• Empathy is the ability to understand and feel into someone else’s experience, as well as take action to help them. There are three types—cognitive, emotional, and compassionate. • First gain cognitive empathy by switches perspectives, listening, asking questions, and seeking to understand. Find emotional empathy by addressing their higher natures and assuming the best of them, or find common ground. Finally offer compassionate empathy by taking action to enhance their wellbeing. Hear it Here -...
Jan 28, 2022•9 min
Many famous independent thinkers throughout history shed light on how we might develop the capacity in ourselves. Socrates teaches us the power of asking questions and uncovering our assumptions by taking nothing for granted. Niall Ferguson teaches us about counterfactual thinking, and imagining answers to the question “what if?”, and Nietzsche teaches us the value of perspective-switching to enrich our perception of the world. Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3n6a2fz Show notes and/or episode tra...
Jan 26, 2022•13 min
Finally, the deeper the love, the deeper the hate. Love and hate are closer than you think because they are both intense emotions. Work with love and hate in your own “chase” by leading with your polarizing attributes rather than aiming to please everyone in the boring middle. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttraction Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/p...
Jan 24, 2022•8 min
Better communication skills stem from a healthy mindset and a good attitude toward relationships in general. We can practice and communicate self-differentiation by knowing and taking responsibility for communicating our own needs. Then we can establish boundaries and gently but firmly assert them. Boundaries are not rules for others’ behavior, but for ours. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/IntentionalCommunicationKing Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-ski...
Jan 21, 2022•9 min
The fundamentals of critical thought include learning to take in information (especially reading) critically, dropping the ego so that you don’t get stuck in any one perspective or opinion, having the bravery to be disliked for being different, and maintaining an open and receptive rather than closed mind. Conventional thinkers differ from independent thinkers in their approach to reality itself, and how they see the function of thinking. For the former, it’s to bolster the ego. For the latter, ...
Jan 19, 2022•16 min
Most of us have been faced with being rejected and told that we are only thought of as friends and not romantic partners. Is there a way to deal with this? For females, perhaps. Studies have shown that females do indeed see males platonically, but males do not do the same for females. Can males and females be only platonic friends? Yes, but it will usually be the female’s choice. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttraction Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit....
Jan 17, 2022•15 min
Finally, master self-differentiation and be crystal clear on thoughts versus feelings, and your thoughts and feelings versus those of others. Defuse conflict by taking responsibility for your perspective while seeing the other persons for what it is. Most important of all, have the maturity to maintain intimacy with others despite differences in opinion. Routinely ask what is your “business” versus theirs and what is observation versus evaluation. Keep the words flowing by buying me a coffee ....
Jan 14, 2022•11 min
• Independent thinkers can think logically, clearly and autonomously, outside the pressures of their cultures, upbringings, past experiences or historical period. They are conscious and aware, rather than reactive and automatic, and can truly think (and experience) for themselves. • Cultivating independent thought takes time and effort. The first stage is to assemble a patchwork identity as an independent thinker, and mimic others we see around us. The second stage is to gradually develop trust ...
Jan 12, 2022•13 min
In every interaction, consciously choose to address the other persons highest self, or at least their most vulnerable and human self. Acknowledge emotional content and not just superficial details. Have compassion, awareness, and genuine curiosity for other peoples different perspectives. Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
Jan 10, 2022•9 min
The chase is something we subconsciously do, despite outwardly decrying having to play dating games. Mostly, the chase has to do with the appeal and addictiveness of intermittent rewards and understanding why human nature works this way. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttraction Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting #Attraction #BFSkinner #Oper...
Jan 07, 2022•11 min
Breaking rules can be attractive since it conveys confidence and power and communicates that you act from your own internal integrity, which is sexy! Never violate peoples boundaries, however, and cause any actual harm. Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
Jan 05, 2022•7 min
In conflict, try to imagine a neutral observer and the “third story” theyd tell so you can identify a set of facts about the situation that both parties can agree on. Harmonious relationships begin when we abandon our egoistic need to be right.
Jan 03, 2022•11 min
Our attitude toward new information determines the extent of our learning. If we are “soldiers” who seek only to defend the beliefs we already have, we don’t grow or learn. But as “scouts” we learn for its own sake, reaching out in curiosity and receptivity. We aren’t afraid of the truth; instead we actively seek to learn from it and improve ourselves. We all have a native perspective, a set of assumptions, a non-neutral attitude and even unconscious bias. Yet, we all believe that we are the unb...
Dec 31, 2021•12 min
You may appear more attractive when people are unsure of your feelings for them, so dont be too transparent too early on. Give compliments, but let their meaning be ambiguous. Keep the words flowing by buying me a coffee . Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting
Dec 29, 2021•7 min
Assume noble intent and that people are doing their best. This will put you in a proactive, generous, and optimistic frame of mind that will inspire the best from others and keep you open to solutions and possibilities. Be kind and seek the moral high ground just because! Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/IntentionalCommunicationKing Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit....
Dec 26, 2021•12 min
Closed-mindedness is failing to be aware of the mental perspective we inhabit—and so failing to see that we can and often should step outside of it. This traps us into thinking that we know everything, because what weve decided in our minds is the only possible outcome. When things dont turn out the way we expect, it makes us less compassionate toward ourselves and prevents personal growth. Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more o...
Dec 24, 2021•10 min
When we think about trust, one of the first places our minds will go is to eye contact. Whatever the reality, if you aren’t able to use eye contact, people will find you untrustworthy. Thus, eye contact has been found to cause people to attribute positive traits to you and see you as more intelligent and more trustworthy. But how do we wield eye contact without creeping people out or appearing untrustworthy? The thin line appears to be around three seconds of eye contact at a time, with sufficie...
Dec 22, 2021•10 min
• Everyone can learn to be better at communication, listening, and being heard. This can improve every kind of relationship, as well as help you deal with difficult people and conflict. • Cultivating empathetic, meaningful, and genuine connections with others means being aware of the barriers to that connection and committing to removing them. • One significant obstacle is the mindset that positions others as enemies or adversaries rather than collaborators on the same team. A healthier approach...
Dec 20, 2021•14 min
An intolerance for the inevitable hard work of self-improvement sometimes comes down to inappropriate expectations. We need to be honest and realistic in what we expect from life, so that we don’t give up too easily or assume that we’re not talented enough to achieve our dreams. The right way is seldom the easy way. When we understand that growth and evolution can be difficult, we become more resilient and succeed sooner. We must also accept that the good life is never without its share of diffi...
Dec 17, 2021•20 min
Many animals don’t have verbal languages. This means they must communicate their attraction, often forcefully, through their movements and actions. The human equivalent is how we communicate nonverbally with our body language, eye contact, and touching. There are different types of attractive body language for each gender. They do, however, depend on the factors of availability and fertility. Simply put, the more available you appear, the more attractive you will be, and the more fertile (this v...
Dec 15, 2021•12 min
“Laziness” often masks the mental block of being unable to tolerate discomfort, or the belief that success shouldnt be challenging, difficult or take too long. Its not that “lazy” people are incapable of handling the hardships one needs to cope with for success; theyve simply convinced themselves that they shouldnt have to, and so they never try. This is just another form of a fixed mindset and self-delusion which says we just dont have what it takes to be successful because were “lazy.” With se...
Dec 13, 2021•10 min
Human beings tend to want the same things in their mates—attractiveness, resources, and emotional connection—but people will rank the relative importance of these differently depending on their sex and their life stage. A good dating strategy takes this into account and finds a workable overlap. Keep the words flowing by buying me a coffee .
Dec 10, 2021•8 min
Socrates was rather a know-it-all, or at least that’s how he would have appeared according to the Socratic Method. It was a technique of questioning a stance or opinion in a way to shed light on what was known and what gaps in knowledge existed. There are six types of Socratic questions: conceptual clarification, probing assumptions, probing rationale and reasons, questioning viewpoints, probing implications, and questioning the question itself. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/clearthinkingking Sh...
Dec 08, 2021•12 min
To live with more integrity and honesty, we need to acknowledge that growth and comfort are mutually exclusive. Can we accept all that we are, even the dark and unwanted parts of ourselves? We must, because that is the only way we can ever improve. Pain, failure, mistakes; all of these are a part of life and we must not run away from them, because life is a package deal. The good life is never lived in a state of comfort devoid of hardships. When we can embrace our vulnerabilities with honesty a...
Dec 05, 2021•8 min
Another reason for the instinct to apologize is to avoid conflict. Conflict is tense and uncomfortable, but it is the essence of assertiveness. Becoming comfortable with it by changing your vocabulary to apologize less is an important step. How do you apologize when you actually should? Include one of the six elements articulated by Beth Polin and make sure to actually take responsibility and not deflect or blame others. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast@...
Dec 03, 2021•7 min
Waisman’s four steps are an elaboration on the classic sociobiological theory of attraction. They inform us as to exactly what we are looking for in a way that fuses sociobiological theory with modern dating. The four attractions are physical, status, emotion, and logic. It is a sequence you must pass through for a deep and fulfilling relationship, although we know many that only satisfied two or three factors in their own relationships. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttraction Show not...
Dec 01, 2021•16 min
We know self-delusion is at play if we recognize defense mechanisms, which develop to protect our ego from uncomfortable truths. Nobody can tackle our defense mechanisms but us. There are many common mechanisms such as denial, repression, regression, projection, displacement, etc. Each can be identified through its own unique indicators, but the thing unifying them all is that they allow us to stay in a comfortable bubble where we can get away with not challenging ourselves enough to experience ...
Nov 29, 2021•14 min
Albert Einstein is known for many things, but his thinking method of using thought experiments helped him discover the theory of relativity. It is a hypothetical situation, played out to the very end, as if it were reality. It allows you to test and study things that would otherwise be physically impossible, and make new discoveries therefrom. Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/clearthinkingking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Patrick King...
Nov 25, 2021•9 min
Ultimately, maintaining healthy boundaries is a task that we have to persist with throughout our lives. As we discover new and better ways to communicate, develop new values and priorities, or enter relationships with different sets of people, the way we enforce our boundaries must adapt. Though maintaining healthy boundaries can sometimes come with conflict and unpleasantness, the many benefits outweigh these minor cons. Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at KingPodcast...
Nov 24, 2021•8 min
Apologizing is the opposite of assertiveness—at least when you do it out of instinct like many of us are prone to do. Over-apologizing, however, does give a peek into how you view yourself and the patterns youve been exposed to. We are all products of our past experiences, and many have told us that apologies and not making waves is the best way to get through life unscathed. Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn more or get a free mi...
Nov 22, 2021•12 min
