12 Tremors Before Christmas

Hey, how are you? You can be honest. Here we listen and we don't judge. Have you heard the term lifequake? Well, in this podcast, we talk about lifequakes, those unpredictable seismic shifts that in time lead to profound personal growth and empowerment. And throughout this season, you can expect heartfelt stories that reveal both the joy and the discomfort of that unexpected change. Today's episode is a little different, but I think you're gonna like it here.

My name is Sean, and this is Something Shifted. So far in this season we've explored the aftermath of life quakes like losing a parent, living with a life-threatening illness and navigating a life of special needs. Big events that permanently alter the course of a life. Along the way there are smaller shifts and shakes in each of our lives, tremors if you will, that might not completely change the destination but certainly require a bit of a detour.

So because it's that time of the year where we reflect and take stock of the past 12 months, today's episode is a compilation of 12 short stories from 12 different people who each experienced a tremor before Christmas. Plus, since so many of you have asked, I have an update on Zoe too. That's next. I lead a demanding lifestyle and I'm very guilty of wanting more for less, especially when it comes to food.

I want to feel like I'm eating restaurant food, but I don't want to leave my house and I really don't want to organize a babysitter. I want to try new flavors, but I also don't want to spend money on ingredients that I might never use again. And let's be honest, I don't want to eat the same thing over and over, but I really don't have time to think about what we're going to eat for dinner every night. You know what I mean? Well, YouCook changed all of that for us.

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I shared the story of my biggest life quake thus far, coming to terms with my daughter's diagnosis, in the very first episode of season 3. The episode is titled One Rescue Breath Changed Three Lives and it's well on its way to becoming the most listened to episode of Something Shifted, so thanks for that. But before I share the highlights of Zoe's year, I want you to hear about the tremor that rocked the life of the executive producer of Something Shifted. Tremor number one has to do with age.

I had a realization that next year you'll be 40. That's true. And age is just a number and you're as young as your spine is flexible. And I'm not subscribing to the midlife crisis genre just yet. But still there's something about living. of your 30s that I just didn't feel ready for.

This year I tried to be more creative again and I set off with a lofty goal of writing something creative every day and that was just really magical to rediscover something that was such a big part of my life in my teens and even my 20s. so deeply neglected.

And maybe I shied away from the creative writing because it requires reckoning with self and in writing poems again I had to sit with some really dark feelings and loss, concepts of loss, loss of youth, loss of friends, loss of hopefulness sometimes. But the joy of it was that it also unlocked so much more creativity that wasn't just contained to creative writing. I found myself painting again for the first time in years. I've been invited to have creative input in a podcast.

And even my academic writing has taken off. in a new way this year. So I have moved from being nervous to quite excited for my 40s. Rwanda will be 40 in March 2025. Go ahead, mark your calendar to send flowers.

We experience tremors, those ups and downs of life at varying degrees of intensity. And while Rue reckoned reconnecting with herself, so too did Carmany. The thing about creativity is that it starts out for many as a hobby, something you just do for fun. But then what happens when the thing you do for fun, say making delicious food, becomes the thing that defines you? Well, that's exactly what happened to Carmany. after she won MasterChef SA 11 years ago.

In the words of Simon Sinek, figuring out my why and to do that, I sort of had to have one foot still in food media and in entertainment and also up skill. So this year I wrote my very first cookbook, which will be out in March, 2025. And I studied a master's in psychology. As someone with an adult diagnosis of ADHD, feeling smart has not really come naturally to me. So I actually just received this yesterday that I have the masters.

To be quite honest, I don't know how I'm going to merge the world of food TV and cookbook with the psychology next step, but 2024 was about proving to myself that I was able to shine in spaces that I have never felt particularly strong in. And it allowed me to sort of dare to think of myself differently. Because winning MasterChef is quite boxing in many ways. And I hope in 2025, I am able to step out of that box and into something, and into a side of myself.

a lot more honest and validating and truthful.

few dreams were most certainly shattered in 2024, while others came true. Sam took a shot in the dark six months before it paid off. My lifelong dream was always to write a book like many copywriters and journalists I know, or to be published in book form. I've been published several times online and in magazines, but there's just something that slaps difference about being published in a book, something special and more rewarding.

And as it is with many people, I'm sure as I got older, practicality set in and my dreams fell away until I started to reach out again and grab a hold of myself almost out of desperation. So around this time last year, when I thought I had nothing left in me for the year, I wrote an essay for an upcoming anthology on 30 years of democracy. And I wrote my essay, never expected it to be published.

To me, Writing the essay felt like a bit of a shock in the dark, but I took that shot as difficult as it was to muster up the energy at the time and six months later one afternoon walked into an exclusive books with my seven-year-old son and spotted the anthology with my name in the table of contents, my byline and my essay title to have experienced that moment of being published for the first time in book form, experiencing it with my son.

I got to see him be proud of me and as a parent, that's a core memory that I'd wish on anyone. A few minutes after we found and bought the book, we went to a coffee shop next door to the exclusive books to grab a drink. And as I reached for my bank card, the emotion just overwhelmed me and I burst into tears. At the time, my son didn't really understand what had come over me.

I'd just been, I'd been all right a few seconds before, but now looking back, I noticed that whenever he gets emotional or has a similar visceral reaction to something, he reminds me of my tears and emotional overwhelm in the coffee shop. And he says he knows what that feels like now and he feels the same. I guess it was just a perfect amalgamation of luck, privilege, reward and happiness all rolled into one unforgettable moment that I'm so glad now forms a part of who I am.

Sam Herbst lives in Johannesburg with her beautiful family and among her many talents, she co-hosts the Great Equalizer podcast. The link is in the show notes.

Without fail, I start every year thinking that this will be the year of the body. You know, the year my marshmallow-y belly firms up and my biceps fill my sleeves. Maybe this year. Anyway, perhaps 2024 was a year of physical achievements for you, reaching goals like that generally mean you've made multiple sacrifices along the way. But did you nearly lose consciousness? Like Morgan? What stood out for me this year was committing to running an ultra trail race.

It was 70 kilometers from Simon's town to Cape town, three months of training. And I think the moment where something shifted for me was at the 55 kilometer mark in the race. I was broken. I'd been running for nine hours. I was at the top of a really massive peak that we needed to summit. And it was in that moment where... I actually bent down to tie my shoelaces. And as I bent up to my shoelaces, I stood up and the mountains started literally spinning around.

Luckily, there was a tree behind me. could lean back against the tree. And in that moment, I held onto the tree with the mountains turning. I was dehydrated. And I didn't think I was going to finish. Luckily, I did have somebody with me a second there. He sort of just calmed me down, made me drink some water, got some fluids in me. And I ended up making it to the finish line. after 11 hours and 45 minutes or something silly. And it was in that moment that I realized that I can do hard things.

You know, I pushed my body to a place it's never been before, completely unknown to me. And yeah, I mean, the motto for me since then has always been I can do hard things. You know, I didn't think I'd get to the finish line and I got there. I didn't go alone. I needed people around me, of course. I had my second that helped me. had two of my very close friends that helped me from minute one of the race, two minutes, 11 hours and 45 minutes to the finish line.

And I realized I can do hard things and we can't do it alone. We need people around us to help us. Morgan Newman is already talking about running a 100 kilometer race in 2025.

And just like Morgan, Magda also realized how having the right people in the right place at the right time can make hard things like a PhD bearable. From May to July 2024, I had to go and live in the UK in Coventry as part of my PhD program. And as a child-free cat lady, a homebody and someone that's super dependent on their own space and their own people. This was completely out of my comfort zone. So naturally, I spent months worrying about this beforehand.

And I was especially nervous about being away from this incredibly strong network of female friendships that I have built around me. And I rely so heavily on them for support and just overall sanity and just for getting through life. However, The experience ended up being totally transformational and not just in terms of my PhD. I connected with four other women. We traveled together to Coventry and they were from totally diverse backgrounds.

There is no reason we should be friends or connect with each other except for the fact that we are on our PhDs together. And these women became actually like sisters to me. So together we face incredibly challenging situations. One of the women lost siblings shortly before we left for Coventry, so she was still dealing with that grief. Another found out that her mother has cancer while we were there.

I received the news of a family member's suicide attempt and all the while trying to make... progress with our PhDs in another country. And I specifically remember a moment when I received news from home that wasn't very good and we were in the library and these women just embraced me and I was so overwhelmed by their unconditional support and totally selfless love.

So during these few months we lived together but we also laughed together, we cried together and we supported each other in deeply profound ways. And in these women, I saw the strength and unconditional love and support that I knew from the woman in my life back home. Totally unexpected, totally transformative. We build a tribe, community, a family. And the experience really taught me the power of diverse voices and friendships and the beauty of a genuine connection.

Mahda Barnard lives with her cat, Lily, and between weekend walks with Zoe, she's working very hard. towards completing her PhD in 2025. Long live the walls we crashed through.

Sometimes you find a tribe and connection in places you least expect it. But what if your family unit starts to splinter? It's really hard to glue splinters back together. No matter how you try, it can be difficult to find all those little pieces, let alone stick them together again. When Sean was reconnected with his uncle, he also found his long lost father. In September, my uncle was in his seventies, passed on.

What was amazing about this was the fact that just off the Women's Day in 2020, I connected with him and he got to show me what a father is, an uncle is by his compassion and care. He would call me each week, every second week and the call would last for about five minutes and it would be sort of with, hello my son, how are you? What was important about this was that he somehow reached out to my father, who had been very absent in my life.

And that started a chain of events where my father and I have reconnected now. And this has taken such a long time to get to this point, and it needed my uncle to come into the picture. And what that has done is unconsciously got me starting to help young men in our program. to connect informally, am mentoring them. And I realize it's that connection to a father figure and the loss that I'd had. And this is perhaps something that I'm offering them.

It's in its infant stage, but hopefully will be impactful and meaningful for them. Sean Dunn is the cool uncle, often hiking and exploring the wonderful connection we share with nature. Remember to give this show a five star rating on Apple podcasts or Spotify. Plus, if you leave a review, I might just read it on the podcast like this one from Ness Nacks Art. It goes, I look forward to each week's release. It's exciting to get a sneak peek into how people are thinking and what drives them.

A truly inspiring listen. Thanks so much, Ness, for leaving your review on Apple podcasts. I could be reading your review. in the next episode of Something Shifted. All right, back to the 12 tremors before Christmas.

Sometimes a tremor is external and can be recognised by others, be it health or fitness or work related. Often other people can see it in your behaviour. But sometimes tremors are yours to deal with alone. The ones that get inside your head and tell you stories that you don't want anyone else to hear. They become secrets, closely guarded, like the ones that shadowed over Nicole. This year I published two books. One I co-authored and it was called Killer Stories.

Although the run up to a book being published is always stressful and let me tell you, imposter syndrome is very real every single time. This one was different. In the book, I'd revealed some personal information about my childhood and my family of origin that I'd never shared publicly. And as I waited for this book to hit the shelves, I'd convinced myself that this was going to be a life apocalypse for me. People were going to look at me differently. They were going to judge me.

I would somehow be a different person entirely after this information had left my head. I stressed for months about this. And guess what happened? Absolutely. Nothing. People read the book. They liked the book and they got the value from it that we'd intended. Some mentioned my allegedly apocalyptic revelations in passing and others didn't even seem to remember that. But there was no nuclear fallout. I was not shunned. And I guess I realized that's my Mount Everest.

was just everyone else's molehill. And I was still Nicole. Just a few secrets lighter. Nicole Engelbrach tells compelling stories in book form and through her multi award winning podcast, True Crime South Africa. And she often works under the supervision of her cat Mufasa and her blind doggo, Chumlee.

Much like Nicole, some shifts or tremors are deeply personal and might be felt by one person alone. At least that was the case for Melissa, who works in academia. This year, a formal diagnosis, not just peer reviews, helped shine a light on the path ahead for this mom of two. At the very ripe age of 38, I was diagnosed with adult ADHD, which I had probably had all my life. and did not know. I always felt like something was not quite right.

I had day-to-day struggles that had me overcompensating regularly to keep up with the pace of others, which in turn led me to feel anxious, burnt out, and constantly fatigued. And as an academic, of course, the diagnosis was accompanied by me doing tons of research, especially from Dr. Google, might I add. And then it was followed by a whirlwind of emotion.

It felt like having weak eyesight all your life and then getting those perfectly prescribed spectacles just for you and then putting it on for the first time. So for the first time in many years, I felt seen and heard. Things started to add up and make sense. And it was so validating to know. that what I had been feeling all these years was now confirmed as real and that it hadn't just all been in my head. And the more I read and the more I spoke to people, I started to see the light.

And now I know that I will be OK. Melissa Burt is raising two adorable boys in the mother city and thoroughly enjoys holding a note at a karaoke party. I don't know about you, but being OK. is so much more than just those four letters. It's like a hug that restores your faith in the kindness of strangers and it's easy to say, okay, but knowing it, okay, changes the way you show up in the world. Walking just a little bit taller, know, stomach in, chest out, kind of taller.

We both know that change is hard, especially because it can be so exhausting. When things don't go according to plan, then need to have your wits about you and navigate those unfamiliar paths. And you need to let go of the picture that you had of where you thought you would be so that you can make sense of the map that's now in your hands. Well, Terrence and Julie had a very clear plan. They'd mapped out how they wanted the birth of their third child to go.

They already have two kids and They made a podcast about the decision process behind having a Part of that discussion was the experience of natural childbirth. We were hoping that this time she would be able to go through a VBAC, which was a vaginal birth after cesarean. We really wanted her to experience that kind of childbirth. It's something that she's always kind of wanted to experience. And I really wanted that for her. So we were really pushing for that.

And As the due date approached, we had all the signs that that VBAC was going to be possible. We were getting quite excited for it. But then the due date approached and arrived and then the due date passed and the due date kept going further and further away. And it got to a point where our doctor said that it was beginning to get dangerous for mother and child. for us to keep continuing to try for a VBAC. And so with a lot of frustration and sadness, we had to book a caesarian section.

It was booked for a Wednesday morning, early Wednesday morning. It took us a few days to get over it, a few days to kind of feel the big feelings and to get ourselves ready for child number three to arrive. And we were supposed to wake up at around 4.30 to get my wife to the hospital by six so that we could go through the whole process of getting her ready for the surgery. And then baby number three decided that was the time to arrive. So my wife went into, started to get contractions.

She went into early labor. She got to experience all of that. It did end with her needing to get a C-section in the end, but the big part of what we wanted her to experience, which was the contractions, the labor, being in the birthing suite. going through that whole process, we got to experience and all in all, baby number three arrived healthy and safely and he is now eight months old and he's just the best. Quite frankly, we no longer care how he arrived, but we're glad that he's here.

Terrence mentor is wildly creative and the most fatherly father that ever did father. His three boys and wife Julie are blessed to have Afro daddy in their lives. and be sure to have a listen to Three's a Crowd, especially if you're considering adding to your family. The link is in the show notes.

Something Shifted is about lifequakes, experiences that shake you to your core. Some of these are positive and some are received more negatively. But the reality is that we are faced with unexpected changes every single day. And for Josh, that unexpected change was part of a ripple effect. My brother passed away a week after my birthday. And it was all very sudden. had undiagnosed leukemia. As a result, he had a stroke. Or what they said was blood on the brain.

So I got the call from his wife on Wednesday morning and he passed away on Thursday. Everything all at once, just the shock of him suddenly passing away and the whole idea that He didn't even know that he had leukemia when they did his blood count They realized that it was his blood was far too thick which is what caused the stroke in a way We all knew that he was sick.

You could see it like if you go and you look at his pictures you could see that he was sick and Last I saw him he was walking with the limp and he was very much anti medicine and anti pharmacies and Doctors and whatever so he just never got himself checked up on by any doctors or whatever and he was really into homeopathy so he would try to treat the symptoms and one of the symptoms was this limp that he had and for most of us we were

kind of like well it's been like that for such a long time I mean I don't even remember when he started feeling like when it may have started could have been 10 years ago obviously grief is something that hits you in waves and you can't You can't forecast how it's going to be. So when I came back to Cape Town after the funeral, I was at sixes and sevens. I was feeling all kinds of ways and it was hard for me to get back into work.

I'd lost a lot of momentum and it was hard for me to be creative and my work is creative. Like 95 % of what I do is creative work. yeah, getting back to my sense of equilibrium was really difficult. for at least the first two months after. And yeah, and even talking about it now, it's like, yeah, it's just, everything just replaying in my mind of how it went. Josh Prinsloo experienced tremor upon tremor this year, welcoming his second child into the world. A year of seismic shifts, for sure.

I've been trying to do the math and I think I first came across the work Ross was doing about nine, maybe ten years ago. He attracted a lot of attention with his blend of origami and stop animation over the years. His origami had gotten so popular that a friend had quipped, you're like everywhere, like white on rice. And that's how the name for his freelance business took shape. Unlike many of us though, Ross has made friends with change.

and has embraced pushing the boundaries of what can be done creatively with artificial intelligence. Essentially, I was a freelance, freelance animator and freelance creative doing my thing. But for the longest time, I'd always wanted to be part of a company where it wasn't just me. And I was always trying to reach out to people that I was hoping could become that person for me, someone that could.

potentially mentor me, someone who was already successful, someone who had access to a larger network, someone who had access to money. And in doing that, I was actively trying to manifest that and create that for myself. And as my journey continued this year, I moved into the AI space where I trained creatives on how to use AI. Out of the blue, my old boss approached me. Long story short, we ended up starting a company together called Zen Robot.

And we... are essentially trying to take on the AI space in South Africa and who knows, globally as well. For me that was a pivotal moment in realising once again that if you put intention out there to try and create something for yourself, the manifestation of it might come in some random way, shape or form. Ross Simmons, white on rice, recently became a dad for the first time too. What a year.

Health is wealth, my friends. We often take it for granted. When you love someone, whether human or pet, their wellbeing is vitally important. The earth shook when Gathony's dog ate a bone too quickly. And so I took him to the hospital. I told the doctor about it and we decided to do an x-ray. When we checked, his spine was fine, his pelvic bones were fine, but we found an enlarged heart. And so luckily, because we got it earlier, there was no complications and he has to be on medicine.

I mean, every day we have to take two pills. But it's very interesting to me how we got to it, because if he had never eaten the bone weird and started bleeding in his butt, we'd never have found out that he actually has an enlarged heart. And all the doctors tell me that it's a good thing to catch early because otherwise all other organs start to fill with fluids. So it was actually earth shattering when it happened.

but it worked out and the medicine is doing well and he's really cute and happy so he's back to normal, nothing to worry about. Katharine Ngunba lives in Kenya with her adorable doggo, Oscar. He's doing really well by the way.

you an update on Zoe. So as Ru and I approach year nine of parenting Zoe, it's really wonderful to reflect on the things that have shifted for her. All she wants to do these days is move. And we've seen her move more and more independently this year than any other. We're also really fortunate to be able to purchase two mobility aids for her in 2024, a walker as well as a transfer belt. both of which support her body weight just that much more while she moves.

And the physiotherapist has even shifted the goalposts a little and is aiming for Zoe to take one or two independent steps in the next 12 months. Talk about unlocking a whole new world of possibilities. Yeah, be sure to check in with us and see how that's going, because baby-proofing a house, never done that before. Anyway. Being still is such a beautiful thing. Still long enough to realize that you're vibrating on a frequency that is just outside of your zone of genius.

Being still, the way Zereta spoke about it in previous episode, allows us to go within and reconnect with ourselves. The end of a year is often when we try and reflect, but I know I'm really guilty of doing it really flippantly. So I want to encourage us both to prioritize getting still and taking stock of all that we have survived. We can do hard things, but we can't do them alone. And may we be aware enough to help others tackle their hard things too.

We're starting the Shift Club and I want to invite you to be the first to join. We're planning perks, some merch, and a chance to connect with people like you and me. The link is in the show notes. Follow something shifted on Apple podcasts or your favorite podcast player and be sure to share this episode with your friends and family. And remember to use my code, hashshift50, at checkout when you place your order on youcook.co.za and you'll get 50 % off. your first order.

can find me on Instagram at SeanLewitz and my mailing list is 321 shift out every second Sunday. Gives you three things for your mind, two things for your body and one thing for your soul. Plus a few little fun surprises along the way. Links to all of the shows and books and things I mentioned throughout this episode are in the show notes. As always, a very big thank you to my executive producer, my wife, Ruwenda Lewitz and to you for always believing in possibilities.

My name is Sean and this is Something Shifted. See you in two weeks. Bye.