Send us a text Thank you for supporting the Sober Friends Podcast for 100 Episodes! We started this in November 2020 as a way of spreading the message of hope that recovery is possible, when outside meetings were still very hard to find, in person. We will continue to spread the message that sobriety is possible, no matter your path to get there. For our 100th episode, Matt J takes this one solo, talking about his 25th college reunion in October. Matt's college experience was a wet one, full of ...
Nov 15, 2022•32 min•Ep. 101
Send us a text What does it mean when we hear people say, "Don't Stop Before The Miracle Happens?" It means toughing it out during the hard times, now matter how long it takes. Because if you do the work long enough, you will be able to handle life on life's terms, without taking a drink. On this episode, Matt, Steve and John talk about their own experiences with the impatience it takes to get to the point where you look back and say, "I don't need that drink anymore to deal with this problem," ...
Nov 08, 2022•35 min•Ep. 100
Send us a text “I am responsible, when anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of AA always to be there, and for that I am responsible.” -AA Responsibility Statement Steve C says that his program of recovery is never better than when he’s working with another alcoholic and he has a much better sobriety. It brings us to the question, “Why do we do this podcast?” We get together each week not just for the glory and riches (there are none), but to find another way to bring recovery ...
Nov 01, 2022•32 min•Ep. 99
Send us a text Pete B joins us again this week for more of his emotional journey from drug addiction. Pete discusses how his friend George got him to come back again after some of the guys in the group said Pete would not last. George became his sponsor and was able to guide him on a path of 40 years of sobriety. In this episode, Pete discusses: Getting involved in NA service NA having to stop using the AA Literature, and getting involved in writing the first literature Spending weekends in jail...
Oct 25, 2022•41 min•Ep. 98
Send us a text Pete B is a veteran of the Navy. His mother was a member of Alcoholics Anonymous and father belonged to Al-Anon. Pete's defense mechanism was to be the family joker. Later on, he joined the military and got into a lot of jams due to his use of drugs and alcohol, including a black out in Israel. This episode is incredibly emotional and Pete is very vulnerable with his experiences, including an out of body experience and the credit he gives his best friend from bringing him back, on...
Oct 18, 2022•49 min•Ep. 97
Send us a text Kelly G shared her story in Episode 44. She comes back a year later and now over 600 days sober and shares how she's continued to grow in recovery. In our quest to know more about the different ways people get sober, Kelly is not a member of AA and tells us her method of recovery. Lots and lots of Sober Podcasts Connecting with folks on Instagram Cafe RE via Recovery Elevator Kelly's first appearance in Episode 44 was one of our most listened to and well received episodes. The tim...
Oct 11, 2022•42 min•Ep. 96
Send us a text "God, grant us the serenity, to accept the things we can not change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference." "And thats the hard part." -Jim A. A Wise Old Timer Change has come to Matt's place of employment and knowing it was coming was really scary. Was he going to lose his job? Turns out, no. He survived a change to the business and others were not so lucky. It got John and Matt thinking about change and how it trips up alcoholics and tho...
Oct 04, 2022•32 min•Ep. 95
Send us a text Stress is difficult to handle before getting sober. We used to drink to handle how we felt about stress. When alcohol is removed, we have to find another way of dealing with stress so it does not overwhelm us and cause us to shut down. A friend reached out to Matt, venting and for advice on how to handle stress. It helped Matt to hear his friend's issue and made him think too. What causes us stress and what is a healthy way of dealing with it? On this edition of the Sober Friends ...
Sep 27, 2022•34 min•Ep. 94
Send us a text Chris from the UK sponsored this episode and bought us 3 coffees at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberfriendspod . By purchasing 3 coffees, Chris is ensuring the show will be available for the new guy and anyone needing to hear the message the recovery is possible. Lisa Gray is the founder of A Promise to Jordan. Lisa lost her son Jordan Arakelian on June 30, 2018, at the age of 24. As Lisa held Jordan for the last time, she made a promise to him to fight against the disease of op...
Sep 20, 2022•42 min•Ep. 93
Send us a text The show is brought to you by Sally, who bought us 3 cups of coffee at Buymeacoffee.com/Soberfriendspod . If you, like Sally think it's important to get the message that sobriety is possible for the new guy, consider a donation to Buymeacoffee.com/Soberfriendspod . When we first get sober, we are flying on a pink cloud. Everything is new, your method of sobriety is exciting and you are willing to put in every effort. Then life gets better and we have the tools to get through life ...
Sep 12, 2022•33 min•Ep. 92
Send us a text Alcoholic behavior, obviously shows up when you are drinking. Just because you get sober and don't drink, doesn't mean your alcoholic behavior goes away. If you don't work on your recovery, this behavior can come back right, quick! We can behave alcoholically when the following happens: Not going to meetings Calling other alcoholics Practicing the principals of 12 step programs You ever get told by your significant other, "Hey, you going to a meeting tonight?" Those around us know...
Sep 06, 2022•34 min•Ep. 91
Send us a text Sober people are on platform at all times. One slip up and it's easy for those around to point out why you are not walking the walk. John kicked things off talking about a new sponsee who was going to a sober retreat. John didn't want to go, but an oldtimer reminded him, that the sponsee can't go to these without the guidance of his sponsor. There are so many ways sober people have a responsibility to be the change they want the world to be: Acting with kindness and being availabl...
Aug 30, 2022•37 min•Ep. 90
Send us a text Oh boy. I bet we get everyone upset with this episode. People who go to AA. People who don't go to AA. We go through it all with what we feel are very realistic views on why some people don't go to AA and how 12 step programs are not perfect and how there can be some things that legit turn people off. Credit where credit is due. This episode was inspired by Episode 36 of the Sober Powered Podcast , " Your Sober Pal Tells us What AA is Like ." In the book, "Alcoholics Anonymous," B...
Aug 23, 2022•45 min•Ep. 89
Send us a text This week's guest is Matt, who started drinking at 13. Matt was a high achiever, doing well in college and Grad school. He had a family and a great job. And he was an alcoholic. A lot of you will see yourself in Matt. He was socially awkward until he found alcohol. He had to be careful in public drinking. Drinking at home, was another story. He drank like he did in college, even during his 30's. He tried AA, had a sponsor and had a relapse. Driving home with his wife and in laws i...
Aug 16, 2022•52 min•Ep. 88
Send us a text One of the Sober Instagram accounts we find the most inspiring is @jenmovesforward . Jen joins us this week to talk about her story, overcoming relapse, making recovery her career and how fitness is part of how she stays sober. In this Sober Friends Episode Jen tells us: How she started using in her teens Knowing in her 20's that she had a problem Losing relationships over drugs and alcohol Almost losing her current husband Overcoming relapse and finding a career in the recovery w...
Aug 02, 2022•54 min•Ep. 87
Send us a text The root of our alcoholism and our alcoholic thinking is our character defects. The 12 Steps are instrumental in getting through our character defects, especially with Steps 4 and 5. Many of our character defects are associated with fear and ego. Character defects have a root in selfishness and doing for others is a way to bust them. Here are ways to work on a character defect: Acknowledgement of the defect Prayer Talk to another alcoholic Join Steve and Matt as we talk about Char...
Jul 26, 2022•35 min•Ep. 86
Send us a text Matt was inspired by Gill Tietz's Sober Powered episode, Staying Sober During the Holidays . The episode is much less staying sober during the holidays, and more staying sober at events where booze is available. Practicable advice for those in recovery for anytime. BBQs Work parties Concerts Ect John, Matt and Steve talked about their experience being on guard for the unguarded moment. In this episode we talk about: Keeping your drink in your hand. If you put it down, get another ...
Jul 19, 2022•37 min•Ep. 85
Send us a text The show is brought to you by Sean, who bought us a coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberfriendspod . Sean thought it was important to put the show in the newcomer's ear. Recovery is not just for the person getting sober. Recovery affects the family too. For us, our family was very happy when we put the bottle down. But they had a hard time understanding all these meetings we had to go to and all these drunks running through our house. For Matt, it was a place of friction f...
Jul 12, 2022•38 min•Ep. 84
Send us a text Ryan M has made recovery a huge part of his life. He didn't get sober, he got involved. Ryan has been part of the service culture of AA from his entire time getting sober (March 2013). Coming into the program in his early 30's, he was attracted to the younger people in his 12 step group and got involved the the Young People in AA organizations. If you go to a service group in Ryan's area, chances are you will run into him. It was not always like that. During his drinking career, R...
Jul 05, 2022•1 hr 9 min•Ep. 83
Send us a text Vacation is a dangerous time for those of us with problem drinking. Vacation is a great time to suspend all the rules and drink as much as we want. Hey, it's 5pm somewhere! Am I right? Or am I right! On this episode of the Sober Friends podcast, Matt, Steve and John talk about the trap that vacation can cause for us. It's a risky time because we have time on our hands. We talk about how to overcome the temptation on vacation and have a plan: Get a list of phone numbers from people...
Jun 28, 2022•37 min•Ep. 82
Send us a text The dictionary definitions of "Abstinence" and "Sobriety" look very similar. For the purpose of living a happy, joyous and free life in recovery, they can mean very different things. Overall, Matt, Steve and John identified Abstinent as being dry. This is a state where alcohol has been removed but nothing has come in to replace it. To get sober, you have to replace alcohol as the solution to your problems. We drank because it numbed the pain or it enhanced the joy. Being sober mea...
Jun 21, 2022•34 min•Ep. 81
Send us a text For those of us with a drinking problem, one of the symptoms was isolation and putting up walls to drive others away. Once some of us get sober we still have a hard time letting others in. If you discovered what I really am like, you'd see I was a fraud, an awful person and someone you'd be repelled by. Do you feel this way sometimes? John, Steven and Matt discuss the inability to get intimate with our chosen pack and how not being able to get vulnerable an honest can have disastr...
Jun 14, 2022•38 min•Ep. 80
Send us a text It’s so easy to focus on the bad stuff in life and even easier to correlate them. Matt has had some issues with his house and financing the repairs. At every corner, he’s run into roadblocks (see last week’s episode). Matt’s therapist posed a question: “Have you considered a gratitude list?” So instead of focusing on all the bad stuff, why not look at what good you still have? In this episode of the Sober Friends podcast we talk about staying grateful when life gives you lemons an...
Jun 07, 2022•36 min•Ep. 79
Send us a text Oh my! Financial insecurity. It's one of those fears that can make you drink and can derail any period of recovery. One of the AA Promises says: " Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us." Does that mean if financial insecurity pops up again, you've been doing the program incorrectly? Matt J has some financial issues lately. Along with a lot going on at work and in his home life, the financial concerns of a home project have become overwhelming. Instead of sufferin...
May 31, 2022•34 min•Ep. 78
Send us a text In this compelling episode of the Sober Friends podcast, join Matt, Steve, and John as they dive deep into a powerful story of overcoming addiction and finding hope. As a police officer, Steve shares candidly about the constant state of hypervigilance he experienced on the job and how it intertwined with symptoms of PTSD and alcoholism. From the early days of experimentation with alcohol to navigating college and beyond, Steve's journey sheds light on the complexities of addiction...
May 24, 2022•47 min•Ep. 77
Send us a text Today’s show is dedicated to the memory of Frank C. He helped so many in East Hartford, CT and the surrounding area. When I got sober, I marveled at the old timer. They had respect of the room. They looked content and they were sober. Not just sober, really, really sober with a lot of years. How the hell did they do it? Was it the way they crossed their legs? I was determined to find out, because I wanted to be a geezer some day too! There comes a time that the old timer who was t...
May 17, 2022•34 min•Ep. 76
Send us a text The episode is sponsored by Victor, who became a member at Buy Me a Coffee and agreed to do so each month. With people like Victor, we can remain self supporting through our own contributions and bring the message to the new guy. Arlina Allen is the host of the One Day at a Time Podcast. You can find her at https://odaatchat.com/ or wherever you get your podcasts. In this show Arlina talks about Bottles, bags and blue jeans Change in AA The different paths of recovery We had so mu...
May 10, 2022•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 75
Send us a text We got to know Danielle last week, as she reached out to the show on how to handle a disruptive alcoholic at a meeting. After talking to her, we realized her story would really help the new guy as she brings a remarkable story of recovery. Danielle started drinking, one year after her mother died of ovarian cancer at age 13. She was always sad and played the victim card, not knowing how to fit in. Danielle dealt with suicidal thoughts and had a terrible time asking for help. In ha...
May 03, 2022•44 min•Ep. 74
Send us a text Our original intent with this episode was to talk about how we deal with active alcoholics, while now in recovery. While soliciting some questions on Instagram, Danielle reached out with an issue she is having at her home group. There is an active alcoholic who comes into the meeting and is disruptive. This happens regularly. She wanted some help on what to do in this situation. If you attend 12 step meetings, this could be an issue that has come up. If not, it may in the future a...
Apr 26, 2022•33 min•Ep. 73
Send us a text When we were drinking, alcohol was our solution. It was not just our problem. Once we got sober, we had to find a solution to life's problems since our old best friend was taken away. The next level of sobriety is not just being dry, but to have control of how you feel. In this episode, John, Steve and Matt talk emotional sobriety and what it means to them: Being ok feeling the emotion, but not having to lash out and having control The place the 12 steps play Prayer and how a high...
Apr 19, 2022•38 min•Ep. 72
