I feel I feel like Michael, I feel like you had you got to have your proud father moment in the open copy.
Am I wrong?
I mean I no, You're not wrong. Would have been prouder had the result gone our way. But the performance was good. It was a little unlucky and uh, but all in all a tremendous week for the club and the stadium. So no complaints at all.
So when you got up there, walk me through.
It was going through your mind as you're seeing everything, It's like, oh wow, this barn is really, you know, fricking awesome. And then you have New England come to town and everything that's attached to all that.
Walk me through your weeks.
I got to the stadium Friday at about seven forty five in the morning, and two things. One, pictures don't do the stadium justice as far as like, it's much nicer in person and really cool right there on the water and you know, weather helps. Number Two. I was stunned at oh my god, there's eighty million little things that still need to be done around here. Oh yeah,
So it was all hands on deck. I was at the stadium from seven to forty five until about nine to thirty pm all day, left for an hour and a half for lunch. And yeah, it was incredible the amount of work that people put into that stadium. I mean obviously for weeks leading up, but just even the last twenty four hours before the game just amazing. So yeah, definitely a huge team effort. But yeah, so that was all day Friday. We had an event there Friday night
for some VIPs and that went really well. And then Saturday got there around twelve thirty, attended a tailgate party for a little bit, walked around the stadium, did the march to the match, helped out around the stadium with just some little things with people helping out, and then yeah, I went inside and enjoyed the game.
And eight eighty seven.
This is Saturday zero.
Oh, Saturday zero zero. I was thinking open.
Yeah. Yeah, we had, you know, huge chances to win the game. They had a couple of big chances that coldly made some stays. It was a good game. We were down a few starters against a very good team in San Antonio, So a draw going into the game I would have taken. I would have rather have been three to three than zero zero. But no, it was
a it was a great, great day. And it absolutely downpoured in like the eighty eighth minute, eighty ninth minute, like a southern storm that rolled in for about five six minutes, just absolutely downpourd and the fans that stayed out and didn't go undercover, they got louder and they really enjoyed themselves. And then a nice rainbow came over and that's how the game finished. And we had a huge chance in like the ninety second, ninety third minute. So yeah, it's just a really really good day.
And ten thousand and seven hundred at the bank, you know these listed is listed in the official notes in the league as the stadium at Tidewater Landing, but the Bank is now there. You mentioned all the little things this. I have this vision of you, like chasing after things. It's like you're looking at paint and you're edging with paint with a toothbrush, and you've got the painter's tape out, you know, all these kinds of things. Am I far
off here? It's like, what were you doing? What were you doing to make this happen?
Sir?
I had a few different jobs on the day. One there were chairs that meant to be like on our four corners of the stadium. We have loges and the chairs that belong in the lojes where some for some reason, like on ground level off to the side of the stadium. So all those chairs needed to get repositioned. We had to bring a one of those big beverage containers, you know, it's like a five foot beverage container thing. We had to bring that up into the press box trash here
and there. I didn't pick up a paintbrush, so that was good.
Please tell me that there's video or pictures of you doing all this stuff.
I hope not. I hope not, but just pitching it. Yeah, I don't know.
There was.
There was a whole list of things on a big whiteboard that you know. The staff was constantly just crossing things off all day. And you know, our comms director sent me emails at like three thirty in the morning on Thursday night, so you know him. You know, everybody was just working hours and hours to get this going. Incredible sounds.
It sounds like you all crashed the second you got back to the to your respective rooms late Saturday night.
Yeah. I got back to my house at like one o'clock in the morning on Sunday night, Monday morning, and you know, I was up with the kids at six and I was exhausted. When they went to school, I crashed. So that was needed. I can't imagine those people that you know have been grinding and then you know, turn around. We had a rugby match on Sunday, we had the Open Cup on Wednesday, We've got another game tomorrow. It's just crazy first week at the stadium.
Does does it feel like it was X number of years ago when you decided you were diving into this venture with Rhode Island FC to carry it to this past week where you've had ten thousand and seven hundred, you had, you had the game with San Antonio, you had Open Cup, You've had rugby, you had all these things going into this venue. Does it seem like it was long ago? Or does it seem like it was yesterday and you're like, damn all this happened all of a sudden.
In just respect to this project, it seems it seems forever. Yeah, it seems long, just because there are so many ups and downs and so much bs along the way and red tape and like, oh my god, is this project going to die right here in front of us. But you know, when I think back to other things that have gone on five years ago, six years ago, I'm like, gosh, I can't believe it. Like my retirement, I'm like, jeez,
I can't believe it was already that long, you know. So, but no, the project itself has seemed like a long long time just because of some of the stresses that have come along with it. But uh yeah, it's it's been incredible, and now a complete focus is a training ground.
So I mean that's you know, I give somebody with a startup idea massive credit for trying to piece something like this together, having the idea to do it in the first place, and then you're going, yeah, let's go ahead and do it, and then all you really you realize that there's all of this work that goes into this idea of whatever that idea is that you're trying to germinate from, and then finally seeing that first step and you're like, okay, that's a great first step, and
then you got to dust off and it's like, yeah, okay, now the real work begins. We got to this point of the beginning, and now it's sustaining going from going from that moment.
Forward totally, totally, and we've said that to the staff, like this is amazing. But now, how do we take advantage of it? How do we turn people that just want to come to a game every now and then into fans who want to get every game no matter the weather or the opponents or the time a year whatever. So that's the challenge now, and that's a great challenge. We should have almost a sold out stadium again on Saturday.
We basically sold it out against the Revs on Wednesday and that was fun and exciting and an awesome opportunity. And but yeah, it's it's yeah, it's never ending. So yeah, the training ground is definitely a big priority of mine.
And where where are your schematics and all of your drawings and your to do list when it comes to the training ground? Where where's your notebook about Okay, is this this, this, this?
This?
Does that hidden away? Well, where's your notebook on the training ground?
Not even at that point yet, John, It's more big picture stuff. Does it have to be o z Land like an opportunity zone which affects taxes and all this other stuff?
Yes?
So does it have to be that? Can we be out side of that, getting partners and finding land and basically how big of a space do we need and who can partner with us? And you know, those types of things before I go in and say, okay, bare minimum, what do we need? Best case scenario? What do we want? You know? And thankfully we've got a very very very good team admin guy who's been around for a long time, so he could he could tell me what we need and want very quickly.
All right, time to take the left turn and talk about what happens with at Landy United and how we can apply that going forward.
I know that we have.
We talked about quicksand a lot we talk about those kinds of things. How how much passive with everything going on in Rhode Island, how much passive interest to you know looking at scores and things like that. Were you looking at with at Land United in Nashville last time out?
Yeah? I didn't see the game, but I saw the highlights followed it a little bit. Have read a little bit, and yeah, disappointing, especially in a second half where you know you're tied and it's a home game and we're struggling. You'd think that we would have been the aggressors and been on top. So to see that, you know, we were second best in the second half and you know, honestly fortunate to get a draw rather than you know, really unlucky that you know, and they've had a couple
unlucky results during this run. But yeah, I think that was disappointing for sure.
So when you have a when you have a lead and you're trying to not make mistakes and preserve that lead with everything that has happened in recent history, when you're talking to your mentees about, you know, trying to preserve something, it's like, Okay, something good happens after a run of bad has happened, however you want to phrase bad, something good happens, and trying to build off of a
good thing after a run of bad things. When you have these conversations with your mentees, how do they respond about that moment, that one moment of good and you're trying to get them to build on it and trying not to be have them be afraid of that good moment, which I think at times sometimes during this run you might be afraid of success. Do you talk to your mentees about dealing with success and not being afraid of it when you have that one moment.
Yeah, totally. And even as you're talking, I'm thinking about injuries too. It's the same thing of not being afraid to be healthy, and that is a thing. Yeah, that's really tough because you know, when I'm thinking about it, I'm like at Lenni and Ida has never really been built to just win one zero, right, that's not the identity of the club. So I guess yet that it's difficult when you haven't won and you get a lead to say, okay, can we just and win one zero?
Because man, I'd want them to have the approach of like, hey, we're playing at home, you know, with all due respect to an average Nashville team, like let's pound them, let's set it and set the standard here, get back to it and win this game three zero. You know, it's there for the taking. You know, Nashville obviously is a decent team, but no one's going to say that they're
one of the best in MLS. And I know that they just put seven on Chicago the week before, so you know, it's probably not right for me to say that, but it's the truth, and you know, so yeah, just
unbelievably crazy. Right now, they're in Atlanta. But as far as with mentees, yeah, you we definitely want them to hey, focus on our positives and definitely to your point of not being afraid of success, because it takes a lot to have success and they put in a lot of work, and so we want to celebrate those successes when we have them and know that you've earned them. These successes
aren't lucky. But you're right, teams players can be scared of success and scared of health when they're not used to it.
How do you get in your messaging and in the conversations that you have with Greg, how do you how do you guys sit there and kind of grab them into by the shoulders or whatever and point to the empirical evidence. It's like, look, you can do this, We've seen it. I know that with peer pressure and a lot of things that you know that are environmental, it sometimes is really difficult to push through and accept that first good moment and sit there and it's like, okay,
we can add to it. You know, how do you how do you impress upon a mentee? You know, it's like, look, you've done this. How difficult is it? To impress upon a men tee to build on success these days, because you know the whole put some dirt on it, rub it and get back out their generation. That's you know, that's when I was in school back in the late
eighteen hundreds. But I would imagine it's different. But when you have these kinds of conversations, what are they like about, you know, perseverance and pushing through?
Yeah, we say, you know, if if it seems too big, you know, then the first step just needs to be smaller. Yeah, right, take a small win, right to take a take a good half and be happy with that and then start again fresh second half. Okay, get a win the second half, you know that type of thing when when and if you're somebody that get subbed in summed oubt, like, just win that time period that you're on the field, right, feel good about that win, reset, and go win the
next one when you're out there. Right, So we just try and chunk it a little bit to try and build. Like you said, build upon successes is definitely an easy way to gain confidence and to grow into it. So helping them just reframe of what is a win and how can I feel good about myself? Because those things can change right from player to player, and within a game,
those goalposts are always changing. And you know, if we need small wins, we can create small wins to feel good about that, to build up and hopefully build upon bigger wins.
How difficult is it to have them focus on a small win because I know that they want to focus on the big picture and the finish line and all these things. You know, it's like, Okay, we gotta lead and you know, winning and all this kind of stuff. But sometimes sequential is the best way to go about it.
But I know that we're all into the instant gratification these days, and it's like the quick result, and it's like focusing on the end instead of focusing on everything in the middle to get to the end.
Is it? How different is it to sit there.
And remind them about the small stuff to get to the larger stuff when we all want to jump to the end of the book to find out who committed the murder.
Anyway, Sure, And what we try and tell them is, you know, if you start a big picture season, right, it's all a bunch of smaller games, And a game is all a bunch of smaller moments. So these small moments matter. Every small moment within a game dictates how the game goes from there on out. And so, yeah, we want to win our little moments. And you know, every moment doesn't necessarily mean a winn or a loss, obviously, but they can be small things that we can build
upon and they set the tone for the game. And so yeah, you know, and we also talk about we can separate team performance from the individual performance, right, so, okay, focus on the individual performance here for a minute, and win your battles. Do what you need to do, and if everybody on the team is doing that, the team
is going to be able to do that as a group. Now, of course, there's times where okay, we need to focus on the team and what's best for the team, and you know as far as like oh do I need to pass this ball or shoot this ball, or do I go for my hat trick? Or do I play like a good teammate and things like that, But those are you know, different times, and you know, more of the time we have to say, okay, how can I help my team? What are the small wins that I
can create? Because again, small moments, that's what leads to big moments.
How difficult is it to separate being afraid to fail and understanding that failures can lead to successes because I know at times they seem like there are one hundred and eighty degrees from each other, but I think that there are times when they can blend and you can learn from one to the other. How do you get them to understand that there's a blend here, that bad can lead to good instead of having the bad way you down and turn it into more things that could be bad.
It's tough. That's one of the toughest things And what makes it even tougher is parents on the sideline freaking out over every play, every loss, and everything, because then the kids are picking up on that, saying, well, losing is so bad, And yeah, of course we want to breed some competitiveness and the desire to win, for sure, but no doubt, you can't have success without losing. And we say athletes, they lose the most out of any
person and job out there. Right. If a person that didn't have an athletic job lost and didn't have success as much as an athlete did, they'd get fired, they'd lose their job. But we as athletes can lose and we lose a lot, and you're going to lose a lot and that's going to happen. And so how can you learn from it? How can you get better from it? Right? Is it poor me? Why me? It's not my fault? Coach's fault? This that right? Or do you take ownership?
And if you can take ownership of things and grow from it, you'll lose a lot less in the long run.
Michael Parker is hanging out with us here at m F. Parker's on the two hundred nitty Character app at BG Mentoring on said two hundred and eighty character app Beyond Girls Entering dot Com here on the Friday Free Kick. You know, when you discuss failure and being in a funk and snapping out of it and all these kinds of things, I would imagine. I mean, you mentioned failure
and athletes. I mean what Tony Gwinn was a failure seventy percent of the time, and he's a Hall of Famer, you know, and that's I don't think that folks may necessarily look at it that way. Yeah, Tony Gwenn, he was a career, you know, three thirty five hitter. He failed two out of three times, and he's one of the best that ever performed in his sport. When you got into a funk as a as a professional athlete,
how did you shake yourself out of it? And do you get to apply those same kinds of principles today as a mentor to the next generation to get them out of funds?
Yeah, getting into funks is challenging and sometimes it can happen quick for whatever reason. And you know, for me, there were definitely some moments where I just felt like I wasn't playing great, was I playing terrible? Like no,
I wasn't playing terrible game in and game out. But you know, there were moments and runs where it was like, man, I'm just not playing up to the standard and that, or it was like every mistake I'm making right now is leading to a goal Versus when things are going well, as a defender, you could trip over the ball and give the guy a breakaway and he shanks it or
the goalie saves it or whatever. But when things aren't going well, you make one half bad pass, they pick it off, one pass in the back of the net, and it just seems like there's moments and there's runs that you go on and that happens. I don't know why,
It's just the way it is. And really nothing can get you out of it other than staying the course and continuing to show up at practice and do the small things and you know, get back to enjoying the game, because when you're in these moments, it's easy not to enjoy it and just complain about anything and everything. But that becomes really contagious within the locker room that I've seen. So uh yeah, I hope that the environment at Elani
and Eider right now is not that. And maybe that's why they brought the therapy dogs in the other day.
Hey look, I mean you know what Deacon does for you inside the Parkhurst household?
Am I right?
Sure do?
Uh huh.
So it's like Deacon's the boss or a boss b and it's like it's the whole there you go. I don't think Deacon has moved since the last time we talked.
But but and that's the thing.
It's like, you know, when you are when you're surrounded by or when negative energy is around you. I think that. So then let me ask this. We know what negative energy can be. What is more contagious these days, in the conversations that you have with your mentees, negative energy spreading or positive energy spreading.
Well, it's proven that negativity spreads a lot faster than positivity. Okay, so that has the power to be more contagious, much more easily. But positivity can also affect other people and be contagious, no doubt about it. It's just that that's why it says, you know, one bad apple, right, and one bad apple can really affect quickly a group a lot faster than one positive person can bring positivity with
them throughout a whole group. So that's that's a challenge, and that's why you try not to have too many of those guys around. Yeah, but speaking of that, I really like the question Emilio put out there when we're talking about positivity, because you know, he asks about a home crowd, can it be too much at times and
cause anxiety? It's not a stupid question at all, because I literally think that's what's going on in Manchester United, and when I watch them play and I hear the crowd, and you know, especially when you see Anthony do so poorly for Manchester United leave and then all of a sudden go back to the player he was at where it was PSV, you know now that he's in Spain. And I definitely definitely think a home crowd can play a factor in this. And now I'm not blaming a
home crowd. I think players need to be able to stand up and put their shoulders up and you know, stick their chest out and bring it on and really rise above it. But you know, you don't want to disappoint a crowd, and you know that, oh shoot, if we don't play well, they might boo us. And you know they have high expectations. And so that's why sometimes teams play a little bit better on the road where they don't have the pressure of needing to win or
expecting to win in front of their home crowd. So yeah, it's tough, but every player would rather have a huge home crowd than not, so they need to be able to deal with it.
Yeah, when you look at the idea of we've been talking with Greg, and Greg has been mentioning about competitive stress and things like that, I would think that competitive stress is multiplied at home, especially as things are not going well and everybody talks about, you know, hey, getting away from home, and it might be you know something to to flip the switch and have you go the other way when it comes to you know, competitive stress and in a in a home arena environment, did you
want to break? Did you want to get off the schneid more at home? Or just get off the schnid wherever it happened and then build on it from there. Did it mean more when you when you snap a streak, you know, personally at home or just whenever I did it?
I did it and then build out it from there?
It didn't matter, didn't matter at all home or away, you know, own goal or five zero performance, literally take whatever. Honestly, sometimes I think it a little bit more away from home because it's tougher to win away from home, and sometimes I can bond a group a little bit, right, and then usually the next games at home, okay, can we build on this versus you know, you're supposed to
win your home games, especially against most teams. Right, there's very few teams in MLS where they come into the benz and like we might not win this one, yeah, right, But most teams that come in you you expect to win. So that's where the expectations can lead to more pressure and more.
Stress nothing like all, all right, So let me go with Dell here, what was the what was the favorite time of day to play matches or midday?
I disliked the most a one pm game.
The first one out of the blocks, uh huh.
Uh huh or earlier, and those were rare usually for some reason, Canadians like those, so every now and then we had them. And the reason why I disliked it the most is because your pregame meal you're having at like eight o'clock or nine o'clock in the morning, and
it's just weird. You know, You're used to having you know, chicken and pasta and that type of stuff, and so then all of a sudden, you know, are you waking up at six o'clock to have breakfast so then you can have a normal pregame meal or you're just having one meal. You know, it's weird. So I really disliked any thing before like three o'clock. That said, I really like like anywhere between a four and a six pm kickoff most of the time. Most of the time, he says,
it gets there's different factors that come into it. Because I love the early kickoff, because a seven thirty game it's really difficult after the game to eat, you know, hydrate and get a good, nice sleep. It's very, very difficult home or away, and so that was a challenge always. But if it's hot out, I'd rather kick off at nine pm, I don't care.
Yeah, you know.
So you know, if you're playing in Orlando basically anytime of year, seven thirty great, But if you're playing at the Bends, yeah, give me a nice five o'clock kickoff.
Perfect, And so Dell kind of answers that. It brings another question in that would kind of relate to your time there in Rhode Island and getting tidewater, landing.
Off and running. It's sleep, but all after an intense game.
It's tough, especially in the late game, right. You just you get on this high and it's very difficult to come back down after the game. Right. So yeah, there's it's not uncommon for guys to be up until like one, two, three o'clock in the morning after a game just because you're wired and you just can't you just can't rest, right, You're physically tired, but the brain won't shut off of the mind, and you know, it's difficult. So yeah, it's tough.
So after you got to move chairs and move drink machines and everything, and the match againt san Antonio. Did you crash immediately or were you still up until two or three o'clock in the morning.
No, I mean it was a four thirty game. So I went out to dinner with some people afterwards, and you know, we actually called it. I was expecting maybe that we'd have a kind of a rowdy night, but everyone was so tired that I was asleep by ten thirty. I think.
That does not surprise me one bit, because everything that you've invested to that particular point makes perfect sense. Okay, last time you were on, we had a guest collision, and so I have another guest collision, and it is time to bring in someone that you that you may know.