E144: Navigating Life's Twists: From Worries to Triumphs - podcast episode cover

E144: Navigating Life's Twists: From Worries to Triumphs

Sep 12, 202334 minEp. 144
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Step into a world where candid conversations lead to self-discovery and triumphs. In this episode, we unravel the intricate dance between worries, anxieties, and the exhilaration of embracing life's opportunities. Join us as Matt and Steve, open up about their personal journeys through challenges, change, and growth.

From the unexpecteds financial curveballs that can make us catch our breath, to the demands of parenting and supporting our children's passions, this episode is a roller coaster of relatable experiences. Matt shares the real anxieties of parenting, balancing finances, and supporting a child's dreams. Meanwhile, Steve recounts tales of corporate upheavals and the "imposter syndrome" that can creep in even when success is achieved.

As they delve into their pasts, you'll hear echoes of your own worries and triumphs. Are you a parent caught in the whirlwind of funding your child's dreams? Or maybe you're navigating a shifting career landscape, just as Matt and Steve have. Whether you're on the road to recovery or simply seeking inspiration, this episode delivers relatable stories that resonate.

Tune in to discover how they've conquered their worries, the power of seeking support from fellow alcoholics, and the lessons learned from embracing the unknown. Join Matt and Steve as they provide a candid, engaging, and often humorous exploration of life's ups and downs. After all, it's not the worries that define us, but the resilience and growth that follow.

If you're ready to feel understood, motivated, and uplifted, this episode is your ticket to navigating life's twists with wisdom, humor, and the unwavering belief that triumphs await on the other side.






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Transcript

Matt

If you don't have worries and anxiety, you are not a good alcoholic and you're not a good recovered alcoholic in good standing. Thought I'd be rid of this when I went through the 12 steps. And Steve, I am not. They still pop up. How about you? You're a you have a lot more sobriety than me. You've been in a program on and off for many decades. More than me. You must be cured.

Steve

Far from cured. I do have a lot less stress and anxiety. I think that might be where we are in our lives more than

Matt

Yep.

Steve

maybe anything else. Because when I was at your point in your life, you know, when I was at your age and your point with three children, I had two. I was about the same age. And although I didn't work a program as well as you did at the time, I had a lot of anxiety, stress, all that kind of stuff was coming out. So and, you know, I'm older and and, you know, got things got important stuff done so far in my life. So I can I can relax a little bit more and I don't feel

stressed out about things. Right. the financial and, you know, I'm not wealthy, but the financial ends. Okay? And so the day to day stuff. And plus the truth is that as I have so much gratitude for my life today, I really do that it's easy for me to really put things in perspective and realize that most of the shit that I used to worry about and stuff that I still worry about at times really don't, you know, add up to a hill of beans, as they like to say. So.

Matt

This is always the case. And I never remember that. And I will tell people I work with five months from now, six months from now. Will you remember what you're worried about?

Steve

Right.

Matt

And the answer is probably

Steve

Yeah.

Matt

no. I will tell you this, that I'm breaking this year, that this this goes into. You probably shouldn't worry and things will work out. My wife pulled me aside today, so there are some money issues that we have. Mostly because we had to buy outright a minivan back in January and the monthly payment is much higher than what we had before and even since January. Still trying to figure out we

Steve

Mm

Matt

have this bigger chunk of money going out. What do we need to do here? We had to roll back

Steve

hmm.

Matt

our 41k contributions.

Steve

Right.

Matt

We're still contributing, but we were contributing a lot and we had to roll that back. Well, my wife pulled me aside today and said in the area that they're in, there are some financial difficulties. She said, We're in financial ruin. That is her her quote. And they might be doing some downsizing. But what she also said is, but my boss wants to bring me in and make

Steve

Mm hmm.

Matt

me the chief of staff. That would be her title and it would be

Steve

hmm.

Matt

a lot more money.

Steve

Yeah. Right. It.

Matt

Now,

Steve

It

Matt

I'm sure

Steve

does

Matt

I work

Steve

help.

Matt

five times harder than her, but it does help.

Steve

Right. sounds impressive.

Matt

She's embarrassed. She

Steve

listen,

Matt

goes, I don't want to be called the chief

Steve

you know,

Matt

of

Steve

you

Matt

staff,

Steve

guys

Matt

but

Steve

figure

Matt

that's

Steve

that

Matt

that's

Steve

out,

Matt

what

Steve

and

Matt

her title

Steve

it's

Matt

would be.

Steve

something

Matt

The chief

Steve

that

Matt

of

Steve

we've

Matt

staff. This is always the case. And I never remember that. And I will tell people I work with five months from now, six months from now. Will you remember what you're worried about? And the answer is probably no. I will tell you this, that I'm breaking this year, that this this goes into. You probably shouldn't worry and things will work out. My wife pulled me aside today, so there are some money issues that we

have. Mostly because we had to buy outright a minivan back in January and the monthly payment is much higher than what we had before and even since January. Still trying to figure out we have this bigger chunk of money going out. What do we need to do here? We had to roll back our 41k contributions. We're still contributing, but we were contributing a lot and we had to roll that back. Well, my wife pulled me aside today and said in the area that they're in, there are some financial

difficulties. She said, We're in financial ruin. That is her her quote. And they might be doing some downsizing. But what she also said is, but my boss wants to bring me in and make me the chief of staff. That would be her title and it would be a lot more money. Now, I'm sure I work five times harder than her, but it does help. She's embarrassed. She goes, I don't want to be called the chief of staff, but that's that's what her title would be. The chief of staff. This is

always the case. And I never remember that. And I will tell people I work with five months from now, six months from now. Will you remember what you're worried about? And the answer is probably no. I will tell you this, that I'm breaking this year, that this this goes into. You probably shouldn't worry and things will work out. My wife pulled me aside today, so there are some money issues that we

have. Mostly because we had to buy outright a minivan back in January and the monthly payment is much higher than what we had before even since January. Still trying to figure out we have this bigger chunk of money going out. What do we need to do here? We had to roll back our 41k contributions. We're still contributing, but we were contributing a lot and we had to roll that back. Well, my wife pulled me aside today and said in the area that they're in, there are some financial

difficulties. She said, We're in financial ruin. That is her her quote. And they might be doing some downsizing. But what she also said is, but my boss wants to bring me in and make me the chief of staff. That would be her title and it would be a lot more money. Now, I'm sure I work five times harder than her, but it does help. She's embarrassed. She goes, I don't want to be called the chief of staff, but that's that's what her title would be. The chief of staff. Yeah. Yeah.

Steve

all that I've done the same thing I've been in my life where I was able to contribute a lot to my for one case and then things changed. I was a commission salesperson. What was happening to me is like, is my is my pay plan would change all the time. And I would go from making really good commissions to not being able to make commissions. Like literally overnight. It seemed like whenever that new plan come out was like, it might take me two or three months and those were

big hits. Half of my pay was comp, it was salary, and half of my pay was based upon, commissions.

Matt

And.

Steve

So, you know, if I lose three months, that's I'm losing like, you know, I'm losing a good chunk of money if I'm, if I'm not getting any commission for those three months. So there were times when I did that. There were times when I had to cut back. I can remember changing, you know, I'm a big environmental type person as much as possible. I can remember years ago I went to completely

renewables. And this is like when they were first out, it was a lot more expensive to go to completely renewables on my electric bill. and then things changed at work and I had a, I had to get out of that because too expensive for me, right? So we all go through those. My point is we all go through those things,

Matt

hmm.

Steve

you and in your wife, you'll figure it out. It's not easy. It's not easy to do that stuff. It's always, you know, stressful. Right. And that's what we talk about. Stressful. I've been in that position. I really have. And this is an I'm thankful that I'm not today, but I certainly understand and could have a lot of empathy for where you're at right now.

Matt

We have a good problem that we ran into last night, but not a financial one that I want to pay for. My son goes to this volleyball camp three days a week. He. It's two games, and another one is beach volleyball outsides to work on his game. He just started volleyball, and he's really gotten into it. And I guess one of the coach runs this volleyball camp. It's probably one of the top volleyball camps in Connecticut.

Lot of UConn Husky people go through there and somebody came aside and said to my wife, you know, he's pretty good. He's got a lot of talent. He should have one on one coaching

Steve

Wow.

Matt

and it would be $75 an hour.

Steve

Wow. Yeah.

Matt

And she told me that about Ready to Scream or you could split it and it would be like $35 for a half hour. It's like, okay, so there's still that. I'm a little suspicious of this guy, so I think it is worth talking to. My son's coach. But that's a strange place to be of. Hey, we think your son is this good. He would benefit from

Steve

But.

Matt

one

Steve

And

Matt

on

Steve

I'm

Matt

one

Steve

sure

Matt

coaching.

Steve

he would. And a lot

Matt

Like

Steve

of that

Matt

the expensive

Steve

is

Matt

stuff? We have a good problem that we ran into last night, but not a financial one that I want to pay for. My son goes to this volleyball camp three days a week. He. It's two games, and another one is beach volleyball outsides to work on his game. He just started volleyball, and he's really gotten into it. And I guess one of the coach runs this volleyball camp. It's probably one of the top volleyball camps

in Connecticut. Lot of UConn Husky people go through there and somebody came aside and said to my wife, you know, he's pretty good. He's got a lot of talent. He should have one on one coaching and it would be $75 an hour. And she told me that about Ready to Scream or you could split it and it would be like $35 for a half hour. It's like, okay, so there's still that. I'm a little suspicious of this guy, so I think it is worth talking to. My son's coach. But that's a strange place to be of.

Hey, we think your son is this good. He would benefit from one on one coaching. Like the expensive stuff? We have a good problem that we ran into last night, but not a financial one that I want to pay for. My son goes to this volleyball camp three days a week. He. It's two games, and another one is beach volleyball outsides to work on his game. He just started volleyball, and he's really gotten into it. And I guess one of the coach runs this

volleyball camp. It's probably one of the top volleyball camps in Connecticut. Lot of UConn Husky people go through there and somebody came aside and said to my wife, you know, he's pretty good. He's got a lot of talent. He should have one on one coaching and it would be $75 an hour. And she told me that about Ready to Scream or you could split it and it would be like $35 for a half hour. It's like, okay, so there's still that. I'm a little suspicious of this guy, so I think it is worth

talking to. My son's coach. But that's a strange place to be of. Hey, we think your son is this good. He would benefit from one on one coaching. Like the expensive stuff? We have a good problem that we ran into last night, but not a financial one that I want to pay for. My son goes to this volleyball camp three days a week. He. It's two games, and another one is beach volleyball outsides to work on his game. He just started volleyball, and he's really

gotten into it. And I guess one of the coach runs this volleyball camp. It's probably one of the top volleyball camps in Connecticut. Lot of UConn Husky people go through there and somebody came aside and said to my wife, you know, he's pretty good. He's got a lot of talent. He should have one on one coaching and it would be $75 an hour. And she told me that about Ready to Scream or you could split it and it would be like $35 for a half hour. It's like, okay, so there's still

that. I'm a little suspicious of this guy, so I think it is worth talking to. My son's coach. But that's a strange place to be of. Hey, we think your son is this good. He would benefit from one on one coaching. Like the expensive stuff?

Steve

right is can you afford it? And, you know, is it something that you want to pursue? My my daughter played premier soccer so above travel league. Right Pretty you know, not a really high end premier but still really, really good soccer. And I always like to tell people like my daughter also played in school and her, you know, her school coach is probably the geography teacher and and her premier soccer league. Her coach was an all American soccer player from the

University of Connecticut. Right. Like, that was a difference in quality. You had an all-American guy, you know, teaching and and that was a big commitment. And my daughter was really good and she and I thought about that. I did not send her for what I want, coach. And I think she would have benefited from that. And I'm sure he would. And a lot of that is right is can you afford it? And, you know, is it something that you want to pursue? My my daughter played premier soccer so above travel

league. Right Pretty you know, not a really high end premier but still really, really good soccer. And I always like to tell people like my daughter also played in school and her, you know, her school coach is probably the geography teacher and and her premier soccer league. Her coach was an all American soccer player from the University of Connecticut. Right. Like, that was a difference in quality. You had an all-American guy, you know, teaching and and

that was a big commitment. And my daughter was really good and she and I thought about that. I did not send her for what I want, coach. And I think she would have benefited from that. but I never did. and we never did. always good, but I would, I would absolutely. In that case, talk to your son's coach and say, Hey, what do you think of this? What do you think is going on? you think that's a good idea and maybe even talk to some other parents who maybe have gone

through that, right? See what they think?

Matt

Yeah.

Steve

yeah,

Matt

We

Steve

right.

Matt

are just pouring hundreds of dollars into him with this volleyball.

Steve

Yeah,

Matt

Hundreds of dollars. And he asks

Steve

Yeah, for lots

Matt

for more

Steve

of reasons.

Matt

and more.

Steve

And

Matt

Oh, I

Steve

we

Matt

want to

Steve

have

Matt

do

Steve

a granddaughter

Matt

this Camp one.

Steve

in New Jersey

Matt

Do this camp.

Steve

who's a big

Matt

And we've

Steve

dancer,

Matt

had to say,

Steve

and she's good, she's

Matt

Dude,

Steve

been

Matt

we can't

Steve

good enough,

Matt

do

Steve

and

Matt

camp

Steve

that's

Matt

every

Steve

all they

Matt

single

Steve

do,

Matt

night.

Steve

right? That's all she does is is do the dance. And they're always gone. They're always doing these shows and they're always doing competitions. And that's. And that's the other thing, right? My, my sisters grew up doing that and that's the same thing. They, they suck you into that and you feel like, oh, I have to let to do this. I have to let her compete, she has to get better, all this kind of stuff. What's the end goal for that? I don't know. And again, I don't know what that is. And I'm glad

she's doing it. She's good. She loves it. But what's what's the end goal? Does she go dance on Broadway? Right. Who knows? You know, I mean, you know, those are tough lives. Nobody. I don't think I want that life, right? I don't think I want that life for her. but it does give her confidence. She's young. She's nine. She gets up on stage. She just started doing her first solo, so it gives her a lot

Matt

Very

Steve

of confidence

Matt

difficult

Steve

and things

Matt

life.

Steve

like that. So I get it. But it's overwhelming. They they she dances year round and it's tough. So those are the things you do at your age with two kids. Your age. I look at it as, you know, my son was in the scouts and my son would go on these trips as he got older, like your son's age, he would start doing some of these trips. The high adventure, which is going out to Arizona, New Mexico, I think it was. And hiking for two weeks, Like, same thing, thousands of

dollars. I think it was a couple thousand dollars to send him out there you know, try to try to do some fundraising. It was tough. And that was when, you know, like I said, that's when I was your age and and I was trying to save money and college was coming up and all that kind of stuff. And yeah, well. So, right. So, you know, but we, we made it work out. I think you'll make it work out, too. I really do. I think you make it work out.

Matt

Oh, my God. There's more fear and anxiety. College is coming up three years away now. Mm hmm. And I think about this because I have fear and anxiety about my job right now. And I'm in. This is this is part of my issue. This is part of my development. I don't know if I trust my own emotions because it feels very uncertain at work. The environment has changed. We've had a very big reorg. Some of the leaders that I used to have are now

Steve

Mhm.

Matt

gone. There are a whole bunch of new people in with very new ideas, very different ways of doing business from very far away in the country. One of the things that I have as a strength is I'm very resilient. I talked to I did a skip level today with my boss boss, and she talked about how we're really asking people to change what worked for you in the past. How you worked before is not what you have to hold on to today. What you have to do is be willing to change

Steve

Mhm.

Matt

how we're doing business, because in a national environment, we can't do the same things you're doing regionally. And I kind of looked at her cross-eyed and said,

Steve

We always

Matt

I'm

Steve

had

Matt

good

Steve

that,

Matt

with

Steve

you

Matt

that.

Steve

know we talk about a lot. It's

Matt

I

Steve

actually

Matt

don't

Steve

a

Matt

get

Steve

common

Matt

too wedded to any one

Steve

you

Matt

idea

Steve

know, it's a common

Matt

and know

Steve

theme

Matt

that, okay,

Steve

a lot

Matt

I see

Steve

of times

Matt

where we're going.

Steve

in some topic

Matt

We have

Steve

discussion

Matt

to do some changing.

Steve

meetings I'll,

Matt

And

Steve

you

Matt

she

Steve

know,

Matt

had very

Steve

first

Matt

mild

Steve

of all

Matt

feedback

Steve

you know if you're,

Matt

from

Steve

if

Matt

me,

Steve

you're listening to this one you know what

Matt

very

Steve

this has to

Matt

mild

Steve

do with alcoholism.

Matt

feedback of you could do this

Steve

I'll

Matt

or that.

Steve

tell you this is that when I, when

Matt

I

Steve

I felt

Matt

look at that,

Steve

stressed

Matt

I'm like, I feel

Steve

before

Matt

like I'm pretty

Steve

I had

Matt

safe

Steve

a program,

Matt

here.

Steve

when I was actively drinking and when I had and trust me, I had lots of financial problems when I was actively drinking. My drinking did not help them, let me tell you. It did not help the fact that I was trying to make sure I had enough money for my booze. But when we had that anxiety and that fear, I know for me I drank to sort of overcome those feelings, to try to make those try to try to forget about those feelings. That's what one of the

things I've done. So sort of that's the that's the tie into to this to our alcoholism. but we talk about this impostor. You hear this a lot with alcoholics, this whole imposter syndrome, you know, like how I don't feel like I fit in. I don't feel like I feel like I've been a fraud. And some of that is because a lot of us drank, sort of unknowingly in a club in the closet, if you will, drank. So other people didn't see us drink as much. So we have this feeling. Certainly that was my experience.

That's how I drank. We have this idea that we're going to be drawn out. We're going to be, you know,

Matt

Oh,

Steve

they're

Matt

yeah.

Steve

going to shine a light on us and we're going to find like, holy shit, Matt doesn't know what he's doing. How did he survive this? Let's get rid of him now. But that's not the case, right? That's not the case. You work for a big company. you're. You're really competent and what you do, chances are the job's not gonna. There may be reorg, but the job's probably not going anywhere. Yeah. Right, Right. Yeah, I was. Let's in. I was one of the top salespeople, top paid

salespeople. There was two guys who have paid on my level and our sales group. I was one of them. I always felt the same thing. And the truth is, my job

Matt

My

Steve

was not

Matt

worries always.

Steve

anything

Matt

I make too much money

Steve

that was very

Matt

because

Steve

difficult

Matt

I have gotten

Steve

or anything,

Matt

very

Steve

and

Matt

good reviews

Steve

they could have easily gotten

Matt

and I have

Steve

a

Matt

performed

Steve

new salesperson,

Matt

very, very well.

Steve

brought

Matt

I've taken

Steve

him in,

Matt

advantage

Steve

paid literally

Matt

of

Steve

paid him,

Matt

compounding

Steve

paid

Matt

raises

Steve

them female, female,

Matt

and now

Steve

half

Matt

I look at that

Steve

the money

Matt

and say,

Steve

they were,

Matt

Am

Steve

they

Matt

I

Steve

were

Matt

making

Steve

paying me

Matt

too

Steve

literally

Matt

much

Steve

half

Matt

money

Steve

the money

Matt

to

Steve

and

Matt

be

Steve

they would not have been as good and didn't have

Matt

of

Steve

the connections,

Matt

value

Steve

but

Matt

to

Steve

they

Matt

the

Steve

would

Matt

company?

Steve

have been okay

Matt

That's

Steve

for

Matt

what

Steve

half

Matt

I have

Steve

the money.

Matt

fear

Steve

And,

Matt

about.

Steve

but I always felt that way too. They always like I, you know, I made some good money, especially towards the end of my career. I was really in a good place. I always felt that they were like, Oh, they can get rid of me any day. You know? I made peace with that one day. I do. I really do. I, I, I've talked about I shared in meetings. First of all, I woke up one day and I really did. I was sitting in my office. I work and I was I was going through some of those feelings of those imposter

syndrome feelings. And then I realized that I realized that I had gone through about four records from one company to a little bit bigger company to a bigger company, then to a really gigantic company. And people got laid off salespeople. So we always had salespeople when they brought them on. And I made every one of those cuts. And I finally realized, like, you know, maybe I do know what I'm doing. Maybe I will survive this. And I

did. And when they they literally shut down our company and they kept three of us around to sell off all their stuff. And I was one of the three that they kept around. I worked all the way up to the last day of the company. I made up pretty good and that means and they still paid our commissions. So that was like everything we sold was now not divided by six was, but was divided by three. So I walked out of there with a really, really nice sort of severance pay paycheck. that

helped me out a lot. and you're going to find that same way. You know, I've told the story before about I said I signed up for an insurance company insurance policy years ago. Years long time ago. Right. And I the first thing I asked, like, I like what's happened if I'm going to lose my job, you know, like, how am I going to pay for this insurance policy? And he just looked at me. He goes, You'd get another job right now. Yeah, of course I got another job. And I realized I care. Of course I got

another job. And his point was, yeah, you're going to you'll be fine. Because it was a fairly good chunk of money wasn't huge, but like, it was like, you know, take something out of at that time, a couple of hundred dollars more a month or whatever it was we were getting. You know, it was that was a lot of money for us. you know, we got to be careful with that. And we can't we can't, we can't ignore those feelings because if we start to ignore those feelings or we start not to give them the time

Matt

I

Steve

and

Matt

know the

Steve

effort

Matt

story is a good one,

Steve

to deal with them, then we could get into trouble. We can get into trouble. And and I know that you don't ignore them. Like when you start feeling that, right, you pick up the phone. You're right. and that's what you need to do. And that's what we all need to do. At least in my program. What I need to do is pick up and call another alcoholic when I'm really stressed out. And. And it's nice. My phone's been ringing a lot and I call other alcoholics, but

my. Well, my it has been there's a couple of people out there who have gone through some changes. And I happen

Matt

but

Steve

to be one of the people that they call and it's nice. I love those phone calls. Sit down, take some time, talk to them. and that's and that's a nice thing to do. So,

Matt

nope. I picked up the phone yesterday. Oh, good for you. You're doing something right in your program.

Steve

yeah,

Matt

If you're brand new and you're thinking, if I go to a 12 step meeting or however you get

Steve

My

Matt

sober

Steve

only dirty

Matt

or whatever,

Steve

secret,

Matt

whatever

Steve

it's the crux

Matt

type of program

Steve

of the whole

Matt

you might

Steve

thing

Matt

be

Steve

for

Matt

in,

Steve

me is like I didn't have

Matt

they're

Steve

those

Matt

not

Steve

skills

Matt

really

Steve

too.

Matt

around. I

Steve

I

Matt

used to

Steve

didn't

Matt

drink,

Steve

have those

Matt

and

Steve

skills.

Matt

this is

Steve

And

Matt

how

Steve

I know some people do

Matt

I'm

Steve

and

Matt

either going to learn

Steve

everybody's

Matt

how to drink

Steve

different,

Matt

better

Steve

but I,

Matt

or this

Steve

I

Matt

is how

Steve

did not have

Matt

I'm

Steve

those

Matt

going

Steve

skills

Matt

to

Steve

to

Matt

sit

Steve

deal

Matt

a certain

Steve

with

Matt

way

Steve

the anxieties,

Matt

so I don't drink anymore.

Steve

the fears,

Matt

It's not about the mechanics

Steve

all

Matt

of drinking.

Steve

the disappointments

Matt

It's

Steve

in

Matt

about

Steve

life.

Matt

your feelings

Steve

Like I

Matt

and

Steve

did

Matt

it's about

Steve

not

Matt

things

Steve

have

Matt

like this.

Steve

the skills to

Matt

And

Steve

be able

Matt

fears

Steve

to deal with those

Matt

and anxiety

Steve

except

Matt

can

Steve

for

Matt

be a trigger for many

Steve

picking

Matt

people.

Steve

up a drink and

Matt

It's

Steve

getting,

Matt

definitely a trigger

Steve

you know,

Matt

for

Steve

getting.

Matt

me.

Steve

BLITZER

Matt

What

Steve

Or

Matt

I

Steve

smoking

Matt

have learned

Steve

a joint or

Matt

going

Steve

whatever

Matt

through

Steve

and

Matt

a 12

Steve

whatever

Matt

step program

Steve

it might have been. because

Matt

is how to handle

Steve

I've come

Matt

them,

Steve

to this program

Matt

that

Steve

and because

Matt

I'm not alone.

Steve

I,

Matt

Other

Steve

I

Matt

people

Steve

listen

Matt

have

Steve

and

Matt

them,

Steve

because I,

Matt

and

Steve

you

Matt

these

Steve

know,

Matt

are the

Steve

for

Matt

things

Steve

me,

Matt

you

Steve

I

Matt

need

Steve

hang

Matt

to do

Steve

around with

Matt

to

Steve

a bunch

Matt

get

Steve

of

Matt

through

Steve

really

Matt

them.

Steve

strong men in this program.

Matt

Programs

Steve

I've been able

Matt

that

Steve

to

Matt

help

Steve

figure

Matt

you

Steve

that

Matt

through

Steve

out. And,

Matt

addiction

Steve

and

Matt

are

Steve

I

Matt

really

Steve

and you know

Matt

programs

Steve

what is when

Matt

that help

Steve

I'm

Matt

you

Steve

going

Matt

navigate

Steve

through this

Matt

life.

Steve

and I know the same thing happens

Matt

If

Steve

to you

Matt

you have

Steve

because

Matt

those life

Steve

I

Matt

skills,

Steve

see you at

Matt

you

Steve

a meeting.

Matt

don't need

Steve

we

Matt

substances

Steve

talk about it

Matt

to

Steve

at

Matt

get

Steve

our meetings,

Matt

through them.

Steve

right?

Matt

That's

Steve

And

Matt

the dirty secret.

Steve

I went to a meeting last night, right. And there was maybe maybe ten of us there, all guys. So, you know, an outdoor meeting and a fire pit and a dog's playing in the yard and all that kind of stuff. And it's just a beautiful way to have a meeting because those small meetings are exactly where you can put out a lot of stuff and talk about it and you get a lot of feedback on there.

Matt

Mm

Steve

You get

Matt

hmm.

Steve

a lot of times to me they're invaluable. They're invaluable to go out and do some of that kind of stuff, you know. it's

Matt

Absolutely.

Steve

yeah, And know what the other thing is, and it's just sort of a side thing. But what I find is that when you're going through your stuff, we talk about it all the time. It's like you reach out and you help somebody else, right? That does it. That's the other thing that we always talk about when you when you're feeling the feeling these feelings and you're going through this anxiety,

Matt

When I

Steve

one

Matt

was thinking

Steve

of the ways

Matt

of this

Steve

to

Matt

topic,

Steve

handle that is really

Matt

I was thinking about

Steve

go

Matt

the fear

Steve

do something

Matt

and anxiety

Steve

for somebody else

Matt

and

Steve

ready

Matt

then

Steve

to

Matt

thinking

Steve

go. And

Matt

about

Steve

it doesn't

Matt

vulnerability

Steve

have to be in the program.

Matt

and

Steve

But

Matt

realizing

Steve

if it is

Matt

these

Steve

what

Matt

are

Steve

I

Matt

a

Steve

would

Matt

lot

Steve

just

Matt

of the

Steve

go

Matt

same

Steve

do

Matt

topics.

Steve

something that takes you

Matt

I

Steve

out

Matt

wasn't

Steve

of your own,

Matt

vulnerable

Steve

your own space

Matt

before.

Steve

for a while.

Matt

I

Steve

and

Matt

wasn't

Steve

I had the

Matt

asking

Steve

opportunity today

Matt

for help.

Steve

to do that. I went to see a friend

Matt

The

Steve

of ours

Matt

cure

Steve

who, you know, recently

Matt

is to be

Steve

lost

Matt

as vulnerable

Steve

her husband

Matt

as

Steve

and

Matt

possible

Steve

spent about,

Matt

and to extend

Steve

you know,

Matt

trust

Steve

maybe 3

Matt

to other

Steve

hours

Matt

people,

Steve

up there,

Matt

especially

Steve

had some lunch

Matt

other

Steve

and

Matt

people who are going

Steve

then talked

Matt

through

Steve

to her

Matt

the same

Steve

and talked

Matt

predicament

Steve

to her about,

Matt

you

Steve

you know,

Matt

are.

Steve

what can we

Matt

They

Steve

do to help.

Matt

may have

Steve

And

Matt

answers

Steve

she had

Matt

because

Steve

a couple

Matt

they

Steve

of little

Matt

went through

Steve

things

Matt

it.

Steve

that she was struggling

Matt

They may

Steve

with.

Matt

be suffering

Steve

I'm like, all right,

Matt

the same

Steve

let's

Matt

thing.

Steve

go see

Matt

And

Steve

if

Matt

then

Steve

I can help

Matt

you

Steve

you fix

Matt

both

Steve

them.

Matt

feel you're

Steve

And

Matt

not

Steve

before

Matt

alone.

Steve

I left, I had helped her fix a couple of things that were just

Matt

You get

Steve

hanging

Matt

that validation.

Steve

out there. You know,

Matt

It'll help you through. You don't need

Steve

And

Matt

a drink

Steve

that

Matt

for that. You

Steve

allows

Matt

can have a conversation

Steve

me to spend

Matt

and feel

Steve

a few

Matt

better.

Steve

hours out of my own head doing something nice for somebody else. and I had the opportunity today to do that. I went to see a friend of ours who, you know, recently lost her husband and spent about, you know, maybe 3 hours up there, had some lunch and then talked to her and talked to her about, you know, what can we do to help. And she had a couple of little things that she was struggling with. I'm like, all right, let's go see if I can help you fix

them. And before I left, I had helped her fix a couple of things that were just hanging out there. You know, that allows me to spend a few hours out of my own head doing something nice for somebody else. with no expectations of anything back. Just knowing that I made her life a little bit easier for this day. And, you know, also, it was a beautiful day here in Connecticut. And we had a nice lunch out outside and, you know,

it was really a nice time. And what I find is that when I start struggling, one of the best things I could do is do something for somebody else.

Matt

Mm hmm.

Steve

Mm Yeah. Yeah. Mm. Yeah, Absolutely. And sometimes that's all we can do, you know, I've said it, and I haven't had to say it in a while, right? Sometimes. I used to shop at meetings, and that was all I could do was just show up. I couldn't participate. I didn't have a lot of thought. My head wouldn't allow me to sort of really listen to the topic and hone in on it. I just physically had to show up and be there and that that was effort

Matt

When

Steve

at

Matt

you talked

Steve

some at

Matt

about

Steve

some

Matt

strong

Steve

time points

Matt

people,

Steve

of my sobriety.

Matt

she came

Steve

Just

Matt

to mind.

Steve

it was a lot of work just to

Matt

I

Steve

show

Matt

don't know

Steve

up

Matt

if she

Steve

and

Matt

would

Steve

I did

Matt

give

Steve

that,

Matt

herself credit

Steve

so I didn't drink.

Matt

as

Steve

That's

Matt

being

Steve

why I did

Matt

a strong

Steve

it.

Matt

person.

Steve

Because usually those days

Matt

I

Steve

where I

Matt

consider

Steve

was really struggling

Matt

her incredibly

Steve

like that

Matt

strong.

Steve

would be

Matt

If

Steve

days

Matt

you think about

Steve

that I would

Matt

losing

Steve

typically

Matt

a husband

Steve

want to drink I had

Matt

who

Steve

a rule.

Matt

had

Steve

I

Matt

a terminal

Steve

did an

Matt

illness

Steve

early sobriety.

Matt

for a decent

Steve

if

Matt

amount

Steve

I felt

Matt

of time,

Steve

like shit

Matt

living

Steve

like that,

Matt

through

Steve

I

Matt

that

Steve

went to a meeting, like

Matt

strength

Steve

I just went

Matt

sometimes

Steve

to a meeting

Matt

is just.

Steve

because at that

Matt

I

Steve

time

Matt

get

Steve

I was

Matt

up

Steve

working

Matt

out of

Steve

in

Matt

my

Steve

an office.

Matt

bed every day

Steve

I was working every day in

Matt

and

Steve

an office.

Matt

I

Steve

This

Matt

live

Steve

was

Matt

the

Steve

long

Matt

day

Steve

before we all worked

Matt

that

Steve

from

Matt

low,

Steve

home

Matt

that low

Steve

and,

Matt

bar of

Steve

you know,

Matt

I'm

Steve

so I'd

Matt

just

Steve

get home.

Matt

I'm going

Steve

And if

Matt

to meetings,

Steve

my life, if things

Matt

I'm

Steve

were rough

Matt

continuing

Steve

at home

Matt

to

Steve

or whatever

Matt

be

Steve

it might be,

Matt

alive

Steve

I was out the door

Matt

and try and

Steve

for

Matt

muddle

Steve

a meeting

Matt

through

Steve

because

Matt

sometimes.

Steve

that

Matt

That's

Steve

would just

Matt

incredible

Steve

eat up.

Matt

strength

Steve

I would

Matt

just

Steve

eat

Matt

to

Steve

up

Matt

be

Steve

a couple

Matt

able to

Steve

of

Matt

do

Steve

hours.

Matt

that.

Steve

By the time I drove there, I got there and I got home. I would eat up a couple of hours of my night and then I could come home and I could go to bed. And it was simple as that. But yeah, I agree with you. This person is very strong. I think she understands that she, she handles a lot.

Matt

Mm

Steve

She

Matt

hmm.

Steve

was, she actually was in a very good place. I was very happy to see her the first time. I spent a lot of time with her since that happened. I was really happy to see how at least, you know, I'm, you know, for this day, right? For this day. This time, she was really good. And she's been able to handle a lot of stuff at the house by herself. And I was I was pleased with that. Mm mm. Mm mm.

Without question. I agree that sometimes just having a, you know, having somebody there, but like, you know, we always say we, you know, we want to go to a meeting, want to give something back, you're that way too, you want to, you want to give something back to a meeting. I feel that way. I try to share. I don't always share. I try to share most meetings if I feel like I have something to say. because I feel like, yeah,

Matt

This

Steve

like

Matt

is

Steve

I said,

Matt

where you

Steve

I

Matt

can help another

Steve

got

Matt

person,

Steve

something. I got a great

Matt

Someone

Steve

gift

Matt

like

Steve

from

Matt

our

Steve

this

Matt

friend

Steve

program.

Matt

who

Steve

For

Matt

has

Steve

me,

Matt

gone

Steve

the

Matt

through

Steve

program was

Matt

a

Steve

Alcoholics

Matt

terrible

Steve

Anonymous.

Matt

year,

Steve

I try

Matt

had

Steve

to

Matt

loss,

Steve

make sure that I give back

Matt

had

Steve

for

Matt

to suffer

Steve

that gift

Matt

through that Loss

Steve

because it's

Matt

of

Steve

something

Matt

being present

Steve

that, been incredibly, incredibly

Matt

can be an

Steve

valuable

Matt

inspiration

Steve

to

Matt

for

Steve

me

Matt

other people, even

Steve

and,

Matt

when you don't

Steve

and

Matt

realize

Steve

if I could just

Matt

it.

Steve

try to

Matt

I think

Steve

help

Matt

about,

Steve

other people,

Matt

you know, sometimes you

Steve

you

Matt

said

Steve

know,

Matt

sometimes the

Steve

see

Matt

best I

Steve

the

Matt

can

Steve

value

Matt

do is show

Steve

in that

Matt

up

Steve

and

Matt

to a meeting.

Steve

change your life. Right?

Matt

You

Steve

The

Matt

might

Steve

meeting

Matt

be

Steve

went

Matt

underselling

Steve

to last night.

Matt

yourself

Steve

There was a guy

Matt

because

Steve

with

Matt

sometimes

Steve

who I've seen

Matt

if

Steve

before.

Matt

you show up to a meeting,

Steve

I don't, I didn't know him that

Matt

there

Steve

well,

Matt

can

Steve

but

Matt

be a

Steve

I

Matt

better

Steve

have seen

Matt

meeting

Steve

him before.

Matt

for somebody else

Steve

But he had too much,

Matt

that if a couple

Steve

which

Matt

people

Steve

means

Matt

who just

Steve

that if

Matt

always

Steve

I seen him before,

Matt

show up

Steve

that means

Matt

to

Steve

he

Matt

that

Steve

probably

Matt

meeting,

Steve

I've been struggling

Matt

stop

Steve

in and out

Matt

showing

Steve

a bit.

Matt

up that

Steve

you

Matt

meeting

Steve

know, I

Matt

might

Steve

just.

Matt

go

Steve

I

Matt

away,

Steve

hope a guy like him

Matt

or the quality

Steve

can

Matt

of sobriety

Steve

show up

Matt

there

Steve

and

Matt

might not be good enough for

Steve

yeah,

Matt

the new person.

Steve

if he. If he comes Friday

Matt

There's

Steve

night,

Matt

always

Steve

they'll see

Matt

going to

Steve

me

Matt

be

Steve

there

Matt

people

Steve

and

Matt

filing

Steve

start seeing,

Matt

in

Steve

oh,

Matt

and

Steve

this,

Matt

out

Steve

this

Matt

of meetings,

Steve

is what this guy does to

Matt

but

Steve

stay

Matt

having

Steve

sober.

Matt

even

Steve

Right.

Matt

if it's like two

Steve

And

Matt

or three

Steve

not only

Matt

people

Steve

me,

Matt

who

Steve

like

Matt

are

Steve

all

Matt

that

Steve

the guys

Matt

core

Steve

around

Matt

who

Steve

this

Matt

are there

Steve

camp

Matt

every

Steve

are, most of them

Matt

single time,

Steve

will go to this Friday night meeting I go

Matt

that

Steve

to.

Matt

can

Steve

It's like,

Matt

be the

Steve

oh, this

Matt

stability

Steve

is what these guys do.

Matt

for somebody

Steve

They show

Matt

else.

Steve

up and go to meetings, you know, So hopefully he can learn from that and and, you know, work on a program that will help him

Matt

Yep.

Steve

right? Absolutely. Now that that was huge for me. It was huge for me being able to find some people that I was comfortable with. And I used to ask people all the time, especially I used to ask people all the time, where else do you go to meetings? You know, for people that I liked especially, I would say, where else do you go? And they said, Oh, I go here on Tuesday night. So I go here on this night and I go ahead.

And what that gave me was even after Tuesday night, which is typically not a night where I go to meetings, but in in the past, like I said, if I was having a bad night and I had a lot of bad nights early in my sobriety,

Matt

Mm hmm.

Steve

I had a lot of things where I did not want to be home. Like my sure about it many times. My marriage is very much struggling, very much wasn't sure if we were going to make it. And so the best thing for me that I could do at that time was be out of the house and I would work all day and I would come home and I would decide, you know something? I need to get out of here for an hour or two. And I would go, Oh, so-so, you know, my buddy Edson said that he goes here on Tuesday nights,

right? And I would go there

Matt

That

Steve

and

Matt

was important

Steve

I would know

Matt

to me early

Steve

that most

Matt

on,

Steve

nights I would

Matt

is

Steve

be Hellcats

Matt

seeing

Steve

and I'd be

Matt

some

Steve

LC

Matt

people

Steve

And

Matt

that

Steve

then

Matt

I

Steve

I would

Matt

typically

Steve

get to know some of the

Matt

saw

Steve

other guys

Matt

going

Steve

like, Oh,

Matt

to

Steve

some of these guys

Matt

a few

Steve

go to

Matt

meetings

Steve

the Thursday night meeting.

Matt

and I could

Steve

So

Matt

just tag

Steve

same

Matt

along

Steve

thing.

Matt

and know,

Steve

I

Matt

okay,

Steve

would be

Matt

I

Steve

able to

Matt

know

Steve

show

Matt

those

Steve

up at these

Matt

person.

Steve

meetings

Matt

They go to these

Steve

and always

Matt

three meetings,

Steve

know somebody. And

Matt

I

Steve

even

Matt

know I'll be

Steve

today

Matt

safe

Steve

I do

Matt

there

Steve

that

Matt

because at least

Steve

like

Matt

I'll know

Steve

even

Matt

some

Steve

today,

Matt

people

Steve

like any night of the week,

Matt

because it's scary.

Steve

I could

Matt

It's

Steve

go,

Matt

scary when you first

Steve

I

Matt

start

Steve

could

Matt

and you

Steve

go

Matt

go to

Steve

say,

Matt

these

Steve

okay, and this

Matt

these

Steve

night

Matt

meetings

Steve

I want to

Matt

and

Steve

go out to a

Matt

church

Steve

meeting.

Matt

basements

Steve

Where am I going to

Matt

with

Steve

go?

Matt

these shady looking

Steve

And

Matt

people,

Steve

based upon

Matt

some

Steve

I'm going

Matt

of

Steve

to

Matt

these

Steve

know

Matt

people

Steve

people at that meeting,

Matt

and, you know, why do I belong here?

Steve

oh, man, these steps are made for fear and anxiety, right? I mean, certainly, you know, you're going to you're going to work on some of the stuff when you do four and five for sure and then. Right, Right. Absolutely. yeah, there's, there's no question about it that the steps are going to help you with that. And then you're going to really you're, you're going to go through that right? Three and then four and five, you're going to really deal with

the details of it. And then six and seven, you're going to ask for it to be you know, you're going to ask to have it removed and relieved and relief from it. So the steps are what helped me get through this stuff. It's what gave me freedom from this stuff. It really did is like I've, I, I finally have come to the realization that I don't need to hang on to this stuff.

So when I have, you know, any of it, whether it's anger or resentment or disappointment or fear or anxiety, because all of those things still happen to me because I'm a human being, but I don't need to hold on to them. to me that's the biggest thing, because I would I would take those feelings and man,

Matt

Yeah,

Steve

and even in sobriety, I would take those feelings and I would hold on to them

Matt

Yeah, me too.

Steve

and I would try to milk them for all the pity I could get for myself, You know, like poor me. Poor me.

Matt

What do you think in terms of step work, fear and anxiety? What are steps

Steve

All right.

Matt

that you can use to help you out? Yeah, I'm thinking step three alone.

Steve

Mm

Matt

Sometimes there's some prayer, some meditation that's going to help.

Steve

mm,

Matt

No.

Steve

mm.

Matt

I've done some. I've done some roller coaster therapy, which has helped me in this, that we have these season tickets, the Six Flags. And I've never gone on roller coasters or any exciting ride in my life. But we have these things and on one hand, I want to take advantage of the ticket that I have, and the other hand is

Steve

yeah,

Matt

I don't want to be barred from an experience because I have fear. So I started going on these roller coasters, Superman. The ride is the one I had been waiting for. Superman,

Steve

yeah,

Matt

The ride, if you don't know, it is kind of what you think it is. It's the biggest roller coaster in New England. It goes up to about it's the highest roller coaster, goes

Steve

yeah.

Matt

about 77 miles an hour. It goes way up like you. You time it out. It's about a minute that you're going up. And if you see it from the ground, it looks like, why the hell would I ever go on that? That looks scary as hell. And it's it's long. It goes a long, long way. And I wasn't going to go on at the last time. And I finally said, I got to do this, I got to do this. And so my son sat next to me, which I was grateful for, and I

had an experience with him. And you go up and you can see the river and you go down and I can't even remember half of this stuff because it was so intense. And I realized going on these roller coasters,

Steve

It might.

Matt

the thing

Steve

It wouldn't

Matt

I fear

Steve

be the course I would take,

Matt

is the things

Steve

the path

Matt

I cannot

Steve

I would take.

Matt

control. Because when you get to the top in the roller coaster

Steve

yeah,

Matt

goes over and you've turned that

Steve

Although

Matt

potential

Steve

I,

Matt

energy

Steve

although

Matt

into

Steve

I have

Matt

kinetic

Steve

some,

Matt

energy,

Steve

you know, there, there it has

Matt

it's

Steve

some promise

Matt

the thing

Steve

to

Matt

of

Steve

it if you can

Matt

you've

Steve

do that

Matt

got

Steve

and if

Matt

to

Steve

you can

Matt

go

Steve

get through

Matt

from

Steve

it and

Matt

the

Steve

go

Matt

top

Steve

and then,

Matt

to the station.

Steve

and then go back

Matt

There's

Steve

and do

Matt

no

Steve

it

Matt

way

Steve

again

Matt

you

Steve

and

Matt

can

Steve

maybe

Matt

stop and

Steve

at

Matt

you have

Steve

some

Matt

to just

Steve

point

Matt

go

Steve

even

Matt

with

Steve

and

Matt

it

Steve

get some enjoyment

Matt

and you have to

Steve

out

Matt

go

Steve

of

Matt

wherever

Steve

it.

Matt

that train's

Steve

It's

Matt

going,

Steve

been a long

Matt

be

Steve

time

Matt

it upside

Steve

since I've been

Matt

down

Steve

on that super.

Matt

or

Steve

My

Matt

on the side

Steve

my kids are

Matt

or faster

Steve

you know, I

Matt

up

Steve

took

Matt

and

Steve

my

Matt

down

Steve

kids there, too, and

Matt

through

Steve

my kids

Matt

the tunnel.

Steve

are my

Matt

And

Steve

youngest

Matt

there's nothing

Steve

is 30.

Matt

you can

Steve

So

Matt

do to stop it. And

Steve

it's

Matt

I

Steve

been a while.

Matt

don't like that

Steve

And

Matt

lack of control.

Steve

and I can remember

Matt

I

Steve

when I

Matt

finally

Steve

went on there, it was

Matt

realized

Steve

like

Matt

that thing.

Steve

I was like, man,

Matt

I

Steve

I'm

Matt

went

Steve

not sure

Matt

on the sky

Steve

why I went

Matt

screamer,

Steve

on this ride.

Matt

which I realized

Steve

You know,

Matt

was a mistake,

Steve

like you

Matt

was

Steve

do. You get

Matt

a

Steve

up

Matt

mistake.

Steve

to the top of

Matt

This

Steve

that Superman

Matt

is a swing

Steve

ride and you can

Matt

that

Steve

see

Matt

goes

Steve

the Connecticut

Matt

up 425

Steve

River, you know, like, Wow,

Matt

feet and

Steve

I'm

Matt

swings

Steve

up here,

Matt

out

Steve

man.

Matt

at 40

Steve

I go

Matt

miles

Steve

up

Matt

an

Steve

there

Matt

hour

Steve

and then it just

Matt

and

Steve

drops

Matt

the

Steve

and

Matt

wind

Steve

and

Matt

changes,

Steve

I was just looking

Matt

and

Steve

at it

Matt

my

Steve

and

Matt

swing

Steve

you talked about

Matt

turned

Steve

it. It only

Matt

backwards

Steve

lasts for a minute and a half. It's

Matt

because

Steve

not like

Matt

of the weight differential

Steve

it's

Matt

between

Steve

not like

Matt

my

Steve

it

Matt

daughter

Steve

lasts

Matt

and

Steve

forever,

Matt

I close my eyes the whole

Steve

but

Matt

way.

Steve

it feels like

Matt

But

Steve

it's

Matt

it was

Steve

a long,

Matt

that lack of control

Steve

you know, it's

Matt

is

Steve

a long time.

Matt

now that it's gone up. The only thing I can do is to continue going up so I can come back down and there's nothing I can do about it. And it's that lack of my control to stop it. That is my issue. And I'm doing

Steve

Yeah.

Matt

this less because I'm enjoying the roller coaster and more of I need to get my way through this to understand why I fear this and how does it

Steve

Right.

Matt

how

Steve

Yeah,

Matt

does it bother me in other parts of life? Where does it affect me in other parts of life? So I can get past that too,

Steve

right.

Matt

So I can go down

Steve

All

Matt

this

Steve

I

Matt

roller

Steve

would do,

Matt

coaster and deal with not being

Steve

I

Matt

able to

Steve

would, I would feel that way too. I absolutely would. So I don't

Matt

control

Steve

think I'd go out that.

Matt

where

Steve

I

Matt

it's going

Steve

think

Matt

to go.

Steve

I'm,

Matt

Maybe

Steve

I think

Matt

this

Steve

I've

Matt

will help

Steve

gone

Matt

me with

Steve

through

Matt

other

Steve

that

Matt

things.

Steve

phase and I don't think I need to do that. But there was a time. Good for you.

Matt

Yeah. My wife

Steve

Good

Matt

told

Steve

for

Matt

me

Steve

you.

Matt

I looked I was white as a ghost

Steve

Yeah.

Matt

when she saw me swinging by.

Steve

Hey,

Matt

Yeah.

Steve

thanks, Mac. Always great to be on with you. right. All I would do, I would, I would feel that way too. I absolutely would. So I don't think I'd go out that. I think I'm, I think I've gone through that phase and I don't think I need to do that. Good for you. Good for you. Yeah. Hey, thanks, Mac. Always great to be on with you.

Matt

You want more out of control? Try Wicked Cyclone. Even though Wicked Cyclone is smaller, you go up and it's a 90 degree drop. It goes straight down immediately into a curve and then into an invert. So you want to talk about not being in control that your body doesn't know which way it's going because it goes down and then you go on to the side and then you're going upside down. There were times where I was bracing to go one way and the car went the other. That my body was

totally confused. Talk about out of control and I'll tell you, I felt accomplished. I'm like, I did this. I actually got on these big, scary things and I did it. Now, before the season ends, I'm going to do a few more. I got two tickets. I might as well do it. Well, if you like this show, you can go to buy me a coffee dot com slash sober friends pod. If you feel that this podcast is worth something, whatever it's worth to you, you have the opportunity to keep us going

there with a donation. We do have expenses and you help us defray some of those costs. Head over to Super Friends podcast, Sign up for the newsletter, send out a weekly email or whenever I'm on another podcast or whatever, just to let you know what we're going, what's going on? I try and link to some type of sober news story. It's very short, it is very infrequent, but it keeps you in touch with us. Steve, thanks for coming on and being vulnerable with fears and anxieties.

And we'll see you next week by everybody. Yeah. We are just pouring hundreds of dollars into him with this volleyball. Hundreds of dollars. And he asks for more and more. Oh, I want to do this Camp one. Do this camp. And we've had to say, Dude, we can't do camp every single night. Very difficult life. Oh, my God. There's more fear and anxiety. College is coming up three years away now. Mm hmm. And I think about this because I have fear and anxiety about my

job right now. And I'm in. This is this is part of my issue. This is part of my development. I don't know if I trust my own emotions because it feels very uncertain at work. The environment has changed. We've had a very big reorg. Some of the leaders that I used to have are now gone. There are a whole bunch of new people in with very new ideas, very different ways of doing business from very far away in the country. One of the things that I have as a strength

is I'm very resilient. I talked to I did a skip level today with my boss boss, and she talked about how we're really asking people to change what worked for you in the past. How you worked before is not what you have to hold on to today. What you have to do is be willing to change how we're doing business, because in a national environment, we can't do the same things you're doing regionally. And I kind of looked at her cross-eyed and said, I'm

good with that. I don't get too wedded to any one idea and know that, okay, I see where we're going. We have to do some changing. And she had very mild feedback from me, very mild feedback of you could do this or that. I look at that, I'm like, I feel like I'm pretty safe here. Oh, yeah. My worries always. I make too much money because I have gotten very good reviews and I have

performed very, very well. I've taken advantage of compounding raises and now I look at that and say, Am I making too much money to be of value to the company? That's what I have fear about. I know the story is a good one, but nope. I picked up the phone yesterday. Oh, good for you. You're doing something right in your program. If you're brand new and you're thinking, if I go to a 12 step meeting or however you get sober or whatever, whatever type of program you might be in, they're

not really around. I used to drink, and this is how I'm either going to learn how to drink better or this is how I'm going to sit a certain way so I don't drink anymore. It's not about the mechanics of drinking. It's about your feelings and it's about things like this. And fears and anxiety can be a trigger for many people. It's definitely a trigger for me. What I have learned going through a 12 step program is how to handle them, that I'm not

alone. Other people have them, and these are the things you need to do to get through them. Programs that help you through addiction are really programs that help you navigate life. If you have those life skills, you don't need substances to get through them. That's the dirty secret. Mm hmm. Absolutely. When I was thinking of this topic, I was thinking about the fear and anxiety and then thinking about vulnerability and realizing these are a lot of the same topics. I wasn't vulnerable

before. I wasn't asking for help. The cure is to be as vulnerable as possible and to extend trust to other people, especially other people who are going through the same predicament you are. They may have answers because they went through it. They may be suffering the same thing. And then you both feel you're not alone. You get that validation. It'll help you through. You don't need a drink for that. You can have a conversation and feel better. Mm hmm. When you talked about strong

people, she came to mind. I don't know if she would give herself credit as being a strong person. I consider her incredibly strong. If you think about losing a husband who had a terminal illness for a decent amount of time, living through that strength sometimes is just. I get up out of my bed every day and I live the day that low, that low bar of I'm just I'm going to meetings, I'm continuing to be alive and try and muddle through sometimes.

That's incredible strength just to be able to do that. Mm hmm. This is where you can help another person, Someone like our friend who has gone through a terrible year, had loss, had to suffer through that Loss of being present can be an inspiration for other people, even when you don't realize it. I think about, you know, sometimes you said sometimes the best I can do is show up to a

meeting. You might be underselling yourself because sometimes if you show up to a meeting, there can be a better meeting for somebody else that if a couple people who just always show up to that meeting, stop showing up that meeting might go away, or the quality of sobriety there might not be good enough for the new person.

There's always going to be people filing in and out of meetings, but having even if it's like two or three people who are that core who are there every single time, that can be the stability for somebody else. Yep. Mm hmm. That was important to me early on, is seeing some people that I typically saw going to a few meetings and I could just tag along and know, okay, I know those person. They go to these three meetings, I know I'll be safe there because at least I'll know some people because it's

scary. It's scary when you first start and you go to these these meetings and church basements with these shady looking people, some of these people and, you know, why do I belong here? Yeah, Yeah, me too. What do you think in terms of step work, fear and anxiety? What are steps that you can use to help you out? Yeah, I'm thinking step three alone. Sometimes there's some prayer, some meditation that's going to help. No.

I've done some. I've done some roller coaster therapy, which has helped me in this, that we have these season tickets, the Six Flags. And I've never gone on roller coasters or any exciting ride in my life. But we have these things and on one hand, I want to take advantage of the ticket that I have, and the other hand is I don't want to be barred from an experience because I have fear. So I started going on these roller coasters, Superman. The ride is the one I had been waiting for.

Superman, The ride, if you don't know, it is kind of what you think it is. It's the biggest roller coaster in New England. It goes up to about it's the highest roller coaster, goes about 77 miles an hour. It goes way up like you. You time it out. It's about a minute that you're going up. And if you see it from the ground, it looks like, why the hell would I ever go on that? That looks scary as hell. And it's it's long. It goes a long, long way. And I wasn't going to

go on at the last time. And I finally said, I got to do this, I got to do this. And so my son sat next to me, which I was grateful for, and I had an experience with him. And you go up and you can see the river and you go down and I can't even remember half of this stuff because it was so intense. And I realized going on these roller coasters, the thing I fear is the things I cannot control.

Because when you get to the top in the roller coaster goes over and you've turned that potential energy into kinetic energy, it's the thing of you've got to go from the top to the station. There's no way you can stop and you have to just go with it and you have to go wherever that train's going, be it upside down or on the side or faster up and down through the tunnel. And there's nothing you can do to stop it. And I don't like that lack of control. I finally

realized that thing. I went on the sky screamer, which I realized was a mistake, was a mistake. This is a swing that goes up 425 feet and swings out at 40 miles an hour and the wind changes, and my swing turned backwards because of the weight differential between my daughter and I close my eyes the whole way. But it was that lack of control is now that it's gone up. The only thing I can do is to continue going up so I can come back down and there's nothing I

can do about it. And it's that lack of my control to stop it. That is my issue. And I'm doing this less because I'm enjoying the roller coaster and more of I need to get my way through this to understand why I fear this and how does it how does it bother me in other parts of life? Where does it affect me in other parts of life? So I can get past that too, So I can go down this roller coaster and deal with not being able to control where it's going to go.

Maybe this will help me with other things. Yeah. My wife told me I looked I was white as a ghost when she saw me swinging by. Yeah. You want more out of control? Try Wicked Cyclone. Even though Wicked Cyclone is smaller, you go up and it's a 90 degree drop. It goes straight down immediately into a curve and then into an invert. So you want to talk about not being in control that your body doesn't know which way it's going because it goes down and then you go on to the side and then

you're going upside down. There were times where I was bracing to go one way and the car went the other. That my body was totally confused. Talk about out of control and I'll tell you, I felt accomplished. I'm like, I did this. I actually got on these big, scary things and I did it. Now, before the season ends, I'm going to do a few more. I got two tickets. I might as well do it. Well, if you like this show, you can go to buy me a coffee dot com slash sober friends pod.

If you feel that this podcast is worth something, whatever it's worth to you, you have the opportunity to keep us going there with a donation. We do have expenses and you help us defray some of those costs. Head over to Super Friends podcast, Sign up for the newsletter, send out a weekly email or whenever I'm on another podcast or whatever, just to let you know what we're going, what's going on? I try and link to some type

of sober news story. It's very short, it is very infrequent, but it keeps you in touch with us. Steve, thanks for coming on and being vulnerable with fears and anxieties. And we'll see you next week by everybody. Yeah. We are just pouring hundreds of dollars into him with this volleyball. Hundreds of dollars. And he asks for more and more. Oh, I want to do this Camp one. Do this camp. And we've had to say, Dude, we can't do camp every single night. Very difficult life.

Oh, my God. There's more fear and anxiety. College is coming up three years away now. Mm hmm. And I think about this because I have fear and anxiety about my job right now. And I'm in. This is this is part of my issue. This is part of my development. I don't know if I trust my own emotions because it feels very uncertain at work. The environment has changed. We've had a very big reorg. Some of the leaders that I used to have

are now gone. There are a whole bunch of new people in with very new ideas, very different ways of doing business from very far away in the country. One of the things that I have as a strength is I'm very resilient. I talked to I did a skip level today with my boss boss, and she talked about how we're really asking people to change what worked for you in the past. How you worked before is not what you have to

hold on to today. What you have to do is be willing to change how we're doing business, because in a national environment, we can't do the same things you're doing regionally. And I kind of looked at her cross-eyed and said, I'm good with that. I don't get too wedded to any one idea and know that, okay, I see where we're going. We have to do some changing. And she had very mild feedback from me, very mild feedback of you could do this or

that. I look at that, I'm like, I feel like I'm pretty safe here. Oh, yeah. My worries always. I make too much money because I have gotten very good reviews and I have performed very, very well. I've taken advantage of compounding raises and now I look at that and say, Am I making too much money to be of value to the company? That's what I have fear about. I know the story is a good one, but nope. I picked up the phone yesterday. Oh, good for you. You're doing something right in your program.

If you're brand new and you're thinking, if I go to a 12 step meeting or however you get sober or whatever, whatever type of program you might be in, they're not really around. I used to drink, and this is how I'm either going to learn how to drink better or this is how I'm going to sit a certain way so I don't drink anymore. It's not about the mechanics of drinking. It's about your feelings and it's about things like this. And fears and anxiety can be a

trigger for many people. It's definitely a trigger for me. What I have learned going through a 12 step program is how to handle them, that I'm not alone. Other people have them, and these are the things you need to do to get through them. Programs that help you through addiction are really programs that help you navigate life. If you have those life skills, you don't need substances to get through them. That's the dirty secret. Mm hmm.

Absolutely. When I was thinking of this topic, I was thinking about the fear and anxiety and then thinking about vulnerability and realizing these are a lot of the same topics. I wasn't vulnerable before. I wasn't asking for help. The cure is to be as vulnerable as possible and to extend trust to other people, especially other people who are going through the same predicament you are. They may have answers because they went through it. They may be suffering the same

thing. And then you both feel you're not alone. You get that validation. It'll help you through. You don't need a drink for that. You can have a conversation and feel better. Mm hmm. When you talked about strong people, she came to mind. I don't know if she would give herself credit as being a strong person. I consider her incredibly strong. If you think about losing a husband who had a terminal illness for a decent amount of time, living through that strength sometimes is just.

I get up out of my bed every day and I live the day that low, that low bar of I'm just I'm going to meetings, I'm continuing to be alive and try and muddle through sometimes. That's incredible strength just to be able to do that. Mm hmm. This is where you can help another person, Someone like our friend who has gone through a terrible year, had loss, had to suffer through that Loss of being present can be an inspiration for other people, even when you don't realize it.

I think about, you know, sometimes you said sometimes the best I can do is show up to a meeting. You might be underselling yourself because sometimes if you show up to a meeting, there can be a better meeting for somebody else that if a couple people who just always show up to that meeting, stop showing up that meeting might go away, or the quality of sobriety there might not be good enough for the new person.

There's always going to be people filing in and out of meetings, but having even if it's like two or three people who are that core who are there every single time, that can be the stability for somebody else. Yep. Mm hmm. That was important to me early on, is seeing some people that I typically saw going to a few meetings and I could just tag along and know, okay, I know those person. They go to these three meetings, I know I'll be safe there because at least I'll know some people because it's

scary. It's scary when you first start and you go to these these meetings and church basements with these shady looking people, some of these people and, you know, why do I belong here? Yeah, Yeah, me too. What do you think in terms of step work, fear and anxiety? What are steps that you can use to help you out? Yeah, I'm thinking step three alone. Sometimes there's some prayer, some meditation that's going to help. No.

I've done some. I've done some roller coaster therapy, which has helped me in this, that we have these season tickets, the Six Flags. And I've never gone on roller coasters or any exciting ride in my life. But we have these things and on one hand, I want to take advantage of the ticket that I have, and the other hand is I don't want to be barred from an experience because I have fear. So I started going on these roller coasters, Superman. The ride is the one I had been waiting for.

Superman, The ride, if you don't know, it is kind of what you think it is. It's the biggest roller coaster in New England. It goes up to about it's the highest roller coaster, goes about 77 miles an hour. It goes way up like you. You time it out. It's about a minute that you're going up. And if you see it from the ground, it looks like, why the hell would I ever go on that? That looks scary as hell. And it's it's long. It goes a long, long way. And I wasn't going to

go on at the last time. And I finally said, I got to do this, I got to do this. And so my son sat next to me, which I was grateful for, and I had an experience with him. And you go up and you can see the river and you go down and I can't even remember half of this stuff because it was so intense. And I realized going on these roller coasters, the thing I fear is the things I cannot control.

Because when you get to the top in the roller coaster goes over and you've turned that potential energy into kinetic energy, it's the thing of you've got to go from the top to the station. There's no way you can stop and you have to just go with it and you have to go wherever that train's going, be it upside down or on the side or faster up and down through the tunnel. And there's nothing you can do to stop it. And I don't like that lack of control. I finally

realized that thing. I went on the sky screamer, which I realized was a mistake, was a mistake. This is a swing that goes up 425 feet and swings out at 40 miles an hour and the wind changes, and my swing turned backwards because of the weight differential between my daughter and I close my eyes the whole way. But it was that lack of control is now that it's gone up. The only thing I can do is to continue going up so I can come back down and there's nothing I

can do about it. And it's that lack of my control to stop it. That is my issue. And I'm doing this less because I'm enjoying the roller coaster and more of I need to get my way through this to understand why I fear this and how does it how does it bother me in other parts of life? Where does it affect me in other parts of life? So I can get past that too, So I can go down this roller coaster and deal with not being able to control where it's going to go.

Maybe this will help me with other things. Yeah. My wife told me I looked I was white as a ghost when she saw me swinging by. Yeah. You want more out of control? Try Wicked Cyclone. Even though Wicked Cyclone is smaller, you go up and it's a 90 degree drop. It goes straight down immediately into a curve and then into an invert. So you want to talk about not being in control that your body doesn't know which way it's going because it goes down and then you go on to the side and then

you're going upside down. There were times where I was bracing to go one way and the car went the other. That my body was totally confused. Talk about out of control and I'll tell you, I felt accomplished. I'm like, I did this. I actually got on these big, scary things and I did it. Now, before the season ends, I'm going to do a few more. I got two tickets. I might as well do it. Well, if you like this show, you can go to buy me a coffee dot com slash sober friends pod.

If you feel that this podcast is worth something, whatever it's worth to you, you have the opportunity to keep us going there with a donation. We do have expenses and you help us defray some of those costs. Head over to Super Friends podcast, Sign up for the newsletter, send out a weekly email or whenever I'm on another podcast or whatever, just to let you know what we're going, what's going on? I try and link to some type

of sober news story. It's very short, it is very infrequent, but it keeps you in touch with us. Steve, thanks for coming on and being vulnerable with fears and anxieties. And we'll see you next week by everybody. Yeah. We are just pouring hundreds of dollars into him with this volleyball. Hundreds of dollars. And he asks for more and more. Oh, I want to do this Camp one. Do this camp. And we've had to say, Dude, we can't do camp every single night. Very difficult life. Very difficult life.

Oh, my God. There's more fear and anxiety. College is coming up three years away now. Oh, my God. There's more fear and anxiety. College is coming up three years away now. Oh, my God. There's more fear and anxiety. College is coming up three years away now. Oh, my God. There's more fear and anxiety. College is coming up three years away now. Mm hmm. And I think about this because I have fear and anxiety about my job right now. And I'm in. This is this is part of my issue.

This is part of my development. I don't know if I trust my own emotions because it feels very uncertain at work. The environment has changed. We've had a very big reorg. Some of the leaders that I used to have are now gone. There are a whole bunch of new people in with very new ideas, very different ways of doing business from very far away in the country. One of the things that I have as a strength

is I'm very resilient. I talked to I did a skip level today with my boss boss, and she talked about how we're really asking people to change what worked for you in the past. How you worked before is not what you have to hold on to today. What you have to do is be willing to change how we're doing business, because in a national environment, we can't do the same things you're doing regionally. And I kind of looked at her cross-eyed and said, I'm

good with that. I don't get too wedded to any one idea and know that, okay, I see where we're going. We have to do some changing. And she had very mild feedback from me, very mild feedback of you could do this or that. I look at that, I'm like, I feel like I'm pretty safe here. Oh, yeah. My worries always. I make too much money because I have gotten very good reviews and I have

performed very, very well. I've taken advantage of compounding raises and now I look at that and say, Am I making too much money to be of value to the company? That's what I have fear about. I know the story is a good one, but nope. I picked up the phone yesterday. Oh, good for you. You're doing something right in your program. If you're brand new and you're thinking, if I go to a 12 step meeting or however you get sober or whatever, whatever type of program you might be in, they're

not really around. I used to drink, and this is how I'm either going to learn how to drink better or this is how I'm going to sit a certain way so I don't drink anymore. It's not about the mechanics of drinking. It's about your feelings and it's about things like this. And fears and anxiety can be a trigger for many people. It's definitely a trigger for me. What I have learned going through a 12 step program is how to handle them, that I'm not

alone. Other people have them, and these are the things you need to do to get through them. Programs that help you through addiction are really programs that help you navigate life. If you have those life skills, you don't need substances to get through them. That's the dirty secret. Mm hmm. Absolutely. When I was thinking of this topic, I was thinking about the fear and anxiety and then thinking about vulnerability and realizing these are a lot of the same topics. I wasn't vulnerable

before. I wasn't asking for help. The cure is to be as vulnerable as possible and to extend trust to other people, especially other people who are going through the same predicament you are. They may have answers because they went through it. They may be suffering the same thing. And then you both feel you're not alone. You get that validation. It'll help you through. You don't need a drink for that. You can have a conversation and feel better. Mm hmm. When you talked about strong

people, she came to mind. I don't know if she would give herself credit as being a strong person. I consider her incredibly strong. If you think about losing a husband who had a terminal illness for a decent amount of time, living through that strength sometimes is just. I get up out of my bed every day and I live the day that low, that low bar of I'm just I'm going to meetings, I'm continuing to be alive and try and muddle through sometimes.

That's incredible strength just to be able to do that. Mm hmm. This is where you can help another person, Someone like our friend who has gone through a terrible year, had loss, had to suffer through that Loss of being present can be an inspiration for other people, even when you don't realize it. I think about, you know, sometimes you said sometimes the best I can do is show up to a

meeting. You might be underselling yourself because sometimes if you show up to a meeting, there can be a better meeting for somebody else that if a couple people who just always show up to that meeting, stop showing up that meeting might go away, or the quality of sobriety there might not be good enough for the new person.

There's always going to be people filing in and out of meetings, but having even if it's like two or three people who are that core who are there every single time, that can be the stability for somebody else. Yep. Mm hmm. That was important to me early on, is seeing some people that I typically saw going to a few meetings and I could just tag along and know, okay, I know those person. They go to these three meetings, I know I'll be safe there because at least I'll know some people because it's

scary. It's scary when you first start and you go to these these meetings and church basements with these shady looking people, some of these people and, you know, why do I belong here? Yeah, Yeah, me too. What do you think in terms of step work, fear and anxiety? What are steps that you can use to help you out? Yeah, I'm thinking step three alone. Sometimes there's some prayer, some meditation that's going to help. No.

I've done some. I've done some roller coaster therapy, which has helped me in this, that we have these season tickets, the Six Flags. And I've never gone on roller coasters or any exciting ride in my life. But we have these things and on one hand, I want to take advantage of the ticket that I have, and the other hand is I don't want to be barred from an experience because I have fear. So I started going on these roller coasters, Superman. The ride is the one I had been waiting for.

Superman, The ride, if you don't know, it is kind of what you think it is. It's the biggest roller coaster in New England. It goes up to about it's the highest roller coaster, goes about 77 miles an hour. It goes way up like you. You time it out. It's about a minute that you're going up. And if you see it from the ground, it looks like, why the hell would I ever go on that? That looks scary as hell. And it's it's long. It goes a long, long way. And I wasn't going to

go on at the last time. And I finally said, I got to do this, I got to do this. And so my son sat next to me, which I was grateful for, and I had an experience with him. And you go up and you can see the river and you go down and I can't even remember half of this stuff because it was so intense. And I realized going on these roller coasters, the thing I fear is the things I cannot control.

Because when you get to the top in the roller coaster goes over and you've turned that potential energy into kinetic energy, it's the thing of you've got to go from the top to the station. There's no way you can stop and you have to just go with it and you have to go wherever that train's going, be it upside down or on the side or faster up and down through the tunnel. And there's nothing you can do to stop it. And I don't like that lack of control. I finally

realized that thing. I went on the sky screamer, which I realized was a mistake, was a mistake. This is a swing that goes up 425 feet and swings out at 40 miles an hour and the wind changes, and my swing turned backwards because of the weight differential between my daughter and I close my eyes the whole way. But it was that lack of control is now that it's gone up. The only thing I can do is to continue going up so I can come back down and there's nothing I

can do about it. And it's that lack of my control to stop it. That is my issue. And I'm doing this less because I'm enjoying the roller coaster and more of I need to get my way through this to understand why I fear this and how does it how does it bother me in other parts of life? Where does it affect me in other parts of life? So I can get past that too, So I can go down this roller coaster and deal with not being able to control where it's going to go.

Maybe this will help me with other things. Yeah. My wife told me I looked I was white as a ghost when she saw me swinging by. Yeah. You want more out of control? Try Wicked Cyclone. Even though Wicked Cyclone is smaller, you go up and it's a 90 degree drop. It goes straight down immediately into a curve and then into an invert. So you want to talk about not being in control that your body doesn't know which way it's going because it goes down and then you go on to the side and then

you're going upside down. There were times where I was bracing to go one way and the car went the other. That my body was totally confused. Talk about out of control and I'll tell you, I felt accomplished. I'm like, I did this. I actually got on these big, scary things and I did it. Now, before the season ends, I'm going to do a few more. I got two tickets. I might as well do it. Well, if you like this show, you can go to buy me a coffee dot com slash sober friends pod.

If you feel that this podcast is worth something, whatever it's worth to you, you have the opportunity to keep us going there with a donation. We do have expenses and you help us defray some of those costs. Head over to Super Friends podcast, Sign up for the newsletter, send out a weekly email or whenever I'm on another podcast or whatever, just to let you know what we're going, what's going on? I try and link to some type

of sober news story. It's very short, it is very infrequent, but it keeps you in touch with us. Steve, thanks for coming on and being vulnerable with fears and anxieties. And we'll see you next week by everybody. Oh, yeah. My worries always. I make too much money because I have gotten very good reviews and I have performed very, very well. I've taken advantage of compounding raises and now I look at that and say, Am I making too much money to be of value to the

company? That's what I have fear about. I know the story is a good one, but nope. I picked up the phone yesterday. Oh, good for you. You're doing something right in your program. If you're brand new and you're thinking, if I go to a 12 step meeting or however you get sober or whatever, whatever type of program you might be in, they're not really around. I used to drink, and this is how I'm either going to learn how to drink better or this is how I'm going to sit a certain way so I

don't drink anymore. It's not about the mechanics of drinking. It's about your feelings and it's about things like this. And fears and anxiety can be a trigger for many people. It's definitely a trigger for me. What I have learned going through a 12 step program is how to handle them, that I'm not alone. Other people have them, and these are the things you need to do to get through them. Programs that help you through addiction are really programs

that help you navigate life. If you have those life skills, you don't need substances to get through them. That's the dirty secret. Mm hmm. Absolutely. When I was thinking of this topic, I was thinking about the fear and anxiety and then thinking about vulnerability and realizing these are a lot of the same topics. I wasn't vulnerable before. I wasn't asking for help.

The cure is to be as vulnerable as possible and to extend trust to other people, especially other people who are going through the same predicament you are. They may have answers because they went through it. They may be suffering the same thing. And then you both feel you're not alone. You get that validation. It'll help you through. You don't need a drink for that. You can have a conversation and feel better. Mm hmm. When you talked about strong

people, she came to mind. I don't know if she would give herself credit as being a strong person. I consider her incredibly strong. If you think about losing a husband who had a terminal illness for a decent amount of time, living through that strength sometimes is just. I get up out of my bed every day and I live the day that low, that low bar of I'm just I'm going to meetings, I'm continuing to be alive and try and muddle through sometimes.

That's incredible strength just to be able to do that. Mm hmm. This is where you can help another person, Someone like our friend who has gone through a terrible year, had loss, had to suffer through that Loss of being present can be an inspiration for other people, even when you don't realize it. I think about, you know, sometimes you said sometimes the best I can do is show up to a

meeting. You might be underselling yourself because sometimes if you show up to a meeting, there can be a better meeting for somebody else that if a couple people who just always show up to that meeting, stop showing up that meeting might go away, or the quality of sobriety there might not be good enough for the new person.

There's always going to be people filing in and out of meetings, but having even if it's like two or three people who are that core who are there every single time, that can be the stability for somebody else. Yep. Mm hmm. That was important to me early on, is seeing some people that I typically saw going to a few meetings and I could just tag along and know, okay, I know those person. They go to these three meetings, I know I'll be safe there because at least I'll know some people because it's

scary. It's scary when you first start and you go to these these meetings and church basements with these shady looking people, some of these people and, you know, why do I belong here? Yeah, Yeah, me too. What do you think in terms of step work, fear and anxiety? What are steps that you can use to help you out? Yeah, I'm thinking step three alone. Sometimes there's some prayer, some meditation that's going to help. No.

I've done some. I've done some roller coaster therapy, which has helped me in this, that we have these season tickets, the Six Flags. And I've never gone on roller coasters or any exciting ride in my life. But we have these things and on one hand, I want to take advantage of the ticket that I have, and the other hand is I don't want to be barred from an experience because I have fear. So I started going on these roller coasters, Superman. The ride is the one I had been waiting for.

Superman, The ride, if you don't know, it is kind of what you think it is. It's the biggest roller coaster in New England. It goes up to about it's the highest roller coaster, goes about 77 miles an hour. It goes way up like you. You time it out. It's about a minute that you're going up. And if you see it from the ground, it looks like, why the hell would I ever go on that? That looks scary as hell. And it's it's long. It goes a long, long way. And I wasn't going to

go on at the last time. And I finally said, I got to do this, I got to do this. And so my son sat next to me, which I was grateful for, and I had an experience with him. And you go up and you can see the river and you go down and I can't even remember half of this stuff because it was so intense. And I realized going on these roller coasters, the thing I fear is the things I cannot control.

Because when you get to the top in the roller coaster goes over and you've turned that potential energy into kinetic energy, it's the thing of you've got to go from the top to the station. There's no way you can stop and you have to just go with it and you have to go wherever that train's going, be it upside down or on the side or faster up and down through the tunnel. And there's nothing you can do to stop it. And I don't like that lack of control. I finally

realized that thing. I went on the sky screamer, which I realized was a mistake, was a mistake. This is a swing that goes up 425 feet and swings out at 40 miles an hour and the wind changes, and my swing turned backwards because of the weight differential between my daughter and I close my eyes the whole way. But it was that lack of control is now that it's gone up. The only thing I can do is to continue going up so I can come back down and there's nothing I

can do about it. And it's that lack of my control to stop it. That is my issue. And I'm doing this less because I'm enjoying the roller coaster and more of I need to get my way through this to understand why I fear this and how does it how does it bother me in other parts of life? Where does it affect me in other parts of life? So I can get past that too, So I can go down this roller coaster and deal with not being able to control where it's going to go.

Maybe this will help me with other things. Yeah. My wife told me I looked I was white as a ghost when she saw me swinging by. Yeah. You want more out of control? Try Wicked Cyclone. Even though Wicked Cyclone is smaller, you go up and it's a 90 degree drop. It goes straight down immediately into a curve and then into an invert. So you want to talk about not being in control that your body doesn't know which way it's going because it goes down and then you go on to the side and then

you're going upside down. There were times where I was bracing to go one way and the car went the other. That my body was totally confused. Talk about out of control and I'll tell you, I felt accomplished. I'm like, I did this. I actually got on these big, scary things and I did it. Now, before the season ends, I'm going to do a few more. I got two tickets. I might as well do it. Well, if you like this show, you can go to buy me a coffee dot com slash sober friends pod.

If you feel that this podcast is worth something, whatever it's worth to you, you have the opportunity to keep us going there with a donation. We do have expenses and you help us defray some of those costs. Head over to Super Friends podcast, Sign up for the newsletter, send out a weekly email or whenever I'm on another podcast or whatever, just to let you know what we're going, what's going on? I try and link to some type

of sober news story. It's very short, it is very infrequent, but it keeps you in touch with us. Steve, thanks for coming on and being vulnerable with fears and anxieties. And we'll see you next week by everybody. My worries always. I make too much money because I have gotten very good reviews and I have performed very, very well. I've taken advantage of compounding raises and now I look at that and say, Am I making too much money to be of value to the company? That's what I have fear about.

I know the story is a good one, but nope. I picked up the phone yesterday. Oh, good for you. You're doing something right in your program. If you're brand new and you're thinking, if I go to a 12 step meeting or however you get sober or whatever, whatever type of program you might be in, they're not really around. I used to drink, and this is how I'm either going to learn how to drink better or this is how I'm going to sit a certain way so I

don't drink anymore. It's not about the mechanics of drinking. It's about your feelings and it's about things like this. And fears and anxiety can be a trigger for many people. It's definitely a trigger for me. What I have learned going through a 12 step program is how to handle them, that I'm not alone. Other people have them, and these are the things you need to do to get through them. Programs that help you through addiction are really programs

that help you navigate life. If you have those life skills, you don't need substances to get through them. That's the dirty secret. Mm hmm. Absolutely. When I was thinking of this topic, I was thinking about the fear and anxiety and then thinking about vulnerability and realizing these are a lot of the same topics. I wasn't vulnerable before. I wasn't asking for help.

The cure is to be as vulnerable as possible and to extend trust to other people, especially other people who are going through the same predicament you are. They may have answers because they went through it. They may be suffering the same thing. And then you both feel you're not alone. You get that validation. It'll help you through. You don't need a drink for that. You can have a conversation and feel better. Mm hmm. When you talked about strong

people, she came to mind. I don't know if she would give herself credit as being a strong person. I consider her incredibly strong. If you think about losing a husband who had a terminal illness for a decent amount of time, living through that strength sometimes is just. I get up out of my bed every day and I live the day that low, that low bar of I'm just I'm going to meetings, I'm continuing to be alive and try and muddle through sometimes.

That's incredible strength just to be able to do that. Mm hmm. This is where you can help another person, Someone like our friend who has gone through a terrible year, had loss, had to suffer through that Loss of being present can be an inspiration for other people, even when you don't realize it. I think about, you know, sometimes you said sometimes the best I can do is show up to a

meeting. You might be underselling yourself because sometimes if you show up to a meeting, there can be a better meeting for somebody else that if a couple people who just always show up to that meeting, stop showing up that meeting might go away, or the quality of sobriety there might not be good enough for the new person.

There's always going to be people filing in and out of meetings, but having even if it's like two or three people who are that core who are there every single time, that can be the stability for somebody else. Yep. Mm hmm. That was important to me early on, is seeing some people that I typically saw going to a few meetings and I could just tag along and know, okay, I know those person. They go to these three meetings, I know I'll be safe there because at least I'll know some people because it's

scary. It's scary when you first start and you go to these these meetings and church basements with these shady looking people, some of these people and, you know, why do I belong here? Yeah, Yeah, me too. What do you think in terms of step work, fear and anxiety? What are steps that you can use to help you out? Yeah, I'm thinking step three alone. Sometimes there's some prayer, some meditation that's going to help. No.

I've done some. I've done some roller coaster therapy, which has helped me in this, that we have these season tickets, the Six Flags. And I've never gone on roller coasters or any exciting ride in my life. But we have these things and on one hand, I want to take advantage of the ticket that I have, and the other hand is I don't want to be barred from an experience because I have fear. So I started going on these roller coasters, Superman. The ride is the one I had been waiting for.

Superman, The ride, if you don't know, it is kind of what you think it is. It's the biggest roller coaster in New England. It goes up to about it's the highest roller coaster, goes about 77 miles an hour. It goes way up like you. You time it out. It's about a minute that you're going up. And if you see it from the ground, it looks like, why the hell would I ever go on that? That looks scary as hell. And it's it's long. It goes a long, long way. And I wasn't going to

go on at the last time. And I finally said, I got to do this, I got to do this. And so my son sat next to me, which I was grateful for, and I had an experience with him. And you go up and you can see the river and you go down and I can't even remember half of this stuff because it was so intense. And I realized going on these roller coasters, the thing I fear is the things I cannot control.

Because when you get to the top in the roller coaster goes over and you've turned that potential energy into kinetic energy, it's the thing of you've got to go from the top to the station. There's no way you can stop and you have to just go with it and you have to go wherever that train's going, be it upside down or on the side or faster up and down through the tunnel. And there's nothing you can do to stop it. And I don't like that lack of control. I finally

realized that thing. I went on the sky screamer, which I realized was a mistake, was a mistake. This is a swing that goes up 425 feet and swings out at 40 miles an hour and the wind changes, and my swing turned backwards because of the weight differential between my daughter and I close my eyes the whole way. But it was that lack of control is now that it's gone up. The only thing I can do is to continue going up so I can come back down and there's nothing I

can do about it. And it's that lack of my control to stop it. That is my issue. And I'm doing this less because I'm enjoying the roller coaster and more of I need to get my way through this to understand why I fear this and how does it how does it bother me in other parts of life? Where does it affect me in other parts of life? So I can get past that too, So I can go down this roller coaster and deal with not being able to control where it's going to go.

Maybe this will help me with other things. Yeah. My wife told me I looked I was white as a ghost when she saw me swinging by. Yeah. You want more out of control? Try Wicked Cyclone. Even though Wicked Cyclone is smaller, you go up and it's a 90 degree drop. It goes straight down immediately into a curve and then into an invert. So you want to talk about not being in control that your body doesn't know which way it's going because it goes down and then you go on to the side and then

you're going upside down. There were times where I was bracing to go one way and the car went the other. That my body was totally confused. Talk about out of control and I'll tell you, I felt accomplished. I'm like, I did this. I actually got on these big, scary things and I did it. Now, before the season ends, I'm going to do a few more. I got two tickets. I might as well do it. Well, if you like this show, you can go to buy me a coffee dot com slash sober friends pod.

If you feel that this podcast is worth something, whatever it's worth to you, you have the opportunity to keep us going there with a donation. We do have expenses and you help us defray some of those costs. Head over to Super Friends podcast, Sign up for the newsletter, send out a weekly email or whenever I'm on another podcast or whatever, just to let you know what we're going, what's going on? I try and link to some type

of sober news story. It's very short, it is very infrequent, but it keeps you in touch with us. Steve, thanks for coming on and being vulnerable with fears and anxieties. And we'll see you next week by everybody. I know the story is a good one, but nope. I picked up the phone yesterday. Oh, good for you. You're doing something right in your program.

If you're brand new and you're thinking, if I go to a 12 step meeting or however you get sober or whatever, whatever type of program you might be in, they're not really around. I used to drink, and this is how I'm either going to learn how to drink better or this is how I'm going to sit a certain way so I don't drink anymore. It's not about the mechanics of drinking. It's about your feelings and it's about things like this. And fears and anxiety can be a

trigger for many people. It's definitely a trigger for me. What I have learned going through a 12 step program is how to handle them, that I'm not alone. Other people have them, and these are the things you need to do to get through them. Programs that help you through addiction are really programs that help you navigate life. If you have those life skills, you don't need substances to get through them. That's the dirty secret. Mm hmm.

Absolutely. When I was thinking of this topic, I was thinking about the fear and anxiety and then thinking about vulnerability and realizing these are a lot of the same topics. I wasn't vulnerable before. I wasn't asking for help. The cure is to be as vulnerable as possible and to extend trust to other people, especially other people who are going through the same predicament you are. They may have answers because they went through it. They may be suffering the same

thing. And then you both feel you're not alone. You get that validation. It'll help you through. You don't need a drink for that. You can have a conversation and feel better. Mm hmm. When you talked about strong people, she came to mind. I don't know if she would give herself credit as being a strong person. I consider her incredibly strong. If you think about losing a husband who had a terminal illness for a decent amount of time, living through that strength sometimes is just.

I get up out of my bed every day and I live the day that low, that low bar of I'm just I'm going to meetings, I'm continuing to be alive and try and muddle through sometimes. That's incredible strength just to be able to do that. Mm hmm. This is where you can help another person, Someone like our friend who has gone through a terrible year, had loss, had to suffer through that Loss of being present can be an inspiration for other people, even when you don't realize it.

I think about, you know, sometimes you said sometimes the best I can do is show up to a meeting. You might be underselling yourself because sometimes if you show up to a meeting, there can be a better meeting for somebody else that if a couple people who just always show up to that meeting, stop showing up that meeting might go away, or the quality of sobriety there might not be good enough for the new person.

There's always going to be people filing in and out of meetings, but having even if it's like two or three people who are that core who are there every single time, that can be the stability for somebody else. Yep. Mm hmm. That was important to me early on, is seeing some people that I typically saw going to a few meetings and I could just tag along and know, okay, I know those person. They go to these three meetings, I know I'll be safe there because at least I'll know some people because it's

scary. It's scary when you first start and you go to these these meetings and church basements with these shady looking people, some of these people and, you know, why do I belong here? Yeah, Yeah, me too. What do you think in terms of step work, fear and anxiety? What are steps that you can use to help you out? Yeah, I'm thinking step three alone. Sometimes there's some prayer, some meditation that's going to help. No.

I've done some. I've done some roller coaster therapy, which has helped me in this, that we have these season tickets, the Six Flags. And I've never gone on roller coasters or any exciting ride in my life. But we have these things and on one hand, I want to take advantage of the ticket that I have, and the other hand is I don't want to be barred from an experience because I have fear. So I started going on these roller coasters, Superman. The ride is the one I had been waiting for.

Superman, The ride, if you don't know, it is kind of what you think it is. It's the biggest roller coaster in New England. It goes up to about it's the highest roller coaster, goes about 77 miles an hour. It goes way up like you. You time it out. It's about a minute that you're going up. And if you see it from the ground, it looks like, why the hell would I ever go on that? That looks scary as hell. And it's it's long. It goes a long, long way. And I wasn't going to

go on at the last time. And I finally said, I got to do this, I got to do this. And so my son sat next to me, which I was grateful for, and I had an experience with him. And you go up and you can see the river and you go down and I can't even remember half of this stuff because it was so intense. And I realized going on these roller coasters, the thing I fear is the things I cannot control.

Because when you get to the top in the roller coaster goes over and you've turned that potential energy into kinetic energy, it's the thing of you've got to go from the top to the station. There's no way you can stop and you have to just go with it and you have to go wherever that train's going, be it upside down or on the side or faster up and down through the tunnel. And there's nothing you can do to stop it. And I don't like that lack of control. I finally

realized that thing. I went on the sky screamer, which I realized was a mistake, was a mistake. This is a swing that goes up 425 feet and swings out at 40 miles an hour and the wind changes, and my swing turned backwards because of the weight differential between my daughter and I close my eyes the whole way. But it was that lack of control is now that it's gone up. The only thing I can do is to continue going up so I can come back down and there's nothing I

can do about it. And it's that lack of my control to stop it. That is my issue. And I'm doing this less because I'm enjoying the roller coaster and more of I need to get my way through this to understand why I fear this and how does it how does it bother me in other parts of life? Where does it affect me in other parts of life? So I can get past that too, So I can go down this roller coaster and deal with not being able to control where it's going to go.

Maybe this will help me with other things. Yeah. My wife told me I looked I was white as a ghost when she saw me swinging by. Yeah. You want more out of control? Try Wicked Cyclone. Even though Wicked Cyclone is smaller, you go up and it's a 90 degree drop. It goes straight down immediately into a curve and then into an invert. So you want to talk about not being in control that your body doesn't know which way it's going because it goes down and then you go on to the side and then

you're going upside down. There were times where I was bracing to go one way and the car went the other. That my body was totally confused. Talk about out of control and I'll tell you, I felt accomplished. I'm like, I did this. I actually got on these big, scary things and I did it. Now, before the season ends, I'm going to do a few more. I got two tickets. I might as well do it. Well, if you like this show, you can go to buy me a coffee dot com slash sober friends pod.

If you feel that this podcast is worth something, whatever it's worth to you, you have the opportunity to keep us going there with a donation. We do have expenses and you help us defray some of those costs. Head over to Super Friends podcast, Sign up for the newsletter, send out a weekly email or whenever I'm on another podcast or whatever, just to let you know what we're going, what's going on? I try and link to some type

of sober news story. It's very short, it is very infrequent, but it keeps you in touch with us. Steve, thanks for coming on and being vulnerable with fears and anxieties. And we'll see you next week by everybody. I know the story is a good one, but nope. I picked up the phone yesterday. Oh, good for you. You're doing something right in your program.

If you're brand new and you're thinking, if I go to a 12 step meeting or however you get sober or whatever, whatever type of program you might be in, they're not really around. I used to drink, and this is how I'm either going to learn how to drink better or this is how I'm going to sit a certain way so I don't drink anymore. It's not about the mechanics of drinking. It's about your feelings and it's about things like this. And fears and anxiety can be a

trigger for many people. It's definitely a trigger for me. What I have learned going through a 12 step program is how to handle them, that I'm not alone. Other people have them, and these are the things you need to do to get through them. Programs that help you through addiction are really programs that help you navigate life. If you have those life skills, you don't need substances to get through them. That's the dirty secret. Mm hmm.

Absolutely. When I was thinking of this topic, I was thinking about the fear and anxiety and then thinking about vulnerability and realizing these are a lot of the same topics. I wasn't vulnerable before. I wasn't asking for help. The cure is to be as vulnerable as possible and to extend trust to other people, especially other people who are going through the same predicament you are. They may have answers because they went through it. They may be suffering the same

thing. And then you both feel you're not alone. You get that validation. It'll help you through. You don't need a drink for that. You can have a conversation and feel better. Mm hmm. When you talked about strong people, she came to mind. I don't know if she would give herself credit as being a strong person. I consider her incredibly strong. If you think about losing a husband who had a terminal illness for a decent amount of time, living through that strength sometimes is just.

I get up out of my bed every day and I live the day that low, that low bar of I'm just I'm going to meetings, I'm continuing to be alive and try and muddle through sometimes. That's incredible strength just to be able to do that. Mm hmm. This is where you can help another person, Someone like our friend who has gone through a terrible year, had loss, had to suffer through that Loss of being present can be an inspiration for other people, even when you don't realize it.

I think about, you know, sometimes you said sometimes the best I can do is show up to a meeting. You might be underselling yourself because sometimes if you show up to a meeting, there can be a better meeting for somebody else that if a couple people who just always show up to that meeting, stop showing up that meeting might go away, or the quality of sobriety there might not be good enough for the new person.

There's always going to be people filing in and out of meetings, but having even if it's like two or three people who are that core who are there every single time, that can be the stability for somebody else. Yep. Mm hmm. That was important to me early on, is seeing some people that I typically saw going to a few meetings and I could just tag along and know, okay, I know those person. They go to these three meetings, I know I'll be safe there because at least I'll know some people because it's

scary. It's scary when you first start and you go to these these meetings and church basements with these shady looking people, some of these people and, you know, why do I belong here? Yeah, Yeah, me too. What do you think in terms of step work, fear and anxiety? What are steps that you can use to help you out? Yeah, I'm thinking step three alone. Sometimes there's some prayer, some meditation that's going to help. No.

I've done some. I've done some roller coaster therapy, which has helped me in this, that we have these season tickets, the Six Flags. And I've never gone on roller coasters or any exciting ride in my life. But we have these things and on one hand, I want to take advantage of the ticket that I have, and the other hand is I don't want to be barred from an experience because I have fear. So I started going on these roller coasters, Superman. The ride is the one I had been waiting for.

Superman, The ride, if you don't know, it is kind of what you think it is. It's the biggest roller coaster in New England. It goes up to about it's the highest roller coaster, goes about 77 miles an hour. It goes way up like you. You time it out. It's about a minute that you're going up. And if you see it from the ground, it looks like, why the hell would I ever go on that? That looks scary as hell. And it's it's long. It goes a long, long way. And I wasn't going to

go on at the last time. And I finally said, I got to do this, I got to do this. And so my son sat next to me, which I was grateful for, and I had an experience with him. And you go up and you can see the river and you go down and I can't even remember half of this stuff because it was so intense. And I realized going on these roller coasters, the thing I fear is the things I cannot control.

Because when you get to the top in the roller coaster goes over and you've turned that potential energy into kinetic energy, it's the thing of you've got to go from the top to the station. There's no way you can stop and you have to just go with it and you have to go wherever that train's going, be it upside down or on the side or faster up and down through the tunnel. And there's nothing you can do to stop it. And I don't like that lack of control. I finally

realized that thing. I went on the sky screamer, which I realized was a mistake, was a mistake. This is a swing that goes up 425 feet and swings out at 40 miles an hour and the wind changes, and my swing turned backwards because of the weight differential between my daughter and I close my eyes the whole way. But it was that lack of control is now that it's gone up. The only thing I can do is to continue going up so I can come back down and there's nothing I

can do about it. And it's that lack of my control to stop it. That is my issue. And I'm doing this less because I'm enjoying the roller coaster and more of I need to get my way through this to understand why I fear this and how does it how does it bother me in other parts of life? Where does it affect me in other parts of life? So I can get past that too, So I can go down this roller coaster and deal with not being able to control where it's going to go.

Maybe this will help me with other things. Yeah. My wife told me I looked I was white as a ghost when she saw me swinging by. Yeah. You want more out of control? Try Wicked Cyclone. Even though Wicked Cyclone is smaller, you go up and it's a 90 degree drop. It goes straight down immediately into a curve and then into an invert. So you want to talk about not being in control that your body doesn't know which way it's going because it goes down and then you go on to the side and then

you're going upside down. There were times where I was bracing to go one way and the car went the other. That my body was totally confused. Talk about out of control and I'll tell you, I felt accomplished. I'm like, I did this. I actually got on these big, scary things and I did it. Now, before the season ends, I'm going to do a few more. I got two tickets. I might as well do it. Well, if you like this show, you can go to buy me a coffee dot com slash sober friends pod.

If you feel that this podcast is worth something, whatever it's worth to you, you have the opportunity to keep us going there with a donation. We do have expenses and you help us defray some of those costs. Head over to Super Friends podcast, Sign up for the newsletter, send out a weekly email or whenever I'm on another podcast or whatever, just to let you know what we're going, what's going on? I try and link to some type

of sober news story. It's very short, it is very infrequent, but it keeps you in touch with us. Steve, thanks for coming on and being vulnerable with fears and anxieties. And we'll see you next week by everybody. I know the story is a good one, nope. I picked up the phone yesterday. nope. I picked up the phone yesterday. Oh, good for you. You're doing something right in your program.

If you're brand new and you're thinking, if I go to a 12 step meeting or however you get sober or whatever, whatever type of program you might be in, they're not really around. I used to drink, and this is how I'm either going to learn how to drink better or this is how I'm going to sit a certain way so I don't drink anymore. It's not about the mechanics of drinking. It's about your feelings and it's about things like this. And fears and anxiety can be a

trigger for many people. It's definitely a trigger for me. What I have learned going through a 12 step program is how to handle them, that I'm not alone. Other people have them, and these are the things you need to do to get through them. Programs that help you through addiction are really programs that help you navigate life. If you have those life skills, you don't need substances to get through them. That's the dirty secret. Mm hmm.

Absolutely. When I was thinking of this topic, I was thinking about the fear and anxiety and then thinking about vulnerability and realizing these are a lot of the same topics. I wasn't vulnerable before. I wasn't asking for help. The cure is to be as vulnerable as possible and to extend trust to other people, especially other people who are going through the same predicament you are. They may have answers because they went through it. They may be suffering the same

thing. And then you both feel you're not alone. You get that validation. It'll help you through. You don't need a drink for that. You can have a conversation and feel better. Mm hmm. When you talked about strong people, she came to mind. I don't know if she would give herself credit as being a strong person. I consider her incredibly strong. If you think about losing a husband who had a terminal illness for a decent amount of time, living through that strength sometimes is just.

I get up out of my bed every day and I live the day that low, that low bar of I'm just I'm going to meetings, I'm continuing to be alive and try and muddle through sometimes. That's incredible strength just to be able to do that. Mm hmm. This is where you can help another person, Someone like our friend who has gone through a terrible year, had loss, had to suffer through that Loss of being present can be an inspiration for other people, even when you don't realize it.

I think about, you know, sometimes you said sometimes the best I can do is show up to a meeting. You might be underselling yourself because sometimes if you show up to a meeting, there can be a better meeting for somebody else that if a couple people who just always show up to that meeting, stop showing up that meeting might go away, or the quality of sobriety there might not be good enough for the new person.

There's always going to be people filing in and out of meetings, but having even if it's like two or three people who are that core who are there every single time, that can be the stability for somebody else. Yep. Mm hmm. That was important to me early on, is seeing some people that I typically saw going to a few meetings and I could just tag along and know, okay, I know those person. They go to these three meetings, I know I'll be safe there because at least I'll know some people because it's

scary. It's scary when you first start and you go to these these meetings and church basements with these shady looking people, some of these people and, you know, why do I belong here? Yeah, Yeah, me too. What do you think in terms of step work, fear and anxiety? What are steps that you can use to help you out? Yeah, I'm thinking step three alone. Sometimes there's some prayer, some meditation that's going to help. No.

I've done some. I've done some roller coaster therapy, which has helped me in this, that we have these season tickets, the Six Flags. And I've never gone on roller coasters or any exciting ride in my life. But we have these things and on one hand, I want to take advantage of the ticket that I have, and the other hand is I don't want to be barred from an experience because I have fear. So I started going on these roller coasters, Superman. The ride is the one I had been waiting for.

Superman, The ride, if you don't know, it is kind of what you think it is. It's the biggest roller coaster in New England. It goes up to about it's the highest roller coaster, goes about 77 miles an hour. It goes way up like you. You time it out. It's about a minute that you're going up. And if you see it from the ground, it looks like, why the hell would I ever go on that? That looks scary as hell. And it's it's long. It goes a long, long way. And I wasn't going to

go on at the last time. And I finally said, I got to do this, I got to do this. And so my son sat next to me, which I was grateful for, and I had an experience with him. And you go up and you can see the river and you go down and I can't even remember half of this stuff because it was so intense. And I realized going on these roller coasters, the thing I fear is the things I cannot control.

Because when you get to the top in the roller coaster goes over and you've turned that potential energy into kinetic energy, it's the thing of you've got to go from the top to the station. There's no way you can stop and you have to just go with it and you have to go wherever that train's going, be it upside down or on the side or faster up and down through the tunnel. And there's nothing you can do to stop it. And I don't like that lack of control. I finally

realized that thing. I went on the sky screamer, which I realized was a mistake, was a mistake. This is a swing that goes up 425 feet and swings out at 40 miles an hour and the wind changes, and my swing turned backwards because of the weight differential between my daughter and I close my eyes the whole way. But it was that lack of control is now that it's gone up. The only thing I can do is to continue going up so I can come back down and there's nothing I

can do about it. And it's that lack of my control to stop it. That is my issue. And I'm doing this less because I'm enjoying the roller coaster and more of I need to get my way through this to understand why I fear this and how does it how does it bother me in other parts of life? Where does it affect me in other parts of life? So I can get past that too, So I can go down this roller coaster and deal with not being able to control where it's going to go.

Maybe this will help me with other things. Yeah. My wife told me I looked I was white as a ghost when she saw me swinging by. Yeah. You want more out of control? Try Wicked Cyclone. Even though Wicked Cyclone is smaller, you go up and it's a 90 degree drop. It goes straight down immediately into a curve and then into an invert. So you want to talk about not being in control that your body doesn't know which way it's going because it goes down and then you go on to the side and then

you're going upside down. There were times where I was bracing to go one way and the car went the other. That my body was totally confused. Talk about out of control and I'll tell you, I felt accomplished. I'm like, I did this. I actually got on these big, scary things and I did it. Now, before the season ends, I'm going to do a few more. I got two tickets. I might as well do it. Well, if you like this show, you can go to buy me a coffee dot com slash sober friends pod.

If you feel that this podcast is worth something, whatever it's worth to you, you have the opportunity to keep us going there with a donation. We do have expenses and you help us defray some of those costs. Head over to Super Friends podcast, Sign up for the newsletter, send out a weekly email or whenever I'm on another podcast or whatever, just to let you know what we're going, what's going on? I try and link to some type

of sober news story. It's very short, it is very infrequent, but it keeps you in touch with us. Steve, thanks for coming on and being vulnerable with fears and anxieties. And we'll see you next week by everybody. If you're brand new and you're thinking, if I go to a 12 step meeting or however you get sober or whatever, whatever type of program you might be in,

they're not really around. I used to drink, and this is how I'm either going to learn how to drink better or this is how I'm going to sit a certain way so I don't drink anymore. It's not about the mechanics of drinking. It's about your feelings and it's about things like this. And fears and anxiety can be a trigger for many people. It's definitely a trigger for me. What I have learned going through a 12 step program is how to handle them, that I'm not

alone. Other people have them, and these are the things you need to do to get through them. Programs that help you through addiction are really programs that help you navigate life. If you have those life skills, you don't need substances to get through them. That's the dirty secret. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Absolutely. When I was thinking of this topic, I was thinking about the fear and anxiety and then thinking about vulnerability and realizing these are a lot of the same topics. I wasn't vulnerable

before. I wasn't asking for help. The cure is to be as vulnerable as possible and to extend trust to other people, especially other people who are going through the same predicament you are. They may have answers because they went through it. They may be suffering the same thing. And then you both feel you're not alone. You get that validation. It'll help you through. You don't need a drink for that. You can have a conversation and feel better. Mm hmm. When you talked about strong

people, she came to mind. I don't know if she would give herself credit as being a strong person. I consider her incredibly strong. If you think about losing a husband who had a terminal illness for a decent amount of time, living through that strength sometimes is just. I get up out of my bed every day and I live the day that low, that low bar of I'm just I'm going to meetings, I'm continuing to be alive and try and muddle through sometimes.

That's incredible strength just to be able to do that. Mm hmm. This is where you can help another person, Someone like our friend who has gone through a terrible year, had loss, had to suffer through that Loss of being present can be an inspiration for other people, even when you don't realize it. I think about, you know, sometimes you said sometimes the best I can do is show up to a

meeting. You might be underselling yourself because sometimes if you show up to a meeting, there can be a better meeting for somebody else that if a couple people who just always show up to that meeting, stop showing up that meeting might go away, or the quality of sobriety there might not be good enough for the new person.

There's always going to be people filing in and out of meetings, but having even if it's like two or three people who are that core who are there every single time, that can be the stability for somebody else. Yep. Mm hmm. That was important to me early on, is seeing some people that I typically saw going to a few meetings and I could just tag along and know, okay, I know those person. They go to these three meetings, I know I'll be safe there because at least I'll know some people because it's

scary. It's scary when you first start and you go to these these meetings and church basements with these shady looking people, some of these people and, you know, why do I belong here? Yeah, Yeah, me too. What do you think in terms of step work, fear and anxiety? What are steps that you can use to help you out? Yeah, I'm thinking step three alone. Sometimes there's some prayer, some meditation that's going to help. No.

I've done some. I've done some roller coaster therapy, which has helped me in this, that we have these season tickets, the Six Flags. And I've never gone on roller coasters or any exciting ride in my life. But we have these things and on one hand, I want to take advantage of the ticket that I have, and the other hand is I don't want to be barred from an experience because I have fear. So I started going on these roller coasters, Superman. The ride is the one I had been waiting for.

Superman, The ride, if you don't know, it is kind of what you think it is. It's the biggest roller coaster in New England. It goes up to about it's the highest roller coaster, goes about 77 miles an hour. It goes way up like you. You time it out. It's about a minute that you're going up. And if you see it from the ground, it looks like, why the hell would I ever go on that? That looks scary as hell. And it's it's long. It goes a long, long way. And I wasn't going to

go on at the last time. And I finally said, I got to do this, I got to do this. And so my son sat next to me, which I was grateful for, and I had an experience with him. And you go up and you can see the river and you go down and I can't even remember half of this stuff because it was so intense. And I realized going on these roller coasters, the thing I fear is the things I cannot control.

Because when you get to the top in the roller coaster goes over and you've turned that potential energy into kinetic energy, it's the thing of you've got to go from the top to the station. There's no way you can stop and you have to just go with it and you have to go wherever that train's going, be it upside down or on the side or faster up and down through the tunnel. And there's nothing you can do to stop it. And I don't like that lack of control. I finally

realized that thing. I went on the sky screamer, which I realized was a mistake, was a mistake. This is a swing that goes up 425 feet and swings out at 40 miles an hour and the wind changes, and my swing turned backwards because of the weight differential between my daughter and I close my eyes the whole way. But it was that lack of control is now that it's gone up. The only thing I can do is to continue going up so I can come back down and there's nothing I

can do about it. And it's that lack of my control to stop it. That is my issue. And I'm doing this less because I'm enjoying the roller coaster and more of I need to get my way through this to understand why I fear this and how does it how does it bother me in other parts of life? Where does it affect me in other parts of life? So I can get past that too, So I can go down this roller coaster and deal with not being able to control where it's going to go.

Maybe this will help me with other things. Yeah. My wife told me I looked I was white as a ghost when she saw me swinging by. Yeah. You want more out of control? Try Wicked Cyclone. Even though Wicked Cyclone is smaller, you go up and it's a 90 degree drop. It goes straight down immediately into a curve and then into an invert. So you want to talk about not being in control that your body doesn't know which way it's going because it goes down and then you go on to the side and then

you're going upside down. There were times where I was bracing to go one way and the car went the other. That my body was totally confused. Talk about out of control and I'll tell you, I felt accomplished. I'm like, I did this. I actually got on these big, scary things and I did it. Now, before the season ends, I'm going to do a few more. I got two tickets. I might as well do it. Well, if you like this show, you can go to buy me a coffee dot com slash sober friends pod.

If you feel that this podcast is worth something, whatever it's worth to you, you have the opportunity to keep us going there with a donation. We do have expenses and you help us defray some of those costs. Head over to Super Friends podcast, Sign up for the newsletter, send out a weekly email or whenever I'm on another podcast or whatever, just to let you know what we're going, what's going on? I try and link to some type

of sober news story. It's very short, it is very infrequent, but it keeps you in touch with us. Steve, thanks for coming on and being vulnerable with fears and anxieties. And we'll see you next week by everybody. Absolutely. When I was thinking of this topic, I was thinking about the fear and anxiety and then thinking about vulnerability and realizing these are a lot of the same topics. I wasn't vulnerable before. I wasn't asking for help.

The cure is to be as vulnerable as possible and to extend trust to other people, especially other people who are going through the same predicament you are. They may have answers because they went through it. They may be suffering the same thing. And then you both feel you're not alone. You get that validation. It'll help you through. You don't need a drink for that. You can have a conversation and feel better.

Mm hmm. When I was thinking of this topic, I was thinking about the fear and anxiety and then thinking about vulnerability and realizing these are a lot of the same topics. I wasn't vulnerable before. I wasn't asking for help. The cure is to be as vulnerable as possible and to extend trust to other people, especially other people who are going through the same predicament you are. They may have answers because they went through it. They may be suffering the same thing. And then you both feel

you're not alone. You get that validation. It'll help you through. You don't need a drink for that. You can have a conversation and feel better. Mm hmm. You get that validation. It'll help you through. You don't need a drink for that. You can have a conversation and feel better. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. When you talked about strong people, she came to mind. I don't know if she would give herself credit as being a strong person. I consider her

incredibly strong. If you think about losing a husband who had a terminal illness for a decent amount of time, living through that strength sometimes is just. I get up out of my bed every day and I live the day that low, that low bar of I'm just I'm going to meetings, I'm continuing to be alive and try and muddle through sometimes. That's incredible strength just to be able to do that. Mm hmm. When you talked about strong people, she came to mind.

I don't know if she would give herself credit as being a strong person. I consider her incredibly strong. If you think about losing a husband who had a terminal illness for a decent amount of time, living through that strength sometimes is just. I get up out of my bed every day and I live the day that low, that low bar of I'm just I'm going to meetings, I'm continuing to be alive and try and muddle through sometimes. That's incredible strength just to be able to do that.

Mm hmm. When you talked about strong people, she came to mind. I don't know if she would give herself credit as being a strong person. I consider her incredibly strong. If you think about losing a husband who had a terminal illness for a decent amount of time, living through that strength sometimes is just. I get up out of my bed every day and I live the day that low, that low bar of I'm just I'm going to meetings, I'm continuing to be alive and try and muddle through sometimes.

That's incredible strength just to be able to do that. Mm hmm. When you talked about strong people, she came to mind. I don't know if she would give herself credit as being a strong person. I consider her incredibly strong. If you think about losing a husband who had a terminal illness for a decent amount of time, living through that strength sometimes is just.

I get up out of my bed every day and I live the day that low, that low bar of I'm just I'm going to meetings, I'm continuing to be alive and try and muddle through sometimes. That's incredible strength just to be able to do that. Mm hmm. When you talked about strong people, she came to mind. I don't know if she would give herself credit as being a strong person. I consider her

incredibly strong. If you think about losing a husband who had a terminal illness for a decent amount of time, living through that strength sometimes is just. I get up out of my bed every day and I live the day that low, that low bar of I'm just I'm going to meetings, I'm continuing to be alive and try and muddle through sometimes. That's incredible strength just to be able to do that. Mm hmm.

This is where you can help another person, Someone like our friend who has gone through a terrible year, had loss, had to suffer through that Loss of being present can be an inspiration for other people, even when you don't realize it. I think about, you know, sometimes you said sometimes the best I can do is show up to a

meeting. You might be underselling yourself because sometimes if you show up to a meeting, there can be a better meeting for somebody else that if a couple people who just always show up to that meeting, stop showing up that meeting might go away, or the quality of sobriety there might not be good enough for the new person.

There's always going to be people filing in and out of meetings, but having even if it's like two or three people who are that core who are there every single time, that can be the stability for somebody else. Yep. Mm hmm. That was important to me early on, is seeing some people that I typically saw going to a few meetings and I could just tag along and know, okay, I know those person. They go to these three meetings, I know I'll be safe there because at least I'll know some people because it's

scary. It's scary when you first start and you go to these these meetings and church basements with these shady looking people, some of these people and, you know, why do I belong here? Yeah, Yeah, me too. What do you think in terms of step work, fear and anxiety? What are steps that you can use to help you out? Yeah, I'm thinking step three alone. Sometimes there's some prayer, some meditation that's going to help. No.

I've done some. I've done some roller coaster therapy, which has helped me in this, that we have these season tickets, the Six Flags. And I've never gone on roller coasters or any exciting ride in my life. But we have these things and on one hand, I want to take advantage of the ticket that I have, and the other hand is I don't want to be barred from an experience because I have fear. So I started going on these roller coasters, Superman. The ride is the one I had been waiting for.

Superman, The ride, if you don't know, it is kind of what you think it is. It's the biggest roller coaster in New England. It goes up to about it's the highest roller coaster, goes about 77 miles an hour. It goes way up like you. You time it out. It's about a minute that you're going up. And if you see it from the ground, it looks like, why the hell would I ever go on that? That looks scary as hell. And it's it's long. It goes a long, long way. And I wasn't going to

go on at the last time. And I finally said, I got to do this, I got to do this. And so my son sat next to me, which I was grateful for, and I had an experience with him. And you go up and you can see the river and you go down and I can't even remember half of this stuff because it was so intense. And I realized going on these roller coasters, the thing I fear is the things I cannot control.

Because when you get to the top in the roller coaster goes over and you've turned that potential energy into kinetic energy, it's the thing of you've got to go from the top to the station. There's no way you can stop and you have to just go with it and you have to go wherever that train's going, be it upside down or on the side or faster up and down through the tunnel. And there's nothing you can do to stop it. And I don't like that lack of control. I finally

realized that thing. I went on the sky screamer, which I realized was a mistake, was a mistake. This is a swing that goes up 425 feet and swings out at 40 miles an hour and the wind changes, and my swing turned backwards because of the weight differential between my daughter and I close my eyes the whole way. But it was that lack of control is now that it's gone up. The only thing I can do is to continue going up so I can come back down and there's nothing I

can do about it. And it's that lack of my control to stop it. That is my issue. And I'm doing this less because I'm enjoying the roller coaster and more of I need to get my way through this to understand why I fear this and how does it how does it bother me in other parts of life? Where does it affect me in other parts of life? So I can get past that too, So I can go down this roller coaster and deal with not being able to control where it's going to go.

Maybe this will help me with other things. Yeah. My wife told me I looked I was white as a ghost when she saw me swinging by. Yeah. You want more out of control? Try Wicked Cyclone. Even though Wicked Cyclone is smaller, you go up and it's a 90 degree drop. It goes straight down immediately into a curve and then into an invert. So you want to talk about not being in control that your body doesn't know which way it's going because it goes down and then you go on to the side and then

you're going upside down. There were times where I was bracing to go one way and the car went the other. That my body was totally confused. Talk about out of control and I'll tell you, I felt accomplished. I'm like, I did this. I actually got on these big, scary things and I did it. Now, before the season ends, I'm going to do a few more. I got two tickets. I might as well do it. Well, if you like this show, you can go to buy me a coffee dot com slash sober friends pod.

If you feel that this podcast is worth something, whatever it's worth to you, you have the opportunity to keep us going there with a donation. We do have expenses and you help us defray some of those costs. Head over to Super Friends podcast, Sign up for the newsletter, send out a weekly email or whenever I'm on another podcast or whatever, just to let you know what we're going, what's going on? I try and link to some type

of sober news story. It's very short, it is very infrequent, but it keeps you in touch with us. Steve, thanks for coming on and being vulnerable with fears and anxieties. And we'll see you next week by everybody. This is where you can help another person, Someone like our friend who has gone through a terrible year, had loss, had to suffer through that Loss of being present can be an inspiration for other people, even when you don't realize it.

I think about, you know, sometimes you said sometimes the best I can do is show up to a meeting. You might be underselling yourself because sometimes if you show up to a meeting, there can be a better meeting for somebody else that if a couple people who just always show up to that meeting, stop showing up that meeting might go away, or the quality of sobriety there might not be good enough for the new person.

There's always going to be people filing in and out of meetings, but having even if it's like two or three people who are that core who are there every single time, that can be the stability for somebody else. Yep. This is where you can help another person, Someone like our friend who has gone through a terrible year, had loss, had to suffer through that Loss of being present can be an inspiration for other people, even when you don't realize it.

I think about, you know, sometimes you said sometimes the best I can do is show up to a meeting. You might be underselling yourself because sometimes if you show up to a meeting, there can be a better meeting for somebody else that if a couple people who just always show up to that meeting, stop showing up that meeting might go away, or the quality of sobriety there might not be good enough for the new person.

There's always going to be people filing in and out of meetings, but having even if it's like two or three people who are that core who are there every single time, that can be the stability for somebody else. Yep. Yep. Mm hmm. That was important to me early on, is seeing some people that I typically saw going to a few meetings and I could just tag along and know, okay, I know

those person. They go to these three meetings, I know I'll be safe there because at least I'll know some people because it's scary. It's scary when you first start and you go to these these meetings and church basements with these shady looking people, some of these people and, you know, why do I belong here? Yeah, Yeah, me too. What do you think in terms of step work, fear and anxiety? What are steps that you can use to help you out? Yeah, I'm thinking step three alone.

Sometimes there's some prayer, some meditation that's going to help. No. I've done some. I've done some roller coaster therapy, which has helped me in this, that we have these season tickets, the Six Flags. And I've never gone on roller coasters or any exciting ride in my life. But we have these things and on one hand, I want to take advantage of the ticket that I have, and the other hand is I don't want to be barred from an experience because I have fear. So I started going on these roller

coasters, Superman. The ride is the one I had been waiting for. Superman, The ride, if you don't know, it is kind of what you think it is. It's the biggest roller coaster in New England. It goes up to about it's the highest roller coaster, goes about 77 miles an hour. It goes way up like you. You time it out. It's about a minute that you're going up. And if you see it from the ground, it looks like, why the hell would I ever go on that? That looks scary as hell. And

it's it's long. It goes a long, long way. And I wasn't going to go on at the last time. And I finally said, I got to do this, I got to do this. And so my son sat next to me, which I was grateful for, and I had an experience with him. And you go up and you can see the river and you go down and I can't even remember half of this stuff because it was so intense. And I realized going on these roller coasters, the thing I fear is the things I cannot control.

Because when you get to the top in the roller coaster goes over and you've turned that potential energy into kinetic energy, it's the thing of you've got to go from the top to the station. There's no way you can stop and you have to just go with it and you have to go wherever that train's going, be it upside down or on the side or faster up and down through the tunnel. And there's nothing you can do to stop it. And I don't like that lack of control. I finally

realized that thing. I went on the sky screamer, which I realized was a mistake, was a mistake. This is a swing that goes up 425 feet and swings out at 40 miles an hour and the wind changes, and my swing turned backwards because of the weight differential between my daughter and I close my eyes the whole way. But it was that lack of control is now that it's gone up. The only thing I can do is to continue going up so I can come back down and there's nothing I

can do about it. And it's that lack of my control to stop it. That is my issue. And I'm doing this less because I'm enjoying the roller coaster and more of I need to get my way through this to understand why I fear this and how does it how does it bother me in other parts of life? Where does it affect me in other parts of life? So I can get past that too, So I can go down this roller coaster and deal with not being able to control where it's going to go.

Maybe this will help me with other things. Yeah. My wife told me I looked I was white as a ghost when she saw me swinging by. Yeah. You want more out of control? Try Wicked Cyclone. Even though Wicked Cyclone is smaller, you go up and it's a 90 degree drop. It goes straight down immediately into a curve and then into an invert. So you want to talk about not being in control that your body doesn't know which way it's going because it goes down and then you go on to the side and then

you're going upside down. There were times where I was bracing to go one way and the car went the other. That my body was totally confused. Talk about out of control and I'll tell you, I felt accomplished. I'm like, I did this. I actually got on these big, scary things and I did it. Now, before the season ends, I'm going to do a few more. I got two tickets. I might as well do it. Well, if you like this show, you can go to buy me a coffee dot com slash sober friends pod.

If you feel that this podcast is worth something, whatever it's worth to you, you have the opportunity to keep us going there with a donation. We do have expenses and you help us defray some of those costs. Head over to Super Friends podcast, Sign up for the newsletter, send out a weekly email or whenever I'm on another podcast or whatever, just to let you know what we're going, what's going on? I try and link to some type

of sober news story. It's very short, it is very infrequent, but it keeps you in touch with us. Steve, thanks for coming on and being vulnerable with fears and anxieties. And we'll see you next week by everybody. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. That was important to me early on, is seeing some people that I typically saw going to a few meetings and I could just tag along and know, okay, I know

those person. They go to these three meetings, I know I'll be safe there because at least I'll know some people because it's scary. It's scary when you first start and you go to these these meetings and church basements with these shady looking people, some of these people and, you know, why do I belong here? Yeah, Yeah, me too. That was important to me early on, is seeing some people that I typically saw going to a few meetings and I could just tag along and know,

okay, I know those person. They go to these three meetings, I know I'll be safe there because at least I'll know some people because it's scary. It's scary when you first start and you go to these these meetings and church basements with these shady looking people, some of these people and, you know, why do I belong here? Yeah, Yeah, me too. What do you think in terms of step work, fear and anxiety? What are steps that you can use to help you out? Yeah, I'm thinking step three alone.

Sometimes there's some prayer, some meditation that's going to help. No. No. No. No. I've done some. I've done some roller coaster therapy, which has helped me in this, that we have these season tickets, the Six Flags. And I've never gone on roller coasters or any exciting ride in my life. But we have these things and on one hand, I want to take advantage of the ticket that I have, and the other hand is I don't want to be barred from an experience

because I have fear. So I started going on these roller coasters, Superman. The ride is the one I had been waiting for. Superman, The ride, if you don't know, it is kind of what you think it is. It's the biggest roller coaster in New England. It goes up to about it's the highest roller coaster, goes about 77 miles an hour. It goes way up like you. You time it out. It's about a minute that you're going up. And if you see it from the ground, it looks like, why the hell would I ever go on that?

That looks scary as hell. And it's it's long. It goes a long, long way. And I wasn't going to go on at the last time. And I finally said, I got to do this, I got to do this. And so my son sat next to me, which I was grateful for, and I had an experience with him. And you go up and you can see the river and you go down and I can't even remember half of this stuff because it was so intense. And I realized going on these roller coasters, the thing I fear is the things I cannot control.

Because when you get to the top in the roller coaster goes over and you've turned that potential energy into kinetic energy, it's the thing of you've got to go from the top to the station. There's no way you can stop and you have to just go with it and you have to go wherever that train's going, be it upside down or on the side or faster up and down through the tunnel. And there's nothing you can do to stop it. And I don't like that lack of control. I finally

realized that thing. I went on the sky screamer, which I realized was a mistake, was a mistake. This is a swing that goes up 425 feet and swings out at 40 miles an hour and the wind changes, and my swing turned backwards because of the weight differential between my daughter and I close my eyes the whole way. But it was that lack of control is now that it's gone up. The only thing I can do is to continue going up so I can come back down and there's nothing I

can do about it. And it's that lack of my control to stop it. That is my issue. And I'm doing this less because I'm enjoying the roller coaster and more of I need to get my way through this to understand why I fear this and how does it how does it bother me in other parts of life? Where does it affect me in other parts of life? So I can get past that too, So I can go down this roller coaster and deal with not being able to control where it's going to go.

Maybe this will help me with other things. Yeah. My wife told me I looked I was white as a ghost when she saw me swinging by. Yeah. You want more out of control? Try Wicked Cyclone. Even though Wicked Cyclone is smaller, you go up and it's a 90 degree drop. It goes straight down immediately into a curve and then into an invert. So you want to talk about not being in control that your body doesn't know which way it's going because it goes down and then you go on to the side and then

you're going upside down. There were times where I was bracing to go one way and the car went the other. That my body was totally confused. Talk about out of control and I'll tell you, I felt accomplished. I'm like, I did this. I actually got on these big, scary things and I did it. Now, before the season ends, I'm going to do a few more. I got two tickets. I might as well do it. Well, if you like this show, you can go to buy me a coffee dot com slash sober friends pod.

If you feel that this podcast is worth something, whatever it's worth to you, you have the opportunity to keep us going there with a donation. We do have expenses and you help us defray some of those costs. Head over to Super Friends podcast, Sign up for the newsletter, send out a weekly email or whenever I'm on another podcast or whatever, just to let you know what we're going, what's going on? I try and link to some type

of sober news story. It's very short, it is very infrequent, but it keeps you in touch with us. Steve, thanks for coming on and being vulnerable with fears and anxieties. And we'll see you next week by everybody. I've done some. I've done some roller coaster therapy, which has helped me in this, that we have these season tickets, the Six Flags. And I've never gone on roller coasters or any exciting ride in my life.

But we have these things and on one hand, I want to take advantage of the ticket that I have, and the other hand is I don't want to be barred from an experience because I have fear. So I started going on these roller coasters, Superman. The ride is the one I had been waiting for. Superman, The ride, if you don't know, it is kind of what you think it is. It's the biggest roller coaster in New England. It goes up to about it's the highest roller coaster, goes about 77 miles an hour. It

goes way up like you. You time it out. It's about a minute that you're going up. And if you see it from the ground, it looks like, why the hell would I ever go on that? That looks scary as hell. And it's it's long. It goes a long, long way. And I wasn't going to go on at the last time. And I finally said, I got to do this, I got to do this. And so my son sat next to me, which I was grateful for, and I

had an experience with him. And you go up and you can see the river and you go down and I can't even remember half of this stuff because it was so intense. And I realized going on these roller coasters, the thing I fear is the things I cannot control. Because when you get to the top in the roller coaster goes over and you've turned that potential energy into kinetic energy, it's the thing of you've got to go from the top to the

station. There's no way you can stop and you have to just go with it and you have to go wherever that train's going, be it upside down or on the side or faster up and down through the tunnel. And there's nothing you can do to stop it. And I don't like that lack of control. I finally realized that thing. I went on the sky screamer, which I realized was a mistake, was a

mistake. This is a swing that goes up 425 feet and swings out at 40 miles an hour and the wind changes, and my swing turned backwards because of the weight differential between my daughter and I close my eyes the whole way. But it was that lack of control is now that it's gone up. The only thing I can do is to continue going up so I can come back down and there's nothing I can do about it. And it's that lack of my control to stop it.

That is my issue. And I'm doing this less because I'm enjoying the roller coaster and more of I need to get my way through this to understand why I fear this and how does it how does it bother me in other parts of life? Where does it affect me in other parts of life? So I can get past that too, So I can go down this roller coaster and deal with not being able to control where it's going to go. Maybe this will help me with other things.

Yeah. My wife told me I looked I was white as a ghost when she saw me swinging by. I've done some roller coaster therapy, which has helped me in this, that we have these season tickets, the Six Flags. And I've never gone on roller coasters or any exciting ride in my life. But we have these things and on one hand, I want to take advantage of the ticket that I have, and the other hand is I don't want to be barred from an experience because I have fear. So I started going on these

roller coasters, Superman. The ride is the one I had been waiting for. Superman, The ride, if you don't know, it is kind of what you think it is. It's the biggest roller coaster in New England. It goes up to about it's the highest roller coaster, goes about 77 miles an hour. It goes way up like you. You time it out. It's about a minute that you're going up. And if you see it from the ground, it looks like, why the hell would I ever go on that? That looks scary as hell. And it's it's long. It

goes a long, long way. And I wasn't going to go on at the last time. And I finally said, I got to do this, I got to do this. And so my son sat next to me, which I was grateful for, and I had an experience with him. And you go up and you can see the river and you go down and I can't even remember half of this stuff because it was so intense. And I realized going on these roller coasters, the thing I fear is the things I cannot

control. Because when you get to the top in the roller coaster goes over and you've turned that potential energy into kinetic energy, it's the thing of you've got to go from the top to the station. There's no way you can stop and you have to just go with it and you have to go wherever that train's going, be it upside down or on the side or faster up and down through the tunnel. And there's nothing you can do to stop it. And I don't like that lack of control. I

finally realized that thing. I went on the sky screamer, which I realized was a mistake, was a mistake. This is a swing that goes up 425 feet and swings out at 40 miles an hour and the wind changes, and my swing turned backwards because of the weight differential between my daughter and I close my eyes the whole way. But it was that lack of control is now that it's gone up. The only thing I can do is to continue going up so I can come back down and there's nothing I

can do about it. And it's that lack of my control to stop it. That is my issue. And I'm doing this less because I'm enjoying the roller coaster and more of I need to get my way through this to understand why I fear this and how does it how does it bother me in other parts of life? Where does it affect me in other parts of life? So I can get past that too, So I can go down this roller coaster and deal with not being able to control where it's

going to go. Maybe this will help me with other things. Yeah. My wife told me I looked I was white as a ghost when she saw me swinging by. Yeah. You want more out of control? Try Wicked Cyclone. Even though Wicked Cyclone is smaller, you go up and it's a 90 degree drop. It goes straight down immediately into a curve and then into an invert. So you want to talk about not being in control that your body doesn't know which way it's going because it goes down and then you go on to the side and then

you're going upside down. There were times where I was bracing to go one way and the car went the other. That my body was totally confused. Talk about out of control and I'll tell you, I felt accomplished. I'm like, I did this. I actually got on these big, scary things and I did it. Now, before the season ends, I'm going to do a few more. I got two tickets. I might as well do it. Well, if you like this show, you can go to buy me a coffee dot com slash sober friends pod.

If you feel that this podcast is worth something, whatever it's worth to you, you have the opportunity to keep us going there with a donation. We do have expenses and you help us defray some of those costs. Head over to Super Friends podcast, Sign up for the newsletter, send out a weekly email or whenever I'm on another podcast or whatever, just to let you know what we're going, what's going on? I try and link to some type

of sober news story. It's very short, it is very infrequent, but it keeps you in touch with us. Steve, thanks for coming on and being vulnerable with fears and anxieties. And we'll see you next week by everybody. Yeah. You want more out of control? Try Wicked Cyclone. Even though Wicked Cyclone is smaller, you go up and it's a 90 degree drop. It goes straight down immediately into a curve and

then into an invert. So you want to talk about not being in control that your body doesn't know which way it's going because it goes down and then you go on to the side and then you're going upside down. There were times where I was bracing to go one way and the car went the other. That my body was totally confused. Talk about out of control and I'll tell you, I felt accomplished. I'm like, I did this. I actually got on these big, scary things and I did it. Now, before the season ends, I'm

going to do a few more. I got two tickets. I might as well do it. Well, if you like this show, you can go to buy me a coffee dot com slash sober friends pod. If you feel that this podcast is worth something, whatever it's worth to you, you have the opportunity to keep us going there with a donation. We do have expenses and you help us

defray some of those costs. Head over to Super Friends podcast, Sign up for the newsletter, send out a weekly email or whenever I'm on another podcast or whatever, just to let you know what we're going, what's going on? I try and link to some type of sober news story. It's very short, it is very infrequent, but it keeps you in touch with us. Steve, thanks for coming on and being vulnerable with fears and anxieties. And we'll see you next week by everybody.

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