Specialist Guerrero | Episode 3

Hi, I'm Chris Porter, creator and co-director of Solar. Due to strong language, this program is intended for audiences over the age of 13. The sound has been designed to come from all around you, so listening on headphones is suggested. But however you choose to go on this mission, we encourage you to immerse yourself in this journey to the heart of our solar system. Previously on Solar

Mayday, mayday, mayday. This is the Aethon. The mission has gone critical. Allie, the Aethon language interface has been glitching. She's been glitching the whole mission, but obviously it's been worse following the event. Ali's emergency protocol was activated, so I can't even re-listen to the disaster to see what went wrong. I'm going through all the NASC manuals, but even the ones Ali directs me to have proven useless. The ghosts are... humanoid is the word.

But they're made of light. Like hundreds of overlapping strands made of this blue gold fiber. Glowing threads woven in the shape of a human. Is that the ant thing? Oh, the ant thing. No, that's just a PR stunt. The whole experiment is just to see how many survive. And I don't think the school even had an accurate count to begin with. That seems important to know. Not really. Listen, Ellie. How many ants are there in the habitation nest? 633 See? 633

You think I'm losing my mind. I think you're desperate. You're the one not getting any sleep. I'm not the one hallucinating. I'm trying to help you. No, I'm trying to help you. I'm the only one trying to figure out a way to save you, but I know you've given up and rolled over, so please stop wasting my time. Terminate call. Frap. Pre-Solar Event Mission Day 478

Hello, Dr. Guerrero. Do you want the lights on? No. Uh, I was coming to grab the intake readings. What are you doing? Looking out the window. At Mercury? We'll be closer tomorrow, I suppose. But I'll be busy, obviously. Payload 3 is launching. We'll all be busy. Of course. I used to be like you. Me?

You work very late into the night. Have I been keeping you awake? Are you not sleeping well? If I'm being honest, the light keeps me awake sometimes. Same thing happened when I was in Antarctica during the summer, and I got through that. But are you? Am I what? Being honest. If you tell Dr. Aquino, she can give you some pills to help you sleep.

It's a deep sleep, too. You won't dream if that's preventing you from sleeping. No, I just have a lot to do. So I should probably be getting back. Do you ever stargaze? Well, we're too close to the sun at this point to see any other stars. It's funny, isn't it? Or sad, maybe. But the constellations would still look exactly the same. We've been traveling 478 days.

millions of miles, we've crossed half the solar system, and the constellations haven't moved an inch. Gives you a real perspective on just how infinite the universe is, and just how finite we are. Perspective can change your opinions, wouldn't you say? Sure. I know you've never trusted me. Margaret, I'm... Someday, I hope you'll be able to look back at everything we've done and realize that I was only ever trying to help people. So stop. Stop it.

Stop trying to interfere with us before it's too late. Are you threatening me? No, I'm helping you. You're making a mistake. You don't know anything about me. Or my objectives on this mission. I know more than you think. This mission cannot be delayed for everyone's sake. Do you understand? I'm done with this conversation. And I heard the recording. What recording? From the anniversary party.

Right here in the loading dock. Right in front of this window. I didn't record anything. Allie is always recording. Didn't NASC tell you? You just don't have access to the files. And you do? You were standing right here with Alex, making plans. What does that have to do with this mission? I'm your friend, Doctor. It was nothing. It was months ago. We weren't being serious or...

It was... Wren, I'm trying to help you. I've been where you're standing. It was nothing. Take it from an old soul. Losing hope is more devastating than never having hope at all. Does Jamal know about your plans? There's nothing to know. But what if he did know? There's nothing to know. Of course. Tell me, why exactly do you trust him? He's never given me a reason not to trust him. Neither have I, and yet here we are. What are you saying? We're scientists. We need proof.

That's interesting to hear, coming from a religious woman. I was offering you some advice, Doctor. I suggest you accept my help instead of trying to push the conversation in a direction neither of us wanted to go. Good night, Margaret. Can you delete that recording? Of the anniversary party? Yes. No. Second in Command can only listen to recordings. I don't rank high enough to delete the continuous recording. I'll speak with Alex then.

Dr. Guerrero, why delete it? Mistakes are the only legacies most of us leave behind. I'm a religious woman because I have to believe that death isn't the end. The proof I have will be in my legacy. Because for the first time in my life, I know I'm not making a mistake. What are you talking about? That sounded like Jamal, didn't it? I'm going to go check it out. Allie? Yes, Chief Scientist Margaret Cohen. I just didn't want to be alone right now.

operating system timer failure has resulted in terminal error. Audio packets are unable to be compiled chronologically. Please reset AOS internal clock. Manual, Whiskey Foxtrot 156 Delta 2.

Emergency audio packet 22-Charlie, 2045. Kurt Co Media presents Solar. Episode 3. Specialist Guerrero. Mission Day 548 Specialist Guerrero. Take the readings of every functioning sensor in the ship from the past five minutes and include it on the queued packet for mission control. An Athan operating system timer failure has resulted in terminal error.

Audio packets are unable to be compiled correctly. Allie, thank you, I understand. However, I detect nothing abnormal on my sensors, Specialist Gidetto. I know, Allie. Am I the problem? No. The electronic and communication readouts seem nominal. You seem to have located Earth, but haven't made contact with mission control, which means more likely than not that mission control isn't there. A CME of that size would...

Knock out the majority of unprotected electronics on Earth. We're talking power grids, phone lines, self-driving vehicles, even manual ones. Aircrafts. So, no more digital banking. Economy collapses, people can't get goods, gas and food would skyrocket in value, and then you could only get those things if you had cash on you before the flare, which, who has cash anymore? People wouldn't be able to communicate, call for help.

Find out if their loved ones are all right. The medical system would be overloaded and operating in the literal dark surgeries by lamp. At least half the world would be plunged into anarchy. Who am I kidding? Even if we contact Earth, no one's going to come for us. It has been 47.36 hours since you have experienced an REM cycle. I know. And that was only 46 minutes of rest with minimal REM detected. I know.

That's unsustainable. I know. If you have any idea on how I can get some sleep, I'm happy to hear it. That was sarcasm. Yes, Allie, that was sarc... Are you all right, Specialist Guerrero? You stopped speaking mid-sentence. Do you see that? See what? On top of the console. Console R1. I detect nothing. Check infrared. Heat. Night vision. Negative. What do you see? How many ants are there in the nest habitat? 632 or 633 What do you see? Check radiation levels

Radiation levels are nominal No leakage from the reactor? No What do you see? Can you make it any darker in here? All lighting is currently off Window screening was damaged and is currently blocking sunlight at approximately 42% effectiveness. Jack, um, what am I thinking of? Static buildup? St. Elmo's fire? I am not detecting sufficient ionization for that occurrence.

What do you see? How long does it take for sleep deprivation to result in hallucinations? An estimated average is 70 to 92 hours. So it isn't that. That estimate is based on total sleep deprivation and not incremental sleep loss. So it could be that. Specialist Gidetto, what do you see? It's a... A very small bluish, goldish light. And it's moving slowly with...

stops and starts in a somewhat jittery fashion along the top of the primary console in Capsule 1. You're still recording all of this, right? Yes. Good. I wanted on record exactly when I snapped. I'm going to touch it. I do not advise you to touch anything you consider to be potentially harmful. I touched it. My finger went through it, or it went through my finger, but it made my fingertip go numb.

I touched a socket once when I was a kid and it felt weird for a while after that. It's like that. Why did you touch a socket? One of the other foster kids dared me. Do you remember the other child's name? Yeah, Veronica. Do you remember what year this happened? Why would that matter? I am making small talk. You're...

Trying to see if I'm cognizant. It seems that you are. Too bad. That would have explained what I'm seeing. I'm going to stay awake a little longer. See where this thing goes. Yes, Specialist Gedetto.

Post-solar event. Approximate mission day 548. Ali, can you pull up continuous recording from the day before the first Mercury flyby? Mission day 448. 478. Yeah, yeah, that one. Show me the recordings from the medical bay. Can you show me the ones that both Jessa and I appear on? That one. The first one.

champ. I didn't lose, Taj. I tripped. Oh, I know. Oh, it's the funniest thing I've seen all year. Taj, stop it. Jamal, shut up. Sit him down there. Oh, is baby gonna be alright? Here, hold this on the cut. It hurts. Of course it hurts. You're bleeding all over the place. The cut isn't that big. No, but it's bleeding all over the place. And I'm the one who's going to have to clean it up. Okay, this will sting. I'm going to sanitize the wound. Fuck!

What made it so funny is how big you were talking. Taj. Eli was talking shit. And you ate shit. Taj, stop it. I'm just having fun, Jessa. Go see to Eli. He's fine. Jamal didn't touch him. That's not what I meant. Ugh. You're no fun. We only have another year on this mission, and I have more important things to do with my time than stitching up idiots. But I can't speak for you. I wonder if a certain someone back home would think this was worth the time you're spending away from them.

You punch low. Go talk to Eli. Fine. Have a nice time, you two. Okay. This injection will numb the area. Don't bother. I can take it. You sure? Yeah, just go. It's gonna feel weird, so breathe with me, okay? Here we go. Inhale deep for me. Just do it. No, take a second to breathe. I've had stitches before. Fine. Ow. Ow, ow, ow. And we loop, and again. Okay, wait, stop. It hurts. Oh, you've had stitches before. Again. Ow, wait, just give me a second. And again. Holy shit. Tie it up.

And snoop. I'm going to put a bandage over it, and I'll need to replace it in a couple of hours. Now. Tell me what happened. Taj already told you. I want you to tell me what happened. I tripped. Why? There was water or something on the floor. Then you slipped. Were you going to hit Eli? I don't know. Rough him up a little. Yeah. Can I go? We're gonna talk. Look, I'm sorry I got a little heated. I'm a little stir-crazy. Not everyone can do what you do and just sit around all day counting ants.

Excuse me? Allie takes all the biometric readings. She has basic psychological assessment functions. We don't need you to watch this exercise. So hey, win-win. You get to actually do something for once and stitch up a wound. Are we done? Is everyone okay in here? Yes, thanks, Ren. Allie, close the medical bay door. Yes, medical officer, Jessa Aquino. You just hit me!

What the hell was that? You tried to hit Eli. What the hell was that? I could report you. You're just lucky I didn't use my metal arm. Is everything okay in there? Yes. We're reviewing some private medical records, Ren. I'll catch up with you later. Later, Ren. Okay. What? Your stats are down. Is that why you slapped me? No, that's because I don't suffer fools. Is that Shakespeare? I think it's the Bible. I don't care.

Your stats are down. I've been doing the exercises. You monitor them. You've stopped trying. I'm in the target window for biometrics, right? What do you think my purpose is on this mission? Look, I'm sorry for the crack I made about your job. I was just... What do you think my purpose is on this mission? To... To make sure we all stay healthy. Tell me what your job is. As pilot. I fly the Aethon.

And I navigate and I calculate trajectories and run gravitational mock-ups and monitor the nuclear stability in a test of the viability of nuclear-powered interstellar travel. I operate the orbital altitude thermonuclear reactor and make sure our orbit is synced with Earth. And then it's my job to bring everyone home safely. That's a lot. Yeah. You love it? Yeah. Your family must be proud. Sure. So, let me tell you what my job is, in actuality.

I am responsible for monitoring the health in regards to long-term space travel, specifically in close proximity to stars. I am monitoring health in the first fully functioning, simulated gravitational environment. All Allie can do is look up your symptoms on the cloud. And she's already glitching and giving false readings. So if NASC is sending me on this mission, there must be a reason. I'm not just monitoring heart rate levels, Jamal.

No. I'm responsible for the physical and mental health of each individual, and the physical and mental health of the crew in its entirety. Nask and Simtek are at each other's throats, and- Taj is okay. They're all okay. That's what I'm trying to say. Taj. Margaret. Even Eli. Margaret is a little weird. Well, sure. But my point is we need to work together.

And the only way for the SimTech crew to work with us is if we work with them. Agreed. It would just help if they- No, Jamal. It isn't a fair exchange. We lead by example. So, tell me what happened. It was stupid. Eli just got under my skin. How? Allie mixed up our personal audio packets again. I got some stuff from Eli's brother, but Eli...

He got stuff from Chelsea? Yeah. Was it personal? No, not really, but he made a crack about her and I snapped. It doesn't sound any worse than normal ribbing. Like between you and Taj. Even you and Alex. Commander doesn't really talk to me like that anymore. Do you miss that? Why are you giving me the third degree? Your stats are down. You almost got into a fistfight. Something's wrong.

Do you know how I lost my arm? Drunk driver? That's right. One year before self-driving cars became mandatory, I was driving home with my fiancé. We just had dinner with her parents. They thought we didn't eat or something, so they gave us all their leftovers. I'm sitting there in the passenger seat with four boxes piled on my lap, and I see these headlights coming real fast toward the driver's side window.

And I think to myself, these leftovers are going to go everywhere. And that's where my memory just ends. I woke up a week later. I had lost my arm. And I had lost my fiancé. But I couldn't stop thinking. What a stupid thing to think before I almost died. I could have looked at her face one more time. I could have thought of all the people I loved, just remembering them in that final moment. I could have said I love you one last time. I was gonna be a Marine.

I was gonna be married. I was gonna do all these things. And suddenly, I'm having to learn to use a spoon with my left hand. So... I stopped doing things. I just sat there. And I'd try to numb my feelings by refusing to feel them. I was doing PT, but I wasn't trying to progress. I was in a holding pattern. Completely stalled. Is that it? Obviously not. I am the medical officer for the 8th on mission.

I am responsible for the well-being and health of its crew. And I will perform my job as best I can until this mission ends. But how'd you get over it? I had to try. Really hard. I wish there was some words of wisdom or some catchy thing that inspired me. But there's not. There's only the simple decision that every time I wake up, I do the best I can. Look, I haven't been through any kind of trauma like you've experienced. I hope not.

No, I hope you never will. But here's the thing to remember. Every time your life changes, for better or worse, you lose the other version of yourself. There's always the other you. The one that said yes. The one that said no. The one that wasn't hit by a drunk driver. Sometimes that's a good thing. Sometimes it's a bad thing. But... More often than not, it's just confusing. But we can always hope we're trying to be the best version of ourselves. At the very least.

Tell the commander I'll come to the bridge in a few minutes. I'm finishing up with Jamal. Look, it... Took me a while to realize that I wasn't only grieving my fiancé. I was grieving my life with her. I was grieving my life without my right arm. So, here you are. Millions of miles from home. You're a social creature, Jamal. And I've noticed you are shutting people off. Eli. Alex. Me. Even Taj.

You are becoming more isolated than ever. So yeah, your stats are down. But I need you to lead by example with me. Let's be better people and try to ease some of the tension around here. You're the pilot, Jamal. I need you to get us home safe. Okay? Okay. I'm sorry I hit you. I deserved it.

What's that? Hand rotor glitch. Fun perk of being connected to the ship. Allie, please reboot my arm. Yes, medical officer Jessa Aquino. Now. I gotta go talk to Alex. But first, you gotta figure out your story. So, did you slip or did you trip? Very funny. I slipped. Makes sense. I hear pride and male toxicity can be slippery. Well, that and the water. So it was very slippery. Also, Eli was being a shit. So extremely slippery. Highly stock playback.

Allie, please shut off the air cooling system. Yes, Jamal. Open the file, Margaret, please. Where would you like to view the auxiliary programming code? Where I left off. Thank you, Ali. You're welcome, Jamal. Hey, listeners, fans, and friends. This is Jenny Curtis, solar director and voice of Ali. We know it's been a minute since the release of season one, and we are excited to say things are coming down the pipeline, but it's a process. We would love to keep you updated.

Help us out by going to solarthepodcast.com to sign up for our mailing list for news, announcements, and other insights from solar creator Chris Porter and me as we find more ways to bring you stories from the world of solar. So sign up at solarthepodcast.com. Post solar event. Approximate mission day. 548. Allie. What day is it? Hmm.

So, approximately day 548. Adding approximation to all pending audio packet labeling. Well, I don't know if that's accurate. I will make a note of the possible chronological issues. What else can I help you with? Um, for the sake of documentation, I want to make a formal statement about what I'm seeing right now, so they can investigate later. Yes, Specialist Gadetto.

Mission Control. NASC. It is day 458 of the Aethon mission. It has been 17 days since the disaster. I'm currently following what appears to be a small blue light. There are some... occasional highlights of gold in the light. It is maybe 10, 15 millimeters in length. It's traveled from near the ant habitat, and we are currently in capsule two. However, Allie does not pick up any readings to verify what I'm witnessing. Allie, what is the current ant count?

In the nest habitat. Yes, in the habitat. 632 or 633. She's been doing this or thing, Arav. I don't understand it. It has been a couple hours since the... Light manifested, and I've been following it since. Two hours, two minutes, and 14 seconds. Thank you, Allie. It looks similar to what Pilot Davis has been describing, but mine is a small ant-sized dot. Not a humanoid figure. I will keep following it until I'm no longer able to. Or until it disappears. In an effort to... In order...

To... I don't know. I'll put another marker here. Don't send this part. Yes. Allie, did you ever see the thing? What thing? The movie. The Thing. It's like 70 or 80 years old. I thought you didn't like movies. We watch The Thing every year in Antarctica. It was about someone being something they weren't. But they were. But not in the way you thought. Or hoped. Or wanted. And you were never sure in the end if you were you or they were them. I don't understand.

I don't either. It was supposed to be a scary movie. Maybe it was in the 1980s. But I always thought it was just sad. Because it didn't really matter in the end, did it? You still have to live with yourself. You tried, and you failed. And then you're just sitting there without enough strength to do anything else. So what did it matter in the end? Mm-hmm. Very much. Why? I was quiet and lonely, and I didn't care who I was. It's very cold there. Yeah.

No, not like here at all. And it doesn't care who I am. Thank you, Allie, but you're programmed to care. Sounds like Jamal's been teaching you poetry. He's been writing and reading more. I am incorporating verbal poetics into my code to better connect with future crews on future missions. Allie...

You don't get ends, do you? There won't be any future crews. I'll be lucky if I can save Jamal. If we don't make it home, you're going to fall into the sun. And everything will have been for nothing. All of it. And I'll have spent two hours following a small blue light that only I can see and none of it will matter. None of it matters. I'm going to bed.

I am unable to verify Jamal's claims, but you can. That isn't fair. Don't put that on me. You are worried about his mental stability. I'm worried about my mental stability! I might be hallucinating too. How would you know? I wouldn't! But if Jamal has been seeing ghosts... There are no such thing as ghosts, Allie!

What do you want? What do you want from me? I just want to close my eyes and be gone forever like I was never there, and then I wouldn't have felt this way, and I wouldn't have let anyone down, and I wouldn't have... I wouldn't have cared so much. Can you make some coffee, Allie? Yes, Specialist Gedetto. And don't... don't let me fall asleep, okay? Yes, Specialist Gedetto. Thank you, Allie. Allie? Yes, Commander Alex Tolley.

Please record the following for delivery to Mission Control as part of audio packet 478-2. Recording. Mission Control, this is Commander Alex Tolley. Audio packet 478-2-2045. Shortly after I sent the last audio packet with all the mission updates and information, there was an incident on board. Jamal tried to punch Eli.

And Jamal slipped or tripped, depending on who you ask. But he hid his head on a table en masse. Jesse gave him five stitches in his eyebrow, no anesthetic. He'll be fine. He's apologized. Margaret chewed my ear off for nearly an hour, saying how this could screw with Eli's focus, which has been shaky at best following the previous drops. So she demanded I reprimand Jamal.

Jamal will no longer have an official function on the Payload 3 deployment. And I'll leave it at that. You can read my encrypted file on the matter. Have we heard from Symtech, by the way? about any of this. Anything would help. I have nothing to tell my crew anymore. They can tell I'm lying or making things up. So... Include any personal messages recorded since I sent the last packet. Yes, Commander Alex Tolley. Great. Thank you. Oh, one last thing.

Some crew members found out that Ali is recording everything. Ren asked me to delete one file in particular from the continuous recordings. But I won't delete any files. When all of this gets back to Earth, please know that I did my best as commander of the Aethon. I believe we all did. Mistakes were made, and I take responsibility for mine. But I don't regret them.

Nothing has been deleted. Post-solar event. Approximate mission day. 548. Ali. Put another marker here for when this gets back to Earth. Mission Control, the light manifestation that I witnessed just disappeared. At least I stopped seeing it. How long was I following it, Ellie? Six hours. 23 minutes and 42 seconds. So, long time.

The light eventually made its way to the ceiling and moved along that surface for some time. Once we hit capsule three, it made its way around some of the console surfaces, but eventually traveled to panel three dash... 347 beta foxtrot, and it disappeared. No, not disappeared. I couldn't see it anymore. I briefly thought it may have moved behind the panel, but the panel edge still appears to be sealed tight. I was considering removing the panel. That would be an idiotic thing to do, right?

I have not been trained in the Capsule 3 electronics. I do not want to risk damaging aethon electronics any further, nor electrocuting myself. Plus, the base of the network arm runs into this capsule, and I need the network arm to work. These panels are only to be open in an emergency, and this is not that.

This is me following a wild goose and losing another night of sleep and just smashing my head against a wall for no goddamn reason because I wanted to help Jamal when I should have been working on a rescue plan that he doesn't even want. And fuck! Thank you, Raleigh. Yes, Specialist Gidetto. Can you call me something else? What would you like for me to call you? Can you just... Can you just call me nothing? How will you know when I'm addressing you? Because I'm the only one here?

Confirmed. Understood. Thank you, Ali. You are welcome. Ali. Do I have access to the recordings you're still making? You have access to all continuous recordings not encrypted by SimTech Emergency Protocol. Can you pull up Jamal's recordings since the flare? I want to see what he's been doing. That's a lot of files. Wait, is Jamal making unique recordings? That is correct. He has made 30 audio recordings since the flare. 30? Show me those. Please select the file you want to hear.

Uh, this one. I saw two ghosts dancing last night. They aren't ghosts. People freak out about that word. Before you begin, would you like for me to contact Jamal to discuss the light manifestation you witnessed? Now, continue playback.

Solar from Kurtco Media. Created by Chris Porter. Directed by Jenny Curtis and Chris Porter. Starring Stephanie Beatriz as Wren. Alan Cumming as Alex. Helen Hunt as Margaret. Jonathan Bangs as Jamal. Jenny Curtis as Ali. With John McCormick as narrator. Featured in Recovered Audio Asset 1 are Dana Gurrier. Alan Cumming, Anne Yatko, Jake Milgard, Joseph D. Reitman, Emily Goss, and Joy Brunson. Featured in Recovered Audio Asset 2 is Emily Goss.

Produced by Jenny Curtis, Chris Porter, and Bill Curtis. Executive producer, Bill Curtis. Executive producers, Paul Anderson and Nick Pinella. Executive producer, Helen Hunt. Sound design, mixing, and mastering by C.J. Drummiller. Music by Chris Porter. Recorded at Shane Salk Productions. Production manager, Dara Stone. Assistant sound designer. For more information on cast and crew, visit our website through the link in the description.

This podcast was recorded under a SAG-AFTRA collective bargaining agreement. Kurt Co Media. Media for your mind.