¶ Finding Solace in Grief and Faith
Welcome to Solace: Soul plus Grief . We are brought to you by Catholic Cemetery in San Jose , California . My name is Candee Lucas . The death of a loved one is a huge life transition and we are learning it creates and affects so many other losses in our lives .
So we at Catholic Cemeteries want to offer you this place to grieve and find where God is moving in your life as you grieve .
Each week we take a new scripture or reflection and seek to find a quiet place in our hearts , together to contemplate our losses , honor our loved ones , remember God's place in our hearts and seek to make a continuing connection with those we've lost . We know it can seem unending and long .
We also know it will change along the way and sometimes come back on itself . So we urge you to look at past episodes to see if there's something we've said previously that might be of use to you .
We want to find that space where God is moving with us in our grief , that space where mourning can be transformed to comfort , a place where our hearts might be reopened and begin to mend , a place where tears can flow .
For it is when we open our hearts that we realize that we've made a new space--f or more love and more compassion and for more humanity and more space for God in our lives . This is the space that we hope Solace will begin to fill for you . Please join us if you are suffering or just want to spend more time having God move with you in your grief .
You are always welcome here in our circle of healing , love and support . Grief comes to all . It comes to families . It comes to people living alone . It comes to people living in the forest and in the desert and in big cities and on farms and in temples , because it is such a universal experience .
I often turn to other cultures to understand the way that they grieve , and it's very similar to the way that we grieve in the West . A lot of you may have heard of Thich Nhat Hanh . He was a well-known Zen teacher who died a couple of years ago , and he wrote many , many books about mindfulness and peace .
One of my favorite books of his is "How to Live When a Loved One Dies . So I thought we might take our start there today with some of his words and see how it matches up with the words of God , because he also wrote a book called Going Home .
Jesus and Buddha as Brothers , because what the two religions Christianity and Buddhism share is suffering and the healing of suffering . The ideas of getting to healing may be slightly different , but the goal is the same And we should take lessons wherever we can find them .
So I want to start with one of his poems and I may have used this before , so if it sounds familiar , it's okay , because its message is still good . It's called a 'Free white cloud': Now you are free . The chains can no longer confine your true body . You return to your life as a white cloud , just like before .
A white cloud , utterly free in the immense sky . And then he follows that with the little reflection that that is called . "Nothing dies . Everything transforms . Before the cloud appeared in the sky , it existed in another form , as mist , ocean , rain or river . If we look deeply into the nature of a cloud , we see that a cloud can't die .
It can't pass from a state of being into a state of non-being . A cloud can become rain or snow or ice , but it can't become nothing . So if the sky is clear , it doesn't mean that your cloud has died . It continues on in other forms . How can our loved one die ? Everything arises in dependence on everything else . There's no beginning or ending .
There's no creation , no destruction of anything at all . This is true of the entire universe . Billions and billions of conditions have come together for us to manifest in this form . When different conditions arise , we will manifest in a different form . Do not get caught in the form . Do not get caught in signs .
Learn to look with eyes of sinlessness and see your cloud in its new forms , in the rain , in the river , in your tea . If you have lost someone and if you have cried so very much , please look deeply and recognize that the true nature of your beloved is the nature of no birth and no death , no coming and no going .
-- Another reflection called-- 'Your loved one will always be with you' . --If you establish yourself in the present moment and touch the present moment deeply , you could gain deep insight into who you are . If I am really in touch with myself , i discover that at the same time , i am the sun , i am a cloud , i am the earth .
A river , a mountain , a squirrel , a tree . Everything is in everything else , (and the Jesuits remind us of this fact) . If you took the mountain out of me , I would no longer be here . If you took the cloud out of me , I would not be here either , because I am all these things . I am the cloud , the squirrel , the deer , the mountain .
I am my loved one . You cannot take my loved one out of me . This is the insight of interbeing that I can touch when I touch the present moment deeply . When you touch the one , you touch the all .
If you can see yourself as a leaf , as a flower , as a beautiful cloud in the sky , you will easily understand that you have never been born , you have not come from nowhere and you will never die And you can never be without the ones you love . Because when it rains we think there's no sunshine , but above the clouds the sun shines brightly in the blue sky .
-- Consider these words , along with Psalm 139 . "Lord , you have probed me , you know me , you know when I sit and stand . You understand my thoughts from afar , my travels and my rest . You mark with all my ways . You are familiar Even before a word is on my tongue . Lord , you know it all . Behind and before , you encircle me and rest your hand upon me .
Such knowledge is beyond me , far too lofty for me to reach . Where can I hide from your spirit , from your presence ? Where can I flee If I ascend to the heavens , you are there . If I lie down in shawl , you are there too . If I fly with the wings of dawn and the light beyond the sea , even there your hand will guide me .
Your right hand hold me fast If I say surely , darkness shall hide me and night shall be my light . Darkness is not dark for you , and night shines as the day . Darkness and light are but one . You formed my inmost being .
¶ God's Wonderful Designs
You knit me in my mother's womb . I understand you so wonderfully . You made me . Wonderful are your works , my very self . You knew My bones were not hidden from you When I was being made in secret , fashioned as in the depths of the earth . Your eyes foresaw my actions . In your book all are written down . My days were shaped before one came to be .
How precious to me are your designs , O, God . How vast the sum of them . Were I to count , they would outnumber the sands . To finish , I would need eternity . Prod me , God . Know my heart , try me , know my concerns , see if my way is crooked , then lead me in the ancient paths . " That brings to a close another episode . A new one drops every Friday .
Please support us by subscribing to this podcast on Google Podcasts , Apple , Amazon Music , Spotify and the Facebook pages of Gate of Heaven Cemetery in Los Altos , California , or Calvary Cemetery in San Jose , California . I am Candee Lucas , the Aftercare Coordinator for Catholic Cemeteries , a spiritual director and chaplain .
You can reach us at the email or phone number in the show notes . We welcome suggestions for future episodes or reach out to us for one-on-one spiritual direction , either individually or as a family . As you travel through grief , stay safe , be gentle with yourself and travel with God . Vaya con Dios .