Hello, and welcome to Something to Talk About, the Stellar podcast. I'm Sarah La Marquin to your host, and every week I sit down with some of the biggest names in the country because when Australia's celebrities are ready to talk, they come to Something to talk about. As a breakfast TV presenter on Sunrise, Aduena Bartholomew is used to bringing
Australians the news each day. But one morning a few months ago, she shared some very personal and very confronting news live on air when she revealed that she'd been diagnosed with chronic Mylloyd leukemia.
It's not great news, not a panda story. To finish the bulletin, I have been diagnosed with cancer. That's a shock to say and hard to say, but it's a really good come.
It was an announcement that sparked hundreds of headlines over the following days and weeks.
And so I made it really clear that the reason that I was speaking about it publicly was because I genuinely thought that it could help people in terms of just going to doctor getting a health check, not just women, everyone and that was amazing because I didn't just hear from people initially when I made the announcement, who were you know? Sending good thoughts my way? And then over the coming days and weeks heard from so many people who had gone to get checked, and that was really gratifying.
Today, sitting down with me, there's something to talk about. Studio. Duena admits that she's still struggling to process the fact she has cancer. But as I'm sure she would want me to assure you, this is not a morbid conversation. It is often raw and emotional, but also hopeful and filled with lessons A Duenna's diagnosis has taught her that
I believe all of us can learn from. She also recalls what it was like to break the news to her parents and why she chose not to tell her young children about her diagnosis, and her advice to anyone listening who feels like they are far too busy to take care of themselves. And as this truly life changing year for a Duena draws to a close, her unexpected answer when asked if she would go through it all again, Aduena Bartholemey, Welcome back to the Stellar podcast.
Sarah, thank you for having me back so soon.
It has been soon. It was actually April of this year. That you were last year with me Duena and we had an amazing conversation was one of our most popular episodes of this year. One of the things that we talked about in the course of our conversation was that because you'd recently turned forty, you were becoming a lot more conscious of your health. And then of course this year, Bam, you have had quite the year and a diagnosis, of course,
of chronic my lloyd leukemia. Eddie. I know it's not something that you like really talking about it, but you have been very gracious and generous with your story, and I know also that you feel very strongly that yours is a positive story, and you're very conscious of all of the people that watch you every morning and that are listening to this and reading this piece, that are dealing with their own journeys, much of them, in your words, probably a lot more difficult.
It really feels like a full circle moment to be sitting back here and talking to you, Sarah, because it was that very conversation and that podcast and the article that I wrote for Stella. I actually kind of lied to you because you asked me what I was doing for my health, and I okay for you a very generic answer about you know, I'm going for by cries and I'm taking time out and I'm taking some me time. And the reality was I wasn't doing really any of that.
And I wrote this article for Stella, my regular column, about a health scare that i'd had I'd found a lump in my breast and how I'd gone to get it checked out, and how it was all fine, but what a great reminder to mums and busy women everywhere to keep an eye on their health. And then literally you sent it to me to check and I checked it over and it was all fine, and it was being published that week and I had to call and say,
you can't publish it because it's not all okay. And that was the week that I found out I have leukemia. And even now saying it out loud, it's a shock to the system, even though I've had months and months to process it. Now and as you say it's a positive outcome, I will be okay, But it's still cancer. And that word sticks and shocks, doesn't it when you
say it out loud? But yeah, it was very much a result of writing that piece for Stella and turning that focus on my health, that I've ended up in this situation and that it's ended up being a positive outcome because I think I caught this particular condition, chronic Mylloyd leukemia, within maybe a month or two of having it, which puts me in an extremely lucky category when it comes to people with leukemia.
As you say, duino, canoni imagine words like leukemia, words like cancer? They're so confronting. We all know that there's arguably very few more emotive words in the English language. Can you tell me a little bit about how you first felt when you first heard those words, and were the words chronic my Lloyd leukemia anything that was even something you were aware of, because certainly the awareness that you have brought to this, there's actually lots of articles
out there now about what is this condition? I have to I hadn't heard of it prior to your diagnosis. What about you?
I had not heard of it at all. I'd obviously heard the word leukemia and that can be a huge spectrum of conditions, and thankfully CML is on the end that's now a chronic condition as opposed to terminal. But yeah, I'll take you back to the doctor's surgery. I have a wonderful doctor of female GP, very focused on a women's health, and she'd set me off to do all his tests and one of them came back slightly irregular and she said, you know, do you have an infection?
Have you been one well? And I said, look, I've got you know, a two and a four year old. I've always got something floating around my system. And she said, maybe just go and do that one test again. And it took me about a month to do that, as with so many of us, you know, there's other stuff going on. So I finally went and then she called me that night quite late. I was already asleep. She said, are you feeling okay? And I said I'm fine. She said, well,
maybe you should come in tomorrow. And then the next day the doctor surgery called and said when you come in you should bring someone with you. And that's never a good thing. That's a never good thing to hear. And so thankfully my husband, who lives outside of Sydney was here at that time and I called him and I said, can you come with me? And so we were sitting there and she told.
Me, you have.
We need to confirm it but we believe that you have a condition called chronic my Lloyd leukemia. It was like a scene from a movie, you know when you see those people sort of take that gasp of air that you know, like you when you say it out loud for the first time. And I was lucky to be able to call a friend of mine who runs a cancer charity and ask her advice. And I called
her and I said I have cancer. And that was an incredibly confronting phone call to make, and I called her before I called my family, and we drove from the doctor straight to tell my parents.
So yeah, that was the hardest.
Bit telling people. But we knew very soon after that the outcome would.
Be really good.
So it was a weird mix of emotions because you have cancer, you have something called CML, you're navigating what that is and you're trying not to google the symptoms and the outcome. But at the same time you know that you are extraordinarily lucky. So I think in the initial stages, I was fully focused on being very chipper about having cancer. And since then, the emotions have definitely gone up and down, and I've sort of dealt with it.
And yeah, I mean I feel okay about it. The really interesting thing is for me, I haven't had the trauma of something like chemotherapy or even going to hospital, to be admit, and I'm so conscious that so many people reading this and listening to this have gone through that journey and it doesn't necessarily end well. So I constantly have everyone who has cancer in my thoughts when
I say something like this. I didn't have the trauma, but I was able to have that extraordinary change of perspective that something like this affords you or forces you into, I suppose. So that's been a wonderful outcome in that you just suddenly become hyper focused on all the things that are really actually important in life. And that's been a wonderful takeaway from what's been a fairly turbulent few months.
And that is very much something that I'd love to talk to about further today, is about that change of perspective and why I did to come back to the podcast studio twice within a relatively short time, especially as we reach the end of the year and a lot of people are reflecting on the year that was and the lessons that we've learned, and obviously you have a
lot to impart there. But before we come to that, do you mind if I go back then when you and Neil left the doctors after you received your diagnosis, and you then went and told your family, your parents. It's always very difficult, I imagine for a parent to hear their child tell them a diagnosis like that. How did they cope?
Yeah, Actually watching dad find out was probably harder than watching mum, because you know, I think dads are often quite stoic, aren't they. So yeah, it was really emotional. I think the biggest thing for me is I didn't have to tell my kids, so I was able to explain to Mum and Dad the nuts and bolts and the practicalities of it and what would happen the treatment and all of those things straight up, and that I had to have a biopsy to confirm it and all
the kind of yeah, just the practicalities of it. And they're fairly pragmatic people, and so we were able to have it. You know, it was really emotional discussion, but also they could see that it wasn't the end of the world and that I was going to be okay. And then because my kids are two and four, I never had to have the conversation with them, which is such a huge relief. So for them, there's no physical difference.
They don't you know, I'm actually probably feeling better than I was previously, not as tired, and taking care of myself better. So for them, there's only a plus side because I'm around more and probably more present than I was before as well deliberately and so thankfully I didn't have to I didn't have to tell them, but because I knew that I wanted to share it publicly, I wanted to make sure that I spoke to everyone in my life before they found out via the TV. So
that was probably a challenging few weeks. Just calling people and catching up with people. Joyous in some ways because it's just nice to see people and nice to see how people care, but that was challenging to say it out loud, and then you know, I have to explain the process. And I've never understood what it's like to be in people's thoughts and prayers, but now I do. It's a pretty powerful thing.
What is it like to be in people's thoughts and prayers?
It's really beautiful, you know, it's really just it was just so lovely. I heard from thousands of people, thousands, and I tried to get back to everyone. People were just so kind, so kind in sharing their own stories, so gracious in sharing their own battles, the way that their lives had changed. It was really beautiful, and I heard from people all over the world. It was quite unbelievable.
But you know the power of that is it's hard to quantify what that means to someone, and anyone who's gone through a health battle like that, or have a family member that have gone through something similar will understand.
It's just it's wondrous, really. And what was also amazing is that the reason I wanted to speak so publicly about it was because I just felt that it could really help people, because I had no symptoms and no indication that I was sick, And so I made it really clear that the reason that I was speaking about it publicly was because I genuinely thought that could help people in terms of just going to doctor getting a health check, not just women, everyone, And that was amazing
because I didn't just hear from people initially when I made the announcement, who were you know, sending good thoughts
my way? And then over the coming days and weeks heard from so many people who had gone to get checked, and that was really gratifying and amazing, and not just check, people who had made amazing life changes, had quit their jobs, had moved, had made these kind of incredible life changes because they just realized, as I have, that life's so short and so precious, and that was unexpected and amazing.
I was thinking, just how absolutely amazing because somebody like you that is being beamed into people's living rooms and has been for a long time on Sunrise and on social media, and you know, you might wear something and everyone's.
Like, where'd you get that from?
When you talk about something, or you took your kids somewhere, and everyone wants to know everything, and then to share something that's so raw and vulnerable and to have that have such an influence and an impact. I mean, Eddie, that's truly life changing stuff.
Yeah, it was phenomenal. In fact, I'll read to you a text that I received from a friend of mine just this week, and she said, I wanted to wait until I had the results to tell you because of you, I went and had every overdue scan, screen and test, and because of you, all were fine except breast. They found a lump on my chest wall impossible to feel, but lit up like a balloon on the mammogram. And because of you, yesterday I sat in a room in a robe with a dozen other women.
Who had also received a callback.
I had more exams, three D mammograms, ultrasound, and because of you, I was called in the office of the nurse, not the oncologist, and I'm one of the lucky ones. It was just a cyst, but because of you, I feel very grateful to be well and relieved, and I hope you're feeling as good as me today.
Ah, that's amazing, which is just, you know, so unbelievable, so moving, isn't.
It really lovely?
Because, as you say, Edwena, in the time where you received your diagnosis and then you're having all of these conversations, never easy to say anything out loud, whatever it is, whether it's telling your loved ones, your friends, your colleagues. And then obviously this mass out pouring from people all over Australia in the world followed when you went public with your diagnosis on Sunrise, which was the first week of September and was time just ahead of Blood cancer
Awareness Month. So everything that you've just talked about was part of why you decided to speak out. That must also be gratifying because I rewatched you speaking about it again last night ahead of us sitting down, and I did watch it obviously, I knew it was going to happen, and I did watch it live on air that morning, and I remember thinking at the time, my heart went out to you, like everyone would have, whether they know you or not, and you, genuinely, you just handled yourself
so incredibly beautifully. It was so eloquent, and it was such a moving moment. You must have felt incredibly well, you will tell me how you feel. But that must have been extremely confronting, because having to tell one person a couple of people is difficult enough. Having to go and share that story with the country, it's not easy.
It actually felt like a relief to have it out there.
Obviously, in the lead up.
To that, I was going to specialist appointments in and out of hospitals for specialist visits and having to get blood tests and all this sort of thing, and I really wanted to do it on my own terms and share that news, and I wanted to do it in
a time that suited me. So I'd known for about a month and a half by the time I made that announcement, and even in the studio that morning, I tried to make sure that everyone knew before they heard it on TV, because there's just nothing worse when you're standing in the room with someone and they're sharing something
so personal and you're finding out in that way. And I wanted to do it, particularly during that time because I'd already booked to go away and spend a week just at a health retreat, and I knew that I had time after that book to spend with my family, So yeah, it felt like a huge relief, and I'd spend a bit of time afterwards, just over the weekend writing back to as many people as I could, and then I just stopped. And then it was really nice to spend some time with his friends and family, and
Seven's been so gracious about it. I took some time off there then, and then I've only gone back to working three or four days a week, which has been a huge relief because now it's moved from being an issue about the initial diagnosis to just taking care of myself genuinely this time, not just lying.
To you about it.
So yeah, that's the focus for me now is well being and making sure that you know, I sleep enough and eat well and you know, really really do take care of myself. So yeah, it felt like a real weight off my shoulders to actually say it out loud, and you know, knowing I had the support of all my colleagues there and all my friends at home and family as well.
So yeah, it felt good actually, And as you say, I can see why it would have been a relief, because the last thing you want is anyone finding out about a way where that's completely out of your control and you feel on top of everything that you're managing at that time that you then have to be worried about that.
But went to the Logis the week before, and obviously I knew then, and naturally everyone says, oh, how are you you're well, and I said, oh, yeah, really well, thanks,
And I just felt so fraudulent the whole time. And there were friends that I saw there who were quite close, but obviously, you know, that's not the environment to tell anyone that kind of news, and so yeah, compared to feeling that way where you're kind of keeping a secret, and it didn't feel very genuine to actually just having it out there and it's you know, it's not something
that has to define you, obviously, but it's nice. And I heard from a friend of mine she had exactly the same diagnosis, almost exactly the same week, and so we're going through the same thing together. So just weird, weird instances like that of you know, friends, strangers, lots of people reaching out, sharing advice.
But she called me afterwards. I called her afterwards.
And I can't believe this, you know what happened, and we went through it, and she said hearing it from you made me feel a lot better about what was happening to me. So that was also a lovely, nice, kind of side effect of it all.
And after the break, Duena reflects on what twenty twenty four has taught her, an answer that brought us both to tears. Did many of your immediate colleagues know? Because it didn't get out and obviously I knew, and so did my deputy editor, Nicholas No. And you're always holding your breath when somebody's you know, got a timeline in terms of working through something really big in their life, whether it's really happy news or challenging news, and it
didn't get out there at all. It's I would argue, that's a real mark of you and the value and the respect that people have for you.
Hopefully, but also you have to be a real asshole and print that one.
This is true, but the industry is not devoid of assholes.
I'm just going to say this is true. This is true. I yeah, a lot of people knew, and I had already had to drop down days of work in the lead up to that announcement, and that's I'm very unusual for me to take a sick day. And so after about three or four weeks, I started to get kind of texts when my name wasn't appearing on rosters saying like, okay, how's everything going. So there plenty of people were asking questions, and I was just honest with anyone if they asked.
So yeah, by the time I made the announcement, I'm not very good at keeping secrets generally speaking, and so a lot of people knew. But it didn't bother me, you know, As I said, I was really keen to make the announcement on my terms. But I think when something like this happens, it really does put so much in perspective, and you know, I wouldn't have been the
end of the world if that happened. I would have been a bit pissed off, But like you know, in the scheme of things, it doesn't really matter.
There's been a lot of that.
I imagine, perspective has been a word that's late.
It's a big thing.
So I would love to look.
You know, bring us back then to the present day, and thank you so much for talking us all through that, because I'm sure it's never an easy thing to relive some of those, you know, really confronting moments along the way. But Eddie, the people that saw you talk about it, that follow your story, that follow you would obviously just love to know how are you going, what's the day to day like for you? What's the prognosis looking like?
I'm really well and I genuinely can say that now. So my test results have been fantastic. I've responded really well to the medication. So day to day, I have my alarm goes off twice a day, so once at three o'clock to get up and once at eight pm to take my medication. So it's a tablet cost me about thirty dollars per prescription, so extraordinary that we live in this country with access to that kind of health care.
Just get it from my local pharmacy and I just have to take it at the same time every day, and I'll have to take it for a couple of years at least. But my initial test results have been absolutely fantastic. So my white blood cell count is almost back to normal, and there's another indicator that's looking really good as well. I had to have a bone marrow biopsy, which was fairly uncomfortable. They give you that painkiller they give to athletes on the side of the side.
Of the field.
That's good stuff that really works, so that wasn't too bad. And I actually I was lying having the biopsy at Saint Vincent's Hospital and I.
Said to the doctor, I just feel so lucky.
I feel so lucky that I caught it so early, that I'm here so quickly, that we have access to this kind of healthcare. And he said, oh, we don't get that vibe in here very often. So I have, I think perspective, and I think mine said has been.
A big part of.
The whole process from the get go, making sure that I felt really confident about the care receiving, and yeah, I guess optimistic about the outcome because it is really good. People can live with this their entire lives, and because I caught it so early, I could be rid of it in a few years. That's not to say you might get something else down the track, or you know, something else might develop entirely unrelated, but there's no increased
chance of that happening. So yeah, I just feel that ever since this happened, I suddenly have just taken care of myself. So I'm all the freeese, you know, gluten free, coffee free, alcohol free, sugar free, mostly you know, slight dip during Halloween. So just exercising, I'm taking time out for myself. I'm reading books. I'm much more sounds so cliche,
but much more present with even with my kids. I liken it too, having an old school camera and moving the focus and suddenly everything is a bit sharper.
That's how it feels.
It's a great analogy, And I did want to go back to what you were talking about about the change in perspective and what you've learned, but without that really as you sort of characterized it, particularly traumatic part that can sometimes come with that shift in perspective and that life changing experience. I imagine some of those tangible things that you've talked about being a bit kinder to yourself, changes to your lifestyle a part of that.
What else have.
Been the things that you have learned about yourself and the changes that you've made as part of this.
I mean, most days I forget I have cancer, and then some days it really smacks you in the face. I recently had pneumonia, and I don't normally get sick, says she who's got cancer. But I don't normally get sick on a day to day basis, and I was wiped out for days. And I think until that point, I'd been really hyper focused on life just continuing as normal and this wasn't going to change me. And then I realized, well, it has changed me innately, both physically
and mentally. And that was a real adjustment. I think because I was so focused on being really positive about it, I just had to allow myself to be really sad about it for a bit and that kind of really helped.
Actually, I just.
I just yeah, I think it just makes you realize that everything is about my husband, my kids, and me in a beautifully selfish way, and everything in our lives now revolves around those important building blocks of our little lives and other things don't really matter. Yeah, Like it's like when you have kids and you don't care that much about seed the light anymore because you kind of like accept your body. And this is a similar process.
You know, like your body is just doing the best it possibly can to support you, and you just got to do the best you can to support it, and everything else kind of melts away a little bit, if that makes sense. It really does, And I think it's that clarity, isn't It can come from that where it's boiled down in an instant to what really matters, because we often intellectually understand that, but it's hard to inhabit.
That space on a regular basis. You mentioned earlier with your daughter Molly and your son Thomas that you were very lucky and that you didn't have to tell them the specifics of your diagnosis. How are they managing through this because obviously they've grown up with you being in
the spotlight and they know that. I imagine, you know, when you're out in the shops or walking around, people are like talking to you, like they know you, have there been any interactions that they've witnessed since you went public with the diagnosis that have looked a bit different, or that they've asked any questions.
I don't think they know it all. I've been really careful not to mention the word cancer around them. I don't talk about my treatment. I don't talk about being sick or going to the doctor or going to hospital, because obviously they know those words. So I'm just very conscious of not having that conversation in the house within earshot of them. And I think people are very people are very decent and very lovely when we're out and about.
If they ask not asking for specifics, they're just sort of saying, you know, hope you're okay and are you well. And it's been lovely to have that almost cushioned environment because when I'm with them, i mentioned before, you can easily forget you have cancer because it's just going on in the background and your body. And so when I'm with them, it's just this beautiful little world that belongs to toddlers, completely oblivious to what's going on everywhere else
around you. So you know, they wouldn't have any idea at all, and that's a really, really beautiful thing. I mean, I don't think they have much idea, to be honest, that I even work on TV because you don't have a TV at home. We only watch TV on a laptop, and so they don't watch me on TV. They don't know that I work in TV. So I just think they think people are friendly when they come up and
say hi. I don't think they have any comprehension of what I do for a living or what's going on in our From a wider perspective.
I love this generational shift of this kids growing up. So many of our kids that don't even have a TV. Yeah, it's already such a retro concept. They're still watching them, but yeah.
We've seen everything TV in the lound room.
A bit of a segue then, but also still on the topic of parenthood. When you and I spoke Eddie in April, we spoke about the mother guilt quote unquote tropes that haunts working mothers, and you had some amazing comments that just went absolutely everywhere at the time. Just to recap, you said, you know what, I just don't give a shit about mother's guilt. People ask me about the juggle all the time, and I just say I
get a lot from my work. I love my work, and talked a little bit about you know, providing you just said. I just don't buy into it. I know I'm raising two amazing kids because they're funny, they're delightful, they're well mannered most of the time. They don't always eat their vegetables. But we try that whole guilt thing. It's rubbish. Why do you think those comments struck such a cord.
I'm not sure.
Maybe people don't hear them enough. Maybe people need to hear them. And again, I mean when that article was published and the podcast went out, I again heard from so many mums who in the same boat. So yeah, I think it just validated what a lot of people were already feeling. I think the most challenging thing for me over the last few months has been I've just I have been really tired, and so, you know, have
I always been my best parenting self? Maybe not, because I've just been you know, like the titus is so extreme that I get a bit grumpy. So yeah, I probably need a reminder of those words myself sometimes. But what I've actually tried to do over the last month and a bit is take to take it one step further. I don't know. This is privilege is to take time out just by myself, so not with my husband, not
with friends, just with me. And that's been wonderful for my mental health, just to have the time to read a book or just think about things, to go for walks by myself. And I know not everyone's in a position where they can do that, but that's been a great part of this process, was realizing how important that space is as well, and how I'm a better parent when I have that space to myself, just to have some quiet and be in my own thoughts and return to the family as a better version of myself. So
I guess that's an extrapolation of that mum guilt. I've tried to just set aside that time every couple of months to, yeah, just just be alone.
And do you think that's something that you'll hopefully take with you of these sort of some of these realizations and shifts in perspective that you've experienced over the last few months. I suppose you are throwing forward to the things that will be part, hopefully of your new perspective on life forever.
I think so I think Julia Baird writes a lot about searching for are and the ore hunters, so there's that element of it. You're definitely on the lookout for beauty and that hyper focus that I spoke about earlier, that turning life into sharp focus. So it really shines a light on how you treat yourself. And clearly the twenty four to seven go go go approach that I
had to life for the last forty years had to shift. Look, there could have been gentler ways to find that out, but this has definitely been a huge takeaway for me that life cannot continue like that anymore. So then what does that look like? And I've had to say to work, I can't now go back to work five days a week at three am in the morning. It's not something
that I can do. And to their credit, Channel seven have been phenomenal about that, understanding that for my family and for me and for my health, that's just not something I can do right now, and it might be something I can do in the future, but having to set really clear parameters around that is not something I've
ever done before. It's like I finally grewsome balls after twenty years of working where I just said, right, Okay, these are the non negotiables in my life, and I will not compromise on my family, on myself, on my marriage, and on my life and my health. And that's it. And that has been powerful, and.
It's very powerful. And I'm just sitting here nodding along in the most profound way, and I'm sure everyone is. And also, as you said, would be nice if we could have these realizations without.
Maybe in a gent way, universe, what do you think? Do you know what though, it does feel like a gentle chance to have that realization, and I don't think you get it twice. And it could have been a lot different. I could have gone into that doctor's office that day and they could have said you have four weeks to live, or you have a few months to live, or go home and sort out your affairs, because this is the end. And I know there would be people listening to this today that that was the case for
them or their family member. And coming so close to that, coming so close to that.
Harsh dose of.
Mortality and walking a line close to death makes you feel more alive, I think. And that wasn't the case for me. It wasn't the worst case scenario. It's the best case scenario. So how do I make the best life out of that possible? And what a gift that is.
And what a gift I wanted to ask about your advice. I suppose to people listening. One of the things that you first spoke about in the lead up to your diagnosis and then of course in the aftermath of your diagnosis, was specifically to other women, other working mothers, who often will put themselves, as you said, at the bottom of the to do list. That became a reality for you.
As you I said, it was something you were probably talking about, maybe like you know, feeb in about little and then it really very much obviously became truth writ large. If you are listening to this and you're thinking, I know, I know I'm overdue thissappointment or that check up, or I'm not feeling that good, but I think I'm just a bit tired, anything that you'd say to anyone who feels like they're at the bottom of the to do list. I had absolutely no indication of what was going on
in my body. I wasn't listening, and if I was, I probably wouldn't have done anything about it. I decided that I should put my health first, and I should get a bunch of tests just because I just turned forty and thought, I'll prioritize this, and wouldn't it be great to have a baseline of health in case something happens in the future.
And look what happened. So if you've been putting off that test or you're so consumed with life and kids, and this is for men and for women, don't just go.
To your doctor get a check.
It's just a routine blood test, or get the mammogram you've been putting off, or the perhapsmeir or whatever it is. Because that decision could be what changes your life for the better, and if you don't make that decision, it could be the decision that changes your life for the worst. And I would say to anyone listening to this, just write the rules to your own life. And I think that's the lesson for mother's guilt. It's the lesson for.
How you.
Look to twenty twenty five and what's to come. And I know we make news resolutions and.
Try to make a fresh start.
Every January one, But write the rules to your own life and make them what suits you and stick to them. And that's certainly what I'll be doing moving forward.
Well, my final question was actually going to be about
the end of the year. It's December now, a lot of us are obviously thinking about end of year celebrations, reflections in our personal lives, in our family lives, in our work lives, and then, as you say, throwing forward to New Year's resolutions, when you look back on the year that was twenty twenty four, I imagine probably the most life changing of your life, and at forty one, you've been through quite a lot, a bit, lot of highs and a lot of lows, as I suppose most
of us navigate, would you go through it all again?
I would go through it again. It's too early to say if it's the best thing that's ever happened to me, because it's a bit early for that. But this year I felt the extraordinary force of love from everyone everyone I've ever met. I heard from ex boyfriends, real estate agents, my mortgage broker, like everyone I've ever met in My phone absolutely lit up.
So I really felt what it was like to be.
Loved, and I learned what it is to love.
So deeply.
And to realize what is so important to.
Me, and I would never give that back and that will be with me for the rest of my life, well beyond New Year's Eve and those resolutions, and well beyond twenty twenty five. It has been life changing in the best possible way.
Well, Atuina Bufthalom, you were both in tears, so on that note, I have to thank you so much for coming in today, for sharing your story, for your grace and your empathy and your courage throughout this past year,
And thank you so much. I know I speak on behalf of all of the people that love you and all of the millions of people that you've never met who have been thinking of you as well, And thank you so much for sharing your insights with us today, and wish you all the best and we will have you back next year.
Sarah, You've had some extraordinary people in this chair sharing their stories this year, so thank you for letting me share mine once more.
Thanks so much, Eddie, And if you'd like to hear more from Adwena, we will have a link to her episode with me earlier this year in our show notes. We'll also have a link to her Instagram page so you can find out what she's up to. Thank you for your Company Today. If you've enjoyed this episode, then make sure you're following us because I'll be back with another exclusive guest on Stella's Something to Talk About next week