Why can’t I stop drinking once I start? Have you ever wondered this or beat yourself for not having enough self-control? There’s a pathway in the brain called the go, no-go pathway and I’ve been wanting to talk about it for a long time but haven’t found the right info until now. When you want to make a decision, like you want to moderate and stop drinking after 2 drinks, the go, no-go decision making pathway in your brain does it’s thing and you either continue on drinking, which is the go path,...
Nov 11, 2022•13 min•Ep. 125
I celebrate 3 years of sobriety on November 9th and each year I record an episode about the past year of sobriety and how it went. What stood out to me the most this year is that I am getting tired of sharing my story and I feel weird about being personal. Lately, I have been asked to share my story a lot on other podcasts. I think sharing our stories is very important because it helps newbies or people who are struggling to accept they need to get sober might see themselves in your story and re...
Nov 04, 2022•15 min•Ep. 124
Can’t imagine your life without alcohol? Are you unsure if you truly have a problem and need to quit drinking? Maybe you look around and think, “everyone drinks like I do, I’m not that bad”. That’s why I asked Dr. Matt Glowiak, PhD, LCPC, CAADC, NCC, to join us and talk about the difference between a heavy or daily drinker and someone who has alcohol use disorder. In this episode you’ll learn how we normalize our drinking, why it’s hard for us to control our drinking, what to do if you can’t ima...
Oct 28, 2022•40 min•Ep. 123
Want an easy way to deal with cravings and negative emotions? Want to build back some of the brain volume you may have lost from drinking 1,000 drinks? Well, the answer is exercise! I hope you didn’t just roll your eyes at me. It’s true. We are usually looking for this complicated secret that’s going to help our sobriety, but usually, it’s the simple things that have the biggest impact. The trick is just finding a way to be okay with the simple things. In this episode we’re going to talk about h...
Oct 21, 2022•16 min•Ep. 122
Many of us will go back and forth between drinking and not drinking for years, and what holds us back is this idea that our drinking isn’t “that bad”. So what are we supposed to do if our drinking makes us unhappy, but we haven’t experienced a rock bottom yet? You may beat yourself up for not being motivated enough to quit or wishing you had enough self-discipline or courage, but it has nothing to do with that. That’s why I asked Eric Zimmer, behavior coach and host of the top podcast The One Yo...
Oct 14, 2022•44 min•Ep. 121
Everyone knows chronic stress is bad, but did you know that chronic stress can actually change your brain? And just like everything else we talk about, it can change the brain in ways that makes it easier to be stressed or to turn to something like alcohol to attempt to cope. In this episode you’ll learn what chronic stress does to the brain, results from the 2022 Stress in America Survey, and how you can turn some bad stress into good stress. What to listen to next: E119: Why We Can't Cope E67:...
Oct 07, 2022•19 min•Ep. 120
Some people just can’t cope. It’s not because they’re weak-willed losers, but it can definitely make us feel like that is the reason. I had a stressful situation last week and I wanted to understand why I escalated it so much in my mind. In this episode I want to share with you why some of us just can’t cope. Both nature and nurture is involved, and at the end of the episode I will share how you can get started on becoming more resilient so you can handle stress in a way that you won’t regret la...
Sep 30, 2022•18 min•Ep. 119
Sober sex can be very intimidating, especially if you believe alcohol helps you feel more confident, comfortable, and in the mood for sex. I’m joined by Dr. Nazanin Moali, host of the Sexology Podcast, to discuss why we think alcohol is essential for sex, why sober sex can be so scary, and tips for singles and couples who are trying to get comfortable with sober sex. Dr. Moali shares strategies for anyone to begin implementing in their sex life whether you are single or in a relationship, and we...
Sep 23, 2022•46 min•Ep. 118
When someone quits drinking for good they usually say something like, “it just feels different this time”. That’s how I felt too this time around. It just felt different. So why did it click for me after 7 years of drinking but maybe it took you 20 or maybe it hasn’t clicked for you at all yet? In this episode you’ll learn how alcohol impacts our decision making process to put us into auto-pilot, how this continues into early sobriety, and what you can do to get yourself out of auto-pilot. You’l...
Sep 16, 2022•20 min•Ep. 117
Have you ever wished you could just be “normal”? I used to think that all the time and sometimes I still do. Feeling envious of people who can have 1 drink and move on is totally normal, but we have to be careful that this doesn’t lead into thinking trying to moderate is a good idea or lead us into victim mentality. In this episode you’ll learn about drinking envy, how it can hurt your sobriety, and what to do if this is something you really struggle with. What to listen to next: E103: Why We Us...
Sep 09, 2022•18 min•Ep. 116
If you’ve been in sober Facebook groups then you have probably seen some comments saying “you’re just not ready yet” or maybe they’ve even been said to you before. These comments used to infuriate me, but now that I’m sober I see how true it is. It’s a long process to get ready to quit drinking, and most of the time we say we want to stop drinking when really we just want to drink less. One important step you can take is acknowledging that maybe you don’t want to actually quit, maybe you just wa...
Sep 02, 2022•18 min•Ep. 115
When you think about quitting drinking you might feel sad and anxious at the thought of never drinking again. How is it even possible to have a good life without drinking alcohol? We have all of these beliefs that alcohol helps and it’s essential for happiness and connection, but it’s really not. It’s just a drink. We rationalize why it’s helpful because we’re obsessed with it, but when we get some distance we see that alcohol was causing more bad than good. These beliefs, or positive alcohol ex...
Aug 26, 2022•18 min•Ep. 114
I told you recently about how I quit my full time job to work for myself, but I didn’t tell you what I was doing. In this episode I want to fill you in on my business, how that impacts you, and what I’ve been up to this summer while preparing for this launch. I’m going to tell you the story of my business from the very beginning and all the challenges I faced on the path to becoming a business owner. What to listen to next: E25: Strategies for Socializing Sober E106: The Amygdala Hijack + Life U...
Aug 19, 2022•28 min•Ep. 113
Have you noticed that you’re drinking more coffee in sobriety? Recent surveys from the National Coffee Association have found that 70% of Americans drink coffee every week, and 62% drink it daily. Surveys on people in AA found that 90% drink coffee daily. That’s a big difference. Lots of people recently have been mentioning that they drink way more coffee in recovery, so Gill thought she'd try to find out why we do that. In this episode you’ll learn how caffeine affects the brain, how the brain ...
Aug 12, 2022•15 min•Ep. 112
Drinking alone let's us drink the way we really want to, but it greatly increases your risk of developing alcohol use disorder. In this episode, Gill will describe some recent studies from the past few years about solitary drinking, and one study even called it “serious drinking”. In this episode you’ll learn more about how drinking alone increases the risk of developing a problem and especially developing a severe problem. You’ll learn why drinking alone becomes so attractive to us and how gett...
Aug 05, 2022•17 min•Ep. 111
Relapse can seem to come out of nowhere and just get you. Many people say they have no idea why they drank, they just did. This is really dangerous because if you don’t know what got you, then how can you protect yourself from it next time? In this episode you’ll learn 5 reasons why people relapse. This is not a comprehensive list, but it will give you some ideas on what to work on. What to listen to next: E9: From Chronic Day Ones to Forever Sobriety E59: What to Expect When You Stop Drinking E...
Jul 29, 2022•18 min•Ep. 110
A study published this week in The Lancet found that people under 40 shouldn’t drink alcohol at all. This was a big study that looked at a lot of data, so in this episode Gill explains where the data came from, what they focused their analysis on, and the outcomes. Since this study is calling for the guidelines to be revisited, she also explains how the guidelines are even determined in the first place. You’ll learn about the limits of this study, some criticisms about its conclusions, and how s...
Jul 22, 2022•14 min•Ep. 109
We drink expecting all of these good things to keep coming our way, but there’s a limit to the amount of alcohol that causes pleasure and good feelings. If you continue to drink after that point, you only get the bad stuff. In this episode you’ll learn why this drink limit exists and what’s going on in the brain to cause the discomfort, anxiety, depression and an emptiness that we experience after the alcohol wears off, and how opioid antagonists like Naloxone and Naltrexone work in the brain. G...
Jul 15, 2022•16 min•Ep. 108
Most of us have no idea what to expect when we stop drinking because usually when we quit we are so ashamed we just try to get through the beginning. In this episode Gill explains 10 things that happen when you quit drinking that no one is talking about. We hear people online say how grateful they are for hangover free mornings and sober sleep, but what about dreaming that you drink alcohol? So this episode is about the positives, but mostly the unexpected neutrals or negatives that you encounte...
Jul 08, 2022•21 min•Ep. 107
Gill discusses overwhelm. Getting overwhelmed is one reason we turn to alcohol. Maybe you drank after some sober time and then afterwards you don’t even know why you did. Or maybe you find yourself feeling out of control and needing alcohol or food to bring you back down. In this episode, you’ll learn about something called the amygdala hijack which prevents our rational thinking brain from working correctly. She explains what is happening in the brain when we get overwhelmed, how this tactic is...
Jul 01, 2022•21 min•Ep. 106
Gill discusses willpower. A lot of us believe that we just need more willpower and then we’ll be able to stay sober, and maybe you’ve even shamed yourself for not having enough willpower to control your drinking. In this episode she defines what willpower is, because the definition is important for us to understand what it means to have willpower or not. You’ll learn why willpower works for some people and doesn’t work for others, what is going on in the brain for a person who struggles with ins...
Jun 24, 2022•18 min•Ep. 105
Gill welcomes Dr. Bhatt, MD, MRO to the podcast. We think that alcohol helps us cope with our problems, but in reality, alcohol prevents us from learning how to deal with life. Once we stop drinking, we have no idea how to handle anything. Dr. Bhatt helps us understand resilience- where it comes from, how addiction breaks it down, and what steps you can take to improve your resilience. Dr. Ashish Bhatt, MD, MRO, is recognized as a leading physician, addiction medicine specialist, and psychiatris...
Jun 17, 2022•43 min•Ep. 104
Gill discusses why we use alcohol to enhance our experiences. One of the main reasons people use alcohol is for enhancement. With the nice weather arriving, this is the perfect time to discuss enhancing our experience with alcohol. Nice weather is a trigger and many of us consider drinking again or that maybe we can moderate now. In this episode you’ll learn why we drink for enhancement, how this is linked to problematic drinking, and what you can do if you’re struggling with wanting to drink to...
Jun 10, 2022•13 min•Ep. 103
Gill welcomes Beth Bowen, LMSW to the show. This episode is your guide to understanding why we use alcohol to attempt to regulate our nervous system and calm us down. Alcohol is a quick fix that brings down intolerable emotions, but drinking to cope makes us even less tolerant of big emotions in the future. In this episode you’ll learn: Beth’s experience working with veterans and in the emergency room as a social worker The idea of “knowing better” better but not being able to change your drinki...
Jun 03, 2022•51 min•Ep. 102
Gill discusses creativity and alcohol. Creativity is a balance between our logical side and our spontaneous side. Humanity’s ability to be creative is essential for our technological and cultural progression. A common belief is that alcohol unlocks creativity, so we’re going to explore that belief in this episode. You’ll learn what creativity is, what’s going on in the brain while we’re being creative, and what the research says about whether or not alcohol helps us be more creative. If you’ve f...
May 27, 2022•15 min•Ep. 101
Gill welcomes Dr. Anna Lembke back to the podcast. You may remember Dr. Lembke from episode 76, which was one of the most popular episodes of all time. Dr. Lembke is a professor of psychiatry at Stanford University School of Medicine and chief of the Stanford Addiction Medicine Dual Diagnosis Clinic. Her book, Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence, an instant New York Times bestseller, explores how to moderate compulsive overconsumption in a dopamine-overloaded world. In this...
May 20, 2022•42 min•Ep. 100
Gill discusses neuroplasticity. There’s an invisible line that we all cross, which marks the transition from social drinking into problematic drinking. The time it takes for you to cross the line depends on your genetics, how vulnerable your brain is to alcohol-induced changes, your life circumstances, how young you begin drinking, and more. Alcohol damages and changes our brains when we drink heavily for extended periods of time. Pathways are carved into the brain as we train our brains to rely...
May 13, 2022•17 min•Ep. 99
Gill discusses emotion intensity. Just like we all don’t experience alcohol the same, meaning some people will be more sensitive to the effects of pleasure and relaxation, we don’t all experience emotions the same way either. Some people have very intense emotional reactions to very simple, everyday things and that just makes life a lot more challenging. When we drink, we have extreme highs and lows, but some of us are naturally prone to extreme highs and lows. Research has found that people who...
May 06, 2022•19 min•Ep. 98
Gill discusses our ability to learn and adapt from our experiences. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, and that doesn’t feel too far off from what we do with our drinking. We always seem to believe it’s going to be different this time, even when it’s consistently been horrible every single time before. In this episode you’ll learn about cognitive flexibility, how being inflexible greatly increases the risk of developing a probl...
Apr 29, 2022•18 min•Ep. 97
Gill discusses sugar cravings. It’s very common to go from having no interest in desserts or sweets at all to all of a sudden be craving them all the time once you stop drinking. There’s split advice on this in the sober community. Some say to just eat the sugar and worry about it later once you’re more comfortable with not drinking, and there are other people who say to avoid sugar entirely. In episode 41 she explained in detail why we crave sugar in sobriety, and in this episode she covers wha...
Apr 22, 2022•16 min•Ep. 96
