My Son Is Not Here

not here . That's what the woman across from me said when I attended a recent session . I've been thinking about what she said ever since . Many of us , including myself , work very hard to try to attend to the grief of others , hoping that our experiences may be of some assistance . Then a voice cries out in very real pain --"but my son is still gone .

But my son is still gone . How can we live with these cruel realities ? How can our God attend us and how can we continue to believe in his love and care In the face of unimaginable pain

? First we do it with prayer , maybe in the darkness of the night , in the darkness of our own soul , when all we can do is remember our tears and our longing and our pain . But that tiny prayer comes through , please . And if we were to extend it , please help me . And if we were to extend it further , please help me , god .

The next part is the most difficult waiting for that help , because we know we know in the daytime that God works on his own timeline , not ours . We don't know how soon that help may come .

It might be true that the waiting itself is the cause of our pain , because while we wait , while we wait to see and experience God's love once again , we wait in our pain and it seems we wait there alone . It is difficult to see in the darkness what might be just beyond the shadows .

It is difficult in those dark days to remember the love of our person now missing , the love they created in their life , the love they created with us , and the love they created with God . Yet remembering

this love is the key . It's worthwhile to remember and maybe write down certain days or times or occurrences or occasions when that love between you and your missing loved one most acutely represented on a holiday , a birthday , a special occasion , or maybe on a quiet day where you sat together in a room and didn't speak but knew the love that surrounded you .

Write that down , then think of another day , another time when you said it to each other , when you said those words --I love you-- and remember what it felt like to be able to express that to a person you hold most dear .

Meister Eckhart , who lived between 1260 and 1328 , is one of history's great mystics . His religious writings were so eloquent that they helped evolve the German language .

He was a Catholic monk and scholar who often presented his faith and spiritual understandings in sermons of stunning clarity , and he offers the following , entitled when; "I Was the Forest"- when I was the stream , when I was the forest , when I was still the field , when I was every hoof , foot , fin and wing , when I was the sky itself , no one ever asked me did

I have a purpose ? No one ever wondered was there anything I might need ? For there was nothing I could not love . It was when I left all we once were, that agony began . The fear and questions came and I wept . I wept ; and tears I had never known before . So I returned to the river . I returned to the river . I returned to the mountains .

I asked for their hand in marriage . Again , I begged . I begged to wed every object and creature . And when they accepted , God was ever present in my arms and he did not say where have you been ? For then I knew my soul , every sky , the stream , the forest , where the essence of you waits in the presence of God for your reunion

. That concludes this week's episode . You can find us on Apple , Spotify or Amazon . Feel free to send any questions you might have about grieving to my email . In the show notes I'll try to answer any questions you have . Remember I'm always available for spiritual direction by Zoom to those who are grieving . Please reach out to me if you have this need .

Be safe . Travel with God always at your side . Vaya con Dios .