All right, so let's we yield the floor and we bring in to Michael Parkhurst as Bart will now go into listener mode. Uh yeah, that that's the look I was kind of anticipating, Sir John. Yeah, morning cap. Uh yeah, we got some salty folks after what happened last night out at so far first and foremost, let me go back. Did you watch said match last night?
Yeah? I watched most of it. I missed a little bit in the beginning.
And your thoughts, Comma, sir, Comma, are question mark.
Shocked? Shocked but not shocked?
I guess okay, you know, I think that obviously we were the better team most of the game. I mean, we create chances, have opportunities, and you don't finish them. And you know, we've all heard the story before, we've all seen it play out before, so uh yeah, I think it's frustrating. I don't I say shocked, because it just seemed like Panama didn't even have an opportunity. So it was like and then he sticks it side netting when he when he gets an opportunity, and that's that's incredible.
So yeah, I just shocked.
That it went in in that like, Wow, we're actually going to lose this game, because no part of me ever thought like, oh, we're going to lose this game. I didn't think the performance was terrible. But good performances don't always need to good results, and you know, these these are these are good lessons that we have to learn. I mean, yeah, of course I wish we got the opportunity to play in Mexico because we need big games going into the World Cup, especially without qualifying.
But yeah, I guess I always look at it class half.
Full when a team is coming into a match and it's not I mean it's not quite the U twelve pitch at Yankee Stadium, but it ain't quite you know, the wide track stadia that you would go up against and say in some Conca cat venues. When you know a team is going to go five four one, when you know that it's a tighter play the normal, how much of a challenge is it to break something down Traditionally, you know, when they're going to put nineteen behind the
ball anyway, it's going to be a challenge. But when they put nineteen behind the ball and they're playing a five four to one on a shorter pitch, how much added pressure is that to try to break something like that down, especially when you're not scoring later and later and later in a match.
Yes, that's the key, right, It's it becomes very, very difficult to the longer it goes, and you know, it's difficult to play against those teams, there's no doubt about it. And you know, I always used to view it like, if we are struggling, right at some point, if we're struggling, stop pressing, come back to our own half, let them
have the ball and try and counterattack. Now, we were creating chances last night, so I'm not saying that's what we needed to do, but yeah, it's challenging, and you know, I think that's where you have to just put pressure
on teams. And you know that we always used to say pressure burst pipes, so balls in the box and winning second balls, and it doesn't always have to be pretty, and your fight for a knockdown and you get one or you score one off a set piece and then things open up a little bit and then you can be patient and they'll have to eventually come out. But obviously we never got that. But it's it's challenging, and you know, the smaller field makes it even more challenging.
But hey, they're not the only team that's ever sat back against the national team, so and surely it was expected.
So yeah, no excuses, honestly.
No, I know we were Also I played the Tony Meola sound from last night, or at least part of it, because it was a good five minute conversation where Tony was looking at Matt Turner and saying, you know, you got to you gotta have that one, much like the forwards, you gotta have those opportunities. You've got to create those opportunities.
So Tony wasn't blaming Matt specifically. There was a lot of that to go around, but in that instance, I understood what Matt was doing positionally, and the defense kind of just let Waterman kind of do his thing toward the end, and it's just it seems like a bunch of different things kind of cascaded into one moment where it just kind of just goes past Matten into the back of the net for a lot.
Yeah, and I'm trying to take another look at it right now. That's probably why the volume you heard, And yeah, I agree, you know, I think it's easy for us to say, you know, two feet to the left instead of two feet to the right and all these things. But yeah, I think there was a little bit of miscommunication on the back line. You know, it seemed like Scally had gone with his guy and stepped up. Striker pulls out wide. Tim Ream doesn't want to get sucked
out there. You know, Scali doesn't know that the guy's running behind him and now he's got.
A free shot inside the eighteen.
So yeah, definitely a little bit of miscommunication in that in that instance, and you paid the price and these little little moments, you know, it's it's just unbelievable. And this is the difference between us having a successful work up and not.
Right.
You know, say you play Panama or I guess, I don't know if we could, but you play the worst team in your group and you lose one zero, even though you dominate the game, that's it. That could be your World Cup over right. You go one to one and one and you're just out. And so you know that's a reality, and you know, I hope that this group kind of understands that moving forward, because you know, there are certain games you can't lose, and this is one of them.
Were you in a room by yourself watching the smatch, Were you with family? Were there was? Was Deacon having to listen to yelling what was this? What was the situation?
I actually watched it on the Spanish channel because uh yeah, I enjoy that. So Deacon was around because were one was that baseball practice, one was just getting home from softball practice, so they were kind of doing their own thing, so nobody else was watching or intrigued or anything.
So I was I was just checking because you know, there are times when we are in our environments and if you're by yourself in an office and you scream at the top of your lungs, then the next thing is for everybody else to sit there and go, well, what happened? And then you're you know, you're cursing into television. I didn't know what the the dynamic was last night.
Yeah, I don't find myself getting to that level right now. I will probably in the World Cup. But even last night where that goal went in, it was just like, wow, did that just go in?
Does that count? Did we just lose this game?
Not like upset or mad or frustrated or anything, kind of just like dumbfounded, I guess.
So, yeah, when you have and when you have conversations with men tees about taking care of business and in whatever form that is, I mean things that you should be able to do and do them, and then they don't. How do you have these conversations about getting understanding that moments like this happen and try to prevent the moments like this from continuing to happen to where once is Yeah, okay,
but you don't turn it into a trend. Do you talk about controlling mistakes and getting over mistakes and how to get past it and how to improve from situations?
Oh, totally. Yeah.
It's one of the biggest things we talked about because you know, it affects athletes in every sport at every level, and you know with the younger generations specifically, we talk a lot about expectations going into it, right, and we say you need to expect that.
You're going to make mistakes.
That way, when you do make a mistake, you're not surprised, you're not shocked, you're not disappointed.
In the moment. Right.
We can analyze things afterwards and we can be disappointed in a mistake or performance or whatever, right, but in the moment, there's no time for those things not in soccer anyways. So if we know that we're going to make mistakes, right, the reaction, we can't control what just happened, right, it's gone. Well, all we can control is the reaction. And so if we can let go of that as soon as it happens and just control the reaction, that's the best.
We can do in that moment. And usually.
The mistake doesn't matter if the reaction is good. You know, most times you can make up for it. Every now and then, of course you can't ends up in it back of the net and we try and make up for it later in the game, but most of the time we can. So yeah, overcoming those things is critical.
You know, game to game is a little bit more challenging, but in game, for sure is a lot based on expectations, and we, especially the attacking players, we say, hey, make a few mistakes, please, because if you're not, you're not trying to have effect on the game. You don't want your number ten, your strikers and your wingers to have one hundred percent pass completion or anything like that.
Right, That's that's not the that's not how you're going.
To win and showcase and do really well, right, go one on one, take shots, try and play three balls, all those things.
And when you do those things, you're gonna make mistakes.
How difficult is it, though, to develop short term memory regardless of what position you're in. I mean, I would imagine that you're that if you're up up top, you know that you're up there to put the ball in the back of the net, and you're up there to have the confidence to do it. You know, when you're more of a defensive posture, it's almost I would think, amplify the mistakes could be amplified. Whether it's defense or
keeper or whatever. It is it easier for attackers to have short term memory, or is it easier for defenders and keepers to have a short term memory to continue to learn and proceed from a mistake.
It should be easier for attackers, just because.
You know, one one goal can really.
Make up for four mischances.
You know, even even last night, you know with Agamon, if he finishes the second one, nobody remembers that he missed the first one. True, you know, two massive chances.
But I think for defenders it's a little bit more challenging sometimes because you know, like what you said, usually the mistakes are punished more often, and they're just more noticeable, they're more present, right, So yeah, as a defender, it can be a little bit more challenging because you can play a really, really good game for eighty nine and fifty eight seconds and there's two seconds you make a
big mistake and you lose one zero. Now all of a sudden, everybody's looking at you like, man, how could you have made that mistake? So it's definitely a little more challenging for defenders and attackers.
Then how do you keep from turning it into quicksand? Basically where if you make a mistake and another and another and I feel like I'm quoting Shane Falco from The Replacements. You know, it's like you try to avoid quicksands, you make one mistake, you make another and another, and you just feel like you're sinking. How do you how do you? I guess A, you know we've gotten into the prevention of that, but how do you pull yourself
out of quick out of that quicksand? Is it one moment or is it a series of moments to develop confidence? Or does it depend on the individual where somebody could have that one moment and they're back up and running, and then someone's got to sit there and have a couple of reinforcements before they feel comfortable all over again.
Yeah, it's it's really on the individual.
But of course there's things that we try and institute that help out. And you know, it's a lot of it based on experience. Have I have I lost a couple of nights of sleeps throughout my career when I played a really good game but made a mistake and we gave up a goal.
Yeah, of course, And so we.
Try and help our athletes really focus on what did you do well today?
Right?
What I know that we probably did some bad things, What did you do well coming out of the game, right, and try and focus on our positives. It's easier said than done. You know, if you're making mistake early in the game, you came back from it, that's that's a lot easier. Right If last night, say that ball went through Matt Turner's legs or Scaley got nutmeg and its discordable right at the at the last minute, that's a lot more challenging, right because now you've got to sleep
on it. Now you can't really make up for it. Until you get another opportunity on the field, so that can be a little bit more challenging. That becomes tough, and we just hey, you can control what you can control. The mistakes are going to be made, and hopefully you've got some good teammates that can rally around you and really pick you up in those moments.
When you have You know, when you're in one of those kinds of of moments and you're trying to dust yourself off in this what was it for you? Or was it or did your your attitude change over time when it came to turning off, turning off a mistake and putting it behind you? Did you at first? I guess when you were younger, did you kick yourself longer? Did you get over it over time? Did you still kick yourself the constant rate as you were still a professional?
How did your level of adjustment go? Did you beat yourself up as much as you did earlier in your career later in your careers? I guess what I'm asking.
Not as much, not as much.
I think that early on in the career it's a little bit easier to read what people are saying online to care about such things too, and I think you're still out trying to prove yourself right and prove like, oh that's not me type thing, and versus you know, later later on in my career. Not that I'm not still trying to prove things, but you know, I think you have a little bit more self confidence and you know, like, hey, I've made these mistakes before.
I can bounce back from this, you.
Know, And then you turn the page and you try focus on getting better at training, right, if you don't have another game upcoming, that's the only way you can do it. Honestly, it's and it's it's tough, and it takes experience, There's no doubt about it.
Right.
It's it's one thing to make a mistake in a game. It's another thing to make a mistake in the Olympics or in a Champions League game. In a you're representing your country and you make a huge mistake, and now you feel the weight of a lot more and that's challenging.
Michael Parkers at MF parkerst on the two hundred and eighty character app at BEG Mentoring on the two hundred and eighty character app Beyond Goalsmenoring dot Com and all that you and Greg Garza do is fantastic to help the the upcoming generations when it comes to understanding all these things in context and ways to proceed through it, and then whether it's video or conversation, the whole wide
ranging bit. And that's why we like to have you on here for the Friday Free Kick every single Friday that you're not globe trotting. So are you? Are you? Are you? Uh? What's what's the what are you naching on there? Sir?
I'm not I'm not eating anything.
I'm uh, I'm meant to I meant to wear something today and I forgot it.
Oh dude, Oh there it is, Adam. Yeah, look at that. There it is from Olive and York right there.
Beautiful.
Now, okay, so did you you personalized with the Carolina blue? Sir? Can I say that actually the light blue? We have to say light blue for you.
Can, yes, late blue, it's definitely not Carolina blue.
Yeah. So there it is. There's the the Kaiser Permanente sponsored Michael Parker's jersey. And we thank you for that because it's it's very very cool that that you are there to help us out, you and Greg and beyond goals and Kaiser too to wear the Olivi and York presented Kaiser Permanente SDH Jersey to help us out for Soccer for Good here in twenty twenty five. That's strong. That's pretty good. I thought you were going to bust out your Rhode Island gear and wear that on the show.
That's no, sir, No, sir, way more important than that.
It's just but once again, it's it's very I will say this, it's very humbling when when someone you know cracks open an envelope and they sit there and you flash something like that, and it's very very it's very very humbling, very very cool. You've disrupted my train of thoughts, sir. I hope you're happy, Oh I am. Yes, when you know, when you have you know, we talk about moments, and we talk about quick sand, and we talk about young athletes,
and we talk about all these things. With trying to get over mistakes or get past mistakes, I would think a lot of times it's easier said than done. And you mentioned the context of match versus representing your country
and all these kinds of other things. I would imagine at least, you know, for those of us of a certain age, you know that were born, you know, after the Industrial revolution that just started happening, that it's probably a little bit more difficult for folks of certain ages to get over things than it is a lot younger folks. Do you find that to be the case where you're having interactions with adults, and adults may act a certain way, but with your mentees they let things brush off a
little better than we would. Or because of social media, is it just as difficult but in a different way to have things brush off?
Yeah.
I think a lot of it is personality as well versus you know, how confident is the person in what way did they make their mistake? Was it in something that they feel comfortable in or not? You know, what were the repercussions from the mistake? You know, those types of things I think really affect how the person is able to bounce back from things. But yeah, I will say that a lot of the younger generation can bounce
back from things pretty quickly. But I also think some of that is based off of how the parents bounce back from things and their reactions to the mistakes and things like that. So I think that we can have a real effect on the next generation, no doubt as parents and our children's resiliency.
How difficult, you know, how difficult is it to change a younger person's wiring or their DNA when it comes to stuff like that, Because I would imagine that if you have a student athlete that is incredibly self conscious, it might take a little more for them to turn it around than say, someone who is instantly confident. So I mean, I would imagine that you're getting a bunch of different student athletes and a bunch of mentees that
come at it from different ways. Yes, how hard is it to sit there the ones that are less confident? How much of a task is it for you and Greg to try to turn them around and have them understand Yeah it's ok it's okay to fail, learn from failing. And they may not buy it initially. They're just like you know, I don't know. Oh, and they're always sometimes it might be tougher nuts to crack s it.
Yeah, absolutely, And it's slow and study. It's it's not going to be overnight. It's not going to be a one conversation and then all of a sudden they've got a different mentality, right, it's it's difficult to learn new habits and institute new things.
So we'd be patient with our mentees for sure. And we know that it's not.
Easy for kids, especially you're dealing with peer pressure and you want to impress other kids your age, and there's a whole host of things they're going through that have nothing to do with kicking a soccer ball yet affect the confidence on the soccer field. So yeah, it's challenging, there's no doubt about it. And but it's not impossible.
And we've seen some kids start to change. And we do it little by little, right, just little focusing, little little tidbits and little changes to the habits of Okay, what's the first thing I think about when I come off the field, Or that's the first thing I think about when I step onto the field. Little things like that where you slowly start to change habits.
When you have these Let me let me phrase it this way. How many mentees do you and Greg currently have? I know the answer is a lot, but can you put a number to it?
Probably two fifty?
Wow, Now that's cool, that's that's tremendous. Do you have do you and Greg have individual files on each mentee with for lack of a better phrase, progressions and growth charts. It's like, okay, first meeting was this? Then you know I noticed this. Do you keep notes on all of your mentees or is it just you know, how do you guys keep everyone straight so where you're in tune with their learning process going forward?
Yes, we do keep notes because yeah, it can be challenging, especially if you go six weeks, eight weeks between talking to a mentee.
You need a.
Refresher of Okay, where was this athlete at? And we sometimes have crossover, right, an athlete will do a couple of sessions with me, a couple of sessions with Greg, and we don't want to repeat things, So yeah, we take notes and we share notes, so it's hey, what did you talk about?
And then also, because.
We don't have a set curriculum, right, it's not like, hey, session one is this, Session two is this, Session three is this? So even if Greg's done two sessions with a kid, I don't know what he's.
Talked about, right, So yeah, we keep notes.
On every on every athlete that we've spoken to. That way, if I have one of Greg's kids, I shoot him a message, he share that with me.
So you know we're on the same page.
Can do you are you able to read Greg's handwriting?
Oh, John, everything's on the computer. Jad, no handwriting, Although I do think Greg's got good handwriting.
Do you understand his notes? I mean, are the notes like in actual sentence and paragraph forms where you can sit there and take the information and fully understand where he's coming from or is it shorthanded? You sit there and go, man, what did Garsa say here? And you have to dial him up and go what are you talking about?
That's a good question to ask Greg next time he's on because he takes he takes really good notes and write sentences.
And I'm more like, hey.
You know, two words here and three words there, and like, hey you know confidence and then three other words under confidence versus Greg, will you know, really having a little more elaborate note than I do. So I think that he gets it, you know. But I think it's also good because you know, we adapt what we talk about sometimes, and you know, I, for example, I don't know what
was I listening to or reading. I don't even know the other day and I heard something or saw something that was really cool, and I'm trying to find the note right.
Here, it was.
A person with a positive attitude can affect the group or another person by fifteen percent, but a negative person and approach to things can affect that same person or group by thirty.
Percent, twice as much impact on the negative.
Yeah.
So it's and we're talking about how valuable it is to be a good teammates and have a positive effect on other people, and also to be aware of said teammates that are or friends that are having positive or negative effects on you, because the negative effect is so much stronger than the positive effect, which makes sense when we think about you know, eighty percent of our thoughts daily or negative. So you know, everything negative is way
more stronger than it is positive. I've heard that in the past, as far as you have to think about something positively for like three or five times times longer than something negative for it to stick in your brain and impact it as much.
Yeah, definitely, So you know we anyways.
We so we adapt things that we talk about, and so when I read Greg's notes, I can see, oh, shoot, you know, he's talking about something we've never talked about, or you know, an example or a story or whatever, and then I can implement into mind.
See, now you opened another door that we're going to have to talk about next time. You're on about positive thoughts and negative thoughts, considering the numbers or twice as more impactful negatively than positively. But what I did want to discuss before you get out of here, other than the fact that are you flying to Phoenix for for the match tomorrow.
For actually driving to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina later today?
What's that you're taking your clubs?
I wish I'm taking the whole house, John, accept the clubs. My daughter's got a high school little softball tournaments for spring break down there, So the whole crew is.
Going, and you're bringing all of the bats and the balls and the gear. And I just have this vision of the Parkhurst Wagon Queen Family truckster just packed with softball gear in the back. It's like softball gear, softball gear, softball gear. Oh what are you packing for the trip? My bag that's about this size, you know. Literally, it's like, you know, yeah, I'll just wear the same thing because we don't have any room in the car to pack
anything involving actual clothing. It's softball first, and then we get to fill the rest of the car with like clothes and things. I see how this works exactly, I see, I see how this works. Atlanta United going to Cincinnati. MLS decides that they want to continue to play through international breaks, So it creates challenges for coaching staffs and
players and depth and all these kinds of things. How much of a challenge is it when you're early on in the year and you're getting relationships you know, you might be just passed the whole on my name is name tag part when you're trying to figure out, okay, this guy does this, this guy does this, and you get an international window in there, and then you're going
on the road. How much of a challenge is it to deal with a variable you thought you had and then you've got an international window and you've got to deal with the variable all over again.
Yeah, it's challenging, especially when your team that's put together a lot of new pieces this year and you're struggling to you know, create goals, score goals, and you're looking for that consistency.
That's tough.
But as with everything, it's opportunities for other players and you know, oh, Cincinnati, I don't think probably are too thrilled with how their season's going either right now, and I don't even know if Miles is healthy for the match. Yeah, we'll see, so you know, obviously if he's not, it makes life easier.
So yeah, but it's tough.
These international breaks are are challenging, but it's I will say, as a younger player on the roster, you look forward to these games because you know, like, hey, I might have my opportunity here to get more playing times throughout the rest of the season. So it's a really big game for those players in particular.
No doubt. So how long are you in myrtle with the softball a week?
Yes, Friday, Well they have to be down there tomorrow. We're driving halfway tonight and then come back on the next Friday or Saturday.
So is Decon going to be the security system while you're gone.
M Nope, She'll be in between the kids.
Oh oh, please take pictures.
I don't think there's going to be enough room for me in the car to turn around and take a picture.
I don't think you're going to be able to see anyone just stuff.
It's like you get pulled over, mister park Hurst. Were you able to see out the rear view all because there was a dog and a bunch of softball equipment.
Yeah exactly.
Thank you once again for flashing the olive in York, Jersey and being a part of our family here at SDH with what you guys are doing beyond goal. See there you go there it is, yeah, beautiful and yes, the light blue to go with the Navy and the possimalization there because we can't use the C word in front of blue considering your particular school. Thanks for dropping in especially, and just look, just be safe, have fun, rent some clubs. Maybe you could do that, and you know,
maybe you could find some time to steal. Just be safe getting down there, be safe getting back. We'll catch up with you soon, and obviously we'll have matches to talk about, involving trips to Phoenix and Loudon for the Rhode Island f C getting ready for Oakland Roots April fit at the Oakland Coliseum, complete with rats and raccoons and probably twenty five thousand people. Be safe, my friend. Thanks as always, We'll catch up with you soon.
Thanks Jean, every great weekend.