SPACE PIRATES D&D #3 | "Chips are Down"

Hello, everyone, Welcome to Space Pirates, Dodges and Dragons, Episode three. I'm here again with Rick Plan Josh Dripe Hayes.

Hello, everyone, welcome. I'll be playing Rick Plan. Don't worry. We've always got a plan.

I've always got a Rick Plan. I'm here with Crag Techy Water one.

I'm Crag got a fridge thanks to Rick Plan. He upgraded my fridge.

So it's like a fun update. Here we caught a quest of vida. Hello, I only roll chrits. Oh, it's true. I'm gonna I look forward to you rolling straight two's this session. I'm here with a Sigma swabty swaberty Sigma. I am also here Hello Hello, and he's on an actual microphone now, and not a top microphone and or a fifty dollars microphone.

You enjoy this high quality rendition of my voice?

I do. I do really like it a lot.

I want to go back to the old microphone. This is this is too much clear, it's too.

Your voice was never meant to be heard at this high fidelity.

So you know how TVs have got so good that it doesn't matter to our eyes anymore.

Yeah, you show, you show like a modern TV show in four K to someone from the fifties, their head will speaking of.

Speaking of exploding, great segue. The last thing, last thing that happened on this episode of Space D and D was the crew arrived on the planet of Gastrovia to drop off doctor Kernel Crumb PhD. They walked through, they discover that they have this oppressive system of people being unable to eat if they do bad enough in society. As they went to go meet the regional manager of Global bitz Burger on the planet, Carl Senior, his head exploded and now the group is standing there with the

Mm hmm what you mean by that? Wait, I don't even care what kind of French fries, creek cut, shoe string, what are we talking aboutries?

No?

No, I assume they were no, no, no, we saw that giant that the armor is one giant fry, which I guess French fries.

They wouldn't be called French fries. They'd be like, I don't.

Know, potato six chips in it. We're like eighty percent British here we should just say chips.

I called French fries chips last week. I told you British chips.

The negative of calling them French frises that we would then have to canonically admit that France still exists in this universe, which is somewhere which.

We don't even We don't even know if Earth exists in this.

Universe blown up a while ago.

I'm saying that like that the Earth, humans, whole world did get destroyed, but we don't know if that was Earth or a different planet. We don't know if this universe is the future universal, it's a parallel, completely different fantasy universe.

Cosmeror, I got you. We'll go with chips. We'll go with chip guards ship.

Yeah, they're chip guards. So they're like they have more on that's vertical with a little you know, the yellow yellow tip chips. They're just like chips, like French fries.

So have they also witnessed Carl's head exploding?

Oh no, they had their eyes closed. Of course they did what.

You like.

With us. What was that? Must have been the wind.

They know it's not us, it's.

Not you guys. So the chip guards turned towards you and they go what did you just do to call? And Crumb goes, oh, Crumbs, this.

I am so sorry.

If this is my fault, it's probably not because I didn't do anything. But I have a track record with this, so I just want to let you know I didn't.

You have a track record with murdering regional managers. Guys.

Wait, well, when I worked at Klobitesberger's last time, it was just the store manager and I didn't kill him. But within the first hour of me clocking in, he did die.

All right.

They all raised their French fry guns, the chip guds.

I'm gonna like put my hands up, and I think what my friend here is trying to say is that this has nothing to do with us.

No, no, we did not any of this.

We just you guys walked in here and then his head exploded. What do you think we are some sort of mind powers make his head explode? Yes, yeah, those guys do exist.

And clean over to Sigma and I'm like, could you actually do that?

No?

I don't, alright, gotcha, gotcha? You might have fired a gold really quick. Wise couldn't see like Goku, who's Goku? You know that he's really fast and you can't see it when he said.

The is he here right now?

A thing?

Is he? She's a person? Micadolens Okay, that was a big fan. This is going on as soon as the head explodes. Originally I want to have gone sniper get down and just dive a crumb push him behind a desk, because I assume somebody's shooting at us.

Yeah yeah, yeah, so you're you're already braced into defensive position. Is anybody else ducking behind counters after sniper get down?

When he says sniper like, Crag is like, wait, I'm a bodyguard.

I'm gonna like guard you.

I'm gonna like throw myself over you like a dome of Frockridge on my back.

Crumb Rick Crag.

Crag, No, no, no, Crag. Then the fridge that's behind me. So then Pocket's gonna jump into the fridge. I'm not gonna lie because he's gonna fie. My magic peas are also in the fridge. So there he's in there with the men.

He's in there with the piece. Ok So it's okay, crumb Rick Crag, fridge, Pocket, Yes, okay. And so it's just the Veda and Sigma now standing there awkwardly to describe the room. It is a grand like business office. It's got the giant pillars made of Burger steel burgers, You've got the French fried guards. You've got the throne, and behind him is a giant glass window looking out

You know, yeah, of course the window itself hasn't been compromised at all, hasn't been compromised.

At all for what you can see yet, but there is a giant window behind them.

Are there bullets in this dimension that could hit through glass and just kill biological matter?

Are you asking? Are you?

Yes?

I'm asking Rick that who I'm currently guarding. Did you see a bullet?

I'm to push up as best of the cam with krag and a fridge and pocket on my back and not crush crumb underneath and go crag. I've seen a lot in my time, so I have no idea. It's very possible that could be something that goes through glass but just explodes heads. However, now you point out that the glass hasn't been broken. It's unlikely to have actually been a sniper shot from outside. That is various stewetops of it. Wait wait, we learned about that in college.

I do want to note, actually Pocket isn't with you guys, because he went off to do trading.

It's just crumbed and ricked, then crag then.

Fridge of the fridge, so in the center of the room.

Mean Avena, but I guess having a semi kind of standoff with these guards who you said the weapons to us.

I was I was going to say, Navena is in a little bit of shock from watching a man's head explode. This is all getting a bit much. She didn't, she didn't witness She didn't witness Jeremy explode. Obviously, she just saw me after math. You know, she beat up her guard, She beat up the prison guard. But like, now, she's just watched a man fully die.

Yea, yeah, well one of the prison guards died.

But yeah, but he was he wasn't the one that she was fighting. Oh yeah, yeah, I knocked the guy out.

So this is the first body. This is the first death Navina has witnessed.

Oh god, Okay, okay, I see what's happening here. We've come for this meeting, You've waited for us to walk in, you've blown his head up, but now you're trying to blame us, escapegoading us.

Okay, so I mean the the fry guards get quite piste off of that. I think Crumb underneath I guess the plan and crag Sandwich is like, we got guys, we got to get out of here.

There's so much this this this building is going to be teeming with gods? Are we running?

I have a car.

I'm talking to Rick, I'm not talking to Crum. Yeah. How many gods are there this room?

In this room? There are currently four guards, but the building obviously will have a lot more, at least at least at least tipple what it's the availed word, You guys wouldn't Oh.

Okay, gotcha gotcha. I'd like to, while I'm still trying to push up, kind of turn to Crag and chat and go. You saw how far we had to walk into this building to get to where we are now, did you pay any attention to how many guards we had to walk past? Because lady, hell, they might have to fight our way back through them to get out again. Would you would you allow me to rull history for that?

If I was paying attention, Well, I could just tell you you when you were walking through the building the offices, you couldn't discern who's a guard and who's an office worker.

But the building was full of people, you know, hundreds of people in this building.

So sorry, are all the office workers also addressed as chips? No?

No, no, they're not, they're not. What I'm saying is you don't know which office workers are strapped?

Okay, okay, wait wait wait Crag is a seasoned veteran of many battles, so can he tell like that that's a soldier, that's a guy that can I think you would kind.

If you told me to do this whilst you were going up. But this you're trying to do it for memory now, So yeah, I'm trying to do it for memories. I was wondering if I could do like history or something.

Yeah, yeah, thank you. Turn the crack and go crack. You're not gonna like this, but I think I've got a plan to get us out of here. I'm always with your plans, Rick, Boss, go ahead, I'd let to tap in quickly and go Sassy, this is Rick. Can you hear me?

Yes, I was. I was having a nap, but.

I'm sorry to wake you up. Can you scan the building and work up the room we're in? What's building? I don't even away on the other side, huh, Sassy? The building that we're in. Can you pick up that position we are building this lot of people that look like chips. This was gonna be a really simple plan, Sassy. There's a massive glass window on one side. We're quite high up. I need you to park out side in the air with the cargo door open, because we're about to make one hell of a jump.

I okay, let me let me go down the list of things firstly. Firstly, first, I'm still trying to.

Push up and not underneath, while Satsey is.

Just I can only control things inside the ship like I and like the you know, like Galactus all of that sort of stuff. Right, I don't know where the hell you are like scanning something of that minutia is not it's not it's not in my manual. Secondly, I can't fly without somebody piloting me, which.

Is like that seems like a skill issue. Is that?

Crag also tuning in. Now you need your backchat Crag.

We've all got ear pieces, but we can all talk to each other. That was the point of having the ear pieces.

Hi say, hearing all this, Naveda's going to step out of it and contact Pocket.

Uh sure, rats man, you hear He's going like, yeah, so this is limited. What do you mean you don't want to buy it? What do you mean? Wait, it's limited? A DT Are you fucking stupid? Oh yeah, that man listened to me. You don't need to get back to the ship.

What okay?

And then you hear.

Like almost like an explosion go off?

Okay, and he goes oow fuck sorry an explosion just went off near me.

Sorry what were you saying? Ratsman? Get back to the ship now, okay, you need to come pick us up.

All right?

Okay, So Pocket starts running towards the vessel, I guess, but that's still gonna take a little while.

Yeah, I don't think he does. I think that's happening. I'd like to kind of push up and reach over to Sigma. How close am I to Sigma at this point? Well, yeah, across the room. Okay, gotcha. I'm going to kind of look over and say, Sigma. Very simple plan. I think we hide behind this desk. I assume there's a big desk in the room at the end of it. Hide behind this desk for approximately thirty seconds. Then we smash

Yeah, these guys are trying to pick a faith with us.

Yes, and I don't want to fight the rest of the building that they're in, So I think we can survive them for roughly thirty seconds and then get the hell out of here.

If we oblige them.

Fight these guys from now, I'm pretty sure I can figure out how to lock the elevator or something at least for a little while.

That sounds good to me. You know why, because you are goddamn good at what you do. I'd like to use that chance to bartically inspire him.

Okay, all right, okay, so.

How aggressive of the chip men becoming?

Oh very much? Say, to be honest, you guys have been talking for a while. They're a bit annoyed, and you, guys, I think they might stop firing on you. So Sigma is your turn first. So they have all now pulled their weapons in that aiming at you, Sigma specifically, because you're the only one that's still standing there, stood there. Yeah, but you're the most annoying looking.

I am just a girl. How big is the pillars in the room. They're big enough to hide behind.

They're definitely big enough to hide behind you.

Okay.

And there is his large desk as well large his large burger desk and his chair. You guys are behind some desks at the back of the office like that. There's there's desks scattered around this place because it's kind of like, right, this is the Headhunter work area.

So first of all, I'm just aiming at one of these one of these girls go like.

Far right guard all right, that hits. It's no sneak of tact damage. But you do hit. He's a what God, he's a.

Far right card. It's just because they don't have Josh, you.

Gotta turn off you noise oppression because I could see you totally.

But I just I just is a very good word.

I just for all our blind listeners. I just thought, just go. Actually that doesn't help for the blide listeners. Yeah, he reminds.

I got it. I got it. In his mid twenties, is moving his head while keeping his mouth open and making the impression of laughing. Josh, do you hear that? Take You just said you were in your mid twenties, mid twenties. Thank you, I'll take that. That makes me feel very good about myself.

Oh wow, he's actually forty four.

In between, right, Sorr. I hit this guy with my blast pistol.

It only does a foe damage, and I'm going to run backwards to hide behind one of these pillars. I'm gonna use my cunning action to attempt to hide.

Yeah, okay, go ahead, rob me that stealth so the the blast fires off at hits all and you're just turning visible in front of his eyes. Twenty six repressed an advice, and you go chip splinter off this guy because he just like in his arbor. The padding is just layers of fries. So when you vast it, a bunch of them fall out onto the ground. And that's what they use, this like bullet protection, reinforced fries.

Very stupid.

They're just well, he's still alive. He only took four damage and it worked because I shot badly.

I got him.

Anyway, that's the end.

My turn, Sigma, Rick, it's your turn, right.

I realized that there's this what three guards left?

No?

No, no, the guard of the four guard is still alive. He's probably like half wounded.

Alright, I'm gonna try to strike some talk and the turn to crack and go crag. Should you mind just rolling off for a second? No?

No, no, So I'm like I'm like on my hands and knees like a tent, kind of like over you, kind of like that. So I'm not like crushing you at the moment.

In that case, for the role play posters, I'd like to kind of roll out, grab Crumb and just launch him over the desk to the other side.

Is this your common technique? But Jeremy and thou Crumb, it's just because I need him protected.

I need him on the other side of the desk and the guards can't shoot him.

I think the.

Guards i'd throw him into safety on the other side of it is.

Okay, you guys are already on the other side of the desk brilliant, So I'm just keeping that brilliant.

I'd like to use what remaining movement I have to kind of jump up and slide over the desk, and I've not got a pistol because I've given that to Pocket. So I'm hoping that Sigma is going to understand what I say when I shout Sigma gun and just reach my hand out to him.

Sigma, I do know if you would give up your weapon, would you, I'm.

Going to throw it back to you in a second that I just need it for now.

I would allow you to do this. But the thing is Sigma. Okay. Sorry. Firstly, Rick, you have no idea where Sigma is. He's completely invisible to you because he's hidden.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, hold on, hold on, let's be realistic.

Hid from the guards because I moved behind a pillar.

Yeah. Actually, this guy's behind the desk.

He can see me. You can see it.

Okay, Yeah, but I will say sigma. If you were to take an action to throw your gun at Rick, I think it will reveal you from stuff.

Oh in that case, I will change my actions.

Okay, I will notice that is hiding.

I will slide over the desk. There is I've got no ranged weapons at the minix. I've gave my gun to pocket. Is there anything physically on the desk I've picked up and just throw at one of the nearest guys.

I still have that dagger I gave you, because you can use a dagger as a projectile weapon. You can throw a dagger.

You do you have a chunk of your crack skin.

Yeah? Yeah. My objective here is going to be to get their attention, because I think I can survive a round of shooting using one of the traits. So I'm going to slide across the desk, hold out the and just find the nearest guard to me and just launch it through the air.

It's on your it's on your sheet. A's knife. But then you're gonna have to take it off your sheet afterwards, because it will be gone. You launch it through the air, it flies. I assume at the wounded guard or want all of the non wounded ones.

I think the wounded guard is probably going to be on the floor right now, so I'm gonna try and take out one of the non wounded guards.

The chip has protected him enough.

The chip has protected him well, you know it. And in that case, I've seen what Sigma's shot at and I thought, right, I'll I'll see the advantage you've given me. Throw the knife through the air at the same guard.

Okay, go ahead, do the damage. Four. It's actually quite funny. This is not enough to take about. So the knife will go to stick into his other shoulder where it hits a giant chip, and now he stumbles to the ground, but he's he's staying there, firm and ready.

You can't take me down with your pathetic toys. I am the highest chip, the frenchiest of fries. As soon as I've thrown the knife and kind of stood up on the other side, I'd like to just call out to the other kind of guards. Come on, then, lads, let's see what you've got. The aim is to try and get their attention onto me so the rest of the team can do their attacks.

And they're like, you know what happens when the chips are down it's good, Navina, it's a good thanks guy, it's good. Thanks, Okay, proud of that one. I think Navina's gonna run up to one. How far away are the guards from us, say, twenty five thirty feet within move you? Yeah?

Yeah, run up to one of the unbeaten up guards.

Okay you far left? Yeah, yeh left, far.

Left, and we'll go for an unarmed strike.

Yeah.

What are you making your hand into as you run up to the guard. What is the natural enemy of a fright the fork?

Fork?

All right?

Yeah, I mean, but I'll just do the classic, the classic bulbous hand.

Oh, the classic bulbous Yeah, the class bulbs.

Yeah.

Fourteen doesn't hit the third armor, the fry armor you and it just hits the fry pack that they have on their chest. And some of the fries go full out, but they're good.

I'm going to expend the focus point for flurry of flows, so you're gonna make two on arms strike more unarmed arm strokes Bang nineteen nineteen hits fifteen, also hits fifteen hours he's next. As one blows off the chip armor, I still spin and reach around and then get still to swing or knife and fork.

N sport, sure, knife and fork.

If I the attack Nevina cutlery attack, that's not. The text covers like if it was a mango. Yeah, that's enough to are you killing it or not? Least seven? Yeah, not legally, not befoul. Okay, I'm not eating the guy.

Wow.

Okay, describe how you cutlery the guy not lethally that that there're sporks okay, so mad and spikes.

Yeah, so you know I can use the bloot end of the spoon part and you know the damage him bloody smash, chips flying everywhere.

He collapses to the ground and he goes ah ah ah. Friends avenge me and he collapses, oh conscious but collapses. So that's one one of the three. Are you doing anything else?

I don't think so. I think I've used everything that I can do.

Okay, cool, cool, cool, Yes, Crumb is behind the desk now, and I guess with Crag, but he's going to put his head over and go Rick. I have a car.

We could Crumb get back down on the floor until the fight's finished, for God's sake.

Okay, Okay, I also have I do have a gun. They all Global Bikes employees come strapped.

Everybody, Welcome to McDonald's here.

You're on gastrovia. Yes, because you know there's a bunch of culinary warlords that are like vying for territory and as such.

That would have been really bloody useful before I still across the table and threw the only knife I have. One of the enemies ask me, crumb, I just look at you and assume that you're useless. Give me your gun.

Okay, he gets out of his guard. If he throws it to.

You, i'd like to catch the gun.

Yeah, I would say you're able to clacch it quite efforlessly. It is a Global Bites branded gun, so like the top of it looks like a burger. It's got I.

Hope it doesn't shoot mustard. That would be so great if it's just ketchup gun.

It has like a ketchup and mustard as little tubes hit into it, so it can it shoots bullets or blasts, but you can also shoot condiments if you like. Yeah, it's multi purpose. It's a multi purpose shaker on it. Uh No, he wouldn't have it on his because he's not allowed it.

Oh that's right, he's not allowed salt. He's only allowed to ketch up and mustard. Yeah yeah, yeah, my character sheet to have globo bites blast pistol on it.

Yes, yeah, perfect, fantastic. Oh, I guess that's crumbs turned Greg, You and your fridge.

I'm gonna get up. I'm gonna okay, how many how many guards have not been injured yet?

Two? Two uninjured? One unconscious.

I'm gonna hoist the fridge off of my back, have it like in front of me, and just rush them and smack them with the fridge.

Okay, fridge to start. Raised your fridge just so everybody knows. Yeah, Crag's fridge is now his weapon. It's no longer an provised weapons. Seventeen hits. I sure you're hitting one of them. Yeah, you run up, slam him with the fridge.

That's a Are you killing him or knock him out?

Can I can I non lethal fridge?

Yeah? I think if you knock him in a certain way.

We'll do that.

Fridge non lethal fridge. Yeah, if you'll let me do that, you'll.

Hold you hold the fridge, open, charge him, shove him in the fridge, close the door.

Yeah, then action surge the other guard to do the same thing.

Wow, okay, go ahead, give me cracks fridge, do the damage. That doesn't finish off the other guard. So then you swing the fridge around and smack him. Wipe this.

This boulder handles this good boulder handles. Well, thanks, Rick, really appreciate it. That's all you, my friend. You're the one swinging it.

Yeah, okay, all right, so the okay, all right, all right. So it is now their turn and they, uh, you've just smashed it with a fridge. He's gonna pull out his guard. It's French fry rifle. Oh and he's gonna aim it at you.

Why me, I don't we just smashed it with a fridge. He's like yeah, like come on. He looks at you and he says, he take you down my comrades. And when the chips are down, okay, is that just there?

Only lives.

That one?

Uh God, I'm fright, frightfully afraid.

Chip on your shoulder, your shoulder.

That one's really good.

You've hassled me. It's time to hassle back. That's a good one too. That's a specific good of potato. A few people in the twitch jacket. All right, bring it on, Okay, well that hits Wait does he is he? Wait? Wait wait wait wait?

Does he not have disadvantage chip?

He's hip five, He's right up against this guy. He just I did just smack him with a bridge.

Yeah, that is a good point. He does have a disadvantage again nineteen health.

Now we're going down to ten.

We're that's his turn. But there is another wounded guard who can't see Sigma but can see crag Indovina. But then also Rick Plan also through a night for him. He is probably gonna go for rick Plan. He aims his gun over at Rick Plan.

And goes where the chips are down.

Damn, this is just the like Glover bites down.

I'm going to write this down one of my I would like to use hip down the chips were down, but I'd like to use a luck point to impose disadvantage on that role.

Can you does luck work that way? Now?

Yep? Attack Keven, spend one look point to impose disadvantage. What I know? I know we have the player's hand the player's handbook to know exactly how we're going to bed except Connor, except.

Guys, it's it's in the post. So yes, I guess thru Ship described to me how thru sheer Luck dismisses because he does roll a ten.

I do literally nothing. I just stand there staring at him, and the bullet goes straight past my shoulder. I'm just kind of hoping it would miss.

All right, it does. Top of the round.

Something is going to happen, now, Oh boy, does an head explode?

No? A flying vehicle appears outside the glass window. Okay, not a spaceship. It's sort of like a flying car. It's like I would say, it's a little bit like a helicopter, but it's not. It doesn't have the big helicopter because it doesn't need it. It's right, it's because it's the future. Okay, no need for ceiling fans in the future they've got so it's just technology. Okay, But it's

Just in Carl is dead. Wow, just like coming to your life ahead of course.

Here you go on.

And that is what's happening, right.

Wow, okay, ship did they get added to the initiative order the journalists.

Are you going to attack them? The journalist on the initiative.

Order added to initiative order.

I stort of liked the idea that the more more turns they have and the more news they're allowed to spin, the worse against for us. The longer this story runs, the worse it is.

Yeah, but they are they are like zooming. You can see the camera zooming into the dead body of Carl Okay outside the window.

Ever longed to just propart that that's crazy, Yeah, that's wild.

Yeah, the news works differently in the future in Eon Veil.

It's worse. Yeah, it's worse. It's very efficient, if nothing else.

I mean, it's just happened like six seconds ago, and they're already like here, sorry, it happened like five days ago.

Uh.

All of the guards dead now, and we're just standing in the room. The big window that's behind the desk, Is that like a clear window or is the kind of logo on it or is it very easy to see through?

Is glass? It is very easy to see through. But I do like the idea that it has a big stained glass logo on it.

Globo bites.

Yeah, I'm going to say it probably does a big stained glass burgle on it? But it's so easy to see see through.

And that kind of horror thing is outside? Yes, yes, yes, How big is the harper thing? And how close is it to the window.

It's pretty close to the window.

Is it big enough to support all of us?

I would say so, yeah, but you would It has a lot of It probably has about four people in it at the moment, so it would be big enough to support all of you guys if those people were not in it anymore.

No, we're not going to push people out of this, So we are the only one alive. Can I tend to there's two guards alive?

There's still ones wounded, one's wounded, and there's two wounded guards.

Okay, are they in kind of combat mode or are they just going to kind of lie there and not attack us back?

They're fighting?

The chips are down, the chips are down. Yeah, just one shot you and one shot Craig. Yeah, okay, oh yeah, good pointill turn to it. Can I shout out of the sigma and say, Sigma, originally your plan was to deal with this combat, which have done very bloody well with, by the way, and then lock down the elevator over from where we came in to make sure nobody can come up. Plans may have changed slightly because of that, and to point at the big kind of horver newscraft outside.

Let's take care of the guards for now, and maybe we can formulate the plan when we're not getting shot at.

That sounds fantastic.

Okay, I'm going to it's my turn now, right, It is true the news thing has come suspiciously fast.

Yes, yeah, I think before I act.

My question is thus, for the news copter, is am I able to tell? Because obviously they're flying in the air behind cars, I'm not gonna be able to hear them. Am I able to tell? If this is like they are live broadcasting?

Oh you can kind of hear them through the glass. They're very loud.

Oh I can, well, yes, but that's not a megaphone. The speakers of the copter anouncing it to everyone.

Did I hear the news reporter announce that this is live.

Yes, live, but I'll carriage to you live.

If this was like something they were just recording and not projecting live, I might have took my chance shooting the fucking camera out of his hand to try and to destroy it broadcast anywhere.

Ah who could have done so?

I'm gonna instead, I'm going to dash out of my my cover towards the last two remaining guards, and I'm going to attempt to strike the guard closest to Crag with my clawe with advantage because I'm surprising him from stealth.

Yes, yes, you come out nineteen nineteen it hits which what do you attack of the crag one?

The one that's next to the crag?

Yeah? Are you killing Yeah? I'm killing him?

Okay, yeah, how are you killing?

This guy?

And I have with everyone I face so far.

I just as I'm dashing like out of cover, Crag's body is mostly covering me as I approach, and I run around him and just.

Slash this guard across the face.

Okay, you rip off his chip helmet and you see his eyes filled with fear as he drops to the ground and he splot us out avenge me, why are the chips are down?

Okay, I'm going to use the last of my movement to cover the distance to the last guard, the one.

That's being wounded by me and and Rick.

And I'm just gonna use my other hand to make a bonus action attack with his off hand claw to finish.

Yeah, go ahead. He's very low and that hits twenty one. Just two damage, just two damage too. Damage is enough because he was damn I took eight already.

So I'm just my my my hand sort of like formed into a blade of its on.

I'll just ram it through his stomach.

Oh god, and he collapses to the ground. I don't even like chips that much.

Oh man, that's rough for that guy.

Now the chips really are down. And let's worry about what to do about this. And I pointed the helicopter and this, and I point towards the elevator.

Yeah.

I was like, if that's broadcasting, lie, then our face is going to be on every TV across this planet. And I don't know any other plants they're going to tune in. Now, I remind you we're all relatively wanted criminals, and that's not good.

BBB. We've got a you've got an incoming transmission from a pocket Come again.

Okay, I don't know what you guys did, but on all of the TV screens and Central Town, there's a dead guy with her head blown off. Oh yeah, that's Caral, Yeah it was it was Carl. But it's it's sort of instigated some sort of gang war. There are people fighting on the streets here. Are you saying that? Right now? The live feed from that camera is focused entirely on the dead body on the floor.

Yes, at the moment, I like I could see you guys as like legs and feet and stuff, But.

I would like to if I can run toward any of the guys that we've killed and see if I can pull one of the helmets off and put it on. Yeah, you can't dress everyone else team grab the helmet, you can't put it on. They cannot notice us now when we leave the building. As long as war wearing helmets, they're not going to notice that we're any different to anyone else.

Cry.

I don't worry. I have an idea. What it's cragsplan. Wow, my turn is not here yet. I'm a wild No, no, no, I'm just gonna try to stealth out of the room. How are you sing stealth?

Sorry, you can't just say.

The camera is not focused on me right now, it's focused on Carls.

I'm going to just try to like, you know.

They Wing's camera is currently not focused on you guys. It's focused on carl. However, however, the cameras in this building have all still seen you.

Oh well, then we're screwed. Then security cameras. That's fine, that's gonna be internal security. They're not gonna want to show what happened because then we will embarrass them by beating their guards. So blood They're going to want to keep this on the down low. Right now, we need to get away from that camera.

Yeah, okay, okay, I'm gonna grab two of the bodies of the guards, probably the two that I killed, I guess, and start dragging their bodies out of the room and into the stairwell.

I think it's probably.

You get to the to the emergency exit door. It does have a big caution sign that says fire emergency exit. You know, do not use firearmed. Yeah, it's a fire. It's one of those fire alarmed doors. Wait, setting off a fire alarm is perfect. It will evacuate the building. And this is not a drill far in the building. This is not a drew. Okay, great idea. So now you guys are in the stairwell with the corpses.

Well, one of the one of the unconscious guards is in the fridge and the other one is still on the floor. If someone could drag that guy into the Yes, you got two unconscious guards and two corpses.

Yeah, I have unconscious card in my fridge. As I run into the stairwell with the kind of French fry helmet on, I want to look back into the room and chat the Nevena's with us as well, Because Navna, are you ready? It kind of.

Goes yes, yes, I'm with you.

Good.

I've got to say you're bloody, terrifying in combat.

Thank you. Should I get a helmet?

Will one fit on you? Any spare helmets around the place that I can yank of one of the guards. That signals I think, yeah, there's four helmets. Then I think the one in my fridge has a helmet. You could have, Yeah, fridge, take a helmet out. Yeah that's what chilled.

Yeah, I'll try and disguise myself as well as one of these guards. Okay, I'm assuming just putting a helmet on wouldn't quite disguised as a god would have to put the full.

Yeah, you put on the list as suit as you can. They are a bit battered, right because they've been sparked and blasted.

It's fine. And as long as from a distance we look like it.

I imagine it's so uncomfortable on the rest of you. But because of my because it's just is it just just square, I fit so perfectly.

Yeah, you could. I just mold directly.

Mold into koy. Yeah, and was honestly just to wear the helmet to get away from the camera. But now we're in the stair well, turn the helmet off much point as long as the camera isn't here, We're all okay, yeah, I don't think I could wear any of that stuff, So I mean it might help.

Us on the way out of the building. You know.

I will keep hold of it just for then, Sigma pocket, do you read me?

Yes?

I do.

Is the news still showing the same dead guy in the same room that it was before.

Well, yeah, they've done a split screen and they have different commentary to people they interview. A Global Bites employee who looks really sad.

And uh oh, and now they're interviewing what looks to be like a Vallinari. Who's who's blaming blaming the ashcar? Well, I'm sorry, it's a lot. There'll be a lot of blame to go around. Can you see what the current status on the ground is, Like you said there was a gang war that's been initiated.

Yeah, lots of It's like a food fight, but deadly.

That'll give us a great amount of cover. Are you with Sassy? Are you safe? I was on my way to Sassy, but they've they've locked down the spaceport. We're not going to be able to get off the planet, right Sigma. We're going to need to find a way to get out of this building. Grab whatever maps we can get back to Sassy and get to safety. Is Crumb still here?

Crumbs?

Crumb, you said you had a car.

I do have a car. Yeah, it's in the it's in the employee to the car park. We could just go all right, car, it will fit all of us. It's decently sized. I think you might have to squeeze a little bit. Crag.

Oh wow, it could fit me. I'm impressed.

And your head.

I just have to take a sunroof down.

Okay, yeah, I'm surprised sticking out the top on your salary. You could afford that. That's pretty cool.

Yeah, it was. J does does to your car and led us through the staff only areas and we'll just dress his guards and follow you and hopefully nobody stops us.

Okay, okay, So he's gonna lead you down the stairs now as the fire alarm is going off, and eventually you guys uh will get to It's a lot of stairs because you guys are quite high up. Yeah, so you might be.

Going off.

So the elevator probably doesn't even work right now. I've lost my own armament movement as well.

That is true. So as you're getting lower into the building, the other people who are going to be in the stairs where they're all focused on going down, and so everyone's like like panicked panicked people staff and you know crumb is is also a member of stuff.

Anyway, I'd like to turn to Crumb quickly and go Crumb before we get to the bottom of this building. Do you know where the star charts or the maps are kept in it?

The Goga Bytes building. Oh, that's all the way back up again.

All right, I need my workout for today. I got my steps in. We can do that, right, we can do this back on the top floor. It's too dangerous. Is it the very top floor where the combat just happened, or is it around there?

It's a it would be the floor right below that. So the second to the top floor where they keep all the charts and and.

Yeah, all right, vena crag a sigma. We need these star charts to be able to find the planet that the tank are originally launched from. This might be our only chance to get them. Now I'm having to go back, but I run out.

We'll go together. Yeah, okay, well okay, now it will look a little bit suspicious. You guys are running up whist everyone's running down as.

We're running up. I would like to shout, fire, marshals, get out of the way. Fire, you know what.

Give me a deception, Give you a deception. It'stnull, gonna be too difficult, but I do need one. Nineteen nineteen is great. So everyone's too focused on their own safety at the moment, and they're running out of the building. You you get buck up and you bust through the door. Of the Navigator's office for the Global Bites Transportation thing, and the rub is relatively ransackled because everybody's just left

Absolutely, investigation is not the best. So at the same time, I'm going to also turn to Cram and be like Crum, if you have any where these charts are, we're against the clock. So right, I don't know what's going to you need, but they'll they'll They're mostly just going to be star charts to our regular routes. I got nothing real here, Okay, so I would like to we are we on one of my luck points to give myself advantage on that role.

Go ahead, go ahead, and go ahead.

I've made one investigation role. I'm going to make a second one.

Now, yeah, yeah, yeah, good luck. Okay, Okay. The thing is this place, and you guys are in a rush as well, so it's not like you have forever to look around this place. There's a lot. As you're going through the everything, you you will find a handful of star charts ones that they might use quite frequently for transportation,

CS one o two? There we go, We will tell you got it.

Yeah, there you go, five oh six and two oh one Russage.

Are there like file boxes or like file cabinets in this room or how where are like these?

Yeah, they'll they'll be in like cabinets and stuff. To be honest. The reason why you can find these ones so easily is these ones are the one like probably the most popular customers of this branch, like X bought. So this is the regional manager of globabytes and from what you can discern, this is where they export a lot of the things that they produce on this planet too. So there will be global byte chains on these planets, which is the only pieces there on these.

Frantically, I'd like to turn to the chaps and go chaps. I don't know if these are the charts we're going to need. I'm gonna be real with you. But it's more information than we had, so I think when we get back to the ship we can definitely collaborate all this together.

I am just gonna grab as like like a file cabinet and just be like, I'm just taking this.

We'll bring it with us. You know, we'll figure it out later. You know, you've got fridge on your back and you're just carrying an entire filing cabinet. Fuck. Yeah, man, all athletics for wait, but like yeah, like I want to just grab it.

I'm going to say you, okay, I'm going to say you have a draw.

Sure, I'll just grab that and carry it.

So you can have one large object or what media object. You could put the draws into the fridge if you want.

Well, there's a body in their rustage. There's no real you have taken the body out.

No, he's kept that in there.

He's unconscious. He's unconscious. We don't need him a sigma. I'm going to challenge you there. I think we might need him for part of my plan later. He's the boss. You're a smart guy, but Rix the man with the plan.

I trust his plans.

He's the one I work for. I've got a plan, and partially it involves having a dead guard and a fridge. He's not dead, he's just it'll work with an unconscious guard as well.

Now I've been running up and down a lot of flights of stairs, so he might be bashing his head against the fridge now.

Now, but like, yeah, okay, okay, all right. So now you guys continue rushing down the yeah, and you reach the bottom of the building. You go out the fire exit, and you know a bunch of Global Bikes employees that already have rushed to their cars and stuff, and Crumbs like, my vehicle's over here. It runs over and you see this luxurious vehicle. It's this pristine almost like golden finish. It's incredible that it's not that one. And you point over.

And it's like this beaten, rusty, old junker of a car big enough to carry all it looks.

It is big. I mean, you will have to stick your head out of the sunroof crack, but the rest of you can kind of squeeze in there, especially in the Veena Navina can squeeze in anyway. So Crumb's gonna get behind the driver's seat. Who's going to be shotgun I'd like to turn to Sigma again. Sigma, you still got that blast perstol. You know, I keep that thing on me.

Oh you're a bloody good shot. So get in the front seat and make sure if anything happens, you lean out the window and get shooting. Yes, sir, anyway.

The right, Okay, So you he's in the car now, and he's just that's the noise that.

Cob might want to get looked at.

The transmission in this thing or something inside it's it's got like a scramble of wires. There's even a little like TV that's currently showing the news now, and you could see it's got there's scenes of violence on the streets like that, and he's studies happen?

Does this always happen?

As he as he starts driving, Sigma will stick his head out the window and like his tonne will be out.

Just for pleasure.

Joy.

He's driving now he's left the fly. He's like, so where are we going? Do we want to drive far away from all of this ship or where?

Well? We got to go meet Pocket. Right, here's the ship. I say, you get us to the spaceport. We need to get back onto sass In formulate a plan from there. You send the spaceports locked down, though, didn't you.

Yeah, well that's what the news said.

That's fine, you know, lockdown.

Broken the sorry would you say?

Do you know of any reason that a lockdown could be broken?

I don't know what's going on man the New States.

Don't you worry. I've got a plan.

Okay, if I may suggest, why don't we go back to Crumb's house. You do live here, yes, yeah.

I have a house.

We could try to lay low.

Why not lay low for a little bit, you know, get away from all this action for maybe just a moment.

Okay, So pick up pocket, go to my house. Rick, Is that the plan?

I'd like to quickly kind of used the hippiece Contact Sassy, Sassy, this is Rick, come.

In, Oh Sasy, Hello, Sas.

What's the status on the spaceport right now? Are you currently locked down?

Oh? I think so.

That's a great information. Thank you, Sassy. You know what, just stay where you are, which I know you can do. You do fly without us.

I want to admit something I wish I was like one of those big vessels, you know, like one of those huge Union of manships or those big vandercore vessels that could do all of the things that you wish a small little vessel like me can do. But I'm just I'm a prison a vessel.

That's absolutely fine, and I appreciate you for what you are and we'll get you the upgrades that you need to do all of those things. But until we do, I will keep asking you to do them, to work out what you can and cannot do. For now, we are not leaving you. We are simply laying low until this lockdown is over. Then we will return. Just know that you are valued as part of this crew.

Well, thank you. I appreciate that. Yes, I mean from around me. From what I could hear from outside the vessel, it seems like they're not letting anybody leave.

It's Pocket with you. No, that's probably for the best.

Yeah, well Pocket, Yeah, Pocket was making his way there, but he couldn't get into the adn't actually get there because they went into lockdown.

Can we raise Pocket on the radio as well before we make our way over to contouse what's going on? Guys, I'll get this currently a lockdown. If you can't get back to Sassy, just lay low. We'll let you know when we needed Oh.

Lay low, okay, so all right, I'll do my best. So he's gonna lay We're going.

On our way to Crumb's house. I assume you know where that is.

No, are you not? Are you going to pick me up? Or you just want me to sag around?

Where are you? Pocket? I'm in the city. There's violence happening. Give me a shriek. Not away from us, Bucket, just layl where you are? Should I go out to the planes or something like? Run?

Pocket?

How much violence is happening around you? Right now?

I can steal a motorbike.

Oh, I was just going to ask you to fire randomly into the air until we can come and find you. But yeah, do that as well.

I could do that. Okay, excuse me? Can I have your motorbike?

No? Too bad?

All right, I got a motorbike.

Well, if he's asking first, you know, that's.

Give me. I'm as good by his coalition maps on it. If you you give me the address, I might be able to put it in.

Crumb, what's your home address? Okay? Right?

He gives you his address to relive.

That information to Pocket and then turns in the vena. See that all went completely exactly as we expected it to do.

I'll meet you there.

Horror, horrified look on the Vina's face as she's listening to all that.

I'd say, this is all going swimmingly so far. Oh this is going great.

You could have just let him fend for himself in the city for a while. I'm sure he'd have been fine.

But I'm sure he'd been fine, but the city probably wouldn't have been.

To himself.

You know, we leave this gang war going for too long, Pocket's probably gonna end up ruling the gangs and.

Warlord Pocket.

Yeah, you give him too much credit now. I think I don't give him enough, honestly. Oh God, well, crumb drivers to your house. Let's lay low and catch up on what we're about to do.

Okay, Crub's riding the cardow all right. At this moment though, there you still have the TV monitor on and occasionally it will play ads, you know, in between the news reports. It'll be like magic Peace you have those, but you know they're very advertising variety of products. But it will go back to the news and it will be like we now have an exclusive interview with Carl Junior, the

But cloud, every cloud has a sugary lining, it seems on this planet.

Wow, I guess that's my new boss. Grub says as he's as he's driving through U as you guys approach his his house. He lives quite far out from town and quite a ramshackle part of the thing. So this is like the the he's part of the crumble planes. You've got the spice or whatever spice this is actually out here. Rolls up. You see his house sort of round, lives in the crumble planes. Yes, yes, he does.

It reminds me of the blasted waste of my homeland.

Right, well, this is my house. You know, I've never invited friends over before. Sorry, that's probably quite fitsumptuous.

We're friends, crumb, Oh yes, we are your friends.

Now, I've never had friends before.

We have been a battle together. We are at least friends.

Okay, well that's you know, I've had a battle with few people. They would not call me friends.

Well, they were not.

The first battle we were in was his fault argue.

The second is as well, most people are. Most people are afraid of my towering intact and by you know, my large verbos vocabulary.

I do find you very intimidating, It's true.

Yeah, well, I'm glad that you guys a welcome to my house.

I'm curious, Daniel, of the what's the what's the architecture of this planet?

Like? What it looked like? Stylistically?

It depends on the region that you're in. So in Gastrovia it was quite futuristic modern right that the houses aren't made of food.

The ginger house.

Is made of food in a lot of these places. But the houses is quite coalition standard, you know, chrome cities, quite utopian esque in that vibe is very future. It's got the technology of the screens and the lights and everything flashing. But his house, being in the planes is quite junkery. It looks almost like a skivet house in a way, but bigger. It's got rusted. You imagine fall out. Mad Max vibes for his building and he opens the door. It's not even locked, it just sort of opens. It's dark,

That's the last place they'll expect to look for us.

Then, yeah, make yourself comfy on company on the floor.

Yeah, I'll just plot myself down.

Just I'm gonna assume we've taken off the chip yeah before we got into the car.

Yeah, with the chip chips.

I'm gonna set my fridge in the corner and then uh open it up with the unconscious guard.

I'm like, so yeah, just like all right, what are we gonna do with I look at his wallet? What was this dude's name?

What was this dude's name? Oh? God, his name? Yes, Chip?

What are we gonna do with Chip? Here? It just goes over Crag's head, like, yeah, this guy's named Chip. Huh, weird.

I can't do. That would be the second deity character I have called Chip, which is weird. That that is Oh gods.

This amount of character. I don't know.

This guy might be sticking with us for the rest of the campaign. You have no idea the fridge.

His name is, but like a.

Ship brigade, this guy named Russet.

Okay, right, yeah, but it will have chips, so it will say chip on his thing will say Chip Russet because Chip is his rank.

Icy.

Okay, it's like soldiers. Oh he's a military man. Yeah, yeah, all right, I gotcha.

Yeah, Spud Russet. That's his full name, Spud Russet. That's such a good name. That's such a good name, Spud spued.

Okay, all right, does anybody have smelling salts?

He's like bleeding out in there almost.

Oh wait is he bleeding? Is he actually bleeding.

A little bit? I mean he's been bashed around in your fridge.

He's doesn't help. Yeah. Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait. There's a new thing. Tactical mind.

Okay, yeah, spend the use of second I just rolled deep ten because crag is tactical.

Yeah, okay, you've got it six seven, Yeah, he said a slowly cud too. Now he's in the fridge, He's like, oh oh oh. When the chips are down, Spud Russet awakes.

All right, more, Buddy's that's really philosophical. I think you and I are going to get along really well.

I'm going to I'm going to turn to Rick Plane at this point and be like, okay, captain, what is this plan of yours that needed this guard Sigma.

I'm going to level with you. My original plan was going to be we attempted to breach the cordon, lockdown, and reach Sassy by invoking a medical emergency, by opening the fridge and showing the guard that we had someone in need of urgent medical care. He was going to be our key to get through the cordon and get to the ship. That doesn't need to happen anymore, but I'm keeping it in my back pocket just in case it does. I think right now the best thing to

Fuck me. Okay, okay. Firstly, firstly, on your medical emergency plan. I think so many people are in a medical emergency right now in the city. Secondly, the guy opens his eyes and goes, you're admitted to it. Huh for killing Carl Senior. He was my favorite boss I've ever had.

And I will do the same thing to you unless you tell me exactly what I want to know right now?

What do you want to know? What do you want?

I'm trying to ask. I'd like to turn to Sigma sigma? What do we want to know?

Ah? How to leave?

That's a good point while we're here, crag, you got any questions you want to answered? Was math discovered or invented? To the list and navena. We've got this guy pretty much talking what do you want to know?

I'm not sure.

There's so many questions, you know.

Have a think about it. Let's go through them. I'd have to turn right you God, yeah, was math discovered or invented?

In my opinion, I don't think math is real?

Okay, my my evaluation of you is changing by the moment. Question, how do we get out of here? And what the hell is going on.

He doesn't know what the news comes are rocked up after he passed stout, so he went, you just leave via the spaceport. What's going on is you blew up Carl's head with your mind and now I've woken up in a fridge. At this point, Crumb goes, I don't. I'm also an employee of Global bites at a person who lives up Gastrovia. I feel I would know just as much as him, if not more, because of my towering intellect.

Why you guys, you guys deal with this. I'm gonna go take a leak real quick. You know what you make it for a good point sigma? Would you be entirely against us knocking this guard out again and putting him back into the fridge for potential future use? And actually just questioning Crumb, I suppose it's you know what it means to the same end. It's not humane, I understand that, but I think it's fun. Can I punch this guard?

Yeah, if you want to. Are you trying to knock him out or kill him?

Yeah? Yeah? To see what happens this this card delay. I did respond to you saying knock out. I didn't I wasn't.

I'm just kidding. Rick said, knock him out. Okay, you knock him out.

He goes, when the putting this guard back in your fridge?

I was finally he's I even don't even know how ashkars just hear rock scope.

Oh god, right, so the guard generally back in the fridge, you know, when we're to be a needlessly cruel here, we're just using him to get off the planet. And then turn to Crumb and be like, all right, Crumb, what's going on, What's what's happening? What's occurring? Crumb, You've seen there's a civil war going on.

And the guys exploded from my analysis of the news and everything that's happening, Carl Celia's head exploded. Well, let's go back. You guys entered, you found out that we have this tualitarian food system, and you guys expressed up quite a lot of dislike about it.

Very true.

Carl's head exploded. And the five culinary warlords, I guess now four have used that as an excuse to go to war with each other. I don't know why. Maybe they feel like maybe they blame each other for the attack each one. Carl Junior was a culinary warlord. Yes, yeah, Carl was what I was going to ask about.

Okay, I thought there was just a corporation in the world that had some warlords and he was one of the war lords.

Well yeah, yeah, so Gastrovie doesn't have a centralized government, which is you know, it's quite a new planet. It was it. It was kind of artificially made. That's why everything's food themed. It's supposed to be a paradise for food. And obviously a lot of businesses moved in to form their own groups.

It's like Milton Keynes, is that, Yeah, that's why the roads it's all blooky and it's shit.

Oh. I was just thinking that this is exactly like the Milton Keynes situation.

We walk with. Oh, this is well, it's so good that we have such a UK theme group.

Now you know what you're talking about right now, we might as well be speaking an alien.

A bunch of the Americans listening thought Sigma just made up a new planet in universe. I didn't realize it was a place it was.

I assumed it was a British thing, so I started a half along. But I'm like, I have no idea.

In your opinion, Which of the four remaining warlords would benefit most from an all out gang war, which of them was actually prepared to fight something like this?

Well, let me go over the four remaining warlords as a as a refresher grill master. The Ashcar.

Oh yeah, that guy, you see.

Him, welcome back for your pista.

I don't know him. Are you assuming all Ashcar know each other?

Well?

You love Like a couple of hours ago you said you were a big fan of his.

I never realized just you know, he was a guy that left the homeland. So I just said, no, I don't like you know him, trying to.

Be I'm not trying to be listend, I've already been already activity already.

Crumb's best friends are Ashcar. Let's just assume that a guy Spork.

He's a skippet. He likes to mix different foods together and see what happens. Sometimes it explodes and sometimes it screens. Then you have grand Ches Sierra, she's a vellunari. She's a vegetarian. Hate six meters murder unless you get the food. Consent first consent. Yeah, And then you've got Kaiser, the

Wait, so none of them have really benefited from this because they're now just in a war.

Well, I don't, I guess, So I don't. I mean, if it's just an excuse, I guess.

And the son of Carld he has been immediately promoted to warlord.

I don't know if it's like anything official, but it is original manager as a hereditary position, Grummar, I'm going to need a breakdown of your bureaucracy within this company, says the points. How many gold stars are on the tag? It's a hereditary position that comes from unofficial war.

Importantly, your you speaking of stars, all of your levels, and you're now all level three in terms of your food level. It did drop down? It dropped, Yeah, you were level four, you know, level three. We haven't eatene anything. Why did it drop? I don't know. Crub looks at his level one.

Fuck oh fuck, so what you can just what can you eat? Then?

Purposely bad food like dirt? No, you know, like control like licorice?

What can awful?

Who?

Or what controls the incredibly powerful force that is creating this food jail?

Well, this is the thing. It's it's sort of a this is the only pact that the five war lords had together. It was the system designed for all five of them to help control their own men. So now that they're at war, I think the the system's gone into automatic mode and it's just assigning variables randomly or just like base perceived. Maybe it's because you killed someone it went down.

Is there a physical machine that's generating the energy required to create this incredible force field across everyone? If we destroyed the machine, can we stop it? Is there a magical spell? How do we remove this? This is such a good question, is real? Yeah?

Yeah, well actually you guys know, so magic existed, the eel veil space, magic void, magic order that does exist. So so Craig you would know, Well maybe actually I don't know. Maybe Craig would know. Just yeah, I've worked a lot of jobs. Ms. Yeah, you literally have been talking to a magical man.

That was just a trippy dream. I didn't say that's magic.

You know, Chrome is going to say they don't tell people of my rank that sort of information. But that is key information that we probably should find out if we want to. What I'm seeing as the issue here is the planet is at lockdown until this war is somehow resolved.

As the war goes on for longer and longer, there's a high chance that whatever this incredible energy field is will actually prevent everyone, including us, from being able to eat anything.

Yeah, that is a big deal, and then we might all starve to death.

Yes, Sigma, I come from a world of corporations that were very gang like, and the times when large corporations would fight with each other, obviously it would affect whole ecosystems, whole communities, so peace was sought after. The only way to achieve that typically was for a third party to initiate some kind of peace talk, to meet eight between the different people fighting. And I think that could be us if we find the way to get an audience with these warlords.

Sigma. I'm going to have to say this to you honestly, and I need you to understand that I don't say this lightly or often. I think that is a terrific plan, Thank you, sir. But I think we can find a way to meet the remaining warlords, bring them all into a neutral location, sit down and talk about the situation that they are making. All of the constituents, so their friends, their families, that loved ones live in Maybe we can leave this planet a tap better than we found it.

Possibly do that? We are we are criminals.

Well, if you want to look at the situation the planet, I'm pretty sure so are all the other warlords. You don't get caught old warlord if you're a nice guy.

The warld sort of a derogatory term we use. They like to refer to themselves by their own terms, like grand chef or grill master or you know.

But yeah, Also, just going by the way that the ashcar would war on my homeland, we didn't do a lot of diplomacy, So I don't know how grill master Rack is, but we're gonna have to talk to him.

Also, most of the warlords they live in their own domains, if that makes sense. They send people out to do things they do. Okay, we would have to find a way to get to.

This, so we're gonna have to split up. I'll take Rack for a different sides.

At this point, Pocket is going to rock up in his motorbike because it's been long enough.

I was just I was just.

Actually be rolled.

I was just about to call you on the intercom. I had a mission for you.

Well, sorry, Pocket is going to slam through the wall of the house and goes my house. This is a house. I thought this was just a bunch of ship put together. Yeah, it kind of is. Pocket gets off the motorbike. You guys like my ride?

Oh we've lost Crag. Sorry Crag. Pocket slips on some kind of ashcar piss outside the house.

Do you guys like my ride?

I just happened.

I did a fair trade. I bought it off somewhat fair and square.

Okay, I'm going to ask you a very honest question. You don't need to lie to us. You held someone up a gunpoint for that, didn't you. That's a fair transaction.

I the what do you.

Want to say? That's what you want to say, But you don't need to lie to us. Pocket. We're here for you.

I was a lion, I said, I bought this off someone fair and square. The currency was death.

You heard you ever heard of a skivet called spok Ah?

No, not really.

Run some kind of culinary enterprise on this planet. Oh yeah, I mean I've seen his face on the billboards whilst I was doing my tourist stuff and taking pictures of the you know, the trifle tower.

Trifle Tower is good.

To address and the Vena's question, it's true. We are just a band of criminals. How could we get an audience with four big warlords on a planet? I think we just need to find one of them, convince them, and then they'll organize the meeting with the other guys.

Pucket, did you see the girl kin? Okay, that's funny.

That is funny, but it's also yeah, okay, okay.

Well we're oh, we're doing the phmacy now, great, that's my expertise. That's good. You're okay. We're going to need you for that then, oh, thank you, so your expertise? Yeah, yeah, come on, Nivvy you know.

Nivvy livy.

Woy is crazy. The rat sorry, he's covered with a thick for you two.

That is the start of a plan, but it's not fully fleshed out yet. Step one, I honestly say, we'll get some rest. I think we're all a little bit tired after this rather harrowing day. So maybe a quick nap, a short rest, or a log one. I mean that the civil war doesn't seem to be going anywhere. Yeah, that's a good point. Are we resting for one hour or eight? That's the question?

Yeah, I guess you can if you want to.

I can't see anyone following us, and the gang war doesn't seem to be stopping. And I mean, the longer we let it go on, these there's going to be to deal with eventually there seems to be, like, honestly, there's ever going to be a time to take a short I say, we got ourselves a long rest and then see what the food situation is looking like in the morning.

Okay, great, sounds good. Crumb says, I would make you guys dinner, but i'd sort of At level two, the only thing I could really eat was like bad like globobites food. But now at level what I can't even eat globobites food. It's just slop.

You might know about the war lords, Do you have any idea where we might find one of them. I think that navenas correct and that we only need to find one.

That's a good.

Sorry, Sigma, I apologize. It was your plan that we only have to find one.

The only thing Lavin that contributed that this conversation was the Gurkin. Just to set the record straight. Oh he looks quite awkward, he goes, I don't I know who would know Carl Junior. He oh, okay, I mean I can call the way. I can call Carl Junior if you want. I mean, he's my boss. I have I have his number, that's accredit.

How about we have a rest first, and then we phone up the man that we wanted as criminals for, you know, blowing up the head of his father.

I second that, Yeah, all right, So okay, he there's not that. There's a mattress on the floor, and that's it for sleeping places here, So you guys will be an uncomfortable sleep.

Oh no, this won't be uncomfortable for me at all. I'm just going to sleep outside in the in the waists.

Like this is nice, Vina to dig a hole and sleep there.

Navina is going to sleep sitting cross legged, and like upright.

Is anybody sleeping in Crumb's bed or are you Sigma, Oh you just take it before.

So you you just said it's just taking his bed.

You just go to and then Crumb sort of looks sadly and he's like, is there space for me? Or are you just gonna.

I mean, I'm the way the way the like in sleep is very much like could up yeah, dog like, So I mean, I am just at the bottom of the bed, colder, Ah, where's Rick sleeping?

I'm going to look around and check that everyone else's relatively comfy first, then find whatever corner of the house is still standing kind of crouched down on the floor, knees up to my chest, arms across that, one hand still resting on the gun that Crumb gave me, and just kind of closing my eyes and trying to fall asleep in the corner. I want to make sure there's no one going to attack me from behind.

Yeah, okay, I guess if you're caught up the bottom of the bed, Crumb's gonna gingerly sort of get to the top of the bed and kind of sleep in that space that you've left him, unless you, like, I don't know, try and bite him.

I will not try and bite him. So someone just said Navena could turn into a waterbed.

You just you just find like some saran wrap or like a ziplock bag and just go into it and then justhere to it.

Yeah, okay, yes you can long wrestle. You get all your stuff back, gang ya. But you know time will have progressed in the world if you do this.

And so that's that's usually what happens when eight hours.

So the morning comes the new Crumb has his little TV that he's taking from his card. He's put it in and it's now like the morning news. The city is on fire, like you know this gag what has got an intense And Crumb is sitting there with a cup of coffee and he tries to drink it. He just spills it all over himself because he's not allowed coffee anymore, and he goes, ah, I forgot. He's like

I'll take some coffee, thank you. Quick out of character question on the Roll twenty, how do I see which spells I have.

If you go to the spell tab. This makes so much sense. This is why he's not the only spell you've cast so far as vicious mockery, because its the only one that's on your not on your it's on your cord sheet. There we go, Spells perfect. This is there, spells and your spells char person, heroism, hideous laughter, healing word, disguise.

We could have been doing so much you could have been doing. Now it's going to be upgraded. All right, now.

I will say it.

I will say Josh that these do not feel like the actions of someone in their mid twenties.

So there we go. You now I know what we're doing. Now we're going to cast a healing word because he hurt himself by scarring his coffee crumb and go crumb, stop it.

My skin is healing. Your voice is magical, sir, fantastic. Okay, Well I was saying, it's gonna have to cut that bit. Oh no, please leave that in on a bridge, just so you know, saying is not a real person, Josh, he is the made up editor. It's me. I I edited it.

Yeah, no, he's really.

Now is going to have to be there I'm gonna let this healing word just be a purely roleplay healing word because he didn't really take that. You don't need this better spouse on.

It, Zane saying's tryal. I met him when we were in London. He was there.

Yeah you're oh wait no that was Briggs. Now, okay, so he goes.

Wow, your magic healed me. Oh what a what a voice you have. It's not magic. It's just you not realizing that didn't actually hurt. That was all you, my friend.

That is crazy. That you're spell casting, is gas lighting people.

He's a bar's a doesn't hurt at all.

That's incredible. I love that. Okay, so he's he's he's fine now, but he's like, I try to drink the coffee, but I'm not allowed it anymore because I'm a level one.

Like those of our cards gone down to can we check three?

They've gone to level three, I said earlier, So you can just sort of eat normal food. Level three is all right. Yeah, it's fine.

You had the plan of meeting meeting one of these warlords.

Yes, but first let's let's have some breakfast. I just want to I just want to read this guy's cupboards and see what he has.

God not much tins of like could are you just saying this because I made you pancakes the other day?

Yeah, I'm still thinking about them.

Okay, Yeah, I guess maybe there's the maybe you might have some eggs, you might have some basic you could pancakes.

Are just the standard breakfast food, you egotist. I like what I just superior you.

I think he has basic supplies, and I think you would be able to whip that up into something like pancakes and pancakes You guys can show.

Like pancakes are craps or something like that. Whatever I can make with his supplies, I'll try and make enough for everyone.

Rick. If you want to see what a spell does, you press a little eye button next to it and it will open up.

Yes, I'm reading through all of those. Now I'm about to get so much more useful in combat. We finally have a part. Hey, it's because you figured this out at level two and not level people and throwing things around the place. I thought we were doing great. Now you could do actual ship. Yeah, oh I love this. This will be so much more powerful.

Do you have cooking?

You might try and burn one of the pancakes so that crumb can actually eat it.

That is so smart and yes you can.

Okay, well I will do that because I know it won't taste good, but it will be norwish.

Yeah, some thing for him?

Okay, yes, all right, So we're like sat on the floor eating these pancakes.

I guess I'll say to break them.

Like a yes. So if we can figure out, you know, I wait the contact and talk to Carl Junior or another one of the war lords, I think we can get them to assemble each other into a meeting.

Yeah, you said you wanted to call Carl in the morning. I have I have his phone number right here.

We're deciding you're phoning the person who's just taken over the position from his dead father in a massive civil war. Is the best idea. There are four other war odds we could contact, but we do have to maybe consider that Carl Junior could be the easiest one to contact.

Well, I don't know how to contact the other. We also have to consider that Carl Junior could be the one responsible for killing his father, since it put them into sung.

Oh yeah, he's such a good sig, He's such a Why would he ever do that because he gains his position. That's exactly why he would do that. Crumb I've seen.

I've seen many such cases. That's against Global boy, that's against Global Bites Policy handbook.

You could do that.

That's illegal.

Do you have a copy of the Global Bites Policy Handbook?

I used to, but I sort of boiled it for food.

Oh, that crumb is very against the policy in the Global Bites handbook. I checked.

You're allowed to eat the handbook? I checked. I made sure of it with tears in my eyes. I read it back to front and memorized the.

Whole thing because I knew it was my last good food I was.

It was a rough week. I wasn't making any money.

I don't take this personally, but what do you do.

I'm a food scientist. I'm the best food scientist the Global Bites have ever had. When we met, I said I was a food scientist. I decied, he's only said what he does.

The thing is crumb. How can you be the best food scientist they have and yet live in abject poverty outside of the city. What are the worst food scientists living in well? To be honest, that.

I kind of get deducted for other things. Other work related incidents are quite awkward. Are out the workplace? People don't Yeah, they don't understand. I don't know. I don't know. I always get wristed up by HR.

And are you telling us that you're being dogged pay because people don't like you?

I never really thought about it like that, but that might be true. Also, they don't understand my genius. Whenever I create some new food advancement, it always ends up like that burger monster, which was impressive.

It was impressive, but then that sort of thing it did hit pretty hard. Hey can you make another one of those? And then who could help us another food monster?

It took it took ages, two weeks of scientifically and you can't get troll it. I mean I could try.

I guess that's true. I thought you could just do it again, except like better this time. But I'm not a biologist. Give me the tools, oh crack. If you give me the tools, I would love to do that. I would love to spend weeks toiling away at making a better vision.

Because I was so close.

No, you're you're a good dude, but you know what, Okay, you know what you gave me an idea though, uh, not not relating to food monsters.

I go over to Sigma.

Actually, hey, you look like you look like you can handle, like you know how to like mechanics, right, like do things.

Yes, that's part of my.

If we're going to go into like a battle or something, maybe we should like trick out Crumb's car out there. I was thinking maybe we could like fix it up. I used to be a mechanic, so you know, yeah kind of you know, if we could like strap some stuff too, you get some guns on that thing. I don't know, like might not be a bad idea we.

Could suddenly try.

Yeah, well, having a compsition a tool. Coved to Navena Novena on this situation because I think I've got the startings of a plan, but I really need your input.

What if crime is is right? What if what if he can make something that is like a like a food monster.

See, that's part of where I'm looking to formulate the plan. Follow me on this. We've got five warlords, one of whom we've effectively just replaced, and four of whom we haven't met yet. They're all involved in this constant civil war, and they're controlling the food supply for the entire planet. Crum here was able to make a bloody food monster and might make him one of the greatest assets that any of those could have. We could effectively negotiate with

Right?

Well, I also thought maybe we could use him as leverage to say we can make them food monsters so that they win the war.

Do we want to play kingmaker with a single warlord or do we want to effectively end the civil war and replace it with some kind of democracy?

Well, I want to go home. Yeah, I mean choosing one warlord and having them take over the planet is another way to release the lockdown. Both things.

Defense of being a war lord fuck, oh my god, there were people would try to kill me every turn. I don't I can't be handled that sort of power responsibility. Oh my gosh, what if you had an army of food monsters loyal to you?

I don't know if I could make them loyal to me. Also, rat has an army of food, not food like monsters meat. I don't know how to describe them. But he genetically engineers animals and they make them fight each other in the woods so that they get stronger and stronger, and then my strongest one he cooks.

That's not the Ashcar way of battle fighting. To make sure who's a fight for you? Well, no, they don't fight. I guess they can fight for him.

Traditionally they fight each other and then the strongest one is the one they eat.

That's not we don't eat or this is not how it is done.

I think Ashcar society is maybe more complicated than just your home.

Where are you from it?

I'm gonna have to have a talk about, Yeah, what's a crag's home planet?

Well, you have it on your on the on the dock. You're from obscurring.

Scarring. Yeah, so you're not even from the capitol. Hey, just because we might do it a little differently out where I live, don't mean that you just eat.

Craig is a proper country like he's on such a country country, Bumpkin, as.

I'm talking about.

We fight like we just run at each other across the acid waste and the blasted waists and all of the waste. But that's like the very country way of living life. I guess you know.

Yeah, I mean he's a He's a Skarnheim Ashkar straight from the capital. At least that's what they say in his.

Fancy pants. Right, team, I think we're going to have to make a choice and approach one of these five remaining warlord. We do have right now a direct line to Carl Jr. Maybe we could have Crumb call him up and see what he says.

Yeah, do you want to? I think that makes the most sense right now. Okay, he's like nervous, his hands shaking as he's holding like the hollow receiver.

Okay, okay, put a hand on his arm, just be like, it's okay, you can do it.

I would like to post my hand on the other arm and in doing so, cast heroism onto him, which will give him immunity to being frightened, and be like, he's really busting about Crumb. Listen to me. You walked into the boardroom with us. You've seen a man's head explode, you have rolled heroically behind a desk, you have survived a firefight, you've ran through a burning city, and you've driven that wreck of a car and all of us to safety. If there's anyone that can make this phone call right now?

It's you.

You're right.

You know what.

I never had anyone talk to me this way. I have never had anyone be so nice to me besides my mother.

Right, I could do this. I cannot be frightened. I cannot be charmed. You all still have temporary hit points while doing this. Cry I feel powerful. Boom boom boom boom.

You see Carl Junior's face come up? All right, Crumb, where have you been? I need you doing science for me right now? There's a war on Wait. He looks around because it's sort of projecting all of your faces now, And hello, who are these video call? Yeah, it's a video call.

My name is. Nice to meet you, Crumb.

You've got new friends.

We are friends. Yes, you guys are the witnesses. Great, you would have seen who did this? Well, we walked in and a guy's head just blew up. Man, I don't know what to tell you. I'm not a doctor yet.

He sort of grits his teeth. He folds his arm angrily. Are you willing to help me?

I think that's what you would love. I think that's what we were talking about. Yeah, listen. I I'm going to be honest. A lot of people in global bites after seeing the camera footage did suspect you guys.

But I'm smarter than that. I know you guys didn't do it. I don't even know. You have no motivation. Who even are you? Guys?

All right, we're just I already told you this.

This looks like I mean, it's it's some must be some magic or technology or something. Who could borrow up someone's head like that. Not you guys. No, you know, pardon no offense, but you guys don't give me the vibe of being that powerful.

It was okay, change, that's a little bit of an insult, but all right, I'll take it. That's crack. No, let's play up to this. Yeah, all right, all right, Carl, great Carl. How would you like to be referred? Oh, Carl Jr? Great Carlo, great Carl with your father. I see, Carl Jr. You are Unfortunately, I'm embarrassed to admit, but you've seen directly through our plan. We really aren't as powerful as we would like everyone to believe. And this

Yes, that's what I'm saying. Listen, I've got information. Are you guys willing to help Carl?

I'll happily walk back into the city, back up to the room and have a chat with you. But would you be able to do something for me first, a little favor. We've got a ship. It's currently parked over in the dark. It's the lockdown has got it there. Would you be able, in your great authority, your great power, to authorize that one ship to be able to lift off, just so we can park it a bit closer to the building.

Would I would love to, but it would require unlocking the entire base. I couldn't just do it for one ship, and then we don't know what would happen. I would listen Rick, Sorry, he doesn't know your name. What's your name? Rick?

Rick?

Listen?

Rick, you seem like a friendly and quite honestly, quite charismatic, handsome, if I may add, a guy.

I'm just a regular pilot making his way through the universe.

Why aren't we all I respect you, just I don't know. There's something about you that God is respect. If you help me take out a you know, kill, take down a warlord or some anything. One warlord is all I'm asking. I will do my best to let your ship free. We just take down who's responsible for this?

Are you telling me we kill the person responsible for your father's death? Yes, we will be able to leave this planet in peace.

That's yes, because I don't want the murderer getting away.

I'd like to turn to Crumb quickly and go Crumb. I understand this is a video call. Is this recording what's going on? Because that is evidence that we may potentially need to have access to later.

Mine's quite Oh, I don't have a recording. Features he might be recording it, though, so you could ask him.

I'd let to use the intercom, Bassie. Can you hear the conversation we're currently having.

I can now you've just turned the intercom on.

Fantastic, Well, the intercom is on, Carl. Carl, could you please repeat the last thing we said, just to confirm for legal reasons. If we find the person responsible for your father's death and kill them, we will be able to leave the planet.

If you find the puzzon responsible for my father's death and kill them, you will be able to leave the planet. Sassy, to get that, I will do my best to try and guarantee that you can leave the planet. Is what I said.

Fantastic, Sassy. Can you please record that conversation in case we need to refer to it later.

Okay, she's going to.

Also unrelated, but have you met Spud?

I don't want anyone to forget about Spudd. He is still here, all right in the fridge. No no, no, he's out unless he slept at the fridge. Unless he Here's the situation.

Whilst the warlords are fighting, they've sent all of their men into Gastrovia, to into Gastropolis Prime, trying to eke out territory from each other and fight each other. But that means that they are relatively unguarded in their own homes. Is most of my global bite Chips soldiers are also in Gastropolis, mostly protecting me and fighting for me. You are maybe a saving grace, unbiased group of people that could go into one of these warlords territories and take

Oh, how does the food prevention machine work? The one that stops people eating food based on their level?

That's classified information for sure.

It's just a man as smart as you must understand and you must want to share a little bit about how it works.

Well, give me a chrismal roll for this one. This is a he feels quite closed off about it. Nineteen good, nineteen good, nineteen.

Yeah, it's really quick, rolling like crazy.

Yeah, yeah, so he's he's gonna.

What he's rolling up around is rolling?

I really took me a second as well, awkwardly shuffles. You're welcome. There is a device that is doing this and it can't be shut down unless each each of the warlords has a has a key.

So if you help me with this, then I'm working over from your father's position. You now have access to that key.

One of the five, but you need all five.

Well, that was just an idea. We don't need to follow up on that threat. Don't you worry about that, Carl.

If you want to, if you want to help me even more take down all the warlords, I don't know how, and you know, unite the planet under Globo bites and five keys.

I'm going to let you know, Carl that we are absolutely definitely going to take down all of the.

Warlords, all four of them, right.

All of the warlords. Carl, That's correct, you heard them. I'm just like nodding in the background.

He's like, it's a good day not to be a warlord, but just the regional manager. To be fair, I do think all of the other warlords are like they think everybody else is a war lord, but they're the grad chef everyone else, but they're the grill master, you know what I mean.

Yeah, they're the ones in charge of everybody else is trying to usurp them or some ship.

I can't Understatenvena's face when Rick has just said we're now going to take down all the after saying oh yeah, we'll just help about and then we're now actually like it's just and she's just looking at him three eyes wide open.

I think.

Navina and Sigma just like side eyeing each other, like, uh.

Yeah, we got it all the war lords. Just like the boss said, Navena, Sigma, you clearly have some feelings and input on this plan.

Well, do we have any clue on which warlord would want to kill your father.

I have thoughts, says Carl Junior, that Kaiser Fellow, the sweet king, he always hated globo bites. He always hated my father. He said savory food was disgusting. He would be my number one target. But then again the vegetarian. But then again grand the grand chef. Sierra she he always thought, she always thought our food was slopping, and meet his murder, so that would be my secondary time. I thought Carl and Rack were quite good friends. But you know what they say, that's it's always the chips

I understand the wild card. I gave a skin of a gun once, great idea, but no idea that's going to play out.

I want to say that pocket is still he's still asleep. He just not work.

Eventually, Carl, we are going to make our way over to you and we are going to work this out together. If you'll be so humble as to work with us, I can work with you, just you have my numbers. Well being in the same room. It's not I I'm sorry you cannot come near me. That's fair. Okay, your location.

At the moment to protect my life. My father was just assassinated.

And we'll give you a call as soon as you know what's going on. How about that.

Yeah, if you need a location to any of these warlords, I know where they are.

It just texts it Crumb and we'll work it out from there. We've got to. If we managed to find a map on pockets bike.

It's a pleasure during business with you, Rick Globo bike numbers not on business yet, and you know I'll throw in some Glogo bytes vultures as well.

Pocket will appreciate that.

Coop bonds, Okay. And then I guess it goes dead.

And I guess I'd let to call the call the team in Navina Rag Sigma. So the planet Baron is definitely under civil war. You've got five warring warlords and you've got this machine that's preventing people eating. Now, I don't particularly care about the warlords, but the machine preventing people eating that just seems inhumane to me. You're right, Boss, sounds like it.

Yeah, I mean I don't disagree, but I think that's slightly above our scope right now.

I mean, can you think I could break it with a fridge? It is? I think we can definitely give it a bloody good go. Yeah.

Look, if we find out the location of this machine and how it works along the way, then you know, fantastic extra bonus. But really, I feel like our focus should be on stopping this war and then letting ourselves escape this planet.

Tegma. We're not going to stop a war by taking out one of the five people, even two or three of the five people. You leave anyone around that wants a level of power like this, and you're leaving all of the citizens effectively under a level of food based fascism. We can't do that.

I don't think we can take out any of them. I think Carl's plan is awful and just serves himself.

Sigma. I've seen you stand up to four guards in a room. I've seen you escape a burning building. I've seen you escape at prison that's meant to be inescapable, and you're still here. Yes, I suppose I am so. I think that if there's going to be anyone who's able to take down an impossible enemy, it might bloody will be you.

Oh, Stigma inside of his mind now is at warm self preservation, his self preservation and the praise he is receiving. So he's like really uh, struggling to figure out which which which he wants to go down.

You have been Uh, you've been deprived of praise for a long time.

Yes, well, Captain, whatever you believe is going to work, I.

Will be with you, Stigma. I've got a plan, but it very much involves you. So I appreciate you being here. Okay, Mavina, I can see you want to be anywhere other than here.

That would be prefarable.

What would your religion say about this?

Still religious?

Yeah, she is still religious.

Well, in times like these, I would I would often ask if there was a great purpose to things, if there was a reason for things happening, And well, maybe maybe we are We are this planet's reason. Maybe you're right, Maybe maybe things can change in maybe we would be the ones to change it.

I don't know how, but it could work.

Navina. I'll be honest with you, if you want to leave this planet and we find a way to lift that lockdown. I won't stop you. You want another ship, I'll help you find one, But then you'll fall asleep wherever you end up. Knowing that there are millions of people here who can't eat a sandwich they make themselves, and that just seems all kinds of unfair.

Yes it does.

But you willing to join us in attempt to take down five big warlords, we can certainly try, Greg. You know, I'll follow you wherever. Boss. I like working for you. I don't like death.

So if we could try to like stop that, I mean, that city is really on fire right now, So like if we could, you know, figure out a way so the people of this planet could eat again. Yeah, that just doesn't sound right. There's not a lot of ashcar out there that make a lot of gourmet food. We mostly just eat rocks, to be honest with you.

But erno you do this then, Craig, Yeah, how about we try and talk to as many of the warlords as we can, gather them together, get them to lift the bloody food log they've got on the planet, and then tell them that if they don't use all of their resources to feed everyone as well as they possibly can. They'll see us again, far sooner than they'd like. I should have taken that diplomacy classic community college. I'll give it a shot.

At this point, Crumb will say, if we gather all five war loads in one place, and then they say no, well then we've got to fight five warlds instead of one.

Don't worry. We have a fridge will be our row. We'll be fine. We got spudd spot.

Maybe you could be working on your on your monster.

Yeah. Great, I have to go off planet for that. That's why I was in the gas station to begin with, because they had all the like I did. I don't have the tool, I don't have anything here. There's a war going on now. I'm not gonna have access. I don't have access to food. I'm a level one in that case.

One of the most important things is probably going to be the location that we choose to meet all five in together. We'd have to choose one that gives us a tactical advantage, and I've got a couple of ideas where we could do that.

We've got to struggle with convince them to come to a neutral location. I feel, but I don't know why. I'm I'm not frightened and all charmed. At this point, Pocket will wake up and go, p so what.

Are we doing?

Where are we headed? We're going to free a planet? Well, sure if I could make a lot of money out of it.

If you want to help me fix up a car with Sigma like that would be Fun's going to battle vehicle?

Wow, yeah, I do that. Crumb is going to Now he gets a text in and it is the list like the coordinates of the locations of all of the warlords like central domains, and Crumb will will look over at the party and I've just got the directions in. So Rick, I mean, it's your choice where we go first. It was at the top of the list, just in it's in alphabetical order.

Fantastic, So it'd be the Candy Castle Kaiser fantastic. Anyone fancy a trip to confectionery Land? Works for me. I like playing candy Land. It's a good game like that.

Okay, we got to take my car or we're going to walk there.

How far away is it?

Ah about it? Days? A couple I pray about days trip on foot, maybe half a few hours in the car.

It's not we're definitely, we're definitely driving. Then, Navena, you're driving.

Yes, of course you are the one who gets motion sick.

That is true. It's only the it's only the jumps, it's only the special joms when we're in the spaceship. That's what I'm like. But Navena, I want to ask you something. What kind of pull Nvina? Aside for a second, Navena, when we were all sleeping last night, I know that we joked about you would be able to adapt your

Oh well, I suppose it does make me better at hiding in places. I mean, I still need to fit in set things. I cannot remove myself. Absolutely, it can't be too small.

But I want to see if we can find a waterproof bag with a lock that can be opened from the inside, maybe some kind of velcrow or pop or zippra, whatever it ends up being, because I think that could be really bloody useful in the future.

She can't, she can't. Her head still stays. Yeah, and also she can't get smaller. Okay, I mean we have a fridge. The fridge. Yeah, the fridge is not turned on, and it is and it is occupied. No, no, no, no, spud is not a spud. If you're going to be part of the crew, you're gonna have to spud.

All right.

I'm seriously training him. I want to take staying in the fridge.

Are you okay? Are you guys drive?

No? No, he's not.

He doesn't live in the fridge. I mean, if he if he wants to spot, do you want to live in the fridge?

Are you okay? You've waken him up? Now he goes, Oh, I'd rather not. I'd rather go home to my wife and child.

Well that's not on the table right now, unfortunately, So you're holding me.

Hostage less about that?

Well, well, wait a minute, does your wife and child live in the Candy Kingdom? No, we're heading to the candy can.

Help.

Yeah, you're gonna have to help us fight through the Candy Kingdom. Next time we get by where your home is? Will drop you?

What is going on? Why are we going?

We've famously been at peace for you.

Well not anymore?

Did you I show him the city. You can't he just walk? But you got it as my wife and children?

Okay, say as a chip as you're a soldier, I'm a soldier.

What come trained to fight? In come you my wife? I mean if you have her number?

Right?

Yeah? Do do do honey, she's not picking up it up? Oh boy.

Of the ressiances in Central City. I sput sput Okay, I'm Sigma.

Slap him. I don't want to slap him. I don't want to hurt him so bad he'll die.

Wait, you know right, you look, we either kill him.

No, no, no, we're not killing him.

Show me.

We're not gonna kill you.

I'm sure your wife is just cheating on you. It's okay, she's not in a war. It open time to do so. It might be the perfect time to do so. You don't know that.

All right, I'm gonna turn. I'm gonna turn to Rick and just be like, all right, you're his boss. Can you tell him to let this guy go? I don't want this liability walking around with us.

Sigma. I completely agree with you, and I have a plan. I'd like to walk over to Spots, nail down and cast charm person. This is great. This is your last spell though, because I you've done like three or.

Had a long rest and then use all his spoks. Pretty much he's going to do for Christmas, save right wisdom, save your wisdom, save eight. So yeah, he's charmed by you.

He goes, Oh, so my wife's dead, and I'm not so upset.

About that anymore.

Listen, I understand this is going to be difficult for you to accept, but I need you to trust me. I trust you good, and because you trust me, I trust him, and I'd aled to place my hand on Crags. It is in your best interests right now, Spud, to do everything that this man tells you to do.

Okay, all right, Spud morning exercises, let's go combat training.

Okay, I don't know how long an now right?

Yeah? Well that's hey, that's perfect for a workout. That's good for a workout, Crag, you have roughly one hour to convince this person to like you, because I'm going to tell you right now, as soon as that spell wears off, he is not going to like me.

Don't worry. I got a plan. Got a plan. Oh hey, I got a plan. Okay, all right, I okay, well I know what I'm gonna do. But we're reaching times, so.

Okay, I know, I know. So you guys get into the car and drive to the Candy Kingdom, because where we'll we'll end it like this. You guys are driving through as the spice plains turned to glittery golden syrupy rivers and the candy forest candy canes growing up. You're getting into territory now of Kais's territory. And at one point you see a man standing in the center of the road and he's not moving out of the way at croubs like rake, there's somebody in the road. Do I just keep.

Going, slow down and pull a song to the side. We don't want to run people down. We don't need to do. You have your hand on your gun just in case. I put on the four.

Ways you slow down. The car stops and I guess a couple of you will get out the car. And he sees a little man. He's wearing a gesture outfit, but he's got gum drop nose. He's a skippet head. He goes, well, this place is off limits to upsided people, so you better turn back or you're gonna face the roof of the Twizzler, and we'll do it to be continued. Crossbite crouched in the corner of the control room, perfectly still,