If you don't have worries and anxiety, you are not a good alcoholic and you're not a good recovered alcoholic in good standing. Thought I'd be rid of this when I went through the 12 steps. And Steve, I am not. They still pop up. How about you? You're a you have a lot more sobriety than me. You've been in a program on and off for many decades. More than me. You must be cured.
Far from cured. I do have a lot less stress and anxiety. I think that might be where we are in our lives more than
Yep.
maybe anything else. Because when I was at your point in your life, you know, when I was at your age and your point with three children, I had two. I was about the same age. And although I didn't work a program as well as you did at the time, I had a lot of anxiety, stress, all that kind of stuff was coming out. So and, you know, I'm older and and, you know, got things got important stuff done so far in my life. So I can I can relax a little bit more and I don't feel
stressed out about things. Right. the financial and, you know, I'm not wealthy, but the financial ends. Okay? And so the day to day stuff. And plus the truth is that as I have so much gratitude for my life today, I really do that it's easy for me to really put things in perspective and realize that most of the shit that I used to worry about and stuff that I still worry about at times really don't, you know, add up to a hill of beans, as they like to say. So.
This is always the case. And I never remember that. And I will tell people I work with five months from now, six months from now. Will you remember what you're worried about?
Right.
And the answer is probably
Yeah.
no. I will tell you this, that I'm breaking this year, that this this goes into. You probably shouldn't worry and things will work out. My wife pulled me aside today, so there are some money issues that we have. Mostly because we had to buy outright a minivan back in January and the monthly payment is much higher than what we had before and even since January. Still trying to figure out we
Mm
have this bigger chunk of money going out. What do we need to do here? We had to roll back
hmm.
our 41k contributions.
Right.
We're still contributing, but we were contributing a lot and we had to roll that back. Well, my wife pulled me aside today and said in the area that they're in, there are some financial difficulties. She said, We're in financial ruin. That is her her quote. And they might be doing some downsizing. But what she also said is, but my boss wants to bring me in and make
Mm hmm.
me the chief of staff. That would be her title and it would be
hmm.
a lot more money.
Yeah. Right. It.
Now,
It
I'm sure
does
I work
help.
five times harder than her, but it does help.
Right. sounds impressive.
She's embarrassed. She
listen,
goes, I don't want to be called the chief
you know,
of
you
staff,
guys
but
figure
that's
that
that's
out,
what
and
her title
it's
would be.
something
The chief
that
of
we've
staff. This is always the case. And I never remember that. And I will tell people I work with five months from now, six months from now. Will you remember what you're worried about? And the answer is probably no. I will tell you this, that I'm breaking this year, that this this goes into. You probably shouldn't worry and things will work out. My wife pulled me aside today, so there are some money issues that we
have. Mostly because we had to buy outright a minivan back in January and the monthly payment is much higher than what we had before and even since January. Still trying to figure out we have this bigger chunk of money going out. What do we need to do here? We had to roll back our 41k contributions. We're still contributing, but we were contributing a lot and we had to roll that back. Well, my wife pulled me aside today and said in the area that they're in, there are some financial
difficulties. She said, We're in financial ruin. That is her her quote. And they might be doing some downsizing. But what she also said is, but my boss wants to bring me in and make me the chief of staff. That would be her title and it would be a lot more money. Now, I'm sure I work five times harder than her, but it does help. She's embarrassed. She goes, I don't want to be called the chief of staff, but that's that's what her title would be. The chief of staff. This is
always the case. And I never remember that. And I will tell people I work with five months from now, six months from now. Will you remember what you're worried about? And the answer is probably no. I will tell you this, that I'm breaking this year, that this this goes into. You probably shouldn't worry and things will work out. My wife pulled me aside today, so there are some money issues that we
have. Mostly because we had to buy outright a minivan back in January and the monthly payment is much higher than what we had before even since January. Still trying to figure out we have this bigger chunk of money going out. What do we need to do here? We had to roll back our 41k contributions. We're still contributing, but we were contributing a lot and we had to roll that back. Well, my wife pulled me aside today and said in the area that they're in, there are some financial
difficulties. She said, We're in financial ruin. That is her her quote. And they might be doing some downsizing. But what she also said is, but my boss wants to bring me in and make me the chief of staff. That would be her title and it would be a lot more money. Now, I'm sure I work five times harder than her, but it does help. She's embarrassed. She goes, I don't want to be called the chief of staff, but that's that's what her title would be. The chief of staff. Yeah. Yeah.
all that I've done the same thing I've been in my life where I was able to contribute a lot to my for one case and then things changed. I was a commission salesperson. What was happening to me is like, is my is my pay plan would change all the time. And I would go from making really good commissions to not being able to make commissions. Like literally overnight. It seemed like whenever that new plan come out was like, it might take me two or three months and those were
big hits. Half of my pay was comp, it was salary, and half of my pay was based upon, commissions.
And.
So, you know, if I lose three months, that's I'm losing like, you know, I'm losing a good chunk of money if I'm, if I'm not getting any commission for those three months. So there were times when I did that. There were times when I had to cut back. I can remember changing, you know, I'm a big environmental type person as much as possible. I can remember years ago I went to completely
renewables. And this is like when they were first out, it was a lot more expensive to go to completely renewables on my electric bill. and then things changed at work and I had a, I had to get out of that because too expensive for me, right? So we all go through those. My point is we all go through those things,
hmm.
you and in your wife, you'll figure it out. It's not easy. It's not easy to do that stuff. It's always, you know, stressful. Right. And that's what we talk about. Stressful. I've been in that position. I really have. And this is an I'm thankful that I'm not today, but I certainly understand and could have a lot of empathy for where you're at right now.
We have a good problem that we ran into last night, but not a financial one that I want to pay for. My son goes to this volleyball camp three days a week. He. It's two games, and another one is beach volleyball outsides to work on his game. He just started volleyball, and he's really gotten into it. And I guess one of the coach runs this volleyball camp. It's probably one of the top volleyball camps in Connecticut.
Lot of UConn Husky people go through there and somebody came aside and said to my wife, you know, he's pretty good. He's got a lot of talent. He should have one on one coaching
Wow.
and it would be $75 an hour.
Wow. Yeah.
And she told me that about Ready to Scream or you could split it and it would be like $35 for a half hour. It's like, okay, so there's still that. I'm a little suspicious of this guy, so I think it is worth talking to. My son's coach. But that's a strange place to be of. Hey, we think your son is this good. He would benefit from
But.
one
And
on
I'm
one
sure
coaching.
he would. And a lot
Like
of that
the expensive
is
stuff? We have a good problem that we ran into last night, but not a financial one that I want to pay for. My son goes to this volleyball camp three days a week. He. It's two games, and another one is beach volleyball outsides to work on his game. He just started volleyball, and he's really gotten into it. And I guess one of the coach runs this volleyball camp. It's probably one of the top volleyball camps
in Connecticut. Lot of UConn Husky people go through there and somebody came aside and said to my wife, you know, he's pretty good. He's got a lot of talent. He should have one on one coaching and it would be $75 an hour. And she told me that about Ready to Scream or you could split it and it would be like $35 for a half hour. It's like, okay, so there's still that. I'm a little suspicious of this guy, so I think it is worth talking to. My son's coach. But that's a strange place to be of.
Hey, we think your son is this good. He would benefit from one on one coaching. Like the expensive stuff? We have a good problem that we ran into last night, but not a financial one that I want to pay for. My son goes to this volleyball camp three days a week. He. It's two games, and another one is beach volleyball outsides to work on his game. He just started volleyball, and he's really gotten into it. And I guess one of the coach runs this
volleyball camp. It's probably one of the top volleyball camps in Connecticut. Lot of UConn Husky people go through there and somebody came aside and said to my wife, you know, he's pretty good. He's got a lot of talent. He should have one on one coaching and it would be $75 an hour. And she told me that about Ready to Scream or you could split it and it would be like $35 for a half hour. It's like, okay, so there's still that. I'm a little suspicious of this guy, so I think it is worth
talking to. My son's coach. But that's a strange place to be of. Hey, we think your son is this good. He would benefit from one on one coaching. Like the expensive stuff? We have a good problem that we ran into last night, but not a financial one that I want to pay for. My son goes to this volleyball camp three days a week. He. It's two games, and another one is beach volleyball outsides to work on his game. He just started volleyball, and he's really
gotten into it. And I guess one of the coach runs this volleyball camp. It's probably one of the top volleyball camps in Connecticut. Lot of UConn Husky people go through there and somebody came aside and said to my wife, you know, he's pretty good. He's got a lot of talent. He should have one on one coaching and it would be $75 an hour. And she told me that about Ready to Scream or you could split it and it would be like $35 for a half hour. It's like, okay, so there's still
that. I'm a little suspicious of this guy, so I think it is worth talking to. My son's coach. But that's a strange place to be of. Hey, we think your son is this good. He would benefit from one on one coaching. Like the expensive stuff?
right is can you afford it? And, you know, is it something that you want to pursue? My my daughter played premier soccer so above travel league. Right Pretty you know, not a really high end premier but still really, really good soccer. And I always like to tell people like my daughter also played in school and her, you know, her school coach is probably the geography teacher and and her premier soccer league. Her coach was an all American soccer player from the
University of Connecticut. Right. Like, that was a difference in quality. You had an all-American guy, you know, teaching and and that was a big commitment. And my daughter was really good and she and I thought about that. I did not send her for what I want, coach. And I think she would have benefited from that. And I'm sure he would. And a lot of that is right is can you afford it? And, you know, is it something that you want to pursue? My my daughter played premier soccer so above travel
league. Right Pretty you know, not a really high end premier but still really, really good soccer. And I always like to tell people like my daughter also played in school and her, you know, her school coach is probably the geography teacher and and her premier soccer league. Her coach was an all American soccer player from the University of Connecticut. Right. Like, that was a difference in quality. You had an all-American guy, you know, teaching and and
that was a big commitment. And my daughter was really good and she and I thought about that. I did not send her for what I want, coach. And I think she would have benefited from that. but I never did. and we never did. always good, but I would, I would absolutely. In that case, talk to your son's coach and say, Hey, what do you think of this? What do you think is going on? you think that's a good idea and maybe even talk to some other parents who maybe have gone
through that, right? See what they think?
Yeah.
yeah,
We
right.
are just pouring hundreds of dollars into him with this volleyball.
Yeah,
Hundreds of dollars. And he asks
Yeah, for lots
for more
of reasons.
and more.
And
Oh, I
we
want to
have
do
a granddaughter
this Camp one.
in New Jersey
Do this camp.
who's a big
And we've
dancer,
had to say,
and she's good, she's
Dude,
been
we can't
good enough,
do
and
camp
that's
every
all they
single
do,
night.
right? That's all she does is is do the dance. And they're always gone. They're always doing these shows and they're always doing competitions. And that's. And that's the other thing, right? My, my sisters grew up doing that and that's the same thing. They, they suck you into that and you feel like, oh, I have to let to do this. I have to let her compete, she has to get better, all this kind of stuff. What's the end goal for that? I don't know. And again, I don't know what that is. And I'm glad
she's doing it. She's good. She loves it. But what's what's the end goal? Does she go dance on Broadway? Right. Who knows? You know, I mean, you know, those are tough lives. Nobody. I don't think I want that life, right? I don't think I want that life for her. but it does give her confidence. She's young. She's nine. She gets up on stage. She just started doing her first solo, so it gives her a lot
Very
of confidence
difficult
and things
life.
like that. So I get it. But it's overwhelming. They they she dances year round and it's tough. So those are the things you do at your age with two kids. Your age. I look at it as, you know, my son was in the scouts and my son would go on these trips as he got older, like your son's age, he would start doing some of these trips. The high adventure, which is going out to Arizona, New Mexico, I think it was. And hiking for two weeks, Like, same thing, thousands of
dollars. I think it was a couple thousand dollars to send him out there you know, try to try to do some fundraising. It was tough. And that was when, you know, like I said, that's when I was your age and and I was trying to save money and college was coming up and all that kind of stuff. And yeah, well. So, right. So, you know, but we, we made it work out. I think you'll make it work out, too. I really do. I think you make it work out.
Oh, my God. There's more fear and anxiety. College is coming up three years away now. Mm hmm. And I think about this because I have fear and anxiety about my job right now. And I'm in. This is this is part of my issue. This is part of my development. I don't know if I trust my own emotions because it feels very uncertain at work. The environment has changed. We've had a very big reorg. Some of the leaders that I used to have are now
Mhm.
gone. There are a whole bunch of new people in with very new ideas, very different ways of doing business from very far away in the country. One of the things that I have as a strength is I'm very resilient. I talked to I did a skip level today with my boss boss, and she talked about how we're really asking people to change what worked for you in the past. How you worked before is not what you have to hold on to today. What you have to do is be willing to change
Mhm.
how we're doing business, because in a national environment, we can't do the same things you're doing regionally. And I kind of looked at her cross-eyed and said,
We always
I'm
had
good
that,
with
you
that.
know we talk about a lot. It's
I
actually
don't
a
get
common
too wedded to any one
you
idea
know, it's a common
and know
theme
that, okay,
a lot
I see
of times
where we're going.
in some topic
We have
discussion
to do some changing.
meetings I'll,
And
you
she
know,
had very
first
mild
of all
feedback
you know if you're,
from
if
me,
you're listening to this one you know what
very
this has to
mild
do with alcoholism.
feedback of you could do this
I'll
or that.
tell you this is that when I, when
I
I felt
look at that,
stressed
I'm like, I feel
before
like I'm pretty
I had
safe
a program,
here.
when I was actively drinking and when I had and trust me, I had lots of financial problems when I was actively drinking. My drinking did not help them, let me tell you. It did not help the fact that I was trying to make sure I had enough money for my booze. But when we had that anxiety and that fear, I know for me I drank to sort of overcome those feelings, to try to make those try to try to forget about those feelings. That's what one of the
things I've done. So sort of that's the that's the tie into to this to our alcoholism. but we talk about this impostor. You hear this a lot with alcoholics, this whole imposter syndrome, you know, like how I don't feel like I fit in. I don't feel like I feel like I've been a fraud. And some of that is because a lot of us drank, sort of unknowingly in a club in the closet, if you will, drank. So other people didn't see us drink as much. So we have this feeling. Certainly that was my experience.
That's how I drank. We have this idea that we're going to be drawn out. We're going to be, you know,
Oh,
they're
yeah.
going to shine a light on us and we're going to find like, holy shit, Matt doesn't know what he's doing. How did he survive this? Let's get rid of him now. But that's not the case, right? That's not the case. You work for a big company. you're. You're really competent and what you do, chances are the job's not gonna. There may be reorg, but the job's probably not going anywhere. Yeah. Right, Right. Yeah, I was. Let's in. I was one of the top salespeople, top paid
salespeople. There was two guys who have paid on my level and our sales group. I was one of them. I always felt the same thing. And the truth is, my job
My
was not
worries always.
anything
I make too much money
that was very
because
difficult
I have gotten
or anything,
very
and
good reviews
they could have easily gotten
and I have
a
performed
new salesperson,
very, very well.
brought
I've taken
him in,
advantage
paid literally
of
paid him,
compounding
paid
raises
them female, female,
and now
half
I look at that
the money
and say,
they were,
Am
they
I
were
making
paying me
too
literally
much
half
money
the money
to
and
be
they would not have been as good and didn't have
of
the connections,
value
but
to
they
the
would
company?
have been okay
That's
for
what
half
I have
the money.
fear
And,
about.
but I always felt that way too. They always like I, you know, I made some good money, especially towards the end of my career. I was really in a good place. I always felt that they were like, Oh, they can get rid of me any day. You know? I made peace with that one day. I do. I really do. I, I, I've talked about I shared in meetings. First of all, I woke up one day and I really did. I was sitting in my office. I work and I was I was going through some of those feelings of those imposter
syndrome feelings. And then I realized that I realized that I had gone through about four records from one company to a little bit bigger company to a bigger company, then to a really gigantic company. And people got laid off salespeople. So we always had salespeople when they brought them on. And I made every one of those cuts. And I finally realized, like, you know, maybe I do know what I'm doing. Maybe I will survive this. And I
did. And when they they literally shut down our company and they kept three of us around to sell off all their stuff. And I was one of the three that they kept around. I worked all the way up to the last day of the company. I made up pretty good and that means and they still paid our commissions. So that was like everything we sold was now not divided by six was, but was divided by three. So I walked out of there with a really, really nice sort of severance pay paycheck. that
helped me out a lot. and you're going to find that same way. You know, I've told the story before about I said I signed up for an insurance company insurance policy years ago. Years long time ago. Right. And I the first thing I asked, like, I like what's happened if I'm going to lose my job, you know, like, how am I going to pay for this insurance policy? And he just looked at me. He goes, You'd get another job right now. Yeah, of course I got another job. And I realized I care. Of course I got
another job. And his point was, yeah, you're going to you'll be fine. Because it was a fairly good chunk of money wasn't huge, but like, it was like, you know, take something out of at that time, a couple of hundred dollars more a month or whatever it was we were getting. You know, it was that was a lot of money for us. you know, we got to be careful with that. And we can't we can't, we can't ignore those feelings because if we start to ignore those feelings or we start not to give them the time
I
and
know the
effort
story is a good one,
to deal with them, then we could get into trouble. We can get into trouble. And and I know that you don't ignore them. Like when you start feeling that, right, you pick up the phone. You're right. and that's what you need to do. And that's what we all need to do. At least in my program. What I need to do is pick up and call another alcoholic when I'm really stressed out. And. And it's nice. My phone's been ringing a lot and I call other alcoholics, but
my. Well, my it has been there's a couple of people out there who have gone through some changes. And I happen
but
to be one of the people that they call and it's nice. I love those phone calls. Sit down, take some time, talk to them. and that's and that's a nice thing to do. So,
nope. I picked up the phone yesterday. Oh, good for you. You're doing something right in your program.
yeah,
If you're brand new and you're thinking, if I go to a 12 step meeting or however you get
My
sober
only dirty
or whatever,
secret,
whatever
it's the crux
type of program
of the whole
you might
thing
be
for
in,
me is like I didn't have
they're
those
not
skills
really
too.
around. I
I
used to
didn't
drink,
have those
and
skills.
this is
And
how
I know some people do
I'm
and
either going to learn
everybody's
how to drink
different,
better
but I,
or this
I
is how
did not have
I'm
those
going
skills
to
to
sit
deal
a certain
with
way
the anxieties,
so I don't drink anymore.
the fears,
It's not about the mechanics
all
of drinking.
the disappointments
It's
in
about
life.
your feelings
Like I
and
did
it's about
not
things
have
like this.
the skills to
And
be able
fears
to deal with those
and anxiety
except
can
for
be a trigger for many
picking
people.
up a drink and
It's
getting,
definitely a trigger
you know,
for
getting.
me.
BLITZER
What
Or
I
smoking
have learned
a joint or
going
whatever
through
and
a 12
whatever
step program
it might have been. because
is how to handle
I've come
them,
to this program
that
and because
I'm not alone.
I,
Other
I
people
listen
have
and
them,
because I,
and
you
these
know,
are the
for
things
me,
you
I
need
hang
to do
around with
to
a bunch
get
of
through
really
them.
strong men in this program.
Programs
I've been able
that
to
help
figure
you
that
through
out. And,
addiction
and
are
I
really
and you know
programs
what is when
that help
I'm
you
going
navigate
through this
life.
and I know the same thing happens
If
to you
you have
because
those life
I
skills,
see you at
you
a meeting.
don't need
we
substances
talk about it
to
at
get
our meetings,
through them.
right?
That's
And
the dirty secret.
I went to a meeting last night, right. And there was maybe maybe ten of us there, all guys. So, you know, an outdoor meeting and a fire pit and a dog's playing in the yard and all that kind of stuff. And it's just a beautiful way to have a meeting because those small meetings are exactly where you can put out a lot of stuff and talk about it and you get a lot of feedback on there.
Mm
You get
hmm.
a lot of times to me they're invaluable. They're invaluable to go out and do some of that kind of stuff, you know. it's
Absolutely.
yeah, And know what the other thing is, and it's just sort of a side thing. But what I find is that when you're going through your stuff, we talk about it all the time. It's like you reach out and you help somebody else, right? That does it. That's the other thing that we always talk about when you when you're feeling the feeling these feelings and you're going through this anxiety,
When I
one
was thinking
of the ways
of this
to
topic,
handle that is really
I was thinking about
go
the fear
do something
and anxiety
for somebody else
and
ready
then
to
thinking
go. And
about
it doesn't
vulnerability
have to be in the program.
and
But
realizing
if it is
these
what
are
I
a
would
lot
just
of the
go
same
do
topics.
something that takes you
I
out
wasn't
of your own,
vulnerable
your own space
before.
for a while.
I
and
wasn't
I had the
asking
opportunity today
for help.
to do that. I went to see a friend
The
of ours
cure
who, you know, recently
is to be
lost
as vulnerable
her husband
as
and
possible
spent about,
and to extend
you know,
trust
maybe 3
to other
hours
people,
up there,
especially
had some lunch
other
and
people who are going
then talked
through
to her
the same
and talked
predicament
to her about,
you
you know,
are.
what can we
They
do to help.
may have
And
answers
she had
because
a couple
they
of little
went through
things
it.
that she was struggling
They may
with.
be suffering
I'm like, all right,
the same
let's
thing.
go see
And
if
then
I can help
you
you fix
both
them.
feel you're
And
not
before
alone.
I left, I had helped her fix a couple of things that were just
You get
hanging
that validation.
out there. You know,
It'll help you through. You don't need
And
a drink
that
for that. You
allows
can have a conversation
me to spend
and feel
a few
better.
hours out of my own head doing something nice for somebody else. and I had the opportunity today to do that. I went to see a friend of ours who, you know, recently lost her husband and spent about, you know, maybe 3 hours up there, had some lunch and then talked to her and talked to her about, you know, what can we do to help. And she had a couple of little things that she was struggling with. I'm like, all right, let's go see if I can help you fix
them. And before I left, I had helped her fix a couple of things that were just hanging out there. You know, that allows me to spend a few hours out of my own head doing something nice for somebody else. with no expectations of anything back. Just knowing that I made her life a little bit easier for this day. And, you know, also, it was a beautiful day here in Connecticut. And we had a nice lunch out outside and, you know,
it was really a nice time. And what I find is that when I start struggling, one of the best things I could do is do something for somebody else.
Mm hmm.
Mm Yeah. Yeah. Mm. Yeah, Absolutely. And sometimes that's all we can do, you know, I've said it, and I haven't had to say it in a while, right? Sometimes. I used to shop at meetings, and that was all I could do was just show up. I couldn't participate. I didn't have a lot of thought. My head wouldn't allow me to sort of really listen to the topic and hone in on it. I just physically had to show up and be there and that that was effort
When
at
you talked
some at
about
some
strong
time points
people,
of my sobriety.
she came
Just
to mind.
it was a lot of work just to
I
show
don't know
up
if she
and
would
I did
give
that,
herself credit
so I didn't drink.
as
That's
being
why I did
a strong
it.
person.
Because usually those days
I
where I
consider
was really struggling
her incredibly
like that
strong.
would be
If
days
you think about
that I would
losing
typically
a husband
want to drink I had
who
a rule.
had
I
a terminal
did an
illness
early sobriety.
for a decent
if
amount
I felt
of time,
like shit
living
like that,
through
I
that
went to a meeting, like
strength
I just went
sometimes
to a meeting
is just.
because at that
I
time
get
I was
up
working
out of
in
my
an office.
bed every day
I was working every day in
and
an office.
I
This
live
was
the
long
day
before we all worked
that
from
low,
home
that low
and,
bar of
you know,
I'm
so I'd
just
get home.
I'm going
And if
to meetings,
my life, if things
I'm
were rough
continuing
at home
to
or whatever
be
it might be,
alive
I was out the door
and try and
for
muddle
a meeting
through
because
sometimes.
that
That's
would just
incredible
eat up.
strength
I would
just
eat
to
up
be
a couple
able to
of
do
hours.
that.
By the time I drove there, I got there and I got home. I would eat up a couple of hours of my night and then I could come home and I could go to bed. And it was simple as that. But yeah, I agree with you. This person is very strong. I think she understands that she, she handles a lot.
Mm
She
hmm.
was, she actually was in a very good place. I was very happy to see her the first time. I spent a lot of time with her since that happened. I was really happy to see how at least, you know, I'm, you know, for this day, right? For this day. This time, she was really good. And she's been able to handle a lot of stuff at the house by herself. And I was I was pleased with that. Mm mm. Mm mm.
Without question. I agree that sometimes just having a, you know, having somebody there, but like, you know, we always say we, you know, we want to go to a meeting, want to give something back, you're that way too, you want to, you want to give something back to a meeting. I feel that way. I try to share. I don't always share. I try to share most meetings if I feel like I have something to say. because I feel like, yeah,
This
like
is
I said,
where you
I
can help another
got
person,
something. I got a great
Someone
gift
like
from
our
this
friend
program.
who
For
has
me,
gone
the
through
program was
a
Alcoholics
terrible
Anonymous.
year,
I try
had
to
loss,
make sure that I give back
had
for
to suffer
that gift
through that Loss
because it's
of
something
being present
that, been incredibly, incredibly
can be an
valuable
inspiration
to
for
me
other people, even
and,
when you don't
and
realize
if I could just
it.
try to
I think
help
about,
other people,
you know, sometimes you
you
said
know,
sometimes the
see
best I
the
can
value
do is show
in that
up
and
to a meeting.
change your life. Right?
You
The
might
meeting
be
went
underselling
to last night.
yourself
There was a guy
because
with
sometimes
who I've seen
if
before.
you show up to a meeting,
I don't, I didn't know him that
there
well,
can
but
be a
I
better
have seen
meeting
him before.
for somebody else
But he had too much,
that if a couple
which
people
means
who just
that if
always
I seen him before,
show up
that means
to
he
that
probably
meeting,
I've been struggling
stop
in and out
showing
a bit.
up that
you
meeting
know, I
might
just.
go
I
away,
hope a guy like him
or the quality
can
of sobriety
show up
there
and
might not be good enough for
yeah,
the new person.
if he. If he comes Friday
There's
night,
always
they'll see
going to
me
be
there
people
and
filing
start seeing,
in
oh,
and
this,
out
this
of meetings,
is what this guy does to
but
stay
having
sober.
even
Right.
if it's like two
And
or three
not only
people
me,
who
like
are
all
that
the guys
core
around
who
this
are there
camp
every
are, most of them
single time,
will go to this Friday night meeting I go
that
to.
can
It's like,
be the
oh, this
stability
is what these guys do.
for somebody
They show
else.
up and go to meetings, you know, So hopefully he can learn from that and and, you know, work on a program that will help him
Yep.
right? Absolutely. Now that that was huge for me. It was huge for me being able to find some people that I was comfortable with. And I used to ask people all the time, especially I used to ask people all the time, where else do you go to meetings? You know, for people that I liked especially, I would say, where else do you go? And they said, Oh, I go here on Tuesday night. So I go here on this night and I go ahead.
And what that gave me was even after Tuesday night, which is typically not a night where I go to meetings, but in in the past, like I said, if I was having a bad night and I had a lot of bad nights early in my sobriety,
Mm hmm.
I had a lot of things where I did not want to be home. Like my sure about it many times. My marriage is very much struggling, very much wasn't sure if we were going to make it. And so the best thing for me that I could do at that time was be out of the house and I would work all day and I would come home and I would decide, you know something? I need to get out of here for an hour or two. And I would go, Oh, so-so, you know, my buddy Edson said that he goes here on Tuesday nights,
right? And I would go there
That
and
was important
I would know
to me early
that most
on,
nights I would
is
be Hellcats
seeing
and I'd be
some
LC
people
And
that
then
I
I would
typically
get to know some of the
saw
other guys
going
like, Oh,
to
some of these guys
a few
go to
meetings
the Thursday night meeting.
and I could
So
just tag
same
along
thing.
and know,
I
okay,
would be
I
able to
know
show
those
up at these
person.
meetings
They go to these
and always
three meetings,
know somebody. And
I
even
know I'll be
today
safe
I do
there
that
because at least
like
I'll know
even
some
today,
people
like any night of the week,
because it's scary.
I could
It's
go,
scary when you first
I
start
could
and you
go
go to
say,
these
okay, and this
these
night
meetings
I want to
and
go out to a
church
meeting.
basements
Where am I going to
with
go?
these shady looking
And
people,
based upon
some
I'm going
of
to
these
know
people
people at that meeting,
and, you know, why do I belong here?
oh, man, these steps are made for fear and anxiety, right? I mean, certainly, you know, you're going to you're going to work on some of the stuff when you do four and five for sure and then. Right, Right. Absolutely. yeah, there's, there's no question about it that the steps are going to help you with that. And then you're going to really you're, you're going to go through that right? Three and then four and five, you're going to really deal with
the details of it. And then six and seven, you're going to ask for it to be you know, you're going to ask to have it removed and relieved and relief from it. So the steps are what helped me get through this stuff. It's what gave me freedom from this stuff. It really did is like I've, I, I finally have come to the realization that I don't need to hang on to this stuff.
So when I have, you know, any of it, whether it's anger or resentment or disappointment or fear or anxiety, because all of those things still happen to me because I'm a human being, but I don't need to hold on to them. to me that's the biggest thing, because I would I would take those feelings and man,
Yeah,
and even in sobriety, I would take those feelings and I would hold on to them
Yeah, me too.
and I would try to milk them for all the pity I could get for myself, You know, like poor me. Poor me.
What do you think in terms of step work, fear and anxiety? What are steps
All right.
that you can use to help you out? Yeah, I'm thinking step three alone.
Mm
Sometimes there's some prayer, some meditation that's going to help.
mm,
No.
mm.
I've done some. I've done some roller coaster therapy, which has helped me in this, that we have these season tickets, the Six Flags. And I've never gone on roller coasters or any exciting ride in my life. But we have these things and on one hand, I want to take advantage of the ticket that I have, and the other hand is
yeah,
I don't want to be barred from an experience because I have fear. So I started going on these roller coasters, Superman. The ride is the one I had been waiting for. Superman,
yeah,
The ride, if you don't know, it is kind of what you think it is. It's the biggest roller coaster in New England. It goes up to about it's the highest roller coaster, goes
yeah.
about 77 miles an hour. It goes way up like you. You time it out. It's about a minute that you're going up. And if you see it from the ground, it looks like, why the hell would I ever go on that? That looks scary as hell. And it's it's long. It goes a long, long way. And I wasn't going to go on at the last time. And I finally said, I got to do this, I got to do this. And so my son sat next to me, which I was grateful for, and I
had an experience with him. And you go up and you can see the river and you go down and I can't even remember half of this stuff because it was so intense. And I realized going on these roller coasters,
It might.
the thing
It wouldn't
I fear
be the course I would take,
is the things
the path
I cannot
I would take.
control. Because when you get to the top in the roller coaster
yeah,
goes over and you've turned that
Although
potential
I,
energy
although
into
I have
kinetic
some,
energy,
you know, there, there it has
it's
some promise
the thing
to
of
it if you can
you've
do that
got
and if
to
you can
go
get through
from
it and
the
go
top
and then,
to the station.
and then go back
There's
and do
no
it
way
again
you
and
can
maybe
stop and
at
you have
some
to just
point
go
even
with
and
it
get some enjoyment
and you have to
out
go
of
wherever
it.
that train's
It's
going,
been a long
be
time
it upside
since I've been
down
on that super.
or
My
on the side
my kids are
or faster
you know, I
up
took
and
my
down
kids there, too, and
through
my kids
the tunnel.
are my
And
youngest
there's nothing
is 30.
you can
So
do to stop it. And
it's
I
been a while.
don't like that
And
lack of control.
and I can remember
I
when I
finally
went on there, it was
realized
like
that thing.
I was like, man,
I
I'm
went
not sure
on the sky
why I went
screamer,
on this ride.
which I realized
You know,
was a mistake,
like you
was
do. You get
a
up
mistake.
to the top of
This
that Superman
is a swing
ride and you can
that
see
goes
the Connecticut
up 425
River, you know, like, Wow,
feet and
I'm
swings
up here,
out
man.
at 40
I go
miles
up
an
there
hour
and then it just
and
drops
the
and
wind
and
changes,
I was just looking
and
at it
my
and
swing
you talked about
turned
it. It only
backwards
lasts for a minute and a half. It's
because
not like
of the weight differential
it's
between
not like
my
it
daughter
lasts
and
forever,
I close my eyes the whole
but
way.
it feels like
But
it's
it was
a long,
that lack of control
you know, it's
is
a long time.
now that it's gone up. The only thing I can do is to continue going up so I can come back down and there's nothing I can do about it. And it's that lack of my control to stop it. That is my issue. And I'm doing
Yeah.
this less because I'm enjoying the roller coaster and more of I need to get my way through this to understand why I fear this and how does it
Right.
how
Yeah,
does it bother me in other parts of life? Where does it affect me in other parts of life? So I can get past that too,
right.
So I can go down
All
this
I
roller
would do,
coaster and deal with not being
I
able to
would, I would feel that way too. I absolutely would. So I don't
control
think I'd go out that.
where
I
it's going
think
to go.
I'm,
Maybe
I think
this
I've
will help
gone
me with
through
other
that
things.
phase and I don't think I need to do that. But there was a time. Good for you.
Yeah. My wife
Good
told
for
me
you.
I looked I was white as a ghost
Yeah.
when she saw me swinging by.
Hey,
Yeah.
thanks, Mac. Always great to be on with you. right. All I would do, I would, I would feel that way too. I absolutely would. So I don't think I'd go out that. I think I'm, I think I've gone through that phase and I don't think I need to do that. Good for you. Good for you. Yeah. Hey, thanks, Mac. Always great to be on with you.
You want more out of control? Try Wicked Cyclone. Even though Wicked Cyclone is smaller, you go up and it's a 90 degree drop. It goes straight down immediately into a curve and then into an invert. So you want to talk about not being in control that your body doesn't know which way it's going because it goes down and then you go on to the side and then you're going upside down. There were times where I was bracing to go one way and the car went the other. That my body was
totally confused. Talk about out of control and I'll tell you, I felt accomplished. I'm like, I did this. I actually got on these big, scary things and I did it. Now, before the season ends, I'm going to do a few more. I got two tickets. I might as well do it. Well, if you like this show, you can go to buy me a coffee dot com slash sober friends pod. If you feel that this podcast is worth something, whatever it's worth to you, you have the opportunity to keep us going
there with a donation. We do have expenses and you help us defray some of those costs. Head over to Super Friends podcast, Sign up for the newsletter, send out a weekly email or whenever I'm on another podcast or whatever, just to let you know what we're going, what's going on? I try and link to some type of sober news story. It's very short, it is very infrequent, but it keeps you in touch with us. Steve, thanks for coming on and being vulnerable with fears and anxieties.
And we'll see you next week by everybody. Yeah. We are just pouring hundreds of dollars into him with this volleyball. Hundreds of dollars. And he asks for more and more. Oh, I want to do this Camp one. Do this camp. And we've had to say, Dude, we can't do camp every single night. Very difficult life. Oh, my God. There's more fear and anxiety. College is coming up three years away now. Mm hmm. And I think about this because I have fear and anxiety about my
job right now. And I'm in. This is this is part of my issue. This is part of my development. I don't know if I trust my own emotions because it feels very uncertain at work. The environment has changed. We've had a very big reorg. Some of the leaders that I used to have are now gone. There are a whole bunch of new people in with very new ideas, very different ways of doing business from very far away in the country. One of the things that I have as a strength
is I'm very resilient. I talked to I did a skip level today with my boss boss, and she talked about how we're really asking people to change what worked for you in the past. How you worked before is not what you have to hold on to today. What you have to do is be willing to change how we're doing business, because in a national environment, we can't do the same things you're doing regionally. And I kind of looked at her cross-eyed and said, I'm
good with that. I don't get too wedded to any one idea and know that, okay, I see where we're going. We have to do some changing. And she had very mild feedback from me, very mild feedback of you could do this or that. I look at that, I'm like, I feel like I'm pretty safe here. Oh, yeah. My worries always. I make too much money because I have gotten very good reviews and I have
performed very, very well. I've taken advantage of compounding raises and now I look at that and say, Am I making too much money to be of value to the company? That's what I have fear about. I know the story is a good one, but nope. I picked up the phone yesterday. Oh, good for you. You're doing something right in your program. If you're brand new and you're thinking, if I go to a 12 step meeting or however you get sober or whatever, whatever type of program you might be in, they're
not really around. I used to drink, and this is how I'm either going to learn how to drink better or this is how I'm going to sit a certain way so I don't drink anymore. It's not about the mechanics of drinking. It's about your feelings and it's about things like this. And fears and anxiety can be a trigger for many people. It's definitely a trigger for me. What I have learned going through a 12 step program is how to handle them, that I'm not
alone. Other people have them, and these are the things you need to do to get through them. Programs that help you through addiction are really programs that help you navigate life. If you have those life skills, you don't need substances to get through them. That's the dirty secret. Mm hmm. Absolutely. When I was thinking of this topic, I was thinking about the fear and anxiety and then thinking about vulnerability and realizing these are a lot of the same topics. I wasn't vulnerable
before. I wasn't asking for help. The cure is to be as vulnerable as possible and to extend trust to other people, especially other people who are going through the same predicament you are. They may have answers because they went through it. They may be suffering the same thing. And then you both feel you're not alone. You get that validation. It'll help you through. You don't need a drink for that. You can have a conversation and feel better. Mm hmm. When you talked about strong
people, she came to mind. I don't know if she would give herself credit as being a strong person. I consider her incredibly strong. If you think about losing a husband who had a terminal illness for a decent amount of time, living through that strength sometimes is just. I get up out of my bed every day and I live the day that low, that low bar of I'm just I'm going to meetings, I'm continuing to be alive and try and muddle through sometimes.
That's incredible strength just to be able to do that. Mm hmm. This is where you can help another person, Someone like our friend who has gone through a terrible year, had loss, had to suffer through that Loss of being present can be an inspiration for other people, even when you don't realize it. I think about, you know, sometimes you said sometimes the best I can do is show up to a
meeting. You might be underselling yourself because sometimes if you show up to a meeting, there can be a better meeting for somebody else that if a couple people who just always show up to that meeting, stop showing up that meeting might go away, or the quality of sobriety there might not be good enough for the new person.
There's always going to be people filing in and out of meetings, but having even if it's like two or three people who are that core who are there every single time, that can be the stability for somebody else. Yep. Mm hmm. That was important to me early on, is seeing some people that I typically saw going to a few meetings and I could just tag along and know, okay, I know those person. They go to these three meetings, I know I'll be safe there because at least I'll know some people because it's
scary. It's scary when you first start and you go to these these meetings and church basements with these shady looking people, some of these people and, you know, why do I belong here? Yeah, Yeah, me too. What do you think in terms of step work, fear and anxiety? What are steps that you can use to help you out? Yeah, I'm thinking step three alone. Sometimes there's some prayer, some meditation that's going to help. No.
I've done some. I've done some roller coaster therapy, which has helped me in this, that we have these season tickets, the Six Flags. And I've never gone on roller coasters or any exciting ride in my life. But we have these things and on one hand, I want to take advantage of the ticket that I have, and the other hand is I don't want to be barred from an experience because I have fear. So I started going on these roller coasters, Superman. The ride is the one I had been waiting for.
Superman, The ride, if you don't know, it is kind of what you think it is. It's the biggest roller coaster in New England. It goes up to about it's the highest roller coaster, goes about 77 miles an hour. It goes way up like you. You time it out. It's about a minute that you're going up. And if you see it from the ground, it looks like, why the hell would I ever go on that? That looks scary as hell. And it's it's long. It goes a long, long way. And I wasn't going to
go on at the last time. And I finally said, I got to do this, I got to do this. And so my son sat next to me, which I was grateful for, and I had an experience with him. And you go up and you can see the river and you go down and I can't even remember half of this stuff because it was so intense. And I realized going on these roller coasters, the thing I fear is the things I cannot control.
Because when you get to the top in the roller coaster goes over and you've turned that potential energy into kinetic energy, it's the thing of you've got to go from the top to the station. There's no way you can stop and you have to just go with it and you have to go wherever that train's going, be it upside down or on the side or faster up and down through the tunnel. And there's nothing you can do to stop it. And I don't like that lack of control. I finally
realized that thing. I went on the sky screamer, which I realized was a mistake, was a mistake. This is a swing that goes up 425 feet and swings out at 40 miles an hour and the wind changes, and my swing turned backwards because of the weight differential between my daughter and I close my eyes the whole way. But it was that lack of control is now that it's gone up. The only thing I can do is to continue going up so I can come back down and there's nothing I
can do about it. And it's that lack of my control to stop it. That is my issue. And I'm doing this less because I'm enjoying the roller coaster and more of I need to get my way through this to understand why I fear this and how does it how does it bother me in other parts of life? Where does it affect me in other parts of life? So I can get past that too, So I can go down this roller coaster and deal with not being able to control where it's going to go.
Maybe this will help me with other things. Yeah. My wife told me I looked I was white as a ghost when she saw me swinging by. Yeah. You want more out of control? Try Wicked Cyclone. Even though Wicked Cyclone is smaller, you go up and it's a 90 degree drop. It goes straight down immediately into a curve and then into an invert. So you want to talk about not being in control that your body doesn't know which way it's going because it goes down and then you go on to the side and then
you're going upside down. There were times where I was bracing to go one way and the car went the other. That my body was totally confused. Talk about out of control and I'll tell you, I felt accomplished. I'm like, I did this. I actually got on these big, scary things and I did it. Now, before the season ends, I'm going to do a few more. I got two tickets. I might as well do it. Well, if you like this show, you can go to buy me a coffee dot com slash sober friends pod.
If you feel that this podcast is worth something, whatever it's worth to you, you have the opportunity to keep us going there with a donation. We do have expenses and you help us defray some of those costs. Head over to Super Friends podcast, Sign up for the newsletter, send out a weekly email or whenever I'm on another podcast or whatever, just to let you know what we're going, what's going on? I try and link to some type
of sober news story. It's very short, it is very infrequent, but it keeps you in touch with us. Steve, thanks for coming on and being vulnerable with fears and anxieties. And we'll see you next week by everybody. Yeah. We are just pouring hundreds of dollars into him with this volleyball. Hundreds of dollars. And he asks for more and more. Oh, I want to do this Camp one. Do this camp. And we've had to say, Dude, we can't do camp every single night. Very difficult life.
Oh, my God. There's more fear and anxiety. College is coming up three years away now. Mm hmm. And I think about this because I have fear and anxiety about my job right now. And I'm in. This is this is part of my issue. This is part of my development. I don't know if I trust my own emotions because it feels very uncertain at work. The environment has changed. We've had a very big reorg. Some of the leaders that I used to have
are now gone. There are a whole bunch of new people in with very new ideas, very different ways of doing business from very far away in the country. One of the things that I have as a strength is I'm very resilient. I talked to I did a skip level today with my boss boss, and she talked about how we're really asking people to change what worked for you in the past. How you worked before is not what you have to
hold on to today. What you have to do is be willing to change how we're doing business, because in a national environment, we can't do the same things you're doing regionally. And I kind of looked at her cross-eyed and said, I'm good with that. I don't get too wedded to any one idea and know that, okay, I see where we're going. We have to do some changing. And she had very mild feedback from me, very mild feedback of you could do this or
that. I look at that, I'm like, I feel like I'm pretty safe here. Oh, yeah. My worries always. I make too much money because I have gotten very good reviews and I have performed very, very well. I've taken advantage of compounding raises and now I look at that and say, Am I making too much money to be of value to the company? That's what I have fear about. I know the story is a good one, but nope. I picked up the phone yesterday. Oh, good for you. You're doing something right in your program.
If you're brand new and you're thinking, if I go to a 12 step meeting or however you get sober or whatever, whatever type of program you might be in, they're not really around. I used to drink, and this is how I'm either going to learn how to drink better or this is how I'm going to sit a certain way so I don't drink anymore. It's not about the mechanics of drinking. It's about your feelings and it's about things like this. And fears and anxiety can be a
trigger for many people. It's definitely a trigger for me. What I have learned going through a 12 step program is how to handle them, that I'm not alone. Other people have them, and these are the things you need to do to get through them. Programs that help you through addiction are really programs that help you navigate life. If you have those life skills, you don't need substances to get through them. That's the dirty secret. Mm hmm.
Absolutely. When I was thinking of this topic, I was thinking about the fear and anxiety and then thinking about vulnerability and realizing these are a lot of the same topics. I wasn't vulnerable before. I wasn't asking for help. The cure is to be as vulnerable as possible and to extend trust to other people, especially other people who are going through the same predicament you are. They may have answers because they went through it. They may be suffering the same
thing. And then you both feel you're not alone. You get that validation. It'll help you through. You don't need a drink for that. You can have a conversation and feel better. Mm hmm. When you talked about strong people, she came to mind. I don't know if she would give herself credit as being a strong person. I consider her incredibly strong. If you think about losing a husband who had a terminal illness for a decent amount of time, living through that strength sometimes is just.
I get up out of my bed every day and I live the day that low, that low bar of I'm just I'm going to meetings, I'm continuing to be alive and try and muddle through sometimes. That's incredible strength just to be able to do that. Mm hmm. This is where you can help another person, Someone like our friend who has gone through a terrible year, had loss, had to suffer through that Loss of being present can be an inspiration for other people, even when you don't realize it.
I think about, you know, sometimes you said sometimes the best I can do is show up to a meeting. You might be underselling yourself because sometimes if you show up to a meeting, there can be a better meeting for somebody else that if a couple people who just always show up to that meeting, stop showing up that meeting might go away, or the quality of sobriety there might not be good enough for the new person.
There's always going to be people filing in and out of meetings, but having even if it's like two or three people who are that core who are there every single time, that can be the stability for somebody else. Yep. Mm hmm. That was important to me early on, is seeing some people that I typically saw going to a few meetings and I could just tag along and know, okay, I know those person. They go to these three meetings, I know I'll be safe there because at least I'll know some people because it's
scary. It's scary when you first start and you go to these these meetings and church basements with these shady looking people, some of these people and, you know, why do I belong here? Yeah, Yeah, me too. What do you think in terms of step work, fear and anxiety? What are steps that you can use to help you out? Yeah, I'm thinking step three alone. Sometimes there's some prayer, some meditation that's going to help. No.
I've done some. I've done some roller coaster therapy, which has helped me in this, that we have these season tickets, the Six Flags. And I've never gone on roller coasters or any exciting ride in my life. But we have these things and on one hand, I want to take advantage of the ticket that I have, and the other hand is I don't want to be barred from an experience because I have fear. So I started going on these roller coasters, Superman. The ride is the one I had been waiting for.
Superman, The ride, if you don't know, it is kind of what you think it is. It's the biggest roller coaster in New England. It goes up to about it's the highest roller coaster, goes about 77 miles an hour. It goes way up like you. You time it out. It's about a minute that you're going up. And if you see it from the ground, it looks like, why the hell would I ever go on that? That looks scary as hell. And it's it's long. It goes a long, long way. And I wasn't going to
go on at the last time. And I finally said, I got to do this, I got to do this. And so my son sat next to me, which I was grateful for, and I had an experience with him. And you go up and you can see the river and you go down and I can't even remember half of this stuff because it was so intense. And I realized going on these roller coasters, the thing I fear is the things I cannot control.
Because when you get to the top in the roller coaster goes over and you've turned that potential energy into kinetic energy, it's the thing of you've got to go from the top to the station. There's no way you can stop and you have to just go with it and you have to go wherever that train's going, be it upside down or on the side or faster up and down through the tunnel. And there's nothing you can do to stop it. And I don't like that lack of control. I finally
realized that thing. I went on the sky screamer, which I realized was a mistake, was a mistake. This is a swing that goes up 425 feet and swings out at 40 miles an hour and the wind changes, and my swing turned backwards because of the weight differential between my daughter and I close my eyes the whole way. But it was that lack of control is now that it's gone up. The only thing I can do is to continue going up so I can come back down and there's nothing I
can do about it. And it's that lack of my control to stop it. That is my issue. And I'm doing this less because I'm enjoying the roller coaster and more of I need to get my way through this to understand why I fear this and how does it how does it bother me in other parts of life? Where does it affect me in other parts of life? So I can get past that too, So I can go down this roller coaster and deal with not being able to control where it's going to go.
Maybe this will help me with other things. Yeah. My wife told me I looked I was white as a ghost when she saw me swinging by. Yeah. You want more out of control? Try Wicked Cyclone. Even though Wicked Cyclone is smaller, you go up and it's a 90 degree drop. It goes straight down immediately into a curve and then into an invert. So you want to talk about not being in control that your body doesn't know which way it's going because it goes down and then you go on to the side and then
you're going upside down. There were times where I was bracing to go one way and the car went the other. That my body was totally confused. Talk about out of control and I'll tell you, I felt accomplished. I'm like, I did this. I actually got on these big, scary things and I did it. Now, before the season ends, I'm going to do a few more. I got two tickets. I might as well do it. Well, if you like this show, you can go to buy me a coffee dot com slash sober friends pod.
If you feel that this podcast is worth something, whatever it's worth to you, you have the opportunity to keep us going there with a donation. We do have expenses and you help us defray some of those costs. Head over to Super Friends podcast, Sign up for the newsletter, send out a weekly email or whenever I'm on another podcast or whatever, just to let you know what we're going, what's going on? I try and link to some type
of sober news story. It's very short, it is very infrequent, but it keeps you in touch with us. Steve, thanks for coming on and being vulnerable with fears and anxieties. And we'll see you next week by everybody. Yeah. We are just pouring hundreds of dollars into him with this volleyball. Hundreds of dollars. And he asks for more and more. Oh, I want to do this Camp one. Do this camp. And we've had to say, Dude, we can't do camp every single night. Very difficult life. Very difficult life.
Oh, my God. There's more fear and anxiety. College is coming up three years away now. Oh, my God. There's more fear and anxiety. College is coming up three years away now. Oh, my God. There's more fear and anxiety. College is coming up three years away now. Oh, my God. There's more fear and anxiety. College is coming up three years away now. Mm hmm. And I think about this because I have fear and anxiety about my job right now. And I'm in. This is this is part of my issue.
This is part of my development. I don't know if I trust my own emotions because it feels very uncertain at work. The environment has changed. We've had a very big reorg. Some of the leaders that I used to have are now gone. There are a whole bunch of new people in with very new ideas, very different ways of doing business from very far away in the country. One of the things that I have as a strength
is I'm very resilient. I talked to I did a skip level today with my boss boss, and she talked about how we're really asking people to change what worked for you in the past. How you worked before is not what you have to hold on to today. What you have to do is be willing to change how we're doing business, because in a national environment, we can't do the same things you're doing regionally. And I kind of looked at her cross-eyed and said, I'm
good with that. I don't get too wedded to any one idea and know that, okay, I see where we're going. We have to do some changing. And she had very mild feedback from me, very mild feedback of you could do this or that. I look at that, I'm like, I feel like I'm pretty safe here. Oh, yeah. My worries always. I make too much money because I have gotten very good reviews and I have
performed very, very well. I've taken advantage of compounding raises and now I look at that and say, Am I making too much money to be of value to the company? That's what I have fear about. I know the story is a good one, but nope. I picked up the phone yesterday. Oh, good for you. You're doing something right in your program. If you're brand new and you're thinking, if I go to a 12 step meeting or however you get sober or whatever, whatever type of program you might be in, they're
not really around. I used to drink, and this is how I'm either going to learn how to drink better or this is how I'm going to sit a certain way so I don't drink anymore. It's not about the mechanics of drinking. It's about your feelings and it's about things like this. And fears and anxiety can be a trigger for many people. It's definitely a trigger for me. What I have learned going through a 12 step program is how to handle them, that I'm not
alone. Other people have them, and these are the things you need to do to get through them. Programs that help you through addiction are really programs that help you navigate life. If you have those life skills, you don't need substances to get through them. That's the dirty secret. Mm hmm. Absolutely. When I was thinking of this topic, I was thinking about the fear and anxiety and then thinking about vulnerability and realizing these are a lot of the same topics. I wasn't vulnerable
before. I wasn't asking for help. The cure is to be as vulnerable as possible and to extend trust to other people, especially other people who are going through the same predicament you are. They may have answers because they went through it. They may be suffering the same thing. And then you both feel you're not alone. You get that validation. It'll help you through. You don't need a drink for that. You can have a conversation and feel better. Mm hmm. When you talked about strong
people, she came to mind. I don't know if she would give herself credit as being a strong person. I consider her incredibly strong. If you think about losing a husband who had a terminal illness for a decent amount of time, living through that strength sometimes is just. I get up out of my bed every day and I live the day that low, that low bar of I'm just I'm going to meetings, I'm continuing to be alive and try and muddle through sometimes.
That's incredible strength just to be able to do that. Mm hmm. This is where you can help another person, Someone like our friend who has gone through a terrible year, had loss, had to suffer through that Loss of being present can be an inspiration for other people, even when you don't realize it. I think about, you know, sometimes you said sometimes the best I can do is show up to a
meeting. You might be underselling yourself because sometimes if you show up to a meeting, there can be a better meeting for somebody else that if a couple people who just always show up to that meeting, stop showing up that meeting might go away, or the quality of sobriety there might not be good enough for the new person.
There's always going to be people filing in and out of meetings, but having even if it's like two or three people who are that core who are there every single time, that can be the stability for somebody else. Yep. Mm hmm. That was important to me early on, is seeing some people that I typically saw going to a few meetings and I could just tag along and know, okay, I know those person. They go to these three meetings, I know I'll be safe there because at least I'll know some people because it's
scary. It's scary when you first start and you go to these these meetings and church basements with these shady looking people, some of these people and, you know, why do I belong here? Yeah, Yeah, me too. What do you think in terms of step work, fear and anxiety? What are steps that you can use to help you out? Yeah, I'm thinking step three alone. Sometimes there's some prayer, some meditation that's going to help. No.
I've done some. I've done some roller coaster therapy, which has helped me in this, that we have these season tickets, the Six Flags. And I've never gone on roller coasters or any exciting ride in my life. But we have these things and on one hand, I want to take advantage of the ticket that I have, and the other hand is I don't want to be barred from an experience because I have fear. So I started going on these roller coasters, Superman. The ride is the one I had been waiting for.
Superman, The ride, if you don't know, it is kind of what you think it is. It's the biggest roller coaster in New England. It goes up to about it's the highest roller coaster, goes about 77 miles an hour. It goes way up like you. You time it out. It's about a minute that you're going up. And if you see it from the ground, it looks like, why the hell would I ever go on that? That looks scary as hell. And it's it's long. It goes a long, long way. And I wasn't going to
go on at the last time. And I finally said, I got to do this, I got to do this. And so my son sat next to me, which I was grateful for, and I had an experience with him. And you go up and you can see the river and you go down and I can't even remember half of this stuff because it was so intense. And I realized going on these roller coasters, the thing I fear is the things I cannot control.
Because when you get to the top in the roller coaster goes over and you've turned that potential energy into kinetic energy, it's the thing of you've got to go from the top to the station. There's no way you can stop and you have to just go with it and you have to go wherever that train's going, be it upside down or on the side or faster up and down through the tunnel. And there's nothing you can do to stop it. And I don't like that lack of control. I finally
realized that thing. I went on the sky screamer, which I realized was a mistake, was a mistake. This is a swing that goes up 425 feet and swings out at 40 miles an hour and the wind changes, and my swing turned backwards because of the weight differential between my daughter and I close my eyes the whole way. But it was that lack of control is now that it's gone up. The only thing I can do is to continue going up so I can come back down and there's nothing I
can do about it. And it's that lack of my control to stop it. That is my issue. And I'm doing this less because I'm enjoying the roller coaster and more of I need to get my way through this to understand why I fear this and how does it how does it bother me in other parts of life? Where does it affect me in other parts of life? So I can get past that too, So I can go down this roller coaster and deal with not being able to control where it's going to go.
Maybe this will help me with other things. Yeah. My wife told me I looked I was white as a ghost when she saw me swinging by. Yeah. You want more out of control? Try Wicked Cyclone. Even though Wicked Cyclone is smaller, you go up and it's a 90 degree drop. It goes straight down immediately into a curve and then into an invert. So you want to talk about not being in control that your body doesn't know which way it's going because it goes down and then you go on to the side and then
you're going upside down. There were times where I was bracing to go one way and the car went the other. That my body was totally confused. Talk about out of control and I'll tell you, I felt accomplished. I'm like, I did this. I actually got on these big, scary things and I did it. Now, before the season ends, I'm going to do a few more. I got two tickets. I might as well do it. Well, if you like this show, you can go to buy me a coffee dot com slash sober friends pod.
If you feel that this podcast is worth something, whatever it's worth to you, you have the opportunity to keep us going there with a donation. We do have expenses and you help us defray some of those costs. Head over to Super Friends podcast, Sign up for the newsletter, send out a weekly email or whenever I'm on another podcast or whatever, just to let you know what we're going, what's going on? I try and link to some type
of sober news story. It's very short, it is very infrequent, but it keeps you in touch with us. Steve, thanks for coming on and being vulnerable with fears and anxieties. And we'll see you next week by everybody. Oh, yeah. My worries always. I make too much money because I have gotten very good reviews and I have performed very, very well. I've taken advantage of compounding raises and now I look at that and say, Am I making too much money to be of value to the
company? That's what I have fear about. I know the story is a good one, but nope. I picked up the phone yesterday. Oh, good for you. You're doing something right in your program. If you're brand new and you're thinking, if I go to a 12 step meeting or however you get sober or whatever, whatever type of program you might be in, they're not really around. I used to drink, and this is how I'm either going to learn how to drink better or this is how I'm going to sit a certain way so I
don't drink anymore. It's not about the mechanics of drinking. It's about your feelings and it's about things like this. And fears and anxiety can be a trigger for many people. It's definitely a trigger for me. What I have learned going through a 12 step program is how to handle them, that I'm not alone. Other people have them, and these are the things you need to do to get through them. Programs that help you through addiction are really programs
that help you navigate life. If you have those life skills, you don't need substances to get through them. That's the dirty secret. Mm hmm. Absolutely. When I was thinking of this topic, I was thinking about the fear and anxiety and then thinking about vulnerability and realizing these are a lot of the same topics. I wasn't vulnerable before. I wasn't asking for help.
The cure is to be as vulnerable as possible and to extend trust to other people, especially other people who are going through the same predicament you are. They may have answers because they went through it. They may be suffering the same thing. And then you both feel you're not alone. You get that validation. It'll help you through. You don't need a drink for that. You can have a conversation and feel better. Mm hmm. When you talked about strong
people, she came to mind. I don't know if she would give herself credit as being a strong person. I consider her incredibly strong. If you think about losing a husband who had a terminal illness for a decent amount of time, living through that strength sometimes is just. I get up out of my bed every day and I live the day that low, that low bar of I'm just I'm going to meetings, I'm continuing to be alive and try and muddle through sometimes.
That's incredible strength just to be able to do that. Mm hmm. This is where you can help another person, Someone like our friend who has gone through a terrible year, had loss, had to suffer through that Loss of being present can be an inspiration for other people, even when you don't realize it. I think about, you know, sometimes you said sometimes the best I can do is show up to a
meeting. You might be underselling yourself because sometimes if you show up to a meeting, there can be a better meeting for somebody else that if a couple people who just always show up to that meeting, stop showing up that meeting might go away, or the quality of sobriety there might not be good enough for the new person.
There's always going to be people filing in and out of meetings, but having even if it's like two or three people who are that core who are there every single time, that can be the stability for somebody else. Yep. Mm hmm. That was important to me early on, is seeing some people that I typically saw going to a few meetings and I could just tag along and know, okay, I know those person. They go to these three meetings, I know I'll be safe there because at least I'll know some people because it's
scary. It's scary when you first start and you go to these these meetings and church basements with these shady looking people, some of these people and, you know, why do I belong here? Yeah, Yeah, me too. What do you think in terms of step work, fear and anxiety? What are steps that you can use to help you out? Yeah, I'm thinking step three alone. Sometimes there's some prayer, some meditation that's going to help. No.
I've done some. I've done some roller coaster therapy, which has helped me in this, that we have these season tickets, the Six Flags. And I've never gone on roller coasters or any exciting ride in my life. But we have these things and on one hand, I want to take advantage of the ticket that I have, and the other hand is I don't want to be barred from an experience because I have fear. So I started going on these roller coasters, Superman. The ride is the one I had been waiting for.
Superman, The ride, if you don't know, it is kind of what you think it is. It's the biggest roller coaster in New England. It goes up to about it's the highest roller coaster, goes about 77 miles an hour. It goes way up like you. You time it out. It's about a minute that you're going up. And if you see it from the ground, it looks like, why the hell would I ever go on that? That looks scary as hell. And it's it's long. It goes a long, long way. And I wasn't going to
go on at the last time. And I finally said, I got to do this, I got to do this. And so my son sat next to me, which I was grateful for, and I had an experience with him. And you go up and you can see the river and you go down and I can't even remember half of this stuff because it was so intense. And I realized going on these roller coasters, the thing I fear is the things I cannot control.
Because when you get to the top in the roller coaster goes over and you've turned that potential energy into kinetic energy, it's the thing of you've got to go from the top to the station. There's no way you can stop and you have to just go with it and you have to go wherever that train's going, be it upside down or on the side or faster up and down through the tunnel. And there's nothing you can do to stop it. And I don't like that lack of control. I finally
realized that thing. I went on the sky screamer, which I realized was a mistake, was a mistake. This is a swing that goes up 425 feet and swings out at 40 miles an hour and the wind changes, and my swing turned backwards because of the weight differential between my daughter and I close my eyes the whole way. But it was that lack of control is now that it's gone up. The only thing I can do is to continue going up so I can come back down and there's nothing I
can do about it. And it's that lack of my control to stop it. That is my issue. And I'm doing this less because I'm enjoying the roller coaster and more of I need to get my way through this to understand why I fear this and how does it how does it bother me in other parts of life? Where does it affect me in other parts of life? So I can get past that too, So I can go down this roller coaster and deal with not being able to control where it's going to go.
Maybe this will help me with other things. Yeah. My wife told me I looked I was white as a ghost when she saw me swinging by. Yeah. You want more out of control? Try Wicked Cyclone. Even though Wicked Cyclone is smaller, you go up and it's a 90 degree drop. It goes straight down immediately into a curve and then into an invert. So you want to talk about not being in control that your body doesn't know which way it's going because it goes down and then you go on to the side and then
you're going upside down. There were times where I was bracing to go one way and the car went the other. That my body was totally confused. Talk about out of control and I'll tell you, I felt accomplished. I'm like, I did this. I actually got on these big, scary things and I did it. Now, before the season ends, I'm going to do a few more. I got two tickets. I might as well do it. Well, if you like this show, you can go to buy me a coffee dot com slash sober friends pod.
If you feel that this podcast is worth something, whatever it's worth to you, you have the opportunity to keep us going there with a donation. We do have expenses and you help us defray some of those costs. Head over to Super Friends podcast, Sign up for the newsletter, send out a weekly email or whenever I'm on another podcast or whatever, just to let you know what we're going, what's going on? I try and link to some type
of sober news story. It's very short, it is very infrequent, but it keeps you in touch with us. Steve, thanks for coming on and being vulnerable with fears and anxieties. And we'll see you next week by everybody. My worries always. I make too much money because I have gotten very good reviews and I have performed very, very well. I've taken advantage of compounding raises and now I look at that and say, Am I making too much money to be of value to the company? That's what I have fear about.
I know the story is a good one, but nope. I picked up the phone yesterday. Oh, good for you. You're doing something right in your program. If you're brand new and you're thinking, if I go to a 12 step meeting or however you get sober or whatever, whatever type of program you might be in, they're not really around. I used to drink, and this is how I'm either going to learn how to drink better or this is how I'm going to sit a certain way so I
don't drink anymore. It's not about the mechanics of drinking. It's about your feelings and it's about things like this. And fears and anxiety can be a trigger for many people. It's definitely a trigger for me. What I have learned going through a 12 step program is how to handle them, that I'm not alone. Other people have them, and these are the things you need to do to get through them. Programs that help you through addiction are really programs
that help you navigate life. If you have those life skills, you don't need substances to get through them. That's the dirty secret. Mm hmm. Absolutely. When I was thinking of this topic, I was thinking about the fear and anxiety and then thinking about vulnerability and realizing these are a lot of the same topics. I wasn't vulnerable before. I wasn't asking for help.
The cure is to be as vulnerable as possible and to extend trust to other people, especially other people who are going through the same predicament you are. They may have answers because they went through it. They may be suffering the same thing. And then you both feel you're not alone. You get that validation. It'll help you through. You don't need a drink for that. You can have a conversation and feel better. Mm hmm. When you talked about strong
people, she came to mind. I don't know if she would give herself credit as being a strong person. I consider her incredibly strong. If you think about losing a husband who had a terminal illness for a decent amount of time, living through that strength sometimes is just. I get up out of my bed every day and I live the day that low, that low bar of I'm just I'm going to meetings, I'm continuing to be alive and try and muddle through sometimes.
That's incredible strength just to be able to do that. Mm hmm. This is where you can help another person, Someone like our friend who has gone through a terrible year, had loss, had to suffer through that Loss of being present can be an inspiration for other people, even when you don't realize it. I think about, you know, sometimes you said sometimes the best I can do is show up to a
meeting. You might be underselling yourself because sometimes if you show up to a meeting, there can be a better meeting for somebody else that if a couple people who just always show up to that meeting, stop showing up that meeting might go away, or the quality of sobriety there might not be good enough for the new person.
There's always going to be people filing in and out of meetings, but having even if it's like two or three people who are that core who are there every single time, that can be the stability for somebody else. Yep. Mm hmm. That was important to me early on, is seeing some people that I typically saw going to a few meetings and I could just tag along and know, okay, I know those person. They go to these three meetings, I know I'll be safe there because at least I'll know some people because it's
scary. It's scary when you first start and you go to these these meetings and church basements with these shady looking people, some of these people and, you know, why do I belong here? Yeah, Yeah, me too. What do you think in terms of step work, fear and anxiety? What are steps that you can use to help you out? Yeah, I'm thinking step three alone. Sometimes there's some prayer, some meditation that's going to help. No.
I've done some. I've done some roller coaster therapy, which has helped me in this, that we have these season tickets, the Six Flags. And I've never gone on roller coasters or any exciting ride in my life. But we have these things and on one hand, I want to take advantage of the ticket that I have, and the other hand is I don't want to be barred from an experience because I have fear. So I started going on these roller coasters, Superman. The ride is the one I had been waiting for.
Superman, The ride, if you don't know, it is kind of what you think it is. It's the biggest roller coaster in New England. It goes up to about it's the highest roller coaster, goes about 77 miles an hour. It goes way up like you. You time it out. It's about a minute that you're going up. And if you see it from the ground, it looks like, why the hell would I ever go on that? That looks scary as hell. And it's it's long. It goes a long, long way. And I wasn't going to
go on at the last time. And I finally said, I got to do this, I got to do this. And so my son sat next to me, which I was grateful for, and I had an experience with him. And you go up and you can see the river and you go down and I can't even remember half of this stuff because it was so intense. And I realized going on these roller coasters, the thing I fear is the things I cannot control.
Because when you get to the top in the roller coaster goes over and you've turned that potential energy into kinetic energy, it's the thing of you've got to go from the top to the station. There's no way you can stop and you have to just go with it and you have to go wherever that train's going, be it upside down or on the side or faster up and down through the tunnel. And there's nothing you can do to stop it. And I don't like that lack of control. I finally
realized that thing. I went on the sky screamer, which I realized was a mistake, was a mistake. This is a swing that goes up 425 feet and swings out at 40 miles an hour and the wind changes, and my swing turned backwards because of the weight differential between my daughter and I close my eyes the whole way. But it was that lack of control is now that it's gone up. The only thing I can do is to continue going up so I can come back down and there's nothing I
can do about it. And it's that lack of my control to stop it. That is my issue. And I'm doing this less because I'm enjoying the roller coaster and more of I need to get my way through this to understand why I fear this and how does it how does it bother me in other parts of life? Where does it affect me in other parts of life? So I can get past that too, So I can go down this roller coaster and deal with not being able to control where it's going to go.
Maybe this will help me with other things. Yeah. My wife told me I looked I was white as a ghost when she saw me swinging by. Yeah. You want more out of control? Try Wicked Cyclone. Even though Wicked Cyclone is smaller, you go up and it's a 90 degree drop. It goes straight down immediately into a curve and then into an invert. So you want to talk about not being in control that your body doesn't know which way it's going because it goes down and then you go on to the side and then
you're going upside down. There were times where I was bracing to go one way and the car went the other. That my body was totally confused. Talk about out of control and I'll tell you, I felt accomplished. I'm like, I did this. I actually got on these big, scary things and I did it. Now, before the season ends, I'm going to do a few more. I got two tickets. I might as well do it. Well, if you like this show, you can go to buy me a coffee dot com slash sober friends pod.
If you feel that this podcast is worth something, whatever it's worth to you, you have the opportunity to keep us going there with a donation. We do have expenses and you help us defray some of those costs. Head over to Super Friends podcast, Sign up for the newsletter, send out a weekly email or whenever I'm on another podcast or whatever, just to let you know what we're going, what's going on? I try and link to some type
of sober news story. It's very short, it is very infrequent, but it keeps you in touch with us. Steve, thanks for coming on and being vulnerable with fears and anxieties. And we'll see you next week by everybody. I know the story is a good one, but nope. I picked up the phone yesterday. Oh, good for you. You're doing something right in your program.
If you're brand new and you're thinking, if I go to a 12 step meeting or however you get sober or whatever, whatever type of program you might be in, they're not really around. I used to drink, and this is how I'm either going to learn how to drink better or this is how I'm going to sit a certain way so I don't drink anymore. It's not about the mechanics of drinking. It's about your feelings and it's about things like this. And fears and anxiety can be a
trigger for many people. It's definitely a trigger for me. What I have learned going through a 12 step program is how to handle them, that I'm not alone. Other people have them, and these are the things you need to do to get through them. Programs that help you through addiction are really programs that help you navigate life. If you have those life skills, you don't need substances to get through them. That's the dirty secret. Mm hmm.
Absolutely. When I was thinking of this topic, I was thinking about the fear and anxiety and then thinking about vulnerability and realizing these are a lot of the same topics. I wasn't vulnerable before. I wasn't asking for help. The cure is to be as vulnerable as possible and to extend trust to other people, especially other people who are going through the same predicament you are. They may have answers because they went through it. They may be suffering the same
thing. And then you both feel you're not alone. You get that validation. It'll help you through. You don't need a drink for that. You can have a conversation and feel better. Mm hmm. When you talked about strong people, she came to mind. I don't know if she would give herself credit as being a strong person. I consider her incredibly strong. If you think about losing a husband who had a terminal illness for a decent amount of time, living through that strength sometimes is just.
I get up out of my bed every day and I live the day that low, that low bar of I'm just I'm going to meetings, I'm continuing to be alive and try and muddle through sometimes. That's incredible strength just to be able to do that. Mm hmm. This is where you can help another person, Someone like our friend who has gone through a terrible year, had loss, had to suffer through that Loss of being present can be an inspiration for other people, even when you don't realize it.
I think about, you know, sometimes you said sometimes the best I can do is show up to a meeting. You might be underselling yourself because sometimes if you show up to a meeting, there can be a better meeting for somebody else that if a couple people who just always show up to that meeting, stop showing up that meeting might go away, or the quality of sobriety there might not be good enough for the new person.
There's always going to be people filing in and out of meetings, but having even if it's like two or three people who are that core who are there every single time, that can be the stability for somebody else. Yep. Mm hmm. That was important to me early on, is seeing some people that I typically saw going to a few meetings and I could just tag along and know, okay, I know those person. They go to these three meetings, I know I'll be safe there because at least I'll know some people because it's
scary. It's scary when you first start and you go to these these meetings and church basements with these shady looking people, some of these people and, you know, why do I belong here? Yeah, Yeah, me too. What do you think in terms of step work, fear and anxiety? What are steps that you can use to help you out? Yeah, I'm thinking step three alone. Sometimes there's some prayer, some meditation that's going to help. No.
I've done some. I've done some roller coaster therapy, which has helped me in this, that we have these season tickets, the Six Flags. And I've never gone on roller coasters or any exciting ride in my life. But we have these things and on one hand, I want to take advantage of the ticket that I have, and the other hand is I don't want to be barred from an experience because I have fear. So I started going on these roller coasters, Superman. The ride is the one I had been waiting for.
Superman, The ride, if you don't know, it is kind of what you think it is. It's the biggest roller coaster in New England. It goes up to about it's the highest roller coaster, goes about 77 miles an hour. It goes way up like you. You time it out. It's about a minute that you're going up. And if you see it from the ground, it looks like, why the hell would I ever go on that? That looks scary as hell. And it's it's long. It goes a long, long way. And I wasn't going to
go on at the last time. And I finally said, I got to do this, I got to do this. And so my son sat next to me, which I was grateful for, and I had an experience with him. And you go up and you can see the river and you go down and I can't even remember half of this stuff because it was so intense. And I realized going on these roller coasters, the thing I fear is the things I cannot control.
Because when you get to the top in the roller coaster goes over and you've turned that potential energy into kinetic energy, it's the thing of you've got to go from the top to the station. There's no way you can stop and you have to just go with it and you have to go wherever that train's going, be it upside down or on the side or faster up and down through the tunnel. And there's nothing you can do to stop it. And I don't like that lack of control. I finally
realized that thing. I went on the sky screamer, which I realized was a mistake, was a mistake. This is a swing that goes up 425 feet and swings out at 40 miles an hour and the wind changes, and my swing turned backwards because of the weight differential between my daughter and I close my eyes the whole way. But it was that lack of control is now that it's gone up. The only thing I can do is to continue going up so I can come back down and there's nothing I
can do about it. And it's that lack of my control to stop it. That is my issue. And I'm doing this less because I'm enjoying the roller coaster and more of I need to get my way through this to understand why I fear this and how does it how does it bother me in other parts of life? Where does it affect me in other parts of life? So I can get past that too, So I can go down this roller coaster and deal with not being able to control where it's going to go.
Maybe this will help me with other things. Yeah. My wife told me I looked I was white as a ghost when she saw me swinging by. Yeah. You want more out of control? Try Wicked Cyclone. Even though Wicked Cyclone is smaller, you go up and it's a 90 degree drop. It goes straight down immediately into a curve and then into an invert. So you want to talk about not being in control that your body doesn't know which way it's going because it goes down and then you go on to the side and then
you're going upside down. There were times where I was bracing to go one way and the car went the other. That my body was totally confused. Talk about out of control and I'll tell you, I felt accomplished. I'm like, I did this. I actually got on these big, scary things and I did it. Now, before the season ends, I'm going to do a few more. I got two tickets. I might as well do it. Well, if you like this show, you can go to buy me a coffee dot com slash sober friends pod.
If you feel that this podcast is worth something, whatever it's worth to you, you have the opportunity to keep us going there with a donation. We do have expenses and you help us defray some of those costs. Head over to Super Friends podcast, Sign up for the newsletter, send out a weekly email or whenever I'm on another podcast or whatever, just to let you know what we're going, what's going on? I try and link to some type
of sober news story. It's very short, it is very infrequent, but it keeps you in touch with us. Steve, thanks for coming on and being vulnerable with fears and anxieties. And we'll see you next week by everybody. I know the story is a good one, but nope. I picked up the phone yesterday. Oh, good for you. You're doing something right in your program.
If you're brand new and you're thinking, if I go to a 12 step meeting or however you get sober or whatever, whatever type of program you might be in, they're not really around. I used to drink, and this is how I'm either going to learn how to drink better or this is how I'm going to sit a certain way so I don't drink anymore. It's not about the mechanics of drinking. It's about your feelings and it's about things like this. And fears and anxiety can be a
trigger for many people. It's definitely a trigger for me. What I have learned going through a 12 step program is how to handle them, that I'm not alone. Other people have them, and these are the things you need to do to get through them. Programs that help you through addiction are really programs that help you navigate life. If you have those life skills, you don't need substances to get through them. That's the dirty secret. Mm hmm.
Absolutely. When I was thinking of this topic, I was thinking about the fear and anxiety and then thinking about vulnerability and realizing these are a lot of the same topics. I wasn't vulnerable before. I wasn't asking for help. The cure is to be as vulnerable as possible and to extend trust to other people, especially other people who are going through the same predicament you are. They may have answers because they went through it. They may be suffering the same
thing. And then you both feel you're not alone. You get that validation. It'll help you through. You don't need a drink for that. You can have a conversation and feel better. Mm hmm. When you talked about strong people, she came to mind. I don't know if she would give herself credit as being a strong person. I consider her incredibly strong. If you think about losing a husband who had a terminal illness for a decent amount of time, living through that strength sometimes is just.
I get up out of my bed every day and I live the day that low, that low bar of I'm just I'm going to meetings, I'm continuing to be alive and try and muddle through sometimes. That's incredible strength just to be able to do that. Mm hmm. This is where you can help another person, Someone like our friend who has gone through a terrible year, had loss, had to suffer through that Loss of being present can be an inspiration for other people, even when you don't realize it.
I think about, you know, sometimes you said sometimes the best I can do is show up to a meeting. You might be underselling yourself because sometimes if you show up to a meeting, there can be a better meeting for somebody else that if a couple people who just always show up to that meeting, stop showing up that meeting might go away, or the quality of sobriety there might not be good enough for the new person.
There's always going to be people filing in and out of meetings, but having even if it's like two or three people who are that core who are there every single time, that can be the stability for somebody else. Yep. Mm hmm. That was important to me early on, is seeing some people that I typically saw going to a few meetings and I could just tag along and know, okay, I know those person. They go to these three meetings, I know I'll be safe there because at least I'll know some people because it's
scary. It's scary when you first start and you go to these these meetings and church basements with these shady looking people, some of these people and, you know, why do I belong here? Yeah, Yeah, me too. What do you think in terms of step work, fear and anxiety? What are steps that you can use to help you out? Yeah, I'm thinking step three alone. Sometimes there's some prayer, some meditation that's going to help. No.
I've done some. I've done some roller coaster therapy, which has helped me in this, that we have these season tickets, the Six Flags. And I've never gone on roller coasters or any exciting ride in my life. But we have these things and on one hand, I want to take advantage of the ticket that I have, and the other hand is I don't want to be barred from an experience because I have fear. So I started going on these roller coasters, Superman. The ride is the one I had been waiting for.
Superman, The ride, if you don't know, it is kind of what you think it is. It's the biggest roller coaster in New England. It goes up to about it's the highest roller coaster, goes about 77 miles an hour. It goes way up like you. You time it out. It's about a minute that you're going up. And if you see it from the ground, it looks like, why the hell would I ever go on that? That looks scary as hell. And it's it's long. It goes a long, long way. And I wasn't going to
go on at the last time. And I finally said, I got to do this, I got to do this. And so my son sat next to me, which I was grateful for, and I had an experience with him. And you go up and you can see the river and you go down and I can't even remember half of this stuff because it was so intense. And I realized going on these roller coasters, the thing I fear is the things I cannot control.
Because when you get to the top in the roller coaster goes over and you've turned that potential energy into kinetic energy, it's the thing of you've got to go from the top to the station. There's no way you can stop and you have to just go with it and you have to go wherever that train's going, be it upside down or on the side or faster up and down through the tunnel. And there's nothing you can do to stop it. And I don't like that lack of control. I finally
realized that thing. I went on the sky screamer, which I realized was a mistake, was a mistake. This is a swing that goes up 425 feet and swings out at 40 miles an hour and the wind changes, and my swing turned backwards because of the weight differential between my daughter and I close my eyes the whole way. But it was that lack of control is now that it's gone up. The only thing I can do is to continue going up so I can come back down and there's nothing I
can do about it. And it's that lack of my control to stop it. That is my issue. And I'm doing this less because I'm enjoying the roller coaster and more of I need to get my way through this to understand why I fear this and how does it how does it bother me in other parts of life? Where does it affect me in other parts of life? So I can get past that too, So I can go down this roller coaster and deal with not being able to control where it's going to go.
Maybe this will help me with other things. Yeah. My wife told me I looked I was white as a ghost when she saw me swinging by. Yeah. You want more out of control? Try Wicked Cyclone. Even though Wicked Cyclone is smaller, you go up and it's a 90 degree drop. It goes straight down immediately into a curve and then into an invert. So you want to talk about not being in control that your body doesn't know which way it's going because it goes down and then you go on to the side and then
you're going upside down. There were times where I was bracing to go one way and the car went the other. That my body was totally confused. Talk about out of control and I'll tell you, I felt accomplished. I'm like, I did this. I actually got on these big, scary things and I did it. Now, before the season ends, I'm going to do a few more. I got two tickets. I might as well do it. Well, if you like this show, you can go to buy me a coffee dot com slash sober friends pod.
If you feel that this podcast is worth something, whatever it's worth to you, you have the opportunity to keep us going there with a donation. We do have expenses and you help us defray some of those costs. Head over to Super Friends podcast, Sign up for the newsletter, send out a weekly email or whenever I'm on another podcast or whatever, just to let you know what we're going, what's going on? I try and link to some type
of sober news story. It's very short, it is very infrequent, but it keeps you in touch with us. Steve, thanks for coming on and being vulnerable with fears and anxieties. And we'll see you next week by everybody. I know the story is a good one, nope. I picked up the phone yesterday. nope. I picked up the phone yesterday. Oh, good for you. You're doing something right in your program.
If you're brand new and you're thinking, if I go to a 12 step meeting or however you get sober or whatever, whatever type of program you might be in, they're not really around. I used to drink, and this is how I'm either going to learn how to drink better or this is how I'm going to sit a certain way so I don't drink anymore. It's not about the mechanics of drinking. It's about your feelings and it's about things like this. And fears and anxiety can be a
trigger for many people. It's definitely a trigger for me. What I have learned going through a 12 step program is how to handle them, that I'm not alone. Other people have them, and these are the things you need to do to get through them. Programs that help you through addiction are really programs that help you navigate life. If you have those life skills, you don't need substances to get through them. That's the dirty secret. Mm hmm.
Absolutely. When I was thinking of this topic, I was thinking about the fear and anxiety and then thinking about vulnerability and realizing these are a lot of the same topics. I wasn't vulnerable before. I wasn't asking for help. The cure is to be as vulnerable as possible and to extend trust to other people, especially other people who are going through the same predicament you are. They may have answers because they went through it. They may be suffering the same
thing. And then you both feel you're not alone. You get that validation. It'll help you through. You don't need a drink for that. You can have a conversation and feel better. Mm hmm. When you talked about strong people, she came to mind. I don't know if she would give herself credit as being a strong person. I consider her incredibly strong. If you think about losing a husband who had a terminal illness for a decent amount of time, living through that strength sometimes is just.
I get up out of my bed every day and I live the day that low, that low bar of I'm just I'm going to meetings, I'm continuing to be alive and try and muddle through sometimes. That's incredible strength just to be able to do that. Mm hmm. This is where you can help another person, Someone like our friend who has gone through a terrible year, had loss, had to suffer through that Loss of being present can be an inspiration for other people, even when you don't realize it.
I think about, you know, sometimes you said sometimes the best I can do is show up to a meeting. You might be underselling yourself because sometimes if you show up to a meeting, there can be a better meeting for somebody else that if a couple people who just always show up to that meeting, stop showing up that meeting might go away, or the quality of sobriety there might not be good enough for the new person.
There's always going to be people filing in and out of meetings, but having even if it's like two or three people who are that core who are there every single time, that can be the stability for somebody else. Yep. Mm hmm. That was important to me early on, is seeing some people that I typically saw going to a few meetings and I could just tag along and know, okay, I know those person. They go to these three meetings, I know I'll be safe there because at least I'll know some people because it's
scary. It's scary when you first start and you go to these these meetings and church basements with these shady looking people, some of these people and, you know, why do I belong here? Yeah, Yeah, me too. What do you think in terms of step work, fear and anxiety? What are steps that you can use to help you out? Yeah, I'm thinking step three alone. Sometimes there's some prayer, some meditation that's going to help. No.
I've done some. I've done some roller coaster therapy, which has helped me in this, that we have these season tickets, the Six Flags. And I've never gone on roller coasters or any exciting ride in my life. But we have these things and on one hand, I want to take advantage of the ticket that I have, and the other hand is I don't want to be barred from an experience because I have fear. So I started going on these roller coasters, Superman. The ride is the one I had been waiting for.
Superman, The ride, if you don't know, it is kind of what you think it is. It's the biggest roller coaster in New England. It goes up to about it's the highest roller coaster, goes about 77 miles an hour. It goes way up like you. You time it out. It's about a minute that you're going up. And if you see it from the ground, it looks like, why the hell would I ever go on that? That looks scary as hell. And it's it's long. It goes a long, long way. And I wasn't going to
go on at the last time. And I finally said, I got to do this, I got to do this. And so my son sat next to me, which I was grateful for, and I had an experience with him. And you go up and you can see the river and you go down and I can't even remember half of this stuff because it was so intense. And I realized going on these roller coasters, the thing I fear is the things I cannot control.
Because when you get to the top in the roller coaster goes over and you've turned that potential energy into kinetic energy, it's the thing of you've got to go from the top to the station. There's no way you can stop and you have to just go with it and you have to go wherever that train's going, be it upside down or on the side or faster up and down through the tunnel. And there's nothing you can do to stop it. And I don't like that lack of control. I finally
realized that thing. I went on the sky screamer, which I realized was a mistake, was a mistake. This is a swing that goes up 425 feet and swings out at 40 miles an hour and the wind changes, and my swing turned backwards because of the weight differential between my daughter and I close my eyes the whole way. But it was that lack of control is now that it's gone up. The only thing I can do is to continue going up so I can come back down and there's nothing I
can do about it. And it's that lack of my control to stop it. That is my issue. And I'm doing this less because I'm enjoying the roller coaster and more of I need to get my way through this to understand why I fear this and how does it how does it bother me in other parts of life? Where does it affect me in other parts of life? So I can get past that too, So I can go down this roller coaster and deal with not being able to control where it's going to go.
Maybe this will help me with other things. Yeah. My wife told me I looked I was white as a ghost when she saw me swinging by. Yeah. You want more out of control? Try Wicked Cyclone. Even though Wicked Cyclone is smaller, you go up and it's a 90 degree drop. It goes straight down immediately into a curve and then into an invert. So you want to talk about not being in control that your body doesn't know which way it's going because it goes down and then you go on to the side and then
you're going upside down. There were times where I was bracing to go one way and the car went the other. That my body was totally confused. Talk about out of control and I'll tell you, I felt accomplished. I'm like, I did this. I actually got on these big, scary things and I did it. Now, before the season ends, I'm going to do a few more. I got two tickets. I might as well do it. Well, if you like this show, you can go to buy me a coffee dot com slash sober friends pod.
If you feel that this podcast is worth something, whatever it's worth to you, you have the opportunity to keep us going there with a donation. We do have expenses and you help us defray some of those costs. Head over to Super Friends podcast, Sign up for the newsletter, send out a weekly email or whenever I'm on another podcast or whatever, just to let you know what we're going, what's going on? I try and link to some type
of sober news story. It's very short, it is very infrequent, but it keeps you in touch with us. Steve, thanks for coming on and being vulnerable with fears and anxieties. And we'll see you next week by everybody. If you're brand new and you're thinking, if I go to a 12 step meeting or however you get sober or whatever, whatever type of program you might be in,
they're not really around. I used to drink, and this is how I'm either going to learn how to drink better or this is how I'm going to sit a certain way so I don't drink anymore. It's not about the mechanics of drinking. It's about your feelings and it's about things like this. And fears and anxiety can be a trigger for many people. It's definitely a trigger for me. What I have learned going through a 12 step program is how to handle them, that I'm not
alone. Other people have them, and these are the things you need to do to get through them. Programs that help you through addiction are really programs that help you navigate life. If you have those life skills, you don't need substances to get through them. That's the dirty secret. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Absolutely. When I was thinking of this topic, I was thinking about the fear and anxiety and then thinking about vulnerability and realizing these are a lot of the same topics. I wasn't vulnerable
before. I wasn't asking for help. The cure is to be as vulnerable as possible and to extend trust to other people, especially other people who are going through the same predicament you are. They may have answers because they went through it. They may be suffering the same thing. And then you both feel you're not alone. You get that validation. It'll help you through. You don't need a drink for that. You can have a conversation and feel better. Mm hmm. When you talked about strong
people, she came to mind. I don't know if she would give herself credit as being a strong person. I consider her incredibly strong. If you think about losing a husband who had a terminal illness for a decent amount of time, living through that strength sometimes is just. I get up out of my bed every day and I live the day that low, that low bar of I'm just I'm going to meetings, I'm continuing to be alive and try and muddle through sometimes.
That's incredible strength just to be able to do that. Mm hmm. This is where you can help another person, Someone like our friend who has gone through a terrible year, had loss, had to suffer through that Loss of being present can be an inspiration for other people, even when you don't realize it. I think about, you know, sometimes you said sometimes the best I can do is show up to a
meeting. You might be underselling yourself because sometimes if you show up to a meeting, there can be a better meeting for somebody else that if a couple people who just always show up to that meeting, stop showing up that meeting might go away, or the quality of sobriety there might not be good enough for the new person.
There's always going to be people filing in and out of meetings, but having even if it's like two or three people who are that core who are there every single time, that can be the stability for somebody else. Yep. Mm hmm. That was important to me early on, is seeing some people that I typically saw going to a few meetings and I could just tag along and know, okay, I know those person. They go to these three meetings, I know I'll be safe there because at least I'll know some people because it's
scary. It's scary when you first start and you go to these these meetings and church basements with these shady looking people, some of these people and, you know, why do I belong here? Yeah, Yeah, me too. What do you think in terms of step work, fear and anxiety? What are steps that you can use to help you out? Yeah, I'm thinking step three alone. Sometimes there's some prayer, some meditation that's going to help. No.
I've done some. I've done some roller coaster therapy, which has helped me in this, that we have these season tickets, the Six Flags. And I've never gone on roller coasters or any exciting ride in my life. But we have these things and on one hand, I want to take advantage of the ticket that I have, and the other hand is I don't want to be barred from an experience because I have fear. So I started going on these roller coasters, Superman. The ride is the one I had been waiting for.
Superman, The ride, if you don't know, it is kind of what you think it is. It's the biggest roller coaster in New England. It goes up to about it's the highest roller coaster, goes about 77 miles an hour. It goes way up like you. You time it out. It's about a minute that you're going up. And if you see it from the ground, it looks like, why the hell would I ever go on that? That looks scary as hell. And it's it's long. It goes a long, long way. And I wasn't going to
go on at the last time. And I finally said, I got to do this, I got to do this. And so my son sat next to me, which I was grateful for, and I had an experience with him. And you go up and you can see the river and you go down and I can't even remember half of this stuff because it was so intense. And I realized going on these roller coasters, the thing I fear is the things I cannot control.
Because when you get to the top in the roller coaster goes over and you've turned that potential energy into kinetic energy, it's the thing of you've got to go from the top to the station. There's no way you can stop and you have to just go with it and you have to go wherever that train's going, be it upside down or on the side or faster up and down through the tunnel. And there's nothing you can do to stop it. And I don't like that lack of control. I finally
realized that thing. I went on the sky screamer, which I realized was a mistake, was a mistake. This is a swing that goes up 425 feet and swings out at 40 miles an hour and the wind changes, and my swing turned backwards because of the weight differential between my daughter and I close my eyes the whole way. But it was that lack of control is now that it's gone up. The only thing I can do is to continue going up so I can come back down and there's nothing I
can do about it. And it's that lack of my control to stop it. That is my issue. And I'm doing this less because I'm enjoying the roller coaster and more of I need to get my way through this to understand why I fear this and how does it how does it bother me in other parts of life? Where does it affect me in other parts of life? So I can get past that too, So I can go down this roller coaster and deal with not being able to control where it's going to go.
Maybe this will help me with other things. Yeah. My wife told me I looked I was white as a ghost when she saw me swinging by. Yeah. You want more out of control? Try Wicked Cyclone. Even though Wicked Cyclone is smaller, you go up and it's a 90 degree drop. It goes straight down immediately into a curve and then into an invert. So you want to talk about not being in control that your body doesn't know which way it's going because it goes down and then you go on to the side and then
you're going upside down. There were times where I was bracing to go one way and the car went the other. That my body was totally confused. Talk about out of control and I'll tell you, I felt accomplished. I'm like, I did this. I actually got on these big, scary things and I did it. Now, before the season ends, I'm going to do a few more. I got two tickets. I might as well do it. Well, if you like this show, you can go to buy me a coffee dot com slash sober friends pod.
If you feel that this podcast is worth something, whatever it's worth to you, you have the opportunity to keep us going there with a donation. We do have expenses and you help us defray some of those costs. Head over to Super Friends podcast, Sign up for the newsletter, send out a weekly email or whenever I'm on another podcast or whatever, just to let you know what we're going, what's going on? I try and link to some type
of sober news story. It's very short, it is very infrequent, but it keeps you in touch with us. Steve, thanks for coming on and being vulnerable with fears and anxieties. And we'll see you next week by everybody. Absolutely. When I was thinking of this topic, I was thinking about the fear and anxiety and then thinking about vulnerability and realizing these are a lot of the same topics. I wasn't vulnerable before. I wasn't asking for help.
The cure is to be as vulnerable as possible and to extend trust to other people, especially other people who are going through the same predicament you are. They may have answers because they went through it. They may be suffering the same thing. And then you both feel you're not alone. You get that validation. It'll help you through. You don't need a drink for that. You can have a conversation and feel better.
Mm hmm. When I was thinking of this topic, I was thinking about the fear and anxiety and then thinking about vulnerability and realizing these are a lot of the same topics. I wasn't vulnerable before. I wasn't asking for help. The cure is to be as vulnerable as possible and to extend trust to other people, especially other people who are going through the same predicament you are. They may have answers because they went through it. They may be suffering the same thing. And then you both feel
you're not alone. You get that validation. It'll help you through. You don't need a drink for that. You can have a conversation and feel better. Mm hmm. You get that validation. It'll help you through. You don't need a drink for that. You can have a conversation and feel better. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. When you talked about strong people, she came to mind. I don't know if she would give herself credit as being a strong person. I consider her
incredibly strong. If you think about losing a husband who had a terminal illness for a decent amount of time, living through that strength sometimes is just. I get up out of my bed every day and I live the day that low, that low bar of I'm just I'm going to meetings, I'm continuing to be alive and try and muddle through sometimes. That's incredible strength just to be able to do that. Mm hmm. When you talked about strong people, she came to mind.
I don't know if she would give herself credit as being a strong person. I consider her incredibly strong. If you think about losing a husband who had a terminal illness for a decent amount of time, living through that strength sometimes is just. I get up out of my bed every day and I live the day that low, that low bar of I'm just I'm going to meetings, I'm continuing to be alive and try and muddle through sometimes. That's incredible strength just to be able to do that.
Mm hmm. When you talked about strong people, she came to mind. I don't know if she would give herself credit as being a strong person. I consider her incredibly strong. If you think about losing a husband who had a terminal illness for a decent amount of time, living through that strength sometimes is just. I get up out of my bed every day and I live the day that low, that low bar of I'm just I'm going to meetings, I'm continuing to be alive and try and muddle through sometimes.
That's incredible strength just to be able to do that. Mm hmm. When you talked about strong people, she came to mind. I don't know if she would give herself credit as being a strong person. I consider her incredibly strong. If you think about losing a husband who had a terminal illness for a decent amount of time, living through that strength sometimes is just.
I get up out of my bed every day and I live the day that low, that low bar of I'm just I'm going to meetings, I'm continuing to be alive and try and muddle through sometimes. That's incredible strength just to be able to do that. Mm hmm. When you talked about strong people, she came to mind. I don't know if she would give herself credit as being a strong person. I consider her
incredibly strong. If you think about losing a husband who had a terminal illness for a decent amount of time, living through that strength sometimes is just. I get up out of my bed every day and I live the day that low, that low bar of I'm just I'm going to meetings, I'm continuing to be alive and try and muddle through sometimes. That's incredible strength just to be able to do that. Mm hmm.
This is where you can help another person, Someone like our friend who has gone through a terrible year, had loss, had to suffer through that Loss of being present can be an inspiration for other people, even when you don't realize it. I think about, you know, sometimes you said sometimes the best I can do is show up to a
meeting. You might be underselling yourself because sometimes if you show up to a meeting, there can be a better meeting for somebody else that if a couple people who just always show up to that meeting, stop showing up that meeting might go away, or the quality of sobriety there might not be good enough for the new person.
There's always going to be people filing in and out of meetings, but having even if it's like two or three people who are that core who are there every single time, that can be the stability for somebody else. Yep. Mm hmm. That was important to me early on, is seeing some people that I typically saw going to a few meetings and I could just tag along and know, okay, I know those person. They go to these three meetings, I know I'll be safe there because at least I'll know some people because it's
scary. It's scary when you first start and you go to these these meetings and church basements with these shady looking people, some of these people and, you know, why do I belong here? Yeah, Yeah, me too. What do you think in terms of step work, fear and anxiety? What are steps that you can use to help you out? Yeah, I'm thinking step three alone. Sometimes there's some prayer, some meditation that's going to help. No.
I've done some. I've done some roller coaster therapy, which has helped me in this, that we have these season tickets, the Six Flags. And I've never gone on roller coasters or any exciting ride in my life. But we have these things and on one hand, I want to take advantage of the ticket that I have, and the other hand is I don't want to be barred from an experience because I have fear. So I started going on these roller coasters, Superman. The ride is the one I had been waiting for.
Superman, The ride, if you don't know, it is kind of what you think it is. It's the biggest roller coaster in New England. It goes up to about it's the highest roller coaster, goes about 77 miles an hour. It goes way up like you. You time it out. It's about a minute that you're going up. And if you see it from the ground, it looks like, why the hell would I ever go on that? That looks scary as hell. And it's it's long. It goes a long, long way. And I wasn't going to
go on at the last time. And I finally said, I got to do this, I got to do this. And so my son sat next to me, which I was grateful for, and I had an experience with him. And you go up and you can see the river and you go down and I can't even remember half of this stuff because it was so intense. And I realized going on these roller coasters, the thing I fear is the things I cannot control.
Because when you get to the top in the roller coaster goes over and you've turned that potential energy into kinetic energy, it's the thing of you've got to go from the top to the station. There's no way you can stop and you have to just go with it and you have to go wherever that train's going, be it upside down or on the side or faster up and down through the tunnel. And there's nothing you can do to stop it. And I don't like that lack of control. I finally
realized that thing. I went on the sky screamer, which I realized was a mistake, was a mistake. This is a swing that goes up 425 feet and swings out at 40 miles an hour and the wind changes, and my swing turned backwards because of the weight differential between my daughter and I close my eyes the whole way. But it was that lack of control is now that it's gone up. The only thing I can do is to continue going up so I can come back down and there's nothing I
can do about it. And it's that lack of my control to stop it. That is my issue. And I'm doing this less because I'm enjoying the roller coaster and more of I need to get my way through this to understand why I fear this and how does it how does it bother me in other parts of life? Where does it affect me in other parts of life? So I can get past that too, So I can go down this roller coaster and deal with not being able to control where it's going to go.
Maybe this will help me with other things. Yeah. My wife told me I looked I was white as a ghost when she saw me swinging by. Yeah. You want more out of control? Try Wicked Cyclone. Even though Wicked Cyclone is smaller, you go up and it's a 90 degree drop. It goes straight down immediately into a curve and then into an invert. So you want to talk about not being in control that your body doesn't know which way it's going because it goes down and then you go on to the side and then
you're going upside down. There were times where I was bracing to go one way and the car went the other. That my body was totally confused. Talk about out of control and I'll tell you, I felt accomplished. I'm like, I did this. I actually got on these big, scary things and I did it. Now, before the season ends, I'm going to do a few more. I got two tickets. I might as well do it. Well, if you like this show, you can go to buy me a coffee dot com slash sober friends pod.
If you feel that this podcast is worth something, whatever it's worth to you, you have the opportunity to keep us going there with a donation. We do have expenses and you help us defray some of those costs. Head over to Super Friends podcast, Sign up for the newsletter, send out a weekly email or whenever I'm on another podcast or whatever, just to let you know what we're going, what's going on? I try and link to some type
of sober news story. It's very short, it is very infrequent, but it keeps you in touch with us. Steve, thanks for coming on and being vulnerable with fears and anxieties. And we'll see you next week by everybody. This is where you can help another person, Someone like our friend who has gone through a terrible year, had loss, had to suffer through that Loss of being present can be an inspiration for other people, even when you don't realize it.
I think about, you know, sometimes you said sometimes the best I can do is show up to a meeting. You might be underselling yourself because sometimes if you show up to a meeting, there can be a better meeting for somebody else that if a couple people who just always show up to that meeting, stop showing up that meeting might go away, or the quality of sobriety there might not be good enough for the new person.
There's always going to be people filing in and out of meetings, but having even if it's like two or three people who are that core who are there every single time, that can be the stability for somebody else. Yep. This is where you can help another person, Someone like our friend who has gone through a terrible year, had loss, had to suffer through that Loss of being present can be an inspiration for other people, even when you don't realize it.
I think about, you know, sometimes you said sometimes the best I can do is show up to a meeting. You might be underselling yourself because sometimes if you show up to a meeting, there can be a better meeting for somebody else that if a couple people who just always show up to that meeting, stop showing up that meeting might go away, or the quality of sobriety there might not be good enough for the new person.
There's always going to be people filing in and out of meetings, but having even if it's like two or three people who are that core who are there every single time, that can be the stability for somebody else. Yep. Yep. Mm hmm. That was important to me early on, is seeing some people that I typically saw going to a few meetings and I could just tag along and know, okay, I know
those person. They go to these three meetings, I know I'll be safe there because at least I'll know some people because it's scary. It's scary when you first start and you go to these these meetings and church basements with these shady looking people, some of these people and, you know, why do I belong here? Yeah, Yeah, me too. What do you think in terms of step work, fear and anxiety? What are steps that you can use to help you out? Yeah, I'm thinking step three alone.
Sometimes there's some prayer, some meditation that's going to help. No. I've done some. I've done some roller coaster therapy, which has helped me in this, that we have these season tickets, the Six Flags. And I've never gone on roller coasters or any exciting ride in my life. But we have these things and on one hand, I want to take advantage of the ticket that I have, and the other hand is I don't want to be barred from an experience because I have fear. So I started going on these roller
coasters, Superman. The ride is the one I had been waiting for. Superman, The ride, if you don't know, it is kind of what you think it is. It's the biggest roller coaster in New England. It goes up to about it's the highest roller coaster, goes about 77 miles an hour. It goes way up like you. You time it out. It's about a minute that you're going up. And if you see it from the ground, it looks like, why the hell would I ever go on that? That looks scary as hell. And
it's it's long. It goes a long, long way. And I wasn't going to go on at the last time. And I finally said, I got to do this, I got to do this. And so my son sat next to me, which I was grateful for, and I had an experience with him. And you go up and you can see the river and you go down and I can't even remember half of this stuff because it was so intense. And I realized going on these roller coasters, the thing I fear is the things I cannot control.
Because when you get to the top in the roller coaster goes over and you've turned that potential energy into kinetic energy, it's the thing of you've got to go from the top to the station. There's no way you can stop and you have to just go with it and you have to go wherever that train's going, be it upside down or on the side or faster up and down through the tunnel. And there's nothing you can do to stop it. And I don't like that lack of control. I finally
realized that thing. I went on the sky screamer, which I realized was a mistake, was a mistake. This is a swing that goes up 425 feet and swings out at 40 miles an hour and the wind changes, and my swing turned backwards because of the weight differential between my daughter and I close my eyes the whole way. But it was that lack of control is now that it's gone up. The only thing I can do is to continue going up so I can come back down and there's nothing I
can do about it. And it's that lack of my control to stop it. That is my issue. And I'm doing this less because I'm enjoying the roller coaster and more of I need to get my way through this to understand why I fear this and how does it how does it bother me in other parts of life? Where does it affect me in other parts of life? So I can get past that too, So I can go down this roller coaster and deal with not being able to control where it's going to go.
Maybe this will help me with other things. Yeah. My wife told me I looked I was white as a ghost when she saw me swinging by. Yeah. You want more out of control? Try Wicked Cyclone. Even though Wicked Cyclone is smaller, you go up and it's a 90 degree drop. It goes straight down immediately into a curve and then into an invert. So you want to talk about not being in control that your body doesn't know which way it's going because it goes down and then you go on to the side and then
you're going upside down. There were times where I was bracing to go one way and the car went the other. That my body was totally confused. Talk about out of control and I'll tell you, I felt accomplished. I'm like, I did this. I actually got on these big, scary things and I did it. Now, before the season ends, I'm going to do a few more. I got two tickets. I might as well do it. Well, if you like this show, you can go to buy me a coffee dot com slash sober friends pod.
If you feel that this podcast is worth something, whatever it's worth to you, you have the opportunity to keep us going there with a donation. We do have expenses and you help us defray some of those costs. Head over to Super Friends podcast, Sign up for the newsletter, send out a weekly email or whenever I'm on another podcast or whatever, just to let you know what we're going, what's going on? I try and link to some type
of sober news story. It's very short, it is very infrequent, but it keeps you in touch with us. Steve, thanks for coming on and being vulnerable with fears and anxieties. And we'll see you next week by everybody. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. That was important to me early on, is seeing some people that I typically saw going to a few meetings and I could just tag along and know, okay, I know
those person. They go to these three meetings, I know I'll be safe there because at least I'll know some people because it's scary. It's scary when you first start and you go to these these meetings and church basements with these shady looking people, some of these people and, you know, why do I belong here? Yeah, Yeah, me too. That was important to me early on, is seeing some people that I typically saw going to a few meetings and I could just tag along and know,
okay, I know those person. They go to these three meetings, I know I'll be safe there because at least I'll know some people because it's scary. It's scary when you first start and you go to these these meetings and church basements with these shady looking people, some of these people and, you know, why do I belong here? Yeah, Yeah, me too. What do you think in terms of step work, fear and anxiety? What are steps that you can use to help you out? Yeah, I'm thinking step three alone.
Sometimes there's some prayer, some meditation that's going to help. No. No. No. No. I've done some. I've done some roller coaster therapy, which has helped me in this, that we have these season tickets, the Six Flags. And I've never gone on roller coasters or any exciting ride in my life. But we have these things and on one hand, I want to take advantage of the ticket that I have, and the other hand is I don't want to be barred from an experience
because I have fear. So I started going on these roller coasters, Superman. The ride is the one I had been waiting for. Superman, The ride, if you don't know, it is kind of what you think it is. It's the biggest roller coaster in New England. It goes up to about it's the highest roller coaster, goes about 77 miles an hour. It goes way up like you. You time it out. It's about a minute that you're going up. And if you see it from the ground, it looks like, why the hell would I ever go on that?
That looks scary as hell. And it's it's long. It goes a long, long way. And I wasn't going to go on at the last time. And I finally said, I got to do this, I got to do this. And so my son sat next to me, which I was grateful for, and I had an experience with him. And you go up and you can see the river and you go down and I can't even remember half of this stuff because it was so intense. And I realized going on these roller coasters, the thing I fear is the things I cannot control.
Because when you get to the top in the roller coaster goes over and you've turned that potential energy into kinetic energy, it's the thing of you've got to go from the top to the station. There's no way you can stop and you have to just go with it and you have to go wherever that train's going, be it upside down or on the side or faster up and down through the tunnel. And there's nothing you can do to stop it. And I don't like that lack of control. I finally
realized that thing. I went on the sky screamer, which I realized was a mistake, was a mistake. This is a swing that goes up 425 feet and swings out at 40 miles an hour and the wind changes, and my swing turned backwards because of the weight differential between my daughter and I close my eyes the whole way. But it was that lack of control is now that it's gone up. The only thing I can do is to continue going up so I can come back down and there's nothing I
can do about it. And it's that lack of my control to stop it. That is my issue. And I'm doing this less because I'm enjoying the roller coaster and more of I need to get my way through this to understand why I fear this and how does it how does it bother me in other parts of life? Where does it affect me in other parts of life? So I can get past that too, So I can go down this roller coaster and deal with not being able to control where it's going to go.
Maybe this will help me with other things. Yeah. My wife told me I looked I was white as a ghost when she saw me swinging by. Yeah. You want more out of control? Try Wicked Cyclone. Even though Wicked Cyclone is smaller, you go up and it's a 90 degree drop. It goes straight down immediately into a curve and then into an invert. So you want to talk about not being in control that your body doesn't know which way it's going because it goes down and then you go on to the side and then
you're going upside down. There were times where I was bracing to go one way and the car went the other. That my body was totally confused. Talk about out of control and I'll tell you, I felt accomplished. I'm like, I did this. I actually got on these big, scary things and I did it. Now, before the season ends, I'm going to do a few more. I got two tickets. I might as well do it. Well, if you like this show, you can go to buy me a coffee dot com slash sober friends pod.
If you feel that this podcast is worth something, whatever it's worth to you, you have the opportunity to keep us going there with a donation. We do have expenses and you help us defray some of those costs. Head over to Super Friends podcast, Sign up for the newsletter, send out a weekly email or whenever I'm on another podcast or whatever, just to let you know what we're going, what's going on? I try and link to some type
of sober news story. It's very short, it is very infrequent, but it keeps you in touch with us. Steve, thanks for coming on and being vulnerable with fears and anxieties. And we'll see you next week by everybody. I've done some. I've done some roller coaster therapy, which has helped me in this, that we have these season tickets, the Six Flags. And I've never gone on roller coasters or any exciting ride in my life.
But we have these things and on one hand, I want to take advantage of the ticket that I have, and the other hand is I don't want to be barred from an experience because I have fear. So I started going on these roller coasters, Superman. The ride is the one I had been waiting for. Superman, The ride, if you don't know, it is kind of what you think it is. It's the biggest roller coaster in New England. It goes up to about it's the highest roller coaster, goes about 77 miles an hour. It
goes way up like you. You time it out. It's about a minute that you're going up. And if you see it from the ground, it looks like, why the hell would I ever go on that? That looks scary as hell. And it's it's long. It goes a long, long way. And I wasn't going to go on at the last time. And I finally said, I got to do this, I got to do this. And so my son sat next to me, which I was grateful for, and I
had an experience with him. And you go up and you can see the river and you go down and I can't even remember half of this stuff because it was so intense. And I realized going on these roller coasters, the thing I fear is the things I cannot control. Because when you get to the top in the roller coaster goes over and you've turned that potential energy into kinetic energy, it's the thing of you've got to go from the top to the
station. There's no way you can stop and you have to just go with it and you have to go wherever that train's going, be it upside down or on the side or faster up and down through the tunnel. And there's nothing you can do to stop it. And I don't like that lack of control. I finally realized that thing. I went on the sky screamer, which I realized was a mistake, was a
mistake. This is a swing that goes up 425 feet and swings out at 40 miles an hour and the wind changes, and my swing turned backwards because of the weight differential between my daughter and I close my eyes the whole way. But it was that lack of control is now that it's gone up. The only thing I can do is to continue going up so I can come back down and there's nothing I can do about it. And it's that lack of my control to stop it.
That is my issue. And I'm doing this less because I'm enjoying the roller coaster and more of I need to get my way through this to understand why I fear this and how does it how does it bother me in other parts of life? Where does it affect me in other parts of life? So I can get past that too, So I can go down this roller coaster and deal with not being able to control where it's going to go. Maybe this will help me with other things.
Yeah. My wife told me I looked I was white as a ghost when she saw me swinging by. I've done some roller coaster therapy, which has helped me in this, that we have these season tickets, the Six Flags. And I've never gone on roller coasters or any exciting ride in my life. But we have these things and on one hand, I want to take advantage of the ticket that I have, and the other hand is I don't want to be barred from an experience because I have fear. So I started going on these
roller coasters, Superman. The ride is the one I had been waiting for. Superman, The ride, if you don't know, it is kind of what you think it is. It's the biggest roller coaster in New England. It goes up to about it's the highest roller coaster, goes about 77 miles an hour. It goes way up like you. You time it out. It's about a minute that you're going up. And if you see it from the ground, it looks like, why the hell would I ever go on that? That looks scary as hell. And it's it's long. It
goes a long, long way. And I wasn't going to go on at the last time. And I finally said, I got to do this, I got to do this. And so my son sat next to me, which I was grateful for, and I had an experience with him. And you go up and you can see the river and you go down and I can't even remember half of this stuff because it was so intense. And I realized going on these roller coasters, the thing I fear is the things I cannot
control. Because when you get to the top in the roller coaster goes over and you've turned that potential energy into kinetic energy, it's the thing of you've got to go from the top to the station. There's no way you can stop and you have to just go with it and you have to go wherever that train's going, be it upside down or on the side or faster up and down through the tunnel. And there's nothing you can do to stop it. And I don't like that lack of control. I
finally realized that thing. I went on the sky screamer, which I realized was a mistake, was a mistake. This is a swing that goes up 425 feet and swings out at 40 miles an hour and the wind changes, and my swing turned backwards because of the weight differential between my daughter and I close my eyes the whole way. But it was that lack of control is now that it's gone up. The only thing I can do is to continue going up so I can come back down and there's nothing I
can do about it. And it's that lack of my control to stop it. That is my issue. And I'm doing this less because I'm enjoying the roller coaster and more of I need to get my way through this to understand why I fear this and how does it how does it bother me in other parts of life? Where does it affect me in other parts of life? So I can get past that too, So I can go down this roller coaster and deal with not being able to control where it's
going to go. Maybe this will help me with other things. Yeah. My wife told me I looked I was white as a ghost when she saw me swinging by. Yeah. You want more out of control? Try Wicked Cyclone. Even though Wicked Cyclone is smaller, you go up and it's a 90 degree drop. It goes straight down immediately into a curve and then into an invert. So you want to talk about not being in control that your body doesn't know which way it's going because it goes down and then you go on to the side and then
you're going upside down. There were times where I was bracing to go one way and the car went the other. That my body was totally confused. Talk about out of control and I'll tell you, I felt accomplished. I'm like, I did this. I actually got on these big, scary things and I did it. Now, before the season ends, I'm going to do a few more. I got two tickets. I might as well do it. Well, if you like this show, you can go to buy me a coffee dot com slash sober friends pod.
If you feel that this podcast is worth something, whatever it's worth to you, you have the opportunity to keep us going there with a donation. We do have expenses and you help us defray some of those costs. Head over to Super Friends podcast, Sign up for the newsletter, send out a weekly email or whenever I'm on another podcast or whatever, just to let you know what we're going, what's going on? I try and link to some type
of sober news story. It's very short, it is very infrequent, but it keeps you in touch with us. Steve, thanks for coming on and being vulnerable with fears and anxieties. And we'll see you next week by everybody. Yeah. You want more out of control? Try Wicked Cyclone. Even though Wicked Cyclone is smaller, you go up and it's a 90 degree drop. It goes straight down immediately into a curve and
then into an invert. So you want to talk about not being in control that your body doesn't know which way it's going because it goes down and then you go on to the side and then you're going upside down. There were times where I was bracing to go one way and the car went the other. That my body was totally confused. Talk about out of control and I'll tell you, I felt accomplished. I'm like, I did this. I actually got on these big, scary things and I did it. Now, before the season ends, I'm
going to do a few more. I got two tickets. I might as well do it. Well, if you like this show, you can go to buy me a coffee dot com slash sober friends pod. If you feel that this podcast is worth something, whatever it's worth to you, you have the opportunity to keep us going there with a donation. We do have expenses and you help us
defray some of those costs. Head over to Super Friends podcast, Sign up for the newsletter, send out a weekly email or whenever I'm on another podcast or whatever, just to let you know what we're going, what's going on? I try and link to some type of sober news story. It's very short, it is very infrequent, but it keeps you in touch with us. Steve, thanks for coming on and being vulnerable with fears and anxieties. And we'll see you next week by everybody.