Episode 43: Reflections On A Journey To Self-Love - podcast episode cover

Episode 43: Reflections On A Journey To Self-Love

Oct 19, 202034 min
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Episode description

In this introspective episode of Soul-R Powered, Ryan Hall takes us on a personal journey of self-discovery and growth. He begins by sharing details about his latest writing project, setting the stage for a deeper exploration of self-love. Reflecting on his past, Ryan discusses the lessons he's learned about embracing and loving oneself. He delves into the importance of cultivating personal interests and holistic self-care practices, emphasizing proper breathing techniques and the value of trusting others. Ryan also addresses overcoming self-judgment, offering insights on how to fully embrace self-love. The episode concludes with his goals for the podcast's growth and ways to stay connected.

Transcript

It is time to get solar powered. We welcome you to the solar powered podcast. I'm Ryan Hall from Royal Hearts Coaching, royal hearts coaching.com, life and relationship coaching for Kings. Now in this episode, I'm gonna let y'all in on little secret about something I've been working on, something that I'm in the very early planning stages of working on, but something that I'm insanely excited about, something that I am insanely excited about. It's going to be a solo episode.

So just letting y'all know. But here's what, here's what's going on now. I mean, I always introduce myself at this podcast says life and relationship coaching for Kings. I mean, I love being a coach. I am damn good at being a coach. I wish my business was better or existent at this point, but but these things take time, and I am building relationships and me, you know, the the whole 9, and more like the whole 12 at this point.

But, I'm building, like I'm really building my brand and building myself, but as good of a coach as I am, I'm an even better writer, and that is my first passion, and always has been my first passion. I mean, contrary to popular belief, the Crimson Tide of the University of Alabama was not my first passion probably my greatest passion no, no, it's still not my greatest passion. My greatest passion is language.

Language and stories and sharing stories and telling stories and just really embodying that writer, that that that that writer's creed, that writer's that writer's write. And I'm working on a really big project. A really scary project, but a really big project, and that project is this. I am writing my memoirs. Now, my first indication my first inclination rather, is that what have I done in my life that is so important that I need to write a book about it?

I mean, important people write memoirs, presidents, astronauts, athletes. I mean, people who, you know, famous people, people who have done big things, write memoirs. Well, where does that leave me? Well, I'll tell you exactly where that leaves me. That leaves me in doing, you know, you know, am am I famous as Barack Obama? Hell no. But I have done big things with my life. I have an important story that needs and demands to be shared with the world. It's true.

I have an important story that really demands to be shared with the world. So that's exactly what I'm gonna be doing is sharing my story. And hopefully, people can gain some wisdom, some insights, some inspiration from my story, from my failings, from my triumphs, from my wins, from my losses in learning how to live your best and most powerful life. Because that's all I'm about is just living my best and most powerful life and sharing that story with the world.

And part of living my best and most powerful life is listening to my dog snoring loudly in my podcast. Hey, Pete. Oh, boy. But what I wanted to do with this episode today is reflect a little bit of a lesson that I have learned here in the early going of my, of the, of the creation of my memoir. But I wanna take you guys back to, to a simpler time and a simpler place and a time and a place that I never wanna go back to.

And that time and that place was a well, it was a time and a place where I lived my life completely, completely terrified of everything. I was terrified of adults. I was terrified of my fellow kids. I was terrified of my own family at times. I was just completely scared shitless. I really was. I was completely scared all the time. And this really helped me to develop some really not so good character traits. Some character traits like, well, like hating myself and my very existence.

It's not good. It's not good. Y'all it's not good, But I've been doing a lot of work on this lately. I've been doing a lot of work on really letting go of my past, letting go of what was of what was, embracing what is, and really learning to live my life powerfully with love, compassion, and with respect of the man in the mirror. I've really started to learn. I've really, you know, start learning to love myself. And to that end, I wanna share a few lessons that I have learned in my journey.

Now, understand this, that when you hated your when when you when you hated yourself as much as I hated myself, takes a lot of healing. It takes a lot of takes a lot of work. It takes a lot of sacrifice, but definitely understand this. Understand that it is about as it is about as important a work as you will ever do. It's about as important a work as you will ever do.

So I wanna share with you a few lessons that I have learned that that has helped me in learning how to choose learning to choose, rather, learning to choose myself and my self love and my self self respect. So and overall, I believe well, I get into those lessons, I think overall the lesson for me has been just to reconnect with my essence, with my truth, and with my truth as what beats inside my chest.

So I wanna share with you 6 simple life lessons that I have learned that has really helped me in learning how to love myself. And understand, this is a process. This is a process that I'm still undertaking, that I'm still, well, in process with. And at first, the first lesson is cultivate yourself. Now what I mean by that is really learning what turns you on and fertilizing that and growing that and really learning to love that. I love music.

I have grown closer with music over the past several years. Well, granted, part of it was because I wrote a novel about a musician, but I have, I have grown just closer and closer with music, really learning, really expanding my taste, really expanding my field of vision as far as my musical tastes go. And I've never been happier.

I've never been more, you know, more more, you know, more comfortable with throwing out a pair of headphones and putting on some, you know, just some blistering guitar work, from, you know, from, Derek Trucks or an Eric Clapton, or or just really getting down with the get down with some, you know, with some old James Brown or Tower of Power or something like that.

I've really expanded that part of myself, and I've never been happier, and I've never been more at ease with just really letting go in that area. The second lesson I've learned is I love myself a lot more when I take care of myself. And I'm not just necessarily speaking of physical exercise here. I'm talking about holistically here. I'm talking about mind. What's going into my mind. Am I, you know, am I spending needless hours and hours and hours on social media?

Am I, am I, watching the news constantly and getting depressed and getting pissed off with what's going on with the world? Or am I blocking that well, I'm not necessarily blocking that stuff out, but what I'm doing is that I'm using the news. I'm using, I'm using social media. I'm using these things in a light healthier manner to share myself deep more deeply and more completely and letting myself be seen more and more.

But I'm also talking about falling in love with, falling in love with running, with physical exercise. But I mean, as I've spoken about on this podcast before, I hated running with a passion just with just with a nuclear passion when I was a kid And I have been off the trails. I have been off the streets, for about a month now because of some, what causes some physical pain that has been brought upon, by some, by some shoes that just didn't really do the job anymore.

And the day that I'm recording this, I'm gonna pick up some brand new running shoes, some brand new, Sketchers running shoes. And you better believe that I'm gonna lace those suckers up first thing in the morning and I'm hitting it. I'm hitting it hard and it's gonna feel really good. Let me tell you, it's gonna be feel really good. So it's a holistic thing, not just what goes into your mind.

What goes in it, but what I mean holistically, I mean, it's, what goes into your mind, what goes into your heart, what goes into your body, and spiritually, just what what you are completely and holy. Now here's a lesson, a very important lesson that I have learned, and, really one of the reasons why I started this podcast. 1 of the one of the real lessons that I have learned in my own self love journey is to be alone without being lonely. Now as a child, I was just terribly, tragically lonely.

I had no friends to speak of. I had no I had no real passion. I spent all my time in my room with my door closed, watching TV, playing video games, and thinking that I was safe, but I wasn't. I was learning some really dangerous skills, some really dangerous like, my state of mind was just not in a good place. I love people. I mean, I've learned that I really love people, and I really get a lot of juice out of being with people, talking to people, really interacting with people.

But, but being alone really helps to recharge me. Really helps to, yeah, it really helps to recharge me, but there's a big difference between being alone and being lonely. And I know I'm never alone. I know I'll never truly walk alone. Read into that, which you will. Watch how you're breathing. I mean, note to self from that one, but watch how you're breathing.

1 of the things, you know, one of the ways that I really get in trouble is one of the ways that I really get in trouble is that is that I, my when I start getting triggered, when I start getting anxious, my breathing is probably from my shoulders up. Now understand this. My lungs are below my shoulders, and your lungs are below your shoulders unless well, let's not even go there. But when you're not breathing from your soul, from your spirit, from, dare I say, your root chakra, yeah, said it.

You're not going to be nearly as comfortable with yourself, comfortable in your own skin, comfortable in your own being, unless you do breathe with your entire body. Like, I'll give you a great example. Yesterday at work, I started feeling very anxious. And one of the things that one of the things that happens to me when I start feeling anxious is that from my neck up, or really from my shoulders up, I start tingling.

And it means to me that my, that my brain just isn't really getting the oxygen that it needs to really not to survive, but to thrive. And that's something that I have to watch on a constant daily basis. Now understand when I'm at work, I have to wear a mask and it's, you know, sometimes sometimes I do feel a little anxiety with something over my face like that, but when I but when I allow myself hey. I don't have to breathe from my nose all the time. I can breathe deeply with my mouth.

I can be a mouth breather. But when I breathe deeply with my entire body, just everything relaxes. Like, I use an I use a I use this, example, this analogy a lot is that when when the head of a drum is too tight, it chokes off the natural sound of the drum. Or when a guitar string is too tight, It chokes off the natural sound of the instrument. And you're going to end up either breaking the head or breaking that string. And you don't want that. You don't want that.

I mean, there's a famous video from, from I wanna say it was 1985 From I think it was the Live Aid concert. BB King, the icon that he was. He breaks a string during a solo, and he's, he sings the rest of the song, but he spends most of the song changing the string on his guitar. Stevie Ray Vaughan, a great example. There's a famous video of him breaking the string during the middle of the solo, but what happened was he kept looking off stage to one of his roadies after he broke that string.

And his, and he when he made eye contact with that roadie, that roadie was like, okay. I gotta make sure that I get him another guitar. So during, during a singing break, when Stevie wasn't playing during the song, the roadie comes out, straps the guitar around his neck, plugs it in, and Stevie plays the next lick after he sings the next verse. That also speaks to another lesson that I've learned is that you've got to trust the people around you.

I mean, if Stevie didn't have, didn't have that roadie that he could trust, to be able to be there with that guitar, gotta be, you know, gotta be, you know, gotta be tuned up, because you can't exactly stop the song and tune up. You know what I mean? But it also just, you know, speaks to trust. So you gotta just let go. Drop that drum head. Drop that, you know, drop that string, and just don't be so damn tense. Here's a big lesson for me. Moving on to the next one.

Here is a just probably the biggest lesson that I've taken away from this whole journey that I've been doing in therapy. You know, some of my, some of my spiritual work is watch how you're speaking to yourself. Watch how you're speaking to yourself. My inner voice is a giant raging asshole. He is. He is a giant asshole. He's a dick. He's evil. He can be.

But when I watch what I'm saying to myself, when I mess up, when I, you know, when I embarrass myself, when I watch that voice, when I keep that judgment down, everything else falls into place. Like one thing I've really started doing lately is watching how my inner dialogue judges other people. And I usually do this at work because there's a, you know, there's a lot of time during what when I'm at work during my particular, during my particular job is that I have a lot of downtime.

A lot of downtime to where I can think and when I can get into trouble with my thinking. But if I see a customer at work that kind of rubs me the wrong way, or if I seem an attractive woman or whatever, I've really been practicing stopping the judgment, stopping the objectification, and really silencing that inner voice. Sometimes I just say, hey, stop it. I just say that out loud. And nobody can really tell because I'm wearing a mask, but I just you gotta control that inner dialogue.

You've got to control that inner dialogue or else it's gonna run rough shot and kick your ass. It really is. So you gotta control that inner voice. And last but not least, and this is, another big one for me. But last but not least is hold your head high even when you screw up. 1 of the most embarrassing days of my life was the day that I got called into court for my eviction. I'm terrified. I am scared shitless. And I'm in my forties at this point. Okay? This was just a couple of years ago.

Just a year ago, really. Jeez. Time flies. And that was, I mean, that was one of the lowest days of my life. And that was from, you know, from some stuff that I screwed up. I mean, I failed to pay my landlord and he had no choice. I mean, I still believe he had a choice, but I forced his hand. Anyway, before I get too far down that rabbit hole, I just, and as you can tell, I still have some I still have some thoughts, feelings, and body sensations about that, about that event in my life.

But I'm a human being. I have made mistakes. I've screwed up, but I will never stop. I will never stop. I will never stop growing. I will never stop breathing until the day I start breathing. But you get what I mean. I will never stop learning how to be my best self. I'll never stop growing. Those are my 6 lessons. Well, I guess 7 now, but those are the biggest lessons that I've taken from learning how to love myself. And it's a choice. It's a daily choice.

It's sometimes it's an hourly, minutely choice, but it's a crucial choice that you that you really need to make because you were the only human being to whomever whomever is listening to this. You are the only human being that has to live with yourself every day of your life.

Some of y'all may be married, have significant others, you know, have life partners, but you are the only one that has to live with yourself from the day you're born to the day you die, your entire dash, the entire thing you have to live with yourself every day, Every day. Do you wanna, do you wanna live with yourself when you hate yourself? Or do you wanna live with yourself when you know that God has put you on this planet to do something magical? He hasn't forsaken you.

He hasn't left you behind. Do you want to live yourself live with yourself when you hate yourself and your very existence like I did for so long? Or do you wanna take a deep breath and say, damn it. I'm here. I'm a miracle. I'm a living miracle. And I'm ready to lead. Do you want to love yourself or do you want to hate yourself for the rest of your life? I know what I'm choosing. How about you?

I think that'll bring it bring it to another, bring that that brings us to the end of another episode of the solar powered podcast, a presentation of oil hearts coaching. Got a bunch of stuff to to share with y'all. I'm up to some huge things, and I'm really excited to share it with y'all. For more information about the solar powered podcast, you can go to my website at royalheartscoaching.com. There's a section on this podcast, that I recently added.

Still in development, but, I'm excited to be there. And I do have a goal. I do have a goal of a 1,000 total downloads of this podcast by the end of 2020. As I'm recording this, I'm not quite to set it to a 800. I'm recording this in the middle of October. So to get to a 1,000 total downloads by New Year's Eve, I need a few things from you. 1st, subscribe. Subscribe so that, so that you get the latest episode as soon as I upload. 2nd, leave a review.

The more, you know, the more big reviews and ratings that we have, the easier it's gonna be for people to find. And last but not least, tell a friend. If you got anything out of this episode or any of the 40 some odd episodes that I've done before this, share it with a friend and tell them to go get solar powered. But that'll do it for this episode of the solar powered podcast, a presentation of Royal Hearts Coaching.

For more information about Royal Hearts Coaching, go to that website that I just mentioned a couple minutes ago, royalheartscoaching.com. You can follow me on social media at Ryan Hall Writes on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. I've been lamenting the game 7 loss of my Atlanta Braves, there recently. I'd rather not go into that. Or you can just shoot me a good old fashioned email at [email protected]. But that'll do it for this episode until we meet again.

This is Ryan Hall saying thank you so much for listening. I love you all so much. So long for now and go get solar powered. Right after you wash those hands and put on your mask. Mask.

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