Welcome to the space versus this podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Dominique Pritchett. And Today I am joined by Dr. Shoddy. I do hello, Dr. Shaddy. Hello, how are you doing? Thank you so much for having me. I am. Well, thank you for being here. Let me introduce Dr. Shoddy. Dr. Uh, do. It's an award winning digital brand strategist, bestselling author, and an international speaker. What they passion for people and a love for helping other succeed in life.
Driven by the desire to support women entrepreneurs and facilitate the creation of generational wealth. Dr. Shaw. Is truly committed to offering a comprehensive range of services, which are oriented towards achieving the three eyes, income impact and influence. Whether working with the company or brand, she will stop at nothing short of ensuring desired outcomes. Welcome again. Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited. Absolutely.
Today we will be chatting about tapping into your brilliance and your brand. I'm excited for this one, because you talk in love language to me. How did you get into brand strategy? What's your backstory. So almost nine years ago, I started my business in a Republic of Kazakhstan. I was traveling the world, living my best life. In my mid to early twenties and I realized that I needed something else.
And then I know people, especially if you're ambitious, they tell you, you know, black women, we are. The most college educated were starting businesses at the fastest rate in the country. We're doing all the things and we're checking off all the lists on the box of life and what we're supposed to do. When I came of age, I graduated from the Morgan state university in Baltimore, Maryland. I went to grad school at university of Pennsylvania. And my whole goal in life is to be an educator.
I just wanted to be a teacher in Irvington, New Jersey originally from, and I just thought I was going to be a social studies teacher. That was my goal. Go to school, come back to the community. And be a teacher at my local school. But when I came of age, I went to, I lived in Philadelphia at the time. There was a hiring freeze for teachers. I had an Ivy league education and I couldn't get a job. So being the resourceful, ambitious black woman can figure out some other ways.
You always got another trick up your sleeve. So there was an opportunity for me to move. 5,000 miles away from everyone I knew and loved. And moved to Kazakhstan. And originally I was like, wow. People don't do that. I'm not going there. Stand what? Ooh. Why and what is going to happen to my hair? Those were all my concerns. And I was like, it's not happening. And I had to identify why was I so afraid to do something that no one around me had really done.
But when I unpacked my family's history, my family travels, my uncle used to be a teacher at a school in Korea. My brother was lived in the middle east for 10 years. So there was already to be a blueprint in my DNA of living in other spaces and places. And I knew that if I didn't do what, especially as a black woman, a young black woman, that other people wouldn't do it. And I became a pioneer. I was the youngest, the black is in the first, one of the first. Group of international educators.
That were brought from America to the Republic of Kazakhstan to help them develop their, their schools. And I made a commitment not to be the last. I remember going into remote villages and be the first person of color black phase that people had ever seen to the point that people aren't touching my skin thinking it's going to fall off like. The black is going to just like peel off. That's definitely not the case. So I knew that I was making a difference.
But at some point, the uncomfortable becomes comfortable. And it was time to take the new leap of faith. And I was just getting a new vision and I had to do more and that the classroom that I was combined and was supposed to be bigger. I'm supposed to be an educator for people from around the world. I'm supposed to be on stages and places, supporting people and letting them know that their dreams and visions about what they desire is possible. I was supposed to be a stump.
A symbol of possibilities, especially for people who look like me. Let me try it and want to do it. I'm in a way. This, I call this a faith walk. I didn't want to be in business. I was happy being an educator. I was happy making oil money. I still would have been a millionaire if I lived overseas. So I would have been happy. Uh, but it's more than happiness is about fulfillment. There's more. And I, and I had to take that leap of faith.
So a month before I resigned from my international job, I started my business online and the whole goal was to just inspire and help and motivate people. And so not realize that that was not going to pay the bills. Yeah, all your money that they paid me was not coming to my bank account anymore. So I had to invest in coaching courses, mentorship so that I could learn how to become a CEO and an entrepreneur. I knew how to be a teacher. I knew how to be an educator.
I know how to inspire people, but I didn't know how to package that and turn it into money. So that began the journey. Nine is years ago. Learning how to turn this stuff that I love and who I naturally am into a business and an enterprise, and actually can pay for my livelihood. Yes. So we are still on that journey, but, um, it's definitely been fun, interesting, stressful, and fulfilling all at the same time.
You hit on so many areas that I, I can imagine those of you that's listening, it's resonating with you. And when you hear things like business and entrepreneurship, Um, we all got it in us because we're all looking for that plan or that lifestyle and plan to get us to the point where we can, as you said, um, Not just be happy, but enjoy it. And so as you talk about tapping into your brilliance and your brand, we're all a personal brand because we all believe we stand for something.
We all want to have a connection and build relationships with people, whether it's in our home, our job or whatever. And so I don't want you all to think, oh, this conversation isn't for me, because I'm not an entrepreneur. We are all a personal brand who want to show up in our best light with joy, not just getting by. Absolutely. I love it. So thank you for sharing your story. As a therapist and speaker myself.
I'm a huge believer in sitting in discomfort so we can kind of figure out what's getting in the way of our desires and our goals. What do you recall needing to do. To get comfortable with the discomfort. What was that process like for you? Usually I have to get quiet first. Because there's when they're at the level of discomfort, there's usually resistance. Like, oh, I don't like this. I don't want to be a part of this. How can I get rid of this uneasiness? And I have to take a step back.
And be quiet. So there's been parts of my life where they're quiet before the storm comes. So it's in the quiet there's preparation. You're learning the skill set that you need to overcome those. This conference and challenges and Hills that we're going to, um, climb. So even a cosmic stand, once it became normal, there was a level of quiet and calm.
Before this next iteration of my life, which was entrepreneurship and working on my PhD because two months after I started my business, I went to a doctorial program and it was constant. And I just had to, sometimes you gotta be quiet first and still. Because you want to make sure you're making the right decisions. And then when I'm quiet and still I'm looking, I'm seeking out counsel wise, counsel. I don't believe we should be making decisions, all decision by ourselves.
We need to get data, you know, we're scientists. What is the, what does the data say? Because I'm not the first person in history to go through this challenge or problem. So how did other people resolve this issue or hurdle? How do they make the decision? So then when I have my data and my information. Um, I'm seeking out experts. Then I come to the decision of what makes the most sense for me. Operating in that inner knowing.
Because I am a true believer, even when I, and I was in a class where I was thinking about this, even before I checked today. I really have been someone who's like, listen, what do you want? You have the power to make decisions? A lot of times we feel like we don't have the power if you're in corporate America and, or even in the classroom as a student. And I was always the advocate for students deciding. Well, what does this look like?
And even though I have an idea of what things may look like, you might have a different perspective, and I want to see what your perspective is, and I want to encourage you and challenge you. To create something different. Yeah. So I've always been an advocate. So I always go back into my inner knowing what is my self saying? Hmm. Where, where do I fit in? What's the alignment. And what's the, and also understanding and taking calculated risks. Like this is a risk. This is the challenge.
But what are some of the possible outcomes and results what's wanting to be the lesson. And then I always think what's the worst thing that could possibly happen. Identify what that worst thing is.
And if it isn't that bad, And it cannot overcome at worst thing if it happens that way, because I'm very get a little, I'm like, okay, what's option ABC and D um, you know, I'm always thinking, and sometimes I have to calm myself down and just be in the knowing and understand that the decisions that I desire to make my, my pathway is my path has ordered. My steps are in alignment with why desire to be. And all I have to do is step into it. And I'm optimistic.
It's going to work out, everything's figure outable, and it's going to work out at the end. And one day we're going to laugh at this whole situation. So. But you got it. You got to go through it, to. It wasn't even that bad or I did. Nothing about that part because that's been coming up. There's been at times my life. I don't like going through. We liked the beginning. Cause it's the house all fun and exciting. And we love the end cause we got the results. Yeah. But that middle part. Sucks.
Let me. 100% clear. I've got an attitude. Like, I'm going to be positive. I'd be like this sucks. What a smile. What a smile. I'm being a positive. But it sucks. And I need to be honest because some of y'all don't want to be honest. Um, but I'm going to be, cause this is a space for sisters, right? So the, the, the middle. I used to not even thinking about the PhD. The middle. Writing that dissertation Shannon and the self-doubt and all. But you need to get through it. You got it.
It's a part of your growth process. So when I have clients that are in the midst, they're in the middle and I think I had, like, one of my books, chapters is like, one of them is like being in the middle. And talking about how uncomfortable and frustrating being in the middle and on the cusp of your greatness is. When everybody else, especially if you're brilliant, you're ambitious, you've done. You've accomplished so much. When the outward side world is saying, you're amazing.
You're phenomenal. And then your lag man. I'm just tapping into an ounce of my brilliance. If you could only see what the full vision is. And your frustration has contributed to you understanding you're only, you're only tapping into one ounce of your potential. But beacon in the middle, there's a lesson. And we can't forget that lesson. aNd if you're in the middle of my sister's in the middle, keep going. So you got that wise counsel. Practice self care sometimes. The problem.
I'm not going to be resolved today. Just take a nap. Well, and the amazing thing about that metal is that is the perfect place to find that harmony. Um, I don't like focusing on the word balance anymore, but it's that harmony because you can go back or you can keep going to see if you can get a little bit more further to where you want to go. It absolutely it, I say another thing is, well, you're in the middle. What can you do every day to have incremental change? Say that one more time.
I have 1% better. So I was, I used this analogy yesterday. Like if you're like, I just want to be healthier. Can you drink a little bit more water today than you did yesterday? Incremental change instead of you did a five minute walk to a 10 minute walk today. Like incremental change. We'll make monumental difference as you go down the line. Well, sometimes it's just about one thing. Can you do better today?
Just one right in that one, doesn't have to be astronomical to a, can be as unique and simplified as I'm going to drink a cup of water, because I know once I get that in my body, I'm gonna be hydrated. My brain is functioning. My skin is. But we have been conditioned to look for the big wins. Therefore that middle is so uncomfortable because we're not seeing big wins. As a speaker and therapists and a person who holds space every day, if we're not counting all wins.
We are going to miss the opportunity for the beaker when we're not going to experience it. It's like, oh, okay. I got it. You know, like, so when I finished my doctorate, I was like 250. Three page dissertation later, and I'm sitting here decide, oh, dang, I'm done. What do I do now? I did celebrate the milestones because I was looking so far ahead that I wasn't present. I wasn't quiet still. And there's a kernel of truth in that is.
There's a time and a place to be still, you know, there's a time you got to keep going. You. Like what, uh, going through a doctorate program, you've got to keep going. Don't pause too long. Cause all, all they go. SAR flooding. But if you do pause, as you just said, be so intentional about your self-care and function in alignment. Even as you are in the middle alignment is still possible without having all the answers or being at the finish line. I love it.
Wow. So Dr. Shoddy has encouraged you to be quiet, be quiet. One of my I'm an acronym person and the literation person. One of my favorite acronyms, I love for myself. Um, and I share with my clients is wait, w a I T why am I talking? We can talk ourselves out of a win. And we can talk ourselves out of that incremental progress because we don't think we can. Stop talking girl. But love. I'm just sitting in that. Wait, why are we talking? Ourselves out of being the best version of ourselves.
Talking to ourselves and to be in the mediocre cell. Ooh. One of my coaches called the little me. Um, I had that conversation. This is, these are reoccurring themes. This is the thing where you pick certain levels. The themes come up and things that you have not conquered. And tapped into will come up when you play a bigger game. And I'm always like, well, there's always this decision, even for me, like I can just be little, me, a little meat looks good. It's for a lot of people.
But in my, I know. And my heart and in my true being, that's not who I'm supposed to be. It's supposed to operate in future me. And the big, big energy meet, whatever we want to call. That Sasha fierce version of ourselves. I'm always going back and forth. It's just so easy to just play small. Especially when you, when you're your average game is bigger than everybody else's around.
You. You know, and that's why this space is like, this is so important because we need to have candid conversations. Everybody's not basic. There are people who aren't castle high achievers and they need spaces. And they need therapy. To extract. These things that we constantly grapple with it. When other people might just dismiss it, like, oh, why can't you be happy with what you already have? Um, and in actuality there's so much more yeah.
And sometimes you just keep permission that to have more and more is available to you. Absolutely. And to piggyback off that is finding your community. If you know, you're an overachiever, why diminish that? Because of people don't get. Yeah, gift it. Ain't for them to get. They can receive and be touched by, but they don't have to fully understand your gift. And that's where you start to hear a lot of those comments. Just be happy. What you got, I mean, don't you got enough?
What does that even mean? I'm not worried about how people are going to perceive me the, when I'm operating in my gift and doing things that bring me joy and giving the world peace. As a black woman, we're often told, well, just do enough. And we'll notice you. That that enough is getting in the way of me reaching my maximum potential for optimal living. You're enough. A Maya enough. Mm. So whoever is in your head, whether it is the hope white man, but let's be transparent and honest.
Let's put it all on a table. It is a term out there. Is it your pastor? Whoever it is. Evaluate, what value are them renting space or actually operating for free in your head? Giving you towards your. Long-term goals. And your optimal living. That would be too much space and energy that I just don't allow to have. And my area. If me. It's a smaller tinier. More critical version of me. That is. Keeping me where I am. Instead of where I desire to DDT.
So for me, like the self-awareness that I have, I. Got inner critic is a version of me. Mm. It's like, why? The person that's really holding me back. My research is on looking at black women and their. Variances. In spaces and how, you know, race, all the isms get to us. The inner critic does not have to be one. It could be multiple. It's so funny that it, I always saw it as me, but I love this. This dialogue. Like I'm self-reflect, I'm like. I'm thinking about stem.
I appreciate not giving people that much energy, but the kernel of truth is there was multiple people. Through our experiences that are renting space that in that space is unresolved stuff. Whether it is coming from society, our intersectionalities. And so I look at there's multiple people in there in a nondiagnostic way. Occupying that space and we don't even realize it. And our little us, our own inner critic is hanging onto those pieces because we haven't resolved them.
It's not all giving people the credit it's about the kernel of truth is that we haven't healed from experiences. We've been exposed to. It's not a big, some people. Okay. Want me to start a victim people. Oh, yeah, they need to. You're right about that piece. And that was a part of my journey because for me, I don't always do, I'm going to be a teacher, got degrees in that. That was cool. Oh, And into entrepreneurship in my head, you have to have an MBA. To be an expert.
You got to go get a degree to say that you're at. So I was extremely insecure. For a large part of my business, because I didn't want to accept this entrepreneurial piece. And that being an educator and having an education background was so was beneficial. Until I had a conversation a couple of months ago with someone whose backgrounds and education and a phenomenal educator and an entrepreneur.
And I was like, it finally hit me that the things that we learned, how we navigate a classroom, It's so valuable. The skills are so transferable to what we're doing today in entrepreneurship. And it took me so long to own that piece and to own. Experiences in my background, I had prepared me for, I was when I was a teenager, I used to work on. Uh, presidential gubernatorial eminence, full campaigns. That was my money. I didn't want to work retail. I used to work political campaigns.
And I had a chance to meet presidents and all this stuff before I could, even before I was even eligible to vote. And I learned a lot about marketing and brand and it was car reputation and image. Before we started using these other words that we use today, and I learned so much, but I had just valued that experience. And so I had to go back having that quiet time and realize like, why do I want to help people with their brands? I'm also interested in this.
I was a kid that made the flyers for the high school events, and that was working on the websites and doing some fake coding. At that time. I was the one making slogans and college for the class Queens and running campaigns, because it was just a part of me. And then this, and in this iteration of my life, it just gave me an opportunity to honor it. And then I'll go back to those critics. Like sometimes the critics can be family members. It can be you, it can be.
Family histories and it could be other people too. For me, it was other women specifically. Sometimes I've been affirmed. By black women, but I've also been hurt by black women. Got it. So. That part and working through that healing space. So like that inner critic, it wasn't, it wasn't, an accredited, who was it? Black and it was black women. And some things that was said to me and I had the nerve to believe it. That was my problem.
I shouldn't have believed it because I should have believed who I was and I allowed it to keep me small for so long. And the part that hurt me the most. And these were people I admired in business. I admired what they were doing. I was champions and cheerleaders for them. I'm being emotional, thinking about it. But there's been healing and restoration. I haven't told this story. Publicly, but. I will. I think this is a space. Uh, when I first started, I was just really excited.
We want a platform. I was chairing my message and I was graded and trolled by somebody I actually admired. And this is a fellow black woman she's super successful. I don't need to say her name. It's not necessary. And it hurt me for so long. And I saw her in person. Again, years later, and I didn't recognize that she lost weight. She looked different and I just saw this black woman coming in. We were, I was at a restaurant. I had just won an award that day. Or a business award.
This is the day I'm winning the business of what I'm literally being celebrated, activated on stages in front of hundreds of people. And my inner critic, the manifestation of it is at lunch. At the other table. And I'm there and I see her. I'm like this woman is so beautiful and I'm looking at she's dark skin. And I was just like, oh my God. It's so beautiful. And I could not stop looking at her. And I was like, oh my goodness. I know this woman. Oh my goodness. This. This is my.
You know, my troll. So I just kept looking at it and I kept looking at it and I kept looking at her. She came to our table to ask the question. She knew who I was. I didn't even know. I didn't realize she knew who I was, but she knew what she was like. She just shot. She knew who I was. And I had a client sitting next to me and she was like, should I, people could realize my energy was changing at the table because I was having a moment. I was a melt down.
And I had to use emotional intelligence to work. Like, am I going to be shoddy from Jersey right now? And possible or. And we're going to act like I am evolved. And then I haven't learned and I've grown and that was, I was going back and forth with, how does that play in this. I was going to run the plate. Yeah. Am I climbing? Was there some colleagues were there and they didn't even know what was going on, but the people sitting next to me, saw a clear shift in my face and my energy.
And I said, I'm processing a moment. And I need to just let it happen. So I ended up coming back, confronted the car. I went to our table and I said, it's been such a long time. She knew who I was. And I was like, do you remember what happened? And I was like, you hurt me. I said, you hurt me. And I allowed that hurt to still be here today, even though this is the day I'm supposed to be celebrating an accomplishment that I've had. And I had to say.
At that moment, even though it's still emotional being in that moment, I said, I forgive you. Um, whether you meant to do it or not. I forgive you. And I am not that person. That I was when you did that to me, because the file was the person I am today. It never would've happened. We would've checked it right at that moment. But because I am who I am today. I can, I can let this go up. Still emotional thinking about it. But I can let this go and I can talk about it. And I can be okay.
And I can wish you well. And what I said to her was. Even though you hurt me, I'm still proud of all the things that you've been able to accomplish since. I'm so proud of you. And we may have hugged or something like that. I think we did. And it was just a moment like, man, how far we've come and how far we still have to go. So I want to encourage anybody who's ever had that experience. Uh, Fill fill it. And I needed it. Most people were like, what had happened. Ain't even know what happened.
I didn't, I didn't make it a big deal. You. I didn't have to. And my client was like just wild watching. The interaction. So you can't have conflict, but you can have healing and redemption in that conflict as well. And you can have peace in it because I'm not losing no more sleep over this. Right. Been there done that. So, uh, wow. That was a powerful moment and it was a reflective moment to think about it. Cause it haunted me for so long. It's to be confronted in real time with that.
Was a challenge. So, um, I hope that helps somebody. I hope that, uh, bless somebody. Thank you so much for sharing that. And I think that merges both of our understanding of that critic and sometimes they're dormant and in my line of work and in the world, we talk about triggers or activators. You don't know. How that may show up for you until you're in that space with that person.
But if we don't attend to the critics internally and externally, as we go throughout our journey, As you said it's possible to have mature conflict. Critical conversations. You can reference the previous episode with me talking about emotional intelligence, but how can I keep myself regulated so that I am giving them the space to be seen and heard as I will want them to do of me. So it is so possible. So thank you for sharing that whole connection of, Hmm. There are other critics in my head.
It's not that we're giving them credit. We're acknowledging that they're real. They're there and it's time to navigate it. It is time to evict some folks. And sometimes it is. Saying, I forgive you. You may not even know the full reason. Mm. And in turn, when we start creating that internal space, that's where we get to show up or start leaning into our brilliant self. We have more energy, more clarity. We're not afraid to be vulnerable as we lean into that authenticity.
I do believe that is when you, what you mean when you say tap into your brilliance in your brand, but we got to make space for that. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Look Dr. Shah. I feel like I could talk to you all a day. Your energy is electric. But we got to wrap up, we got to wrap up. As we get ready to wrap up, please share with our audience, where can they find you on the socials and in the world? And also let us know what you got going on.
So you can connect with me across the internet with an S uh, at, Hey, Dr. Shade on Facebook on Instagram, on Tik TOK. Thank you so much for listening please subscribe download and share got a topic you want us to cover don't hesitate to send us a message We welcome you to subscribe to our email list and connect with us across social media platforms to stay in the know about space for sistas.