SPACE PIRATES D&D #5 | "The Candy Kingdom"

Hello, everyone, Welcome to episode five of Space Pirates. Dudd is a Dragon's home. I'm here as always with Rick Plan. Just try face hello.

I'm Rick Plan. I'll be making sure I think of some kind of plan to get us out of whatever sticky situation we end up in. Quite literally from last time, as we've just gone through a motive treacle.

I'm not doing the one liners because you know, the votes are in, the polls are in. Everybody hated them. Nobody liked them. I don't think a single person found them enjoyable. Had three emails about them saying never do it again.

If you just went for the comedy aspect instead of trying to offend us, I think people would have liked them all. Well, but you have a you have a viewership of empaths that sends my distress.

Okay, right, well, next time, maybe I'll do that about the characters and not the players. Yeah that you know, we have a you know we're we're speaking of we're here, which what are you? Sigma?

Hello, I am Sigma.

I'm here with Crack taking one on one.

I'm Crag.

I'm here currently, I am not I do not have a Scottish accent yet, but that might change in the future.

I don't have context for anybody listening to the recorded version. It's just the first thing that say is I do not have a Scottish accent yet, Like it's a threat, and I'm here with conquest the vita.

The great flow, bey with you, oh.

The crowd flow.

Yeah, the first it's the first time to Vina said it as well. Oh that's something like.

Cannon speaking to the viewers. Canon. Hmmm is that canon?

Wait a minute, are you like an evangelist? Was Navena an evangelist this entire time?

Sorry? Yeah, she was part of a religious that wash thing she put a bishop. She's religious, that's what. Well, she wasn't like trying to convert us to something.

So yeah, I guess so, I guess it's a common It's a common saying for Vellunari to say of religion, perfect made the great flow guide you, etcetera, etcetera.

Yah, Yeah, it's okay, all right.

Well, well, welcome everybody. Where we left off our party. They were standing, well, most of them were standing atop the walls of the Kingdom, the Candy Kingdom city. I described it very well last time, and I'm not going to do it again. Last week's episode there was sweet Buildings of plenty in this kingdom.

Crag is sweet building. Yeah, five points.

Crag is out. So I like to imagine it's like sim cities. But every time you build a city building, there's a guy that goes sweet building and you get five points. That's how in the Eon veil, that's how cities are constructed.

That's how it's built.

All right, Okay, and Craig is still outside. I'm outside on the other side, opposite end of the moat. I'm just gonna be like, all right, well, time to do what I do best until they get me in. And I just take out a sign that says, you know, looking for work, like I'm a homeless man, and I just sit I just stand there and just wait for somebody to approach me.

All right, Well, we got to get to that in.

A second, ye Would you like to remind the audience what your plan is?

Well, correct me if I'm wrong, But we need to make our way across into the city. Currently there are three of us standing on the walls of the city. We could quite easily drop down into city and.

Let's spud with Crag or is Spud with you guys?

Spots in the.

Fridge spots, haven't we So yeah, you've got Pocket and Crumb.

So our team drops down over the walls into the city. We now need to get Crag effectively across the drawbridge. Now, a large mountain with a giant fridge walking across may attract some attention. So my plan is this. We approach Crag effectively leaving the city shouting in a way that all the guards can hear. My goodness, the ashcar emissary is here. Crag, being the ashcar emissary, walks across the bridge and all the guards will go obviously it's the

I have no problem with this idea. All right, this is great.

Say this out loud to the group on top of the wall, like you.

I like to think that I've been explaining it to them as we've been kind of resting on the top of the wall. They're like, are we all still okay with that plan?

How do we convince them that he actually is the emissary?

Sorry, Crumb, says the ash What is the ash cart what does that mean, because that's just saying that's like saying he's the human emissary.

Oh that's the great thing. Nobody actually knows what an emissary does. No, it is because all we need to do is convince the other guards. I suppose the guards. I'm not one. I'm just seeing myself as one.

Now, convince the guards that he is an emissary, which is a very important sounding word, and they'll be the guard thinking, well, I don't want to be the one to stop the emissary.

Best support him.

Pocket goes, Yeah, I mean it sounds great to me.

As long as you don't roll a successive series of like twos and threes, you should be good on this.

Yeaheah, absolutely, this can't found me. The worst The worst thing that will happen is they don't believe me. And if that happens, then I'm sure Crag will say something remarkably clever. The man went to college, for God's sake.

I think the worst thing that happens is somehow through this you end up back in the seyrum.

People in this kingdom is they drown them headfirst into the cyrus yrup, like from on top of this wall.

Can we can we see the front gate of the city.

Uh, yeah, well you're quite You decided to go quite a way around right, like so that you you know, you're not in view of any guards that are by the gates, but you.

Can see it in the distance. What's the general like mood of the streets? Is it in riots?

Much like the central capital area was? No? This area?

This area is quite chill. Actually, people, you've got you've got candy monks on the street. Actually, the mood here is surprisingly cheery, like there's some sort of celebration going on.

Right. People look happy.

There's bunting made of suites of ones that look like bunting going through the city.

Wait, captain, if you don't remind me pointing out the mood in the city seems very festive and cheery. Our friend Craig might have no problem walking through the front gate. It might even be something we can use to our advantage. We can effectively party it up. We can be excited to see him, we can get everyone else excited. We can say he's part of the festivities as well. It might even be a good information gathering exercise if we talk to some of the locals and see exactly what's going on.

Crag.

Yes.

Meanwhile, you are approached by somebody right.

Oh, by the way, I make sure to write on my sign I college educated.

Right there you go. I have an associates at least.

So a big burly man approaches youther, sir, he doesn't look like he's from the candy Kingdom?

Okay, what does he look like?

He's he's got scrap stuff all over himself, like bits of metal attached to his body, and like it looks like smoke is coming off him as well. And he goes all right, looks as you're looking for work, I've got a job for you.

Yeah.

Oh that's great. I'm good at doing all these jobs. Hey have a side point. Are you on fire right now? Because if not, I think you should probably take care of that. No, the smoke is normal, all right. Just wanted to double check. I'm I'm I'm made of fire myself a little bit. I got a beating ashcar magma heart.

Yeah you do, yeah too, isn't it.

Oh?

Yeah, you your signs as you do any job.

I'll do any job.

How do you feel about domestic terrorism?

Oh?

Boy, now, Craig, what have you gotten in yourself into this time. I'm gonna have to consult that with my partner here. All right, Well, it's fun the Chosen One.

It's been enough time. I think he would wake up by now.

Yeah, what's going on? Oh do you uh? As the Chosen One? As the kosh Karar or whatever I called you?

Do you?

How do you feel about domestic terrorism?

I'm I'm a poored by it. It's kind of what I assumed you were already when I first met you.

No, no, no, I'm the bodyguard for Rick planned, but that song kind of I'm on sabbatical at the moment, and I'm waiting to try to Yeah, so this guy right here, this this stand up fella right here.

What's your name?

By the way, fuse fuse? I like, is this guy huge? Is he's like my size?

He's a human, but he's I would he's a big guy. I would say, Okay, he's like six foot seven, Oh.

Okay, you know what, I'm gonna reach out and and try to like like just like shake his hand and not as accepting his job, but like as like an introduction.

This handshake is like.

Oh yeah, yeah, it's good.

You can tell about a person's handshake.

Yeah, it's good, but he twitches a lot when he so he vibrates as a strong vibrator.

Oh all right, okay, whoa. I like those vibrations you're giving off.

All right, Well you don't from the candy Kingdom. So I fell here with a similar sort of you know, motives offer and I.

Is this job taking place in the city, because I do have to rendezvous with some of my friends in the city. Yes, all right, okay, then you know what, get us into the city and then we'll talk about it afterwards.

I'm still trying to figure out that part.

Oh, so you don't know how to get I was hoping that's the job I was going to give you, was to help me get into the city.

While this is happening, Can I tend a sigma?

I don't mean to rush anyone, but I do fear the longer we leave Crag alone, he wants to.

Be some kind of emissary.

As long as he's not standing there with the ball saying looking for work, considering terrorism, I'm sure we'll be open.

At this point, we're definitely descending down one last thing with him, though.

When he says that to me, I'm just gonna be like, well, I could throw you over the wall if you'd like.

And it's just a reading.

That sounds like a perfect idea. Let's try it out.

Let's do it. I try to.

Luckily, it's only one guy, so you don't roll with disadvantage, just roll strength or athletics. I brought my own tree.

You critically fail, he goes straight into that.

You actually just throw him into the syrup. Okay, well, he's quite strong.

There's no weird can we have Can we have paced out of the We've descended the wall, We've walked it on the main street. If we see the main gate, can we just see through it of crack picking up a guard viewable for the main gate.

You guys have no idea that he think he's just killed a guy. The thing is, though, I think you have prevented a terrorist incident? Is what you have done.

I threw I do that, I throw them in and he just goes right into the syrup. I'm like, every job, why does this keep?

I'm not even gonna have him.

I think with a critical fail, he is just gonna die in the city.

I just kill like the fucking enemy of this entire session. You have saved the city.

That's my emissary right there, that's the emissary of.

The Okay, all right, we cut back of the the I don't.

Believe you wrote a crypt fail. I can't either.

I'm like, all right, okay, you're back in the city.

You're now descended by the inside of the city. We're approaching the main gates.

Are you approaching the main gates? I thought you were going to walk around and talk to people.

Are walk toward the main gate?

Can we turn to one of the citizens next to us at one of the monks, Navina, are you with us as well?

Yeah? I was thinking maybe we should split up. It's quite a lot of ground to cover.

If you get roped into domestic terrorism. If you yeah, that's unlikely to happen, Navina. If you wish to take some kind of high ground and keep over watch on as I believe that Sigma and I will walk up to the main gate and attempts to greet Crag in an emissarial way to then bring him into the city. I see, Wait, are we spitting up?

Says his pocket.

Navina, Do you want Pocket to accompany you?

No?

No, no, no, no, I am going off of my own. This place is full of bounty. It's that's a joke, because that's a chocolate.

I know that you're not going to have too many objections if I asked you the question, do you want pocket to go away?

I think this is a great opportunity for him to get someone a long time pocket.

Go and do whatever you want to do. I'm sure you'll turn up again at some kind of opportunity of time.

Yeah, see, you're around if you If you want me, you know where to find me.

I seen turns to stigma and go. I have no idea where to find not the clue.

Okay, he goes right off?

Hang over Watch. Yes you're okay, taking Crumb with you. I'm sure he won't be a bother of course.

Oh yeah, okay, slick.

With Novena and go on to Overwatch. Ideally on the rooftop somewhere right, Let's go and greet the emissary.

Maybe I'll be Tracy.

Okay, No Crumb and Avena is all? Okay? Can we okay? Oh, I'm swearing. Speak to the guards.

You want to stop. Speak to the guards near the front gate.

Yes, ideally, Okay, need to gather some information, Sigma, do you wish to ask the guards about what the events going on?

Specifically? Is? We need some specifics here? Can I grab a random civilian instead of the guard?

Okay, you can grab a rando civilian.

You there, random civilian? Oh hello, the mored in the city seems very good. What is happening right now?

Have you not, hud?

Is it your first day in town? Perhaps?

Perhaps the princess is getting married. The ceremony is tomorrow morning. It is like late evening right now. To be fair, I would say, because you guys always traveled across the whole day.

Wonderful. The princess is getting married to the roly poly duke. The roly poly duke, you say, yes, Oh, and the king will be in attendance. To find a pen and write all this down. Bloody hell, that's a lot of information. Royal wedding, Yes, okay, excellent. Where will it be held in the palace?

But you must have an invitation if you were to attend. I wish I had an invitation, but I am just a lonely sugar farmer.

Ah. Yes, if only we could all ascend such heights. Well, thank you so much for the information. Go back to your farm.

Oh I'm taking a break right now. It's a public holiday.

Oh yes, I enjoy the festivities.

I will ye. And he runs away. He does that little jump like he was killing together. Yeah, it's got like a trail of sugar that leaves behind him as he goes. Oh, okay, he's having a great time.

Yeah, excellent work there, Segma.

We've gathered some information the roly Holy Duke is marrying the princess, and we'll work out getting one of those invitations later. How many guards are currently up the gate if we if we were to attempt to get the four guards corently watching the gate. Okay, how how dangerous are they looking?

Well, they they look a bit concerned that one of their friends is missing. So they are actually talking to each other actively. And you know, if you, if you're I think Sigma would be able to maybe here are They are saying, yeah, your ears puck up. They are saying things to the effect of, we.

Always have come back in a while. I'm sure it's nothing.

He's probably just hitting his candy vape's.

Or gum flavored.

You know, he always loves the rip of.

The guard that we killed. How how big were they compared to me?

They were humans, I'd say, so were humans.

I'd like to turn to Siam and go, yeah, Sigma, I think I've got a plan.

No, no, no, sorry. The guards that you killed the Twizzler, they were they were tau. They were taller than you.

The know the He's just a human, He's.

Fantastic, Sigma.

If I was to be able to convince those three guards that I was their missing friend and I was escorting you to the castle, then you will be able to greet Crag as the emissary and they will ask fewer questions.

Aren't we coming the wrong way for that?

Though? No?

Not if they think I'm their guard. But they must have shat got out the front. Let's not question this plan too.

It's the Sigma realizing that Rick's plans are not as good as he once thought.

What I'm thinking is maybe earlier we spent a long time overthinking and over planning, and we got stuck in some triacle.

Maybe this time we just we just do. Are you suggesting and believe me? I am bloody well on board with this that you and I employ what I like to call the clipboard effect, where we simply walk through as if we belong and don't stop if someone questions us. Just so, I think if we walk through confidently and we say emissary, emissary, where are you, and he comes over and we walk through the city, I think maybe they won't ask any questions at all.

I think this is a bloody good plan. The only possible wild card is Crag and I can't wait to see what he does with this, So let's just give it a go.

When you are Yeah, so, Craig, you did have a time that you were gonna They said to give you like twenty minutes and then you would just to walk in. And I feel like that amount of time is about to pass.

I think that can we see him through? Then?

I imagine, Craig, are you now going to start approaching the.

Yeah, this whole job thing didn't work out, So I just put my sign away and I just like, all right, well that killed some time and a person. I guess, come on there, lord Spud, let's head on it. And I guess I'm just gonna start let's walk with style.

The consequences of that. Sorry, am I I am going to walk super okay?

Is he?

Is? He?

Staying in the fridge or is he walking by your side?

Well that that's up to him. Do you want to walk or do you want to stay in the fridge or do you want to stay outside? Or what do you want to do?

You want me to do? You want to ride on my shoulder?

What I would be making when I woke up this morning?

Oh?

Yesterday? Oh he is quite bloodied. Right, he's just come back from being unconscious, but he wasn't healed, so he's like, he's still very wounded. So I think I think I might stay at the fride.

Just you want to stay in the reinforced fridge? You do that? You do that, sir spud. All right, don't worry. I'll make sure we get it.

I tried my best fighting and I think it knocks upsets itively.

Don't worry.

I'm going to try to call my wife again.

You try that. The best is yet to come. You'll be all right, Okay. I I am going to walk through the gate with a level of.

Like they see crag approaching, You guys, see a crag approaching.

I would like to walk from the other side of the gates.

Turned to Sigma nod and when we are within kind of shouting distance of Crags, and we shout over Crag emissary of the Ashcar Kingdom, welcome to our fair city. Are you excited for the wedding festivities?

What's going on here?

What you've not informed of the arrival of the Ashcar emissary? Notice was sent yesterday.

I need a performance from Crag and a deception from Rick and I assist. Can I help the here? You can help this chip in so fifteen from Crag fucking twenty fourth Rick plan you get help if you want.

But he's got it. He's got it again.

Just see what happens is to help and advantage roll just in case Holy only.

Made it worse.

Yeah, the guards honestly are more concerned about their friend that has gone missing. So they go, oh, right, there is a wedding on after all. Yes, I'm sure, I don't know why the kingdom. And the other one goes like, but.

Isn't there a war on?

Like the general went to go fight, like, we shouldn't be told not to let anybody into the city, And the fourth one goes, yeah, but it's a wedding.

Wave over.

I wave over to Rick, and I'm just like ah, yes, I am here as the emissary. You have a lovely city and a gorgeous syrup mote, and.

He doesn't look like.

I'd like to overhear the guards talking about the bad they're a bit worried about all of this and kind of say a little bit too loudly, it's fantastic to have you here. As you know, the war of course rages, but marriages like this bring alliances and peace, which I believe is something that we all ultimately want.

He's got a really good point. He does have a really good point.

Maybe, by the way, I think I think there was a terrorist floating in the syrup. I don't know what's up with that, but it's not what happened to our friend.

Stop.

I mean, you guys have created the perfect alibim Like the scapegoat for the guard murder would just be the terrorist. They just their buggies are floating next to each other.

Yeah, it's like the guard just like dragged him in and they both died or something like that. Like you could easily make an alibi for that. So like, all right, I.

Wink at Rick plan. All right, let's go boss, let's go there, all right, yeah's less winking.

What you've done, Crag is you've come in with the energy of a child going I didn't do a very specific thing. Really suspicious that they did the specific thing that when.

Crag winks it makes quite a loud crunching noise.

I do it like four times too. So yeah, stone scraping together. Yes, the traditional greeting of the four winks. I'd like to return the four winks.

Okay.

Meanwhile, and chrome, where did you guys go? So there are many places in this kingdom. You know, there's the sugar street markets, the marshmallow row, the fondant gardens, the shortbread estates, the syrup forges, the thrusting monastery.

Well, I guess the best thing to do would be try and get as close to the castle as possible. Or you know, is there like is there like a parade street maybe where.

The there's a street, there's a whole bunch of wedding is going to be held. The wedding is going to be in the in the wait you left before they discerned you have no idea there's a wedding on.

Oh yeah, so you don't know. We're also we're also trying to figure out what's happening?

Are you sure you want me to help? I'm not particularly stealthy. I'm really good with food scides, so I can tell you all about the different foods here. I could give you fun facts about all the different sweet treats here that I'm not allowed to eat. But other than that, I'm pretty useless.

Well, why don't you try and find what what perhaps is the special event while I check the surrounding area?

Okay, he turns round to somebody and has the exact he turns, he meets the exact same person and has that the same conversation always beat both for beat and he thinks Tonvena. Afterwards, he goes. It seems to be a wedding the princess, Princess Marsey Pan. He's marrying the roly poly duke. He's set to arrive today. Interesting, but it's happening tomorrow.

Morning will be held in the castle.

Hey, that's what it seems to be. But we've we've got to find some place to sleep for the night.

I imagine, Yes, perhaps one second, Navena is gonna jump onto one of the roofs.

Sorry, how are you doing that? Water rustage is not made of water.

I'm going to expand one of my focus points to double my jump distance, right.

I still don't think that makes sure jump distance like a building? Yeah, Like how big is the building? Building? Is the building tall? Connor?

Can you leap half a building?

Do you think can leap? Hold on Connor? Isn't a monk? Okay, you're right, I'm not a monk. Sorry.

I can also take I can also think the dash action.

Listen, you can just scale a building.

You don't need to leap like your fucking nineteen fifty Superman.

The stairs to stairs exist.

Well, they would require you to go inside a building and.

True, but they do exist. I just thought it'd be fun. Flavor, Wait, can we do that?

I can just jump on top of a wall whenever I need to try.

Just climb a building, sun Flavor. Well, yeah, it's the subtle aspect, you know, is if you're.

Going to I need you to do a stealth check because obviously people are going to see you climb a building.

If somebody jump twenty five feet in the middle of the street, I would, yeah, I would notice. I would call the police in.

The middle of the street. I'm going down the side of the building. First, I wouldn't call the police. I would just be impressed, like, huh, superheroes exist.

It s your stuff. Okay, you're doing this in the middle of the street.

You are is the evening?

Uh huh, it is the evening.

So there's a little bit of darkness, but doesn't help you. All the lights are reflecting off your skin in this like water.

Uh huh.

And oh somebody, you know, somebody walks up to you, this old lady, and goes, what are you doing climbing my house?

Oh? I wanted to get on top of it.

Why are you one of those burglars, sugar burglars?

No, no, I just wanted to see more.

If you wanted to see more, my dear, you must go to the Frosting Monastery. They will open your third eye.

No offense, that's the joke, your fourth time. It's just my singular third eye is just gonna blink once.

That you can see more about the ways of of of of Sugar, Sugar Lord and Savior.

Oh, you mean a religion.

Some may call it a religion, but I call it the truth?

Do we see of this or hearing of this? Walking the sorry rick.

Unfortunately, in this session your crew has just scattered and are getting into trouble in a way that you cannot pull raid them in.

Hey, here we are. Can we go grab some cotton candy?

I kind of want some cotton candy, right you?

Sorry, Navina needs to deal with the old lady situation, and then we will cut back to you guys.

Navina, Okay, which way is the monastery?

She points up at the huge frosting monastery in the distance. It is right there, dearie.

And that is quite the tall building.

Oh you, it's it's bigger than my house, that's for sure.

H thank you very much, of course.

Praise be, Praise be the sugar gods.

Yes, that one.

Goodbye, and tell them that, oh, tell them that, oh she left.

Leave.

She enters back into her house.

All she cult speak to her husband and says, I a weird young lady today. The husband goes, I don't care you, bitch.

Like abuse, She goes, this is the first non like play a character cut a way we've had and for domestic yes, with terrorism, and now we're into abuse even in the aon veil.

Domestic abuse still a thing that fucking sucks wrist Craig.

And Sigma you have now entered the city.

What are you doing?

I'd like some cotton candy, just to kind of emissary.

If you want to head off and find yourself in cotton candy, would you like us to join your order you wish to explore around the city, I'll just hang out with you, boss, excellent. I say we make our way toward the largest building in the city, which is potentially the castle, and see if we can somehow make our way inside.

Well.

The emissaries so I should just be able to walk in.

So, yes, crag, I need to make this very clear to you because I don't think you understand exactly where we're going for this.

You aren't actually an emissary. We are pretending you are for the purposes of deception and subterfuge. But if you are asked to make any actual diplomatic decisions, Okay, I need you to understand you are not actually an em So just.

To clarify, my job is to not be the emissary, but my job is to pretend to be the emissary, which I am.

Yes, all right, yes, all right. I just want to get and.

What I am remarkably scared will happen is some level of international incident caused by you taking your emissarial duties far too.

Seriously, that's a war the name of king. Oh, I just need to get into the building.

I don't want to cause other pain. I mean, I have a pair. I have a little brother. I don't want him to get thrown in war because that's not good.

Sorry new crag law.

Yeah, yeah, brother, Yeah, it's a little brother. Yeah.

In that case, let's do the opposite. If you do have an emisserial ability to declare war, don't.

Yeah, that seems like maybe I could ease the rustage. What's the political climate of the Ashcar of versus everybody else?

Right now? Is tens guy?

Or are we like so the speech all of so, the main governing bodies have a sort of an agreement as part of the Coalition of Stars, right, the Ashcar Kingdom is part of the coalition.

It's one of the just we just joined, and we're rather warfaring groups just joined.

It has been like a thousand, like a few, like a thousand years. They're just the.

Most recent to join.

Okay, wow, it's been a thousand years and I'm the first one to go to college.

Wow. While assimulate that that is in the law.

I'm saying quite loose numbers. I don't have the exact numbers, but yes, right, okay, you are the most recent to join. But it's been a round for a while.

All right, it's been around for a while, and you have your king. I started to go to college. It's basically the whole thing. That was the whole thing.

The coalition has existed for long enough that there are planets and societies that are coalition like you know, then they have no kind of relation to the other kingdoms out of the jurisdiction of the kingdoms. They are just coalition areas like Gastrovia is where they have a mixture of races and such.

Species. Species.

Well, I say, in that case, we head toward the castle, attempt to make our way inside and find an audience with the Is it the candy king that rules this kingdom?

Candy Kaiser, that's the one we asked him about. We asked, Kaiser, what's all this about? Why did we split up? Because the crumb is.

Running after the vena now like never you know, what are you doing? It slowed down?

You didn't even tell where you were going here. You just ran off. I'm terrible at Cardio.

I got incredible. We're going to the monastery. Vida's really excited to go to a church.

Okay, okay, are you religious?

What does it?

What does the church look like?

It's a giant frosting monastery. So you imagine that in like, what does that mean? You know, the the movie Together?

You just that wasn't even You're just putting frosting and monastery together and hoped it would make sense.

Okay, imagine Salisbury Cathedral. Uh huh, because you've been there. But then now imagine it's made out of frosting but still structurally sound somehow.

Uh huh.

There you go. What color is the frosting?

It's like a light blue passed out five hundred and two times.

But your monastery is okay.

Okay, so it's a giant minister.

It's incredible.

I've never seen a building quite like this, besides the Global Bite's Office tower that wasn't quite big.

No, the church is at home a farm or quaint really. I sent mariness is a small small Velinari planet. But yes, our churches are not not as grand as this. I've been in grand church's mind and they're normally not as white or or sticky.

Yeah.

Yeah, I don't know how they can live like this. I would just want to eat everything around me.

Well, self restraint is one of the first things you're taught in the church.

Well as well, do you have good self restraint arena?

Would you say, oh yes, I would. I would say it's you know, it's touch and go.

Well, what are we waiting for?

Let's go in?

What first we must practice self restrained?

Okay, so we don't go in?

Where is this we wait?

Okay, I.

Don't know.

I felt like a family guy cut away.

It's funnier than that time that we were walking through the candy stick.

I really feel as if we should all be together when we go to the palace.

I completely agree, however, that the element of surprise that it might include if one of us turns up at a very opportune moment, and I originally was chewing, that will be pocket, but at this point it could be Nina or Crumb.

Will be crag and he oh, speaking of I just really go ahead. I was just going to say, the king, this kaiser fellow, of course he will be at the wedding tomorrow. Is that where we want to, you know, take care of him. Are you suggesting, Sigma, that we commit regicide at a wedding? Oh that's all. That's even worse than the domestic terrorism because we only need to talk to him about this whole civil war and getting the warlords on board. But the way you said take

If on the way to the castle we pass by some sort of candy pharmacy or perhaps a licorice apothecary to get some medical supplies to help. Yeah, he's yeah, that might actually because he's he's really hurting right now in my fridge.

So I want to make I have spells that could heal him.

That's that's okay if you want to do that, Boss, I was just be getting some supplies too.

Might not be a bad idea.

Supplies are the first good idea. And then if we can't find them, I will expend the spell slots to heal him. Yeah, also cast lots of spells every day.

Also, if the king or I mean the Kaisers around here, there might be like pictures of them around I would assume, I mean.

Exactly what I was hoping to find. Crag.

We're on the same wavelengthage. Oh my god, Boss, you're awesome. All right, I'm going to survey the street to look for a apothecary.

Actually, you don't need you don't need a perception for that, because there will be one.

Signs yeahah, yeah, yeah, I can read. Yeah.

It's it's shapes like a giant can of soda. Oh, there we go, all right, and it's it's feel good fizzy drinks is what it says on the side.

There it's a sharper a vending machine.

No, it's a shop. It's a giant can of soda. That's the shape of a building.

All right, turn to Sigma and go Stigma show.

We accompany Crag inside and while in there, I'm going to try and find a picture of the king.

Wait.

Is it a giant can of soda in the shape of building or a building in the shape of.

Ye, it's a giant. It's a giant building in the shape of a giant can of Yeah.

Okay, I will follow Crag into this building.

You go inside and there's a man. Well okay, there is nobody inside immediately, but then all of a sudden, someone appears from behind the desk and they go.

Pop, oh my god, away, Pop, it's nice to meet you. You want it, I've got it, fizzy drinks, cola, anything you need.

Did you do the same thing that I just did and immediately draw your guns kind of like I mean anybody that does that out of nowhere? Crack? Oh what aisle is your first aid? Kits and gauze?

Perhaps you want their healing soda the doctor pepper.

I could get you too, just for that price of war. But the price of one costs twice as much. All right, that sounds good. Let's do that. I have Oh shit, I gave all my lumens to pocket.

Hey, none of you have money. You've given turned to Stigma. Immediately Sigma borrows some lumens. I'll pay you back, I swear to God, Craig.

We just escaped from prison. I don't have any money. Hey, Rick, I'm really sorry.

I don't want to bump money off my boss, but like, do you do you have anything?

I'd like to return with the shop owner? You there, Barry Scott, Listen up.

This is the emissary of the Ashcar Kingdom and he requires medical assistance. Yes, I am the missionary of the Ashcar Kingdom. The more you say, the harder this gets to do. Okay, therefore, we are requesting diplomatic aid. What do I look like, charity?

You talk to the king for diplomatic aid.

My name is Pop.

I got the deals now bang and you're gone this king?

Have you seen him before?

Oh?

The kaiser?

Yeah, somebody's saying.

The key I have such tip.

In fact, I am invited to his wedding and supplying the fizzy drinks directly to him for the great Princess Marsey Pan, I will make her pop with excitement.

Oh that sounds okay.

You definitely have an invite to the wedding around here somewhere, which is something I'm going to note down. But more importantly, could you describe what the king looks like to me in excruciating detail?

Handsome, sugary, sweet, all words I would use to describe the King's the great?

Could you use words that are slightly more objective in exactly how he looks you? Height, features? Do you have a picture? He has just described a gingerbread man. Yeah, so I'm worried. Oh this is we're going with what we've got. The King looks like a gingerbread man. Hey, sir, spude, you got any money?

Sorry, you've opened the fridge now place the kind.

Of opened it a crack and just kind of like whispered like, hey, do you got any money?

So the shopkeeper is seeing crag open the fridge and ask if it has any money.

Yeah, yeah, yes, yeah.

Uh I he checks his lumen chard. Boooooo, I have fifty lumens.

Or fifty lumens cover the I'll pay you back, spy, don't worry about it. Uh will fifty lumens cover the dark pepper?

Are you having a love? I'm sorry, I didn't really.

I don't really know much about the currency exchange. Let's see, I have a can of beans I could trade you or peace. It was I think of can of pease magic, but they were magic peas, so I expect like a lot of healing supplies from that.

He grabs, well, he looks at it. He brings out I placed it on the counter. I was like, here you are.

Brings out a big magnifying glass and looks at it, and then another one, and then another one.

It apparently came from a lost dimension of wonder and amazement.

While they are doing that, can I be looking around the place to see if I can spot the ticket that will get him into the wedding? As he said, he was supplying the drinks, therefore he would have an invitation.

His attention is the double magnifying glass focused on us.

Right, I want to just have a look around. Yeah, you give me a perception.

Yeah, and he did mention that he has an invite as well, so yeah, can.

Me and can me and the captain both be doing that? Great? Great one of you can roll with advantage.

I only get a two bonus on perception. So do you want to roll for that?

Segma, Sure, I have hold on, I have advantage on perception checks. Oh wow, that's really just as a triple advantage. Yeah, I just have keen senses well colon Colon nineteen nineteen.

Oh great, So you look around and you you this is a plentiful store. But you kind of conclude from looking around and just using like a little bit of logical deduction that if he did have an invite, he'd probably have it at his house and not at his place of work.

Oh, this isn't one of those buildings where it's like the shop on the bottom and then he lives.

He lives somewhere else. Is basically through your perception, you probably deduce that there's no housing aspect of this.

He works at a soda bottle, he lives at a milk carton.

Yeah, anyway, he gets a crazy role on his inside and he goes ship.

I don't know how to tell you. So, yeah, these peas, these peas right here is a fake count of magic peace.

What Yeah, if you want to buy a real cat of magic peace, I have a whole budget.

But the sugar snails shut. They're over that. I think that, I think I think our little red friend has conned you. They're not even real peace. I shake a canty can. Yeah, yeah, I shake the can. Is it really empty? It's just an empty can? Pocket. I trusted you.

A single tear falls down crags a single mom.

So everyone knows you wept. I was going to put a hand on Craig's shoulder, but I'm realizing that's like ten foot tall. I put a hand on his knee. How you want this? Want to be his last betrayal? Well, that's just happening.

I would like to take one of the cans of doctor Pepper off the shelf and just put it into my pocket, slide of hand.

He's good at that.

He's got a high passive perception.

Yeah, twenty three straight in.

Yeah, he doesn't. He doesn't see you steal the water.

There's a lot, there's a lot occupying this guys, there are other shops in here.

I suggest we leave now. Plus I need to have a word with you outside.

I think to check it right now, so I'm yeah, I just follow you wherever.

I do want to note you know, this is the future, and in your perception check you would notice that at the shop entrance they have those like beepy barrier things, you know stores in our in our universe.

Yeah, that's true, stopped by twentieth century technology.

Yeah, people, I don't know, I don't know what they had them for a while. Yeah, I'll just I'll just well, whisper to the captain as we're about to head out. I'm like, I would have just stolen some but they have these beeby barriers, so if I pocketed any that, just the alarm would go off. Yes, that would be a trickiest situation to get out arena.

Are you just gonna walk through the beety barriers?

I want to look outside and see if anyone's walking along the street.

There's plenty of people in the street. It's it's it's a holiday, you there, you yell outside one of them. Yeah, I wanted a lot of people are ignoring you for a little bit because you obviously, it just feels like you're advertising for the shop. But eventually one person turns around and goes, oh.

Me, I recognize you. We've met before. Come over here and say hello to me. I'm sure it's you.

Somebody recognizes me, walks, no waddles towards the store. This old lady.

As they walk up, I would like to walk forward to shake their hand as we are in between the barriers and effectively spin them slightly into the shop. So as I go out, they go in. If the barrier beeps at all.

Oh yeah, and the barrier beeps, and so you guys have left. The old lady goes in, of course, Oh oh dear, what's happening.

Oh, it's just one of those things where you're bringing you know, when you're bringing something back in and it goes off. It's not that you've taken anything else. Don't worry. She's just coming back in. Stop right there to support a gun?

Ah yes, oh oh.

And he points it and he's going between Rick and the old lady.

Now, oh what it looks.

You know it's a gun, but you don't know if it's going to kill somebody.

I'm gonna walk in front of the old lady because like, yeah, Crag's not gonna stand for that ship.

I would like to take the can and kind of drop it out of my pocket on the floor outside in a way that Sigma can see.

Mm hmm. So we've got the Yeah, I've stepped in from the old lady.

And then I would like to walk all the way up to the shopkeeper, walk straight up, pressed myself, went to the barrel of the gun and go.

That is my grandma. You either right now or you sit down.

Intimidation.

I'm going to a pocket in the doctor pepper outside.

Would you get your intimidation for fourteen?

I would like to use a luck roll to do that again. I believe I have one lug point that I can do that with.

Yeah, can I help you too with that? Can I can?

I also try to like gleam over you and just be very ima my grandmother too, Yes, I mean I could, I'd be like, yes, yes, they are.

She's very adventurous, she all of us.

Yeah, so just roll again anyway eighty Wait, eighty is definitely good enough. So he goes, Oh right, sorry, I understand, must be a problem with the machine.

You be on your way now. Damn straight, but to see you everyone else, let's go outside. You.

I don't want to see you or your grandma at this shop ever again.

I guarantee you will never see my grandma in this shop again. Come on, let's go. It's one of my favorites.

It's all right, we'll get you back in the store. Don't worry that got That guy's so mean.

I just wanted to.

Go for a walk because it's not nice to be at home.

Well we can, we can still go for a walk together. Domestic woman, it's the same woman.

No, no, no, no, no, no, fuck this rustage.

I literally asked her, like, well, we can still go for a walk. What's wrong with home? Right now? Oh?

It's not nice to speak ill of your loved ones, so I shan't be a gossip, but it'd be nice to go for a walk.

Does she have any visible bruises on her.

No, it's not a physically abusive relationship.

Oh, just an emotional and I mental one.

That's good. Yeah, yeah, fantastics happened.

Pick up the can of doctor pepara gott and just pass it over to Crag Crag. This was far too much effort, but there you go. I know this was This would have went so much smoother if I just had money. I just give it to Spud inside of the fridge. I'm like, here, you go, drink up, Spud.

I can't drink this.

Why not?

My level is too low?

It doesn't high enough.

Oh no, it's gonna go flat now all right, give it to me. I cannot.

Oh boy, you could drink it?

Do I have a bottle? I'm not drinking it. I'm at full health. Crag. Could I borrow that plizz for a second? Yeah, here you go, boss. I'd like to take it a walk back in. I'd like a refund.

Please wait, sorry, he did just threaten you and say do not come back here again. Are you really walking back into his shop?

No, that's probably a bad time. I'd like to take it and go. If this goes flat, would you then be able to drink it?

Oh that's a good point. No, but I don't remember being a level two. I thought I was a level three. Why did it go down?

Oh no, crag? Hey, here's the dog's pepper. Do what you want with this.

I think that if people's numbers on the cards going down, we need to get to Kaiser. Yeah, we have it as possible and have a conversation.

Well, at least we learned about the kaiser being Uh what was the physical description again that he said?

Well, well, Crag, someone who use my disguise is self spell in order to slip past the guards, I'm going to be able to turn into something that is sugary and sweet.

All right, it's like a cookie, Crag, Yes, like a cookie.

The problem is, that's as specific as I've got. I need to find a picture of the king.

Okay, I look around for a picture of the king. Vena the vena.

You guys have waited long enough, Will you now enter the Oh, look, there's a picture of the king. It's on the known as board outside the church. Look, he looks so sugary and sweet. He's a giant gingerbread man.

How is that? How is that possible?

Well, it's bioscience. Anything's possible. In the eon Veil Navina.

He was made with a hydro span.

Up.

Is this like your food creations that you made?

Yeah, so I've got something.

I want to admit.

All of the other warlords have people who are better than me at making food creations, And I was the only guy for Carl Senior, and I have a failure.

I lied.

I know, I said I was the smartest food scientist in the entire universe, but I'm not even the smartest food scientist in like a twelve meter radius around my house.

Oh, Crawn, do not worry. None of us believed you.

On that one, like bullshit, but we still fuck.

We just liked your company, you liked Nobody's ever said that about me before. They just say, go make another one of your little meatball men.

You've shown me so much, so much new music and uh and your food plans. I mean, they looked they looked very tasty.

They tend to look great, but you know, in reality.

Well, how can this gingerbread creature have a daughter to marry?

I'm not sure, to be fair with the Kaiser, I never really knew what he looked like. I just heard about him. I think maybe maybe he used to be man, and he's commented himself to be more and more gingerbread over the years. That happens sometimes, you know, when people become more and more machine, but instead of machine, it was gingerbread. That makes more sense than like an animated gingerbread. It's easier as well. So maybe there's a part of

It's just with a human cough.

Like a giant gingerbread bad which is a human penis. I was thinking too logical and scientific. You are, you're a lady, and I shouldn't be talking about things like that around you.

It is okay, Oh well, uh, let us go into the monastery and see see what else we can find. I want to head to the top of the steeper.

Yes, you guys, ender the monastery, and choiet music is playing this sweet music.

Oh sweet music. It's playing as you guys.

Yeah, but you know that's that's how this whole, this whole kingdom is, I'll be honest.

Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.

And standing giving a sermon. He's mid sermon is the archbishop himself, Archbishop Caramel, you know, because he's got a giant banner that says the Archbishop Caramel is giving a sermon right now.

Have to change out those banners a lot.

It's it's electronic, guys.

This is a sci fi I have to remember it is a bit weird that like the you guys chose to go to like the people who like to pretend they're in medieval times, part of this world first in this sci fi campaign.

But yes, it is the future, so it is. It is electronic and it's saying that. And this is a proper like mega church situation. You know, he's he's he's preaching.

Well, Navida is going to realize that they're you know, mid mass.

And we must we must, we must sit we we must join with welked.

Yeah, we got to join in. It would be rude not to.

We're going to.

Grab some you know, some panther paplet seem like sweet hymn books.

Yeah they made out of sugar paper.

Nice and uh and go sit down and listen to the sermon.

Okay, I guess we cut back to Rick the group.

And go right, Well, I mean, worst coast scenario.

I can just disguise myself with the king as long as it's not like a you know, turn for gingerbread man with a massive cock who.

At this moment, a giant like a parade is now coming through. Oh boy, and they and they have big banners that have the king on them, and it's a giant gingerbread man with a human cock. Obviously he's wearing armor.

Everywhere. He just still has.

He rides a battle and he's intimidating his enemies.

It's going to give you advantage on every role. That is, my.

Goodness, Vina cut away from you, because the serven is gonna take like hours.

It's a long church service to a cutback. I assume Navena is in it for the long haul as well. Well.

Navina is going to be like quite invested in it, but also quite critical because obviously it's a.

Completely different religion.

Imagine Crumb is very very bored.

She will be like, well, that's not how things work as well.

I mean, as that's happening, I like onto one of the kind of party goers walking past us and go, my good sir, tell me these large facsimiles you have of the King, what's he like in real life?

Have you ever spoken to him?

Oh?

No, I've never met the King myself. Only the Dukes get to meet the King, only the Dukes. Has the King ever appeared in public? Very very rarely so has anyone actually ever seen the King? Yeah? The dukes?

Okay, yes, Based on the information you just gave me.

This guy's like fucking idiot. I just said that discounting the powerful conglomerate of a few small people at the top of this power structure.

But people see him.

You've seen the King. People see him on TV all the time. You know, he gives speeches. Yes, I see. And where would the king be right now? I don't know.

I'm not his dad.

Why would the King's dad be right now? Dead? Oh? King?

I hold up the I'm holding up the grandma so she could get a better vantage point at watching the parade.

I've never been this high up before.

Oh good, we've got somebody else with crag.

Now I see what that Vellinari was trying to do. Now it's nice to be high up.

Oh have you seen Navena? Yeah? I don't.

She's a jellyfish. She's just a jellyfish girl. That's basically her.

There's a there's there's quite a few Millinari in the town.

Right, let's turn to Sigma quickly. Stigma.

With this parade going on distracting people, now is probably the perfect time to sneak.

Into the castle. Yes, I think that's a good idea, right, But first what's your name? Grandma? Lady bonbon Lady bonbonn.

All right, well you know what, I'll be your relational assistant today. And we go, oh yeah, are you? Are you a of some stature? I would imagine, Oh, my husband's a lord?

Is a lord? Also a duke? No, it's above dukes, they're below them, below damn show. Do you have a Do you have an invitation to the wedding tomorrow?

My husband does, and he had a plus one, but he's not taking me.

That sounds awful. What kind of husband would do that to his lovely wife. I'm gonna march over there and give them a piece.

Of my mind.

Right, he's a powerful man.

I am a powerful ashcar. How powerful is your husband on a numerical level?

Listen, I'm just gonna hop over really quick and just give them a piece of my mind.

Where do you lie?

I'd like to take out their little dagrub god and go, this is a piece of Cragg's mind.

I was literally throw it at him.

Oh God, Josh, you would be here on the same fucking wavelang dude.

I was, Yeah, I returned to Crack and we'd like Crag please all right, matters like this requires some sensitivity. Let's not let's not threaten the woman's husband. But I don't know. We could have a word with him. I think we should. I think we should.

All right, So you guys said no, she's reluctant though, She's like, if you want to come, okay.

All right, now listen before I just asked this publicly, but I'm goad lady, Yeah, go ahead, Mark, I.

We have no you know, we don't want the causing the issues for you, but it would be very helpful to us if we could speak to your husband is powerful lord.

Yeah, that's what most people say. I thought you guys wanted to be my friend, but.

No, literally, I was gonna say, like, now, listen, I know you don't have to tell me if you're not comfortable, but you seem to have an issue with your husband, and I'm just trying to know if if anything's better.

In the house or something it was. I'm trying to convince her to tell us. So I actually like, I'm trying.

To persuasion then, But yes, that's what I'm.

Actually trying to do.

Yeah, it regards of the role beforehand, she will say, oh, ten is not.

Going no, no, no, no, no tactical mind Okay, yeah, well it burn a second wind and I roll a D ten.

Okay, good luck. I don't know how many of those you have left. Fifteen Okay, fifteen is better, so you'll go. Ok this is what she'll say it was. It was a mistake for me to tell you in the first place. I don't want it to be a room around town.

No, no, I will could.

Damage his credibility.

Is lord and brag money not a gossip.

We need we need the position of power. We need the money right now. I'm a level I'm a level four, he's a level five, and if you lose lordship, we're at risk of losing our eating rights.

That's no excuse for him to mistreat his wife or anybody for that matter.

It's no excuse. But it's why I haven't told anybody or talked about it. I just unlocked in this and this. I feel like I'm trying.

I think we should. I think we can help this situation.

I was partially just thinking maybe I could just, you know, while my way is away and then die.

Oh no, you're you're not a day over twenty three, ma'am. I don't.

Yeah, dragged, Maybe that doesn't understand. Like you're not a day over twenty three, ma'am. Come on, we could go. How old does she look?

I would say like.

Early seventies. Oh okay, yeah, okay. You're a lady. You have been a friend to us. We would simply like to be a friend to you. Okay, you feel stuck, perhaps we could help you.

Okay, okay, but I feel like I might regret this, but it's worth a chance.

Heroism.

Oh, I'd like to cast heroism on the old lady.

Oh, lady bon Ban. Yeah, well, she's impued with bravery from her husband.

Yeah, well, I'd like to turn to her blendy bon Bon if I may. The band of near duels you currently talk to won't be in town for long. However, we do have some rather important business. You're actually talking to the emissary of the Ashcar Kingdom. Here's my proposal. We head back to your house, had a small chap with your husband, move on, do our adventures I daring do and ne're duell and get out of your head.

If you wish. It's going to be scary. Do you want to get involved? I'm like holding her up still. You know it sounds the breaking of the palace. But we're just going to see your house right now. But I'm not frightened.

By the idea. That doesn't mean.

Would you like to not be frightened by your husband at least for the next.

I'm not frightened about the situation or anything for the next minute.

For the next minute, you walk, you walk, and it ends.

In that case, I'm not going to cast this. Get up to your husband, get to the door.

You get into the door, right, He goes, all right. She puts the key knock. No no, no, no, no, it's knock. She could just go in.

She's scan journey, ma'am, you've refused to call once. Now you're about to see something bad and then you'll accept the call. It's a cycle.

She scans her key card and the door opens. We cut back to Navena, So Novena and Crumb. The archbishop is doing his and he goes, I know, you guys know there is a wedding tomorrow. An in celebration of such wedding which I personally will be attending and you know consummating.

Wait, that's sorry, they differently here, what's the word apiciatingating?

I officiated the wedding, and so I would like to invite our special guest, the King, and onto the state. This giant gingerbread bad. That's what the post is A side gods tig I have zikiser.

Alight and everyone cheers.

They stand up, they applaud. They're having a great time. Now we come back to It's is very important. That's the religion of the Archbishop of Sugar continues to live in all of you.

Sim tomorrow. It is a good day, a very good day. Four. Despite the wars, we are celebrating love.

The vena. You do notice this giant human cock id.

It does not have an all right, the Vena is just gonna look at Chrum and they'll just exchange a glance of just like what is happening?

What's going on?

Things are looking good.

The general has made an attack on.

Those dirty dirty.

Ah what what sort of like what word would he use to describe.

We can deply just say ashcar Yeah, then oh bitter, that's the opposite sweeten.

Iteah oh yeah, those there are sour enemies.

Sour enemies. It's soon we were winness war. We so he's French. Now he.

And everyone's applauding is going to good and he's like, so now let us do the Lord's prayer and bow our heads and okay, now we cut back brick plan.

I'll tell you what's saying my when we finally didn't met the king, I hope he's not German and or French.

Honestly, any European accents. I would hate that absolutely.

Now let's get into this house and work out what the hell this woman's husband's up to, because he seems like a real piece of work. Lenny Bonbon, are you ready to introduce us to your husband?

As the door opens slowly because you already scanned a card, he goes, all right, honey, I've brought some guests. I said, no guests aloud, bitch. This is why this is the sort of behavior I'm talking about, which is why you're not invited to the wedding.

Oh, we're heard. You tell that you are invited to the wedding, my lord.

And you you, I guess you walk in and you see this old man. He's round like a giant jawbreaker. Oh, that's what he's wearing. Like he's like a big candy. He's got half a jawbreaker as a hat. Yeah, he's got a beard. And he stands up and he goes, you don't to me like that. I am Lord Bonborn.

You don't talk to your wife like that. I am too big to fit through the door. I'm still outside.

Uh, who are you opened the window? My name's crag like tapping on the window.

Who are you to talk to me like that? I am a lord of this land. Oh indeed we are. We're messengers from the king. We are aware that you have been invited to the wedding.

That is none of your business. Get out of my house. I'm outside your house. The rest.

He's quite abrasive. He's no ship quite seven. And and to be fair, Lady Bond was.

Like, I'm sorry, Maybe he's right.

Maybe this was a bad idea. Oh, I've funcked it all up again.

I'd like to turn the sigma the sigma. I'll lay my cards on the table for you. My plan was to attempt to charm and or intimidate this man. Take both of his invites to the wedding. That gives us two. Then we simply work out a way to get other people in. Maybe we can say that we get plus ones. We can use the emissary idea that was getting us a step closer to the goal. However, this man seems somewhat uncooperative and rather abrasive. What's your take on the situation currently?

I'll be honest, Captain. My trigger finger is itching the more of this guy speaks. I'm just wondering who his heir is. Maybe if the lady bonbon inherits his things, he should just be.

I really understand. The problem is if we turn and shoot this man together. Granted he made I but what's she going to do? She seems very stockholmed into this.

Oh, yes, don't.

Kill my husband, Lady Bonbond. We're not going to kill your husband. But you know he's being very dickish towards you right.

Now, you know what you get to know if he's lovely. He just called you a bitch. It's just humor.

That's not funny. If it would it be something you would do to somebody else. No, No, that's not appropriate. Then that's not right to be used on you. Right Oh, I am the emissary of the Ashcar Kingdom, Lord Bond, Bond.

Give me a deception, crag. This is a deception for you because this is actually.

Yeah, that is actually relevant. Okay, hold on, deception. It's not thirty. That's not as bad as it could have been.

But all the way from Lord King grand Rock himself.

Is that a real person?

That?

Yeah, he's he's the king.

You know, oh you know King grand Rock.

Oh man, everybody knows King grand Rock. He's the Yeah, the King. I'm just like, have you known him? Have you actually met him?

Well?

No, not exactly.

Okay, well then you're at the same level as me. Then basically no, and you have met the king. You are the emissary of the Ashcar Kingdom. Remember, I don't believe the king.

I don't.

I've done a lot of research on on like kingdoms and and lords and dukes and and all of that stuff.

And you you don't wear them.

You're not wearing the right uniform You're not doing anything right that. You are a liar.

You are no, wait it, you wear uniforms. He's a phony.

I can't believe it. I'd like to turn the sigma and then turn to Lord Bonbon.

He's pursed the test. No one's ever passed the test.

Lord Bonbon, You've been invited to this wedding because, as we all know, you are a remarkably important, wealthy and very attractive man. This is a test we give everyone to see if they can notice the heraldry that we present this fake emissary in. You are the only one who has ever seen through this, and that is because we knew you would be the right man for the job.

This is playing to his you know, ego.

This is a good angle.

Give me a deception. You need to be the fifteen oh man. But he's Rick and he has the plan. What the hell is that.

You still have your lucky point because you didn't use it before because had a problem.

That's right, More for the deception on that one. Try again twenty three.

Okay, thank god, that was your last lucky point is beforehand? It was advantage because of the being helped. Okay, he goes me. Of course it was a test. Nobody would be so rude to me. Oh, my wife of mine, you've you a part of this?

Oh yes, dearie, of course.

It was all a ruse to make sure that you are are worthy. Of course, I bet He's going to make me the next duke, and then I might you know, you know what I mean. I'm not going to say it around my wife. When she dies, Oh my god, we.

Will know exactly what you mean, Lord bon Bon. I will explain the plan to you very simply. We believe there is an assassination attempt on the King's life tomorrow at the wedding.

Sent at the king.

We have been sent to protect him. However, there are very few people in the city we can trust. We believe you are one of the few remaining trustworthy people.

I've always been loyal to the King. I've been loyal since the day I was born slightly and we knew that you were the only person who could do this. We need to sneak into the castle tonight. The reason we need to do this stealthily is because we don't know which other lords.

We can trust.

But the King won't be in the castle tonight, right exactly. Therefore we take up our position. The King arrives and we are already there, ready to protect.

Him wait for the wedding.

The town is under guarded at the moment because of the war that's going on. The General's out you've been, You've probably noticed we only had four guards at the front gate. Five grands of the front three well, five and four. We usually have way more. This is the perfect time for an assassin to strike, but also the perfect time to prove ourselves.

It is.

If we can protect the Guyser's life, he will reward you with riches and power beyond your wildest dreams. But the first thing we need to do is take up a position inside the castle and defensive position to make sure we can protect him. Are you able to assist us and in doing so your country?

I could pull a few strings. We knew you could. You could. Are you My name? Yeah, is Rick. I've seen no reason to lie about this specifically.

M.

And it's your title, my title.

I am the emissary off planet.

Wait three eight five three? I stand up and salute him.

That's a system that's like.

You are pretty passed the test. Were the one who would is the one of legend?

No? Sorry, so the king has hired you as personal protectors or tiying to that effect?

Right?

Or yes? Absolutely?

Our mission is so secret there aren't even colors for the codes that we are now having to operate under.

I'm glad he thinks of me. It's the one trustworthy lord. Indeed, I'm telling you, if there's a traitor amongst the dukes, it's the Crumble Duke.

We thought the same thing, Duke Crumble. All right, write that down, Write that down.

I'm so jealous of that roly Poly Duke. To clarify for the audience, roly Poly in this context is like a gamerally poly, like the dessert.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

I was thinking at a bug, yeah, because everybody was thinking about the bug. But it's a jam really poly.

Look it up? Is it a.

I think it might.

We don't have him, We don't have him over here. So to grab Lord Bonbon and be like my lord, we may not tarry any longer. Time is all the essence. Do you believe you can get us into the castle soon and we can put our defensive plan into position.

M I've been waiting for this day, my entire life. All right, Rick, we could do this. We cut back to Novena and and and crumb, uh Navina and crumb. The kaiser goes everywhere, you know, you finish the prayer, however it goes. And the kaiser goes no Kaiser. The king goes, m hmm, thank you so much, Don shan.

Ice.

I shall be seeing the best of you tomorrow.

Those who wanted the lucky ticket raffle Ye, looky, goodbye, my friends, goodbye.

And he there's a giant door made specially for him at the back of the cathedral that opens up and he goes out of and then that's a group of people that have to close it again, and the arch and you know, the arch, it goes and that concludes our sermon. We'll be having tea and coffee with extra sugar after the you know here. And on Tuesday we're going to be doing a good, big cleaning of the of the monastery and we will need hands. And if you can't, some of you could just sit here and pray.

Oh gosh, oh boy, Navita will turn to crumb. So did you hear that thing? There is a raffles for a wedding invitation, oh.

Which usually raffles cost money to enter. How much money do you have?

Nothing?

I believe.

Me me neither.

A matter then money.

Now cut to pocket pocket is sitting in like a suit of armor on the back of a horse, inexplicably, and he and he turns to this large man who's sitting on the back of These are robot horses. By the way, they're not real horses. I was going to say, the robot mecha horses. He turns and he goes, your Dukeship, it's so great to accompany you on this and be the sole protector of all your money. Yes, yes, wise, little one. You know you are shorter than I remember

Yeah.

So then we cut back to we cut back to Rick Crag and Sigma.

Yep so Stigma. I understand that we are playing up to this guy's ego, but I think that's the right move for now. We just need him to help get us into the castle. Then we can have a chat with the Kaiser or Kaiser Kaiser the King. That sounds like a good idea, who titles.

I'm not against this idea, but this guy really makes me hop and mad. I'm really trying to contain it, crag.

What if once this was all over, we've got into the castle, we've had a chat with Kaiser, we've worked out the civil war. Do you, and I say this with all the love, do you want to throw him in the moat? I just want old Lady Bombond to be to live a happy life. She deserves it, she can, she doesn't deserve how she's treated.

I feel that there's many years of therapy that are going to be required to undo what's been done to her. But while we're here, we can throw him in the moat.

I mean that would probably be a good start, to be honest. Yeah, excellent, all right, but.

I'll all fall along with you until then, right, Stigma crack, Are you ready to follow Lord Bonbon to the castle?

Yes? But perhaps we should tell the rest of our team to meet those at the castle. Communication devices we have, Navina, How are you being a crack?

Quiet?

They am at church.

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, so sorry.

She's a church guides, Yes, sorry, they were She's what.

He she's a church, not anvinahing to do? Naarvna? Have you been kidnapped? No?

We came to the sermon the King was here?

What is he look like? King was there?

Yes?

He he is a giant gingerbread man.

With an enormous cup. The rumors were true.

Crumb seems to believe that he has been food augmented, that he may be a man, but is now completely made of gingerbread.

Wait, Crumb believes he has made of gingerbread. Or Crumb believes the King is made of gingerbread.

The King has made himself gingerbread.

The kings augmented himself with gingerb powers.

We'd like biomechanics, that sort of thing.

Food Crumb, who gave you a communicator? I thought you made one for all of us. You weren't in the group when that was made. You're not part of the group. Chat Crumb. Oh you're you're right. I wasn't part of this. You're so actually right. I don't have one. I'm going to be honest with you.

What's going to happen is, yeah, he's just like right right next to my face.

Navena. The group that's exactly without Crumb.

Navina be the type of person be like, oh we're missing somebody, let me add them.

I'd like to make a smaller poggin. I have got to be quiet. I'm pretending to be a royal knight.

Are you also a church?

No? No, fuck churches. They're big scams. I mean I respect them because of the scamming in extra but no, maybe not pocketing and what we're doing in general. But who are you with and what have you achieved? I'm currently with Doke roi Poly. We're heading towards the Shortbread apartments. He's he's in the presidential suite. I'm thinking, you know, stealing all of his money.

Right.

We are going to go to the castle and attempt to speak to the well to Kaiser tomorrow. If you could keep Duke Rolypoly at his apartment or away from the castle for as long as possible, that would be very beneficial. No, I can do that, excellent, don't worry about it, right bye?

I love you.

I love you too.

To be honest, he did that to make Sigma mad.

Specifically, Yeah, are you ready to escort us to the castle and save Kaiser's life? Maybe it's you, it's you, it's sim right, he's asking you. I said, Lord.

I thought he said, Sigma, are you ready?

Sorry?

Lord?

He had a heart attack.

Okay, that would be really funny if he actually has just died.

Right now, well that solves that problem, of course, I am.

Let me get my well, no, I'll dress in my finery. I know some of the ways into the cus.

You know, I've you would sneaky, brilliant man. It's underguarded as well because.

Of the war. So let me get into my finest garb. And it's like a magic girl sequence. To be fair, it's it's the future, that's what he does. He presses a button. He's got this magical sweet He looks exactly the same, except for now. He has a hatter and like bow tie on his dawbreaker outfit.

It's a complete outfit. Press the button, sparkles, light show noises, and it's exactly but with a bow tie. Yeah, and a little top hat. Let's go.

She looks it looks like before, just like, hey, make sure, just just relax, make yourself. Some tea will be back.

Yeah, I'll make some tea with extra sugar. That's not allowed to drink it. I had a friend that got caught drinking unsweetened tea once. They sent him to their sugar mines.

The sugar mines. Oh this place sounds awful.

Totally reasonable responses.

To be fair, Yeah, that's not well, we'll deal with that crack. I feel that you may have to accept that at some point maybe the old woman is actually a bit of a bitch.

She's lived in a society and she studies the religion where she's been taught. If something's not sweet, it's not right, and that it's ingrained in her.

It's not her. She sent her friend, she agreed with her friend going to the sugar mines. Well at least she didn't.

She didn't get sugar crucified.

That's the thing. That's the thing.

It's like two twixes, all right.

Yeah, the more the more we spend time is not sweet old lady. We thought she was doing it? Yeah, approving of it? Do you know what wine with it? Do you know what indoctrination is? Rick? Yeah, absolutely, I'm sure what indoctrination is. But we can't just assume that every person we meet because they're nice to you is an inherently good person. Oh she's not just nice to me, she's a sweet old lady.

I don't approve of the crucifixion.

She doesn't approve. Point we can start from there.

And also Frankly, I don't think anyone deserves spousal abuse, regardless of the reviews.

Of course, absolutely, I'm not saying that she deserved that at all. I'm just saying that maybe she's not entirely sweet.

Excuse me, I do not abuse my partner. Treat her exactly how she deserves.

You called her, that's okay. Number one, that's a problem. And also number two, you caught her a bitch.

Sorry, we're still doing the test.

Yes, we're still doing the thing.

Well again, my goodness, I love passing these tests. A quick aside with the captain on the way to the castle. Okay, yes, Captain Pocket said he was with Duke Luke. He he's lying, right.

I have no idea whether Pockets turned the truth or not.

I just assume that whatever he's doing is probably going to be detrimental to us in some way in the future, so I'm preparing for it.

Okay, good.

Plus, if he is, then we don't have to deal with that. If he isn't with the jew Rolypoly, we don't have to deal with Pocket. Either way, we're coming out on top in some way through through.

Okay, are you meeting with Navina first?

And I think we would have told Navina to sort of meet. We're communicated, and so we're going to the castle, right.

Getting to the corn Banker or wherever the It is very much nighttime, okay.

And Natina did want to look into this raffle. You don't have any money, that's true.

To have any money, Yeah, that's true.

So you leave broke.

She just loves a raffle. We can do it, right, Navina at the fucking church tombola.

Yeah, Crumb and Crumb and Avena meets with the rest of the group and and the obviously Lord Bonbars like these two more members of your organization.

They are Indeed, it was imperative they didn't travel with us at the same time. One of the first rules of subterfuge. Don't all stick together. But we know we can trust you.

Oh, you can trust me. I've got a plan, a bondboard plan that doesn't work, guys.

I think it works. I think that's what we go with. That's what we've been missing, all right, you guys, we're not going to go through the front. So there's a guard that causes aside. And I know his father, all right, we're close friends. We're drinking buddies. We drink sugar water together. So he pre peaes, sorry, I just got a sudden pain in my heart. Okay, sorry, Oh that's quite a lot. So anyway, so you guys go to the side of the castle.

He's in the character an actual heart attack.

Is your left arm numb? Are you tasting copper right.

Out?

Yeah?

So you guys approach the side of the castle when there is a guard there and he's he's guarding one of the entrances up and bon Bon approaches him and goes, mmmm, she you're doing your job well, and that goes, oh, lord Bonbon, Sir, yes, I'm doing I'm doing I'm guarding because they sent my older brother to to the battle, so they've I'm the only one here. Well, is your lucky day, little jingle fizz. Your father is out there celebrating.

It's good.

From wagon wheels right, And he wants his only well what his son, to be there for him. But sir, I've got a god that you don't have to guard the castle. Nobody's going to be It's the day before a marriage. Oh, everybody's fighting out there. If there were intruders in the city, the guards at the gate.

Would alert us. And there's no intruders in the city.

You don't have to guard the castle. Plus, I could put in a good word with you know who. Oh okay, all right, lord okay, and he leaves, and the and the bond, Lord bonfor goes.

You like that?

Huh, that's what that's diplomacy.

That was remarkably impressive. So Mara will give him this. That was a good use of persuasion. That was genuinely quite impressive. Yes, yes, dude, So that's what that's what an emissary does. Then I guess, oh come here. From here on out, we may have to use stealth. Oh, don't worry, I'm great at stealth.

He goes, I can blend in with my surroundings, and he's.

Into a boulder.

Well, well, he's doing very something very similar. He puts his arms together, his head comes down, he becomes a giant jawbreaker, like a giant gold stopper.

Cool.

He just rolls into the castle.

All right, I'll do that too.

I turn into a ball dog and Robert and I roll and I'm thinking about like.

Hammond from Overwatch, right, like wa turns into a ball.

I haven't played Overwatch in a lot of years. They've probably added a lot of characters since then. I like, he can play Overwatch. Okay, I can't do that.

Well, I can't duck down and then just start rolling pole forward, floor, roll repeatedly to get to them.

Okay, idea stealth roll. I'm going to Yeah, I'm going to do just with advantage because of your disguises. Okay, so if you for give me stealth seven seventeen, but with advantage you have advantage, yeah, seventeen Also great segment with advantage please twenty advantage.

Ship as well, please.

With a vantage fifteen. Yeah, the average is good. You guys are good.

You're sneaking through the shadowy corridors of this kind of.

Yeah probably yeah, probably also turning to a ball, right, Yeah, I guess I can.

I can.

Yeah. You look like a big gun drop machine, spin cycle, just going. Yeah.

Occasionally a guard will turn and look and go. I thought something was there, but it's actually just four giant sweets.

I'll be honest. I think if everyone else is doing it, Sigma is fully peer pressured and.

You're like a very sweet like that's the only one. Yeah, these must be the special sweets the king is ordered for the wedding. Okay, back to playing card games with my best.

Friend instead of playing the Vistoria card game. Yeah. Weirdly enough, balloon manned me again.

Real, Mystoria players know what that means. So you guys roll until eventually, I guess you're going to reach the throne room.

We just go from doors straight to throne room.

Awesome, ye, we'll you're navigating through.

Yeah. Really is not dissimilar to what you wanted to do with the tree Craig. Yeah, yeah, no, I mean we're here. It's not dissimilar to how this all again. I'm surprised this is actually working. And now you're the throne room.

Obviously there's nobody here, like the King's not here. Yeah, but you you roll, I mean you you're here now I assume we've got to be higher for here. There's nobody in the throne room, by the way, like the god there were guards outside the front door, but there's nobody inside.

To turn to Sigma sigma crack. Yes, now we are inside. Are we still in need of Lord Bonbond's assistance or do we need to away get him?

Are we asked? Are you asking me to put him in the fridge? Is what you're saying. No, I don't believe a fridge is a good idea. I don't want to carry him around. The fridge is pretty fully you've already got it's uh, a spud should be no, no spuds in that. Yeah, spuds, lord Spud, Yes, spuds in that. The problem is that this lord, obviously he's a bit of a loose end. M all right, I have an idea. I open up the fridge. I like where this is go? It comes tumbling out, Lord Spud.

Now it is time to take your rightful seat as the ruler of the Kendy kingdom.

What is going on?

Mad?

This is big quick moment. You don't become king just by sitting on the throne.

No, see as that is one hundred percent how it works. It's like king of the hill kind of rule with the thrown on top of the hill.

Obscurring is a fucked up place.

Right, my Maybe not all ashcar places work, but specifically, yeah, this is back to a war torn country.

Yep. There are different rules, different regulations, here. You can't just put a man on a throne and say he's now in charge. There needs to be are you sure? There needs to be a diplomatic accept acceptance of it. But you know what a good one. Let's try. All right, this might work. Who knows? All right, spud, go sit on that plant your keyster on that throne up there.

He steps towards the throne, Lord Bonbon goes, no, don't you dare not thrown? Shove him in the fridge, The Lord Bonbon, yes, give me a fuck strength contest.

You critically failed. He might critically fail to though, And.

To be honest, he has a minus three, so he could actually you could. He could still lose here because the critical failure is in the auto. You can still roll less than four. Here he rolls four, He rolls exactly four. Going to just have a slap fight, trying to get him into Yeah, yeah, yeah what what traders?

Traders?

You guys are traders. You're betraying me, your lord the lord had should have known.

He should have known.

Huh.

I would like to assist and push Bonbon into the fridge.

YEA, if it's one of those things where if we are equal, then like, I don't know, I have a plus three to strength.

What's his modify?

Well, Rickman, just give me a fucking shredth because.

Failing we should be good here, you know what.

Five, I'm rolling for him again because because he wrote again at that point. Now he's in the fridge. But he said, even the fridge let me out here.

Okay, why did you shove him in the fridge? Well no, you know, it's okay. He abuses his wife, all right, Spud, I.

Was just going to tell him to go home. We send him home, Sigma. We're sending him back to abuse that old lady some more. Now she may not be perfect, she may agree with some difficult things, but she doesn't deserve the abuse he was giving her.

Oh but they thought we are going to, you know, handle it in time. We will.

That's why he's in the Yeah, yeah, yeah, just the fridge is Yeah, we put them in there when you know, we need to deal with that problem later and hopefully we won't forget about them.

You're going to convert this fridge into an iron maiden at some point.

You've got plans with the fridge. Yeah, all right, how's sitting on the chair going?

Oh, It doesn't feel right, but I would do it. He sits on the throne, a magical moment as he leans back, gazing.

Over the throne room. You look resplendent.

Yeah, he's just a chat, doesn't really do anything.

I kind of I've expected it to be trapped. Yeah, me too. I was hoping it wouldn't blow up.

That's pretty good trap his own chat throne?

Yeah, is that does it?

Recline? Is there like a scepter next to it? A cup holders? What are the features? Yeah, that's ruling ruling in style. There going into a bed? What is this?

Do?

Light lights?

The lights go dark and they're like pink spotlights that out like shiding ground and.

All right, spot maybe just be careful pushing any more buttons.

Oh, okay, I won't Okay, I kept him. It's a huge the way. Yes, I was just saying what the king was into. Yes, sorry, yeah for his huge cock. The Now that we're here in the throne room, obviously the king is not in the palace tonight, but I'm assuming he'll return here to sleep if we find his room, which and I like, turn to the bed with the pink spotlights. This might be it, but if we find where he's sleeping, we could intercept him before he goes to bed and have the conversation with him tonight.

Excellent excellent plan, excellent idea. Now part of me believes that the bed we're looking at right now is more of a perfomman's chamber unless of an actual sleeping, comfortable bedroom area. This is anything a bit of an exhibitionist thing going on. So we can either wait here for him the king to come back, or we can go and find where his actual room is.

I vote for the second one. We could Yeah, we could split up, or we could look around. Is there anything behind the throne, like a door or anything? What's behind the throne? Uh? Nothing?

Oh and more buttons. I could press them.

I mean, you're the king, so you could do whatever.

But I don't want to say low bum but is still alive in the fridge. So he is making a lot of noise that he's banging on the fridge.

Oh, it's the sound proof fridge, so it's not true. It's insulated. Though it is insulated. It's he's uh pressing in the vienna. Before we press buttons, could you silence this bon bon? Oh? You could you could do that. Our hands are very good at silence. Yeah, I assume. I assume he wants me to to punch. I thought you're actually gonna cast silence him.

Yes, I suppose I could.

All right, all right, open the fridge door.

You're gonna no, no, no, no, here's what's gonna okay, lord bonbon all right, we'll let you out.

You just gotta stop pounding. Okay, are you going to kill me?

No?

Just you can't stop making noise, and I'll open the door immediately and I will not hurt you.

I don't trust you because I am kind of I asked the test. I nothing chest test. We believe that there was a bomb planted under the throne itself, so we sent one of our loyal minions onto the throne to sit and see if it exploded. But to make sure that you were protected. In the case of an explosion, we placed you inside this fridge. I do need another deception here, but it's so much better than I feel pretty confident with that plan. Is to be fair, Yeah, I hope they don't.

Yeah, well, the first trip we got today, I think, well, well, well, you.

See, we couldn't risk putting you in any danger at all, but we had to take every precaution we could.

Well twenty six.

What a wonderful test, I admit I was. I was never fooled. I knew it was the whole time. I was just playing my part most long excellently, Lord Bonbon. Now we have ascertained there is indeed no explosive device of the three. If you remember what I said before, the king is not in the palace tonight.

I don't even remember that, not even to sleep. He returns he will. Where does he sleep, obviously we know, But where do you think he sleeps?

Nobody knows.

I'm sure you know. It would be very helpful if you did.

He walks off into the forest, and which happens every morning. It's something to do with the fund that he's a giant gingerbread man. I don't ask questions, all right, a sigma sigma.

I do want you to prepare for the fact there is a very small chance the king is fucking the dragon. Oh that dragon.

Oh shit, I didn't say I did immediately go to the dragon.

I completely forgot about the dragon. The dragon. There is a giant gingerbread dragon. There is a gingerbread dragon out there at holy shit. Okay, okay, this is just really where he was from. Do you know where in the forest he goes to?

Just goes out.

I don't follow him. I see what if protecting him means following him?

You want to go into the forest, that's where the gingerbread dragon is.

We're well aware. But are you brave enough? No? No, no, no, no, no no.

I am not going to the forest. I will stay here and protect the king in the morning. You said the assassin was assassinating him in them during in the wedding. Anyway, like, that's the whole point of where.

We can to be too careful. You know what if they followed him home, exactly what? I will stay here. I think I think you will be courageous enough to conquer that dragon.

No, maybe maybe we can go and he can stay here and keep watch.

Yes, through Lord Bonbon, Lord, believe you may be the only person capable of sitting on that throne and keeping it safe.

He does you know he was going to get here early in the morning before anybody else does. If you want a wa to one appointment with the king, you will get it if you wait here, if that is what you want.

But if you want to fight a gingerbread dragon, go to the forest. No, I think the one on one appointment with the king sounds like a great idea. And then depending on how that goes, we may or may not get the dragon involved somehow anything. So we're staying here. Then I think that's the best course of action.

Okay, how many points of entrance are there to the throne room that we're in, just in case we need to defend from a random attack into this room?

One?

Can I check? And can I also check if there's can there's any hidden.

Give me that give me that perception? Check under the throne, Yes, is a hidden entrance, and you l one of the buttons of the throne if you you're sort of tracing your hand around the side, and there's this one candied brick that's slightly different. Your keen ices that you press it down. This door opens up and there is a small room there and inside is a small man in kind of like a like almost like a video game set up, and he turns round he.

Goes, oh, shyser To be continued.

The last of the sun's light bled out across the horizon, smeared thin and ugly. A night took hold of the planet with the casual confidence of something that knew it couldn't be stopped. It was only then that Sweet grasp the full depth of his own naivete, and it settled on him like a bad debt. He'd been wandering the Spice Plains for hours, marching along with nothing but stubborness for a compass, and it hadn't once occurred to him

You're awake now.

Sweet blinked water from his eyes. Morning lights stabbed in, pale and sharp, and slowly the world pulled itself together, canvas tents, a low fire burning down to embers, boots in the dust, and looming directly in front of him, a lichen big even by lichen standards, burly broad as a tank, hunched slightly like the crown itself, had learned to be cautious around him. Four eyes regarded Sweet with lazy interest, Two fixed on his face, too drifting, watching

This was new.

He'd managed tense talks before, across tables behind armor, with rules and witnesses, but never tied up on the ground with a Lichen loomin over him like he was dinner. Despite his namesake. Still, training was training, and when steel wasn't an option, manners were be polite, be noble, project confidence and hope it passed for strength. I offer my sincerius apologies, he found hisself, saying, wriggling against the ropes

Sweet?

He replied at once prompt, No nonsense. That earned another snort Sweet. He glanced behind him to where Sweet's uniform was being held hostage armor like that doesn't come from nowhere? Kaiser's knights.

Yea. His eyes flicked back to Sweet's face. What happened? You're lost, Sweet.

Drew in a careful breath. I was indeed formerly in service of Kaiser, he said, However, I have since chosen to enter voluntary exile. I seeks for the greater outside the kingdom. The word sounded strange outloud, larger, more fragile. More silence followed. Then the lichenbarked out another laugh, louder this time. That's the stupidest thing I've heard all week, he said, cheerfully, willingly chasing a worse life, No pay,

Truth, what cause would I have to lie?

Sweet said, keeping his voice level, though his throat had gone tight. You could be a spy, The lichen sniled back, scoldingly. Gone, there's a war on last time I checked. Come on, Marx. Another voice cut in lighter, sharper. A human girl perched on a crate short distance away, wrapped in traveled stained Brown's watching the scene with a frown on her face. If he were a spy, would he really be sleeping out rough in the middle of the Spice Plains?

Mok shot her a look.

He might be a shit spy, he snapped, wouldn't be the first. He turned back to Sweet, lips curling, and we can't afford to be careless with your handed as it is. He stepped away, then gauntlet's clanking as he started rummaging through a bag. Sweet hesitated, then cleared his throat. Manners first fear, second, may I wire, he said, carefully, as to who you are Max looked up from the bag and smiled. It was all teeth, too many of them,

Sweet voice wavered despite his best efforts.

What is this?

What's this device?

Mox's smile returned, slow and mean. Security, he said, detonation collar, one button. He mined, a click with his thumb, and the problem goes away.

He crouched in.

Front of him, metal creaking eyes leveled with sweets. Up close, the scars looked deeper, older, earned. You should feel lucky, he said quietly. Most folks we find out here don't get a conversation. They get a bullet and a shallow grave. He straightened, glancing back at the others. You at least get a chance. Ods, So what precisely at proving you're worth the trouble of keeping alive? Mark said, simple as that.

You say you're a.

Knight trained, I assume thoughts for Kaiser, that's valuable experience. He flicked a glance back at Sweet. If you're telling the truth, that skill could be useful. He gestured vaguely towards the horizon, towards the unseen chaos in the distance. See ivil war is a gift if you know how to unwrap it. War Lords staring at each other, bleeding themselves, thin eyes, Ford Backs exposed.

His fangs, shone in the light.

And so we strike where they aren't looking. Sweet felt the shape of a trap closing, neat and unavoidable. And you Max's finished will help us do it, whether you want or not. He rose to his full height, now casting a long shadow of a suite. Congratulations, sir Knight, he said, You've just found your greater purpose,