It is time to get solar powered. We welcome you back to another episode of the solar powered podcast, episode 69. My name is Ryan Hall from Royal Hearts Coaching, royal hearts coaching.com. Life and relationship coaching for kings. And I think we've got a pretty nice episode for y'all here today. As I had on a few weeks ago, I had on my dear friend Davidson Hang, who was the lead author in the latest collaborative book project that I've been blessed to be a part of.
And that project, that book rather is available on, online on Amazon right now. The ebook is available right now. But as we're recording this, April 12th, as Pete says hi, April 12th is the release date of the paperback. Here in the next day or 2, I should be getting a copy of the proof, to be able to go over before any last minute changes can be finalized.
But what I wanted to do here in this episode I did it for the great pause, but what I wanted to do for this episode is read to y'all a portion of my chapter. Now this chapter, it took a lot out of me to write. I'm not gonna lie to y'all. It really took a lot out of me to write because it deals with who I am as a man today, But it really started in the in the, band room of Eastwood Middle School in Tuscaloosa, Alabama in the spring of 1991.
I'm not gonna read you the whole chapter, but I am gonna read you probably the first the first half of it, maybe. And this is, my my chapter is chapter 7, by the way. But the title of my chapter is The Measure of a Man. And this is out of the new Amazon best selling book, by the way, can't forget that, but the new Amazon best selling book, Redefining Masculinity, Visions for a New Way of Being. So here is my chapter, well a portion of my chapter, chapter 7, entitled The Measure of a Man.
I hope you enjoy. Even though what I'm about to share with you took place 3 decades ago, the events of this particular morning are tattooed on the deepest recesses of my skull. I'll carry these events until the grave. The event took place in the Eastwood Middle School band room in Tuscaloosa, Alabama in the spring of 1991. I was in the 8th grade and had just turned 14 years old. Oftentimes, I feel like I'm emotionally stuck at this age.
This has been the age where my therapist and I have focused most of our time and energy. One morning that April, our band teacher was out of the classroom. Lord only knows what he was doing, but we sure weren't playing any music. While he was gone, we were told to do our homework. A bunch of 13 14 year olds doing homework. Yeah, that all happened. I mean, I did, but then again I had no social life in those days. I was terrified of people. Keep reading and you'll see why.
I had a pretty unusual health scare during the previous summer. Like many kids, I lived most, much of my early childhood years with frequent ear infections and respiratory problems. When I was 5 years old, I had my tonsils and adenoids removed, and I had tubes put on my hairs. Now here's the thing, the summer before I went into 8th grade, my adenoids managed to grow back. Doctors had no idea how or why, but they did. This is something that quite simply isn't supposed to happen.
And in a bit of bizarre irony, the same doctor who performed my surgery when I was 5 did so again when I was 13. I was first alerted that this could be a problem because there were many times that I had a terribly difficult time hearing. My hearing loss wasn't constant, but on the days when things were particularly silent, I was probably hearing at around 20 to 30%. Looking back on this eventful summer, I think my parents believed I was just being an obstinate teenager, but I really wasn't.
For a good portion of that summer, for all intents and purposes, I was deaf. I was ferried to so many different doctors and physical therapists, yet nobody could figure out what was wrong. I even went to a few chiropractor appointments that summer because we thought that could help me hear again. Yeah. Not so much. My adenoids had grown so large, I couldn't hear. This also delayed my voice being able to drop to post pubescent levels as well.
These were just a few of the many reasons why I felt like an outcast that year. Now back to mister h's band room. I was doing some math homework, which was traumatic in and of itself, when 2 of the more notorious goons in the class started snickering behind me. I'd gotten used to kids making fun of me. It became my existence for a while. The snickering escalated into outright laughing. Then I felt a tap on my shoulder.
As I mentioned, my family experienced some pretty significant trauma in the years from when I was 12 to 14. Some pretty nasty estrangements from family members, lots of parental fights, and my dad's escalating drug use were things that germinated during this time. Being the empathic soul I am, I picked up on every bit of that energy. And this was around the time I started to pack on a few extra pounds, pounds that have remained with me ever since, more than 30 years later.
Reacting to the tap on my shoulder, I turned around and faced my tormentors. We've got a question, goon number 1 asked. Yeah. What size bra do you wear, man? The other asked. They both laughed lecherously. This moment left me seeing red. Smoke was coming out of my ears, and I could feel my pulse in my eyes. This is about the only time I've done this, and God willing, the only time I ever will do this. I leaped out of my chair and yelled, what did you say to me?
The bigger goon stood up and got in my face. This goon was well over 6 feet tall in the 8th grade. And seeing my life and the suspension from school flash before my eyes, I thought better of it, and moved to the other side of the room and sat back down. This was the moment when I was taught to hate the body I live in. Now let's flash forward a few years to 1997. I was in college when I found out that my paternal grandmother had passed away from stomach cancer.
Believe it or not, this came as a surprise. My family had been estranged from that side of the family since the time I was around 12 years old. My grandparents were incredibly conservative people. They were certainly from the spare the ride, spoil the child school of parenting. I don't totally understand or remember why and how the estrangement happened, but it did. While I don't remember the details, I sure remember the drama. So much yelling.
Age and Alzheimer's disease mellowed my grandfather in his later years, but even then, I rarely saw him until he died in 2008. I was actually dumbfounded to learn that my grandmother had been battling colon and stomach cancer for a good portion of the time we were estranged from them. That fact alone breaks my heart. The date came for granny's funeral and the 4 of us rode to Montgomery, some 2 hours by car.
After we arrived at their house and after an incredibly awkward reunion with pop, I began to mingle a little bit. As is tradition at southern funerals, friends of the bereaved family bring over food. It's always comfort food like fried chicken, barbecue, and this bizarre fruit salad that has grapes, cherries, and peaches, among other things, which are coated in this mixture of what looks to be mayonnaise and mucus.
I've been to many funerals in my life, and I have never and will never understand that stuff, but I stare at every funeral I've been to. Every single one. As I'm making a plate, I run into this person who swore he knew me when I was a baby. I sure didn't remember him. He may have even used the incredibly annoying colloquialism knee high to a puppy dog that used to drive me crazy.
I do remember the context of how this was brought up, but Cousin What's his name says to me, boy, you don't miss many meals, do you? This has been my story for as long as I can remember. Numerous barbs and jabs about my weight and my body. Some are worse than others, but my entire life, I've been at the end of jokes and insults like this. Even now in my forties, I still get this. Some stranger walked up to me at work, pokes my belly, and asked, when is the baby due?
I mean, it's everywhere, and I think I know why and how they shows up for me. So that was a little bit, well, more than a little bit, of my chapter for redefining masculinity. I have to say, reading those words out loud in this context and on this platform was a little overwhelming at times. It was a little overwhelming at times because these are some pretty painful stories. I mean, think about it.
If you ever ran into a situation where you had somebody who you didn't know insulting you or whatever, it can leave a dent in your soul. But these painful stories, these difficult, painful stories, These are all a part of who I am. These are all a part of who I am. These stories make me who and what I am today. And the thing that I wanted to leave y'all with this, is this. Sharing difficult, painful, hard, scary stories, sharing your story isn't going to kill you.
In fact, sharing these stories, these difficult, gut wrenching stories, in fact, these can save your life. Sharing these stories can absolutely save your life, man. Think of it like this. One of my one of my absolute favorite Allman Brothers band songs is called it's not my cross to bear. And Greg wrote it when I think he was only 19. And to this day, to the end of that band's history, it was one of their signature songs.
But the song is really about somebody dropping his cross, the thing that is weighing him down and running towards freedom. And that's what sharing stories like this, like I share in my chapter. That's what sharing stories means to me and to anybody who shares these stories. Now this book, as I said earlier, this book is going to be available in paperback beginning April 12th. I'm recording this about 3 weeks prior, give or take. Yeah. About 2 yeah. About 2 weeks prior.
There are going to be 2 ways that you can go about getting this book. If you want the Kindle version, it is still up, it is still available. If you want a paperback, you can also go to Amazon and order that paperback as well. But if you want an autograph copy, a personally autographed copy from me. All you need to do is follow the link in the description of this podcast. Go ahead and order it. The cost of the book is $19 plus $5 flat rate shipping in the United States.
You can order it directly from me. I'll send it out to you. It'll be after April 12th because, again, the books aren't available yet. So it'll probably be more towards the the middle to end of April before books will be going out. But I will absolutely keep y'all posted, and I will absolutely keep y'all abreast on what's going on. And I really hope to be able to have many of the men who have written chapters for this book here on the podcast.
Like, one of my favorite chapters in the entire book was written by a man named Mark Hunter, who who is one of the lead he's one of the leading voices in the entire life coaching community, but he was also one of the leading instructors and leaders in the accomplishment coaching training program that I graduated from. We didn't work directly together, but I do know him. My old mentor, Michelle Aiken, and he work very closely together now.
Another author was a man named Alex Terranova, who I also know from that same program, but he's all but Alex has had his, had his story featured in, like, Yahoo Business and, you know, a lot of, he he's gotten a lot of notoriety, and he's also got a pretty phenomenal podcast himself, which you should go check out. But there's a just every chapter that is in this book is rich. It's full. It's powerful, and it's written by rich, full, powerful, and transformed men. This is a really important book.
I truly believe that this is really an important book. And it's like I told Davidson when I interviewed him a few weeks ago. When he approached me and invited me to write it, to write a chapter in this book, I jumped on it with both feet because it's just a no brainer, an absolute no brainer. Redefining masculinity. You definitely need to get this book. Well, that will do it for this episode of the solar powered podcast. Again, I highly encourage you go out, get this book.
It will change your life, but that'll do it for this episode here at the solar powered podcast. For more information about royal hearts coaching, you can find me at royal hearts coaching.com. Got some changes and I've got some new projects that I've got in the it's gonna have, that I've got in the midst. So fingers crossed on that. But find me at royalheartscoaching.com.
You can follow me on the social medias on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at I am at Ryan Hallwrights on all of those platforms. Or if you're old fashioned, you can just shoot me a good old fashioned email [email protected]. But that will do it for this episode here of the solar powered podcast. Until we meet again, this is Ryan Hall saying thank you so much for listening So long for now. I love you all so much. And do me a big favor. Go get solar powered.