It is time to get solar powered. We welcome you back to another episode of the solar powered podcast. My name is Ryan Hall from Royal Hearts Coaching, royal hearts coaching.com, life and relationship coaching for kings. And today I wanted to talk a little bit about peace. Now I know there's a lot of, a lot of happiness in the world right now. A lot of fear, a lot of anxiety, and a lot of worry that a lot of us have. Are we gonna still have a job? Are we gonna be able to feed our families?
Are we gonna be able to stay healthy during, I hate using this phrase, but these unprecedented times. And I kinda feel like I need to zap myself with a cliche with with a cliche buzzer. But, you know and a lot of us and, honestly, a lot of men, I find are finding it difficult to stay grounded, to stay peaceful, and to be able to be their best selves. And, we've got a really cool guest that I'd like to bring on here. His name is Steve Strother.
Steve is a men's coach with Finding Men's Peace, peacefulmen.com. And, he joins us now. Steve, welcome to the solar powered podcast, my friend. Yeah. Yeah. Great to be here. Thanks, Ryan. No. Thank thank you. Thank you. And, before we really get started, of course, I was we really got connected by mutual friend of ours, the the lovely Jen Shull, who was a recent guest on our podcast, somebody we both think very highly of. So, you know, thank you so much for coming on. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely.
It's fun. It's fun to be here. Thanks for inviting me. No. No. I'm excited to excited to have this conversation. And the first question that I always ask my first time guest is who is Steve Strautter? Alright. So, Steve Strautter is, I would say a seeker. I'm always seeking, I guess, is the best way of putting it. So I'm seeking, in in in ways, to help to to help me develop personally, spiritually, etcetera.
So, I I live my life to in order to kind of, seek, that type of information, so to speak, and and and to and to connect to to connect with people, to connect with the divine, etcetera. So I'm always kind of looking for ways that that could happen one way or the other, whether it's with people, whether it's trusting in the divine, etcetera.
And, and so and and I guess over the course of years, they'll explain how I got to where I am right now as a coach for men, just in a quick sentence or 2. I just after many years of realizing that I wasn't happy in certain areas of my life, and that I knew that I wanted to be doing something different, and I started to see that there were a lot of men out there like me, I started questioning, you know, what what is it that I'm looking for?
And then as I started finding some answers, how can I help other men do that too? So Nice. Nice. Yeah. We all have that moment that is the, I guess the the the moment where we're doing the work ourselves and it just opens it up like, okay, this is the kind of support that I can be to the world. So Yeah. I I have it that that was that moment for you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Really, there's several things that kind of added up to that moment for me.
But, yeah, a big one was because, in that search, I did, take, coursework to become a coach. So, you know, I and and so I did have I mean, I so I I've had credentials as a coach for now, 6 years, but there was a gap there between the time I got the credentials and the time that I decided to do this full time. And so, but in in in in that training, of course, you meet a lot of other people who become coaches, and then you just connect get connected to a lot of other coaches through them.
And so on social media, I was connected with a lot of coaches. Most of them were women, and I, you know, I would see them post about these great workshops that they were putting together. And I would read through the post. I'm like, oh my gosh. This is great. I'm gonna sign up. This is awesome. And then I get to the bottom of it, and it would say for women only. You know? And I really this happened a lot. It wasn't just once or twice. It was a lot. And I started getting frustrated about it.
And I'm like, oh, this I mean, god. I mean, I need I really want this, and and men really could could really use that too. You know? And, and so I reached out to one of them. It was a a a good friend and, like, man, that workshop you're doing sounds great. And, I wish I could attend it. And she she said, I know I know, you know, I I know there's a need for this for men. She said, but she's like she said, I just don't feel like I am in the place to help men in this way.
You know, so it's more or less she was saying she wasn't comfortable with with that. She didn't feel like she had she resonated with what men need exactly the way she resonates with what women need as a woman. You know? So and when she explained that, it made sense, and I'm and I'm and I'm like, okay. Well, men need it too, and and she even said that too. I'm not the only one thinking this.
And, that's when that's really when that was when the first inclination came to me that, well, if if I'm having trouble finding this, I'm I'm sure I'm not the only man out there that's looking for this. And I do have the credentials. So maybe it could be me. You know? So, yeah, that would that's where it started. I mean, I've got other stories Sure. As far as other things that that happened that helped kind of solidify. And I'll be asking you about a lot of them too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah.
No. There there's definitely one thing that I have that I have noticed being a man doing this kind of work is that there are that a lot of the, like, a lot of the spiritual teachers, a lot of the, like, the spiritual mentors of, like, like, somebody that I really enjoy his content is Mastin Kipp. I love, like, I loved his, love his books. I love his story, but he's got a primarily female audience, it seems.
Even, you know, even somebody like, you know, like a Deepak Chopra, there's you'll look at an audience of one of his events back when we could have live events Yeah. And it was primarily women. And that seems to be a gap in a lot of the work that we do and I have it that that's some of the work that you're taking on in, in your practice and in what you're putting out there in the world. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. For sure. Yeah. I mean, I I see that too.
Yeah, like, all, you know, the the the the men, that you mentioned there and and and women too, that are are in kind of this this space tend to still, you know, seem to you know, it it just seems that that women in general are, are doing a lot more of this type of work right now, and therefore are are attracted to it. And, and I I that's that is a cultural thing.
I I I definitely don't think there's anything inherent in men that make it so that they don't want to do this type of work, that they don't want personal development, that they don't want to develop spiritually, that they don't want to even even going into emotions that they don't wanna be that they don't want to be comfortable with their emotions. It's just that culturally, the you know, we've we we as men and have been generally been brought up in ways that keep us from doing that.
They keep they keep us from wanting to be vulnerable, and then not being vulnerable, then we're we're we're we end up being, more or less, we we end up being afraid to reach out, you know, afraid to look, afraid to question, that type of thing. Yeah. Yeah. So I know I was there. I mean, I'm I'm 53 now and it and it took I I was just telling someone recently.
I think I was 45 before I really started looking into this, you know, as far as where can I look for for for help, you know, from a personal development standpoint, you know, you know, and and peace? You know what I mean? Peacefulman.com, you know, finding men's peace. Peace is a big a big a big, concept for me. I I believe in the possibility of peace, and and and I believe, also, that it is it is our own individual personal piece that will lead to to the ultimate bigger world piece.
But we have to be looking for it first. You know, we have to be, you know, open to it. And, and that's where it started for me.
I mean, I've always believed that, but, you know, for most of my adult life, I was wrapped up in a career, and and and then therefore also had family and and and and I and I was telling myself that I, you know, this job is what I need to be doing to support my family and regardless of of the fact that it's not leaving any time for me to do and explore, what I really feel like my calling is.
And so, and I think that happens to a lot of us and I'm not and it's not just men, it's men and women, you know, with feeling that we we really are supposed to be, you know, working that big challenging job to make that big paycheck so that we can support our families, etcetera. And I mean, so there is some truth to that, but because, yeah, you know, we we do need money to to get by in this world, but Of course.
But, you know, there there are ways to do it and still be able to do to follow our own call ins and passions at the same time. Yeah. You know, there's a there's a lot to unpack in that statement.
But one thing that really jumps out at me is that so often, I have found, at least in my own journey, that the that the that the men who aren't comfortable to be able to open themselves up, be vulnerable, be, be real, be just be honest and truthful with each other about their emotions, about their feelings, about what's going on in their heads, they turn to different ways of of, of coping through alcohol, through food, through drugs, through
sex, through any number of kind of things that lead a lot of us, and just, you know, just speaking as you know, speaking for men here, but lead a lot of us down really dark, deep holes. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Absolutely. I mean, I'm and and, you know, and and and whether it's any of the things you just mentioned or or or even, if I I like I for me, you know, or what it was for me was work.
I I I just put everything I had into my job rather than face the the the other things that were happening in my life that that were challenges. Like like, a marriage that was that was not working, you know, that type of thing. So, you know, there are a lot of ways to numb and and and, yeah, the the drinking and the drugs and and the sex, all of those can be ways.
And and then there are things that we don't usually think about, like, work being becoming a workaholic and and focusing on all our time on that. And and so those are just, you know, those are some things too. But you're right. You know, that's that is part of it. And I and I think kinda what happens to and this is the the the this is again traditional. This is by no means do I by no means am I saying that only men, face this.
But, you know, traditionally, and not as much today as 50 years ago, 30 years ago, 20 years ago, but traditionally, you know, men men have for many for centuries been considered and thought of themselves probably more than anything as as the provider, you know. And, and while that's not as much the case anymore, it's still it's still where, you know, you know, more often than not, you know, in a family relationship or or just in general, more people in our society still think of men that way.
And it's been so long that would that our society that our society and the society's building up to our society have have been built on that premise that men are the provider, that we tend to either either we think we are or we think we need to be the provider, in a family type relationship, or we feel guilty when we're not.
And, and, first of all, no. I mean, as we're out especially now, I don't think that's really true that the man needs to be or should be necessarily the provider in a in a family relationship. But it's easy for us to get to go there as as as as the default. Well, I might not be doing any of this, but at least I'm out there earning the money. You know? Right. So You might be miserable, but you're bringing home the paycheck. Right. Right. Absolutely. Exactly. Exactly.
Yep. Yep. Well, I know you've mentioned several times during our conversation about, like, your work. What were you doing before you got into this, got into this, ontological coaching work? Sure. Sure. Yeah. I, before coaching, I was a I I was in a sales career, for to a little over 20 years. Yeah. So, both most of that time spent, basically, as a frontline sales a field sales rep, and for the last 4 or 4 or 5 years, in a sales management role. So, yeah, I was traveling a lot.
Yeah. You know, and, of course, there's there's always that sales goal you're pushing for and you're hoping to exceed it, and so there is that. And and all the you know, most of the actual sales work I was doing was done on the road. And, of course, I was spending a lot of my time at home doing all that follow-up, you know, to those sales calls and those kind of things. So yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. And that that kind of work, I I have done myself, and that kind of work can really be a strain on your relationships and on just what really is important at the end of the day. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Absolutely. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Well, let's talk a little bit about a little bit about your website. I was looking at your website before we started recording here, and I think the one one thing that really jumped out at me was your logo.
It's a logo of a couple of koi in the in the, yin yang, symbol. Yeah. And we talked a little bit about this before we recorded here, but tell our listeners just the importance of that to you. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Happy to. And I've done I'm I'm just gonna say this. I've I have done, I don't know, probably close to 10 podcasts in the last 6 months, and you're the first one to ask about that. So, so thanks for that question.
Well well well, like I told you before we recorded, the fish just jumped out at me because I'm a Pisces. Right. Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. True. True. Right. Okay. Yeah. So the logo, the 2 koi and a yin yang symbol. So, in 3 different houses that I have lived in in in my adult life, I have installed water gardens. And I love water gardens because they not only do you put fish in them and it's running water, so you get the you get the sound. So you've got you've got your pet fish.
They're just sort of pet fish. I mean, they're kinda wild, but you feed them and all that. And and you've got the the water flowing down the stream and off over a waterfall. So the peaceful sound, but water gardens bring nature, other nature into your yard. So you get frogs and they lay eggs, you get tadpoles, you have baby toads popping all over your yard. You plant plants around it. And so it becomes as just beautiful, peaceful area.
And, so, when I had them in my yards and and when I was feeling stressed, overwhelmed, frustrated, I would go out and just hang out around the pond, watch the fish, enjoy the nature, enjoy the sounds of the of the waterfall. And it it was a really peaceful place for me. So it was a place for me to kind of ease back from that overwhelm and frustration and and find some peace.
So and that's actually a core piece of what I do when I coach men is is help them work from that place of frustration and overwhelm to a place of more peace and joy. So for that reason, it it makes a lot of sense. And then spirituality has always been, an important thing for me too. And I've explored, you know, various spiritual traditions, and that yin yang symbol, I just like because of the balance that it represents.
And so, I don't have any tattoos, but, I mean, a few years ago before I started my business, I was thinking about, oh, if I do get a tattoo, what would it be? And, after after kind of letting that percolate for a little while, I realized, yeah, what would be cool would be like a a yin yang like a 2 koi and a yin yang symbol. And so, you know, when I was working with a business coach and and brand expert branding expert, when I was building the beginnings of this business, about a year ago.
I told her that story, and she's like, yep. I think we've got your legacy. So yeah. I love it. Yeah. No. What what I'm hearing in a lot of that is just getting grounded is so important. Just so like, I think so many of us, we get wrapped up in the in the, in the hustle and bustle and just in the everyday minutiae of the world of going out, doing a, you know, doing a job, coming home, dealing with family drama, all that stuff that we just that we just don't get grounded.
And that's, I think, where a lot of the, again, just speaking for men here, but I think where a lot of the men get disconnected from the world is because you know, we're just not grounded right now. And I'm hearing a lot of that in what you just shared about your koi ponds. Mhmm. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Yes. That's a good point. And that is something that that that koi ponds always did for me. It was it did.
It'll ground ground me because when I felt that way, I knew I could go out there and and find that peaceful place. And then and it was because it was ground it was helping to ground me that that I did find that peace. And you're right, miss. That's really true. And, what I've found in, you know, in basically preparing some of the workshops that I do and some of the talks that I do, You know, you you you hear the term self care a lot. You know? You hear it a lot.
And I think as men, most of us say, oh, yeah. That's something that, my wife or my girlfriend or the women that I know do. And and we don't really think about it in terms of something that we as men can do too, you know. And it really is and it's just as important for us as men as it is for for women. And and and and and that's what self care does. It helps it helps to ground you and self care is really is gonna be different from one person to another.
It just depends on what resonates most for any each individual. You know, you know, we you know, it could be meditation, it could be yoga, it can be running, and and, and just to name a few. And there's all kinds of different types of of of self care. Like running is a physical form of self care. Yoga is physical. Well, writing, we immediately think of being a a physical form of self core care. It's actually a mental and emotional form of self care too. Yep. Right.
Yep. So I I I can I can speak on that with pretty good authority too? Right. Yeah. Yeah. So, and and yeah. So, so there there there's things like that, and and then there are things, and this is this is key. One of the best things men can do for from a self care perspective is is develop friendship friendships with other men. And and actually to a point where you've got, you know, at least one really good best friend that you that you can talk to about anything. You know?
And, you know, I I'll I'll use myself as an example. When I in my prior marriage, you know, that marriage was not working for several years before we we decided to get a divorce. I do remember that, my wife at the time had other women she was talking with of all things. I had no I was not talking to anybody about it. And and even my best friends as men, I I wasn't talking about things like that. And that wasn't their fault. That was my fault. I was the one not doing it.
But now I'm like, for now I'm, you know, I'm gonna have men that I can talk to because, you know, what I've what I've learned is that is one of the best things men one of the first things really, the probably the most important thing men can do from a self care perspective is have other men in their lives that they can talk to about whatever it is. And that those men are able they're they're the they're the type of friend that you can talk to and they're not gonna try to fix it.
They're just gonna let you talk about it. They might give you some ideas if you want them, but but they're not gonna automatically say, hey, no, you shouldn't do that. You should be doing this. They're gonna let you talk and then offer suggestions later if you ask for them, that type of thing. But and and and they kind of you know, they're the kind of guys you you as Mary, we we talk about these.
We say we use cliches like, you know, you know, that, the the man that's your wingman when you're out, you know, or, or the, or the, the guy that's got your back. You know, it's kind of that concept, but taken even deeper, a lot deeper, actually. You know? So Yeah. Totally. Totally. I mean, having having though having that 1 or 2 really close guy friends, that's that's just such a beautiful point because back, you know, traditionally, I should say, most of my best friends have been women.
Mhmm. Yeah. And, and not simply, you know, romantic relationships that I've struck out on. I mean, most, you know, most of my most of my closest friends have been women, but I've started but I have started to and they're still some of my dearest friends, but I have started to really, get allow myself to get closer with a few of my guy friends, and you just find that your blood pressure is just a lot healthier.
Mental blood pressure, you know, at times is just a lot healthier when you have that one guy that you can call and say, hey. I'm hurting. Can I you got a minute to talk? You wanna, you know, have have a beer with me or whatever? So that's the kind of, you know, that's the kind of relationship I think that just is incredibly important. And just on a quick breaking side note, I had my I had a checkup this morning and my blood pressure was close to perfect, so just throwing that out there.
Right, right, yeah. But yeah, no, they're, you know, relationships are so very important for men, for for anybody, really, but for men if they're searching and seeking that peace that I think we all deserve. Yeah. Absolutely. For sure. Exactly. And then and that's one of the reasons, you know, I you know, I as a coach, I offer 1 on 1 coaching, but I also also offer group coaching in in in various types of groups.
Because I really am I I am putting an effort out there to encourage men to get together in groups of men, you know, and and and talk about things and learn from each other. I mean, so so I I'm not in a men's coaching group as a as a coachee currently, but I am in a coaching group. So so as coaches, we almost always also have our own coaches. Right?
And so, in that coaching group, what I what I've really seen and I've been in other coaching groups before too, But this one in particular, really seems to be so what you know, there's a lot of, what's the word I'm looking for? Like, it's not well, synchronicity is part of it. That's not really the word I'm looking for, but that is part of it. But there's just a lot of and maybe synthesis with, where Synergy maybe? Synergy. Yes. Synergy. That's it. Right. That's it. That's the word.
Because you you in a group, you start to because a lot of times and and this is something with men too. A lot of times, we we men in in our culture today, a lot of times really tend to become, you know, the lone wolf. You know? I'm this man out here all by myself, and I'm I'll take care of it all. You know? Yeah. I'm not gonna reach out. I'm not gonna hang out with other men. I mean, I'm not saying we don't hang out with other men, but we don't again, we don't.
A lot of times, we just don't go very deep with them. You know? Right. You know? Yeah, we go watch a game together and and and have a a couple of beers, which is fine. I'm not I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that. I mean, I do it too. But, but I started getting that or that that call and that urge to go deeper. You know? And that's another thing that led me into coaching for men too is realizing, again, I can't be the only man out there that's really wanting I I love this.
I love to watch a football game or a basketball game and have a couple of beers with the guys, but the conversations were always the same. And and I wanted I wanted them to to to evolve. You know? And, so what I've realized in group what I've seen happen in group coaching is you start to realize that's when you really see it. Again, there are 5 other people on this call with me, and everything that we're going through is is kind of relates.
You know, either there's usually somebody else in the group that's going through almost the exact same thing. And even if even the people who aren't going through the exact same thing, what they're working on will does relate in some way to what you are too. And then you just start you start realizing, hey, I'm not in this alone. You know? We're all in this together. You know? And so, you know, that's pretty awesome too.
And and so I really am working on ways that I can get men together, you know, in all kinds of ways. So there's group coaching, going out on hikes together, you know, things like that. So Going to the koi pond together? That's right. There you go. Yeah. Absolutely. I'm always up for that. No. No doubt. No doubt. Yeah. Just a quick share just a quick personal share for me.
There was a, there is a I I live near Greenwich, Connecticut, and there is a there is a small pond, that's where I wrote most of my second novel. Wow. Nice. There and there this this park bench where I would go day after day after day, and I would, you know, when I wrote my second novel. And there were there were these, there there was this flock of, Canada geese. And geese can be a little bit prickly at times, to say the least.
But but there but I remember I did not go there for, you you know, god, probably several months, and I was in a pretty, like, I was in a pretty bad place. So I just took a, you know, I just took my day off from my day job as my Monday Tuesday. And I think I took a Tuesday, and I rode out to this pond and just sat out there. And I swear there was this one goose, I think, that recognized me. They're like, Ryan, where have you been, man? Where have you been? Oh, right. Right.
Yeah. At least it's kind of the story that I like to tell myself. But but I just think I'll you know, just again, just getting grounded, being able to, you know, being able to connect with what makes us who we are. And just so often we get we miss that, and we get disconnected from that, as we're going through our jobs, as we're going through our careers and families and stuff like that. Yeah. Absolutely. And I love that story. That's great. And I I I think you're right.
I think that Goose did recognize you. Yes. That's pretty awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He prob yeah. He probably did. Who are the types of people that are drawn to work with you? Sure. Yeah. The the types of people that are drawn to work with me are are are are usually men. Yeah. I mean, I'm a coach for men. It doesn't mean I only coach men, but, but yeah. So Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Usually men, who are at a place, in their lives where they realize something isn't isn't working.
Like, they more and and, basically, the the that maybe they've it could be that they're they're bumping up against the same thing over and over and over again, and and they were just realized that's a sign that it's it's time to make a change of some sort. And they generally either don't know what that change is or they kind of have an idea, but they're don't they're hesitant to do it. You know? So there's usually some frustration or overwhelm involved there.
And so they are and, yeah, and and in general, I'm gonna take it a little bit of a step further in general because, you know, really really coaching isn't know, we're not at a point where most people, you know, autumn, you know, think about working with coaches, or or well, I should we're not at a point where most people have worked with a coach before.
So a lot of the men that work with me are men who haven't worked for with a coach before, but they've maybe been reading some personal development books. And I realized that's getting them to a point, but they aren't getting all the way there. And so that's where I come in as a coach to help to help out with that. So yeah. So that that so more or less what I like to say is men that are maybe in a place of overwhelm or frustration, looking to move into more of a place of joy, and peace.
And and doing that, you know, generally to move into a place of joy and peace, you you're you're following some calling or some passion that's been there. Sometimes you're not even you don't realize that's what it is, but, you know, once we get into it, you start to realize it. So, you know, we we can uncover a lot of things there. So it's either that or, I mean, so the other piece would be, men who, who actually do know. You know?
I that that they and maybe they're not so maybe they're not feeling that overwhelmed, but they realize it's time to make that move, but they also realize they need, someone to help them, in in making that move. So, that's what I'm here to do as well. So Got it. Got it. Yeah. There's yeah. There there's always the those two levels.
Like, the guy that think they know like, thinks they knows what they want but not there and the person who knows that they want something and don't really know how to get it. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. I'm I mean, and it kinda reminds me of, like, one of the, like, one of the one of my passions is helping men find their voice in the world.
Yeah. Nice. And and finding that, I get like, finding that happiness because so many people, I think, put dreams in mothballs as they go through their career, as they go through their, you know, go through their life. Like, they might have played the guitar as a younger man, but they haven't picked it up in years. And Yes. You know? You know? Yeah. It's it's stuff like that. And just helping men find that what find that voice, but also find that passion for living again. Oh, right. Absolutely.
Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. And that's a great example on the guitar. Like, someone who played the guitar when they were younger and and what and just hasn't picked it up in forever. Yeah. And that that's that's one of the things I talk about when I talk to men about self care. And, because that if if you're like, I don't know what to do for self care. Or a good clue is think back to the things you used to do that you used to love and you just haven't done them in a while.
The that's self care, playing the guitar for someone like that, that is self care. You know? So, you know, for me, it was I mean, I'm thinking back when I was 10 or 12 years old. I used to go out into the woods because we always lived in neighborhoods that were surrounded by fields and woods. I used to go out and hang out hang out in the woods all the time. And, I just realized, hey, I can't I mean, I can't.
Not I can't go out and just hang out on the woods randomly like I used to, but I can go to a a nature preserve nearby and go for walks on the trails, you know. And, so yeah. Yeah. There's again, great, you know, great things that we can do, you know, from a self care perspective. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, self care isn't necessarily having a girl's night Right. At the, at the nail salon or whatever.
Self care can be self care can be picking up the guitar again, going for a hike, going to play 18 with your friends. I mean Yeah. That self care can be anything Mhmm. That gets you connected with, dare I say, their your inner child. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. For sure. And and I like what you mentioned too about men find you're helping men find their voice and and how connecting their passions to helping them find their voice.
Because really, I mean, you know, I I I I'm I'm gonna make a big statement here, but but for the most part, men are not connected to their emotions. You know? Yeah. And and it I think it's really easy to see that when you're looking at emotions like, sadness and fear, grief, etcetera, and anger even because, you know, we can express anger, but then we feel because all our other emotions were pent up when we do express anger.
A lot of times, it comes out as rage and and and then we feel guilty about it because we scare the heck out of somebody with it. But but even happiness, you know, I mean, really, I think in in in our world now, and this isn't actually just true of men, but I think it's Mhmm. It's more of an issue with men. We even have trouble expressing our own joy. And, we and we feel guilty in a lot of cases when we feel joy. Like, how can I be feeling joy when we're in the middle of this pandemic?
Or how can I be feeling joy when, this person's mad at me or whatever? But but, yeah, actually, we can. And and it's perfectly fine. It's it's fine. You can feel more than one emotion, at the same time, first of all.
But that, you know, if you're going to, if if if you're gonna help people, if you're gonna have those good relationships in your family, if you're gonna have those good, working relationships at work with your working work colleagues, if you're gonna have good friends, if you're gonna if your goal is to help the world, you know, in some way, you know, help the world, not just yourself learn, grow, and evolve, but the world learn, grow, and evolve too.
That joy that you can bring to the world is one of the biggest things you can do. You know? And so but as but in our society, you know, we tend to get bogged down in in the challenges and and thinking of the challenges just as things that are tough when actually a lot of those challenges are what we can grow the most from. So there's actually joy in that when you think about that.
When you're when you're faced with a challenge, and I'm talking about even things like, you know, that divorce I went through a couple of years ago, it wasn't easy for me to look at it that way. And I probably wasn't exactly looking at it back that that way then because that was 2 years ago, and I've I've connected to my emotions a lot better since then. But but I learned a whole lot from that, you know, and and and there is there is joy in that.
I mean, in fact, in that that that that that I there's that I learned from it. And or when you're in the middle of it, you can look at the joyful side of there's something to learn here. And when you start looking at at that, when you start looking at things in life that are challenging as the learning opportunities that they are, they suddenly don't feel as as tough, you know, because you realize they're they're still tough, but you realize there's something on the other side of it.
And as soon as you start thinking about it from that perspective, you start moving toward that. You start moving toward what it is you're you're here to learn from it. So so I'm glad you brought that passion piece because it reminded me of the whole thing with joy too. So Yeah. Yeah. Joy When we when we lose our joy, we lose our we lose our self, capital s. I mean, it's just it's you know, it really is crucial. It it really is crucial.
I mean, love them or hate them, but watching Tom Brady play football last night, there's still a lot of joy in that man. Mhmm. Yeah. Granted he you know, granted he's married to a Brazilian supermodel, and he's making, you know, a $1,000,000,000, but there's still a lot of joy watching that man play football. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. He's yeah. I mean, all all all other things aside, you can see that playing football is joyful for him, you know, and brings him joy.
And because it's because of that, he he puts a whole lot more into it than someone else who might especially someone who's been at it for as long as he has. Because I don't I don't remember how old he is, but I know he's over 40 now. Yeah. Not too many not too many football yeah. Yeah. Not too many football players are still playing in the NFL at that age. And probably one of the reasons he is is that joy that he still gets from playing. You know?
Yeah. To be able to to that that joy to be willing to put in the extra work, put in the, you know, put in the physical training and the physical therapy because he's 43 years old. He and I are very close to the same age. Yeah. And to be able to to be able to put your body through that for, what, 20 years now, I think Yeah. Yeah. Is, you know, pretty much unheard of. Yeah. It is. Yeah. We we are just about out of time here, but I did wanna ask you one more question.
When if there's a bit of, if if there's a bit of wisdom that you'd like to leave with our audience, especially maybe the men listening to us here today, for somebody who there's, you know, there's something missing in their lives, there's, you know, there's, you know, distance between them and their, you know, and their spouse or their partner, They have no enjoyment of their job and their career anymore. They're just going through the motions, living the same day, day after day after day.
What is one bit of wisdom that you can leave with somebody who might be living that kind of life? Yeah. Absolutely. Cool. So I would say, and and, it the number one thing is, don't be afraid to be vulnerable. You know? So, you know, whatever the scenario is, the number one thing you can do to to start moving toward, the the light at whatever that whatever. If you feel like you're you're in a tunnel, is there a light at the end of the tunnel? Yes. There is.
And and one of the the the key way to start getting there is to be vulnerable and start talking to people. Whether it is like, if if it's, you know, if it's, in a in a romantic relationship, you know, you know, obviously, you're you're gonna wanna talk to that person and that they are in the relationship with, and don't be afraid to be vulnerable. Like, let them know what's on what's bothering you. They're probably gonna let you know what's bothering them too. And and so, it works both ways.
But don't be afraid to be vulnerable outside of that. So, like, for me, and as as an example, I could have been vulnerable, not only in talking with, my wife at the time, but also in letting letting my friends at least know where I was, you know, so that yeah. And and and and and then talking about it with them a little bit, that would have helped a lot. So that's part of it. Another piece is curiosity.
I mean, because it it all depends on the scenario, but being curious about what what it is that you you can learn from whatever the scenario is. Being curious about what the options are being and and and being curious about how they might come to you because you don't always have to actually go out and do a lot of research to find, that next step. Sometimes it's something that will just come up for you, especially once you start being curious about it.
So it's vulnerable and vulnerability and curiosity and and ultimately, you know, both of those lead to finding the joy in it too. Whether it feels like there could possibly be any joy in it at the moment, there there can be. And that's what starts the process of getting it there is that vulnerability and and curiosity. I love it. I love it. Steve, this has been a really enlightening conversation for me.
Thank you so much for your vulnerability and, and, you know, bringing, bringing yourself to this conversation, and I'd love to do it again. Yeah. Me too. Absolutely. This is a lot of fun. Thanks for for inviting me. Yeah. It's been great. It's been I've enjoyed it. Yeah. My pleasure. How can people find you? Yes. They can find me, via my website at peacefulmen.com. And as you mentioned, the name of my business is Finding Men's Peace. But, I always mention this.
If you actually search finding men's peace.com, it'll get you there too. We just decided to go with the shorter URL. So peace woman.com is the best way. You can reach me. I'm avail I'm I'm I'm pretty active on both Instagram and Facebook, but you can reach me on both of those through my website as well. It's probably the easiest way of telling you how to get there. So Beautiful. Steve Strider, thank you so much, my friend. Absolutely. Thank you, Ryan. It's been great. My my pleasure.
And that'll do it for this episode of the solar powered podcast, a presentation of Royal Hearts Coaching. For more information about me and Royal Hearts Coaching, just go to royalheartscoaching.com. You can follow me on social media at ryanhallwrites on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, Or you can shoot me a good old fashioned email at Ryan at royal hearts coaching dot com But that'll do it for this episode until we meet again.
This is Ryan Hall saying thank you so much for listening I love you all and go get solar powered