What I Learned About Grief from Thich Nhat Hanh - podcast episode cover

What I Learned About Grief from Thich Nhat Hanh

Jul 07, 202313 minSeason 2Ep. 29
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Losing a loved one is never easy, and the journey through grief can leave us feeling lost and disconnected.  I invite you to join me as we explore the healing process through the lens of both Christianity and Buddhism, drawing upon teachings from Thich Nhat Hanh and Psalm 139.

As we delve into Thich Nhat Hanh's writings, we'll discover the common ground between Christianity and Buddhism in their shared goal of alleviating suffering and promoting healing. Through reflections on the impermanence of life and the enduring nature of love, we'll find comfort in knowing that our connections with those we've lost continue to exist in new forms.

Be sure to subscribe to this podcast on Google Podcasts, Apple, Amazon Music, Spotify, or follow us on the Facebook pages of Gate of Heaven Cemetery in Los Altos, California, or Calvary Cemetery in San Jose, California.

SPIRITUAL DIRECTION WHILE GRIEVING IS AVAILABLE FREE OF CHARGE

You can reach us at: [email protected]
To arrange personal spiritual direction:  408-359-5542


Our theme music is:  Gentle Breeze by Yeti Music from the album "Uppbeat".
Additional Music today by:   via Pixabay

Transcript

Finding Solace in Grief and Faith

Candee

Welcome to Solace: Soul plus Grief . We are brought to you by Catholic Cemetery in San Jose , California . My name is Candee Lucas . The death of a loved one is a huge life transition and we are learning it creates and affects so many other losses in our lives .

So we at Catholic Cemeteries want to offer you this place to grieve and find where God is moving in your life as you grieve .

Each week we take a new scripture or reflection and seek to find a quiet place in our hearts , together to contemplate our losses , honor our loved ones , remember God's place in our hearts and seek to make a continuing connection with those we've lost . We know it can seem unending and long .

We also know it will change along the way and sometimes come back on itself . So we urge you to look at past episodes to see if there's something we've said previously that might be of use to you .

We want to find that space where God is moving with us in our grief , that space where mourning can be transformed to comfort , a place where our hearts might be reopened and begin to mend , a place where tears can flow .

For it is when we open our hearts that we realize that we've made a new space--f or more love and more compassion and for more humanity and more space for God in our lives . This is the space that we hope Solace will begin to fill for you . Please join us if you are suffering or just want to spend more time having God move with you in your grief .

You are always welcome here in our circle of healing , love and support . Grief comes to all . It comes to families . It comes to people living alone . It comes to people living in the forest and in the desert and in big cities and on farms and in temples , because it is such a universal experience .

I often turn to other cultures to understand the way that they grieve , and it's very similar to the way that we grieve in the West . A lot of you may have heard of Thich Nhat Hanh . He was a well-known Zen teacher who died a couple of years ago , and he wrote many , many books about mindfulness and peace .

One of my favorite books of his is "How to Live When a Loved One Dies . So I thought we might take our start there today with some of his words and see how it matches up with the words of God , because he also wrote a book called Going Home .

Jesus and Buddha as Brothers , because what the two religions Christianity and Buddhism share is suffering and the healing of suffering . The ideas of getting to healing may be slightly different , but the goal is the same And we should take lessons wherever we can find them .

So I want to start with one of his poems and I may have used this before , so if it sounds familiar , it's okay , because its message is still good . It's called a 'Free white cloud': Now you are free . The chains can no longer confine your true body . You return to your life as a white cloud , just like before .

A white cloud , utterly free in the immense sky . And then he follows that with the little reflection that that is called . "Nothing dies . Everything transforms . Before the cloud appeared in the sky , it existed in another form , as mist , ocean , rain or river . If we look deeply into the nature of a cloud , we see that a cloud can't die .

It can't pass from a state of being into a state of non-being . A cloud can become rain or snow or ice , but it can't become nothing . So if the sky is clear , it doesn't mean that your cloud has died . It continues on in other forms . How can our loved one die ? Everything arises in dependence on everything else . There's no beginning or ending .

There's no creation , no destruction of anything at all . This is true of the entire universe . Billions and billions of conditions have come together for us to manifest in this form . When different conditions arise , we will manifest in a different form . Do not get caught in the form . Do not get caught in signs .

Learn to look with eyes of sinlessness and see your cloud in its new forms , in the rain , in the river , in your tea . If you have lost someone and if you have cried so very much , please look deeply and recognize that the true nature of your beloved is the nature of no birth and no death , no coming and no going .

-- Another reflection called-- 'Your loved one will always be with you' . --If you establish yourself in the present moment and touch the present moment deeply , you could gain deep insight into who you are . If I am really in touch with myself , i discover that at the same time , i am the sun , i am a cloud , i am the earth .

A river , a mountain , a squirrel , a tree . Everything is in everything else , (and the Jesuits remind us of this fact) . If you took the mountain out of me , I would no longer be here . If you took the cloud out of me , I would not be here either , because I am all these things . I am the cloud , the squirrel , the deer , the mountain .

I am my loved one . You cannot take my loved one out of me . This is the insight of interbeing that I can touch when I touch the present moment deeply . When you touch the one , you touch the all .

If you can see yourself as a leaf , as a flower , as a beautiful cloud in the sky , you will easily understand that you have never been born , you have not come from nowhere and you will never die And you can never be without the ones you love . Because when it rains we think there's no sunshine , but above the clouds the sun shines brightly in the blue sky .

-- Consider these words , along with Psalm 139 . "Lord , you have probed me , you know me , you know when I sit and stand . You understand my thoughts from afar , my travels and my rest . You mark with all my ways . You are familiar Even before a word is on my tongue . Lord , you know it all . Behind and before , you encircle me and rest your hand upon me .

Such knowledge is beyond me , far too lofty for me to reach . Where can I hide from your spirit , from your presence ? Where can I flee If I ascend to the heavens , you are there . If I lie down in shawl , you are there too . If I fly with the wings of dawn and the light beyond the sea , even there your hand will guide me .

Your right hand hold me fast If I say surely , darkness shall hide me and night shall be my light . Darkness is not dark for you , and night shines as the day . Darkness and light are but one . You formed my inmost being .

God's Wonderful Designs

You knit me in my mother's womb . I understand you so wonderfully . You made me . Wonderful are your works , my very self . You knew My bones were not hidden from you When I was being made in secret , fashioned as in the depths of the earth . Your eyes foresaw my actions . In your book all are written down . My days were shaped before one came to be .

How precious to me are your designs , O, God . How vast the sum of them . Were I to count , they would outnumber the sands . To finish , I would need eternity . Prod me , God . Know my heart , try me , know my concerns , see if my way is crooked , then lead me in the ancient paths . " That brings to a close another episode . A new one drops every Friday .

Please support us by subscribing to this podcast on Google Podcasts , Apple , Amazon Music , Spotify and the Facebook pages of Gate of Heaven Cemetery in Los Altos , California , or Calvary Cemetery in San Jose , California . I am Candee Lucas , the Aftercare Coordinator for Catholic Cemeteries , a spiritual director and chaplain .

You can reach us at the email or phone number in the show notes . We welcome suggestions for future episodes or reach out to us for one-on-one spiritual direction , either individually or as a family . As you travel through grief , stay safe , be gentle with yourself and travel with God . Vaya con Dios .

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