why wait, why didn't you mention that in the first place?

Rick, You're just gonna think I'm going to tell two guards that are standing on the front door that we've got the King in a fridge. Wit said, they haven't heard that one twenty times a day.

Tell me now, by the way, I mean, you came in here just talking about sleeping. You had the King in the fridge.

We do, and as soon as we use the King in the fridge, we have lost our bargaining chip. You only get to use the King in a fridge once.

Yeah, that's true. Well okay, Well, what's your objective with the King of the fridge.

Well, the plan is collect all four other access cards to the machine that's preventing people from eating.

Wait, you're going to do that before you use the King of the Fridge. I kind of sworn you were going to say, collect all four other kings and stuff from the fridge. That would have been We're going to connect all four access all four other access cards that are required to access the food the machine that stole people from eating food. During that process, we may at some point encounter a level of resistance that could be passed via the reveal of a King in a fridge.

I thought that we were here to deliver the king into the hands of his enemy.

That's true.

Same, but if we give the king across, the King is definitely going to get killed, and Crag isn't keen on that.

That's not our fault.

That's not our fault at all.

But we can avoid a bit of death here by potentially having a bit of death later.

He wouldn't kill him just for the wedding.

He would absolutely kill him before the wedding.

Maybe he's marrying his daughter. He would have to be there to give her away.

He's not killing the daughter, he's just killing the king.

No, but he would have The king would have to be at the wedding to give his through away. That's our weddings work. You cannot.

As far as far as anyone cares. The king is a giant gingerbread man.

Crum is going to give her away.

I assume that he doesn't know that crumbs in the chair. So maybe Duke roly Poly was planning I mean, I imagine Duke roly Poly was planning on killing the king post wedding.

Okay, how about this? How about this? I think this will pease everyone and Craig, you'll like this plan, I'm sure I will.

Boss. We open the fridge right now. We supply the king to pocket. Here. Pocket gives the King to duke was it roly Poly? Yeah?

You know like that Juke roly Poly as a gift, thus ingratiating you into Juke roly Poly's service even more, which gives us leverage in the future. The King at this point is not dead. We find somewhere safe to sleep, have a nice long rest, get all prepared, go and find all other four key cards as fast as we bloody well can. Then after the wedding, which crack we will make.

Yeah, so you've got to get the four key cards. Pre wedding we have you have seven the wedding nine hours.

Yeah that's great. Eight hours to sleep and then one hour to tie it all together. It is perfect. Yeah, right, new plan in the fridge parket the king Parking gives the King to do roly Poly.

We go and have a nap somewhere that isn't here. Tomorrow morning, we go to the wedding, observe and joy maybe even revel who knows. Then after the wedding has happened, we kidnap the king again.

Put him back in the fridge so he's not killed.

Then we return to finding all other four key cards.

We didn't like it the king away from the first place. I'm just happy I get to go to the park it park it? Do you think I could be part of the wedding? Does he have a best man?

We?

Does he have a best man? Or is it you? I assume you've already kind of got I think it might be me. I never inquired about it. I didn't think I was going to the wedding. Well I was going to be a groomsman. Then oh, okay, we could do that. Listen, I don't think we should go to the wedding.

I think we should sleep here and in the morning, when the Duke wakes up, we give him the king. We our group ingratiate ourselves to the Duke, who will no doubt become the king. And about the day we have the key card, we can leave this kingdom with a potential ally here running the place, and then we just go and we get the next key cards as soon as possible. We don't need to attend the wedding. We don't need to keep the king with us. Ah, we can wipe our hands clean of this king.

I enjoy the simplicity that you're going for here, Sigma. However, we have it on all forward from Pocket. This, this Jukerolepo is a much worse person than the previous king was. That's not feel We may be going kind of out of the frying pan into the fire here.

That's two things. He may be a worse person, but he will be an ally to us. And once we have all the key cards, he won't have any real power.

That's a good point. And he does seem absolutely huge. He's also if he's not going to move. If I'm part of the wedding and become his friend, maybe I could change him.

Spot is going to make the point here that I think, even if the food system is demolished, the you know, dictatorships still exist on planets without this convolated food system.

Yeah, sure, I really care about the politics of this planet.

We just want to leave, right. I've got an idea. I've got a plan.

We open the fridge right now, give the king to Pocket, have a nap here, wake up in the morning the Duke wakes up, we present the king with pocket as well. We all become Juke roly Poly's friend. We go to the wedding, enjoy the wedding revel. I know you're gonna hate in Sigma. Just smile for a few hours. It'll be fine. Crag, have a good time, Navena, do some religious stuff. We watch the wedding happen, he gets married. Then we go and find the other four key cards

See bass, I love that plan. Let's go with that. I hope for that. Okay, guys, log rest a right, so sleep. The morning comes, you've all recovered to.

HP and all your stuff, all right, And the Duke roly Poly starts to stir in his bed and he opens his eyes on this wonderful morning, the day he is to be married.

I'm standing next to him with a hot towel. You go, Oh the thug's going on here? Oh, good morning. I am My name's Crag. I am tasked to be your groomsman, have a hot towel, and we have a nice shower ready for you. Over here, we're getting ready for your wedding. Sir.

Pocket's gonna run up now and go eather people I hired to make things more comfortable to you, my leegh And they've come bury gifts. He turns around. I think some of you might still be asleep, and he's like, I can't.

Get anna anyway.

You've come burying gifts to me, the Duke roly Poly. What gift could possibly be greater than any gift I have been given before?

Well, Duke roly Poly, we are aware in your humble presence, that's and correct me if I'm wrong.

You are going to be marrying the princess? Is that true? Yes? I am hell lovely mudy pen Skin would be all mine.

All right with her after the wedding is entirely up to you all. And I have been told on good authority, and we're all friends here that you're not exactly friends with the current king. Is that correct?

He looks suspiciously over it at at Pockets, and Pocket goes.

Don't worry, they're on our side. Oh well, yes, yes, indeed, Well are you here to help me.

I'm here to show you that we don't need to help you. Happy wedding gift. I'd like to just open Crag's fridge.

Yeah, I got right out.

Yeah, he's with g He's like, oh, Gril Martha, Rack will be so please, and he walks over to the kaiva and he's like, oh, and with about his tinderbread man.

We have placed a proxy in control of that, and it will be handed over to you posthaste, as soon as the wedding is completed. But right now it's no danger to you.

Amazing, So I can kill him now and you can affiliate the wedding through that dinnerbred man.

This is the best day ever.

You humiliate him one step further and you make him officiate the wedding because he'd hate that.

Oh he really would, he really would. But I'd rather just kill him.

That's made zob And he pulls out a giant, say, a giant stick of roly poly, you know, like a long roll.

How big is this guy compared to me?

He's smaller than you, but he's bigger than everyone else. He's a large man, all right, fair point.

He's in the fridge. I don't know if he would. Actually it is like an industrial sized fridge. But still if he's a big.

King two pudgy. Unless anybody stops in, he's going to kill the king.

I'm like, well, okay, now, wait a minute, you, sir, I don't think that's a great idea. Wait, wait are we letting him do this? Guy's like, Sigma, what's going on here again? Yeah? All right, he is still waking up. Yeah, okay, listen, I'll be gonna be straight up. I'll be honest with you, Sigma. I was really excited to go to this wedding. I was more lost in my own fantasy. This guy seems like kind of.

A Listen, Craig, and I like, patting back, you can still go to the wedding after this.

Okay, he's gonna okay, he's gonna stab the king.

Then was a regius size situation going on?

It divida doesn't seem okay, crag, do you want to stop the killing? You're the only one who wants to stop it, apparently.

I I'm just I'm conflicted.

Honestly, you don't have a little time to be conflicted. He's swinging so so the rolling poly rolling pin comes down hard on the Kaiser and Kaiser like, yeah, fuss.

Is going on my dog nine.

His head explodes across the fucking fridge, blood everywhere. It's incredible, Thank you. You will all be third in my new kingdom. Oh wonderful. I guess they don't need the help of Grilmuth the wreck after all.

But a deal, the deal through. Will you be at the wedding? Come and crumb, Yes, good morning, Crumb. Do you know where we are? Remember the apartments that you saw us go into.

Yes, the the shipbread apartments.

Yes, I need you to come and stamp on them with you in there.

No, we'll be out of here in about five minutes, but I think the thing you're going to be standing on definitely won't be.

It would take them a while to get into the city. That the mech quite slowly, but everybody the apartment.

Plan is currently turned into jam and is across the floor. Now we have no king in the fridge. We've put associopath in charge.

So captain Captain. That was the plan was to die.

Now now we've got the fridge. Now nothing's in the fridge at all. Now we have to just convinced think people are in the fridge. The king dies, we were going to keep him as long as possible.

The king is going to be cray poorly in approximately one day, and then the King of the Swiss Kingdom will be our ally until such a time as so you.

Think a man this insane will be our ally?

I mean do you guys haven't work for me now right? That's the whole point, is like to me? We will yeah, yes, well, oh all right, thorry your your Grillmarthur Racks.

Guys, I should have known this was so.

I appreciate that. Let Rack know that the job has been done and the kingdom will soon be under his control.

Absolutely, we will do ste. You're right, we should probably going to chorte of grill master Rack. He seems to be the one that's in charge of about all of us.

Yes, maybe that's car right, Yeah, probably need him.

Yeah, I believe if you look around, some of the king is on you.

Oh oh gosh, oh.

Classic rolling then yeah, well.

I must you know I've been I've been working out if you notice.

We can tell.

Yeah, believe maybe I've got to get ready for my wedding and you will I know what you will hear was a change Lord jelly Baby could stay.

I don't mind him seeing.

I think we all maybe need a bit of a break. Shall we go to the wedding?

I would love to go to the wedding. I grab is there like a bow tie laying around? I could just kind of like put on my like you so just yes, I have a little I have that little like the little part, like the frill of it. But that's all I got, stigma.

Shall we just let our hair down for a night and go to a lovely wedding, get back to liberating this planet from whatever fuxed up system it seems to have.

Yeah, let's let's just have a part.

Okay, wipe the ex king off you and let's go and enjoy the wedding.

Okay, Well, you get invitations from the Duke because he's you know, it's his wedding.

Thank you, So he there. Unfortunately you will are you guys doing this? Oh? This princess Marty's apparent like you guys are like you know each other really well?

Right? Never we never well if he has to agree to it, that the other though, But I mean I've never met her before in my life, but he'th freshly of age of marrying.

If not like the way you said that, I'm not trying like the way anything is said.

Can you see what I'm saying when I say sometimes you just have to kill people based on vibes before what they've done. If you killed and knock him out of a four story building, are you doing that?

Fuck?

Fuck this guy? Fuck this guy?

All right, I will say, do grony Poly isn't isn't your I think I just cut myself.

Do grotty Poly isn't your? Age? Guy?

He is of some strength, right, so this will be initiative if you're fighting croly Poly.

I mean this guy. I do not think this is a good idea. You should not do this. I'm gonna say that right now. All right, my plan. I knew about this fucker, knowing about him. We've just said we're leaving. You will die. He will die eventually. You don't have time to have a team huddle.

He is telling you to get out his his apartments.

All right, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, okay, so allow, yeah, we leave, we walk out. I'm like, all kay, now, you're this guy.

Can we just go out of character for a moment, just in case there was a misedbeat in the previous sort of role player session.

Yeah, no, go ahead.

The the plan that everyone here agreed, yeah, was to let this guy kill the king. He marries the king's daughter, becomes the king, then we kill him with the giant gingerbread crew.

Well, yeah, getting him with the giant gingerbread man after we had collected all four key cards, and only.

If he was a bad king. Well, it's clearly a piece of so yeah, he's clearly a piece of ship. Yeah. Yeah, you know what, has anyone spoke to Princess Malespan and asked her what she thinks about all of this? Yeah? I think that might be not a bad idea.

Uh yeah, it's I are you taking pocket with?

You know, we're going to leave him with the duke. I think Pocket is probably safest with the duke. I mean, he could probably take care of himself, to be honest.

With you, Okay, okay, So yeah, you go down the elevator. All right, Wait, do you want to go visit? Is that what you're doing pre wedding is visiting Princess Marsupan?

We should go and that's an option? Yeah, yeah, Well you don't know. It's a wedding.

Yeah, he be at the wedding, so we can speak to her at the wedding.

Do you want to go to you want to be there? Yeah, but she has to she hasked to.

H Yeah, so are you going to go into the castle pre wedding and hope that she turns up early, which she probably will.

Well, we should go see Lady Bonbond and let her know that her invitation is open.

If we go and see Lady Bonbon, we will also have to explain that her husband is no longer he's now gone gone.

Yeah.

This this series is.

This Yeah? Oh, minimum, this is great. I think is going to be one hundred episodes. This is like the first major arc. No one will be alive on this planet. Three people.

Okay, imagine if Holcake was first. Right in that case, that's a really good point. Maybe we should sneak back into the castle and wait for the princess and ask her what she actually thinks of all this.

Yeah, that might get her opinion. That might be a good idea.

Yeah, Sigmte, I need you to understand that she stands around and says that she absolutely hates this guy and doesn't want to go through with the wedding and we are killing him.

But think about it. I agree with that.

If we kill the duke, now there is no there is no king in this candy kingdom.

There is a queen. I don't know. Yeah, I couldn't, couldn't like Marzapron just take over. Is there a queen in fact right now there's a queen?

Hmm, there will be.

I don't know how the succession works.

I was just gonna say, if she marries the duke and becomes the queen through marriage, then we killed the duke. She's the queen anyway.

But Vina, you are a queen, all right, you guys, okay, get into the castle. So you guys are going to the castle. You have the invitation specifically from Duke Rodi Poly so you should be able to get in by just saying that you are part of his entourage. He needs to get in to sort. You don't need to

Prepared candy maids of honor.

Yeah, and she yeah, she She looks up at you and she goes, oh, hello, are you it's one of you Duke roly Poly or one of you Doke roly police men.

No, we are. This is the emissary of Duke roly Poly. Nice to meet you. I am the Amazon area of the Duke roly Poly.

And the ashcar she's got today, they're quite goofy, I guess, but fair light yellow hair that comes down. She's dressed quite resplendently. She looks up, she goes, oh, okay, well, it's so nice to meet you.

Oh I'm so yes, I understand. I was just here to send like a quick survey on a scale of one to ten. How attracted to Duke roly Poly are you?

I mean, I've never met him, but you know it's he must be down for my father and this is the this is this is the role that I've taken as a as a princess of the kingdom. It comes with a lot of privileges and unfortunately, you know.

So on a scale of one to ten, how happy are you with this arrangement? Oh, I mean, I can't.

I can't possibly say my opinions are not supposed to be taken into a consideration here. There's more to.

Life than marriage. That's a problem.

Okay, I'm just I'm just concerned because I haven't seen my father in a while, and he's supposed to come and talk to me before the before the wedding, princess.

That's a question exactly what your father sent us to talk to you about.

Actually, Oh, so you're not Duke Rodi police men. You're my father's men.

We we have multi classed into represented and your father.

Oh so you're like mediarities meat, meat, you're like in between people. Your wedding planners were wedding planners.

We're wedding. Yes, yes, What do you think of the wedding plans so far? Scale of one to ten.

Oh, it's it looks incredible. I love the decor. I love the sweets, the candy, all of that. Yeah, well it's going great.

Idea, wasn't it, Sigma. You you said we should have sweets and candy here.

It just seemed right, you know, you.

Bet there was very kind of you. I love sweets and candy. When me and my father when when we were younger, I remember he used to hide little bits of candy in the in the in the sugar soil, and I had to run around and find them, and.

Oh it's what I was. Was he a good father?

Oh?

He was the best.

I mean, it's one of the reasons why I I'm fine with this situation, because as long as it makes him happy and the kingdom happy. I just want what's best for my people and for my father.

I see, Sigma, Can I have a word.

A lot of there's a lot of a lot of this, so you guys, God will be yeah, crag Sigma.

Yes, yes, I feel that she might be only going through with this wedding because her father told her to go through with it.

I have gleamed that as well. Boss. Yes, Now I just bear with me, just just this blue sky. Think with me here. What if her father were to walk up to her and tell her that he's proud of her and can't wait to see her running the kingdom on her own because he needs to go on a long journey and then he leaves, never to be seen again. Well that would be great, boss, but he's how are we going.

To do that?

Crag?

You're not going to believe this. I believe I can disguise myself as the king. There anybody conversation.

I do want anybody to do this.

Guyself doesn't let you change your height, and he is about two foot smaller than you.

Ah, it does slightly, I think, does it.

It doesn't let you change very size, but you can't change your height with it. I see, I see, captain, Captain Sigma plan. I think that you're right. She doesn't really want to go through with this. She only wants to do it because her father wants her to do with and her father is dead. The question is if she found out her father was dead, would she then be the queen of this kingdom? And would she then have the power to make her own decisions.

That's a good question. Let's ask Princess Mazapan. We're back.

Oh, yes, theoretically, I'm sure you're educating these kind of things. If your father were to, Heaven's forbid, die, what would happen to you within the hierarchy of this kingdom.

Well, this is a weird question for the wedding planners to ask me.

You want to be very, We're very. You need to cover all We've got different colored flowers, and we need sure exactly which cons we're bringing in. The wedding questions are coming up later. I'm a yellow all white.

Yes, after my after my mother died, he never remarried, so I'm his only only child, and I guess, I guess I would I would naturally become the queen. But I think in the situation, I mean, I don't really know how to run a country. I just let if you know, if I was married to I just let he's a duke, he knows, I just let him do everything.

That's that's absolutely spot on answer. But let's let's make this hypothetical a little bit more specific. Let's imagine that your father died within the next half an hour, thus dying before you are married. I know it's horrible to think about, but just it's a it's a mind game, it's a it's a it's a logic puzzle. Let's say that your father died in the next half an hour, you thus became queen, and you didn't want to marry the duke.

Well, would you just stay as the queen? I guess I would.

But if my father died in such a manner like I would be, I would fear for my own life and my own safety.

Oh no, I understand. I I don't think your father's going to die in the next half an hour. That's pretty spot on. I can guarantee that's not going to happen.

Not going to happen.

If that situation did happen in a way that nobody was to blame, you would be strong enough to survive on your own.

I am, I'm not so sure. I'm I'm sorry. I I wish, I wish I could say yes, I wish.

But my father always told me that my heart was made of too much sugar and not the hardest mind soft and sifts through to my rest of my veins.

Okay, Well, I need you to focus Miles plan because the wedding planning heavily revolves around you. Understanding that that may be a situation you find yourself in.

Is my father's life in danger. Sorry, your father is definitely not going to die in the next half an hour. Is he already dead? Old? Make you say that? What a crazy thing to stay with.

Phrasing of your centers is very particular. And I may, I may, I may seem docile, but I am an educated lady.

That's what I was hoping say. You can run a country, right, guys, I've got a plan for you to say that. I'm only I'm only sixteen years of age. I'm afraid my all right, we'll chaps.

I've got an idea. I've got a settle. It's out there, but it's it's an idea. Okay, here's here's the idea, right, Sigma, I'm going to need you to catch me if I fall from a great heights.

Do you think you can do that?

I perhaps there are two other more qualified people here for that.

I'm going to need you to Sigma catching me if I fall from a great height.

Yeah, I'm sure if you land on me it would be softer crag.

I'm going to need you to cause a distraction which momentarily gets everyone to look one way, and then I'll be able to put this plan into.

Action, all right, like right now, or like when you get a cry there.

Yes, I'm here pocket the guys. We're on our way to the castle. Now we've left apartments. Oh quick, can you get the giant gingerbread titan here? Well, I'm in the city now and buy the shortbread apartments. But I can make it over.

I walk over to the palace. Made me round the back on the floor. I need to put your hand on the ground and I'll be climbing onto it. Then I need you to lift me up into the air.

Oh okay, right, I will try my best.

So this is going to work. Okay, straight at willbox?

Is this.

In the distance?

Giant gingerbread man approached the castle and Marsipan turns around and says, oh, my father, he's on his way.

Yes, this is going to be difficult to explain.

But what I need you to do is look at the gingerbread man unless you hear a distraction, in which case you'll look away.

That doesn't make sense sense to me.

Are you guys?

Are just I.

Listened in the middle of this conversation. I would like to leave. Okay, you leave.

You run out of the castle towards the ground of bread.

I've got the little thing. Everywhere you see a procession.

Poly's men are coming now slowly, like approaching the castle. You Crumb puts his hand on the ground with a massive thud, squishing like a candy rabbit or something, and and you get on his hand.

Yes, and he lifts to signal over to crag drag to a distraction. What's around me? What's an immediate vicinity of me?

Were you in the throne room right now where everything is being set up? So I guess you've got the throne that has all the buttons on it.

Oh okay, yeah, uh, just do you just smashed the throne? Do something? I mean, I guess that you smashed the throne.

A bunch of the disco lights come on, and now it's broken, so they can't be turned off.

So now it's just goes.

Music's now flashing, manap distraction order up?

Yeah?

Yeah? What are you doing? What's going on?

No? I leave this, She's she's flustered, confused, brickplan.

What are you doing?

As the hand of the giant gingerbread man is being lifted up, I would like to disguise myself as the king.

Okay, so I've read a description.

You can make yourself one foot taller or shorter, so you cannot make yourself as short as the king.

But that's okay, because I'm going to be hiding behind bits of gingerbread on this hand as I kind of lean over the edge of the giant hand.

Yeah okay. So, and then you would like to.

Make sure that Sigma and Navena can see this and they know that it's actually me.

Oh, we see it, And I would like to shout down mind the daughter.

Okay, you've so through. Now you've come around the castles. It's a big blazing behind the like the stained glass behind the castle. And Martypan goes, father, father, Oh oh you're control yeah right, okay, father.

To have on the message for you? Oh what is what is the message?

Sorry, there's a madman in here smashing things up.

It's okay, look at me. Don't look at him. That was just not distracting, But you must look at me.

And staters really loud in here.

I are always very proud of you. We're also believed in you.

How are you controlling the mech from out there?

Daughter? Listen to my ones? Okay.

At this point, Duke roly Poly and his entourage enter the throne room with Pocket at his side. He's got a big force and he goes, my beautiful muthy pen. Oh, we've come to see you before you're ing and he he looks and he now sees Kaiser on the hand. He goes, what that's impossible.

Mary looks over. What do you mean it's impossible? What's going on here? What are you saying? I have always loved you. You are wise, you are clever, you are brilliant. You'll get this. You can lead the kingdom by yourself. You do not need anybody else. If I were to somehow die, you would becomes a queen. And it is my dying wish that you ruled as a queen alone. Oh when you jump and try and get caught by.

So Sigma and a Vina, I guess give me your fucking acrobat. How are you catching Rick plan smashed through the window.

Yeah, but Jed jumping out the window for a start, Okay, because there.

Is to be caught with nobody else seeing.

Changing back to me this one do Sigma will do the stealthy aspect when the Vina will do the acrobatic aspect. So Sigma, you give me a stealth Rowvina, you give me an acrobatics roll.

This will work, This will work, will work. Yeah, it's very hidden, white sock. I guess you create like a Warfrey landing pad of jealous landing.

I just saw on your board like a flatfish the MARSI pan is distressed, go for the.

Off thevena and landed back in the room as Rick plan. Yes, okay, ah, I've just seen your father fall to his death. But I think we all heard his final words. A duke roly Pony.

Goes, well, no matter, fridge, Adam, would you throw the fridge of mars. Give me your rod to hit with the fridge. Give me a roll to hit with a fridge. You hit him, do the damage. Thirteen The fridge hits him in the forehead.

He goes.

I think, oh, I see how it is, and I guess at this point I will be rolling initiative.

He's not dead. Mark. I'm sorry the plan didn't go the way that your plan was smarter. It was, but this is where we're at now.

I don't think there was a single aspect of my plan. I think we have convinced the princess that she is a capable queen. We have traumatized her just enough with the death of her father in front of her eyes that she's going to do a damn good job at being queen. And the best one is nobody finds out that we actually killed her dad.

I really enjoy the fact that you didn't think just to tell her that Roly Folly had killed her dad.

And that his corps is in the apartment. Yeah, that's actually a good point. She would never have married.

I don't think Mazupan has any reason to be on our side about that.

I feel that, yeah, Princess Marzapan might not understand that we're the good guys in this situation.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We are.

We are the reason the king's dead. You've just thrown a fridge at the duke. Yes.

He takes the thirteen damage and he go, wa, we are here. He pulls out his gamerally pony weapons, his knights get out their swords and armor. Pocket looks round and he's like, well things have gone to shit. Mary Pan's like, what is going on? The fucking disco music still pumping. Nevena, you are first.

To go A Navena is going to run towards the princess, and I guess dash, yeah, because I'm gonna have to to move there.

It's a big phone room.

I start ten feet of movement. Yeah, you're going to the princess, my queen.

I believe this is probably not going to be a safe enviroument's very soon. Perhaps it is best if you come with me.

Wait wait would they Why would I come? You just attacked the.

Duke to be first crack attacked to the duke.

I did not actually the fridge attack. Are you not even winning planners?

I don't think she'll come with you, uh, unless you have to convince her somehow.

Okay, what have I said?

There will be a fight soon. It is no place for ladies.

I mean I think she won't come with you, but she will hide.

Okay, fine, yeah, pockets turned, I can convince her to hide. Yeah, pocket goes all right, Duke, he turns around. Let's get these motherfuckers. But first let's shake on it. Oh god, and the duke goes down towards him. He goes, I mean, his own conventional jelly baby, but head fake before a bat if, very cordeous. He puts out his hand. They shake each other's hand and then they explode and saving this they're both just going to take the damage.

Did Pocket just blow up his own hand? Yes? Yes, so he described this weapon like, yeah, yeah, I think Park it's just insane. So it's great.

So Pocket gets blasted back, his hand flies off, he falls on the ground unconscious.

The duke takes William No, he did it right, William fucked that up.

He did it right.

The Duke takes a big chunk of damage, and the two nights next to him will have to do saving throws because there is within the explosion range, but unfortunately not.

Like it's not instant losses. So one of them succeeds, the other one explodes as well and dies. How much was the success needed for that role? It needed to be a I think a fifteen. I don't think you can.

Can I take a cutting word reaction to attempts to reduce their role using one of my Bardic inspirations.

Did you do that for saving throes?

For saving those it's an ability check or a attack role, so.

Not saving throw not a same yeah, because Bards have a different thing that can you can do for saving floes, and I think it's a different subclass. So unfortunately not.

Anyway.

Yeah, this bomb goes off, it sayds, pocket flying probably crashy against one of the pillars in this room. He is now unconscious. His hand is missing. The duke has scars across his body, his arms and burst it open, and he looks weak and wounded.

Crag it is your turn, all right. I just look down at the duke and it's just I pull out my great war pick and I start charging towards him. Now he's far away from me. He's about fifty sixty feet away from me. I'm gonna use my action to dash sixty feet get right up to his face. Yes, then action surge to attack him. Okay, great, Yes, yeah great. I don't think is action surge a bonus action or is just a thing I'm doing. It's just a thing you do, so you still have your bonus action. Bonus action.

Just grow in this room, your body feels out. I know rules is written and it only goes up to large, but for this large, so he's turning into a giant ashcar. As I guess, the molten lava from your body is increasing your size as it hardens, but also the core inside of you is pulling parts of the scenery around, so you're like bits of hardened candies being attached to your body to increase your size.

And I'm looking down at myself and my war pick as these weird runes begin to appear and burn into my weapon, and I'm like the red of Obscar Ashcar magic. I have become the the Riz, the ancient, the language of my ancient people, the Riz nights or whatever. I don't know. I just making this up. I bring it down, okay, yeah, him the damage, Yes, yes, I got that. I got the extra damaged fire shackles with giants MICUs. The fire room is on the war pick. Of this hits, which I hope it does.

No, it's a critical fail. So wait, so you bring the war pick down and the Duke he puts up some suet jam roly poly in the way and he blocks it and he goes maybe big, but I know how to handle big ones.

I was really really into the magic powers I just received. I thought that this would actually hurt you. Okay, it's no Duke's turn. It is now the Duke's turn.

Bring it on. He pulls out his giant Yeah, of course, and he's going to try and he says, pierce through your body with it. He comes the roly Poly. He's a strong guy.

He hits.

Oh man, it extends through your body, ripping through your eighteen damage.

What does it need to hit? What? What's your armor class? Crack? It's fifteen. You can cutting words that if you want to. But it's cutting words it. But you'd need to roll a five or a six. You roll, but yes, you would need to roll.

That.

I think I think it's well now if it's a if it's a five, it still hits right, Yes, appoint it would need to roll a six. Do you want me to try and reduce the damage on that slightly? I mean, if you want to, these are your resources. I'm I'm not down, so yeah, you're not down, but I think it's going to be important to reduce the damage. You tell what you got to do.

As as you stabbed through, I want to try and shout out some attempt to instruction to you to dodge because I can see where this attack is coming from, which is not going to help you enough to dodge, but might help you enough just to avoid as much damage which means I'm going to expend a bardic inspiration dice to do cutting words which will reduce the damage of that attack.

Okay, great, So the roly Poly rolls through you, penetrates your molten core, sort of ripping some of the stone apart. But the dama is produced by six as you manage to like something dodge slightly out the way, so it's only going through maybe the side of your body, so you take twelve damage total.

All right, sigma.

So I'm all the way back at the back of this room, right near the brooken thrown. I'm going to cover a little bit of the distance kind of in the direction of where Marzipan is hiding behind like the tables and decorations or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just gonna I am gonna like call out to her as a like hiding behind some stuff. Yeah, Princess, your father's final words. He believed in you to rule this kingdom. You cannot rule. Well, this evil man thrives to take your hand.

You're a queen. Now we do this for you.

He's I've only heard good things about Duke roly Poly. You were the ones who attacked him.

That to pick my word for it.

I'm going to try to shoot.

Fourteen just misses.

You guys are not hitting he just like he's blocking it with fucking roly Poly's out his asshole.

I don't think I can do anything else right now.

That's it.

That's it, that's it for me.

Doctor Cone.

Crumb he is, he's got his mech and he's speaking through the thing right now. He goes, guys, what do you need me to do? Guys, I don't have the calm. Yeah, Rick, tick Manavena, anyone, what do you need? Can you can you see through the eyes of the giant mech? Yes, I hate all my monitor right now. I need you to make sure the pocket is okay. Can you pick him up and get him out of this fight? He just did an incredibly heroic thing. I don't know if I can get in through the wit like he's he's

Same, I'm just gonna update you that the cause of the king is remarkably more liquid than the last time she saw him.

But you could just pretend that on his head.

Yeah that's true.

Yeah, okay, that so the mech starts moving away at this point, to which then Marsypan goes, wait, if my father's not controlling the who's controlling the gingerbread?

Meg?

Where was the pie of your father's.

Well, it's in It's in a side, secret room.

It's in Crumb's room.

It was the bottom. Wasn't on the throne? That no no, no, no, no, no no no.

Yeah, but he's just stuck in there. It was a thing on the on the wall, like a panel. Okay, Rick, it's your turn.

I'm going to look around and go well, so far this plan has gone remarkably well. However, I don't appreciate the fact that Pocket has just sacrificed himself and done a great deal of damage. So I would like to attempt to run over the Pocket.

And yeah, yeah, he's crushed against here. You can I think you could use all your movement to just said you get up to him. You're in that group when a vena marsipanded Pockets on conscious body.

Right, I want to have a look at Pocket and assessed the damage he's on.

He looks like he's going to die. Potentially his head has fallen off. Not on my watch. I'd like to kneel down and cast healing word on Pocket.

Go ahead, two D four rolls to total sevens Charisma's four, so a total of eleven eleven.

So Pocket opens his eyes I know, and it's your bonus action as well, so you can still do an action as long as it's not a leveled spell. Pocket opens his eyes and goes, yeah, Ricky.

Did I do a good job.

You did a bloody good job, Pockets. You did one of the most selfless things I've ever seen. Now, I need you to get the hell out of here before.

Then looks over at Sigma, who's in his eye line now, and goes, yeah, yeah.

That Sigma, he did a good job. Good thing that's not ruin it. Yeah.

He gets up and he pulls out his pistol and he's like, I mean, I'm ready to keep that in the good fight, all right, Rick.

You know, I don't think you're that good a shot. I don't think you could hit the hit the juke while he's lying on the floor. Do you think you could?

And he's standing up?

But I could obviously.

Okay, Well see if you can do a better shot than this.

I would like to turn around, pull out one of the knives that I've got from Crag's endless body and just throw it through their attempt to roll it into Duke roly Poly.

Okay, give me that, give me that knife attack It flies to the Oh my god, nothing's hitting this guy.

He's got a shield like Garra of Just like I would to expend a luck points to be able to.

Roll, you cannot do that. I have now learned that luck is not retroactive anymore. You have to say before you make the roll if you're using it.

Yes.

So Pocket just sees me throw a knife at the distant Pocket goes, let's see you do that. Pocket.

Oh, I don't think he's looking at you. He's still making eye contact with Sigma and just grinning.

Ok.

The Knight, who's still alive, turns round to the Duke and says, they seem stronger than we expected.

And they did go.

They fain contact Rack for me. We may need a plan B the night goes. OKAYO, Rack, do it. And what you now see in the distance, the giant gingerbread dragon is now flying towards the castle.

That finally came back around from Yes ever seen Godzilla versus Mathra. I wasn't allowed to watch movies. We couldn't afford a TV.

Right, I'm going to need you to get the giant gingerbread mech back here, right, take out the giant gingerbread dragon.

Right, will do kid you time?

And yeah, the giant gingerbread mech turns round. You see the giant gingerbread dragon approaching the throne room at this moment, riding on its back. You see this ashcar man wielding a flaming hammer. And at this point we will do it. To be continued, Ah damn, okay is Rack on his back. The engine hummed beneath them, uneven and irritable, like it

He rolled the word around like he enjoyed it. Moment the war.

Kicked off, he went straight on the offensive, sent his best people out in every direction to spread chaos and destruction. Outside the window of the world darkened, rivers of oil slid sluggishly through the land, reflecting the sky and slick rainbows. The spice plains gave way to scorched earth and blackened rock. Steam guys is hissing up from the ground like overwort kettles in a giant, badly managed kitchen. Fuse, flashbang, even smoke.

That's how I got this sord beauty, with.

My help, Corragan added flatly from the front. Yes, yes, mok said, grinning with her help. Turns out are not so great at the whole eyed jacking part. There was something about the way he was talking, casual, almost cheerful, that made Sweet Stomach Titan Moxhin's sound like a man heading into danger. He sounded like a man heading into familiar inconvenience. Back at the camp, he had spoken of

That's the spirit.

Sweet leaned back against the rattling frame of the truck, dread setting in deep and heavy. When he'd set out to find a greater purpose, he'd imagined hardship, self discovery, perhaps a moral dilemma or two. He not expected murder to arrive quite so promptly. Mox must have caught the look of Sweet's face because a heavy iron cladded hand him down on his shoulder. The weight of it was

We've got a plan.

It's not a great plan, Corragan added from the front, without looking back, neatly, undoing whatever reassurance he'd been aiming for. Mox waved it off.

Don't listen to her.

You're going to do great. Sweet felt a tightness in his chest that suggested crying might be imminent, undignified and entirely reasonable. And it's really just the three of us, he asked quietly. He found himself hoping absurdly that a small army might suddenly rise from the plains, ready to share the weight of what was coming. Mok shrugged, Well, he said, I don't know if you noticed that most of my people aren't exactly in fighting shape. Lack of food does that to you?

I was fair enough.

They were called the starved, after all. Still the thought lingered. He glanced sideways at his captor. For a man leading the hungry and half broken, he was not broad shoulders, solid muscle, no hollow cheeks, no weakness in the way he moved. If it is not impolite to inquire, he said, carefully, how is it, then, that you remain in such excellent condition? Moxs' His hand slipped from his shoulder. He turned his head towards the window, suddenly very interested in the passing wasteland.