In 3, 2, 1. It is time once again to get solar power. We welcome you back to the solar powered podcast where we celebrate the world changing magic of ordinary people telling extraordinary stories. My name is Ryan Hall. Thank you so much for joining us here today, and I think we've got an interesting conversation here today. We were just speaking I was just speaking with my guest before we, started rolling this recording about just what it means to unscript your life.
Because so many of us who are thought leaders, so many of us who are influential people in this world, we we feel like life has to go by a certain guidelines. It has to go by certain steps. And we find that so often these big goals and big aspirations that we have don't line up like that. And I think we've got a great guest to talk about just what it means to unscript your life. His name is Hayden Henderson. He, Hayden Humphrey. I knew I was gonna miss that. But his name is Hayden Humphrey.
He is a, uplifter. He is a mindset coach, and we're gonna talk a little bit about what it means to unscript your life. And he joins us now. Hayden, thank you so much for joining us, and my apologies for missing your name. It's all good. It's got a nice ring to it. I like that, Hayden Anderson. But Yeah. Absolutely. It's great, Ryan. I appreciate you having me, and, I'm excited to be here. Absolutely. Yeah. No. Hayden Henderson coming live to your next coffee shop.
You drop a guitar around your neck and start singing the you know, start singing Joni Mitchell covers or whatever. Listen, man. Tell us a little bit about your story. What's your story, man? My story is, one of breaking up with the script, I think, in many ways. You know, I, when I was younger, went to, you know, the good college and did well in college so that I could get a good job at an impressive company.
And, you know, in 2016, found myself working in Chicago in tech sales for a name brand tech company and ended up realizing through a series of events I missed my sales quota, how unhappy I was and how much of my life, how much of my career to that point I really had spent trying to create a certain image, trying to look a certain way, trying to be as impressive as I possibly could and, you know, really deriving so much of my sense of self worth and so much
of my sense of identity from the work that I was doing and what people thought of me. And so in the beginning of 2017, I decided I was gonna leave. I left said full time job and jumped into being self employed, which is what I've been doing now for the last, almost 7 years, six and a half years, which is kinda crazy. And, you know, have gone through a number of different evolutions, have gone through, you know, a number of different iterations.
But, you know, primarily, I think the thread through all of it has been, both deepening my own sense of self awareness and my own sense of self understanding, coming to know myself more deeply, and also starting to build a life that I feel like is a a real a really true and authentic expression and reflection of who I am. And in that life, primarily what I'm doing is I'm supporting people in doing exactly that.
I'm helping people and understanding from a mindset perspective, you know, where and when they're odd in what I call scripts. These stories, either from parents or from families or from society, that lead us to believe there are certain things that we should be doing, that we must be doing, that we need to be doing, but might not actually be aligned for us, might not actually be the thing that we actually want to do.
So my work with clients from a coaching perspective is supporting them in more deeply connecting to who are they actually, who are they authentically, and what do they actually want, and how do we start to take that thing? Even if it's just the start of a thread, how do we take that thing that they want and support them in taking steps towards making it a reality. Oftentimes, this is career change.
Sometimes this means, reinventing or shifting the nature of their business, if they're a small business owner. But, but to me, that's the most enjoyable, the most exciting conversation that I could be in with somebody. So that's what I like to do. I love it. I love it.
And one of the you know, there there's a lot to unpack from that, but the I think the biggest thing that I wanted to touch on first is I think just the idea of going into like, going into your life, going into your education, going into your future with this idea that it has to look a certain way, that it has to look like, hey. I just went to the great college.
I'm gonna get the great tech sales job or, you know, I'm gonna go work on Wall Street or something and make a lot of money, have the 2.5 kids, all that good stuff. And so I feel like so often, we don't accommodate for, is this really who I am? 1000%. I'd say the the vast majority of the time, we don't we don't accommodate or account for, like, you know, is this is this who I actually am? And, you know, I think it it's interesting because we live in a society.
We live in a system that, kind of values and I don't mean this in a disparaging way, but values and, encourages conformity. And there's this conversation. There's this element of, like, fitting in and not sticking out and doing the smart thing and being really focused on how you're looking, being really focused on what other people think of you. And, you know, I think in many ways, that has led to a lot of really great things.
I don't think that modern society is possible without the without the placement of without the existence of scripts. I think it's an inevitable thing, and actually a really helpful thing, I think, for us as a sort of global population evolutionarily. And it can also mean that on the individual level, we feel unfulfilled. We feel unseen. We feel stuck. We feel, like we are not actively choosing and creating our own lives.
And I have been fortunate enough, privileged enough to be in a space to, enter into that conversation and to start to see the ways in which I can create something that feels more authentic and reflective of who I actually am.
And just the level of fulfillment, the level of satisfaction, the level of joy, a level of peace of mind that I'm experiencing now as a result of that conversation, as a result of understanding who am I, what do I actually want, and being willing to make the decision in the face of what might feel like judgment or what might feel like criticism or what might feel like a a loss of belonging. The willingness to make those decisions has led to what I feel is a much I'm I'm very happy.
I am very happy with my life right now and how it feels and how I relate to myself and how I relate to others. And so, you know, for me, it just feels like it's a it's very much a mission. It's very much a part of my mission is I really just wanna support other people in entering into the same conversation because I genuinely believe that it is possible for everybody.
I really genuinely believe that, you know, no matter where you are, no matter who you are, no matter what has happened to you, you can start down this path of self relationship because I really feel like that's ultimately what we're talking about. Right? It's just a conversation around how do you relate to yourself, how do you know yourself, how do you come to know yourself more deeply. And, the opportunity to be able to support others and encourage others in doing that is, like, so fun.
I love it. I love it. Yeah. Like, I find that, like, I find that a lot of us in this coaching space and just for just for the listeners' information, we both graduated from the same coach training program, granted different campuses, so to speak, but it's still the same curriculum, a lot of the same, you know, a lot of the same community. But I find that a lot of us in this community, a lot of us who went through the same program, We have a moment.
We have a moment where we realize that just our life isn't working the way that we thought it was supposed to work. Our life isn't like, doesn't feel like like you're almost I I can tell you've got a good answer to this question just by, like, grin on your face. But we that there's a that there's a moment when we just realized this ain't working anymore as, like, a mad hotel, and I'm not gonna take this anymore moment. Mhmm. What was that moment for you? That's a great question.
You know, I think I've had multiple. I really I genuinely feel like I've had multiple, and and I really feel like you know, it's interesting. I was just having a conversation, with my sister actually the other week, because we have a lot of these same kinds of conversations, and we were talking about how we sort of came to this place. And for her, it was this very sort of sudden, like, wake up, you know, see it in in full view kind of thing.
And I feel like for me, it's been this very sort of gradual unfolding with these maybe more sort of memorable spikes of, oh, wow. Okay. This isn't working. You know, I need to be doing I need to be doing something else. So, like, a few highlights are like, one, for example, when I was in college, I went to a, I went to a business school, and, I, at the time, really thought that success was working at a, like, a name brand super impressive company in an impressive city.
So I ended up getting I had an internship with Ernst and Young. It's like a big four enormous company, professional services firm in, New York. And I remember, one of the last weeks of my internship, we were sitting and we were doing an audit interview with a client. And it was, like, me and, like, a staff and then, like, a manager on the project. And, we finish up the interview, and the guy that we're interviewing across the table is like, listen.
I don't wanna be rude, but, I don't know how you guys do this. Like, this is really boring. And the 2 people that I'm sitting with, they're, like, laughing politely. But as soon as he said it, I in my head was like, this is really boring. Like like, why am I doing this? Why have I put myself in this situation? And it just sort of, like, opened this, you know, different perspective of, like, oh, what am I doing, and why am I working on this?
And at the time, I had thought that's what I was gonna do. I was like, if I get an offer, like, I'm gonna accept this, and this is what I'm gonna be doing. But that really, that conversation was like, I don't think I wanna be doing that. So I started to question. And I recognized, like, I think I wanna work in, like, a at a start up. That sounds really exciting, and ended up getting a, you know, a start up job at a college.
And, you know, another inner or another moment for me was, like I said, you know, missing my sales quota, and really had this sort of, cup you know, coming into myself realization where I was like, why why am I deriving so much of my sense of self worth and identity from this work and recognizing, or seeing an opportunity to relate to myself differently.
I think the one that the moment that I'll share that's been most recent is, I burned out really hard at the end of, probably, like, middle of 2021 is when it started. And, I started to really realize it in the fall and winter of 2021. And then, you know, into moving into the spring of 2022, I knew I had to do something different. I was like, something has to change. I'm so tired. I'm so tired, and I feel like I'm just barely surviving. I'm just scraping by, constantly scraping by.
And, and so I decided to move back to Columbus where I'm from originally. And, really, like, without knowing it or sort of with knowing it, but then maybe it was a little bit more of sort of, like, an unconscious converse, decision, deciding to, like, really just give myself as much time and space as I needed in and just letting myself do whatever felt comfortable and really not forcing myself to do anything.
And in doing that and, like, recovering from that burnout and finding this sense of peace and stability and self love, self compassion that I think I've been looking for for a really long time through all the other things that I have been doing, really finding that. And now being in this conversation around how do I build my life from here with these at the center. Like, these are my new priorities. These are my new values based on what I now know to be true about myself. And so yeah.
So I don't think it wasn't any one, like, you know Right. Kind of thing. But it's just been this sort of, like, series of events where I was trying so hard at one particular strategy, and then it ended up not working out or blowing up or whatever ended up happening. But I think the thing is the thing that I wanna say, and part of the reason I was laughing when you're asking this question is, I think that for other folks too, there is this conversation around how do you interpret these events.
And do you use those kinds of events as a wake up call, or do you use them as further evidence for why things won't work? And, like, why you're not worthy of it and why it's not gonna work for you and, you know, that sort of thing. And so I think that's an important element of it is, like, how are you relating to interpreting the events in your life? Are you using them as opportunities to learn things about yourself and to question what you believe to be true?
Because, ultimately, at each of those inflection points, I then had to make a decision of, like, do I double down on the strategy that I was using to this point, or do I let go of that strategy in service of something new without knowing necessarily what the new thing was? But without doing that, without allowing for, you know, that potentially brand new mindset or that brand new perspective, I might have just continued to do the thing that I was doing previously.
Yeah. No. That that's a very power that's in just an incredibly powerful statement. Just really thinking of that, I feel like so many of us have, like, similar moments where it's not like it's not like like the like the ultimate moment where there's there's an angel choir and game show bells. It's, like, it's not that obvious. But if it doesn't get you to start questioning just why am I doing this? What is this good for?
Why am I keep why why do I keep wanting to go down this road when I know it's not gonna get me to where I'm wanna go, but the road may be comfortable. The road may be safe, but I know that it's not gonna get me to where I want it to to where I wanna go. Totally. If it doesn't lead you to start having those questions and having that conversation with yourself, what good is this whole conversation? You know? Totally.
Yeah. It is interesting because I it's like it's this sort of this, like, intrinsic or, like, internal versus external motivation. And I think, you know, sometimes I think what can happen is, like, you you know, people can get stuck in that, like, you know, one being the worst, most uncomfortable ever, and 10 being the most excited about what you're doing. People get stuck in that, like, 5 to 6 4, 5, 6 kinda range where it's really comfortable.
And, like, not, you know, there's everything's good. Everything's okay. You know, there's not anything that's, like, overtly wrong. You know, everything's going fine. You know, that sort of thing. And, and so there's not really necessarily, like, a, a prompting, or an impetus to really fundamentally assess and question and analyze why you're doing the things that you're doing and how things are going. So I think in many ways, like, that's the gift of the bottom.
That's the gift of those of those burnout, breakout, breakdown moments is, like, it really it's incredibly uncomfortable, but it allows for a really deep level of introspection and and a really sort of critical assessment of the most basic structures of your life, the most basic stories, fundamental stories that you have about yourself and about the world for you to question them. And that to me is the most important thing. Because here's the thing too.
Questioning I've I just I love this idea of, like, questioning your own beliefs and questioning your own thinking. Because the worst case scenario in doing that is that you come to the same conclusion. Right. You come to the same conclusion. And I actually would argue that there's maybe no downside to questioning, because it's only upside. Either you you reinforce the belief that you currently have, which is great.
You develop a deeper level of conviction, and, trust in yourself and in life, or you come to a different realization. You come to a different awareness. You come to a different thought, and you're then able to replace it or create something that feels like it's more in alignment with who you actually are and who you naturally are. And to me, that's so much of this game. Right?
So much of this unscripting game is, like, becoming aware of the instructions that have you've been sort of conditioned into and and the beliefs and the thoughts and the stories and the expectations and the preconceived notions that have been given to you by your family and by society, becoming aware of what those are and then deciding, what of this do I want to keep? What of this do I like? And what of this do I want to replace?
What of this do I want to, tweak or alter based on who I know myself to be and based on what feels best to me. So it's a it's a gift, I think, to question. And the cool part is you don't have to wait for a breakdown or, like, a bottom to do it. You can actively be in the conversation all the time. And I and I feel really grateful that, you know, I I think I've developed a a habit, of doing that. I'm constantly constantly in my life thinking about what is this telling me?
What is this telling me about myself? If I feel a level of discomfort or if I get triggered, if I have a reaction to something, I work I work through it, and then I go, oh, interesting. What's here for me? Cool. How cool. It's like another another piece of myself that I get to, like, understand and integrate.
So that over time, I'm spending less of my life just in this sort of reactionary state, reactionary pattern, and I'm more consciously responding to and choosing into, you know, every moment. I love it. Asking those questions, asking those difficult questions of yourself, you know, sometimes it's, you know, sometimes like, one of my favorite books is Can't Hurt Me by David Goggins. And and and Goggins had his accountability mirror.
And granted, he was a lot more, like, he's a lot more in your face about it. But Yeah. He he had his accountability mirror where he would take post it notes and, you know, face that every day as he was trying to lose the weight to go into Navy SEAL training and all that good stuff.
Mhmm. But one thing I never noticed from, you know, that I never noticed from that, and it kinda came up for me as you were sharing that is questioning those beliefs, questioning those, you know, those core stories about yourself but not making yourself wrong for having them. Because that admittedly, that's maybe a little bit of my stuff coming into play here.
But if you're questioning your self and you're making yourself wrong for having these beliefs and having these, you know, life lessons that you've been taking for all these years, you're never gonna get out of 1st gear. It's it's it's the paradox. It is a paradox. It, like, it it, like, doesn't make logical, rational sense in in a way, you know, to have both of these things be true at the same time.
To, like, have these stories that don't serve you and to be to benefit from actively working to change them and at the same time to hold none of it as wrong, to hold it all as perfect. It really, you know, it really just makes me think about this idea of being unconditionally loving. Unconditionally loving towards others. Unconditionally loving towards self. And that's the part that I love about the word unconditional. It's without condition. Literally, without condition. Under no circumstances.
Not not being loving or unkind towards self. And I think, you know, the the interesting part about it, this is really what I've come to recognize is, like, I think I spent a long time trying to fix myself. I saw a lot of what I was doing, the patterns that I had, and the ways that I was showing up as wrong, because there was an element of me that didn't like the way that I was, so I wanted to change it.
So I can give credit to that part of myself for prompting a change and prompting me to seek out this conversation and to start this journey. And I also recognize there was a lot of sort of self criticism and self judgment and self hatred in that because there was this element of, like, I'm not okay as I am. It's not okay to be this way. I should be different. I need to be different.
And this sort of, what felt like this weird urgency, this, like, relentless urgency to fix it, to fix myself, to get to a place where I was enough. And I felt like I'd done enough, and I'd accomplished enough and, you know, whatever whatever. And, what's been so awesome about that burnout that I mentioned, sort of like hitting that bottom, was it really had me understand this strategy is not sustainable. I can't keep doing this. I cannot keep living this way because it is exhausting.
I'm exhausted. I'm constantly fearful. I'm constantly panicked. I'm constantly anxious. So what if what if I just let go entirely? What if I just let go of the need or the compulsion to fix myself or to have things look or seem or feel a certain way? And what if I just tried that? What if I just try it for a period of time and just see what happens?
And, you know, like I was saying earlier, it's, like, the level of peace and relief that comes from being more unconditionally live it loving towards self is incredible. And I see so clearly now how, you know, that's been so much of my drive, so much of what I've wanted, so much of what I've been seeking, maybe not intellectually, but from a body, from a heart perspective. Just being okay with myself.
But you do, I think, have to come to that place where you are able to live in the paradox of it. Yep. And to see the thing that you wanna change, but also love it, be able to integrate it, you know, into yourself. Completely. Completely. Oddly enough, as you were sharing that, what came to, you know, what came to me is the idea of, just an expert musician, like a jazz, like a jazz pianist. Right?
So you brought up this concept several times during this conversation, the idea of trust trusting yourself, trusting the people in your life that you're on the right path. When you're, you know, when you're in a when you're playing jazz music, you have that basic structure of, you know, what key you're in, what, you know, what changes are in, who's gonna take what solo. Mhmm. But you really never know where that solo is gonna go.
You really never know where that song is gonna go, but you have to trust the other people up on the stage with you. You have to trust that they are listening to you when they're absorbed kind of, kind of listening to where you're going. So I guess my point in saying this is that none of us get there alone. None of us get there by ourselves. There's always a community. There's always a, like, a team behind you to help you unscript your life, so to speak. A 1000%. It's such a beautiful, analogy.
It's such a beautiful image. I appreciate you sharing that. And, and I think you're a 100% right. You know? It's like this understanding the basic rules and understanding that there are certain elements that will present themselves, make themselves clear, be addressed in the moment.
And I definitely I continue to find ways in which I have developed this strategy, this orientation to life that's very much about control and very much about knowing exactly how things are gonna go and, trying to control and manipulate and plan and have all the things in the right place so as to try and create a certain result. But, you know, it's interesting as I just find myself 9 times out of 10, it never goes that way.
I'm constantly anxious and panicked, because, I'm fearful about ultimately, right, I'm not I'm fearful about not getting what I want. That's why I feel this desire to control or manipulate. And it's lonely. It's also lonely. So I love what you said around community. And, like, the thing that came up for me as you were talking was, you know, also just the recognition that you have a relationship with life. You have a relationship with life.
Like, your life and what you're doing and and the results that are that are making their way into your life, like, it's a cocreated experience. It's a cocreative process. And, like, there are only so many things that you can do, And then there are things that are totally out of your control that you don't have any control over. And, like, literally, at one point, I sat down, and I and I looked that mapped out.
Okay. Based on what I want, what are the things that are actually under my control, and what are the things that I don't have any control over? And it's like I have to keep that top of mind for myself as I'm moving through life. And I think that, you know, similar to how when you start to learn a new skill over time, it becomes more unconscious, and you don't have to think about it as much.
It just becomes you know, it's like a process of developing towards mastery, having mastery over something.
Starting to, I feel, create that same experience for myself around how I create results, how I get the things that I want in my life, how I create the experiences that I want in my life, starting to understand, like, where are the places that I get to and that I like to and that I want to exert influence, and then what are the places where I can let go and trust and just know it's being taken care of.
I actually don't need to know x, y, and z and the the plan of how it's gonna come into existence, because I know that it will. And, you know, it's interesting because I don't think that we I think that we live in a society. I think we live in culture that's very sort of, like, mapped out, planned out, strategic, very detailed sort of, like, effort. Have a plan, then go put the plan into action and, you know, etcetera, etcetera. Valuable. Absolutely.
There's there's elements of that are that are really valuable. Some people align with that more than others. But I think that, you know, for for a large portion of the population, that isn't necessarily the answer. So it's this other conversation around how do you utilize the elements from that strategy that feel good, but then also make space for doing things differently. Completely. I love the analogy of almost like a, like a you know, like a cake recipe, for example.
You know, most of these recipes, you know, except if you're the you know, except if you have a southern grandmother, like, I had 2 of them. Mhmm. Most of these recipes are gonna be written down are gonna be written down. You use x amount of this, x amount of y, you know, that kind of thing. But as you're making it, perhaps you wanna experiment with okay. Maybe there you know, maybe I should try brown sugar instead of white sugar.
Or, you know, maybe I could try, I don't know, coconut milk instead of, you know, dairy milk. And you determine that, okay. That didn't work. Let me try this. Let me stick to the script. Mhmm. And there's you know, like you said, there's so much of life, so much of, you know, so much of society. We need things kinda laid out for us in that recipe, but life doesn't work like that.
At least in my experience, life just does not work like that because my my way of living is not gonna bait, you know, be your way of living or any of our viewers or any of our listeners. So that then becomes the exact conversation. Right? How do you determine your way of living? Yeah. What does that look like? And, for me, that's the most exciting conversation we could be in. That's the most exciting conversation I can be in with somebody.
Because to me, it's this like, you know, if we if we talk about life, the point of life is to enjoy your life. Mhmm. What's the point? It's to enjoy it. And, I think that when you do that right, when you're doing it consciously, the results that you want, the impact that you want, the wealth that you want, the community that you want, the resources that you want will make their way to you naturally. They'll make their way to you naturally and effortlessly. It won't have to be this struggle.
It won't feel like this chore. We just get so focused on the results. We get so focused on the material. We get so focused on the, you know, impression, and the and the the status or the recognition from others. And we think, oh, well, once I have that, then I'll feel the way that I want. Then my life will feel the way that I want. Then I'll feel the way that I want about myself and, you know, etcetera, etcetera.
So, you know, it, I think, becomes this conversation of, like, how do you how do you get both? How do you get both? How do you how do you not sacrifice the enjoyment of your everyday life in service of results that you may or may not ultimately care about once you achieve those things? And how do you get the results that you really care about? And, like, it requires a very different kind of conversation.
It requires a very sort of ambiguous, nebulous, sometimes messy, sometimes chaotic, not necessarily with form, a little bit formless kind of conversation. Right.
So, you know, it's interesting to me, and and I absolutely understand why a lot of people don't participate in those kinds of conversations, and, you know, these kinds of conversations and even why sometimes, you know, not that we're venturing into, like, a spiritual realm or any or religious realm or anything like that, but why some people consider that woo woo, because of how we're taught to relate to ourselves and because of how we're taught to navigate life.
But I think so much of finding your unique way of living is being in the question and being willing to experiment. Ultimately, that's really what it is. You know? It's like, I love that, you know, I love that analogy of, like, hey. You tried this. How did it feel? Did it work? Did it produce the results that you wanted it to? And if not, cool. Then, like, you know, you just try something else.
So part of it too, you know, this is the other thing that's coming up for me as you were talking was, like, part of this too, I think, is being really cognizant about the relationship that you have with yourself and really, being in this question around how can you be extend, expand, amplify the amount of grace and compassion that you have for yourself.
Because you creating your life the way that you want to, creating an experience that feels incredibly exciting and satisfying and unique and authentic to you is gonna require failure. It's gonna require a lot of failure. It's gonna require a lot of mistakes. It's gonna require a lot of, like, stepping in it. It's gonna require a lot of discomfort, a lot of discomfort. And, like, if you're unwilling to change the nature of the relationship that you have with yourself, it's gonna be a chore.
It's just gonna be suffering all the way up and all the way down. Because anytime then that something doesn't go the way that you thought that it should or that it would, you make it mean something about you. You beat yourself up. Versus looking at all of this. It's just a grand experiment. It's literally all of it's a grand experiment, and an opportunity to learn more about yourself, to come to this place where you see and know this is how I uniquely create my own life.
But it's a just takes time and experimentation to get there. Takes time. It takes experimentation. And like you should, it takes it takes a lot of failure. It takes a lot of failure. Getting back to my analogy about the about the jazz musician, that same that same, you know, piano player might go off the stage, and he might be beating himself up because something that he may try may have tried on the stage just didn't work, but he still got a standing ovation from them. 1000%.
But because do you, like, because do you really, like do most people really know the failure? Do post do most can most people really see it? I mean, if you're gonna you know, if you're if you're a baseball player, you're swinging at a, you know, 3rd strike in the dirt. Yeah. That's a failure that you're going to, that is going to be witnessed by 30,000 people in the stands and, you know, million people on TV. But those are obvious. A lot of this stuff.
Getting back to your word, a lot of this stuff is ambiguous. Is it really, you know, is it really a failure to one person or is it a failure to another person or is it just like a straight out, I screwed up. You know? Totally. It's, I think, the sort of, like, the gift and the curse of being a high achiever or being somebody who is intrinsically motivated and who holds themselves to a high standard is, like, it means that you create greater results. You go faster. You go further.
You improve, in a way that is that is more diligent. You're more diligent about your own optimization and your own improvement. And it can also come with a greater degree of scrutiny, self scrutiny, and a greater degree of self criticism, and a greater degree of self judgment. And so it it is interesting. It does become this conversation around, like, when is that when does it stop being helpful and supportive? You know?
If we're talking about, this conversation around creation and mastery, mastery of a process, or developing a particular skill. And I think I'm coming to recognize over time that I more appreciate skill that's developed through positive encouragement and discipline, but loving discipline versus self criticism, self judgment, self flagellation, beating of self, ultimately rooted in this not enough kind of story.
Been a truly a fascinating conversation, and, you know, we could I could certainly go on about just geeking out about leadership and changing our stories. I could go about this for hours, but I did wanna ask you one more question before we wrap up. What kind of people do you find that tend to be attracted to you to wanna to to wanna say, hey. Hey. Help me unscript my life. Well, I think, you know, it's couple different kinds of people.
I think often, well, I think one is folks who resonate with what I'm sharing. I I think that you know, it's funny. We had this conversation earlier. I think last week, you and I were talking about this exact thing. And, you know, I've really come to recognize the the way that I feel like I'm showing up now is I feel very present, and I feel very, like, I'm really speaking from my own heart. And I'm really speaking from a place of, like, I really genuinely this is how I talk to my clients.
This is exactly how I talk to my clients. So, if this if it resonates with you, if what I'm sharing resonates with you, if there's a if there's a sense of, resonance, if there's a sense of feeling seen, feeling inspired, feeling encouraged, feeling uplifted, those are the folks that I really enjoy working with.
And, you know, from a more sort of, like, contextual or circumstantial perspective, it's often people who feel stuck, who feel unfulfilled, who feel like they have been trying and trying and trying and trying and trying, running on this treadmill, for and they're exhausted, but they don't seem to be making any progress or, like, things don't really seem to be changing.
Often folks who find themselves in, like, a corporate, role, for example, or, even, like, small business owners who feel like they've really they've burned out after attempting to build in a particular way, and they're looking to do it different.
You know, for me, so much of the work that I do with people is around self discovery and is around really more deeply understanding what your internal narratives are and and, developing, recognizing, allowing for your own self efficacy, your own agency to come to come forward.
And so the people that I really love working with are people who really wanna do this work, people who are really interested in learning about themselves, going deep in learning about themselves, going deep in understanding, who they are, why they're here, and how to create an experience, how to create a life that's that is a 10 out of 10. Yeah. Right? Because Right. We're only here one time. We literally like, we have one this one opportunity to be here.
And, like, I I feel so, motivated and inspired to really look at, like, how do I live this in the best possible way? And, like, I love working with people who feel that same way. I love it. I love it. It I forget who said it, but do you really wanna be living the same life the same year over and over and over again for the next 75, 80 years? Or do you want a life that just lights you up and you're you're not sitting in the nursing home somewhere on a rocking chair wondering about what if?
Absolutely. Yep. Absolutely great. Yep. Just one more note. I talk all the time about how people's stories can change the world, about how people's stories can really shape their, you know, their entire world. And I think this conversation is just really a beautiful example of just how how a simple story how a simple story about wanting to change the way that you see life can really affect so many people. So thank you so much for, you know, thank you so much for swimming in the story with me.
Absolutely. Thank you so much for the space. Thanks so much for the questions and the really awesome analogies and metaphors. It's been, an absolute pleasure. Pleasure is mine, Hayden. How can people find you online, my brother? Super active on LinkedIn. You can find me there under Hayden Humphrey or my website, hadenhumphrey. Dotcom. Beautiful. And I will include links, in the description of this year, of this year podcasts.
So, Hayden, thank you so much for joining us here today, and thank you for tuning into the solar powered podcast, the presentation of Royal Hearts Media. For more information about Royal Hearts Media, reach out and join us on our website at royal heartsmedia.com. Follow me on the social media machine at Ryan Hall Writes on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram, or shoot me a good old fashioned email at royalheartscoaching@gmail.com. Until we meet again, this is Ryan Hall saying thanks for listening.
So long for now, and go get solar power.